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A Niche in Time

Another night turned to early morning, and I'm still awake. Two nights in a row. I have to try and get some sleep. I even opened up a 300 piece puzzle. I know. That's not big. I still finished it. I have to sleep. I hope this is good night BMR.
 
A couple of songs for the day. This first one has been on my mind today. Did you ever wake up, start your day, and a song begins to play on your mind? That was sort of the case with this one. I heard it when I was spending time with my guy. My guy who is now my former guy. One month ago today I told him we should call it quits. I digress.


View: https://youtu.be/UWr4yjxNKzA


This other song, well....I like it.


View: https://youtu.be/J6sIK2KnhH8


Have a good day BMR.
 
Is sexting cheating? This issue has two sides, clearly. Some will say yes. Some will say. I'm curious what people think and why.
 
Puzzles are a weakness. I don't put a puzzle together that often. Last night I sat down with a puzzle, and I didn't stop until it was together. Now tonight I have a new one, sitting there in the box, begging, asking me to put it together. I haven't opened it though. I guess it's the sense of accomplishment with a puzzle that I like. How the pieces all fit together, forming this beautiful picture is something I like. Guess, in a sense, that's how rps are. All the pieces come together to form this interesting story. I actually found myself looking at the request threads today. A friend of mine at work is reading this book with a good plot. I think it would make for an intriguing rp. A married man takes out a loan that certainly wasn't backed by a bank. Tragically he passes before being able to repay the loan. He and his wife owned their own business. They made whiskey. So the loan shark comes calling for his debt. The wife explains her husband is the one who took out the loan, she had no idea he had done so, he was now dead, and the loan wasn't hers' to repay. The loan shark disagrees. Of course she doesn't have that kind of cash. So he takes it out in another way. She will repay him with sexual acts. I know. It's been done before on BMR. *shrugs*

I also find myself in the mood for something that I haven't done in a while. The last time I indulged in a rp like this @DeRe was the partner I worked with. I'm in the mood for a rp that involves pain, and I don't mean the emotional kind. That kind would be welcomed as well, but real, intense, bloody pain. @DeRe certainly was able to bring that to the table. It's a nasty, dark craving that flares up every once in a while. Makes me think about a girl who agrees to go through three....I don't know the proper the word for it....but she agrees to go through three 'times', I guess, where the man she is opposite of is allowed to indulge in his darkest fantasies with her. Of course they can take a turn towards that craving of mine. Why would she agree to do that? Simple. He's going to give her anything in the world she desires.

Well, now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try and enjoy the rest of my evening. Oh wait. It's actually morning here. 12:41am. Well then. I'm going to enjoy my early morning hours. lol. Have a good day BMR.
 
I like these late, or early, hours. The lights are off in my bedroom, but I hate to sleep in total darkness. So I have a lamp that I leave on. It lights up my bedroom but with a softer light. It's cooler. Anybody who lives where it's so hot you feel like you could cook an egg outside on the sidewalk right now appreciates that. Around here, fall is a southerner's reward for going through the summer. My reward is coming, but for now, there is a cool front here. I still have my window ac going. Of course I do. lol. This is probably my favorite time. The world outside is quiet and asleep. I could walk outside right now, and the world is mostly silent. I would hear the bugs that like to fill the night air with their song. There's a dog or two in the neighborhood that would probably bark. A stray car might drive by the main roads that are close by. I might even see one at the stoplight that is just by my place. I'd wonder where in the world they were going at this hour, and I'd probably wish I was going too. Aside from that, the world is fast asleep, dreaming and getting ready for the day that awaits them. Me? I'm reveling in the peace and quiet. When everything is silent and motionless, then there is no need for me. I like that. It's my time to stop. Today was one of the few days where I actually do stop. I didn't do anything for anyone other than myself. It's a rare thing, a very rare thing. It was either this year or last year that it was three or four months into the year when I finally got a day like that. I can't really remember. So today I lounged in bed the day. I fell asleep for a couple of hours. I took an afternoon shower and washed my hair. It was perfect. So have a good day, or a good night, BMR.
 
So is having cyber sex cheating? If one, or both, of the parties involved are in a relationship, is it cheating? It's over the phone or computer. They're not in the same room. They're not even in the same town. They both know each other, and in fact, at one time, they were seriously involved. As this unfolds though, they are not. It's a legit question.

