Shaken Apart (Avengers/supernatural) Fox-Lady

"i don't know that he can be saved. he wouldn't want to be saved if it meant they had to give up their lives, their souls to save him." she pointed out. "we have to find him... Dean will never forgive him if we don't." she whispered.

Dean was very unhappy. he hadn't been allowed to leave the bed since he'd woken up. his kidney failure was advanced and meant he was weak and tired constantly. worse, he couldn't get a new kidney because the cancer was too advanced and it would just kill his new kidney. Lisa was about the only thing that had kept Dean sane for now. "thanks Sam." he said, offering his brother a smile. "Deidra!" he called, delighted when she came in, a smile on her lips. "hello Dean. heard you've been having some medical issues." "Cancer." Dean agreed. "Lisa and Sam haven't been handling it well." Dean admitted. "i'm not sure i am either. to be honest." he admitted. "well. why don't we talk, then i can speak with Sam and Lisa?" Diedra asked with a smile. "Tony's hired me full time for now, so i'll be making the rounds." she admitted before looking at Sam with a smile. "you're Sam, right?" she asked. "Dean's told me about ou. he's given me permission to tell you some of the things he's told me. i want you to know that i won't tell anyone else, anything at all that you tell me." she promised. "that goes for everyone. no one has to worry about me sharing secretes." she promised.
 
“we’ll find him. We wil.”Sam sighed softly, even if he knew a angelic warrior of god was going to be a huge pain in the ass to find.

Sam smiled a little. “Welcome.”He said turning to look at the woman, tilting his head a little. Fidgeting a little because even the idea of therapists made him a little twitchy. “Hello.”He said tilting his head as he looked at the woman, “And cas. Considering we can’t find him. Probably isn’t handling it well....we’re gonna drag him back here by his pinfeathers.”Sam grumbled, because he was getting to the point he was totally going to be violent with the angel. “Yes, I’m sam.”He said smiling at the woman a little, before frowning at dean a little. Wondering what the man had said but trusting to dean. Nodding hesitantly. “Good....but not right now. I have a damned angel to find.”He said looking at lisa and dean. “I’ll see you guys later.”he said beating a hasty retreat before dean could pass the therapist off on him first.
 
Deidra smiled at them. "i know you don't like Therapists Sam but i'm not like those crooks in the white lab coats." she promised with a smile. "for one thing, i'm 'in the know'. i knew about hunting before Dean and Lisa ever contacted me." she admitted. "For another, i'm not exactly human. i have certain... rules, i must abide by." she admitted. "there is a vow i give before, and after every session, locking away all the information i learn. meaning even if i feel that you are a danger to yourself or others, i cannot reveal that information." she admitted. "it means, literally, a vow of silence and secrecy." she admitted. "that's why Dean trusts you so much. because without permission, you literally cannot reveal anything at all... but, you're not human?" Lisa asked softly, confused and Diedra smiled. "no." she admitted with a smile. "i'm not the way the... others always where though." she admitted. "human flesh and blood sacrifice and other such pagan things turns my stomach. i practice magic yes, but only pure, white magic." she admitted. "the good kind of magic." she admitted. "there's such a thing as good magic?" "of course there is. the sort of magic that your god Loki and Thor uses. natural magic that works with nature, instead of against it. magic that helps, but doesn't cheat." she admitted. "i can't save lives. i can't make money or twist things." she admitted. "white magic is healing and protection and little more.i can save a life, but only if it can be saved. you know?" she asked with a smile. "mostly, my magic is fine tuned to breaking black magic. curses. blocking evil like werewolves and Demons. things like that." she admitted. "i've already tested her." Dean promised with a smile. "she's fine. it's safe." he promised, smiling at Lisa and gave her a kiss. "i'll be about an hour, and then it can be Sam's turn. he'll need longer." he admitted. "the first time... knowing you can trust her with anything... everything just, comes out." he admitted. "and it feels so good to let it all out Sam..." he promised his brother. "you'll feel... okay after. better."
 
