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We Shouldn’t (SadBoy and Horus)

Alex’s stomach twisted into a knot when he thought about what he had almost done to Jason to have his way. He had never thought himself capable of such an act before, and the knowledge that he would have probably gone through with his rape if Jason’s words hadn’t reached his ears hurt him even more. He thought about why exactly he had been pushed over the edge so dramatically. He thought about the words of rejection and denial Jason had espoused and how they hurt him so deeply. Alexander felt sick to his stomach knowing how much he had hurt and scared Jason with his actions, but he couldn’t have imagined acting any differently after hearing his brother tell him that they weren’t ever meant to be together. He spoke softly in agreement, “Yeah, I think I might have to. I just— it really really hurt me when you pushed me away. I just— I thought if… I made you feel happy that you might change your mind, I guess.” He shook his head in disbelief at the words coming out of his mouth and spoke aloud how he felt, “God, I’m such an asshole.”



The elder brother looked to the younger brother apologetically, as he moved his hands down to massage his sibling’s wrists that had been pinned down so roughly with slow massaging movements from his fingers. He had given his brother the occasional bruise before when rough-housing or playing, but he had never done so with malicious intent like he had today. It made his heart quicken with pace when he thought about the fact that he had been genuinely excited when he had held his brother down.



An uncomfortable tightness formed in his groin, as he felt his manhood grow erect from a mix of Jason’s proximity as well as thinking about his previous excitement to his shame. He groaned softly and nearly bit his tongue at the sensation of his rubbing against Jason, as his heart began to race and he closed his eyes. He couldn’t look up at his brother because of how embarrassed he felt, and he practically froze at the thought of being too aggressive again. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew what he so badly wanted: his brother’s touch.
 
In his head, Jason found himself saying ‘of course it really, really upset you. You turned into a monster.’ It hurt to think about, and just imagining how much it would have really hurt if he’d followed through made him want to start crying, but he was coaxed out of it by gentle fingers working at sore wrists. Any other time, Jason might have liked the mental image of being pinned down. He certainly liked the fantasy, but reality was far different. Far more unpredictable and far more dangerous.


“If you ever do it again…” the words hung in the air heavily, and Jason pulled away to drink some of his margarita. Eyes slid over his squirming brother and eyebrows lifted, amused.

“Are we sure I’m the teenager? I feel like your dick thinks it’s still being pummeled by puberty.” Jason kept staring, from Alex’s bulge to his face, and slowly sipped another sip of fruity goodness.

“Makes it hard for me to know what to do. Like, what the right decision would be…” earlier it had been a hard choice, but Jason licked the sugar and booze from his lips and pressed the heel of his palm slowly down upon the swelling length beneath those sweats. Seemed like he’d made up his mind this time. It was easier to feel comfortable about it when his brother looked vulnerable and uncertain. Jason knew that he was in control, if only for the moment. He felt safe. He also felt confident about what Alex’s response would be, given how many times he kept trying to fuck him or get hard.
 
Alex bit the inside of his bottom lip, as he failed to stifle a loudly moaning grunt at his brother’s teasing. He spoke aloud his response to his brother’s verbal teasing in a strained groan, “Oh— gahh— fuck you in both a literal and figurative sense, Jason. I’m only this easy to excite when it’s you.”



He looked up at his brother with a bit of fear and apprehension in his eyes, as he debated about how serious his brother was in this. Did he really want him now or was he just teasing his big brother to elicit a response, as poorly advised as that might be? He couldn’t say for certain, and he didn’t want to act with too much haste in case he was wrong and his brother was just fucking with his emotions for fun. Still, he couldn’t help but roll his hips up to press against Jason’s touch even while he moved his hands down to grip the couch in an effort to not roughly grab his brother instead. If he was acting in the way he honestly wanted he would probably be guiding Jason’s hand along the way, but he felt the need to hold himself back for fear of going too far. He opted instead to ask his brother as best he could manage through struggling moans to help him, “Mmmm— please, Jason. I need to feel you so bad.”
 
That response had him laughing, the sound delighted and matching his grin. His hand curled, fingers forming against the shape of Alex’s length through his pants. He wasn’t the type to torture someone already so mentally distraught and physically deprived. If he’d been sound of mental state, maybe. But here, now? Jason wanted to feel him just as much, and he wondered, too, what the release might offer for Alexander’s overthinking.

