Corrupt a Wish

[Lord David Booyah]

Wish granted: No, water is NOT wet.

I wish for at least seventeen more wishes.

 

[DarkHorse]

Granted, seventeen more Wish, and online e-commerce company are created.

I wish to be a firebender.

 

[Revnarh]

Granted, you can make the flames of candles flicker in any way you want.

I wish my sweat tasted sweet instead of salty.

 

[DaL]

Granted, and now you've just given your mate diabetes.

I wish politicians would learn to get along.

 

[Revnarh]

Granted, but a nuclear war gets started by accident.

I wish there were no more weapons in this world.

 

[FaithAndABlade]

Wish granted! All weapons in this world, and anything that could be used as a weapon vanish... Stone, metal, wood, human bodies... The whole world vanishes.

I wish I was able to safely teleport myself and others around!

 

[DaL]

Granted, and now you and others are dead because you didn't understand the no cloning theorem.

I wish I could project into someone else's dreams.

 

[Revnarh]

Granted, but you get stuck in a nightmare while your body falls into a coma.

I wish to be able to grant the wishes of other people like a genie.

 

[DaL]

(Dude, really?)

PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER...

in an itty bitty living space

…. cough I wish I could tell when people are lying or not.

 

[Lord David Booyah]

Granted, but you have no control over wether you lie or not.

I wish for a sniper rifle that never misses, and that only I can use.

 

[Revnarh]

Granted, you never can find the right ammo.

I wish to be able to live a long, happy life without any illnesses or handicaps.

 

[Fentanyl]

Granted, life expectancy is now one hour and you will live for two. That’s 100% longer than everyone else!

I wish I was a morning person.

 

[Lord David Booyah]

Granted, you fall asleep at noon and wake up at 5

I wish to be taken advantage of.

 

[Revnarh]

Granted, you're being taken advantage of by a scam artists who steals everything you own, including your freedom.

I wish to be the maid of a kinky lesbian couple.

 

[Fentanyl]

Granted. They get too kinky and you are killed from asphyxiation.

I wish lightsabers were real.

 

[Revnarh]

Granted, but you destroy the world by accident

I wish to be a jedi master.

 

[Fentanyl]

We grant you a seat on the council, but do not grant you the rank of Master.

Granted. Your cohorts try and arrest a major political player and you die in the process.

I wish healthy foods tasted better.

 

[Revnarh]

Granted, but you lose all your taste and now everything is extremely bland to you no matter what you try.

I wish to be able to breath fire, ice and lightning like a dragon without harming myself while doing it.

 

[Adamina]

Granted, but now you can never breathe/kiss etc. on others without burning, freezing, or electrocuting them.

I wish to be able to teleport through different times of my life and make edits.

 

[Fentanyl]

Granted. For every edit you make, you forget a separate memory.

I wish money grew on trees.

 

[Revnarh]

Granted, but now money is the only thing that grows on trees and it becomes useless very fast since it can't even be used to create a fire without releasing toxins into the air.

I wish there wasn't so much plastic in the oceans.

 

[Fentanyl]

Granted, now there are no oceans for the plastic to be in.

I wish my laundry folded itself.

 

[Lord David Booyah]

Granted; while you sleep, it folds itself around your head. Have fun breathing!

I wish to be Scrombled.

 

[Revnarh]

Granted, you get eaten by Cthulhu.

I wish to be a pro gamer.

 

[Twisted_iN_Tux]

Granted, but now you can only function as a gamer, so every move you make in the real world now needs to be carried out via a game controller that is tethered directly to your brain.

I wish DC would slow its movie roll and build a better shared universe.