“....They are a little crooked.”Sam muttered even if they’d let him out that last time, but there had been other stints, other times when his mind had been to broken to do anything except reach out for help, and been smacked down anyways. “Ah....well. That’s good to know. At least you wont think I’m insane.”Sam wrinkled his nose, tilting his head a little before relaxing at the idea of her not being able to tell anything, no one would ever known what nightmares plagued the youngest winchester. “...Huh. Never really considered what thor and loki do, as magic....I mean...not really.”Sam said thoughtfully before nodding. “Yea, sometimes magic does do good. If you don’t use it badly.”he said before looking at dean, tilting his head a little. Trusting dean, to have made sure she was safe. Frowning at the mention of loki, for the moment, wondering where the godling was, before refocusing. Nodding a little. He’d see if dean was right, and even the tightness in his chest, said that dean probably was, that he’d feel better. “I’ll see you later.”he said smiling a little, hoping deidra would be able to help dean at least ,as he headed for the door.
 
"most physiologists and therapists are there for the money." Deidra admitted. "but i don't have any need for money, it's... pointless." she admitted with a shrug before smiling at Sam. "oh darling. you're a hunter, of course you're insane." she teased. "there is a contract that needs to be signed by both of us, but you can alter it to your tastes and it's for human legal matters more than anything else. Tony had some girl named Pepper look it over and tweak it a bit." she admitted. "but a lot of the times we alter the contract person per person." she admitted. "it's the magical contract that really matters." she admitted. "and yes you can alter that as well." she assured them all. "it is a form of energy transference, that is what White magic is, the altering and channeling of power and energy instead of the twisting and breaking of natural law." she admitted. "they call it science of course, which is true." she admitted. "after all, all magic is a form of natural law." she admitted before smiling at Sam. "i'll see you in an hour, Sam Winchester." she promised with a smile before smiling at Lisa. "i'm sorry. but like all Therapists, it has to be done in privacy." she admitted. "It's fine." Lisa promised with a smile, kissing Dean because she was the one who had gone to Deidra first. an hour later and Dean was chuckling as she left, heading for Sam and looking very amused herself.
 
“Ah. Well, good to know.”Sam flushed a little before huffing. “Am not. Or at least. No more then dean is.” that really didn’t say much. “....okay. I’m sure pepper can figure it out.”He smiled a little because he trusted tony, trusted pepper to figure out what was there, before tilting his head. Considering what a magical contract might include, and dean would recognize the look, the desire to learn. “In a hour.”He promised.

Looking up when she stepped into the apartment tony had given him, looking up from the books he had piled high around him. “Hey. You look amused.”He said not pressing, simply studying her before settling in to work even if she was there, he had every intent of working and talking.

Crowley frowned, pausing at the sight of the man in front of him, “....You have no business being on your feet, much less summoning a crossroads demon.”He said studying dean, moving closer, but not touching the other, knowing dean had summoned him for a reason, and it wasn’t to get picked up and sent back to the tower and to bed. He’d heard rumors, hell, Sam had called him looking for cas, so he knew something was terribly wrong. He’d just assumed they’d found the demon before now.
 
"oh, Dean's completely off his rocker." Deirdra admitted with a chuckle before smiling as she settled in front of Sam. "so this is what you do when you're upset?" she guessed. "Dean said you liked research... said he'd like as not, be dead without you." she admitted, smiling at him as she slid a piece of paper over to Sam. he'd gone to law school after all, she knew he'd more than be able to handle it and be able to work out anything that was wrong with the contract. there wasn't though, Pepper had made it all of perfect. "what are you working on?" she asked curiously.

Dean was sitting in the dirt, right next to where he'd buried the case. "...i tried praying to Cas." Dean croaked. "i tried to call him. i begged him... i don't think he heard me. or he's ignoring me... i just have to find him Crowley... before..." he swallowed thickly. "before i die." he looked at Crowley. "i went to hell. i've died more times than most people 'almost' do and i'm going to get offed by Cancer and Cas is being a bitch about it, because he can't fucking heal what God, or maybe Micheal, decided." he sighed. "because Cancer is final, and you can't heal what's already dead, right?" he asked Crowley. "i just want him to come back... please. you have to find him for me. because i already checked the Bunker and he wasn't there. please. please, Crowley... i'm already dead, i just want Cas to be there for me while i do so."
 
