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Hawksong(moon/lady)

“I’m sure Tony has enough friends from getting arrested himself, to get you out for driving without a permit.”She muttered smiling a little, fingers closing around his.Swallowing hard before nodding.”Yea I’m sure.”She swallowed getting out of the car, holding his hand before walking towards the door. Pausing to open it she stepped inside, shuddering a little. “…My mother loved this entranceway…it was big enough that we could dance, without worrying about knocking anything over. She was beautiful hawk, she was always so graceful.”She said, more to herself, then to him as she looked around her with wide eyes, wide eyes that weren’t seeing him or the cleaned home that smelled of dust and the past, but of a world drenched in blood. What no one had realized, what no one had known, was it had been Catalina to call the police, the ten year old having escaped the shed after hours and hours of not hearing anything, had walked through the house looking for her mama, had tried to put together that butchered body, tried to save her brothers, and only when she’d failed, had she gone to seek help

Moving away from him she dropped his hand as she walked through the house, not seeing it as it was now,but as the house she’d had when she was happy. Pausing outside her father’s study she shook harder, trembling so hard that she had to shove her hands in her pockets to keep her hands from shaking. “He terrified me. He was always so big…so strong and scary when he was angry. And he was always angry..”she muttered as she leaned against the doorframe and stared inside, looking into a private nightmare and sharing with the only person she'd ever trusted enough to tell.
 
Clint followed her inside, looking around the entryway, imagining Catalina and a little girl in here, dancing away, beautiful and graceful... her eyes, her hair, but with his nose and chin and that infuriating cowlick in the back where the hair swirled the wrong way... he wanted to smack himself for thinking that when she was in such obvious pain. he set his hands on her shoulders as she shook, silently comforting her, silently offering her the strength she needed. "...what happened to him?" he asked softly. because she had told him what happened to her Mama and brothers, she hadn't told him the fate of her father. "sometimes, a man simply isn't healthy." he admitted, tapping his own head. "sometimes a man needs help, and he doesn't get the help he needs..." because he knew she didn't want to beleive that her papa had hated her. she didn't want to think that he had hated them all. "are there pictures? i would like to meet your mama and brothers."
 
Catalina started a little as he touched her, shifting to lean into his chest, turning enough to wrap a arm around his waist, burying her face against his chest as she held onto him. Swallowing hard as she shuddered. “…he’s alive. A permanent resident of Bellevue psych ward in the city….he asks to see me every once in awhile.”She muttered not needing to add that she’d never gone, never confronted the man who’d destroyed any chance she had had of being normal. “Of course. Mama was picture obsessed.”She said laughing quietly as she pulled away from him and heading down the hall, swinging into her parents bedroom, a room that despite having been here since the murders, she hadn’t changed anything. Most of the house looked like days, not years had past since someone had lived here. Returning to his side in a few minutes she carried a few photo albums. “Come on. We’ll go to my room. I actually put in a regular sized bed in there.”She said smiling a little as she headed for the attic bedroom, “My brothers were so jealous I got this room, but mama wanted me to have room to dance if I wanted to.”She said grinning a little as she climbed up the ladder, crouching down a little as to not hit the ceiling. “I don’t remember the ceiling being this low last time.”She muttered, though then again, she’d been a lot shorter last time she’d stayed her. Settling down onto the bed she held out the photo books for him, sighing softly as she looked at the pictures with him.

Pictures of a woman who looked remarkably like catalina, the same willowy grace without a warrior’s build, twin boys who even in pictures were as reckless and as daring as tony was. Of a serious man who looked at his family with love, even in pictures, how much had changed in the years that followed those pictures. Leaning into him a little she smiled as they looked through the pictures, for the first time really grieving the family she had lost instead of just shoving it away. No wonder they got along so well, neither of them had ever learned to grieve, or how to connect with people. While clint had never had the chance, catalina had shut down after the horror. was it really any wonder they were dependant on each other?
 
