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A Niche in Time

I haven't written anything here in quite a while. So here goes. Things are as busy as ever. Still working a full time job. On that front, we have recently acquired a new associate. Her nickname is Shiny. Why Shiny, you may ask. Because she has never worked for the company before and she's younger than I am. New associates always have that shiny look about them. We also have a new manager that transferred from another store. You see, he thought he was coming to take over the department I work in. Well he found the other day when he came in to check the place and some of the people out that he in fact is not coming to my department. No he's going to a different department, and if the rumors I've heard are true, I think he works in that department at the store he's transferring from. So again, if the rumors are true, he got angry over the fact that he's not coming to my department. They are moving around associates within the store as well. You see, that's part of why I don't want to take a promotion. They can, and will, move you around, whether you want to or not. You basically sign away your soul when you take a promotion. No thanks. I'm staying right where I am. We did have a bit of a safety issue that effected my department. If you've ever been inside a Home Depot, then you know the overhead spaces contain wooden pallets with product on them wrapped in shrink wrap. We had an associate putting up a pallet that contained flooring, I believe. He pushed the pallet off the back end of the shelf. This pallet fell through the signage and lights on the aisle behind it. Guess which department that was? Ding! Ding! Mine! Yeah. When it was cleaned up, they ended up taking the whole top section with the signage out. So now there's this gaping opening. So yeah. That happened. I think the store was closed when it did. Nobody was injured, which of course is a good thing.

Still seeing the same man. Yep. That's still going on. We see each other almost every day. That relationship is still complicated, but it's working. I'm crazy about him, and he's crazy about me. Which makes him just crazy. lol. We actually met at work. He no longer works there. He likes his current job though. He had two jobs while he was working there. So he just went to the other one. There is this one thing that bugs me to no end, and I want to work on it. Jealousy. Yep. I'm so jealous of this one girl he knows. You see, she worked at the same store too. He wanted her. She wanted him. They spent some time together. There was some touching, both over and under clothing. He kissed her neck but not her lips. In the end, she wanted something different. So fast forward to now, and they are still friends. She got into some trouble a while back, and he helped her out. That meant he spent a couple of his days off with her. Now they still text. She has changed his name on messenger to the pumpkin emogi followed by the word eater. Pumpkin eater. Get it? Don't worry. Neither did I. My apron at work is orange. Starting to get it now? Yeah. Her mother works at the same store I work at. There was this one day she came up there to visit her mother. She was with her boyfriend, and my boss pointed out that is was her. Well I go to lunch for an hour, come back, get back to work, and there she goes, walking right by the desk I work at talking to my boss. So she comes to my job and changed his name on messenger to something I take slight offense to. He says she's being facetious. I say she's something different. lol. Am I taking this wrong? Maybe. He put a lock on his phone. Since he didn't know my birthday guess who's birthday he did use? You got it. How do I know this? When he asked what my birthday was, he says something to effect of, "What is it with me and October women?" I have told him I don't like him helping her out, but I won't tell him not to. So he keeps on talking to her. I told him I didn't want to not like her. The only way I was going to get over that was to spend some time with her. She has *insert her boyfriend's name here*. So why don't we.....This is the point where he made a noise and shook his head. You guessed it. She has dumped her boyfriend. So yeah. I'm a little annoyed with her presence. lol. I asked him when did he find that out. Turns out he found that out that same day. Is that important? You bet it is. Why? He and I had a disagreement that led to me not speaking to him the rest of the night and into the day until close to noon. So I find out that while we had just talked things through, that by the way were a result of a disagreement that dealt with her, he was still talking to her. You see a co-worker and I were teasing him. He's friends with this co-worker as well. Well in response to us to teasing him, he gets this co-worker to tell me that he had gotten my birthday off from work. Great! Then the guy goes on to tell me the date. Only one problem. It's not my birthday. It's hers'. So yeah. I got a little angry. Maybe I'm making too much out of this. Trust me I have no right to be jealous, but I am.