Sam flicked a look over the books, nodding a little. “Hm, yes. Though thankfully this time it’s not a supernatural beast that I have a deadline on finding. Sorta....just something weird me and dean found. I’d like to have a answer for him, soon.”Sam shrugged a little before snorting slightly. “He got that backwards. I’d be dead without him.”Sam said because his brother had pulled his bacon out of the fire more times then he could count, even if dean always credited the book smarts to him rather then taking credit for what sam knew was a god given gift for tactics. Taking the paper as he read it, before signing, not seeing any problems with it, he’d have to thank pepper later. “The case me and dean were investigating. It wasn’t a ghost. Or at least not a normal one....we found a man frozen in ice, and dean sorta...let him escape. Before he collapsed. I want to find him, so dean can know he did a good thing, letting him out or something. But everything we found is in old russian, or czech, it’s sorta getting hard to read.”he said, well that explained he two foreign language dictionaries and the laptop sitting at his elbow.

Crowley sighed softly, “Cas is no more capable of ignoring you then he is of finding god. You’s probably in the middle of a psychotic break in not being able to fix this.”Crowley sighed logically, frowning slightly before crouching down next to the other, ready to catch him if he collapsed. “....I...I can’t find a angel. At least...”he frowned thinking it over, biting his lip a little. “....”He thought about it, a small smirk on his lips. “I would like to meet the godlings you’re currently living with. Deal?”
 
"You're trying to find a way to keep Dean busy?" she asked with a smile. "and sate your own curiousity of course." she admitted with a smile. "what kind of something weird?" she asked curiously before smilig a little. "i think you'd both be dead without each other." she admitted. "you've saved each other's asses a lot... those are Dean's words of course." she admitted with a smile. "not a ghost?" she asked, frowning a little. "really? a person?" she asked. "people can't just be frozen can they? cryogenics haven't been tested successfully on people yet as far as i know..." she admitted, looking rather confused. "Dean let him escape.... that's hilarious." she admitted. "here. let me see?" she asked, taking the papers before shaking her head. "it's Romanian. see? this word is 'One'. i don't know much Romanian but i can count to ten." she admitted. "and ask if they speak English." he admitted. "i don't think it's all in Romanian though." she looked at him. "why is it so important? it's just a man right?" she asked curiously.

"you're still a dick."Dean said, smiling at Crowley before frowning a little. "no one can fix this Crowley and you know it. a person cannot permanently cure cancer... not when it's this advanced. even if i could make the risk and sell y soul, i'd just get another ten years. if i was lucky." he admitted with a shake of his head. "...you can find him?" he asked softly. "you want to meet Loki? sure i think i could swing that, why?" he asked, looking confused. "dude, if you kiss me, i swear to god i am never going to let you live it down." he warned.
 
“Yes. Without Cas around, there’s only so many things that entertain him. Work is one. Otherwise I’d let him watch movies or something, but he likes movies if he can watch Cas watch them.”Sam said sighing a little. “Weird, which is saying something.”He made a face, before nodding a little. They had saved each other before nodding a little. “Yes a person. We think he was in some sort of...coma, frozen thing. Was letting him spirit walk without actually being dead....I was just hoping these papers would help us figure out what and who he was.”He sighed softly, before snorting. It was sort of hilarious really. “yea...”he muttered passing the papers over, looking startled at her words. “No, I think it’s sort of a mash up of all eastern european....it’s making translating hard.”He sighed a little before shrugging. “It was. But...it was weird. And it’s...something about him bothered me, more then the whole freezing thing. But I dunno....dunno what it is.”He sighed a little.

“Yes I am.”Crowley said before nodding a little. “Didn’t stop the little tree-topper from trying though. A angel’s grace, for any demon, if we could stop this. It was enough to almost try, squirrel.”Even if crowley knew it would still fail, he’d almost tried anyways. “I can. And yes. I do. Because he’s a trickster. I have a affinity for tricksters.”He smirked a little, and wasn’t that just worrying, crowley wanting to play pranks. “....Don’t worry. I’ve already shared a kiss with the better half of your relationship this week, I don’t want one from you.”Crowley smirked to himself as he touched dean’s arm and focused on the angel. Pausing as they appeared in a mini-mart. Not sure what to think about this before staring even more, at the angel currently behind the counter.
 
She nodded. "he's going to do something stupid i'm sure." she admitted with a sigh. "there's nothing we can do... nothing that i know of, that can fix this." she admitted softly. "i checked... tried, even... black magic could stave it off, but the cost would be so very much higher than anyone would want to pay." she admitted with a sigh and a shake of her head. "a person. have you asked Jarvis to make some translations?" she asked. "or asked someone who might know something? where there any insignias you could look up? images that you could look into?" she asked. "the kind of technology required to properly cryogenicly freeze someone and have them survive, there can't be many people capable of creating this." she mumbled, scowling at the book. "something bothered you? if your anything like your brother then those sensations usually mean something. what feels wrong about it?" he asked, staring at him.

