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Misguided Genius(lady/moon)

Steve shuddered a little. "...Tony doesn't care about me like that. i'm sure it's for another reason." but he still felt hope swimming in his chest. "it would be fun." he agreed with a small giggle and he blinked at Bucky, looking baffled. "Loki is a catcher?" he asked, more than a little stunned. "weird... still. you have to promise, because he can crawl into your head and make you do things you wouldn't want to." he muttered. "but you can't stop yourself... ask Clint!" Steve had never forgiven Loki for his actions, and he had never heard Loki's past the way Tony, Pepper and Johnny had. he'd never seen how tender and gentle Loki was with Pepper on her last days the way Natasha had. he'd never seen Loki fussing over anyone the way Clint and Bruce had. as far as Steve was concerned, Loki was still the Devil incarnate. and Anti-Christ all rolled up with Hitler and Voldemort in one package. "huummmmm...kay." Steve slurred as he was ordered to sleep, already relaxed.

Clint snorted. "yes. but Barnes won't fuck him." he pointed out. "Barnes won't teach him modern stuff. Barnes didn't sit there or three days with him. Barnes didn't save his life, didn't notice the signs of a hard crash and didn't make an entire suite into a 1940's museum just for his comfort." he admitted. "he adores you, he's just hiding it because he thinks you hate him." he assured Tony with a smile. "i'm glad we're here for each other." he admitted as he smiled at the other. "i'm glad you have Loki and Johnny and the Avengers to coast you through the hard parts of life." he admitted. "you don't scare him Tony, he's just massively overwhelmed." he admitted as he carefully picked the other up. "Loki already knows Tony." he scoffed. "he just didn't say anything because you weren't being a danger to yourself and he wanted to see if we'd stop sticking our thumbs up our asses and notice you." he admitted as he gently tucked the other into bed and stroked his hair until he fell asleep, asking Jarvis to lock the Lab to anyone but Steve unless it was a life or death situation. he let Steve go in, because he had a feeling if Steve had a panic, or had a craving and tried to get to Tony or any of the others and couldn't, he'd slide right back and go and get more drugs.
 
“Boys are so dumb sometimes.”Natasha rolled her eyes at steve’s protest, looking at bucky in bemusement to. “Hm, maybe, probably. Have you not noticed him fussing over me?”Bucky snickered a little but his features were serious.”I already talked to clint. And I promise, I will.I’ll be careful, punk.”He muttered amused finishing the massage, and slumping down next to the other with a yawn, falling asleep.

“But they have. I mean, they enjoyed it during the war. Steve told me.”Tony whined a little, oh joys, he was getting whiny and contrary simply to be contrary now that he was feeling tired. Taking comfort in the other’s words, even if he didn’t believe it.”Don’t hate him.Seems I was the only one who didn’t know I like-liked him.Stupid johnny.”Tony huffed a little before snickering slightly. “I scare lots of people. I’m sure he’s no different. But I’ll help him.”Tony muttered before snickering. “That, and he’s to busy mother henning barnes to be really worried. I mean, Barnes is more then capable of taking care of himself, but Loki follows him around like a bitch taking care of a sick pupy. It was cute.”Tony muttered, “Thanks Clint.”he muttered even as he snuggled down into the bed, content to sleep.

In the morning Tony knocked on the door before breezing into steve’s room, pausing at the sight of steve and bucky snuggled together, swallowing hard at the sight and resisting the urge to run away from the sight. Distantly remembering talking to clint the night before, having been so overtired he wasn’t sure how much of it was dream, or if it had all been real. Yelping as a pillow hit him in the face he whined a little as he caught it, glaring at the brunette super solider as Bucky smirked at him. “And here I was coming to be nice. That’s just unkind.” “what do you want, Tony?”Bucky yawned as he rolled on his side away from steve, looking at the billionaire in amusement. Maybe he was ready to be part of society again?Maybe the man had finally gotten over himself and decided to be friends?He really, really hoped cause it hurt to see steve upset with the billionaire’s ignoring. “I finished your arm. Wanted you to come down and get it fitted. Not to mention I wanted to see if Steve was doing okay.” “Steve, someone’s here to talk to you.”Bucky grumbled as he laid back down on his stomach, never a happy camper first thing in the morning, poking steve a little, though he doubted the other super soldier had managed to stay asleep with someone else in the room.
 
"You love us anyway." he muttered to Natasha. "and no. Loki avoids me because i tried to kill him." Steve admitted simply. "as long as your careful." he grumbled, shaking his head. he didn't like it, but he had no right to tell Bucky he couldn't seduce Loki.