I also think that most married people, and I use the term people as it can happen to both men and women, become complacent. They think their significant other will not stray. So they begin to pay less attention to them. They may not even do things the other one find enjoyable in the bedroom. You know what that leads to? I'm sure you do. If you are with someone, married or not, don't become complacent. Don't think they won't ever leave you. Don't think you don't have to keep showing them that you care. It's a mistake if you do, and you may regret it.

Please excuse the above ramblings at this hour. Thank you. Have a good day BMR.
 
I want to go take a late shower, but I'm kind of hesitating. Last night I slipped and fell when I was getting into the shower. My leg is scrapped up. Also my knee is a little sore. I have some slight bruising on my thigh too. So yeah, I'm a little on edge about getting in the shower again. Slow and steady and be careful. Gotta remember that.
 
I am off from work this weekend. Why? Not because it's going to be a beautiful weekend. Not because I'm going anywhere special. So why be off? Because of Sunday. Yes Sunday. The day that a most amazing event took place in history. What you may ask is it? Why it's my birthday. So what do I want for my birthday? Just a happy, peaceful day.
 
Just a few more minutes left for October 4 2020. My birthday started out on a bad note, but it's closing on a good one. Plus, Lord willing, I will get to go out for dinner tomorrow night with family. Here's hoping everyone had a good day today. Good night BMR.
 
I just wanted to say to anyone that I've been plotting with or working with that I've gone radio silent a bit this weekend because it was my birthday. I plan on getting back on track tomorrow. So if we've been talking at all, I haven't forgotten. It's just been busy this weekend. Tomorrow the reality. lol. Have a good day BMR.
 
I just wanted to write a quick message to let my partners know that the past few days have been hectic, more so than usual. No one has been forgotten. Even my lunch hour has been altered a couple of days, and that is the time that I do most of my writing as of late. Today it looks like things could be going normal. So maybe I can get some writing done. This coming week I have some time off. Again. So here's hoping I can get even more accomplished. Have a good day BMR.
 
I have a lot of things that I want to get done. There are replies, an opener, plus messages here on BMR that I want to respond to. The thing is, I'm way behind. lol. Think about the days you're running behind for something. Perhaps you overslept. Your alarm didn't go off, or you simply turned the alarm off and went back to sleep. You wake up in a panic, rushing about your day, and while you may make it to work on time, there's a chance you feel behind all day. Well that about sums it up. lol. I have overslept, and now I feel like I'm behind. There have been some personal things going on. Plus the break room at my job, a place where I do work on replies, is being renovated courtesy of the company. So it's in shambles. I literally was sitting in the manager's office with my laptop the last day I worked. So it's not what I'm accustomed to. So please, if we're working on something, plotting, or you're waiting on an opener from me, I haven't forgotten. I just slept through my alarm. Have a good night BMR.
 
Sorry for being slow with replies and starters. Some family drama going on. Started yesterday.
 
Family drama has passed, and the busy Halloween is done. So now it's time to get some replies posted. Going to do some writing this week and get them done.
 
Well I had to order a new laptop. Nothing fancy, of course. I just wanted something that could handle what I do. No need for bells and whistles. It just had to be able to connect to the net and allow me to post on a few sites. I also had to be able to store pictures on it. The laptop I'm using now is still a decent one. I just need to buy a new battery for it and have someone look at the charging port. I have to maneuver the cable a certain way for it to get a charge. Sure I can get the new batter and the port fixed, which I plan on doing later so this laptop can be a back up one, but it costs too much money to do that right now. I know that has to sound crazy considering I bought a brand new one. lol. There's a reason I could do that. The place I work at offers us access to a site that allows us to purchase items and have the payments taken out of our paycheck. The amounts they take at a time aren't bad. Sure I'm paying more than the product is worth, yes, but at the convivence of being able to buy it without paying full price all at once. So I took advantage of it. It's also how I afforded to buy my cell phone and IPOD in fact. lol. What can I say? I love my tech.

I'm working today. Have a good day BMR.
 
Glad you've sorted out your computer trouble. And that you are ok.

