Corrupt a Wish

Granted, you colonize mars, but before you have a firmly established colony, all life on earth is wiped out by nuclear war, and you are now facing a slow and rather painful death.

I wish we could live underwater.
 
Granted! But all life on the surface is wiped by some disaster and there is always danger of the dome crashing and drowning you all.

I wish people were more determined and optimistic
 
Granted, but it’s in your ass after it was probed by aliens and now your ass will experimented on by the government in Area 52 for the rest of your life.

I wish I was a woman 👩.
 
Granted, but now all the boys drool after you anytime you are seen in public.

I wish we didn't need money.
 
Granted. The play by play of the truck coming in front of you in another ten seconds is paralyzing.

I wish for peace, prosperity, and freedom to my new empire.
 
Granted. The empire's scientists develop an AI which immediately takes over, promising to provide an opulent utopia. However, as reward for this utopia, the AI requires the current empress to be restrained in public at all times - serving as a monument of sorts to the past.

The citizens near-instantly agree, clothing and binding you as required by the AI. As your empire blooms, you are led along on a leash to serve as a symbol of the empire's submission to the AI.
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I wish my productivity and motivation existed IRL to the same extent that it exists when writing RP posts >.<
 
Granted. The motivation becomes so strong you ignore necessities such as sleeping and eating and work yourself to death.

I wish The Last of Us Part 2 wasn't delayed indefinitely.
 
Granted - it is released immediately

However, the magic messabouts required to achieve this also leave it costing upwards of $10,000.

I wish my profile could get access to the threads in less than 24 hours - a person or two could certainly use a PM from me 🤩
 
Granted. You've approached them too soon, and they slip from between your fingers D:

I wish this could hold images.
 
Granted. All the images you link turn into a photo of a snail o:

I wish I could arrange my phone to only vibrate with calls and stay silent with texts/alerts.
 
Hope you enjoy missing time-sensitive texts and alerts that actually have something important.... obviously, they all come once you've gotten your wish.

I wish for a a really nice face harness. You know, a ball, a blindfold, something for the ears... all the good stuff, still showing enough skin to tease.
 
Granted - the harness pops into place, turning invisible soon after - while you can still feel and be impeded by it, nobody else can understand why you seem to be stumbling around like that

I wish programming was less tedious >.<
 
Granted; it is no longer possible to program anything more complex than "Hello world."

I wish for a beautiful Tudor-style home by the water.
 
You're living in the first site of chaos once the beasts leak out. Aren't you honored being one of the first meals?

I wish I was a banana.
 
What's that? I'm a bit hard of hearing nowadays (must be due to the gag - somehow), but you want to be a bandana? Very well - poof, you're a bandana...

I wish I had somebody to come give me back scritches at this very moment
 
Granted, allow me to introduce you to your new friend
claws_by_surk3_d6dk4bw-fullview.jpg


Going off your theme, I wish I had somebody to slap those handcuffs in my profile pic on - would you care to be said victi- ehem, playmate?
 
Granted, but they’re a literal cop and you’re going straight to jail. Do not pass go Do not have kinky bondage sex.

I wish I was in a hotel bed somewhere tropical spooning with a sexy lover.
 
Granted. You shall have a villa on a private island in the Pacific with a gorgeous Spaniard named Juan.

You will have the island to yourself with 3 months of supplies. Mostly grapes that'll go bad in 2 weeks and the soonest another supply shipment can arrive is in 2 years.

Now, I wish I had a hundred million dollars.
 
Granted. It's being air delivered in a box full of quarters. It ought to drop right where you're standing in 3...2...1... CRASH

(I can't believe you gave me rotten grapes)

I wish I was getting a good oily massage right now.
 
Alright, I'll give an oil massage using oil for cars.

I wish for some chips and a coke!
 
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