Clint smiled. "and they broke it off because they don't love each other. they might have had sex, but they don't anymore." he pointed out. "they're closer than brothers, yes. but they aren't lovers anymore." he promised Tony with a smile. "you like him. stop trying to deny it." he ordered with a chuckle an a shake of his head. "it is cute." he agreed with a laugh. "it really is. he's just so fixated on Barnes." he agreed, sleeping next to Tony because he figured the man could use the contact but he was up before Tony was to go for his run.

Steve didn't even twitch when the door was opened. he trusted Bucky to keep him safe. he smiled a little as he realized it was Tony. good, he wasn't being ignored after all. he groaned as he was poked and moved only his arm, which he used to shove Bucky off the bed. "G'way Buck. tired." he groaned as he blinked sluggishly at Tony. "Tony... C'mere." he ordered. "you're not as annoying. sleep with me." Steve ordered, half asleep still, or he never would have asked Tony for that. "don't like to sleep alone. makes the nightmare get in." he mumbled, already drifting off to sleep with a contented sigh. he felt so relaxed knowing that Tony didn't really hate him. "...Tony?" Steve asked suddenly. "do we have any art supplies?"
 
Bucky yelped as he was pushed off the bed, hitting the floor with annoyance, swallowing hard as he bounced up to look at the other.”what the-”Bucky scowled about to protest the rough treatment before staring at steve’s order, going still as he stared at the billionaire who looked torn between wanting to and not. “I’m going to go find loki.You look like you could use some sleep, Stark.”Bucky muttered as he headed for the door, knowing without even waiting to see if he’d do it, that tony would be climbing in the bed with steve. “That’s the second time you’ve asked me to sleep with you. Should I be worried about my virtue?”Tony teased a little, deflecting because despite everything, the man couldn’t believe that steve wanted him like that. Looking amused as he slid into bed with the other, he shifted around to get comfortable, playing on the stark pad as he let steve lay next to him, just relaxing as he worked on stuff. Before pausing, startling a little at the question before nodding.”Probably. I’ll show you what we have after you wake up okay?”He muttered already switching over to new york’s biggest art supply shop and starting his shopping. Easily blowing 2000 dollars on everything he could find, or remember his father ever telling him steve used to draw, books, pencils, paints....anything and everything, having it delivered to stark tower, and sending loki a text to have him put it on one of the spare floors with a good view of the city, and really hoping steve would write off the art supplies as something he’d kept around, and not something tony had bought for him. “You awake sleeping beauty?”He asked as he finished his shopping, looking down at the man.

“steve’s being mean, loki. And-”Bucky stopped looking at the art supplies loki was carting into the room, staring for a long moment, having stopped to get a shower and clean up before going to find the other man. “What in the world is all that?”He said staring.
 
Steve smiled a little at Bucky, a silent plead in his eyes. sorry that he'd been so rough but the more sleepy he acted, the more likely it would be that Tony wouldn't look into his actions. "hmmm. yes." Steve muttered, admitting that Tony's virtue was at risk even if he knew Tony wouldn't beleive him. he snuggled into Tony, his head laying on the others hip with a small sigh. "mmmm-kay." he mumbled as he dozed, sitting a little at Tony's voice, shaking his head. "no... shhh." he ordered, simply wanting to snuggle into Tony.

Loki snorted. "when isn't Steve being mean?" he asked, looking amused before he looked down at the boxes that had been delivered. "it's just Tony being Tony." he admitted. "Steve asked if there where any Art supplies and Tony decided to buy the whole store and pretend he always had it because he knows spending that much money on him makes Steve feel weird and like he's taking advantage." Loki admitted. "give me a hand? i want to get it all set up like a Studio before Steve wakes up." he admitted as he texted Tony that the supplies where in and that he was setting everything up on the 79'th floor. "Steve was in school for Art wasn't he?" Loki asked suddenly. "where you going to school for anything?" he asked, honestly curious about Bucky. the more he learned, the more he wanted to get into Buck's pants.
 
Bucky snorted a little looking sleepy himself as he headed for the door, looking vaguely amused that steve was going to trick tony into snuggling, when he probably just had to ask. “I think I like this morally compromised Cap. Next tthing you know you’ll be admitting you like public sex and blow jobs.”Tony snickered to himself, finding this sleepy cap amusing, absently working on the tablet as he saw loki text him back. “You don’t sound asleep. You want food?”Tony muttered absently running his fingers through blond hair, not really aware he was doing it.

