Lies hiding Truth (moon/lady)

“No, noooo I have to work. Almost done.”Tony muttered before his head snapped at the question, truly focusing on the other man as he blinked slowly. “....Yes.”He said giving in, simply leaning into the other, flinching a little at the sound of his real name. Because it had always meant he’d screwed up, that he was going to get yelled at. But not protesting steve’s use of it, actually he didn’t mind steve, or johnny really, using anthony. Simply he knew he was in trouble hearing it. Whimpering quietly as he wavered a little, wanting to fight the need before shaking his head.”No...I’m okay. I can handle this.”Tony said pulling away from fear of how utterly needy he felt at the idea of letting steve touch him, understanding somewhere, that if he did, nothing would be the same.
 
he shook his head. "you aren't getting anything done at all." he corrected, letting the others feet touch the ground again. he nodded when Tony relaxed and admitted to needing sub space and released Tony's left hand so he could stroke the others neck gently, taking note of the second flinch. no using Tony's full name, he could do that. "Tony. i need you to be honest now." Steve ordered gently. "do you want me to drop you, or do you want me to call someone, be clear. i want you to be completely sure of who you ask for." Steve admitted. not about to take advantage of Tony. not at all. he couldn't help the possessive tone he was using, or the way he stroked Tony, as if worried the other might bolt if he didn't keep touching him.
 
“...No. No I’m not.”Tony muttered shivering a little as he was set down, whimpering quietly as the other stroked his neck, his shoulders slouching, slumping a little as he started to drop, because it was a quiet gentle touch that was usually the signal that he’d worked himself to hard and someone was going to put him under. Someone he trusted, someone he needed. Shivering at the possessive tone, even if he wasn’t really aware of registering it as he looked up at steve with slightly glossed over eyes, “...You. My bedroom. Not down here.”Tony muttered shuffling a little away, not bolting, but simply trying to get steve to move, even if he wouldn’t admit it, he needed steve in his bedroom, the one room that was totally off limits to most people, the most private place in the tower, his sanctuary of simple rest....inviting steve in, even if he’d allowed steve in there before, was still a huge step for the man.
 
Steve nodded, swallowing thickly. this was it. the big step. he was going to have sex with Tony. part of him felt bad that he hadn't even thought of Iron Man in several days. oh well, Tony was more important really. "alright." Steve agreed, following the other. he glanced around Tony's bedroom, a little surprised he'd been allowed in here. last time, Tony had nearly beat his head in. no matter that he was putting the other to bed after a too long night of drinking and manic science. "Strip." Steve ordered, watching the other intently, mouth watering as he watched Tony, licking his lips. "What's your safe word?" he ordered, eyes burning as he took in Tony's perfect form, looking around for Tony's Kink supply. he knew the other had one. once he heard the safe word he brought out a Flogger, and a horse crop. "i will give you a choice." Steve decided. "i can use the flogger on your back. the crop on your front, or i can do both." another way of insuring Tony was willing. "no matter your choice, i will tie you down." he admitted, setting his hand on Tony's ankle and running his hand up the leg. "if you choose both, i will strap your back first, and then mark your front with the crop." he admitted.
 
Tony looked around his bedroom as they walked in, making sure that the room wasn’t to much of a mess as he stopped at the end of the bed, turning to look at the other. Shivering as he started to strip, staring at the bed, “Stars.”Tony muttered, up enough to blush over the fact that his safe word was generally superhero-captain related, shivering as he heard the other find his closet of kink stuff, having recently put in a small walk in closet for stuff, his eyes half closed as he listened to the other. “Both.Please, both.”Tony shuddered turning his head to look at the other.
 
