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Lies hiding Truth (moon/lady)

Steve snickered. "Hulk likes you." he admitted with a smile. "i haven't been able to figure out if he likes Iron Man yet or not." he admitted, wrinkling his nose. "i mean, he beats up Iron Man almost as much as he does the bad guys." he admitted. "and he keeps poking Iron Man with things!" he admitted, shaking his head. "i thought he was going to electrocute Iron Man when he prodded the other with a sparking telephone pole." he admitted with a snort. "you don't give yourself enough credit Tony." he admitted with a smile. "you've saved millions of lives. just with that one thing. i forget what it's called...." he admitted. "the thing. you made, for the hospitals...." he shook his head. "never mind. it saved my life too you know, whatever you called it." he admitted. "....it's not Johnny right? Iron Man's not Johnny? because if it is, i don't like him much anymore." it wasn't that he didn't like Johnny, he was just jealous as hell. "yeah. he had some... weird things. hairbrushes and tissue papers and old thrown out lipstick tubes and stuff..." he shook his head. "a... huh?" he asked, looking baffled. Electro-Magnet. that was a new word. "yeah we had that too. Walking Dead." he admitted softly, rubbing his chest. being blown up sucked. land mines had destroyed so many lives, and the few that managed to survive where ruined for life. "wow..." Steve muttered, staring at the glowing blue circle. "this thing saved your life?" he asked, reaching out and touching the Arc Reactor. "it's... pretty." Steve admitted, sounding amused. "i mean... it's actually really pretty. like he was surprised something that saved lives could be beautiful. "do you still have it in you?" he asked, looking at Tony. "...this is what powers it. the Iron Man suit." he said suddenly recognizing it. "you Trust Iron Man that much?" he asked, looking amazed. "it's kind of amazing... yu know, if you could build one of these, that just straps over the chest, instead of digs into it... i bet you could save another million lives.... or maybe one that shoots shrapnel away from you, like a mini force feild! that would be cool." he admitted before flushing. "sorry... probably a dumb idea."
 
“Well, if iron man would stop pretending to be a pretty butterfly and flinting here and there, he wouldn’t get poked with so many things.”Tony snickered a little before smiling. “Me to. Though I did laugh about that one.”he snickered before shrugging a little. “I create alot of things for a hospital.”Tony said tilting his head a little before snickering. “No, it’s not johnny I promise. He has his own act as a superhero to do, doesn’t need a suit.”He said smiling slightly before sighing. “A electro-magnet. It’s like a normal magnet, but its electrical to up just how strong the metal attraction is to it.”Tony explained before wincing a little nodding. “After I built it out of scraps, yea it saved me.”Tony swallowing hard, hating that he’d brought it up now, but glad they were bonding over it. Maybe tony could get steve to like him as tony, instead of iron man?...not that he was interested in that. “It is I guess.”he said frowning at it before wincing, shaking his head. “No I don’t. Extremis made it so I could take it out without killing myself.”he muttered before wincing, looking away. “It is. And...yes.Sometimes. He hasn’t failed me yet.”Tony shrugged, and wasn’t that the truth. The worst thing is, he trusted steve and the others, more then he trusted himself. “...That’s how it is in the suit. It’s strapped into the metal instead of him anymore...and...I...”He huffed, shaking his head a little. “It’s not a dumb idea, but every time I try to sit down and work on it...I freak out...”He muttered.
 