“Will you take it out for me?” He asked him, still rubbing, eyes watching for a telltale wet spot. “I want you to show me how you take care of it when you think of me.” Not only did it excite him enough that Jason panted softly, but distracting Alex with this new sexual freedom they had would surely help out, even if it was just short term.

“Show me, Xander,” he encouraged with a glint in his eyes, sitting on the edge of the couch.
 
Alexander’s eyes widened with surprise and alert caution after hearing his brother’s words. He hesitantly nodded and obliged his brother by shimmying his sweats down slightly and pulling out his cock with both hands. He looked his brother in the eyes, as he moved his hands across the base and head of his shaft in order to begin giving the friction required to cum. His hands began moving vertically and twisting with some speed and well-practiced motions, as the excitement of his brother watching caused a small pool of pre-cum to form at his tip which helped to lubricate his shaft slightly.



Alex’s eyes were locked onto Jason’s face even while he showed his brother what he had wanted to see, and he spoke in a pleading moan while his testicles tightened like they were squeezing up into his body, “P—please, J. I want you so fucking bad.” His eyes were half-lidded with desire and his mouth lulled open ever so slightly, as he began softly panting with excitement.
 
Watching him work himself over, Jason got an eyeful of just how big he really was. He sucked in a breath and nipped at his own lower lip, heart suddenly speeding through his chest. Big hands, big dick, but that sweet and pleasing voice…

“Oh, gladly,” he purred at him, eyes hungry and voice breathy as he leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth, one of his hands taking one of Alex’s and holding it, pushing it into the cushions. “Just wanted to see how you made yourself moan so loud earlier…”

His tongue pushed into his brother’s mouth while his other hand joined the one on that excited prick, slender fingers squeezing as if to reassure him that yes, he was here, he was doing this. He was going to be here for all of it that he could, wanted to be a part of his brother pleasuring himself and reaching those highs.

Groaning into the kiss, Jason broke the hold on Alex’s hand to shove his hand up his chest, gently scraping nails down the firm middle of it.
 
The feeling of his brother’s nails on his bare chest sent a shiver down his spine. He would be lying if he didn’t admit that he had some pretty strong masochistic tendencies, but this was something different that fueled his drive. Being touched by his brother at all felt like Heaven even though he wasn’t sure how far Jason would let him go. It took a considerable amount of Alex’s willpower to not move more aggressively against Jason or to mount atop him. One of Alex’s hands reached up to hold the back of Jason’s head in place while he moved in to explore his mouth with his tongue. Alex’s motions with the hand not busy cradling his brother’s head were still fixed to rubbing along the upper third of his shaft while he deepened the kiss to more passionately kiss his brother. Alexander’s heart felt like it was going to hammer out of his chest at any moment, as the excitement grew considerably inside of him. He became hungry for his brother’s affection in a way that he had been stifling in order to appear more stable than he was. He wanted to become lost in Jason. He wanted more from him, but he was too busy enjoying their kiss to express that need with words. Instead, he leaned slightly onto his side so his cock was now facing towards his brother, and started to move his hips in arching thrusts that conveyed his desire wordlessly.
 
Alex’s hand alone was enough to excite him and incite more fervor, Jason moaning and tilting his head to kiss him harder. The hand not on his brother’s dick slid down to join it, feeling for the heated space between his legs. He played with the weight of the older’s balls, letting the heat and pressure of his palm knead against them while he stroked his brother.

He also gave in to the way Alex leaned and turned against him, until they were both laying on their side and facing one another, Jason jerking at his brother’s cock and feeling it press, hot and slick, against his stomach. His body grew hotter, moans and gasps pushed into Alexander’s mouth from the younger’s chest. His head swam with a heavy fog. Tasting him, feeling him, was such a relief and a release. It sent happy hormones soaring.

“I wanna make you cum so bad,” he panted, tugging gently on, squeezing at, his sack. “You deserve it, too,” a kiss punctuated the end of the sentence. “You deserve to feel, t-t’ know that you’re wanted, Xander,” Jason rolled his own hips, shorts grinding against his brother’s thigh.
 
Alex’s eyes nearly roll back into his head, as he felt his brother tugs pulling around his shaft while he listened to his brother’s affirmations of his desire. The elder brother gently ground his thigh against his brother’s crotch, as his own breathing grew warmer and more rapid. His head was abuzz with the pleasant sensation of neurotransmitters flying about in his mind in much the same way Jason’s probably was.



