he nodded. "i'll tell him then. later. i suppose James should probobly read it too. there's things in there he didn't know that i want him too." he admitted, fidgeting. "i just... i can't talk about them. not yt. but i want him to know. because... because..." he shook his had, unable to voice what he was feeling. he wanted James to know because he loved and trusted James and he thought if James knew then James could help because James could fix almost anything. "i think this looks good right?" he asked, smiling at the room, pleased. he'd keep the other room open for James and Fitz then. in case they needed to stay the night or something. he smiled when he heard Fitz sleepily ask Tony if he brought back any sweets and Johnny handed the file to James before heading out to see what Thor and Loki had made for lunch. Steve scarpered too because he didn't want to be in the same room as all the traumas of his past. most things in there James already knew. like how Steve had voluntarily left the foster family after his mother died and joined boot camp instead. how Peggy had died and how living with Sarah had been extremely oppressive. he even knew about the three week 'christian camp program' Steve went to when they where thirteen.
the things he didn't know? that three week christian camp was because she had caught Steve masturbating and had suspected he was gay and sent him to the camp to 'beat the sin out of him'. it was supposed to have been a four week program but the police had found out the counselors and priests there where beating, starving and abusing the kids there. what he hadn't known was the reason why Steve was removed from the foster family was because he stabbed the male guardian after he 'fiddled' with Steve. forced oral was as far as it had gone before Steve defended himself, but it explained his hatred for rape, force and coercion into bedroom activities. James knew about the cutting, but he didn't know about the cocaine addiction that was listed in the files. James knew most of what Steve had been through, but he didn't know the worst things. it made sense now, why he hadn't been overly affected by Sarah's death. the woman had been nearly abusive in her desire to make sure Steve was a good, straight, god fearing man and she had driven out nearly any ability to love at all until Peggy had lit up his life. with her death he was lucky he even had a mind left. the information about Steve's friendship with Fitz's father was detailed in there and how after peggy's slaughter by the Mob, the murder of Theo Fitz had started a lifelong goal to make sure every Man in the Mob was punished. it was extremely prejudiced, but one couldn't really blame Steve for that. especially when you took into account that Steve probobly had a very large crush on Theo. even if he hadn't really realized he was gay back then. Steve's life had been hell. people he trusted had hurt him. people he loved slaughtered by the Mob. yeah, it explained a lot.