he smiled a little as he watched the other. "Stars." he agreed. "mine is Titanium." he admitted, wondering if Tony would notice how the safe word applied to him. he knew Tony loved Alloys and he knew the Iron Man suit was made from a Titanium Alloy. "Both then" Steve agreed, running his fingers through Tony's hair before he grabbed the leather shackles and leather tie downs that Ton kept. laying Tony on his stomach, stretching both hands high over his head, both wrists attached to the same rung in the headboard before doing the same to Tony's ankles so he was one long straight line. "any cramps? sharp pains?" he asked, checking the knots. they would only tighten the harder Tony pulled, but a single tug from the specific lines, and Tony would be loose. once he was sure the other wasn't in any serious pain and was for the most part, comfortable he picked up the flogger and trailed the many tails over Tony's back. Johnny had taught him to never surprise a sub with issues. warning given, he gently smacked Tony, warming u the back, bringing the blood and nerves to life before smacking harder, working up to tougher strokes until Tony's back was alight with tingling pain and welts where beginning to raise. Steve's strokes where always precise, carefully measured, perfectly placed to cause the most pain/pleasure/pain. he was very good at this, to be sure.
 
“....My suit’s titanium. Amazing suit that is.”Tony muttered not really aware enough to be aware that he’d side way’s admitted that he was iron man, even if steve would probably take it as tony claiming the suit simply because he created it, not because he actually wore it. Because no one believed he was iron man. Whimpering quietly as he was tied down, twitching a little to make sure he was okay, before nodding slightly. “No, and no. I’m good.”he said slowly, sighing as he closed his eyes as the flogger trailed over his skin, shivering as the other smacked him, gasping as the other worked him over, within moments in that quiet deep spot in his head that was simply him at his lowest. “Cap...not...”He frowned, trying to come up enough to let the other know he was low enough to not really be trusted with his own safety, because he didn’t know if the other would be able to tell, and not wanting to upset the other by ignoring his safety. “Steve...”He muttered his head hanging as he slumped, simply relaxing into teh bonds and drifting away.
 
he chuckled. "i know." he admitted. "my new Shield has titanium in it too." he admitted. after one of the harder missions, one of the big explosions had actually cracked his Shield. they'd fixed it with the same Titanium alloy that Tony had used to make his Suit out of. it wasn't as impressively strong as the Vibranium, but it did the trick and Steve didn't have to worry about his shield shattering either. "it's okay Tony. i know." Steve promised, stroking a hand down the others back. "i know. it's okay." he was quite pleased that Tony had told him. he knew he could trust the other to use his Safeword now as well. "i never trust you with your own safety anyway." he assured Tony with a smile before resuming his work. alternating now. light smacks, then hard smacks, teasing strokes, light smacks, then hard smacks until Tony couldn't think at all and his back was a mass of red lines that wouldn't bruise or welt, but would leave a tight, lingering soreness for a few days. he straddled the other and ran his hands along the marks for a moment, feeling the heat and massaging the sore muscles for a moment before untying Tony, rolling him onto his sore, but no longer stiff, back and tied the other into an X-position now, rubbing the others neck gently, smiling at him. "you take it so well Tony." he admitted, running his hands along the others body. "what's your safeword Tony? tell me." he ordered, just to make sure Tony hadn't forgotten it. "im going to do your front now. are you okay with more?"
 
“awesome shield. Nearly indescrutible now that it’s both titanium and vibranium...”Tony muttered sounding pleased with himself, because while it had weakened it some, it had also given the vibranium the qualities of titanium without totally compromising it. “Kay...”Tony shuddered shivering as h was stroked, making a unhappy noise that he wasn’t trusted, not really paying attention to what the other was talking about, only that he wasn’t trusted. But simply enjoying being touched and played with, shivering as th other massaged his back, utterly pliant under his hands, simply letting steve rolling him over, neck flexing a little under the other’s hand as he nuzzled his face against his wrist as steve stroked him. “Spangled.”he muttered blinking slowly, focusing on the other slowly, nodding a little.”Okay.It’s okay.”he muttered because while he was done, he was okay. And he didn’t want to give up the game yet, didn’t want to let steve go anywhere. Despite wanting to keep steve, he couldn’t admit to wanting it, so he’d take this however he could get it.
 