Steve snickered. "he is kind of like a bug isn't he? but it's a good flight pattern, makes him really hard to hit." he admitted with a smile. "it's common battle tactics." he admitted before smiling. "exactly. lots of things... this one went up inside the wound and closed it with some weird gel s i wouldn't bleed to death before i could get help." the whole Team showed up for that one. he was cut to the bone straight across the chest and through the neck and was seconds from bleeding to death when the field medic stoppered it with the bio gel Tony and Bruce had developed together. Steve woke up after being in surgery to stitch everything back up, to the faces of his worried Team. "thank god. i was worried for a second there." he admitted with a chuckle and a shake of his head. "so... you can control how powerful it is." Steve chirped, brightening as he realized he was keeping up with the conversation. "in other words, holding the Shrapnel still instead of tearing it out of your bod. cool." "Extremis?" he asked Tony. "that's the infection right? i don't think that's the right word... you where infected, after Killian. something about Pepper's blood. no one really told me what it did." he admitted. "i know you said it made Phil heal faster, but i never thought to think if you'd be the same." he admitted. "so your harder to hurt than i thought you where?" he asked, looking surprised. "what's your healing rate?" he asked, curious. "Iron Man's a good guy. i don't think he could abuse things like that. especially if he knows how much it saved your life." he admitted with a smile. "i won't tell anyone." he promised. "power like that? no one really needs it. but if you and Iron Man have it, we can all be assured t'll be used for good." he admitted with a smile before blinking a little. "oh... i guess i just thought it was a battery. built into the suit like a plug in." he admitted. "like the headphones for a computer or something. wait... that's not a good analogy...." he muttered before blinking at Tony. "i'm sorry. i suppose that would be a really touchy thing... like me and the Ice..." he wouldn't even drink ice-water or cold pop some days because it made him freak out. "it's okay, you have other awesome toys. like that X-ray vision. totally cool." he gave Tony a suspicious look. "you didn't build that just so you could see naked ladies right?"
 
“He is. I told him next time he annoyed me, I was putting butterfly wings on the suit.”he snickered a little before brightening.”Oh!That one. Yea that was cool. Definitely a lot of time with bruce to develop that.”Tony snickered a little before nodding. “Exactly. Since I got hit in the chest originally, it was to close to my heart to try and dig out. Best I could do was make sure it wouldn’t tear me apart.”he shrugged a little before wincing. “Extremis is more...like the serum then a infection. From what I read of dad’s notes, it’s close. I mean, I didn’t get the added benefits by being super soldiered, but it’s a serum of sorts.”Tony frowned trying to explain before nodding. “I heal faster, and I’m harder to hurt. Like johnny said, that night at the club should have put me in the hospital, instead of just flaying my back in strips. I heal faster then human, but slower then you and johnny. I don’t scar nearly as easily as I used to. I’m a little stronger then I used to be, and can stay up longer then I used to without suffering as many side effects as normal people, but it’s not to much.”Tony shrugged a little before relaxing at the other’s promise. Even if he’d known steve wouldn’t tell, it was still something good to hear. “He is a good guy..”He smiled blushing slightly. “...More like a car with a battery. It starts it and runs things.”Tony shurgged amused at the other’s analogy before nodding slightly. “It’s okay....I just can’t work on it just yet...every couple months I poke at it, work on it, and then freak out and set it aside.”He smiled before grinning giving the other a look of wide eyed innocence.”No. I would never do that....and pepper already threatened to casterate me if I did.”Tony grinned.
 
he smirked. "that's awesome. can i help?" he asked with a grin. they both knew Tony would never desecrate his greatest achievement. "yeah well, it saved my life so thank you." Steve admitted with a smile. "it's funny... i can't really remember what cut me..." some asshole with a Katana actually. "well that's why it's called walking Death. if your lucky enough to survive the blast... then our very unlucky after all." he admitted with a nod. "so you got a boost but not a big one." he agreed. before going very, very tense. "there are notes?! there are records?!" he demanded, sounding very, very upset. "Tony i want you to listen to me... never. ever tell anyone about those. men have been murdered, massacred, tortured for even the slightest hint." he whispered. "never, ever tell anyone and if you can, burn them, destroy them. bury them forever. don't let anyone else, ever get their hands on that stuff..." he whispered, sounding almost paranoid. like the man who claimed he had aliens in his head. "does anyone at all know you have notes on Dr. Erskine's formula or the methods Howard used to activate it?!" he demanded, swallowing thickly. "does ANYONE know!?" he asked, looking terrified. "you have it locked up, no one else can ever see it, not even Bruce? not even Phil?" wow. this WAS big if Steve didn't even want Phil to see t. Steve trusted Phil more than any single other person on the planet.
 