Can't wait to hear more from you x
 
I was chatting with one of my exs tonight. He is one of the few relationships that really affected me. Losing him changed me. For the better? Depends on how you look at it I guess. lol. He asked me if I still had his phone number. I told him no. He then sent it to me and asked me to call him. Well I was at work on my lunch hour. I didn't call him. Silly right? This is a man who has seen me naked, had sex with me, and I didn't call him. He and have been chatting lately. That chatting has gone to some erotic moment. Okay yes, I am sexting this man. We have had cyber sex. Call it whatever you want. It's different than some random guy I would only know online. He's someone I know. There is a face to the name. There is a history to the name. I couldn't call him because what if all there is to this is just having fun sexting? If we start talking on the phone, what if I don't feel anything? What if I do feel something? He actually wanted to visit with me and my mom. Yes, she knows him. Of course she knows him. He and I were serious. I lied to him to keep him from coming over. I think that was before sexting, but I'm not sure. Anyway I sat there for a moment. Then I got up, wanting to show the conversation to my work bestie. I realized I only had ten minutes left on my lunch. So instead of walking out there, coming back to clock in, and then walking back out to the sales floor again, I would just clock back in and head on to the sales floor. So I texted him that I had to go and lunch was almost over. He texted back, "Ok. Just wanted to hear your voice for a minute." Guys, here's a tip. That is such a sweet thing to say, or in this case text. I just don't know. What if I talk to him, and I feel something? What if I talk to him and I don't? We have fun sexting here and there? Why do I want to talk to him, but at the same time, I don't? Why can't I come up with another question besides this one? I have my reasons for being afraid one way or the other. If I feel something, then that could cause a whole other mess of things. If I don't, then the fun we've been having might come to an end. So why can't we just leave it alone and keep going the way we are? I know things never stay the same. Believe me, I know that, but this?

Oh and update, the new laptop works ok. Have a good night, or day as the case is here, BMR.
 
I live with controlling parents in my life. Sure I don't live with them. I am an adult, and as part of that, I enjoy living in my own place. I live close by them though. Don't get me wrong. I love my mom. I think I've expressed that here before. She's my best friend. Over time though, she's become so....controlling. I wake up and have to go to her house. I stay there, helping out with whatever or whomever, until it's time for me to go to work. I have gotten a couple of phone calls lately that take me to her house when I get off from work. Tonight I was leaving her house to come home and she tells me she needs me to be at her house at 9:15. Of course she gives me a reason why. Still she thinks I'm working tomorrow. Why does she think that? Because in order to get a day off, a day where no one needs me to do anything at all, I had to plan this by asking for a day off from my job and basically lie to my family. Those are the lengths I had to go to in order to get this. I can't remember the last time I did have a day off like this. I'm pretty sure I was sick in order to get it. It seems to be about the only way I can get a day off. So I'm gonna fake in order to take it. I don't like that I have to do that. I hate lying, but if I tell her the truth, she'll have me down there at her house all day and into the night. I'll have to stay there even after she's gone to work to help out. Now just stand up to her you might say. That's a good idea. Why haven't I thought about that? Hmmm. Let me see. Because there is something that I'm not comfortable mentioning here that my family helps me out with that they can, will, and have threatened me with. They would take away this thing I'm not mentioning, and no, it's not money. It is something that I need though. Twice now they have threatened me with it. Plus the guilt would eat at me. I'm feeling guilty about tomorrow if I'm honest, but I have to take a day for myself. I have to do this. I just need for everything to stop just for one single day. So get ready world. I'm putting the brakes on tomorrow as I fake it to take it. Have a good night BMR.
 
Well, as it turns out I had the day off today. No one has needed me for anything today. Earlier this week I had to lie to my family to get a day off, and today it just happens. Funny how that happens. Two days off in one week. I won't have another one until next month now. Well, that's if the day I asked off for gets approved.

Today I was browsing through the request threads. I get restless. Taking on too many rps has gotten me in trouble in the past. So I'm trying not to do that. I do have a taste for a teacher/student rp. I had one going once. It ended, much to my dismay. That's how it goes. As for it how goes, I guess I should make this entry short and sweet. The night is still early. It's only 9:25 pm here. Have a good night BMR.

Edit: Just because I wanted to.
My current works of art
Untitled (I really don't know if we gave this one a name or not)-Tanakalian-Discord
When Reality and Fantasy Become One-Tyr-Email
Shelter From The Storm-Mathim-General Roleplay Thread
What Might Have Been-Reydan-General Roleplay Thread

There is another one on Discord that I'm not mentioning, but I'm up for writing for it at any time if she is willing.
 
