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love is blind (moon/lady)

Kate smiled as he leaned into her hand, smiling as she got him to lay down so she could rub his back to. Tensing a little she frowned, looking confused as she studied the man. “But...I...I talked to you. You...told me you were....I...”She whimpered, so utterly confused and lost, she was crying herself. “I’m sorry....I don’t...understand...and now...I’m pregnant, and you wanted me...and I thought you didn’t so I...I don’t know...”She stuttered so very lost.
 
he twitched when she made him lay down but settled down again once all she did was rub his back, sighing softly. "...i haven't talked to you at all." Clint muttered, sitting up. "i just..." he paused, organizing his thoughts and then. "that day you talked to Phil. i was worried you weren't going to come back because you hated how much of a fucked up freak i was." he admitted. "you where just gone, and you didn't come back. i thought at first you'd just left, gone to Matt. i would have let you go, so you could be hapy but he showed up and said he hadn't seen you. then Tony realized the cameras where down all over the park and then all over the city. i knew right then that you'd been kidnapped so i started looking. only i couldn't find you anywhere and i was getting more and more upset until i couldn't think. i shattered Loki's nose once, and Phil kept trying to bring my down so i'd hit him, because i couldn't let anyone but you do that to me, because i had to be faithful. so you wouldn't hate me once we found you again." he admitted, looking at her. "what about you? what happened?"
 
Kate’s eyes went wide as she listened to him talking, swallowing thickly as she stared down. “I didn;t...”she paused looking utterly lost. “I...”She swallowed, talking a breath to gather her thoughts. “I went to go see matt for lunch...he had a big case, thought he could use a friendly face....on the way there, I was attacked. Grant saved me. Said the tower was under attack, and that you’d sent him to pick me up and get to a safehouse. So we did....and then I called you after awhile to see what we should do, and you said you were going to go back to phil...and you just got frustrated each time we talked...I mean..it wasn’t you...but...”She sighed softly.
 
he nodded. "he must have faked my voice." he mumbled. "why though? why make you think that... i just don't get it." he admitted, pressing his face into his knees before he scowled. "you where attacked?" he asked, startled. "by who!?" he shook his head. "no, never mind you probably don't remember." he mumbled. "in ay case if the Tower was ever attacked we certainly didn't notice." he admitted, reaching out and taking her hand. "you are real, right?" he asked her suddenly. "i'm not dreaming? or having delusions again?" he asked, biting his lip. "you are real?"
 
“I don’t know...I didn’t know...any of this before now.”she said sounding utterly lost gently resting a hand on his back, sighing quietly, nodding. “I was....and I don’t know. I just remember grant stepping in to stop it.”She shrugged a little before nodding, squeezing his hand. “Yes. I’m real. And I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
 
he nodded. "i figured not. it was several months ago." he admitted before nodding again. "okay... please don't leave me." he pleaded, wrapping his arms around her waist and falling into the first deep sleep he'd had in months. he was so out cold that when she got up he didn't even twitch. he hadn't noticed the tape recorder she'd had in her pocket, but it was laying on the floor as if taunting her.

"Kate. first of all i want to say i'm sorry. things weren't supposed to go this way. i was never supposed to fall in love with you, or at least, as much love as a ma like me can feel. when i first approached you, it was to get you away from the Avengers. my handler, John Garret wanted me to take you away, brainwash you into hating Clint and Phil so we could use you to tear apart the Avengers. it didn't work of course, we never took into account how loyal, forgiving and loving you where. i tried everything i could think of to turn you against them and nothing worked. i think it was when i realized you would never give up on Clint that i started to fall in love with you. you where so pure and gentle and soft. so i seduced you, thinking foolishly of only myself as i always did. it wasn't until i found out you where pregnant that i realized i couldn't do it anymore. i loved you too much. i couldn't lie anymore. i couldn't keep you trapped and locked up. so i called Clint. the real one this time, and told him that you where pregnant, and that if he showed up he could have you back, but only if he killed me first. i don't think i could bare to live without you. i've never had a purpose for living before, not until i fell in love with you. i know if you leave me for Clint i wouldn't be able to bare it. death would be so much better. maybe i'm still being selfish, but i know Clint will take care of you and love the baby as if it was his own. i love you Kate. don't be mad at them for my death. live on. and please, don't name the baby after me okay? Grant is a horrible name. i love you. i'm sorry. goodbye." and with a click Grant's voice was gone.
 