“Of course you can.”Tony grinned amused. “You’re welcome. And it was a sword.”Tony said twitching a little at the memory. “Yea, pretty much. Just enough to give me a leg up.”He said before yelping, looking startled, eyes going wide and startled, before nodding anxiously. “I know they have. And bruce’s life was destroyed trying to find it. I already destroyed them. I burned the house you know.When he died and I realized everything I was looking at....I burned it.”Tony shuddered at the memories, biting his lip, thinking about it before shaking his head. “No. No one knows. I only found it because....”He whimpered shying violently away from the memory, and looking like he wanted to leave, but not quite running away from it. “It’s been nearly 20 years since I found the notes and burned them. If anyone had copies, we would have heard about it before now. We’re safe.”Tony said sounding anxious and upset, and ready to bolt, but staying put through sheer force of will.
 
Steve blinked a little. "a... sword?" he asked, looking startled. "...who the hell uses swords in this day and age?" he asked, confused before nodding. "that Leg up is better than some mutant powers." Steve admitted with a smile before sighing, relaxing, pulling the other into a hug. "i'm sorry. i scared you..." he whispered. "people's lives have been destroyed for that research..." he admitted softly before shaking his head. "god i wish i could get drunk. come on, let's get Coffee..." he offered, leading the way down to his kitchen. "...it was a year... after Dr. Erskine died." he admitted suddenly. "fifty three people died trying to keep what was left of his research safe...." he swallowed thickly. "a hundred and sixty three people died trying to replicate it. another one hundred and fifty died trying to replicate it from my blood." he admitted. "the fifty that survived?.... well, they soon wished they had died." he admitted, voice stained with horror. "Howard was one of the only American scientists not trying to work on it." he admitted. "i guess he didn't feel the need, since he had the genuine article...." Steve sank to the floor, pressing his back into the cupboards, burying his head in his knees. "when i found out... when i found out what they had done, i had to go in and kill every last one of those scientists..." he whispered. "they where using anyone they could. Natzi prisoners. Russian casualties. children stolen from German cities.... i had to shoot the victims.... head shots. so they couldn't have to suffer anymore and i burned the entire place to the ground... i was so sure... so sure i had destroyed everything... and when i woke up? i found out i hadn't.... there was enough notes, enough... crap, left, for those wanting power to make things like Extremis and Centipede and god knows what else..." he admitted, trembling as he laid on the floor. "i failed. and those children, crying because they just wanted to die will never leave me. just like Bucky falling will never leave. like the Red skull will never leave...."
 
“Yea, I know. And I have no idea. Using a sword was insane.”Tony snickered a little. Relaxing as the other hugged him, he leaned into the other, wrapping a arm around his waist, swallowing thickly as he tried to shove the memories back into the box that they’d gotten out of. “Well...you might not be able to get drunk, but we can try. I have some good stuff upstairs.”He mttered as he followed the other, startling a little at the other talking, flinching as he listened. “...No, he didn’t need to work on it. He just locked it up under the mansion so deep no one could find it.”Tony said before kneeling in front of him, resting his hands on the other’s head, absently stroking blond hair, flinching a little. “It wasn’t just on you steve. No matter what you think, there were others to keep fighting the good fight to stop, and they all failed, even my sainted father.”Tony sighed softly, “I wish I could take the memories for you, and just add them to my own, but cap, breath with me okay?You’re starting to panic.”Tony said looking down at him, taking slow breaths.
 
Steve smiled as Tony actually hugged him back. it was the first time he ever had. "i've tried everything tony. hell i've tried Spirytus Polish Vodka 192 Proof." he stated. "drank the entire bottle in ten minutes and didn't even get a buzz." he admitted, already starting to tremble. "yeah. yeah. good..." Steve muttered at the promise Howard had locked it up. he doubted that though. no doubt when he died, and Howard realized he couldn't find Steve, would never find Steve, started playing around with the notes. why was it so hard to breath? "it was my fault... shouldn't have been me. was supposed to be Peggy..." he gasped, trying to get enough air, looking at Tony, startled, gasping, shrt, quick little breaths that where more like the hiccups than actual breaths. he watched Tony breath, sucking in a longer breath, trying to match Tony's. soon his breathing had evened out, but it was broken up by wrenching sobs. crying, holding Tony tight and crying into his shoulder because he had never felt safe enough to cry before. never felt it was right for him to cry. never felt he needed to cry. crying he was now though, years of pent up tears all pouring out into one great release until he was calm and still against Tony, breathing softly. "...i...i'm sorry... i don't... i've never..." he sounded frightened ad confused. no doubt this was the first time he'd ever had a panic attack
 