he held her, gently rubbing her back, wondering if it might have helped him to do something like this... probobly not, especially considering he'd burned his house and half the street down after killing his mother and the bastard who had tried to buy him. "oh, i see.." he muttered softly, he wondered if he shouldn't kill the man before dismissing the idea. he was fine where he was, he couldn't hurt Cat anymore. "ah yes, brotherly love." he chuckled. "they would have wanted to share a room anyway right? being twins and all." he mused, yelping as he smacked his head on the ceiling. "ow!" he complained, rubbing his forehead. "a warning would have been nice." he complained with a sulk as he shook his head and settled down next to her, studying the pictures. "your mama was beautiful." he admitted with a smile, touching a tiny little Catalina. "you where adorable, all chubby faced and nimble footed." he teased with a smile, wondering if he had any child photos? probobly not, and even if his mother had... they would have been burned. "your brothers where mischievous to a fault... how in the world did they end up blue?" he asked, examining a picture where two sheepish little boys, baby blue from head to toe where smiling sheepishly. "oh look how cute!" he muttered, pointing to a picture of Catalina, still in diapers, practically swimming in a birthday cake because she had been left unattended in her high chair for a moment too long. "you where almost as bad as your brothers i see."
 
"Probably. Though sometimes I wondered how much they could have loved each other since they were always arguing."she said giggling a little az he smacked his head,glancing towards the cieling where her head barely brusjed it."I didn't think about it. Sorry."she muttered blushing a little as she looked up at him before drawing his head down to press a kiss to the abused skin,"better?"she asked smiling a little treating him like a little kid who'd hit their head,houh the blush said she was embarassed at getting her lips anywhere near his skin, as it made her think of other things.smiling a little she nodded."she was. I can't look in the mirror without seeing her.."she muttered before laughing."they decided the best way to belp papa paint the house was to do a whole body effort."she giggled before flushing as she looked at herself in the cake."I was better then them I just liked playing with my food."she muttered smiling as she shifted leaning back into the headboard, using his chest as a place to rest. For the first time since returning the house, truly relaxing.
 
Hawkeye went bright red at the kiss to his forehead, stunned that she'd kissed him. it felt, really nice actually. he looked through the pictures, watching as the happy father and husband started to regress into a jealous possessive sickly man in the pictures. yet somehow, the woman and three children where still always smiling and laughing and Happy. he teased Catalina about how adorable she was, even at ten years old and had to snicker at her footie pajamas in the shape of a teddy bear. "hmm, why are most of these pictures of you, covered in food?" he asked, looking amused. "look, your wearing your spaghetti bowl as a hat." he teased, having flipped back to the beginning before he reached the end of the book, not wanting to see how it ended, the last pictures taken before everyone died. "either you hated food, or you really liked bathes." he teased, falling asleep next to her, humming softly. "your just as beautiful as your mother was." he admitted softly. "i can see the resemblance... hmm i'm tired..."
 
"Hey!I love food. At least more then you do."she sputtered,o distracted by his teasing that she didn't even realize he'd switched back to the beginning before they'd gotten to the last pictures. Yaening she smiled as she snuggled down into him,"me to."she muttered smiling as she drifted off to sleep blushing and confused at him calling her brautiful,wondering just what was going through his head.

In the morning catalina smed as she watched him sleep for a minute,resting the tray of food on her knees, bouncing a little on the bed to wake him up a bit. Having learned better then to simply startle him awake without some warning she was there. They both woke deadly, it was safer for everyone if they were aware of who was near when asleep. Reaching out she gently brushed his hair with her fingers,her expression sad. No matter how much she loved him(and she could admit that to herself,even if she coulsnt say it to him,) she wasn't sure if she'd ever be more then his best friend, or if she could trust him enough to even try. Having learned that even the best relationships could have deadly consequences from watching her parents, and even trusting clint as much as she did, she had a hard to wanting to be in a relationship...even if she desperately wanted him....oh yes, catalina was just a mess of emotions, the fears so much closer after spending the night in this house,though it hadn't been as horrible as she had thouht with him there. It seemed he could keep even the worst dreams away.

"Haek?time for breakfast."she muttered smiling as she shifted to get comfortable in the bed, nibbling on the bacon and eggs.
 
he groaned in the morning as she bounced, letting her know that he was now aware of her presence. "uuuhng, g'way." he ordered sluggishly as she stroked his hair. "w'nna sleep." he ordered rolling onto his side and curled around her, nuzzling her because he was sleepy and rather content to be waking up next to her. "hmmm." he mumbled. "i smell food." he muttered, sitting up slowly and squinting at her, half asleep and confused. "...this isn't the nest..." he muttered, baffled. "did we get kidnapped?" he asked, racking his brain in an attempt to remember the night before. "oh... right... i remember, never mind..." he muttered, scrubbing his face. "guh what time is it?" he asked, blinking at her. "are you alright?" he asked, stroking a hand down her arm. "do you want to share my therapist? she's really fun to scream at." he admitted with a small smile, trying to comfort her.
 
