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Policed (lady/moon)

"you are to cute to be a igor!"Tony yelled back at him as he left the room, laughing amused as he watched the other go. Yawning as he studied steve read the box he grinned. "Just toast them for 10 minutes, that should be long enough."He said huddling over his coffee cup as he sipped it.
 
"but... these don't fit in the toaster!" Steve protested, scowling at Tony. "just give me a second. i'll get through the instructions." he assured Tony before nodding. "okay. microwave for about ten minutes... weird, it says to leave them in the little plastic pouches, won't they melt?" he wondered even as he did as instructed before pouring himself a second cup of coffee. "...hey, where's Aria?" he wondered, a brief look of panic on his face as he realized Aria should have been awake before calming when he realized Tony would have been panicking if she was really missing.
 
Tony winced at the scowl, his shoulders rounding a little, responding to the other’s annoyance before shrugging. “Sorry.”He said before shrugging. “I guess not.”he said though he looked thoughtful before smirking a little. “Don’t panic. It’s okay.”He reassured, “Aria’s with natasha and james. She was very happy to be able to snuggle the person who's apparently become her new favorite napping spot. I think james has his work cut out for him."

"Nat?"James yawned stretching as he twisted his head to look towards the bedroom, wanting up, needing to but also not wanting to wake aria up, so he was enlisting help.
 
"...sorry. i didn't mean to yell at you." Steve said to Tony. "i'm just grumpy." he admitted before sighing a little. "okay... yeah. okay." he muttered, shaking his head. "sorry i had... i had dreams." he admitted. "i'm just being weird this morning. i'll be fine with some coffee.." and some booze. he had to snigger at the realization that James was winning over the wrong woman. "that's hilarious. oh well. it will be good practice for when Nat get's pregnant." he admitted with a smirk. "we all know it's gonna happen." he admitted.

"Natasha staggered out of the room and scowled at him. "what?" she demanded before blinking at Aria. "oh. right." she muttered, gently scooping Aria into her arms and walking off with her. "take a shower! you stink!" she chastised James. "Johnny brought you a change of clothes." she informed James, pointing at a duffel bag. strange thing was, neither James nor Steve gave Johnny a key, or an address to James place. well. he was a sneak.
 
“It’s okay.”Tony said calming a little before wincing. “I have no doubt you did. It was a rough night last night....until you steady some, you’re going to feel off. Just take it easy.”Tony said smiling a little as he sipped his drink before nodding. “Indeed. I’m sure he’s sulking about winning the wrong girl’s affections. And we do, it’s only a matter of when.”

James winced a little, “I have to piss.”he muttered smiling a little as aria simply snuggled into natasha still sleepy. “I do not!”He huffed making a face as he scooped up the duffel bag, looking bemused at it’s existence as he washed up, stepping out of the shower he smiled at the sight of natasha and aria. “What do you want to eat?”
 
he nodded. "yeah it was... i can't believe i freaked out like that." he admitted with a sigh and a shake of his head. "sorry for dragging you out of bed like that. i don't know why it was so important that it be you." he admitted, smiling rather sheepishly at Tony. "it did though. i needed you to come get me. you where the only person i could think of so... thanks for coming." he admitted.

"...don't use foul language in front of Aria!" she ordered, smacking him upside the head. "you do! you stink!" she complained. she was feeding Aria a small jar of baby food when he walked out. "eggs scrambled. with hot-sauce." she ordered. "a lot of hot sauce." she paused. "you do cook right?" sh demanded. "if you burn down my house i'm kicking your butt."
 
“It’s understandable. I freak out sometimes to, and I’ve been at it longer then you have.”He said smiling a little before tilting his head. “It’s okay, I’m serious. On’t worry about it. At least you didn’t make me go clear out of the city. Johnny did that to me once. And you’re welcome.”

“Sorry!”James yelped whining a little as he headed for the bathroom. “...Hot sauce?”He said looking amused as he ran a hand through his hair, straightening the wet strands before nodding as he gathered the things he’d needed. “I cook better then Steve does. And scrambled eggs are about the limits of my abilities though.”
 
he blinked a little. "you do?" he asked. "i didn't know you liked me..." he paused and then snorted. "yes i did. never mind that. that was a stupid blond moment." he admitted with a snort. "did he? what for?" he asked, curious now that he was done freaking out. "i didn't even.. you know. know i was gay until a few days ago..." he admitted. "it was the night after...." he rubbed his wrists. "this was my first time even looking at guys... i think i just, wanted it too much? went too fast? something like that." he admitted. "i guess i just wasn't ready..."