“I’m sure there’s something in my cabinet. It’s for science!”Tony grinned a little. Wincing as the other panicked, he swallowed hard, working har to stay calm himself, for once, someone else having a panic attack not enough to set off his own. “Hey hey, big guy,I got you.”Tony muttered shifting back and pulling steve with him, settling back against the cupboards, closing his eyes a little as he stroked the other’s back. “It’s okay. You’re allowed having a panic attack now and then.”He muttered stroking the other’s back, sighing softly. “Calm Cap. Breath with me okay?Just think happy thoughts....like about our baseball game tomorrow...”he muttered.
 
Steve snorted a little and shook his head. "...is that what that was? i just... i couldn't breath and i could remember everything. for a second i thought it was a flashback... but that's... not how those work..." he muttered, still trembling in Tony's arms but much calmer now, breathing in tune with Tony's breaths because it was easier than to try and regulate his own breathing. "Yankees gonna loose." he mumbled. "Dodgers suck.... terrible game... hope they all get struck by lightening. can you make Lightning Tony? maybe we should take Thor with us..." and with that he was asleep, too worn out from dreaming about Bucky for the last several days, followed by his panic attack and subsequent emotional meltdown he was simply too tired. at least he'd stopped shaking.
 
“Yea, that’s what it was.You’re okay.”Tony muttered smiling a little as the other calmed, snickering a little.”Yanks aren’t going to lose....and no I’m good, but I can’t make it lightening....and could you imagine thor watching a baseball game?”He snickered a little at the thought sighing softly as he realized the other was asleep, pressing a kiss to the other’s forehead as he closed his eyes.

When steve woke the next morning he was tucked in bed, the blanket tucked around him all the way up to his chin, tony laying at his feet, like a dog who wasn’t sure he was allowed on the bed, but having not been able to force himself to leave the bedroom either.
 
Steve nodded. "am i okay?" he asked, sounding unsure if he was supposed to be or not. "Thor would be awesome at Baseball." he mumbled.

Steve stirred Slowly, uncertain as to what had happened and why he was in bed. he blinked at the ceiling for a moment, trying to get his brain online. a feat that was more taxing then anyone would imagine. usually it took two or three cups of coffee before he could make himself think unless in active battle situations. he blinked at Tony, knowing that Jarvis already had a coffee pot going. he always started one up once Steve woke up. the sight of Tony had woken him up enough to remember last night. "....Tony? why are you sleeping down there?" Steve finally asked, blinking at the other. "never mind, scratch that. how did you get me into bed?" he asked. "i'm heavy as fuck...." he admitted, slowly sitting up and grimacing. "ugh... i feel like shit..." he admitted, scrubbing his face with his hands. "Jarvis? can you do that magic thing where you make me Coffee?" he asked, pretending that he didn't know Jarvis already did it. "....better make it two pots...."
 
“You’re okay.”Tony promised.

Tony whined, pressing his face into steve’s calf, refusing to get moving just yet. Much like steve, he didn’t function well without coffee. “...Iron man carried you when you fell asleep on me...”Tony muttered into the other’s leg, not wanting to get up, but steve was talking, which meant he had to get up. “...You’ll feel better after a shower...”He muttered. “Of course Sir. Plenty of coffee ready and waiting for you two addicts.”Jarvis teased a little. “You are a god J.”Tony muttered as he rolled, yelping as he hit the floor, having forgotten where he was sleepign, jerking up as he hit the floor, his hair sticking up every which way, blinking blearily as he tried to figure out how he’d ended up on the floor.
 
