"My entire life.
Our entire childhood in North Carolina, really," Jane said. "Before I knew what love was, or what I was, I knew I adored you, as Nathaniel and then as Yasmine. And...well, that sounds like a fair determination. I'll polish my kneepads just in case."
"I...concur," Erika said. Not like she had much of a choice other than to let them decide whether to end her beloved's life any time soon. "But also not something I can get involved in. You understand." Nor would she mention anything about spines and the breaking of them on super-soldiers' knees to Shiloh when they met, lest Shiloh get spooked and Erika get fucked to death. She was pretty sure she was trapped here either way, as Yasmine had mentioned. But whether this would be heaven or hell for her depended on Shiloh's actions the night of Connor's death.
Erika knew that Connor was the kind of person who always was what he claimed to be. She just had to hope that Shiloh was as well. Although, there had always been something melancholy about that girl, she thought as she ran from the Legato Tower to her billboard (refusing a lift by helicopter from the same Neo Varangians whose commander she'd just kidnapped, in case Shiloh was lying in wait by
her billboard). She wanted to believe the best in the people she loved, but they all had pasts they were running from, literally and metaphorically. Her. Michael. Connor, clearly, who omitted his connections to organized crime. Why would Shiloh be any different?
As she was thinking all these things and making death defying leaps across routes made in her head like it was nothing, Erika didn't realize that Yasmine could see through her eyes the entire time. Instead, she hacked into the billboard to show her runner tag and whispered, "Please be out there, Shiloh. I've missed you."
Little did Erika know that Shiloh had been sitting on the edge of the billboard, waiting for hours (after Nana Ciobanu made her and the equally hung over man and woman she'd slept with- who she realized were named Erwin Burrell and Amaranta Van De Laar, respectively, and actually seemed like really cool people- eat a breakfast of
Romanian goulash in their pajamas, with a loving smile creasing the laugh lines on her face) for Erika's signal. As soon as she responded, both girls took their preferred routes to Ogikubo's Noodles.
Somehow, Erika knew that Shiloh would get to the stand and order first. Connor liked to joke that she always did get a sudden burst of energy when she smelled food. But now she hunched over and guarding the
all-natural, non-printed pork belly ramen, which Erika had introduced her to and Shiloh had claimed was "the best thing I've ever eaten," like it was made of gold; inhaling it rather than savoring it like she used to; and scanning the skies and streets for threats. Erika didn't blame her, but was worried about how Shiloh had been coping, especially with being on the run for weeks. She needed to resolve the situation now or Shiloh would lose her mind, she decided.
"Eriiii!" Shiloh beamed and kissed Erika on the cheek. "I thought you were dead. But I never gave up on you. I always came back to that same billboard, hoping and praying that you would send your signal and you finally did. So, how the hell did you escape Yasmine and her Neo-Gargoyle fucks?'
"I'm so glad to see you too, baby girl," Erika said, just about managing to suppress what she really wanted to say just one more time. A phrase from one of the Gaelic texts Shiloh adored so much from her homeland, and had often repeated to her.
"Mo Anam Cara," meaning "my soul friend". Which she desperately wanted to follow up with the one Japanese phrase she could still say, that she could remember her father saying to her mother with all the love in his heart. Before all the chaos, before they died telling her to run while she couldn't do anything but, lest the crowd kill her too.
"私は最初にあなたに目を置いた瞬間からあなたを愛してきた."
"Hajimete ata tokikara sukidata."
"I've loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you."
That (and her desire to eventually be Mrs. Erika Chambers-Mayer) would not serve the silver haired girl well, even if Erika meant it more seriously than the jokey, flirty compliments she usually paid to her fellow courier. Erika dove right into explaining that, no, she hadn't escaped, and that instead she had gotten Yasmine to see their side of the story. She also admitted and apologized for her role in telling Yasmine where they were after Connor died. Shiloh then stared at her half eaten ramen in stony silence, and only responded when Erika beseeched her.
"I mean, before Yasmine sent in a battalion of armed mooks to hunt us, I get it. You were scared about her doing just that, and wanted to settle things diplomatically. You always were arbitrating fights between us over the littlest things. But
after? After they chased me for two weeks, after they made me sleep on a pile of trash, after they
killed Michael? How could you work with Yasmine
now?" Then Shiloh realized, and her mouth hung open in horror.
"How many times have you fucked?" she asked, knowing that Erika could get very doe-eyed about somebody she'd just slept with. However, Shiloh knew that Erika had been been hurt too many times by randos these past three years, and it made Shiloh angry that Yasmine was tricking her best friend in the same manner.
"Look...once, but that's not relevant. I promise you, Yasmine's changed."
"Really convincing performance there, Eri," Shiloh said, slowly clapping her hands with contempt written all over her face.
"Hey!" Erika cried, taken aback that Shiloh would act like this.
"Don't hey
me, Erika. I know you're hurting after Michael, and you want to have some semblance of a normal life. But Yasmine destroyed me. I have no money, I've practically slept with one eye open for two weeks, everyone I've ever loved has either died or betrayed me by her hand, and all because...what, she thinks I'm responsible for Connor's death? If she knew Connor at all, or cared about you in the slightest, she would know that wasn't true."
"Oh, Shi," Erika said, her heart breaking for her best friend. The Japanese girl held the Irish girl's freckled face, thumbs tracing over every beautiful dot, and continued, "I told her as much, honey. She understands. She just wants to hear from you about Connor's last night alive, and his last words to you."
"Oh,
NOW she wants to hear me out?! What, so she can trick me again and kill me herself? Maybe she should've said that before she tried to trap me with a bunch of assault rifles pointed at my face, or sent three helicopters after me in the middle of a fucking once in a century blizzard," Shiloh raged as she thought about his last words before he died, knocking away her hands with her arms., nearly knocking Erika out of her chair.
"Hey, Shiloh, I know you're a regular here, but you're scaring away my customers," Arakawa-san, who ran the shop named after his late father, tried to say.
Undeterred, Shiloh slammed her fist on the table, rattling both their bowls, and demanded with a pointed, gloved finger, "What reason would I have to hurt Connor?"
"It's not me you have to convince of that."
"Why do I owe Yasmine
anything?"
"Don't do it for her, then. Do it for me. If you have nothing to hide, then just tell her what happened, and we can live comfortably with her, and never have to worry about money or food ever again."
Together died on her lips.
"I wish it was that easy, but Erika- I...I've met some people. They promised they can help keep me safe."
"But Shiloh! If you do this, you'll be throwing everything away."
"I came to this city to start over, and although I care about you, there's nothing else left on the surface for me, so I have to do that again. I'm sorry, and I will miss you and always appreciate that you tried to help, but go back to that phallic tower of hers with Yasmine's offer and shove it up her wrinkly old ass, along with whatever else you like to put up there," Shiloh said, then dropped her remaining noodles on Erika's head. Not only did it give her a moment to run away and blend into the crowd while Erika was busy clearing the lukewarm broth and ingredients from her eyes, but it also short circuited her BioJack, cutting the feed.
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