Catalina laughed quietly as he curled up around her, nibbling on a piece of bacon."yes. Yes we got kidnapped."she teased the sleepy man ignoring the order to go away because the one time she had,he'd been up out of bed within minutes to track her down. Adorable as it was amusing that had been."its nearly ten..nearly time go back so you can yell at your therapist again."she smiled slightly shibering as he rubbed her arm,blushing ever so slightly as her mind took a detour into the gutter and imagined how amazing his hands would elsewhere. She discovered, painfully and arousingly that the more he trained her senses to the world around her, the more touch sensitive she got. Especially with the man she had come to love. Looking thouhful she bit her lip nodding."you know what, I think I might take you up on that."he said needing to know if she could be normal enough to have a relationship , to be able trust clint enough to try..even if she didn't believe he wanted her like that,espite the kiss,espite him never having slept with natasha, she was still confused over their weird little relationship....and she needed help figuring that out. But at least she was self aware enough to know she needed help."eat, then we'll head back."she said smiling as she held out a piece of bacon towards him.
 
he huffed a little and shook his head. "we did not." he grumbled, shaking his head a little. "ugh... i do not like her." he complained, scowling. "she's too happy. and she's more boobs then brain." he grumbled. "i hate happy people." he grumbled. "and i hate stupid people. and i hate her. can't i get a new one?" he complained as he stole her plate and started eating her bacon, too sleepy to realize he had his own plate. "yeah?" he asked with a grin, imagining Cat beating down on Jessica. it was slightly erotic. "well i ate." he stated, scowling as he realized there was no coffee and shot her a sulk. "must you torment me? i'll make you run extra for this." he grumbled as he finished off his... or rather, her breakfast and let her drive him back home, demanding she stop at a Starbucks on the way so he could get his caffeine intake. he even paid for her to have her nasty tea, or was it orange juice?
 
"No. I like her. Though we will have to keep tony away from her."she mused thinking about it,ot even scolding him for stealing her plate,simply starting to eat his. "Therea no coffee in the house. I shouldn't be punished for that."she whined but did stop without complaining to get him his drink and her orange juice. She knew better then to deny him caffeine first thing in the morning.

By the time they got to the tower she was actually nervous, standing closer to clint then she usually did, seeking the comfort of knowing that he was right there, snd that if anything came at her, they'd have to go through him first."morning jessica."she said smiling at the therapist nudging clint."go on. Go beat up your furniture for the day, then its my turn to talk to her."she said collapsing back onto the couch with a smile,knowing the woman had offered to talk to her but knowing jessica was probably surprised she'd taken her up on it so soon. But having stayed up most of the night to watch clint sleep,d look around her old home, she knew she needed help, even if she wasn't ready for it.
 
Clint sighed a little as he sulked, not wanting to talk to Jessica... not at all. but she knew better than to make such off color comments about Natasha this time at least. "i will beat up the furniture!" he complained, narrowing his eyes at her before sniffing, gulping down the last of his third cup of coffee and headed into the room with Jessica, muttering unhappily as the Blond smiled at him, as happy and chirpy as ever. "...i really hate you." "well that's better than what most people say." she admitted happily before looking at Cat, surprised before she nodded. "i'll see you in a little bit." she promised before following the grumbling Clint into the room. an hour later, a grumbling Clint walked out, looking angry and grouchy and hurt, but at least he wasn't destroying things. he flopped down onto the couch, crossed his arms, and sulked. Jessica just smiled at him, a blindingly happy smile that made him scowl and motioned for Cat to join her in the room. "are you sure your ready to talk?" Jessica asked, her head tilted. "i won't make you, you understand that right?"
 