Steve groaned a little. "oh... i'll have to thank him. if he doesn't make fun of me for bawling like a baby anyway." he mumbled, quite happy to have Tony laying on him. he was warm and a comfortable weight on his legs. "don't wanna shower..." he groaned. "that means getting up..." he mumbled before smiling. "thanks Jay." he said, scrubbing his face again before laughing a little when Tony rolled off the bed. "are you okay?" he asked with a smile. "come on.. Coffee." he ordered, hauling the other back to his feet and carefully brushing imaginary dust off him before staggering for the kitchen and his glorious Coffee. he liked the really expensive stuff that you had to grind yourself and came out so thick it was almost like syrup. he poured himself a cup and then shuffled out of the way so Tony could get whatever magc brew Jarvis had gotten for him.
 
“Hm, he wont. And besides, he’ll tease you more about falling asleep on me then crying.”Tony pointed out smiling a little before snickering.”Hm, but you have to get up. I’ve been told spending days in bed is not a productive way of doing things.”Tony muttered before nodding. “Yea.Okay.I’m good.”Tony muttered running a hand over his hair, just making the usual rat’s nest that was his hair was even worse. Stumbling after the other, not nearly awake enough to deal yet. Yawning as he poured himself a glass of his expensive mocha coffee, nearly moaning in pleasure at it as he settled at the kitchen bar, sipping it with a single minded focus of a man who couldn’t wake up without it.
 
he snorted. "i didn't fall asleep on you. you where just in my vicinity when i happened to be tired." sure. sure. "and... uh. cutting onions. yeah. i was cutting onions." he decided with a smile before huffing. "who cares if i'm productive during the day so long as i beat up the bad guys?" he asked, shaking his head before grinning at the Tony on the Floor. he echoed Toy's moan with a groan of his own as he sucked down his first cup, already reaching for the pot to pour himself a second. "should make food..." Steve mumbled, blinking at the fridge. "yeah. Omelets..." he muttered, staggering over to the Stove and setting up pan and punching the buttons until the heat can on before grabbing the eggs, some cheese and some bacon, turning to Tony and showing the items as if asking if the offering was okay before turning and cracking the eggs and whipping them up until they where fluffy in the bowl, adding cream. real cream, a bit of butter ad some seasonings before pouring it into the pan to cook.
 
“Yea, yea that’s what we’ll go with.”Tony snickered a little. “Hm, people care if I’m productive. And pepper wont let me stay in bed all day.’Tony snickered a little sipping his coffee, whining quietly as he realized he’d drank it all. Grinning as he got more he smiled. “Hm, food would be good.”he agreed sipping his coffee watching steve cook with a sleepy look of satisfaction. He totally had CAptain america making him breakfast....tensing a little as his mind went somewhere with that he shuddered, now that he wasn’t dealing with steve’s emotions or anything, the man was starting to focus on the memories he’d dragged to the surface to help steve, having messed himself up in the process.
 
he snorted. "that's because you contribute to society and have a woman telling you what to do. i, do not." he admitted with a grin. "my only job on this earth is to save people and that's it." he admitted with a smile before chuckling at the others whining, pouring him some more. the caffeine had jump started his system. "Tony? you okay?" Steve asked, giving the other a worried look when he handed the other a steaming omelet full of gooey cheese and crisp salty bacon that was crumbled up in it. "do you need me to get Pepper?" he asked, knowing that if Tony was having his own breakdown, Pepper was the best at helping Tony through it. he knew from his Therapist that sometimes one reaction could trigger another, so his first assumption was that his breakdown was causing an 'emotional reaction' in Tony.
 
“I’m totally hooking you up with someone. You need some girl bossing you around...wonder if Natasha would do that...”Tony hummed sounding amused though. Smiling pleased as the other gave him more coffee, starting to wake up. Blinking up at the other he swallowed thickly, huddling over his own cup, not wanting to ask for help, not wanting to inconvenice either one. “I’m fine. Just keep to eat.”he muttered as he took the food, his desire to not cause problems and worry anyone weighing his desire to talk. Not wnating to worry them, so he was working on locking down the memories and force it back into the box that he’d buried it all in for 20 years, having simply just added every new nightmare to that pit of despair and pain that lived at his center.
 
he snorted. "no thanks. i'll just enjoy laying in bed all day." he chirped happily. feeling much better now that he had some coffee in him. he felt lighter, and happier, and just all around better. "...Jarvis? call Pepper." Steve ordered. "have her come down here." he demanded, moving around the table to gently wrap Tony in a hug. "Tony. do you think that after what i did last night, it would be wrong for you to do the same?" he asked gently. "i know my shit probably pulled up a lot of your shit." he admitted. "so if you want to talk, i'll listen, i won't judge, i won't scoff, i won't laugh." he promised. "if you just want to sit here and cry and be cuddled that's okay too. if you want me to back the hell off and stop touching you, i'm okay with that." he promised. "as long as it makes you feel better. okay?" he asked, running his fingers through the others hair.
 