The holiday season is upon us. When I first started at my job, they would play Christmas music constantly. The past two years they've had it on a different station. The music is more enjoyable than what they normally play. A Christmas song is played every third song. So most people enjoy that as well. Me? I listen to Christmas music at home. I love Christmas music. I have pulled it up on youtube on the computer at work behind the paint desk. lol. Every week I've been wearing a different hairband that is decorated for Christmas. I already have one for New Year as well. Where there is a desk at work, that department has chosen to decorate. So at my store the service desk, pro desk, millwork desk (windows and doors), flooring desk, and of course the paint desk are all decorated. I love it. Lights, snowflakes, a mini Christmas tree, and a few other things. It's pretty. I've done most of my Christmas shopping as well. Last Saturday I went shopping with my mom. We went to the mall for starters. After that, we hit three other stores. It was a long, fun day. After we were done shopping, we went to her house to wrap gifts. While wrapping the first gift, I wasn't paying attention and cut my hand. Nothing bad. Just a cut.

Now today I'm off. I don't have much planned. A trip to town here in a bit with my mom. Maybe pick up something to eat. Going to be busy after that with something. I need to do some cleaning tonight. Perhaps cook something good for dinner. Open for suggestions. Personally, I like chicken. Actually, I love chicken. lol. Nuggets, fried, baked, sauteed with butter and seasonings. lol. You can't go wrong with chicken. Of course, I'll be listening to Christmas music when I cook and clean.

Sadly I think some of my rps are dead in the water. I don't want to send out messages to my partners about it, as I know it can take me a while to reply to a rp. So I may wait, but the feeling is still there that at least two of my rps are dead. It's alright. I'm saddened, of course, but it's the nature of the beast. I ran a plot idea by a good friend and partner last night. I wanted his thoughts on it. Let me just say the is about it. He said he was up for taking on the plot with me. lol. So I guess it wasn't that bad. Coming soon to a general rp thread near you. *insert female characters name here* was burdened by the everyday challenges of life. Bills, worry, stress, everyone at her job always looking to her for the answers. It was weighing her down. One evening, while walking towards her apartment, she stops, taking note of a large Christmas tree. There were families around it, all chatting away, with happy, smiling faces. She sighs, remembering how easy things were when she was a kid. There's a man dressed as Santa there, giving out candy canes to the children. It looked like a scene out of a movie. He sees her watching and smiles and waves. She returns the smile and waves to him as well. He gestures for her with a candy cane to cross the street. She shakes her head no but still offers him a smile. He nods, understanding. As he returns his attention back to the kids she says, "you wanna know what I want for Christmas fat man? I wish I were a kid again." Thinking no one heard her, she turns and heads inside her apartment building, but boy was she wrong. Santa turns back after she has disappeared inside. "Merry Christmas," he says, touching his nose and winking. The next morning she hears someone calling her name. Her eyes pop open. Something is certainly different. Something has changed. Of course, more things are going to change as she gets her Christmas wish. Ladies and gents, The Christmas Wish.

Now, it's beyond time for me to be up and going. I have to be somewhere shortly. So have a good day BMR.
 
Well, it's official. I sent out the messages to my partners of three different rps acknowledging that I think it's safe to say the rp is dead. *sighs* It's tough. I thought about bumping my rt, but I don't know. I still have an opener to write for A Christmas Wish. I know realizing a rp is dead is not something that's new to anyone here. We've all been there I'm certain.

It's late here. Actually its early. 2:26 a.m. So I think I'll take a hot shower and climb into bed. Have a good day BMR.
 
