Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but now all 29,645 members are writing with you. Have fun keeping up with those replies!

I wish we didn't have to turn our clocks ahead this weekend.
 
Granted, but, like that everlasting sun you just gifted us with, you'll constantly be burning, because you're now made of fire. What's that saying again? Beat fire with fire? *smirk*

I wish I wasn't so tired from work.
 
Granted, now you'll never have to work again and become homeless for the rest of your life.

I wish I wasn't so shy when it comes to flirting with others.
 
Granted. You are no longer shy when you flirt with others. However now when you flirt with someone they spontaneously burst into flames.

I wish I was fireproof.
 
Granted. Now your skin is made of asbestos, and you're not immune to the effect of exposure.

I wish I was motivated.
 
Granted! However, you’re so motivated you work all the time and have no free time - barely enough to eat and sleep.
 
Granted! However, you're SO f'ing adorable people can't stand looking at you or being around you. You're literally too much for them to handle. The cuteness hurts! It burns! IT BURNS!

I wish I could win the lottery.
 
Granted. But everyone else in the world wins the same lottery at the same time, causing you to receive only one-seven billionth of the pot.

I wish I had an unlimited supply of gummy bears.
 
Granted, but now you have diabeetus and can't eat any kind of sweets ever again, not even before or after taking some insulin.

I wish that I could find a cure for procrastination.
 
Granted, but the moment you start flying gravity loses effect throughout the entire planet.

I wish I could trick the next person into forgetting to give me a corruption
 
Granted, now you have amnesia and don't know who you are, but can remember everything else that you're told from now on.

I wish to invent something helpful for humanity.
 
Granted! But, regretfully, your invention is so helpful that everyone on the planet becomes useless blobs because they don’t have to lift a finger ever again.

I wish it would stop raining.
 
Granted, now it'll never rain again and the world turns into a gigantic desert.

I wish there was a place where everything is made out of sweets.
 
Granted. You’re in Scotland just in time to be conscripted in William Wallace’s army. Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll end well for everyone involved.

I wish playing with toys as an adult had the same magic it did when I was a kid.
 
Granted! But now, after playing with your sex, er, adult toys, you wield a dark and dangerous, advanced magic that everyone fears.

I wish I could afford a Tom Ford tuxedo.
 
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Granted! The day you get your driver's license, cars become obsolete.

I wish the weather was more pleasant lately.
 
Granted, but now you can't enjoy it because you're at the Southpole all of a sudden. In your underwear.

I wish that it would be normal to not wear any clothes as long as you have a nice looking body.
 
Granted! Now no one has a nice body. Embrace the ugly.

I wish trains didn't go by my house so much.
 
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