“I’m not going anywhere.”Kate muttered settling down next to him, sighing softly as she stared at the tape recorder, biting her lip as she picked it up, and let it play. Eyes brimming with tears by the end, she looked utterly lost. Shifting to get comfortable with clint, she shuddered as she went to sleep. She’d deal with everything else later, simply needing to be with clint.

When clint stirred, kate whimpered as he moved, shifting, snuggling closer as she wrapped a arm around his waist, making small distressed sounds, her own nightmares keeping her from resting as peacefully as she usually did.
 
Clint gently reached over and shook her shoulder when he heard her whimpering. "Kate? Kate you have to wake up now." he ordered, looking up when Loki knocked on the door, tray of steaming food in his hands. "good morning. is it okay if i come in?" "yeah. i guess." Clint agreed before turning his attention back to Kate, stroking her hair and gently untangling it with nimble fingers. "and... where's Grant?" "currently sulking because we won't kill him like he wanted. he's not refusing food though so that's a good thing. he's eating an Omelet for now until we decide what to do with him." Loki admitted. "we can't figure him out at all." he sighed, running his hand through his hair. "he says he was just using her but he wouldn't have brought her back if that was true." Loki admitted, shaking his head. "i just don't know."
 
Kate whined quietly, stirring as clint shook her a little, blinking slowly as she looked up at him. “...hey loki...”She muttered stirring, sighing quietly as clint stroked her hair, swallowing thickly, sitting up slowly. Reaching for the tape recorder, and holding it out for clint. “He gave me that before we left the house....told me to listen to it. You should listen to it...maybe this will make sense to you if you do..."
 
Loki smiled at her. "hey Kate. it's so good to have you back." he admitted before blinking at the recorder. Clint hesitated and then rewound it and pressed play, listening to the recording, closing his eyes. Loki nodding. "yes. his actions make more sense now." Loki agreed. "we still don't know what to do with him though." he admitted with a sigh. "Phil and Tony are reluctant to pass him over to shield, though i'll be mentioning that handler to Phil." Loki admitted, looking at Kate. "what do you want to do with him?" he asked her. "i can guess you don't want him dead and Phil is unwilling to punish him too much... considering what we found in his past..." Loki admitted. "i don't like to delve into people's minds." he admitted. "in this case, i thought it would tell us if he was evil or not... all i found was a very badly abused child and a man named John Garret." Loki admitted, Clint wincing. "that's it!? nothing else?" "no. nothing." "well fuck, now i feel a little bit bad for him. not too much mind you, but a little bit." "i'm glad your feeling better Clint." "a little bit. i'm still...." he shook his head. "i'm under control now though, so that's what matters."
 
“Hey loki.”Kate smiled at him a little, before nodding. “IT does...though...I still don’t understand. I mean...I know he seemed...off, but I hadn’t realized he’d been this off.”She sighed softly, running a hand through her hair, hating that she was still feeling so unsteady. “No, don’t kill him...even if...I was angry...I am carrying his child...he should get to meet them...”She sighed sighing quietly, before frowning, wincing at the idea of what grant had gone through. “Damn....Phil’ll take care of garret.”She muttered well aware that phil took betrayal hard and would want to deal with john garret personally. “...I don’t know what to do clint...I mean...we should give him a chance...to have a life besides abuse and garret, right?”
 
Loki sighed a little. "i didn't stay in his mind for very long. it can cause damage to a person's mind if done too often or too long." he admitted. "i got enough knowledge from him to know he has no personality of his own, not really. he just becomes whatever kind of person Garret needs him to be. he was probably working on Garrets orders to kidnap and turn you, only you where brighter than Garret's orders where and his emotions rose up to override his 'obey commands' personality. if you can call it a personality anyway." Loki admitted with a huff. "we won't kill him." Clint promised her before sighing. "i want to get a professional in here." he decided. "someone who can tell us without a doubt if Grant is worth rehabilitation. if he is, we'll try our best. if he's not? well... we'll have to hand him over and send him to prison. or keep him here in the prison cells." he decided. "but we won't hurt him. i get the feeling he's been tortured enough." Clint admitted, sulking. "and i really wanted to hate him too." he huffed, sulking.
 