"...Cas tried to give up his Angel Juice to save me?" Dean asked, looking stunned. "He really... Jesus fucking Christ." he whispered, setting his hand over his eyes and he sighed a little. "...i don't think you want to tease this Trickster Crowley. he's a well beyond any human born 'god'. he's the real deal. he kicked Cas's ass because he was in a bad mood." he reminded. "just be... mindful of that when i introduce you." he suggested before smiling a little. "you kissed Sam?" he asked, looking very, very amused. "that's fantastic i get to tease him about that right?" he asked before looking around when they moved. "....you've gotta be fucking kidding me." he mumbled before sighing. "just wait here a bit." he ordered, heading out to get every pie off the shelf and the entire rack of skin mags and got in line, watching Cas ring them all up.
 
“probably.”Sam huffed softly, before making a face. “Not even a deal can strive this off....Checked. Got kissed for my efforts. Wasn’t successful.”Sam muttered sighing a little before nodding. “I know I could have jarvis do it, and he’s offered but....it’s giving me something to struggle with, rather then hovering non-stop at dean’s side and getting shot for the effort.”Sam said well aware dean would have shot him probably if he’d hovered close as much as lisa had. “...Tony’s looking into the tech, seeing if he can backtrack it.”He muttered before nodding a little. “Yea. It’s like...”he frowned struggling to see it, eyes flickering over the wall for a moment, seeing lucifer, hearing the man’s voice before shoving his thumb against the scar in his palm, feeling the bones that hadn’t quite healed right grinding together, the pain letting him focus more. While lucifer could sometimes be insightful, he didn’t want to talk to the demon,even if it was just his subconscious. “Something....there was something about him that I knew. That I’d seen before, in a book, or a picture, but....I don’t know.”He growled sounding frustrated that he couldn’t find it in his memory.

“Yes, he did. Multiple times actually, until I showed up myself. And told him that it wasn’t possible.Even if I’d been willing to piss off heaven like that.”Crowley said sighing a little, he hadn’t wanted to tell him, but he’d known he had to. Otherwise dean would feel abandoned, when it had simply....not exactly been what cas had been doing. The angel having retreated to deal with this, with not being enough anymore. The vulnerablities that had been hammered home during some of there worst years, having been blown wide open by this, the angel feeling useless and thinking that now that he wasn’t useful, wasn’t good, that the winchesters had no use for him. “...I know. I wont tease him”Crowley said shrugging a little before smirking. “I did. Another man who doesn’t accept that some bargains can’t be made. Your little brother is a crafty little shit.”he said before holding up a hand. “I didn’t deal with him, I promise. Except for him to get me all of the supernatural books,and I’m filling my end of the bargain of looking after you by doing this for you.”Crowley looked pleased at having his bargain filled so soon, before nodding, amused at the idea of dean teasing sam. “....A mini mart?Really?”He muttered frowning a little at the order to wait, before doing so. “Hello.”Cas muttered as he stared down at the things in front of him, a small sad smile on his lips. “is that all?”He said, frowning a little. “These remind me of dean.”he muttered sounding so sad at the idea, not even realizing that the shadow of his wings flickered over the walls, to upset to keep them hidden totally, just for a moment, before he managed to control himself again with vicious self control.
 
"that's kind of hilarious." she admitted. "it's sweet that you tried, Dean's gonna kick your ass for trying." she admitted with a smile before smiling a little. "it keeps you busy and gives you something else to focus on." she agreed. "it's a good project and keeps Dean from trying to strangle the entire tower. very clever of you." she agreed with a smile. "Tony's the best person to get on the tech." she agreed. "he'll be able to trace anything... what's this?" she wondered, picking up a strange red diary with a black star on it. "it's a hand written journal. curious." now she was interested in this. "Sam?" she asked, her head tilted, "Are you alright?" she asked softly, gently setting her hand on his. "what's wrong?" she asked before nodding. "you'll figure it out. you know you will." she promised. "now. why don't you and i get around to talking?" she asked with a smile. "i can't help you if i don't know anything about you after all."