He looked into his brother’s eyes carefully, as he took his hand off his own cock to reach into his brother’s trousers and rub his cock while he spoke softly to Jason in a surprisingly clear tone, “I want to make you cum too - you deserve so much more than what I’ve been giving you.” He placed a kiss on his brother’s neck while he began massaging Jason’s cock slowly. He didn’t know if his brother would freak out, but he knew he would probably stop him if it was too much for him. Besides, he figured if they really were going to sleep in the same bed tonight that he had all that time to touch his brother to get Jason to be more comfortable with him.
 
The shorts he wore were loose, easy to reach into from the open legs as well as the waistband, and Jason didn’t protest. He certainly didn’t seem to mind, going off of the whimper he made and the way his grip faltered. Breath fanned against Alexander’s hair and Jason’s eyes fluttered closed when he felt his brother’s mouth on his neck, his own slender cock pulsing excitedly in the older’s grip.

“‘S’okay,” he nodded, pressing close and giving cues that this was fine, this was more than fine. “You’ve been good, you’ve been my brother. S’what we’re supposed to be,” after that, his voice broke off, throat tightening and mouth going dry with arousal. He listened to the slick sounds of hands on skin, blood pounding.

“Yea-ah, s’good, this is good, you’re good,” he continued to gasp, mumbling reflexively when the words finally came again, spilling off of his tongue. “Jesus,” he whined and tightened his grip so that the jerking motions he gave were slower, tighter, firmer. “You’re so hard.”
 
Alex grinned deviously when he heard his brother’s affirmations and his whimpers of pleasure, and he especially liked the change in his grip that offered a firmer and tighter sensation around his slick cock. Alex himself was notorious with his partners for taking forever to finish, but he hoped that wouldn’t be a problem with Jason even if it did happen. He hoped his brother would appreciate his stamina and endurance if nothing else. His own grip on Jason’s comparatively dwarfed manhood was slow and methodical with his large calloused hand nearly encompassing the entirety of his length, and the flat of his thumb circled the tip in small rapid motions that he hoped would stimulate. His own moans were getting louder not just from Jason’s touch, but the knowledge that his brother loved how Alex made him feel as well as how in-sync he felt.



Alexander’s kisses were warmer and wetter with the use of the tip of his tongue to trace across Jason’s skin with snakelike dexterity. The knowledge that this was completely against the limits of social acceptability did not shame him, but rather he felt excited by the prospect of finally getting to give fulfillment to the taboo he had fostered for what seemed like such a long time. He loved how open his brother was being despite the circumstances that surrounded them. Alex felt accepted. Loved. Cherished.
 
Attention focused on his tip had him gasping and flinching, the sensitivity there hit or miss. Sometimes it was perfect and other times it was too much to the point of being almost painful, making him squirm in his brother’s hands. His teeth sank into his lip and he wrapped his leg around his brother’s hip, allowing the older more room to grind while Jason could use him as leverage to hump more vigorously into that hand.

Both of his own wrapped around Alexander’s girth, pumping and twisting in sync with one another. The one on top came up to keep engulfing the crown of his cock in quick, snug glimpses of friction.

Alex’s mouth and tongue were hot, but the wetness was chilled over by the air of the room, and he was left shivering and pressed against his brother as he made noises half-muffled in his brother’s dark hair. He smelled so good, smelled like home, and the heat just kept building. He knew he probably wouldn’t last long.

“I’ve taken your clothes before—“ he blurted in an impassioned gasp. “T-to jerk off. Or when you’re gone for a couple of days, suh-sometimes I can get away with doing it in your bed—“
 
Alex grinned in glee at the surprising revelation. Who knew his brother was just as pervy as he was? Alex purred as he spoke in a sultry tone of voice while he continued to jerk off Jason eagerly, “Oh— Jason. You can jerk off in my bed whenever you want, but I would prefer to be in the bed with you.” He broke off his speech to bring kisses to places along his neck that had seemed to elicit more enthusiastic moans from Jason’s lips, as he did his best to keep up the rhythm of his hand for his brother. Alexander could tell Jason didn’t have long to last, though Alex himself wasn’t nearly as close. He couldn’t complain though - he would still be happy if his brother busted his load and made the excuse that he was too tired to continue if only because he now knew he could get Jason to finish. It was a satisfying notion that his brother couldn’t hold out against his touch.