Kate frowned looking upset that grant had been hurt like that. Swallowing hard as she sighed running her hands through her hair as she considered the man."good That you sent phil after garret. He'll make sure the man pays for this."he growled softly pained.hating that he had been so hurt."...I'm sure tony or pepper would have a good suggestion on who to bring in...I mean...its a weird situation but there has to be someone to talk to..."Kaye sighed softly nodding. Looking deeated at the idea of grant being locked away but knowing it in the long run might be the best option. They'd just have to see.
 
Loki nodded. "Phil wouldn't let anyone else do it. from what i understand Garret took advantage of Grant and nearly brainwashed Grant when he was a boy, making him loyal only to Garret." he admitted. "by the way, his team is here. apparently Grant was supposed to have been on that team but he went missing before he had gathered everyone together." Loki admitted. "the girl, Skye. she's the other who has Kree in her, though her's is Genetic, which is why she's not having the same problems that Phil is." here Loki sighed. "and he's nearly developed a dependency on the tea i make him, i've had to cut him back to two cups." he admitted, running a hand through his hair again. something he did when he was stressed. "i'll talk to Pepper. i know she has a good eye on things like that." Loki agreed. "i want you to know. even if we do have to contain Grant, he won't be mistreated." he promised her. "and he won't be kept in solitary either, people will be allowed to visit him." he promised. "we won't abuse him anymore, he's too dangerous to let roam free, but that's not really his fault." he admitted. "we're going to do our best for him. Phil insisted." Loki admitted with a smile. "well, you two get some more rest and i'll talk to Pepper about getting a mind healer in here for Grant."
 
“that’s insane....garret’s insane...”Kate cringed, making a face and annoyed at the idea that someone she had cared for, had been so badly treated by someone he trusted. “really?Good. I’m glad you guys got everyone settled...”She sighed quietly, hating she’d missed so much, leaning into clint, snuggling before nodding. “She does.”she muttered before eyes tearing a little, looking relieved that she wouldn’t have to worry about how grant was treated. “Okay. Good.Thank you...for that. For trying our best.”She said with a slight smile, shifting to snuggle in for a nap
 
"no. Garret is disgusting." Clint corrected. "he took a kid who had been so abused by his family that he tried to beat his own brother to death, and turned him into a murdering monster." Clint said softly. "i'm sure there's hope for him." he admitted. "it's going to take him a long time to have anything resembling normalcy though." "of course we'll try our best. Grant's not a monster. sure he kidnapped you, but he treated you very well and he didn't rape you like he could have. h didn't hit you or lock you up or starve you or torture you, so i think he can be redeemed." Clint admitted, holding her. "and if he can be redeemed..." here he hesitated and then. "well, he should have a part int he babies life too, right?" he asked, smiling at her.
 
“Yes that to.”Kate sighed softly, shuddering, swallowing thickly as she considered exactly what grant had gone through.”We’ll simply be here, for however long it takes.”She swallowed hard, before nodding. “He didn’t...he took care of me. Made sure I was well looked after instead of just turning me over to Garret.”She sighed quietly before nodding, “Yes....I’m glad... You see it like that. I didn’t like the idea of not letting him be involved, if he really is redeemable...”
 
Clint nodded. "we won't make you stay away from him either. i don't... really like the idea, but... but if you love him, then i swear we'll make room in our loves for him, okay?" he asked her. "i just... i need you. i love you and i... i don't think i could bare it if i had to make you choose between us." he admitted. "so if you want, i'd be more than happy to let you have a relationship with him too. who knows? maybe i'll like him after all." Clint admitted with a smile. "come on... you didn't get enough sleep. you need more rest." never mind that he was the one nearly collapsing from exhaustion.

Grant was poking at the food in front of him, rather uncertain if it was actually edible. he'd never had raw food before but the man, Loki? said that it was all perfectly healthy and very good. Grant wasn't sure he trusted that assessment. after all, the man wasn't human, who knew what would happen if Grant ate this weird slice of red.... well it wasn't meat but it had the same color to it as uncooked red meat. at least the little purple carrots had been good. how was he to know that Loki cooked Asgardian food once a week to 'educate the heathens' of the Tower? he looked up when the door opened. "this is him. Grant Ward." Loki explained before blinking at the plate. "are you not hungry Grant? oh, this is your psychologist. Dr. Morgan St. Clair. she'll be assessing you today." "assessing? i hate tests." Grant grumbled.
 
“...well. I...I like him, I care for him, but I love you. I need you.”She muttered pressing her face into his shoulder, snuggling close. “We’ll just take it day to day. I don’t know what I want...and we both need more rest.”She agreed, sighing quietly as she went to sleep.