“Hm, that’s a good point, but he’s being nice to Stark right now. It seems wrong I’m getting shoved around because of that.”Bucky pouted before his eyes widened. “Really? He did this...simply because Steve asked?”Bucky sputtered a little at the idea of howard stark’s son blowing this much money simply on what probably had been a throw away question on steve’s part instead of a serious one. Knowing steve liked drawing, but knowing steve wouldn’t have ever considered tony doing this. The fact that it was howard’s kid being the generous was insane and world spinning. “Hm, I’ll give you a hand.”Bucky smirked, a leer to the words as he picked up the boxes and helped him get things ready. “yea, worked as a comic writer for awhile to during school. And no, I ended up on the docks working two shifts to make sure steve got a chance to go to school, and we could have a place besides the orphanage. He was the more talented of us, I could at least see that he got a chance to do what he loved....not to mention he would have never survived the docks.”
 
Steve smirked. "i was in the war. all sex was public sex." he mumbled. "and i don't know about Blowjobs... never had one though, Bucky kept getting squeamish and i was never too interested on having my mouth there. it's dirty." he admitted with a yawn. "i am asleep. this is sleep talking. look how much i'm not awake." he mumbled. "not hungry." he grumbled as he snuggled more tightly into Tony with a sigh.

Loki chuckled. "it's kind of a shock still that he can push you around, isn't it?" he asked with a smile. "besides, as much as both of them are pining over the other, this is a good thing. it's getting gross watching them." he admitted. "Tony's a complicated man. he doesn't care about money in the least. it's never done anything for him but make him unhappy. he knows it makes people uncomfortable though, so he spends it on people in secrete. like the rooms. you've seen the suites?" Tony spent months, and upwards of 3.6million dollars outfitting special made rooms for every member of the Avengers and they don't even know it." he admitted. "it makes him happy to know that his money made someone else happy, and by proxy, he made someone happy. he never had many freinds because his father was a fucking psychopath and Tony was a genius, so now that he has them he doesn't have the social skills needed to show him how much he appreciates them. so he does this instead." Loki admitted as he started unpacking the Boxes. "wow... Tony really did buy everything." he muttered, looking amused before he sobered, looking up at Bucky. "you're probobly the best freind he could ever have had." he admitted with a smile. "i heard he sold a few pieces before he became Captain America... don't tell, but i think Tony has them now." he admitted as he set up some easels. "life must have been hell when you where growing up... do you want me to blow u the orphanage? because i will if you want me to. i'll get away with it."
 
“...Now there is a mental image worth imagining. Cap having public sex.”Tony snickered shuddering a little before shaking his head.”You don’t know what you’re missing, capsicle.”He smirked amused as he looked down at the other, fingers stilling as he realized he was playing with steve’s hair, studying the man for a long moment before deciding he was still asleep enough to allow himself to do this, even as he let the other snuggle him, carefully shifting his hips away just so steve wouldn’t figure out just how he was reacting to being snuggled against. “You’re adorably sleep talking. Makes me want to keep asking you things to see what you’ll say.”

:It really is a fairly annoying shock.”Bucky huffed a little before laughing. “They have been pining something fierce haven’t they?I’m glad I’m not the only one who realized that.”Bucky smirked a little before tilting his head. “Yea, I’ve seen the suites. Steve’s looks like our apartment.”Bucky smiled his eyes widening as he realized just how much money and time tony had taken to making sure the avengers felt at home here. “...His father was a fucking jackass that Cap nearly killed. Did you hear about the time he punched him?It was amazing. Really. Totally laid him out on the ground after Howard kept harassing one of the commandos about being gay. It was utterly glorious to watch Howard go down like a sack of bricks.”Bucky snickered as he helped loki unpack stuff, eyes widening as he studied everything.”He really did...this is...more then steve’s ever had. Steve’s going to know he spent alot on this.”He muttered before looking over at Loki smiling slightly. “He did.They were good. There’s one of me out there somewhere.”He said before pausing, thoughtfully. “What?Really?Did...howard buy them?”He said looking annoyed with the idea, because he hadn’t liked the man, and didn’t like the idea of him even having that much of something that had been his and steve’s, since it had been a picture of the rare down time they’d had without having to hide anything, since bucky had made a few extra bucks posing nude for steve’s fine arts class, so it had been a interesting picture to draw. “It was....more so for him. I could handle the physical strain of whatever torture they wanted to put us through.He was to sick...you saw him. He was a wreck.”He sighed before grinning. “That would be awesome, but we better ask steve first, otherwise he’ll probably freak.”
 
