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Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but the additional hands rot at 11:59 pm every night and you are required to cut them off with a hatchet. They will grow back by morning, but you're in for a painful and uncomfortable night. And your trash is full of... hands.

I wish I could teleport to any location I want. Similar to Jumper where I just have to picture the location.
 
Umbrale said:
(Brutally specific wishes, to the chagrin of many a genie; I dub thee, "Creative Sadist".)
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*wicked grin*

Granted! You’re able to teleport anywhere with any objects that you’re wearing or holding. The only thing that doesn’t carry through a teleport is your orientation. You never know what body part you’re going to land on. It leads to a lot of bruised elbows and knees, twisted ankles, a sore ass, not to mention the ever presented risk that you will land badly on your head.

I wish that I could pick up any hobby I wanted and get good at it without frustration.
 
Granted, but only you hear it good while everyone else who hears it thinks it's horrible and want to hit you with a chair to make you stop.

I wish that I could turn myself invincible and unable to feel pain at will.
 
Granted, but your skin feels nothing, ever.

I wish I had my dream job.
 
You got it and now you think the job sucks and quit within a week.

I wish for a punching ghost that only I can command.
 
Granted! The ghost is incorporeal and invisible to everyone else, so no matter who you tell it to throw hands at, they are completely unaffected.

I wish I could see fine without glasses or contacts.
 
Granted, but every time you go to sleep your colour perception changes, so every time you wake up every colour has changed into a different colour.

I wish I owned the magic mirror from Snow White.
 
Granted, but it only speaks in Middle English and constantly makes pretentious, unprompted allusions to Ovid.

I wish I had a ttrpg group that met consistently.
 
Enjoy your group edgelords who barely talk about their backstory and don't care about the plot only wanting to be a bunch of murder hobos.

I wish could easily learn about the things I need to know about ttrpg to be able to play well enough that I don't slow everything down.
 
Granted you now have a private jet, specifically the Trump Force One and thus you are charged with and found guilty of its theft.

I wish that Pluto was still classified as a planet.
 
Pluto is classified as a planet, but larger orbital bodies that presently qualify as planets receive a new term.

I wish I could make people have an orgasm on the spot just by looking at them and thinking the order "Cum."
 
Granted, but everyone can read your mind and knows you're doing it.

I wish I could perfect my hot sauce recipe.
 
Granted, from now on, the only people who take interest in you sexually or romantically have variations of hot-sauce kinks.

I want to become a trust-fund baby!
 
Granted. A long lost relative dies leaving you millions of dollars. At first things go well, you receive the first quarterly payment, but the wish also makes you too trusting. You meet a handsome stranger who invests the money (mostly in himself and his addictions) and you lose everything.

The other downside is that you start to age regress to the infantile stage. You end your days in the infantile ward of a special home where your quarterly checks pay for your upkeep.

I want to travel the world and stay at first class hotels!
 
Granted, you do get to travel the world and stay at first class hotels but some of the worst ones.

I want to be successful at my job.
 
Granted, but you'll suffer from a massive burnout that ruins your life. You succeed beyond your wildest expectations, earning money and accolades. However you are left with no time to spend with your loved ones. You will have to forget all hobbies you might have had as you have barely enough time to sleep before your work calls again. You die of stroke before turning 40, alone in your home, abandoned by your friends and family you never had the time for. Your eulogy is published on the Time.

I want a cat. :3
 
Granted...but the cat is a large black panther that has a nasty disposition and is eternally hungry.


I want to be the master of my emotions. >.>
 
You completely control your emotions, you keep them in check and this makes you taciturn. You withdraw. You decide people aren't worth the emotional investment and you live in a cave as a hermit.

I want to be drop dead good looking.
 
You find your dog is a very boring being, not nearly as exciting as you thought and you wake up one morning collared and leashed as he takes you for a walk.

I want to give a woman the perfect orgasm.
 
During the orgasm, her body clamps down onto your dick and won't let go. The only way to separate you two is to call the paramedics.

I want to come home from work one day to find a cute girl waiting for me on my bed only wearing one of my Hawaiian shirts.
 
Unfortunately, the shirt has pizza sauce all over it because the person you’re living with is a total slob, and she’s musty down there from not washing her vagina.

I want my words to change the world.
 
Granted. While your words appear to make the world better for your local area, the greater population has a problem with your particular worldview and declares war against it.


I want money to never be an issue for me.

Victorian_Virtue said:
You completely control your emotions, you keep them in check and this makes you taciturn. You withdraw. You decide people aren't worth the emotional investment and you live in a cave as a hermit.
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Sold! :)
 
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