"Just think hawk,if your lucky,ou might to get to see a girl on girl fight."catalina muttered to her techer smirking as she pushed up off the couch and followed jessica into the room looking around as she sat down in one of the chairs."I know. But hes less likely to punish me for making him come if I'm doing it to...and well.."she sighed frowning as she stared doen at her hands."I have my own problems...figured I'd better set a good examplr and get help...."she sihed struggling to come up with a way to start,before her mouth started talking before her mind had decided what to say"I've never had sex. Never trusted anyone to get that close...hell or even kisses."she blurted flushing embarrassed.
 
there was a pause and then Clint smirked, his eyes glazing over just as a man was prone to when 'girl on girl' anything was mentioned... "...why are men such perverts, do you wonder?" Jessica asked, highly amused. "and he's still going to punish you, but at least he didn't break anything today." she admitted happily. "everyone has problems, some are just worse than others." she admitted with a smile as she took a drink of her water before promptly choking on it, sputtering in shock as Cat just blurted that out. "oh... i see." she muttered, astonished as she stared at the woman. "well, that doesn't surprise me much, though it's a bit of a shock you where so blunt about it." she admitted with a small chuckle. "from what i know, and it's very little, Fury doesn't have much of a file on you... he hasn't tried looking too deep either." she admitted. "you bore witness to the deepest sort of betrayal, trust would be very hard to come by." Jessica admitted, studying her. "you trust Clint though, don't you. that's why you want to talk now. you have feelings for him."
 
Catalina winced rubbing a hand over her eyes."orry...it seems spending time with tony has made me blunt."she said blushing because the woman hadn't meant for it to come out like that,but now that she'd said it she was relaxing. Tilting her had a little ahe wondered at fury's willingness to not look into her past before blushing more at jessica' words fidgetting a little."...I trust him to not kill me in my sleep,even if I touch his cards."she sighed softly."...it scares me...how very much I want to trust him enough to do...that."she muttered looking anywhere but jessica.not wanting to see the other womans reaction
 
Jessica snorted. "oh yes... him." she made a face. "i went to see him, to make sure he really was alright with Clint staying here... he flirted with me the entire time and i damn near beat him up again." she admitted with a small smile. "you poor child." she muttered after a moment. "does my opinion even truly matter to you?" she asked with amusement. "you and Clint, trust each other very much. so much so that you can share a bed and sleep, despite your issues. why would you not have feelings for him? of course you are afraid, you have seen first hand what love can do to a person. and you are seeing it again in Clint. you are frightened because you know he could take ever single part of you and lock it away if he wanted to... but the opposite is also true. he could take every single part of you, and nurture it until it blooms and grows into a beautiful woman, full of joy and confidence..." she admitted. "the thing that holds us back the most is fear... will he reject me? will he hurt me?... but tell me, what is worse, fear? or the regret of never knowing what he might have said. regret of never knowing how happy he might have made you? if you love him, try, because trying can lead to some of the most wonderful times in our life, even if we fail."
 
“I wish I could say that it was the pain medication that made him that outrageous, but I really cant. Tony’s a flirt.”She snorted looking amused before looking at the woman, frowning slightly. “Not really, no.”She mused before sighing quietly, listening to the other woman as she fussed with one of the throwing knives she’d had in a pocket, much like clint, she was always armed, and had them hidden away, and played with them when she was nervous. “….so your saying just go out there and pounce on him, and hope that he’s okay with it?”she said fidgeting because it scared her badly to think about going out there, and trying to be near clint like that. Running her fingers through her hair she sighed softly, before getting up. “I gotta go. I’m hungry.”She said wanting to end this conversation, needing to get out because the woman was feeling like she was suffocating under the need to do just what she’d said and go kiss the man
 
Jessica snorted and shook her head. "someone needs to pump hormonal controlling drugs into that man." she muttered before bursting into laughter. "good heavens NO!" she promised, giggling. "for one thing, he'd probobly think you where attacking him, and for another, that wouldn't be very good for trust." she pointed out. "no. i think you need to start a bit more gently than that." she admitted. "start with simply admitting your feelings to yourself, and then talk to me again after that." she stated with a smile. "you two, could very easily learn to trust each other very much. and because you are so shy of trust, you will never break that trust. "once you can admit your feelings to yourself, then try admitting your feelings to him, ok? go slow, be gentle, don't frighten yourself or him, alright?" she was finding it very hard not to laugh, how could Cat know that Clint had asked most of the same questions?
 