Steve chuckled. "Tony. your not the one who fixed my shield.... remind me to make you look at it later, i bet you could make it better than brand new." he admitted, chuckling at the unhappy noises. "it's okay Tony, i trust you with everything else." he promised, pleased at how limp and pliant the other was in his hands. this was the best. "....that's not the same word you told me earlier." Steve pointed out, lips twitching. amused. well aware he'd tried to change his usual Safeword. Johnny had already told him Tony's safeword. he knew it was usually Spangled. "good." he purred, hesitating before leaning down and kissing Tony deeply, running his tongue into the others mouth for a forbidden taste. "you can Cum anytime you want to." Steve assured the other before running the horse crop down the left arm. "turn your head to the left. i won't be the one in trouble if i smack you in the face." he warned before bringing it down, the sharp biting pai only broken by the next strike. each strike was an inch apart, leaving red welts that Tony would feel for days, even a week depending on how fast Extremis really worked. hopefully it would keep Tony grounded for a while. he paused after striking Tony's wrist and examined his handiwork. his inner artist coming out. he would have to sketch this too. he ignored the urge and moved to Tony's other side and repeated the procedure. making sure not to hit Tony in the face before moving up to the wrist, being very careful not to actually hit Tony's hands or hit too hard. he paused, licking his lips as he examined Tony before rubbing the others leg and grabbing the juice Tony kept in the min fridge and gently gave Tony gulp after gulp of it. giving the other a chance to catch his breath. lord how Steve loved the bendy straw.
 
Tony whined at that."why not?I should have been fixing it. That's wrong."tony whined slightly unhappy that anyone else had ever worked on steve's shield. Relaxing at the other's promise,si ghost ing quietly."good.trust you to."he muttered."....oh.oops. stars and spangled. I'll hum star spspangled banner if you want."he said definitely down enough to be a little goofy and a little out of it in his train of thought along with being utterly honest.Tony sighed sof tly as he turned his head to the side groaning as the other man struck him whimpering quietly as he squirmed. Shivering as the other rubbed his leg as he gulped down the juice jerking his head back as he came with a whine. The utter feeling of being taken care of and held sending him right over the edge as he slumped into his bonds utterly relaxed and pliant
 
Steve smiled. "you wouldn't answer Shield's calls so they did it themselves." he explained. "i'll give it to you later and let you fix it." he promised. "Tony? stop talking." Steve ordered with a chuckle. "your babbling a bit there Sweetie." he admitted before wincing as he called the other such a tender name. he hadn't meant to do that. oh well. he'd worry about it later. "such a good boy!" Steve praised, grinning as he watched Tony cum completely untouched. now that was hot as hell. "i'm going to untie you now." he admitted, gently untying the others arms, letting him feel the sting and burn of every movement. he hummed as he untied the others ankles, letting Tony hear him so he wouldn't think Steve had left. once Tony was untied Steve smiled and gently gathered a wet rag and gently washed the welts and the cum off of Tony. then he gently wiped down the others back and face after rinsing the cloth. "there." Steve said, pleased with himself while he gathered the last bit, a plate of finger foods in the mini fridge, fruit mostly. he gently fed Tony the little bits of food until Tony didn't want any more and then sat with Tony until he went to sleep. he grabbed a blank page and a pencil and sketched Tony from a side angle so he could sketch the marks, s well as the blissful expression on Tony's face. if he was asked, he could always claim it was for Johnny.
 
"Stupid shield."tony muttered smiling utterly pleased with the idea of getting to fix it later though."am not. I don't babble."he muttered though he did stop talking when he was ordered to,to far down to really realize he'd been called sweetie. Flushing brightly at the praise he smiled happily to hehear it,simply pleased at having pleased steve. Having not been asked to do anything for steve, he assumed that steve just wanted to take care of him, so letting himself be taken care of meant steve was being taken care of to, at least to tony's way of thinking at the moment. Giving the other a blissful smile as he was fed and settled into the bed he smiled."thanks steve."he muttered as he drifted off to sleep..

When he woke he frowned tiredly sitting up slowly,looking upset when he realized he was in bed alone, disliking coming up from his subspace alone, even when he was back up and together,he didnt enjoy being alone when he was coming up. Not realing steve was watching him from the couch near the bed, to sad and upset at being alone to really see things around him yet. Not awake enough to be functioning well wanting to go and find coffee
 
he chuckled and nodded, stroking the others hair. "you always babble, don't worry, it's cute." he assured the other with a smile, delighted when Tony just let Steve take care of him. "of course Tony." Steve promised, kissing the others temple. "you where such a good boy for me." he admitted with a smile.