Steve hummed a little. "it was mostly really rushed duel masturbation sessions." he admitted. "Gays weren't exactly accepted." he admitted. "if we'd been caught in the war, we probobly would have been dishonorably discharged and then arrested for indecentness or something." he mumbled, not sure why tony was squirming but protesting it anyways. "i'll never lie to you." Steve murmured softly. "you can ask me anything." Steve promised before he groaned. "i gotta piss." he whined, sulking as he slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes, grunting as he tried to untangle himself from the blankets, which failed and he ended up on the floor with another long groan and a sulk for a moment before he finally got to his feet and into the bathroom.

Loki chuckled. "i think the entire Tower knows they're sulking." Loki admitted with a shake of his head. "Tony did a lot of research." he admitted. "to make that room perfect. Loki admitted softly before he smiled at the painting supplies. "yes, Steve is going to know a lot of Money went into this, but he won't realize that Tony spent it on Him. he'll assume this was all here for someone else and that they aren't here anymore. that's what Tony will tell him you know." Loki admitted with a chuckle. "and no, Howard didn't buy them." he admitted. "not for lack of trying, but those paintings where entirly too desirable, the people who already had them refused to sell them to the scumbag Howard. they sold it to Tony because Tony was going to donate them to a Captain America museum that never actually got built for some reason." Loki admitted before he nodded and bit his lip. "...Bucky..." he muttered, biting his lip. "...i don't want to say anything to Tony because... well, he was punished a lot as a child for a lot of things but..." he hesitated and then. "with as much as Cap hates Howard i think... when he was crashing he mentioned... i think Howard tried to rape Steve... Howard was entirely obsessed with Steve, very obsessed and i think...." he couldn't finish. how could he? it was disgusting.
 
“No they weren’t. And Howard made sure it wasn’t overly accepted after that either. Made my teenage years living hell.”He muttered before stilling, realizing the man was protesting his squirming, taking controlled easy breaths as he tried not to react before snickering as steve fell out of bed. “You okay?”He called even as he adjusted himself, glad that the jeans he was wearing were perfect erection covering jeans, before moving to get up.”If you’re awake now, we’ll go see that art stuff you wanted.”

“Probably. And most of the city, maybe.”Bucky smirked a little before smiling. “True. Probably a good thing, Steve wouldn’t like knowing that all the money was used just because he mentioned it.”Bucky said smiling slightly before looking relieved.”Good. Howard doesn’t deserve it.”he huffed a little before laughing.”probably cause Tony’s the biggest fanboy on the face of the earth. He probably has a room set up here or something with all his Cap stuff.”bucky snickered before going tense, sitting back on his heels as he stared at the floor. “He told Tony about that?And...what did tony say?”Bucky said his features tight and pained, because he knew Tony had enough emotional issues without also knowing his father nearly raped steve. Tony’s guilt complex would break him if he knew that, for sure. “I...I stopped him.He wrote it off as a drunken grope, but me and steve...we knew better. He was obsessed. After that...we simply made sure steve was never alone.”Bucky shuddered a little before frowning.”What...what do you mean tony was punished?”He asked, curious to exactly how horrible a childhood would have been with Howard, needing to know, so he could warn steve just what kind of landmines he’d probably step on.
 
Steve tensed a little at the mention of Howard but shook it off quickly. "fine." he grumbled. "yeah... i miss art. i haven't done it since my dancing monkey days." he admitted. "i miss it." he admitted with a smile. "i sold a few pieces before i was accepted into the Army you know. it wasn't very good you know, but from what i understand they're worth a hell of a lot of money these days." he admitted. "i used to love it so much." he admitted with a smile as he followed Tony.

"well i don't know about the city." Loki admitted. "we keep a tight lid on what happens up here. not even Shield knows that Steve is... crashing because we're not sure who can be trusted there." he admitted. "after all, you where in Shield Database." he admitted. "so we're not sure who can be trusted." he admitted as he shook his head. "i think Tony's forgotten all about them honestly." he admitted with a snicker. "no, Tony never heard about it." he admitted. "Steve only mentioned it once when Tony was being forced to eat. i didn't tell Tony." Loki admitted as he glanced at Bucky. "i think this one was... not the one you where thinking of." he admitted. "i think Howard might have tried more than once... and i don't exactly know what that bastard did to Tony... but i know it hurt, and it left him pretty damn scarred." he admitted. "and not just mentally or emotionally." Loki admitted. "i think Johnny knows some of it, but Johnny won't betray Tony's trust." he admitted before he paused as he realized tony was coming up. "Tony's on his way up." he warned. "Steve's with him."
 