Well, it's late, and I should be in bed. Instead, I'm sitting here on my bed typing this. Today is Sunday. I have work today. Today is different from the rest of the week. My hours shift, they change, when I work Sundays. It's still the same amount of hours, but instead of leaving at 10pm, I leave at 8pm. So it feels like an early night for me. I love Sundays that are like this. That is followed by my usual Monday off. After that, I work Tuesday and Wednesday. Then, of course, I'm off for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Last week I had some tough news that I received. My ex was killed in a car accident. He was my first. My first first. So even though we hadn't spoken in a while, it was still tough. After our relationship ended, he didn't take it very well. There was some trouble, some drama, that came up as a result. It was tough to deal with. Well, this week I received some more bad news. Another one of my exs contacted me. Someone in his family took her life. So it's been a tough couple of weeks. The services for her are Monday night, but I don't think I can go. One reason being my ex will be there with his wife. That could be awkward. Well, there is no could be about it. It would be. There are other factors too. I don't own dress clothes. Dresses are a big no. I own two skirts. That's it. No dress shoes. My shirts aren't that fancy. I work in a hardware store for pity's sake. I don't own dressy clothes. I'm not a girly girl like that. I don't even own makeup. I don't wear it. The girliest girl thing I do is wear perfume. lol. Even then, I don't wear it all the time. I'm just not into owning a ton of shoes or purses. It's just not me. I digress. So getting dressed up to go to a funeral isn't in the cards for me. Still, I feel bad for going. I know the family, but on that same token, I KNOW the family. She was young too. Not even 18. She seemed happy, from what I'm told. It just goes to show you don't know what's going through someone's mind or heart. So reach out to people. Make a call. Send a text. It might mean the world to them. In this day and age, with social distancing a normal part of our days, reaching out means even more. So please, make an effort if you can. Reach out. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Ask how they're doing. It might not seem like much to you, but to them, it could be big.

So I will think of both of these people as the holiday draws closer. Two lives that have tragically come to an end. They left their impression on this world. They left people behind. Live your lives, people. Try not to have too many regrets. Because once they're gone, they're gone. Have a good night BMR.
 
On this Christmas Eve, I wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Please be safe.

Now having said that, I haven't really written much of anything. I have pms I haven't read. So please don't think you're being ignored or forgotten. I'm just putting things off for a bit. So once again whatever you celebrate, however you celebrate it, may it be happy and safe. Have a good day BMR.
 
Well, Santa has come and gone. The Christmas season is over. I hate it to be honest. I love listening to Christmas music. Yesterday was spent with my family. We had Christmas dinner together. My mother is an amazing cook, and as always, she cooked way too much food. No worries. Some of it left her home in various containers. Personally, I have lunch today because of her. After dinner was finished, of course, there was more. Mom always prepares snacks as well. Now, why do you need snacks after Christmas dinner you may ask. That's easy. Because opening gifts is an event at my parent's house. It doesn't take as long as it once did mind you, but it still takes long enough for them to have one break yesterday, and the smokers in the group were wanting another one. That break was denied by my mom, who said she didn't have that much more to give out. My mom always plays Santa and hands out the gifts. Even if they're not the ones she bought, she hands them out. Yesterday's attendance was as follows: My brother and his wife, my younger brother, my mom, my dad, myself, four other family members, and one who is not family. So my brother and his wife brought gifts. I brought gifts. My younger brother had gifts. Plus there were other gifts that had been brought. So yeah. We had a full house. We were missing two other people, but it's fairly understood why they were not there. There was a problem last year, 2019, at Thanksgiving. These two haven't been back since. It's met with mixed feelings. One of them is welcomed back with open arms easily, but the other? I can't say for sure. She was a big part of the problem, and I know for a fact that some of the family do not want her there. So. *shrugs* All in all the day was great. Everybody had a good time. The food was delicious, as always. Everybody loved their gifts. We had a Chinese auction after all the gifts had been given out and the mess was cleaned up. When I got home last night, I laid down, still wearing my jacket and shoes. I fell asleep. lol. It was an exhausting day, but the memories were worth it. I hadn't seen my brothers in so long. Fun fact. My brothers are both over 6 feet tall. I am 5' 6.5. So yeah. I'm short compared to them. It's okay. My younger brother hugged me when he was leaving. He said, "Bye Stump." I told him, "Bye shorty." lol. I love my family. There may be times I would trade them for a nickel, but they're my family. The gifts and food were great, but nothing compares to being able to spend another Christmas with them. I know the day will come when I can't do that, and all I'll have are my memories. I'm glad I got the chance to make some yesterday.

Well work waits for no one. I have to return back to the real world today. So have a good day BMR.
 
I can't seem to get back on a normal schedule. So I do apologize for unanswered pms and everything else I'm behind on. Please, bear with me.
 
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