So now that I've spilled part of my guts to this page, I'm going to retract now back into the shadows. lol. I hope everyone is doing okay. Have a good night BMR.
 
wow...as a friend of mine would say "that's a total man moment".

Sounds like things are still going well, hope they stay the same.
 
Awww. Thanks. It was a day. A few gifts, a cake with balloons that looked like boobs with nipples, a card from someone special, and a surprise from someone. So here's to next year. Cheers.
 
Today has been a tough day. I found out this evening that a manager that I work with, a man who is so well liked by all, took his own life. Wow. Even typing that is hard.
 
How do you deal with the whys? We won't ever know. This man seemed fine just days ago. He was joking around at work with us, and now he's gone.
 
Likely the man was only laughing and joking on the outside, and was hiding some very dark demons on the inside. I know a bit about that - I do the same thing. If that's the case, then he wasn't able to keep holding off his inner demons.

I guess all you can do now is try to focus on the positive: that if things were bad enough that he felt the only way out was to take his own life, he's now in a better place and free of the suffering he was enduring.
 
Sorry to hear that, its always hard to have that happen to people you know. Often we don't know what is going on within their head, and its not that great a road to think of the whys and if onlys since you can never resolve those. Remember them fondly and that's usually all you can do.
 
I noticed something the other day on the way to work. In my request, there is plot titled The Ride. I realized I couldn't remember the last time I looked for the car that I'm talking about in that plot. It just hit me that I hadn't thought about looking. For some odd reason, I thought about looking. The car wasn't there, and so that's when I realized I hadn't looked for it in a long time. Why is that? Had I totally forgotten about the person the car reminded me of? I thought I was already over him, but maybe this just proves that point even more. Maybe this was the final door that had to shut for me to be over him. Now some may say, "but you looked for the car that day." The would be right. I did, and so maybe I'm not over him. I'd like to think I am though. I don't cry, and he and I actually started texting recently as friends. He offered for us to get together, and I kindly declined. He's not my man anymore. He wanted to take photos of me, as when he and I met I had some online on the site we met on. During our time together he took photos of me. So he wanted to take some more, since our contact began with me asking him if he still had the old photos. Turns out he doesn't, but he was willing to take more. I don't think so. Why? *points to the posts above* There is a new man in my life now, and I know he would not take kindly to that. Besides I won't do that to him.

As I mentioned before, we lost a manager at my job. He is greatly missed. I did not attend anything that was held for him. His wife actually emailed the store manager asking him to let us know she didn't want us all showing up at the same time. Honestly at first all we heard was she didn't want us there. So personally I decided not to go, as I did not want to be somewhere I was not wanted. Even after I found out that she didn't want us to show up at the same time, I still decided not to go.

The holidays are upon us soon. I hope everyone has a safe holiday season. Have a good night BMR.
 
1/22/2014

Wow. It's hard to believe that's when I joined this site. That date is coming. Six years. Wow. No matter how many times I say it, or type it, it's something. That much time has passed. While I may not be as active on this site as I use to, I still come around and pm people here and there, and I look around on the site. Often I was looking for a group rp that would grab my attention and ignite those sparks again. I miss writing. I miss the connection with people from this site. So, the other night, I struck up a conversation with someone from this site. He actually agreed to help me with something, a small project to help me get back into writing. I've tried writing with another a partner, and I didn't want to disappoint this person by bailing on them. Really an ironic thing to say since I approached this other person. lol. Still, I wanted to give it a try. So I asked him if he would be willing to work with me on this so I could get back into writing. He agreed. We fleshed out a plot, and low and behold a rp is going on now in PM on this site. I find myself excited again, waiting for his replies. Then again, I've always been this way with this partner. I actually found myself going through the rp request section looking for another partner. That hasn't happened in so long. I haven't messaged anyone though. I kind of don't want to get ahead of myself and overload myself again, and I want to wait and see how this one goes. In two weeks I could become a ghost again here, and I don't want to do that to a lot of people. Besides, some of my older, long going rps still interest me. I haven't gotten the nerve yet to message my old partners to see if they want to pick up anything. Rejections stink. I'm not ready to jump in line for that. Honestly I can think of some of would love to try and pick up again. We'll see.