"yes. hot sauce." Natasha ordered. "well, be honest. everyone cooks better than Steve does." she teased with a smile at Aria. "what a big girl! eating all her breakfast!" she cooed at the little girl, wiping her face clean. "well, since you can make them, do so." she ordered, snapping her fingers at him. "and do it snappy, i want to go check on Tony and Steve." she admitted.
 
“Well, of course I like you. You’re letting me live with you, you know.and keeping me out of jail. It sorta endears you to me.”Tony said, quickly covering up what he’d admitted, not because he thought steve would hate him for like-liking him, but because he was actually fairly incapable of thinking anyone really wanted him, or would like him, so he generally refused to admit it when he liked people. Cause it took pepper and johnny years to figure out how he felt, simply because he was incapable of talking without being a jackass about it, flustered and annoyed. “Hm, something about needing sex right that minute, in the middle of the woods or something. It was horrible. It was nature, steve.”he whined a little before sighing, tilting his head a little. “Oh....yes. You rushed yourself. Just go slow, you’ll figure it out.”

“Well, that’s true.”James snickered a little laughing as aria giggled happily at the praise as he started to cook, smirking at her. “You better be glad I like my women bossy.”he teased as he finished the eggs, sliding them over to her with the hot sauce and starting to eat himself. Nodding. “I want to check them to. Tony looked upset when he stopped by.”James said looking worried.
 
Steve smiled a little. "i like you too Tony." he admitted. "but i meant i was surprised you liked Men." he admitted with a smile. "which was stupid, because i knew you where bisexual. i walked in on you and Johnny often enough." he admitted with a snort. "don't tell anyone but that's actually why i started thinking i was gay." he admitted. "seeing a man that looked exactly like me doing things like that... it was...." he shook his head. "shockingly like an epiphany." he admitted before blinking at Tony. "you solve some of the most disgusting murders ever witnessed by mankind and nature is what gets you?" he asked, wondering if Tony was actually insane the way people thought he was? "yeah, i guess so. i hope Terry's not mad. he was really nice." he admitted.

"she rolled her eyes at him. "you won't win." she informed him. "The only reason your here at all is because Steve has dirt on me." she huffed, scarfing down the eggs. "yeah. i think Steve went out and did something stupid last night." Nat admitted. "at least, i think Steves name was somewhere in that babble Tony gave us when he dropped Aria off." she admitted with a shake of her head.
 
“Ah. Yea. Well, liking men is sorta best of both worlds. I mean, who wouldn’t want to have sex with me? This way, I’m pleasing as many people as possible.”Tony grinned, even if steve knew it was a lie, because well, as much as he played the man-whore, there’d only ever been a rumor of him actually sleeping with pepper and johnny. “Hmm, yes. I could see how that could be epiphany inducing. It’s sorta weird how much you two look like each other really.”He said snickering a little before whining quietly. “It’s nature, steve. There was bugs, and slugs, and sleeping on the ground, and no cell phones and he made me go rock climbing and it was horrible!”Tony sulked a little before smiling. “I’m sure he’s not. But you can always give him a call if your really worried.”

“I always win. Eventually.”James said grinning at her, before pouting. “You mean, you didn’t do it cause I needed a good night’s sleep?Which I got, thanks. I feel better then I have in days.”He grinned a little before nodding. “I think so to.”He sighed a little as he finished eating, slipping his boots on, “Ready to go home kiddo?” “Home!Kitty!Gabbie. Papa!”
 
Steve laughed a little. "i can think of lots of people." he admitted. "Natasha, Phil, Clint, James..." he recited, pretending to count on his fingers. "Fury, Hammer, Fitz, Jemma, Maria Hill, Loki, Thor, let's see. who else wouldn't want to have sex with you?" he mused playfully. "it's really, really weird." he agreed, shaking his head. "like, super creepy." he admitted before smirking a little as Tony complained. "you? and physical exercise and fresh air? say it isn't so." he teased, shaking his head. "i don't think i have his number. that's his blanket though right? i should really give it back..."