“Well..thats true. Though I’d probably get some training in. He’d probably make me run for hours, or work on the bow.”She said sulking a little before sighing softly, biting her lip.”Okay…I can do that.”She said looking worried with the idea, but she could work on this. She could. “I’ll see you tomorrow, jess.”She muttered before walking out.

“So, what are we doing today?I mean, we could go work on using those new bows tony got us last month. We haven’t had a chance to use them a lot.”She said smiling a little shyly at the man in front of her, needing to focus on something normal. And their normal, was so not normal for others. No wonder they were having problems figuring out how to act, they considered a lot of abnormal things, every day occurances. "Or..whatever. I don't care."She said fidgeting because the admittance, or at least opening herself to the idea that she was already in love with the man, was making her a little nuts and nervous.
 
Jessica smiled a little. "you can't deny you don't enjoy the running." she teased with a grin. "it's exhausting, but it's still fun." she teased with a chuckle. "see you tomorrow."

"hmm... i don't know if i like the bows Tony got us..." Clint admitted. "...the man is a nice guy, and he's brilliant, but he doesn't know shit about weapons." he admitted with a grin. "lets go get them and see if they are good quality, or if he got scammed again." it was amusingly funny how many times Tony got scammed on such simple things. "Tony has a firing range, we can test them down there... where are they anyway?" he asked curiously, his head cocked to the side as he tried to remember. "well, you go get them." he decided. "because i don't know what the hell happened to them." he admitted with a shake of his head. "i think i'm old..."
 
“He doesn’t, but it’s the thought that counts. He tries so hard to choose good weapons.”She snickered because tony really did, but if it wasn’t attached to his iron man suit, tony was completely useless with weapons. He was brilliant, but it was so amusingly cute that tony got scammed. “They’re up in the nest. I’ll run and get them, you head on down.”She said before laughing, smirking at him.”You are definitely old, old man. Soon enough I’m going to have to buy hair dye to hide the grey.”She teased bumping shoulders with him before running upstairs to get the bows before heading downstairs with him.

“They’re not something we’d use in the field, but they’re gifts. I mean, who in the world uses a hawkwood longbow in everyday life?I mean, besides us, but they’re not practical to take on missions, but damned if they’re not pretty.”Catalina talked-pretty much rambled as she hefted the bow in her hands,talking because she was feeling weird, and trying to find her way back to normal. And well, it was normal for her to ramble about weapons, to the one man who talked about them as much as she did. “I think he was just trying to do something nice...and make fun of your callsign at the same time, hawk…now we’ll see if we can actually hit something with them.”she said raising the longbow as she cocked a arrow, the bow was nearly as tall as she was, but it was a beautiful bow, nestled into her hands as she aimed carefully and fired. Grinning as she hit the outside of a target. “So maybe he didn’t g et scammed this time.They’re not bad.”
 
Clint chuckled a little and nodded. "he does try hard, i'll agree." Clint admitted with a smile, looking hesitant. "do you think he's mad at me? Tony i mean... i should buy him something nice... maybe a porno mag or something?" he asked, his head tilted a little, wicked laughter dancing through his eyes. "good, at least they won't get ruined on the off chance he got something good." he admitted with a small chuckle. "oh! those ARE pretty." he admitted happily, stroking his bow with a small smile. "Tony didn't do too bad this time." he admitted. "oh, remind me to get you your new compound tension bow. state of the art, new technology made by Shields best." he admitted with a smirk. "namely, me." he admitted. "i left it in Shield though so you'll have to get it. i'm 'compromised' so i can't go and get it myself." he admitted with a shake of his head. "Tony's not clever enough to know that this is a Hawkwood Longbow, let alone that he could be making a pun out of it." he admitted with a small snicker as he raised his own Bow, measured to his height and drew back an arrow and hit the dead center of the target. "you still need practice." he teased with a small chuckle.
 
“I think he’s pissed that he got beat up over something as silly as a kiss. He kisses everyone.probably more embarrassed he got his ass kicked.”She pointed out, not realizing that his strong reaction had been because it was her tony was kissing, not just because tony was hitting on a drunk woman, figuring clint would have defended any woman with a drunk tony. “Oh, you could get him a porno. Maybe try talking to him?See what he wants.”She shrugged before smiling as she watched him stroke the bow.