"did you kiss Cas? because if you kissed Cas i'm kicking your ass." he teased, shaking his head. "So that's why h took off. that son of a bitch. he thinks that because he can't save me Lisa won't want him anymore. that filthy fucker. i'm tanning his ass good for this." he growled before smiling a little. "i'm killing Sam." he admitted. "that little bitch." he snarled, shaking his head. "i'm killing him." he mumled, shaking his head. "i'm not surprised. he worked here when he was human." Dean admitted before chuckling a little before huffing a little. "of course it reminds me of me you son of a bitch." he said to Cas. "i'm going to fucking paddle your ass until you're black and blue. now get you're fucking feathered ass back home, right this instant, before i kill you right here in the Mini-Mart."
 
“Hm, I know. But he’s never going to find out, so I’m good.”He muttered before nodding a little. “Indeed. A good and long project, just what we needed. And one that doesn’t need chasing physically yet, just read about.”Sam said smiling a little before looking at the journal. “From what I can tell, a mission report....something like that. It’s....weird.”She shrugged a little before startling as she touched him, jerking away as he swallowed hard, “Y-yea. I’m okay.”he muttered calming a little, before sighing a little, setting the books aside as he leaned back into his chair, looking at her. “....I...I don’t know where to start.”He muttered.

Crowley smirked at the other. “Cas kissed me, trying to force a deal. It was sorta adorable how desperate the tree-topper is. Just a bit.”Crowley made a face before nodding a little. “well, not lisa. I got the feeling he was avoiding you more then her.”Which was true. After all this time, even if he liked and loved lisa, it was dean’s opinion of the angel that cas relied on, that when he’d lost everything, had rebuilt his foundations on, that he was useful to dean. “more about your sex life then I wanted to know, winchester.”He grumbled a little before snorting. That was just amusing. A angel of the lord, working in a mini-mart. “.....”Cas looked up, staring at dean for a long moment. Looking so painfully confused at the sight of the man in front of him, you knew he really hadn’t thought dean or the others would look for him now that he’d proved to be useless. “...dean?”he said looking confused, and torn between obeying, and stayin where he was.
 
"Sam... do you honestly think that Dean isn't going to find out?" she asked dryly. "he's going to find out and he's going to kill both you and Cas." he admitted with a shake of his head. "it's a good mission to work on." he agreed. "a mission report?" she asked, blinking a little. "so, like, mission reports or a hand written account or something?" he asked, frowning a little. "this is weird." she agreed. "are you doing this one first or trying to find out who he is first?" she wondered before looking at him. "Sam?" she asked softly before smiling at him. "start with your childhood maybe? or with whats bothering you, or just things you wouldn't mind telling me. whatever you want. it doesn't have to be personal or emotional things. just, open up and tell me what you're ready for someone, anyone to know." she offered.

"i'm totally turning his ass black and blue." he growled before smiling at Crowley. "i was always Cas's focus." he agreed. "i think that's part of why he feels so... bad, because he loves me more than he loves Lisa, you know?" he asked Crowley. "and he thinks that's wrong which is so totally stupid you know?" he asked with a smile. "i'm going to kill him anyway." he admitted before smirking at Crowley. "i could tell you about the page number we got to on the Kama Sutra if you wanted?" he offered with a grin before glaring at Castiel. "You are one fucked up son of a bitch you cowardly little shit head!" he snarled at Cas. "you get your fucking ass back home this fucking instant or i'm going to tan your hide so hard he bruises never fade, ever." he growled, staring at Cas. "now. are you going to go home, or do i have to make another deal to MAKE you get your ass home?" he demanded.
 
“....Dean has bigger things to worry about. He wont find out.”Though as squirmy as he was, the other knew that wasn’t true. “Yea...something like that. Missions, or journals of things that happened...I don’t know.”Sam sighed a little, “I think figure out who he is, before I do anything else. That’d probably tell us what the rest of this is.”He said before rubbing a hand over his face, watching her, “......I can see lucifer. Like. All the time. It got worse after I had sex. I haven’t....not really since I got back, then nat and clint waltzed into my life...and sex is amazing but....I see more things.” might as well shock her first, and work back to less scarring and scaring things.