"you'll win never." she shot back, rolling her eyes. "no. i did not. i did it because your friend blackmailed me and because i want you in better health so you can keep finding out what happened to Pepper." she admitted before smiling, glad that Aria was already thinking of Steve's house as Home. "that's right. home. Kitty and Gabbie." she agreed, smiling at her. "come on Squirrel. let's get going." she agreed, gathering the little girl into her arms to go find out what happened that had Tony in such a panic.
 
“lies, all lies. Everyone wants me.”Tony said snickering playfully, pouting at the other’s list. Making a face at the other’s teasing, “Hey. I get plenty of exercise, sex counts as exercise. Being outside and climbing in nature, is disturbing and not fun. There wasn’t even fun sexy times at the end, sex in a tent is not fun.”he whined a little, before smiling. “It is. We might not have his number, but I have his address. We can just drop it off.”

“I will.”James said stubbornly, before pouting. “I’ll fin out what happened to pepper even if I was dead tired. You like me. You were nice.”James said sounding amused and determined, before grinning at aria’s words. “Squirrel?”He asked looking amused as they headed out. “Papa!”Aria said nearly flinging herself out of natasha’s arms when she saw tony, eager to get to her papa. “Hey, Aria.”Tony smiled catching her, holding her close.
 
"i think you're just in denial." Steve teased Tony with a chuckle and a shake of his head. "se totally does not count as exercise." Steve scoffed. "...unless maybe i was doing it wrong? i don't think i was, they always left looking really happy anyway." he admitted. "maybe it's because i was bored?" he mumbled. "maybe that's why it didn't feel like exorcise?" he mumbled before shrugging and grinning at Tony. "of course there wasn't any sexy fun times, you where probobly too busy bitching." he admitted with an impish grin before nodding. "i'd like to take his blanket back and apologize to him. he was really sweet about the whole thing." he admitted before looking up at the door when James and Natasha came in.

"i spit in your coffee." she informed him. "and laughed at your penis while you where sleeping." she stated, draining the last of her own coffee before chuckling a little. "yep, because she's as hyper as a Squirrel and Tony protested Chipmunk." she admitted with a grin, chuckling as she kept hold of Aria until Tony was close enough to gather her up safely. "morning you two." Steve chirped. "good morning Steve. everything okay?" "yeah, it's fine. i just had a panic attack." Steve admitted with a sigh. "i got all worked up and freaked myself out and for some reason all i could think of was 'tony will save me' so the guy i was with called Tony." he admitted with a shake of his head. "i've never been more mortified in my entire life." he admitted with a sigh.
 
Sex totally does count.”Tony made a face before snorting. “And you’re definitely doing it wrong if it was boring.”he said before sulking. “I was not bitching. It was politely filing a compliant. Not bitching.”He grumbled. “Yea, we’ll do that then.”

“...”He eyed his coffee, smirking. “Hmm, I knew you wanted to swap spit with me. And honey, if you’d seen it, you’d know there was nothing to laugh about in that department.”he said before laughing. “Ahhh, I see.”he said looking amused at the nickname, smiling a little at steve, looking worried. “Steve!”Aria demanded leaning closer to steve as tony sat back down. “We’re okay.”Tony promised looking at the other two. “Good....and I don’t know if I find insulted or not, but I’m glad you called for help.”James teased his friend a little, nudging him. “Dude, I know of more mortifying moments, this doesn’t even crack your top ten.”
 
"i think it was more that they where women than it was that it was boring." he admitted. "being that i thought i was straight and all." he admitted before snorting. "you where bitching."

"...that's disgusting." Natasha said, honestly looking disgusted. "like i'd look at that pathetic thing." she scoffed. "hello Angel Eyes." Steve said with a chuckle, picking her up and cradling her with a chuckle. "yeah well... i did call for help and that's what's important right? and you keep our lips shut about those filthy lies Barnes." Steve ordered, flushing brightly.
 