Alex arched his own hips to thrust in tune with his brother’s hands to add a needed element of motion from his body, as he whispered into Jason’s ear in his naturally low pitch, “Come for me, Jason. I want you to cum for your ‘big’ brother.”
 
A breathless, tittering giggle pushed out of his lips. “I didn’t h-have the option—earlier,” and he hadn’t had the guts to confess, not like Alex, even if it had been a panic attack that had done the confessing.

One hand let go of his brother’s cock to clutch at one of his biceps instead, his thigh hurting from how hard he had it clinging to Alex’s hip, his own rocking back and forth into that hot, snug grip. If it wasn’t for his brother’s encouragement, Jason would have waited, held off for a little longer. Why, though? He could tend to Alex after he’d made them both happy by chasing that encroaching orgasm.

God, the way Alex rumbled playfully in his ear, too- fucking right, he was big, and his spank bank would be fantasizing about how that cock of his would feel up until they finally made love.

With a whimper and a whine, nails digging crescent shapes into Alexander’s arm, Jason’s face went slack as he chased that feeling, breaths getting heavier and eyelids flickering, eyes rolling up as the heated knot low in his belly grew and tightened.

Pleasure and focus twisted his features right up until he hit that peak, light bursting behind his eyelids and his mouth falling open for a silent squeal of delight. He came with a harsh gasp and his nails dragged down, leaving harsh red lines down his brother’s arm while his balls drew up, load coating the other’s palm. The boy shuddered and took a moment to come down completely, toes still curled and body slowly, slowly relaxing once again. For those moments, his mind was blissfully quiet.
 
The pain of his brother digging his nails into him combined with the feeling of his brother’s climax shooting wetly into his hand sent an electric wave of pleasure throughout his body. Alexander looked down at his brother with a blissful smile on his face, as he forgot about his own need for personal gratification. Alex raised his hand that was thickly coated with his brother’s seed, and he spent the next several seconds cleaning it off and away with his tongue before finally reaching back down to jerk out anything that returned while he swallowed Jason’s load. The taste still coated his mouth, as he leaned down to kiss his younger brother softly on the lips for a few seconds.



Alex broke away from Jason’s lips with tears glistening in his eyes from a mix of intense joy and the anxiety that outlined it broadly in the shadow of his psyche. He spoke with a tremor in his voice, as he used the arm that had just brought his brother such immense pleasure to wrap around him and pull him in closer, “I love you, Jason.” His mind was focused on how close they were in both a physical and emotional sense, and he couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing the right thing by letting his brother in so close to see even a glimpse of how scattered and warped his thoughts really were. His brother’s company made him feel whole somehow - like he had a piece filled back into a vacuum that had been in his heart for such a long time. Alex clung to Jason warmly, as he held his brother close to whisper to him with a voice that seemed small, “I want to make you happy.”
 
Short, sharp breaths gasped out of him when Alex continued to jerk him, milking the last few dribbles of his release from his increasingly oversensitive prick. Jason jerked and twitched from the intensity of the sensation, and he caught himself making a whine about it, which he muffled into his brother’s neck. The scent of himself on his brother’s breath made Jason moan anew, accepting that thick, heated kiss while his head still felt full of clouds.

“I love you too,” he mumbled, both hands resting against Alexander’s chest. “I’m happy, I’m happy,” Jason continued, smiling and giggling like he was drunk on his feelings, which was probably close to the truth. “I am. I’m happy…but you,” his cheek nuzzled and squished against the older’s, cuddling affectionately. “Still need…” a few ideas came to mind while he wriggled with warm afterglow. “Here,” Jason said it softly, pulling his shorts down around his knees with a few more shimmies.

His hands guided Alex’s cock between his legs, flesh slick once that pre-leaking prick lubed them up. One hand came behind himself, stroking at the tip where it poked between his thighs. “Now move…”
 
Alexander’s surprise at his brother’s forwardness was evident in the wide expression of his eyes. Alexander gasped aloud when he felt the squish of his brother’s thighs against his manhood, as he begin automatically sliding in a steady rhythm between them. Alexander’s face twitched with pleasure, as he reached up with his hands to crane his brother’s neck up before kissing him passionately on the mouth while he slid in between his thighs in rapid motions. He felt intense joy not only from the fact he could make his brother happy but the fact that Jason wanted to make him happy too. The feeling of emotional connectivity was intense and powerful for him, and it offered him a pleasure that rapidly grew in his body in tune with his thrusts and their passionate kiss. He wanted to hold his brother close like this forever.