In other news, clearly I've decided to make more time for writing. I needed to. Personally I think people should make time for themselves. It doesn't make you selfish at all. It makes you human. I got so caught up in Netflix. lol. With anything, I need to learn to do that in moderation and budget my time better. If writing really means something to me, then I have to make the time. So here I am. Romantic endeavors have gotten complicated. No surprise there. He took a job where he works third and I work second. Do the math. When he's awake, I'm at work, and when he's at work, I'm sleeping, or at least I should be. Time together has become tricky. We still text. Sadly some of those times we text have turned into arguments, but that's healthy and normal. Work is still work. New people have come to the department, and I find myself getting along with them, but one of them will not shut up. lol. Poor skinny dude just talks all day long. In an interesting event, the latest department supervisor is someone I have worked with before. That's not what makes it interesting though. She has a daughter. Her daughter knows my guy. Yeah. Starting to figure it out yet? No? Here. Let me connect the rest of the dots. Before he and I got together, guess who he was messing around with? Now he says they didn't have sex, and I tend to believe him. He says she wasn't ready for that kind of relationship, that she wanted a friend, a comfort person more than anything. Okay. So now I'm working with the mother of the girl who you use to want. Great. She actually came up there one day. Her mother wasn't my boss yet. She walked past the desk I work at. Twice. She took a selfie in the store and sent it to my guy. The message attached was, "guess where I'm at?" Yeah. She did that on purpose. She wanted him to know she was at my job. So it's no surprise I'm not crazy about her. I get along with her mom just fine though. Her mom thinks the world of me, her words. *waves hand to dismiss the whole conversation*

Anyway the winter months are here. Cooler temps. I love it. We get what I call southern snow here. Rain. Today the rain is clearing out. It's rained for the past two days on and off again. So I expect to be busy at work, at least for the first part of the day. People come out, get what they need, and then they seem to disappear. That's how it goes most Saturdays. I'm not lucky enough to have a Monday-Friday job. No. I work weekends too when needed, and on that note, I have to be getting ready for work. So have a good day BMR.
 
I feel like a fish out of water here. lol. It's been so long, and there is so many new people. I actually bumped my request thread. Wow. Haven't done that in ages. I'm literally afraid of what I might get back. That is in no way a bad comment about the people here. No, it's just that I'm nervous, maybe. What if someone actually likes one of them? I went through these feelings when I started here. Now I'm doing it again? Guess I deserve it. I bumped it because to ask my old partners to just pick up again is unfair. They deserve better. I literally built my rep up before from being a newbie. It's time to do that again. So here we go. Believe it or not, part of me is kind of not wanting to write in threads. lol. That's hilarious. I actually have encouraged someone to do just that. To anyone new reading my journal, I am not new here and yet I am. Confusing isn't it. In short, to all my old partners, if you're interested at all in working with me, or even talking as friends, I'd like that. I've missed this site, and I darn sure want to start making time for it again. Look. Two journal posts in two days. That's the most I've done in a year. Progress. Baby steps. Have a good day BMR.
 
*Yawn* A day off. Well, sort of. I still have something to do today for my family, but from the daily grind of the place that I work at, I have a reprieve. Days off where I literally don't do anything are few and far between. Last year it was three months into the year before I got a day where I didn't have to do anything for anyone. I complain and look forward to those days, and then when I get one, I can't stay home. lol. It's a viscous cycle really. I don't know what to do with myself when I'm home for the day. I am so accustomed to being on the go all the time. Even now I know I should already be gone, out the door, and yet I wanted to post this entry.