“I know. But you’re the one who spit in my coffee, instead of kissing me. It seems right to gross you out.”he sulked a little before huffing, making a face. “it’s not pathetic!”She huffed. “and that is the important part.Not filthy lies, and I’m sure Tony’d be interested in hearing them.”James smirked. “No, I’ll wait till steve wants to tell me.”Toyn said looking amused as aria snuggled into steve’s chest with a smile.
 
she wrinkled her nose at him. "i will never understand why people ever think you ever had even a tenth of a chance." she admitted. "or a hundredth." "well i'm afraid you'll never hear them because they are filthy lies and they never happened." Steve said with a sniff before grinning at Aria. "can you say, James is a dirty liar?" he asked the little girl with a grin. "hey, don't teach her that!" Natasha protested. "you'll never get her to stop!" "...and that's a problem?" "it is when she starts inserting other people's names in." "...good point."
 
“You know you love me. You’re just being stubborn.”James huffed a little before snickering a little at tony’s disappointed look. “Ah, well. That’s okay. I have plenty of embarassing things about myself that I don’t need your stories.”Tony said looking amused before wincing. “Yea, she already has enough sayings. Don’t teach her-” “Liar!”Aria giggled happily, bouncing in steve’s lap a little.
 
"no. your being the creepy obsessive stalker." Natasha stated. "they never happened!" Steve yelled before beaming at Aria. "that's a girl!" he chirped happily with a laugh. "so Nat, was James well behaved for you last night?" "he was fine. i had to smack him on the nose when he pissed on my floor though." she admitted, making Steve laugh. "and he has this nasty habit of barking every time he sees me. i'm just glad he's finally stopped humping my leg."
 
James stopped, tilting his head a little, not quite looking as sure of himself as he normally did, before snickering at aria’s words. Aria beamed up at steve, smiling happily. “I’m always well behaved.”James said sulking a little as he eyed them both. “And I didn’t hump you!” “Even if he wanted to.”Tony snickered ignoring the brunette’s glare as he stood. “I better get to work.”James growled sounding annoyed as he dropped a kiss on aria’s forehead before heading for the door.
 
"hey." Natasha looked James over just as he was about to leave before tossing him a key. "if you have issues tonight, you can use my couch again... and he's not winning! wipe that smirk off your faces!" she yelled at Tony and Steve, Steve who was indeed snickering. "James! your winning!" Steve crowed with a laugh. "she might actually let you hump her leg now! OW! violent!" Steve complained, clutching his arm where she'd flat out punched him.
 
James startled as he caught the keys, nodding. “Okay. Thanks.” “Definitely humping is going to happen.”Tony agreed, laughing as natasha hit steve, looking amused as james left. “You’re so cute. Do we need to give you the sex talk?”Tony said smirking at his detective, wincing as Aria grabbed onto the new word. “sex!” “No, don’t say that Aria.”

James poked his head into tony’s-currently johnny’s- office, knocking lightly. “You texted?Said you had news. Sorry, I meant to come earlier, but me and Nat stopped to check on steve and tony before I came in.”
 
"what!? piss off Tony!" Natasha hissed, delighted because Aria never, ever copied her, so she could say whatever she wanted. "...you know. i think Natasha would make the most awesome mother in the world." Steve admitted. "can you imagine it? a six year old who can kill you six different ways with a sippy cup but has the vocabulary of a princess." Steve teased, smirking at Nat who rolled her eyes and punched him again, in the same spot, eliciting an actual wince.

"yeah..." Johnny admitted, looking rather pale as he motioned for James to sit down, sliding over the report he had gotten. "Pepper was pregnant."
 
“I think it’s been so long, you might actually need the talk.”Tony said thoughtfully looking amused as she hissed at them. “She really would. And I can see that kid. Especially if she’s Barnes, she’d look like this sweetly adorable thing, even while she’s killing you with her sippy cup.”Tony agreed grinning as he stood and headed for the living room with aria before she could hit him, smiling as he settled on the floor with girl and animals to play.

“You look rather sick.”James said sounding concerned as he sat, taking the report, then going rather pale himself. “A few weeks along. Damn.”he cursed quietly, wincing. “...I wonder if her killer knew. Since tony didn’t say anything, he didn’t know but....maybe that’s why they killed her now. If this really was a strike against tony, it’d make sense if they tried to do it while she was pregnant, if they didn’t know Aria was actually his, they might assume she was seeing someone behind his back, got pregnant, and set it up to look like he’d killed her in a jealous rage...”
 
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