It would be a few minutes before he finally felt himself getting closer and closer to his climax, and in one last series of rapid and slick sliding motions with his hips he came in long and healthy strands between his brother’s thighs. His panting began to slowly settle back down into a normal rhythm, as he held his brother tightly and kissed him in gratitude. He broke the long and passionate kiss with a glowing smile across his features, as he looked into his brother’s eyes lovingly while he spoke, “Thank you, J. I—I’ve wanted to be close to you like this for so long.”
 
Jason felt a new wave of exhaustion befall him after the first, this one coming in a few thrusts before Alex finished. He was panting in tandem with his brother, one arm over a broad shoulder while the other still remained behind, fondling the head of his brother’s arousal when it peeked between his legs. His face and neck bristled with a burn from the scrapes of facial hair, and he squeezed his legs carefully together every few moments.

Was this what sex with him would he like? Intense, lengthy- seriously, his brother’s stamina astounded him after how eager Alex had been all day. All the past two years. Masturbating earlier seemed to hardly effect him.

Heated, thick release coated his fingers and Jason groaned for his brother, a new wave of satisfaction rolling down his spine once they’d both reached their peaks. It almost felt unreal, dreamy, the stress of the day and the intoxication of relief and ecstasy all mashing together to make him feel like he’d had way too many margaritas.

He smeared his messy palm across Alex’s chest, fondling at a nipple and nipping his brother’s lip with a groan. A lazy smile slid across his lips and he pressed their foreheads together.

“Don’t thank me for sex,” he told him quietly. “M’not, like…doin’ you a favor; I love you. I want this.” Have wanted it for ages.
 
Alex smiled warmly while he held his forehead to Jason’s and spoke with playful mirth that conveyed his elevated mood, “I’m not thanking you for sex - I’m thanking you for being open. It—It makes me so fucking happy to know that you feel the same.” Tears of relieved joy fell down his face to settle on the couch cushions below while he smiled and closed his eyes. He couldn’t believe after two long years that his brother loved him mutually, and not only that but his brother was being honest about how he felt. This moment felt like a dream come true to Alexander, and he didn’t want to let go of Jason for fear of waking up from the dream. The anxiety of losing Jason still ate away at the back of his mind; how long would it be before his brother let go of him forever?



The elder brother held his younger brother close while he leaned in to peck his brother lightly on the lips before cuddling him to his chest. Alex spoke aloud something that he felt would appease his insecurities a little bit; “Sleep in my bed tonight, so I can hold you like this when I wake up and know it’s not a dream.” That was strangely eloquent for him and hopefully not too dramatic a way to put such a simple request, he thought to himself.
 
Jason took a deep breath in through his nose, nodding and settled into the embrace while he understood and resonated with what was being said. It was a huge revelation and a huge weight off of his shoulders.

Instead of saying that he’d already agreed to sleep with him, Jason nodded, feeling that they’d need another quick clean-up, if not a shower all over again. He was proud of Alex for how he voiced himself, proud of him for being strong enough right now not to fall victim to his worries.

“I’ll be glad when I wake up and it’s still true, too,” beamed the boy, finally able to feel himself relax.
 
Alex chuckled lightly to himself before responding with something coincidentally on the same train of thought as his brother, “I think we’re gonna’ have to take another shower before bed tonight.” He squeezed his brother’s sides with his hands before he heard the oven timer go off in the kitchen. Alex grumbled in a low and annoyed tone while he disentangled himself from Jason to stand up, pull his sweats back up, and walk to the kitchen, “Gotta’ make sure the house doesn’t burn down - one second.”