“Ohhh, now there’s the ego. You told me once you weren’t the best shield had to offer.”She teased though she looked pleased and happy with the idea that he had designed a bow for her. Because she had a feeling the bow was similar to his own, but built lighter and easier for a woman who no matter how hard she tried, how much she had, wasn’t going to be as strong as him in pulling a bowstring back. “I’ll have to go tonight and get it when I go for dance class.”She mused before snickering, “No, but pepper is, and I bet you ten bucks he asked her advice on what kind of bow to get.”She pointed out before pouting a little.

Biting her lip a little as she considered it, remembering what she had seen in a few movies and well…maybe that could work? At least make him think about it? “Help me then?Its a new bow, need help adjusting to it.”She said holding it up, purposefully a little off in her stance and draw, but not enough to be obvious that she had done it on purpose. Having every intention of doing some flirting....no matter how awkward the woman was about it. It was so awkward it was fairly adorable.
 
Clint snorted. "it wasn't a fuckin 'silly' kiss... i told him not to flirt with you, he knew i was emotionally unstable... idiot..." he growled, mumbling under his breath now, highly unhappy. knowing what he knew about her, had Tony gotten her in bed and fucked her, she might very well have never recovered. "he'll want a hooker, and i'm not buying him that..." there was a pause. "actually that's not a bad idea, i'll get him a male stripper. an old wrinkly one." he decided with a nod. "besides, he should have known i could, and would kick his ass... it's not the first time i've done it." he pointed out. "granted... i've never actually tried to KILL him, but.. well that's not the point..." Clint grumbled unhappily. "and i've always had the Ego, i just didn't want to like you at first." he admitted sheepishly. "The Therapist says i have to start being honest about shit, so honestly, i was trying to make sure you never liked me... i don't think it worked." he admitted with a shake of his head.

"honestly though, i'm not the best Shield has to offer. Director Fury is. he still kicks my ass on a regular basis... the old bastard." he grumbled, surprisingly affectionate towards the old one eyed man. granted, Fury had taught Hawkeye himself, the old bastard was probobly the closest thing to a father that Clint had... and wasn't that a traumatizing thought? "...shit, i forgot about Pepper." he admitted, shaking his head. "you're right, she probobly helped him... i hate her now." Clint stated, laughter in his voice before he paused and blinked at her. "...er, yeah alright." he agreed, blushing a little as he moved over to her, using his feet to properly position hers with soft, careful little nudges before he took her arms in his. "you have to hold yourself steady, remain firm but fluid, like a tree. pull back, use this fingers to guide..." he paused, swallowing thickly as he realized his mouth was next to hers, cursed himself and leaned in for the kiss, connecting his lips to hers because he was terrible at controlling himself.
 
“I never said he wasn’t a idiot, just that he was unhappy about getting beat up over a kiss.”She muttered before snickering, “I like it. You should make sure he gets a lap dance to.”she decided looking amused before laughing, tilting her head. “I don’t think it did. Though, if you let everyone you didn’t want to like you, the nest is going to get crowded.”She mused before shuddering a little. “It disturbs me when you talk about him like that. Traumatizing thought for him to be a father.”she whined a little but looking amused at the thought."You cant hate her when yo ulove the bow. Admit it, she did well."She teased laughing before growing serious.

“Its easier to just show me, then try to explain.”She muttered flushing a little as he nudged her feet apart, holding the bow up, her arm trembling a little with the effort to draw the bowstring back, even though she had trained, a hawkwood bow didn’t have the convenience of a modern recoil bow, which was a little easier to draw, a hawkwood was pure muscle to draw it back. Startling as he kissed her, tilting her head up to kiss him back before yelping, jerking back as her fingers loosened on the bow string, a soft pained whimper escaping as she stepped back from him, rubbing the side of her breast, having nailed herself in the boob with a bowstring. While it hadn’t been something he had to consider with Natasha, since she both didn’t have the ample chest catalina did, and preferred guns over bows, so he had never had to consider warning her about the bowstring snapping back if she wasn’t careful. While she usually bound herself, since they’d come straight from the therapist, the woman hadn’t even considered the disadvantage of big breasts while target practicing.


(okay...I've actually done this, and gotta tell you, its the most unpleasant feeling to snap yourself with a bowstring.)
 
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