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Corrupt a Wish

*opens bag of chips*
*pours a two liter of coke inside*
*shakes it all up*
Here you go!

I wish I could daydream for hours in a comfy hammock on a warm day and have someone bring me food.
 
Granted, you can daydream for hours on a hammock, the food you will be bought are burnt sausages that were dropped in a puddle. Also while you're daydreaming in a hammock, you forget about that important family gathering and for the next 3 weeks everyone of your family will call you at the most inconvenient times to ask why you weren't there.

I wish I had a private aircraft carrier.
 
Soggy sausages aside, I’m perfectly happy to shut off my phone and keep daydreaming 😈

Granted! An aircraft carrier has been dropped off in your backyard. Unfortunately there are no suitable bodies of water nearby and no means of moving it to one. You need to rent a helicopter just to get to the deck, but they can’t land because it’s resting at a 45 degree tilt. And have I mentioned the taxes this is costing you?

I wish that I lived in a fun slice of life anime.
 
It's a fun slice of life anime that takes a dark turn in a later season to be a tentacle hentai due to declining ratings.

I wish that I could watch any movie or TV show I wanted for free.
 
Granted but at the same time, you gonna deaf and blind.

I wish for a kickass weapon that's also a gun.
 
Granted. Whenever you strike something with it, it shoots in a random direction.

I wish someone was making me blueberry pancakes for breakfast.
 
Granted. But you have developed a sudden severe allergy to blueberries.

I wish I had a time machine that works as intended
 
Granted! Anal taste buds become a huge phenomenon. People are able to disengage them at will and it leads to the improvement of worldwide hygiene standards. it spawns a hugely successful line of flavored condoms, plugs, dildos, and beads. The bidet and suppository industries boom. Those that get it describe their sex lives as 100x more fulfilling. It becomes a major status symbol. And yet, no matter how many times you snap your fingers, others receive this blessing, but never you.

I wish I could safely fly into space and have sex in zero G.
 
taffy_felice said:
Granted, but your partner can't survive in space.

I wish I could nail that cool TikTok Dance, you know, that one.
Click to expand...
Granted. Now the rest of your life is spent repeating that 15 second dance over and over and over and over and over and over and over and...

I wish I could dance in a ballet.
 
It’s an Amazon warehouse because Amazon owns everything now.

I wish I could preorder the Xbox Series X, the next generation console that releases in November 2020.
 
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You did pre-order them, and by mistake were sent prototype model of Xbox Series X that's buggy as fuck. Unfortunately Microsoft assumed that you stole prototype and got it through an unauthorized manner, and banned all your accounts, and prohibited you from buying any games, putting your identity and cards into blacklist, that they then shared with Nintendo and Sony.

I wish I had a cleaning robot!
 
Granted! You get to Mars and it’s fine, livable. Everything is red, but you can cope. Shortly after arriving you hear that they colonized Venus, and it’s this tropical paradise. All the best industries and extraterrestrial restaurants are drawn there. Life on Mars is functional and drab compared to Venus, but you spent all of your savings to get there and can’t get off planet.

I wish I could go on a cross country road trip.
 
Yep, a never-ending roleplay filled with wonderful one-liners replies.

I wish I could fight like Goro Majima.
 
Granted, but it refills so slow by the time it even halfway filled it'll have nasty stuff floating at the top. Also, it'll be a bitch to clean the cup.

I wish I could make dust vanish with a snap of my fingers.
 
Granted! But every time you do it you and those around you fall into a painful gasping fit as for some reason all the dust you inhaled suddenly vanishing wreaks havoc on your respiratory system. In good news, you can offset this for yourself by simply wearing a hardcore breathing mask for the rest of your life.

I wish I could make any body of water any temperature I chose so I could swim in it or use it as a Jacuzzi anytime I want.
 
(Brutally specific wishes, to the chagrin of many a genie; I dub thee, "Creative Sadist".)

Gina in Orange said:
Granted! But every time you do it you and those around you fall into a painful gasping fit as for some reason all the dust you inhaled suddenly vanishing wreaks havoc on your respiratory system. In good news, you can offset this for yourself by simply wearing a hardcore breathing mask for the rest of your life.

I wish I could make any body of water any temperature I chose so I could swim in it or use it as a Jacuzzi anytime I want.
Click to expand...

Granted. However, all affects are permanent, and raising the base temperature causes a 1:2 ratio of temperature to be adjusted in a sphere extruding 5-meters in any direction around(and above) the body of water; for 5 degrees raised in the water, 10 degrees leaves the surrounding area. This works similarly, yet in reverse, when dropping the temperature. Do what you will with your apocalypse-inducing superpowers.

I wish for an extra set of arms, and the ability to consciously manipulate all of my arms(and hands!) independently from one another.
 
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