"Tony?" Steve asked when he saw the other was sitting up and looked upset, standing up and getting the mug and pot he'd texted Bruce to bring him because he didn't want to leave Tony alone for even a second. "here Tony. it's Coffee. drink slow, it's still hot. Bruce just brought it up." he admitted. "how are you feeling? any sharp pains?" he asked, running his fingers along the back muscles, looking for any problems he might have missed. "Where are you sitting at?" he asked, examining the arm that wasn't holding the Coffee cup, looking delighted at how well the arm had marked. "you have just perfect skin. you don't bruise at all. granted, your not supposed to bruise. i'd have been doing it wrong if you had." he admitted. "but some people just bruise no matter how lightly you hit them." he admitted. "that's what Johnny says anyway." he admitted, gently rubbing Lotion into the arm now, keeping the flesh moisturized and flexible. "other arm." he ordered. letting Tony switch which hand was holding the Coffee cup. "you where so good for me, you know it? you didn't even struggle." he admitted with a smile. "it was so beautiful Tony." he admitted.
 
Tony yelped startled as the other spoke turning to look at the other,slumping slightly relaxed, pleased that the other hadnt left."thanks."he said making grabby hands at the coffee cup sipping it carefully with a smile."thanks Cap."he muttered. Shivering as the other stroked his back."hmmm my back feels tingly srill,but not sharply pained. You did okay."tony promised with a small smile."low but functional."which meant about a 2 or 3, low but not utterly low and down. Sipping his coffee he smiled."Ive never bruised, even before extremis. Johnny always found it amazing...even when I was...reckless...I reddened and bled but didn't bruise."he shrugged a little. Shivering as he let the other take care of him and put the lotion on he flushed at the praise ducking his head a little to hide it."...thanks steve. I know it couldn't have been that fun taking care of me...but thanks."he said smiling slightly, still so oblivious on why steve had taken the time and energy beyond his own desire to be a dominate, not reali zing it'd mostly stemmed from a desire to take care of him.
 
Steve smiled at the yelp. "Sorry i didn't mean to startle you." he admitted. "i couldn't sleep and i wasn't sure how you felt about men in your bed so i started sketching." he admitted, pleased that the other was okay and being honest. "good, good." he muttered. "i want you to let me lotion your back again later tonight." he ordered. "and your arms." he admitted. "good. you can make rational decisions again." Steve said, pleased. "i wasn't sure if i should let you sleep. some people don't sleep well in their subspace." he admitted, sounding a bit worried. "u didn't look to have any problems and your doing okay now but i was worried." he admitted. "reckless... yeah Johnny told me about that." he admitted. "mostly so i knew what happened when someone without a real limit met someone who didn't know when to stop." he admitted. "it is amazing though." he admitted with a smile. "it was a lot of fun to be honest." he admitted. "the look on your face when i hit you...." he bit his lip. "it was amazing..." he admitted, breathless and amazed. "i've never seen someone so... so..." he looked at Tony. "perfect." he admitted. "i mean, i still... i'm still not sure it's okay, liking to hurt people. but god i watched your face when i hit you and it was like... like i was giving you the best blowjob in the world...." he admitted, smiling at him. "besides, i like taking care of you." he admitted. "why do you think Johnny's giving me lessons?" he asked, his head tilted. "i wanted to be able to help you when you needed it."
 