I will be at home tonight, and that's a good thing. I actually have a reply to work on. This is a rp that is not one I picked up with an old partner. We decided to start a new one. As I mentioned above, this is my way of easing back into things. Now later on I do plan on picking up an old one that he and I have in thread. That is certainly a plan. I do work on replies sporadically to another rp on Discord. It's a short rp. Quick, fast gratification with a good partner. Actually I need to reply to that one as well. Believe it or not I'm wanting to actually talk to the people I work with and not just spit out replies. They're not just pieces of meat here to write for my enjoyment. They're people, and I like taking the time to actually chat with them. Sometimes they're having a hard time, and writing takes a back seat when that happens. I worry about them. I think about them all the time, and I remember things about their lives. I remember they were working at Christmas. I remember they're dog people, have people in the hospital, and are really kind when you get beyond the writing. Rps and plotting are all fun, but nothing beats rl.

Another former partner reached the fog to touch base. It's amazing to hear from him again, and to say I'd be delighted to work with him again is an understatement. It seems like things are starting to mold and take on a familiar feeling once again. I like it.

It's time to get moving though. So have a good day BMR.
 
Just another day in paradise. I don't want to go to work today, but alas. I have some nasty habits that require money. Things like electricity and water. So I must go. I may take the day off on Thursday though. I've already started working on getting that day off. We'll see. I doubt it though. I was going to get the day off so I could spend some time in the afternoon with my guy. He and I haven't spent an afternoon together in a while. It would have been nice. I don't think it's gonna happen this week though. Perhaps next week though. We both work conflicting schedules for competing companies. Kind of funny actually. He work third shift at Lowe's. I work second at Home Depot. He use to work at the store I work at. That's how we met. He was listening to a conversation I was having with a co-worker. The conversation was the kind that aroused him. lol. We began flirting back and forth. It stopped for a while. I think it started back up when another co-worker mentioned he had texted her or something. Well I don't play nice with others. So I started flirting with him again. Well, things kept going and going. Last year in April we were taking a break together. He was actually on his lunch hour, and I was the one taking a break. We were sitting in his car in the parking lot, like we always did. When we would get ready to go back inside, we would give each other a hug. When we pulled back from the hug, we stopped and were real close. He said something like what are you waiting for or just do it. I can't honestly remember what he said. lol. I leaned closer and we kissed. The rest is history. A month later I was in his bed. We flirted for like two years on again and off again before things got to our first kiss. Things aren't easy. That's for sure, but it's happening. He told me first that he was starting to feel those three little words, but he was scared to say it. He didn't know how I would react. lol. So I was talking with my co-worker, the same one I was having the conversation with that he was listening to, and I told her no. I said he needed to slow down. Love? No. That wasn't suppose to happen. Not too long after that we were in his car again, not at work though, just in a parking lot, and we were close again, like before, and I told him to say it. I wanted to hear the words come from his lips, so I told him to say it, and he did. I couldn't quite tell him I was in love with him. So I said I was falling in love with him too. It's our thing now when he tells me he loves me most of the time I think I say promise. He'll say I promise. Then I tell him I love him too. Wow. This entry came out of nowhere. lol. I just started typing, and this is where I ended up. So now you know most of what there is to know. He and I have been together, officially, for a year in April. We've talked about marriage, but trust me, that's another story.

Have a good day BMR.
 
Just a short post this morning. Yesterday has some rocky patches, but all in all it wasn't too bad. I did get into an argument with someone, had someone basically prove to me, IMO, that she's a snowflake, and get to see my guy. So it was a blend really.

Anyway, it's time to head out the door for the day. My guy is picking me up tonight from work. I don't get off work until 10pm. So it will probably midnight before I get home. So have a good day BMR.

Oh and P.S. take a look at my new avatar. She actually is a character currently in a rp in thread. I haven't replied to it for some time now. She is the mother from Keeping It In The Family: The Next Generation. Please meet Callie. Callie is....well she loves sex. lol. She's got the right partner for it. Those eyes are a trademark of the family. She's got the kind of stare that can burn through you. I have rped her as a little quirky in the past, and also inexperienced. She was also a student who was going to get some interesting lessons from a teacher at one point. *sighs* How I miss that one. lol. Anyway, lately she is the mother of an amazing family that likes to..well..keep it in the family.
 