“You should.”crowley smirked a little tilting his head slightly. “Makes sense. You should still kill him though.”Crowley ageed wincing a little. “Shut up. I know perfectly well you two haven’t had sex yet.”Cause he’d totally asked sam, out of sheer perverse need to know. “....”Cas looked confused and lost as he stared at Dean, looking upset. “You shouldn’t be out of bed.”He muttered before his eyes went wide, looking at the demon leaning against the display case across from him, before reaching out touching dean’s hand, and with a flutter of wings, both food, magazines, and the men were back in the tower, and cas was putting dean in bed.
 
"....you really are nuts." she admitted before smiling a little as she examined the journal. "that sounds like a solid pan, and he hasn't done anything right? that you know of?" he asked softly. no, Jarvis was looking but nothing had happened yet. well, until right, that second when one Senator Stern was shot in the head from five hundred feet away. Jarvis was able to pinpoint the murderer as a younger man, middle to late twenties, with long hair, a mask over the bottom half of his face and a bright metal arm. "Lucifer?" she asked, her head tilted. "from when you went to hell? do you suppose it is a memory recall, or did he leave a part of himself inside of you?" she asked softly. she didn't bother thinking he was insane, she just wondered if it was in Sam's head, or if Lucifer had left some kind of psychic imprint. "it's because you're finally opening yourself up i imagine. letting people in, means letting the locked up emotions and memories out." she admitted. "you haven't been dealing, or handling your emotions. just locking them away, pretending they never happened."

"i'm not gonna kill him permanent..." he admitted. "just a little. just enough to make sure the lesson sticks." he decided before smirking. "oh, no. not me and Cas. me and Lisa. we've been working our way through the book." Dean admitted with a smirk. "were on page forty four by the way." he teased with a laugh before glaring at Cas. "and who the fuck gets to decide that?" he demanded. "you left, after all. you sad, sorry piece of shit. you left me! laying in a bed, finding out that i'm about to die alone! yu made me sit in bed, knowing that i was never going to see you again! if i had the strength i'd punch you in your filthy fucking face!" he snarled, holding him as he was moved, feeling so goddamn tired now. "please... Cas... don't leave me alone again..." he pleaded softly.
 
“I know.”sam agreed before nodding. “Yes. As far as I know.”he said rubbing a hand ovre it, though jarvis would be informing them as soon as the session was over, what happened. Having been given orders by tony to ignore any and all therapy sessions unless violence happened during them. “I think it’s a psychotic imprint....because....it’s never....anything I remember him saying there. Or....anything torturous.....it’s...almost like he’s being helpful. That...part of my head that knows what I see, but can’t make sense of it. So it lets lucifer tell me....if that makes sense...”He sighed shrugging. “It’s helpful sometimes, but he’s usually being bloody and psychotic when he’s giving advice and it’s distracting.”He sighed a little before nodding. “Maybe....yea. Probably. Dad always taught us to shove it away rather then deal....Cas says we’re two of the most emotionally constipated people he knows. And coming from a angel, that says something. They’re all emotionally stopped up.”

“Just a bit.”Crowley looked amused. “....Thanks for that Dean.”He growled making a face. “...Well. Lisa for one matter. And I know she didn’t let you out of bed.”Cas said softly, sounding lost. “.....Lisa’s still with you. And Sam.”He muttered looking utterly pathetic and lost with the idea dean still wanted him there. “I’m useless to you dean. I know that now.”he muttered even as he put the other into the bed, looking at the blanket as he nodded a little. He could handle being useless, if that was what dean needed from him. Especially since now that he was back with him, he really didn’t want to leave. Even if the other’s wanted him to, he didn’t think he could. Not after a few weeks of being on his own, it hurt to much to try to leave despite the feelings that twisted up his chest.
 
"that's a good thing at least." she admitted. "Jarvis can keep a close lid on things." she admitted, unaware that one Brock Rumlow was the next to die, not twenty minutes after Senator Stern and then the man vanished, until tomorrow anyway. "a psychic Imprint can be controlled." she admitted. "it could be his little way of trying to control you, or it could be him trying to make it easier to possess you or it could simply be him wanting to make things right or being a dick." she admitted. "you know it's there though, and that gives you power over it." she admitted. "the key here is to figure out what the little sliver wants. it's not the first time a demon, or an angel, has left psychic imprints of themselves in human minds. Angels are much much more prone to it." she admitted. "many of you're saints are actually those who have had psychic imprints of angels left inside of them, coaxing them towards purity. but, once it's inside a person? that person influences it as well. you have some control over it, you influence it so it could very well be helping you. the power of the humans influence over the psychic imprint can be very impressive." she admitted. "over time, it will probobly become quite mellow. you're mental control is highly impressive. once you know what the imprint wants, it'll be easier to influence it." here she grinned. "Angels don't feel emotions Sam. not until they inhabit a human."