"It's okay. Just didn't expect you'd actually stay...and I don't mind people in bed with me. I mean if you're in my bedroom you're among the selected few I trust..."tony trailed off when he realized he was rambling before nodding."later. My backs okay for now...and I'm always rational...."tony sulked a little mostay because he knew he wasnt."...yea...I ended up in the hospital. Even with extremis. It wasn't a good time."tony made a face not realizing steve didn't know about the most recent near death experience toNY had subjected himself to."...it gets me out of my own head...sometimes extremis makes me work even more misfires and makes me work even faster...turning my already obEssie need to work into a near death migraine inducing phase. Pain and pleasure knocks me back into myself...I've gotten more into it after I got extremis but even when I was young I was always a kinky little shit...its just got a better purpose these days."tony shrugged a little flushing at the other's praise of being beautiful, before smiling a little."well there's nothing like a blowjob but okay..."tony muttered blushing and pulling the blanket up a little to bunch in his lap as he react to the idea of steve giving a blowjob as he sipped his coffee hoping the other didn't notice. Looking startled he looked at steve."...you want to...take care of me?what about iron? I mean..I don't want to mess things up..."tony said so quietly vulnerable and hurting, because even now he couldn't admit he was iron man,despite allowing steve into his bedroom, telling him that was to much trust.
 
he blinked a little. "of course i'm going to stay! i put you in subspace, i know better than to leave! besides, your not a one night stand." he huffed, shaking his head. "i didn't even leave to get the Coffee. i told Bruce to bring it up. i said you got sick from too much sugar." he admitted. "i wasn't sure if you wanted him to know or not so i lied." he admitted before he flushed a little. realizing how much Tony really trusted him. "yeah it looks alright now that i have Lotion on it. you'll feel it for a while though." and boy didn't he sound ever so smug? "i knew Extremis could give you migraines." he admitted. "but i didn't know it was the reason why you keep going... manic, did you call it?" he asked, his head tilted. "well. i dunno about being Kinky. i mean, lots of people do it, right? so how can it be kinky?" he asked with a baffled expression before offering Tony a smirk. "well. i wasn't sure if you wanted it to be sexual or not and there wasn't a whole lot of time to ask you. i didn't want to take advantage of you." he admitted before grimacing. "...oh Tony... i don't... i mean.." he sighed. "i liked Iron Man, yeah but it was just a crush. he was the first person to be nice to me in this time. but i don't know him, not really and..." he swallowed and closed his eyes. "i can't.. not with him. not when he can pin me down...." he admitted. "i can't trust him enough to ever start a relationship with him. how could i when i don't even know his name and i'll never see his face? i guess that's why i liked him so much. because i could never truly love him. because he was safe to like while i got my head on straight." he admitted. "besides, most of what i do these days seams o center around you, even when i don't even realize it and i never stop thinking about you and...." he sighed, sagged his shoulders and went for it. "i like you Tony. a lot... and i know you don't like emotions but... but i really...." he looked up at Tony, his eyes glittering softly. "i think i'm falling in love with you."
 
"....I know you do I just...people always leave me. Didn't expect you to stay."tony muttered and you just knew it wasn't johnny he had problems with,but everyone else he'd ever allowed to drop him,and in turn had gotten left. Hell,once pepper had left him tied up in subspace and gone back to work. The man had problems trusting that people would stay."...well I'd no one know,but that's not really a option when I need it so often..."tony sighed tiredly before smiling."well. I was always a little manic wait work, but it's gotten worse since I got extremis since I don't need as much sleep and it can speed up my brain to work and all..."he shrugged a little."...you know I don't know if it's kinky if everyone does it."he snickered before tilting his head."no I guess you didn't have alot of tims..."he said sounding a little in awe more because steve hadn't taken advantage then anything."...no I guess you can't start a relationship with someone who can't take off his suit."tony muttered sounding pained and slightly wistful hating himself for simply not telling the other but even now he couldn't make the words , I am iron man, form."well you do teach me to fight on orders to do so and make sure I don't accidentally kill myself..."he muttered before looking up at the other wit wide panicked eyes moving away before he'd even registered trying to run before he cursed as he spilled hot coffee down his front and across his lap.
 
