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Corrupt a Wish

Granted. You get one cheesecake and choke to death on the last bite.

I wish for an endless supply of wishes.
 
Granted, but you can only give away the wishes to other people and not use any on yourself.

I wish to successfully save humankind
 
Granted, but overpopulation eventually leads to the destruction of the planet.

I wish my body was sexually irresistible.
 
Granted, but now you have to hide away in seclusion because every adult male mammal wishes to mate with you when they gaze onto you.

I wish the global climate returned to pre-industrial levels without harming humanity
 
Granted, but all modern technology fails, forcing humanity to reinvent everything from pre-industrial times to modern times.

I wish that I could shapchange at-will.
 
Granted, but you cannot control what you can change into.

I wish I can lose 45 kilograms of fat in a year without permanent negative repercussions, including death.
 
Granted, but you must stick to an exhausting exercise and dieting regiment that, if not maintained after the initial year, will lead to increased weight gain.

I wish I could communicate telepathically with any human I desired.
 
Granted, but you cannot turn it off and hear the voices of everyone bombarding you.

I wish to become the beloved ruler of Earth.
 
Granted, but all other living species on Earth cease to exist, leaving you as the sole ruler of the Earth, beloved by yourself.

I wish to have absolute control over fire and flames.
 
Granted, but you need start a fire to get it to activitate and it requires complex hand movements to do so and memorizing equations.

I wish all the jerk politicians instantly retired to pork farms.
 
Gone, but now the new ones are even worse than the previous ones.

I wish for free meals everywhere.
 
Granted. But now alcohol causes you to be in extended blackout periods where you lose all control of your bowels and you wake up still hungry, thirsty and soiled.

I wish lightning would strike down every current and future asshole politician minutes into their inauguration
 
Granted. Except the definition of an asshole is highly subjective. And now all politicians (even the ones that might've made a difference) are struck by lightning. Thus, a cruel, grounded, robot overlord in instated, who deems that all humans are assholes.

And incinerates us.

I wish I could teleport to places I'd already been. At will.
 
Granted, but because space and time are one, you also travel through time and because of the nature of time, all you are doing is revisiting old memories and trapped in an endless cycle of nostalgia made physical.

I wish the Sahara desert became full of lush flora that could thrive in the area.
 
Granted, but you can't. You cannot choose your dreams because they embody your subconscious, that with which you do ont actively control.

I wish for a new mini-Ice Age
 
Granted. It’s cute. You keep it in your freezer.

I wish I could choose to enter any one of my roleplays on this site and act out a scene with my partner(s) for as long as I choose.
 
Granted, but then hackers shut down the site and when it's brought back up all the files are corrupted, leaving you stuck in an endless loop within that scene.

I wish I could travel to Mars (safely).
 
Granted, the issue is, they have an over protective sibling that doesn't trust you.

I wish we had cryostasis, because then we could go to sleep until Space exploration could be carried out efficiently.
 
Granted, but it costs money and it's prone to error. You could wake up with millions in debt and lost memory, becoming a bounty hunter searching for her past.

I wish for the ability to fly at double digit speeds.
 
Granted, but only one weapon at a time.

I wish everything got converted to renewable energy overnight
 
Granted. Unfortunately, 'everything' was taken extremely literally, we are all now a floating ball of energy about to restart the universe.

I wish editing wasn't so hard!
 
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