"you're very welcome." he said with a grin. "well... no, she didn't 'let' me out of bed but never said i had to stay in bed either." he admitted. "i don't need Sam and Lisa. i love Sam and Lisa. i Need you, because you where the only person... you're my rock, Cas. you're the only person who keeps me held together." he admitted. "i need you." he admitted softly before shaking his head. "you're not useless Cas, you never where." he promised. "i need you Cas. even if it's just emotionally." he admitted. "i need you. please don't leave me again." he pleaded, looking over when Lisa stepped in. "Cas! oh thank god. Cas!" she gasped, rushing over to her angel and wrapped her arms around him and began to weep, mumbling that she'd been so scared that he was never going to come back.
 
“Yes he can.”Sam sighed a little before looking thoughtful at the idea. “I dunno....I try to not think to hard about lucifer. He’s sorta....I dunno. Day by day, the visions change. Depending who I’m around, what’s happening,...”he shrugged before looking thoughtfully. “truly?You know. That makes sense really, that the saints were once angel vessels....”He said he was going to have to ask cas about that. That was fairly interesting really. “Yea, well considering how much crap has happened over the last 10 years, I had to have impressive control, otherwise I’d go stark raving mad.”He made a face a little.

“....Well. I’ll make you stay in bed. You need rest.”Cas said sounding grumpy that the other was up and moving, even if he hadn’t been there to tell dean to stay. Frowning a little at the others words, not looking to sure about what he was hearing, flushing ever so slightly. “...I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”He said, not about to tell either of them what he’d been up to in the time he was gone, before tensing as he was hugged, startling before looking up at lisa, shifting to sit down in the chair next to dean’s bed, settling her in his lap. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”He muttered, looking at dean, reassuring himself that the other needed him. Shifting lisa a little, so he could take dean’s hand, holding onto him.
 
"it's not a bad thing. not necessarily." she admitted. "it's not very good right now of course but it doesn't have to be a bad thing. if it does end up to be a bad thing, then there are ways that either i, or Castiel can do to remove it... it will hurt and it could cause brain damage which is why i would rather try other methods first, but there are ways to.. contain it, control it or modify it if it become a true problem for you." she promised. "and it's likely altering itself to suit various stimuli and situations." she admitted. "it's still trying to decide what... form, personality to adopt to settle with you, yourself th best." she admitted. "often times, this is how Schizophrenia is born." she admitted. "though that's typically because of Demonic attributes." she admitted. "not all of them of course, but some of them. the best ones. others where spoken to. or simply humans who where a little less broken or better at hiding it." she admitted with a smile before looking even more amused. "that's not what gives you you're mental control Sam." she admitted. "and holding it all in? isn't saving your sanity either."

"you can try you feathered ass." Dean huffed even as he settled into bed with a sigh, feeling wiped. exhausted even. he got so tired so easily. "you have to swear it Cas." Dean ordered softly. "please... don't leave me alone." he pleaded softly, his hand gripping Cas's, refusing to let go. Lisa smiled a litte as she held Cas tightly. "i'm so glad you're back Cas. i'm so glad you finally answered Dean... he prayed for hours you know you dick!" she complained, punching him, Dean sighing a little, blushing. he realized that he had never expected to be answered, so Cas had never actually hard the praying. woops.
 
“It might be a good thing...eventually. If it would stop being so damned....traumatizing.”Sam sighed a little, rubbing his hands over his face, because while he wanted to demand that she fix it now, he also knew that if he risked brain damage when he didn’t have to yet, dean would kill him in his sleep. “....That’s just what I need. Schizophrena on top of everything......I just want to be able to have sex without finding myself in the pit.”He whined a little, sounding whiny and put out, but it was true, and not about to admit he knew she was right. That he wasn’t doing well either at protecting himself from anything.