Okay. So I stayed out a little bit longer than planned. I didn't get as much sleep last night as I would have liked. So I'm hoping I can still go to see my guy today, but I don't know. If we don't spend today together, we won't get another chance until Friday next week. *sighs* I mean we might could do what we did last night, but we won't be able to do what we had planned for today. Soooooo we shall see.

I'm off from work today. I was scheduled to, but I took care of that. I've got the extra hours to do so with. Not too much to say today. Have a good day BMR.
 
Oh my. Another day. Work calls today. Work will be calling today and tomorrow. Then the clouds part, and I have two days off. Next weekend I am off Friday though. I have plans to go with my guy to pick something up that he purchased. The thing is he's buying it from the girl, the girl from above posts. Soooooo we might be going to pick it up together. I hope we can.

Writing is coming along. Even if it's just a journal entry, I want to try to write something daily. An old partner of mine asked for my thoughts on some plot ideas he has. I gave them to him, and now I can't wait to hear what he thinks. *clears throat* I am patient though. lol. Take your time letting me know.

I am so tired today, but duty calls. Yesterday was an interesting day. I got to see my guy, spend some good time with him, and now reality beckons today. So here we go. Have a good day BMR.
 
It was a good day yesterday. The paint shipment came in.View attachment 20200110_132201.jpg
Yeah. I know. The picture is sideways. Sorry about that. Idk how to rotate it. That's two of the four pallets we got in. I helped with putting away three of those four. One was already done by the time I got there. Now keep in mind these shipments usually come in around 8am. I don't get there until 1. So from 1 to 10 I helped put away three of those. In fact the two pallets in the picture are two of the ones I helped with. I was in the back when I took these pictures getting ready to pull the one that is closest into my department.

Last night, on the hand, was bad. Something happened, and it just put me in a mood. I'm still not 100%. Anyways here's to another day before having two days off. I hope I can get some things done in those two days. Have a good day BMR.
 
Another day, another....wait. No dollar today. I don't have to work. I'm off today and tomorrow. Here's hoping I can get some kind of writing done tonight. I want to. I'm off to have dinner with my parents. You know some people might not like doing that. Personally I have fun when I go with them. We're going to a really great steak house too. Oh yeah. Gotta love the bread they have there, and I do. Texas Roadhouse. If you know of the place, great. If not, I am so sorry. You have been denied something truly great. I will think of you fondly while eating tonight. Have a good day BMR.

P.S. I have gotten into watching Lost Girl on Netflix. Omg. Where has this show been?
 
I woke up this morning to thunder. How I do adore a thunder storm. It was dark, making it seem like it was earlier than it was. I was able to curl up in bed and not have to get up. That's great. I've read that true happiness is going to bed and not having to set the alarm for the next day. Well I was able to do that. So to awaken to the sounds of thunder only made it better.

Dinner last night was incredible. I don't get to do that too much because of money and time. I ate too much, but it was worth it. Now today is all about rest and relaxation. I go back to work tomorrow. So I'm going to do as little as possible today. Heck I'm still in bed, and it's 2:01pm. As you can see, I'm in no hurry to move, but I will say this. A hot shower is sounding better and better. Take a hot shower, wash my hair, again as I did that yesterday, put on some shorts, yes shorts as the weather is in the 60s here, then again some jeans might be better if I do want to go out tonight, and that brings me to my next point, going out. Yeah. Maybe a little shopping. That does sound nice. lol. Grab something on the go to eat, and come back home to finish up with more Lost Girl and writing. I flaked on writing last night. I'll admit it. A full stomach and Lost Girl made for a lazy night. I watched an episode on Lost Girl that dealt with Baba Yaga. I do like the character Kenzi. I may have to use her pics as a face claim. Yep.

Well on that note, I think I've got most of my day mapped out. I think I'll finish watching one more episode of Lost Girl before hitting that hot shower. lol. Have a good day BMR.
 
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