“Hello. And it’s not a test. More like seeing how you are doing. And seeing if it’s safe to let you live here with the avengers, and Kate.”Morgan tilted her head a little as she looked at the man, settling in a chair across from grant.”how you doing today?”
 
he nodded. "i know you like him." he admitted with a smile. "how could you not after all the time you spent with him?" he asked shaking his head. "okay." he agreed. "day by day sounds just fine." he admitted, snuggling her and letting himself sink into sleep. blissful, nightmare free sleep.

"oh." he blinked at her before scoffing. "of course it's not safe." he chastised. "i'm a murdering psychopath who kidnapped her to turn her into a weapon against you. it's not my fault i failed." he huffed. "she's just too stubborn." he complained before blinking at her. "uh... what?" he asked, confused. no one had ever asked him how he was doing before. they'd asked if he was okay if he looked hurt or sick but no one had ever actually cared enough to see how he was doing otherwise. "i'm... bored?" he guessed. "and this food is weird so i'm hungry too... and..." he puased. "i guess that's it. are you sure this isn't a test?"
 
“Well, you are. But I don’t think that’s all of you. We’re going to find out just what you can be, now that you’re here, with us. Instead of with hydra.”Morgan studied him before smiling. “How are you doing?”she smiled a little, before laughing. “I’ll see about getting you some entertainment then.And is it any good?”She said studying the food. “It's sorta a test, but its not pass or fail. it's just to see how you are."
 
he shrugged. "that's all i need to be." he stated simply. "besides, i was never with Hydra, or Shield." he admitted. "i just went where Garret wanted me to go." he explained before blinking at her. "it's... i don't know i'm scared to try it." he admitted. "the purple carrots taste okay but they make my mouth feel... odd." he admitted. "i'm not sure this is safe to eat." he admitted, staring at the weird foods. "i don't like taking tests." he admitted. "but, i guess it's okay if i can't fail. or pass." he admitted. "i'm not sure if i'd get in trouble for it here." he admitted, poking at a slice of what looked like thin, transparent fish. he'd never cared much for Sushi really. and he had the feeling it wasn't fish either. "...you want it?" he offered her, indicating the entire tray. hey, if she'd eat it without getting sick then he could try the weird food next time.
 
“Do you always do whatever Garret wanted you to do?”She said studying him before sighing quietly. “It does look a little odd.”She agreed before nodding. “Not pass and fail I promise. I’m just trying to see if the others, and kate, are safe. I mean...they, we need to know if you can enjoy life here.”She said knowing she wasn’t explaining well, but hoping he knew they were trying to help. “I’ll try it.”She said looking a little freaked out at the food but taking it, and starting to nibble on it just to taste it.
 
he nodded. "yes. i'm not smart enough to decide things, so he does the thinking for me. he's always done whats best for me." he admitted with a small smile. "he's the first person to ever be nice to me, and look after me. i'd do anything for him.." he paused, faltering. "only, i couldn't do this last one for him. i couldn't make Kate hate anyone... i guess i'll always be a failure." he admitted before shaking his head. "you all really should have killed me. it would have been so much easier. eventually, i'll get the order, and i'll kill everyone in this building. killing is something i'm good at." he admitted. "Killing is something i can always do, no matter what." he admitted. "besides, life isn't for enjoying." he scoffed. "my life is for Garret." he paused, hesitating. "and Kate..." he decided before watching her closely. the strips of meat like vegetables tasted almost like Salmon mixed with fresh mint, and the carrots tasted... tingly. the slices of 'fish' tasted like something earthy like mushrooms. he watched her reaction intently but didn't reach for the plate at all.
 
“...No he hasn’t. This kidnapping Kate, wasn’t the best thing, you had to know that. You knew the avengers wouldn’t be happy.”She pointed out before smiling softly.”No she can’t. She’s worried about you.”Morgan said studying the man before shaking her head. “No you wont. One of the conditions for your release, if we decide you’re okay to leave this room, is you get to wear stark created handcuffs. It’ll keep you from hurting anyone.”Morgan sighed quietly, wincing. “Was being with kate, for enjoyment?I’m sure garret hadn’t wanted you to seduce her.”She pointed out making a face before shrugging. “It’s not bad...weird, my mouth kinda makes my mouth tingle,but not horrible.”
 
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