Steve shook his head. "i know better." he admitted with a smile. "well i can help keep it a secrete, as much as i'm able. what you do in the bedroom is no one's business." he promised. "anytime you need it you come get me okay?" he promised with a smile. "i never have anything important to do anyway do you can't even bother me when i'm busy." he admitted. "and i noticed. when i went down earlier you had so many things going on all at the same time i couldn't tell what you where working on and what you had already finished." he admitted. "no. not a lot of time. you needed to drop in a bad way." he admitted with a smile at the other. "no. no i can't and even if i could i wouldn't... that suit..." he paused, hesitated and then. "it makes me nervous." he admitted. "i know it's stupid but i think he could actually hold me down, pin me in place if he wanted to and that scares me a bit." he admitted. "not much of course because i know I.M would never but..." he shrugged. "Tony no one ordered me to teach you how to fight. it was my idea." he admitted, looking highly amused before wincing when Tony moved away. "hey! hey! easy, careful." he ordered, moving before Tony could stop him, stripping Tony's pants off, removing the coffee cup and holding a cool cloth to the burned areas. "Tony, honestly. it's okay." he promised. "i know how you are." he admitted, looking back up at the other. "i know you need a few days to wrap your head around that. i know that you might never return my feelings and that's okay. if you don't like me back, then that's really okay. it won't ruin our friendship, i promise." he promised with a shake of his head. "just take a while to think about it, i won't change my mind about anything and i can help you drop without ever being in a relationship with you okay?" he promised with a smile. "and even if you do decide you want a relationship with me, i would never keep you from Johnny and Faith." he promised. "....just them though." he admitted before examining the burns "just scalded.... i told you the Coffee was hot. does it hurt too badly?"
 
“That’s fine. I know the other’s know, I mean, I follow johnny around here like a puppy some days, but it’s easier to not advertise it to much either.”Tony shrugged a little before studying the other, biting his lip. Not sure if he belived the other that he would never interrupt him, before nodding tightly. “...okay. I’ll find you if I need it.”he said after a moment before wincing. “...My lab’s going to be a mess...that’s the worst its been in awhile...”H said sighing quietly before studying him. “He probably could, but he wouldn’t you know. He...he knows what it’s like to be powerless with someone, he wouldn’t take advantage.”Tony said biting his lip a little because it was hard to talk about. He so so desperately wanted to trust, to open up, but the nature of his brokeness shattering and the sharp edges of his mistrust and need keeping him from spilling that last secret of who he really was. Yelping as he was stripped he groaned a little as the other pressed the cloth to his skin, slumping back into the bed, looking anxious and tired, having no idea what to say, no idea how to do this. Staring at the blankets he looked like a broken hurting child more then a billionaire adult, having no idea what to say to the other as he listened to the othr. Biting his lip, having no idea how to do this, not when he so badly wanted to be with the other, to trust....”....I need to talk to river.”he said sounding so close to panic still it was amazing he wasn’t bolting naked from the still, before looking down, shaking his head a little. “No, it’s not to bad.Doesn’t hurt really.....though my dick is kinda sore down that I’ve poured hot water on it...”he whined a little, so very desperate to think that this wouldn’t change their relationship, needing to believe that yes, he could do this. Maybe he could let steve in...but he’d need help. “....I should call johnny....need to know about sue...need to work on the vents to...got your guys bracelets mostly done to...”And it was obvious in his panic he was starting to work himself back into utter manicness.
 
he chuckled a little. "i don't think they know about the Kink Tony. can you honestly tell me Clint would be okay with people hitting you?" he asked, looking amused. "if he knew he'd kill me. well, he'd try anyway and i can't imagine Bruce would be too happy about it either." he admitted. "good. i'll hold you to that promise. and if you don't realize you need me i'm sure Jarvis will get me." he admitted. "i think Jarvis was reorganizing everything as soon as i made you stop, it shouldn't be too bad.... on the computer parts anyway." he admitted. "can Jarvis move physical things?" he wondered. "i know he would never. but the thought... once i had it. can't get it out and i feel damn terrible about it too." he admitted with a sigh. "Jarvis get River?" Steve asked the A.I. not even questioning why. he knew just how amazing River was. "you want help getting your pants back on?" he asked, wondering if Tony's lack of modesty carried over to his therapist. "it was coffee..." Steve grumbled. "just because i didn't make it as thick as mud." he complained playfully. "well. i would kiss it better but i think that'll just wig you out more so i'll refrain." he decided with a smile. "call Johnny after your meeting with River." he ordered. "and the tech can wait Tony." he promised the other. "JArvis won't have been sitting idle, he'll have it half done for you." he promised. "you won't get anything done in this state in the first place." "Steven is correct." River admitted as he walked in. "your in no mental state to be working." he admitted, sitting down in a chair and smiling at the cup of juice that Steve had gotten from the mini fridge before the super soldier left, leaving them alone to talk.
 