Alexander felt a rush of blood to his head that made him slightly dizzy, as he walked across the house and into the kitchen to grab the food he had prepared. He slipped on an oven mitt that hung along the wall a few feet to the right of the stovetop before turning off the oven’s heat and opening it to retrieve the glass pan with the dish he had prepared. He set it down on the iron grid of the stovetop before grabbing two plates and setting them on the counter to the right of the stove. He slipped off the oven mitt and waited for the pan to cool before cutting into the casserole to serve. A lot was on his mind; some good and some bad. He had hope for the future and doubts about himself in equal measure. He wanted to get in a better mental state for his brother. He wanted for Jason to be proud of him. He wanted his brother to wake up in the morning and not feel worried or ashamed. He wanted those things for himself just as much as he wanted them for Jason, but he had no idea where to start or if the process would be too agonizing for Jason to tolerate. What if the meds he was put on didn’t help or made him worse? What if the meds made him become somebody he was not, or worse yet what if they made that angry monster he had been earlier come out in full force? It scared him to think that whatever treatment he might be recommended might have irreversible consequences on his mind as well as his relationship with Jason. Would his brother accept if he didn’t get help for his condition? Would Jason accept that their relationship was medicine enough for his mind to heal? Alexander had no answers to these questions, as he stared at the cabinets in front of him blankly while he became lost in thought.
 
He was annoyed, perhaps more than his brother, at the sound of the oven calling them apart, and groaned at the chill of his absence. After that absence lasted more than a few minutes, Jason made another disgruntled sound and pulled himself up off of the couch, shorts hitched back up on his hips where they belonged.

It smelled divine, but why was Alex taking so long? Quietly, Jason came up, only offering a soft “Hey,” once he was beside him and dampening a few paper towels. Jason cleaned up his brother’s chest with a doting kindness, the air of concern beginning to furrow his brows once more. He was tired, he didn’t know how Alex had energy to be stuck in his thoughts right now.

“Hey,” he said it again, firmer, and rest his chin on his brother’s shoulder. “What’re you doing?”
 
Alexander turned his attention to his brother once he felt Jason’s touch dabbing away at the slick wetness on his chest. He heard his brother’s words and answered honestly though perhaps not in the most explanatory of fashions, “Just thinking about the future, hon.” The elder brother wrapped his arm around Jason and hugged him to his shoulder before planting a firm kiss on the younger brother’s forehead. Alex looked into Jason’s eyes with a smile, as he spoke further, “I promise I’m okay - just have a lot to think about. The food is about ready now that it’s cooled off slightly, so you can grab what you want.” Alex handed his brother a plate before walking over to the fridge and retrieving a crisp apple for himself. He didn’t feel particularly hungry anymore, but he knew that he should eat something to fill him to some degree.



Alexander walked back beside Jason and hugged him while asking a query of his own, “How are you feeling?” It was mostly rhetorical, but he did want to see how open his brother was about how he felt. He might feel more pressured to explain the thoughts that circulated in his mind if his younger brother shared some of his own.
 
“If I know anything, it’s that thinking too much isn’t always a good thing,” he told him quietly, glowing under the kiss and the intonation of his brother calling him ‘hon’. It opened up his thoughts to even more new possibilities that would come with relationships, like pet names. Not that Alex could call him that around their parents or anything, but…

“Yeah? You sure you don’t want some?” He did get himself a plate and a decent portion. “I’m fine right now. I’m not even..thinkng much at all, right now,” there was a chuckle as he gently bumped into his brother. “My legs are still shaking.”
 
Alex couldn’t help but chuckle as he held him closer and whispered into his brother’s ear sweetly, “I can’t help but wonder if you’d be able to even walk if I was actually inside of you, but I’m glad you liked it.” Alexander leaned in to kiss his brother on the neck before leaning back and biting into the apple he had grabbed with his arms still around his brother. This was pleasant. Their embrace, the openness, the love - it was all very pleasant, and he hoped beyond hope that it was something that could last.



Alex kissed his brother on the cheek before letting go and walking back to the living room to lie down on the couch and relax. His mind was a mix of emotions and ideas that threatened to overpower him into being completely vacant, but he did he his best to try and remain in the present. Fear rose in his chest and he tried to quell it with reassurances that his brother really loved him and he was sure that if they tried together that they would find a way to make it work, but the fear wouldn’t go down no matter how hard he tried. Fear of losing Jason, fear of losing something he had been dreaming of for so long, and fear of himself all rose in equal tandem as he felt his pulse began to raise and his breathing began to elevate with the oncoming anxiety attack. He tried taking a deep breath to calm himself, and he closed his eyes while he did his best to steady his mind.
 
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