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Corrupt a Wish

Granted but now your hair grows inside of your skin instead of outside.

I wish I can go to a beautiful island and relax on the beach.
 
The sun is shining, the beach is clean, the water is warm...it's perfect. Unfortunately, the massive earthquake that occurred 100km away has sent a huge tusnami in your direction.


I wish I could go and live on Mars.
 
Granted. But in your dreams you watch yourselves in alternative universe not ever sleeping.

I wish I always had a trimmed beard, without needing to work on it every two-three of days!
 
Fuck hair, if I get maintenance free beard!

Granted, but your crousing speed 2 centimetres per hour.

I wish I had uncorruptable wish!
 
Granted...but in order for your incorruptible wish to be granted, you first need to get it ratified by three different lawyers to verify that the language of your wish is exact in every detail with no room for misinterpretation or inaccuracy.


I wish I had all of the powers of Dr Manhattan.
 
Granted, but your powers only work in and affect Manhattan.

Sticking with the theme of comic characters, I wish for the powers of Spider-Man.
 
Granted. You get a hastily written one-liner.

I wish to feel nothing.
 
Granted. You have an extremely detailed perception of the void and nothingness. You can feel nothing with every single cell of your body. You feel the emptiness of the space between protons and electrons of every single atom that is passing you. The time stops as your brain tries to process octogintillions of pieces of emptiness.

I want a glass of ice cold, but still drinkable white wine.
 
Granted. The wine is, as requested, ice-cold. As ice, it does indeed become drinkable...as it thaws and melts, during which the quality of the wine is somewhat diminished.


Let's go basic: I want a million dollars to be deposited in my bank account with no strings attached.
 
Granted. You get one million Zimbabwean dollars.

I want to become a cat.
 
Granted, you become a cat, life is good first few days, but then you are bitten by a radioactive woman, and you become catwoman. Your life is now a mess.

I want my mind blown.
 
( Hehe...you can claim it. :) )

Granted: your mind is blown. Unfortunately, the explosion is not contained to your mind...



I wish to have the musical talent of Paul Simon.
 
Granted but it’s not that Paul Simon, but just some guy who plays the triangle in a folk band.

I wish I was better at hockey.
 
Granted, you are better at hockey, barely. Just a tiny itty bit.

I wish to get a hobby that requires less time, less coordination, but just as much fun as (E)RPing!
 
Granted but it’s really expensive

I wish I had time to join every RP board I wanted to
 
Granted, but like a bird you can no longer drink carbonation or eat rice.

I wish I had the time and space to rest until I was no longer tired.
 
Granted. Over time you find yourself becoming exceedingly proficient with small handguns, pistols, revolvers...


I wish I could find better ways to manage my time at work.
 
Granted. You become a master clockmaker, but only when physically in your office from 9am to 5pm Monday thru Friday.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of sparkling waters. 🤞🏻
 
Granted. But it’s impossible to open the bottles.

I wish reality was the way I want it all to be.
 
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