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Corrupt a Wish

Fuck...

granted, but when around you all anyone can think about is your flaws

I wish was physically fit and had a great body.
 
Granted, but no one believes you

I wish everyone on Earth got along and there was no more war.
 
Granted, but you still need to dream and go insane

I wish I had all of superman's powers.
 
Granted, but you now live in the CDC in Atlanta, as they are trying to create a cure for cancer from you, and your cell has an ‘aura’ of Kryptonite around it. Have fun with your newfound powers!
I wish for the Nile.
 
Granted, now they visit you on a daily basis, no matter where you are at the moment. Every single company in a rotation shift.

I wish to never be late again for my appointments.
 
Granted, except for the fact that you'll be getting constant reminders on your house phone, your cell phone, email addresses where applicable and snail mail every hour on the hour, with more frequent reminders as your appointments draw nearer to the day. In the end, you either die by getting an avalanche of snail mail dumped on you, or you go insane from the constant reminders on your phones and emails.

Also, it's not covered by your HMO. Tough break.

I wish Winter was over already.
 
Granted, but this can only be accomplished by having sex with the spirit of winter, a malevolent being that has the exact personality and appearance that you find most repulsive. If you go a day without having sex with them, you are plunged into a deep, freezing winter once again.

Also, he breaks your air conditioning.

I wish I could stop thinking of things in an overly elaborate manner.
 
You're insanely smart but you're now a vegetable with no way to convey your amazing thoughts.

I wish I could sing.
 
Revnarh said:
Granted, but now you can't experience any joy anymore.

I wish there was no reason to wage war between others.
Click to expand...

(Story of my life. :rolleyes:)

Granted, except now, people mock each other over the clothes they wear. But even then, people couldn't care any less about it.

I wish I had more money.
 
Granted, the economy is destoyed now and everyone has worthless money that can't even be used for fires thanks to all the chemistry in them.

I wish to be lucky enough to find some expensive treasure.
 
Granted, the host country or country of treasure's origin sends a team of elite and wealthy attorneys to you and demands that you hand over the treasures as they are claiming ownership, and they have a writ of seizure from their highest court.

I wish Utopia was real.
 
Granted, but it tastes like ash and turns into dust as soon as you or someone else tries to eat it.

I wish I had a bottle of vodka that never runs out.
 
Granted, it's 20 proof, so the weakest Vodka on the planet, and stringy from poorly fermented potatoes so it's clumpy and just plain bad. It freezes unlike good alcohol and so bad that homeless, alcoholic Russians won't even bother to drink it.

I wish I could control time.
 
Granted. Sadly, homophones are a thing. As a result, the genie grants you the ability to control thyme.

I wish to always have enough money to pay my bills.
 
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