“....well. Okay. Probably not. Clint would totally not understand.”He said looking vaguely amused at th ida of simply telling the archer to watch him freak out. “I’m sure he will. My AI likes you better.”Tony sulked a little though his eyes showed amusement to. “...you’re right. Jarvis probably organized things.”He said relaxing at the idea before snickering, shaking his head. “He can’t, but he can get Dum-E and U to do it, so it might not be a terrible mess really...”h muttered. “Of course Sir. H’ll be right there.”Jarvis said even as he called River. “...I guess I should get dressed.”He sighed a little as he eased to his feet, letting steve help him back into a pair or clean sweatpants before making a face. “It was good coffee. Fresh to. Not used to fresh coffee in the morning, usually it’s the day old stuff I have in the coffee pot.”Tony teased a littel making a face at the man. “....”Tony groaned twitching a little as he slumped back into the bed, whimpering at the idea of steve kissing it better. “....KAy. Johnny later....and I can totally work. I’m okay.”Tony grumbled before sulking at Rivr as he walked in, sighing softly. “Bye steve.”He muttered watching the super soldier go before looking at rivr and starting to talk, and pace, in that typical manic pace that he did when he was really upset about something, and telling river everything that happend and what steve had said. Not quit sure if river knew he was iron man, but it was obvious he wasn’t doing well. “....Riv?You remember when you said most people couldn’t have done what I did?Split memories apart and compartmentalized to the point I did?I don’t....I don’t think I’m as unaffected as we thought. I want to...I want to be with him. But I can’t. I just can’t. And I have no idea how to break the walls I’ve put up, to accept wanting to be with Steve.”H said not even realizing the fond, exasperated, near loving tone that curled around steve’s name as he spoke. He was so far gone already, he just couldn’t do this well.
 
he nodded. "precisely." he admitted with a smile and shook his head. "he only likes me because i'm new. your his Father, of course he loves you more." Steve assured the other with a lopsided grin. "Jarvis knows you very well Tony, he knows how to make your life easier." he promised. "Thank you Jarvis." Steve chirped before snorting at the other. "well if you got up in the morning like most people maybe you'd have fresh coffee." he teased with a grin. "i make like, eight pots in the morning just for you caffeine addicted science geeks. you should see how much Coffee Bruce drinks. i thought he was supposed to avoid stimulants?" he asked, wrinkling his nose. "your not okay." he stated simply. "i'll see you later, come up when your done i'll make you something delicious." he promised with a smile.

"i never said you where not affected by what you did. i merely said it was amazing you where nt insane." he admitted. "you have what is known as a fractured personality. you and the Iron Man access different parts of your own personality. Iron Man is your honest side. your trusting side. it's locked in metal and steal and protected. that's why your having so much trouble telling Steve the truth, why you feel closed off, locked away from your own emotions." he admitted. "everything you think of as a weakness is hidden inside the Iron Man half of your personality." he admitted. "the fact that you realize you do want Steve is a huge step Tony. particularly after all the trauma and pain you've been through." he admitted. "you've been in love with him for some time, denying it won't do you any good now." River admitted. "the walls are simply time based. the longer you stay with Steve, the more you will trust him." he admitted. "you are only afraid, Tony. that's all. everyone is afraid when they first fall in love." he admitted.
 
“Hey, you tell me I need to get some sleep. It’s not my fault I sleep in.....and h’s supposed to. Doesn’t work though, he gets grouchy if he can’t have coffee.”Tony snickered a little. “Kay. I’ll be up in a bit then.”he said smiling a little.

“...oh. Well. True.”Tony sighed quietly running his hand through his hair, shuddering a little. Because he so badly wanted to tell steve everything, but he was totally unable to. Swallowing thickly. ...I’m not in love with steve!I just want to have sex with him!”Tony said refusing to let things get deeper then a physical need to screw steve instead of ltting himself love the other.
 
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