Tony huffed a little as he was ignored, for once not pulling away as he was hugged, shifting to lean into the broad chest. Snuffling a little as he pressed his face into the other’s chest, he sighed. “...Yes. It would.”he mttered, trying to shut the other out, not because he really wanted to, but because of his own childhood trauma of having to be with Howard. “...Can I have more coffee?”he muttered as he arched the other’s hand as his hair was played with. Even if he didn’t want to accept the comfort, he couldn’t resist having his hair played with.
 
he smiled a little. "of course it wouldn't." he huffed, rolling his eyes. "just let me help you, okay? don't make me call Rhodey." he warned, amused. it was Rhodey's fault he was even seeing a shrink in the first place. stupid bint anyway, Steve was getting a new one. one that actually knew how to handle a Vet. "course you can." Steve agreed, pouring Tony another cup and smiling when the other arched into his fingers. god was that ever sexy. yep, he was going to be drawing naughty Tony pics again. god did he ever feel ashamed about that. "you know... we didn't have psychologists back in my day. i mean, we did but they where only for insane people.... i guess i do kind of count. anyway, they weren't for the populace, not really." he admitted. "one of Bucky's brothers had to go to a psychologist. because he kept screaming for no reason. turned out he had some form of Schizophrenia. and he'd see things that weren't there. things like bugs that he said where trying to crawl inside of him and some other really creepy stuff... so when i first saw my therapist i swore up and down she was going to strap me to a chair and electrocute my head." he admitted. "the bitch actually laughed at me and told me they didn't do shock therapy anymore. like i was stupid or something." mostly he was just talking so Tony didn't feel alone. "i hated her in that exact instance but i kept going because Fury insisted. i think she knows it too because she doesn't really do much except run into the bathroom from time to time to puke... i love making up shit to really freak her out. like having to eat raw frogs because we where too poor to afford food, or fire." he smirked. "i can't believe she actually fell for that one." he admitted with a chuckle.
 
“...You already called the scary one. She’ll be down here and be bossy, no need to threaten with rhodey.”Tony mttered sighing softly as he leaned into him, before frowning thinking about that. “Well, they’re still for insane people, we’re just more accepting of other people needing them to.”he muttered before frowning, jerking up.”What?She laughed at you?”oh, the protective pissed anger in that tone. “Okay, yea I laugh at you all the time, but she’s a professional!She should have taken in consideration that you would have no idea we’ve moved on since then!”Tony growled, for a moment derailed from his own breakdown, before shuddering, whimpering quietly at the idea of raw frogs. “That’s disgusting Cap.”He whined as he sipped his drink.
 
he snickered. "yeah, she is scary isn't she?" he asked with a grin. "and bossy too. she's good at that. you know i saw her in action once? it was kind of awesome, her yelling at all those stupid people and them running around to do what she told them to." he admitted with a chuckle before lifting his eyebrow at Tony. "....Tony, Pepper goes every weekend just for stress management. that is a very huge difference." he admitted before shrugging. "yeah, she laughed. i guess she wasn't briefed properly or something. it took me a week to convince her i was actually born in the twenties." he admitted, running a hand through his hair before smirking at Tony. "of course it's gross. that was the point." he admitted, looking up when Pepper walked in. "Tony?" she asked, sounding concerned, but not upset or worried. "i heard Steve had a breakdown, is he okay? oh... hey Steve.. you okay?" "Jarvis you traitor." Steve complained, flushing brightly. "i'm fine... it was just a little one...." "...a full on emotional meltdown is a 'little one?' i don't think so." Pepper scoffed. focusing on Steve because she knew Tony wouldn't want to be fussed over in front f other people. plus it would help Tony relax.
 
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