“I raised you out of predition, Winchester, I’m fairly certain I can keep you in a bed, for however long I wish.”Cas said, giving him a preverted little smirk, even if he was feeling exhausted himself. Even if he didn’t feel exhaustion the way dean was, it still got to him. “I’m not going anywhere. I swear it. On my grace, I’m not going anywhere....though I might let you go to the bathroom on your own. Maybe.”He said, simply to make dean smile, before sighing, glad as dean held his hand, slumping, relaxing with the knowledge that he was needed, even if he couldn’t heal him. Frowning a little. “....H-he did?”He said sounding confused and at a loss. “I....I’m sorry.”he hung his head, not realizing he’d never heard it. He hadn’t known.
 
"i don't know that you can ever hear Lucifer's voice without it being somewhat traumatizing." she admitted. "the memories connected are going to have to be worked through, but there's no saying that the psychic imprint is going to stay Lucifer. in time it's going to alter itself to suit you, meaning in time it won't be Lucifer anymore. it won't be you, but it will be a, mix of sorts. a combined personality and knowledge. his and yours." she admitted with a smile. "you won't have Schizophrenia." she promised. "the little voice doesn't have enough power over you for that." she admitted before smiling. "it will happen Sam. The Pit cannot hold you forever. Dean is proof of that." she reminded him. "once you face those feelings, confront them and overpower them, they will no longer have total power over you. you will remember still, but the memories won't be all consuming."

"You always use that line on me. it's not fair." he whined, smiling at Cas. "but i'm out of this bed as soon as you take off again you hear me?" he demanded before relaxing at Cas's swear, on his Grace even."thank you." he whispered, smiling. "you don't have to piss, remember?" he asked the other with a smile. "and i'm going to need help going to the bathroom anyway." he admitted. "it's my fult... i thought you wouldn't come." Dean admitted. "so i didn't pray like i would normally have." he admitted softly. "i didn't pray loud enough. because i thought that you didn't want to have to watch me die. i was stupid." he admitted.
 
“It’s probably not possible. I mean, lucy’s supposed to be sorta traumatizing, in that whole archangel sort of way.”He muttered relaxing, simply enjoying talking to her, and now that he was talking, starting to realize dean was right, it was okay to talk. “Hm, it would be nice to be able to use his knowledge without dealing with....well. His weird ass quips...he’s sorta....Ask dean. Lucy was just weird.”He made a face, because that knowledge of the devil being weird, was really more traumatizing to the youngest winchester then the idea that he was evil. “....Yea. Well. Dean’s weird. He sorta....bounces back like a bouncy ball.”He looked amused at the idea, because he’d used that comparison once, that dean was like a bouncy ball, even if thrown away, he bounced back twice as hard.

“It totally is fair. It’s the only way to get you to listen.”Cas smirked a little before raising a eyebrow. “I don’t have to sleep or eat, or shower or any other human things. What makes you think that I’m taking off again. You’re staying in bed, Dee.”He smirked at the hunter before shrugging. “But you do. I might consider letting you have some privacy for peeing. Maybe. If you behave.”He teased looking amused before sighing, realizing what had happened. “.....We were both stupid.”Cas muttered not about to admit why he had left, not when he knew now that lisa would bash his head in for the thoughts. At least dean was to weak at the moment to hit him.
 
"Well that's true." she agreed. "sometimes i forget he was... is, an Angel." she admitted before smiling at him. "i imagine there's a lot of information." she considered that for a moment. "i've never met him, but i've met those who have. they say he's... they oftn say it's not the being evil tht bothers them the most. it's how... childish he is." she admitted. "which makes sense. considering how old he is. he was the first of four and the youngest. the events that led him to where he was..." she sighed a little. "i wasn't alive for it, but my mother was." she admitted. "she was full on god. or as close as you could get without, you know? none of the old pagan gods where really gods. they where often the offspring of angels or Demons when they first started." she admitted. "they soon found that if they used certain ruls, rituals, they could become more powerful. my mother was one of the first of the ancient gods." she admitted, smiling at him. "she was an unholy bitch." she admitted before giggling a little. "sorry... sorry that's. i shouldn't laugh, but the thought of Dean being a bouncy ball... that's hilarious."

"i'm not gonna listen to you. i'm a grown adult, i can do whatever the hell i want." Dean growled before huffing and smiling at Cas. "dude. i can barely stand on my own. some help peeing would probobly be for the best." he admitted before he smiled sheepishly at Cas. "i've always been an idiot. what's your excuse feather-butt?" he demanded with a smile. "come snuggle with me while me and Lisa take a nap okay?"
 
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