Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but you also have to do the stereotypically exaggerated Italian hand gestures.

I wish lexx was still coming out with new episodes.
 
Granted! You now have no way to watch TV.

I wish people would pay attention.
 
Granted! Now they never look away. Not when you're sleeping, showering, eating, and having sex. They're always watching. Always.

I wish 3:30pm was here already.
 
Granted! It's 3:30PM a year from now, you lost a lot of time for an hour of impatience.

I wish fried food was healthy for me.
 
Granted, but now anything else will give you food poisoning.

I wish I had some soda pop.
 
Granted! Your ability to taste is gone.

I wish my neighbor's were quieter.
 
Granted! You now can, but you weren't properly trained to do either and you're not fit enough to handle the stress, so you're always perpetually tired and relentlessly sore.

I wish I had a pizza.
 
Granted, you're now frozen in time for eternity so you can't die while everyone else thinks you're just another incredible statue. But at least you can still hear and see what is going on around you.

I wish I could turn toxic waste and other trash into delicious food.
 
Granted, you can now only change the look of toxic waste and other trash into that of delicious food but it remains waste nontheless

I wish I was the best in every sport
 
Granted. You’re surrounded by giant frogs at all moments of your life, keeping insects and arachnids at bay.

I wish that video games cost less.
 
Granted, but you're haunting them after their death, not yours. So at least once a day you are transported to the afterlife where you have to pretend to be dead as well.

I wish they would release a trailer for the new Star Wars movie.
 
Granted. You just saw a semi trailer on the side of the road with the words "The New Star Wars Movie!" written on it.

I wish I could travel anywhere in the world with a single thought.
 
Granted, but your thoughts are so all over the place, in trying to figure out where you want to go now, where you want to go next, where you don't want to go, etc. etc. etc. that you're never in any one location for longer than a hot minute.

I wish more drivers knew the difference between merging and yielding.
 
Granted, but even knowing the difference they continue to do the same things.

I wish more people would pay attention to me.
 
Granted, everyone is now only looking at you and not paying attention to anything else, even when you're sleeping. Soon your house gets cramped while countless people stalk you.

I wish to be rich.
 
Granted, but if anyone compliments how you're dressed then your clothes become transparent.

I wish I could go on a date with a really kinky petite girl.
 
Granted, she gives you a fake phone number at the end while telling you to call her for a second date.

I wish that the next woman who I find atractive falls in love with me as soon as I see her.
 
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She falls in love with you. You have an amazing and sexually charged relationship, but she turns out to be your estranged sister.

I wish I could gain weight.
 
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