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Corrupt a Wish

Now, I don't know much, but I don't think that's how transgender people work.
Granted, the vast knowledge makes you constantly make references to 16th century works of literature that are incredible funny to you and you alone because no one else gets them
I wish human milk was as common and as cheap as cow milk
 
Granted, you're a deformed circus freak who has a body shaped like a penis and everyone comes to laugh at you
I wish a random case of high quality alcohol appeared in my house every week with no charge to me and no illegality involved
 
granted it's rubbing alcohol just a different type each time

I wish I could grant my own wishes
 
Granted, you now have the power to grant your own wishes whenever you rub a genie's lamp
I wish I could survive by eating dirt and it would taste delicious
 
wish invalid the genie would be granting the wishes

Granted you are a worm

I wish drugs weren't bad for me
 
Granted, drugs are still bad for everyone else and addicts constantly try to steal your stash
I wish I am going to sleep because it's 2am
 
Granted you slip into a sleep coma and don't wake up for 3 straight days and missed work/school.

I wish grandiose meals were instantly ready to eat like in Back to the Future where they zapped a tiny frozen pizza into a ready to eat full sized pizza in seconds.
 
Granted! Unfortunately, the meals only expand after they've made contact with your stomach, rendering them tasteless on the way down and nearly explosive once they reach their destination.

I wish I would live to the age of 100 with excellent physical and mental abilities throughout my lifespan.

A_thorny_prose said:
Granted you slip into a sleep coma and don't wake up for 3 straight days and missed work/school.

I wish grandiose meals were instantly ready to eat like in Back to the Future where they zapped a tiny frozen pizza into a ready to eat full sized pizza in seconds.
Click to expand...
 
granted but no one remembers you and you shrivel to dust at age 101

I wish for nothing I already have everything I want
 
Granted but as you rapidly age after 100, you will feel a natural disconnect with humanity and wont think the same as they have, you wont develop into the same type of human. Then, having lost everyone you truly cared about (obviously) and shallow relationships still somehow tend to end in tragedy(such is the balance of the world) and you naturallyfear death now but you also fear your own influence on the world.. As people seem to drive themselves to self destruction with your almost immortal influence... You eventually hide yourself away and slowly waste away, watching the world pass you by.

I wish that


granted. You are now nothingness. Welcome to the void.

I wish everyone in the world was capable of achieving their dreams.
 
Granted! Unfortunately, the multiplicity of incompatible dreams causes a paradoxical rip in the spacetime continuum, rending it entirely asunder.

I wish that only the first three Indiana Jones movies were made.
 
Granted. The universe is a great void apart from the DVDs from the first three movies
I wish I had the power to stop and start time at will without me aging when time is stopped
 
Granted, but you are frozen in place whenever you stop time.

I wish that I had the ability to understand animals
 
Granted. But it turns out all animals vile, hateful racists.

I wish that no one wanted to return to the gold standard.
 
Granted no one uses money and everyone fight for everything

I wish that I was a masochist
 
Granted, but you have no sensation in your body so you can’t actually feel the pain, you just know it’s being inflected on you...they say it’s the thought that counts right? Haha

I wish I had the ability to make woman have sex with my with one glance!
 
Granted but he now sues the Pringles company for using he likeliness

I wish for a time machine that also makes it so paradoxes can exist without breaking everything
 
Granted, but the planet was destroyed a day later, so you’re left drifting in space until the end of time.

I wish that I was a famous musician.
 
Granted, but they make it right before the world explodes so you can't even play it.

I wish that I can travel 500 years into the future.
 
Granted, but when you arrive you are trap in one of those talking-head-tanks from futurama!

I wish we could all just get along! Lol
 
Granted, now everyone gets along. That includes spiders, insects, parasites, viruses, diseases and everything else.

I wish I could travel around space like a ghost by leaving my body.
 
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