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The person above you awakens in a hospital bed and YOU say:

Your last wish didn't work out the way you wanted so now you're given a choice of where you want to be reincarnated. But make it quick, you're going to die in the next ten minutes.
 
"Right....Miss Revnarh? Hmm yeah you died sorry but the devil is coming in five minutes for your soul. Sorry but luckily for you it's Saturday and it's now Pizza day so there's that"
 
The bad news is you're not going to be able walk for a while. The good news is that you have a rich sugar daddy.
 
You had a horrible car accident that nearly cost you your life, but luckily for you we were able to transplant your brain into another body. Hopefully you like being the opposite gender from now on...
 
And in my honest observation, during this operation, we found a complication in your heart. So, now you've got maybe . . . just two weeks to live.
Yes, I'm emo trash and I know it
 
We have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that you are still alive. The bad news is that you are now a living brain in a jar.
 
Good news we managed to get the toy out of your rear, but unfortunately you may have some trouble sitting comfortably for a while.
 
The good news is your hair and eye brows will grow back, but the bad news is the cops say there is video footage.
 
I donated my kidney so that you would make it, now can I please have my potato back?
 
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