“I wouldn’t say they’re horrible. Better then the paintings I had in my office before I got them anyways.”Tony huffed a little, because while he remembered he had them, he very rarely spent time in his actual office, so he didn’t see them every day. But bucky was right, he did have a little captain america fanboy thing going on, and it was all reserved for the office where he never went, so no one else went either. “Well, I’m sure you can enjoy it again. It’s not like we’re fighting every day you know.”he pointed out as they headed upstairs.

“Good thing that, not trusting everyone.”Bucky muttered shuddering a little before looking relieved that tony didn’t know. Because that would make their awkward little courting ritual all the more awkward if tony knew. “Good...I mean..not good it happened, but at least Tony doesn’t know.”he rubbed a hand over his face before frowning. “I-It might have....I mean...I went missing, and things from what I can tell, fell apart....”He sighed quietly wondering if he’d failed his friend before frowning, anger crossing his face. Because no matter what howard had done to steve, steve was Cap, and big and strong enough to protect himself if he had to. A child tony never had a chance. “Well, at least he has one person who knows. That he can talk to...”he muttered quietly, before nodding, letting the subject drop as the two avengers stepped out of the elevator. “Here you go Cap. Enough arty things to give even you wet dreamsa about.If anything’s missing, let me know.”Tony said smirking a little, though there was a hesitancy there, studying steve to see what he thought.
 
Steve blinked and then went bright red. "you've... uh, seen them?" he asked, flushing hard as he looked away. he had done only three true paintings, one of the Brooklyn bridge, one of central park and one of the newly completed empire State building. there where a few others as well, one of a nude Bucky, some of the Howling Commandos. hundreds of sketches of the War and of himself as a dancing monkey, each of which was worth more than a thousand dollars each simply because they where old and made from a national icon. "yeah, that's why i asked if you had any art supplies." he admitted. "just having a pencil in my hand again will be nice." he admitted.

Loki nodded. "Steve took it a little hard though. he's still used to the government being the good guys." he admitted as he shook his head. "i think Steve's doing everything he can to make sure that Tony never, ever finds out but i think Tony already suspects at the very least." he admitted with a sigh. "Steve held together rather well after you... fell, from what i understand. he even won the war." he admitted before looking up as Steve came in. "...wow." he muttered, shocked as he looked around. "you just have an Art room?" "one of the people Tony wanted to bring in was an Artist." Loki lied, shaking his head. "the man decided he didn't want to answer to anyone and bailed. this was all for him at the time but now it's just sitting here." Loki continued. "so you're welcome to everything." Loki promised with a smile. "you can have the whole Studio if you want." Steve stared at Loki and Bucky understood that Steve knew they where lying, and was grateful for it. they thought they where fooling Steve, and he was letting them so he didn't feel so bad. "this is awesome." he admitted with a smile as he touched a canvas, his head tilted as he looked out at the Skyline before he picked out a pad and some pencils so he could go sit down again. his legs where still extremely shaky. "are you sure it's okay for me to use all of this stuff?"
 
“Uh....yea?Maybe?”Tony ducked his head, blushing brightly, not about to admit just how many drawings he’d bought over the year, cause that was so embarassing. “A few anyways.”he said brushing it off, even if he knew steve would know there was a bigger story there before smiling.”Well, I’m sure there’s a pencil or two in the mess.”he snickered.

“Steve can sometimes be delusional. Tony knows to much about his father, and how he was, to not suspect if Steve gives him enough pieces to work the puzzle with.”Bucky said before sighing quietly, looking pained and worried before smirking as steve came in, hiding the worry he felt in favor of laughing at his friend. Nearly stuffing his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing at the look on steve’s face. “I do. It’s really a whole floor.”Tony said tilting his head watching steve, and missing that steve knew they were lying. Bucky smirked a little as he watched tony poke through the things he’d bought, shrugging a little at steve’s look, he knew they weren’t fooling him, but at least they could let tony think he was being subtle about it. Snickering quietly as tony caught steve’s elbow in his hand without thinking on it, holding onto the man to keep him on his feet. “Yea, if you don’t it’ll go to waste or something, and that would be horrible. Now. Are you going to stay down here, or do you want to go hang out in the penthouse?"
 
Steve blinked at Tony and then smiled a little. "you have an entire room of my paintings and sketches don't you Tony?" he asked, looking amused. "you can have them... unless you have the one of Naked Bucky. he's going to want that back." he warned with a grin.

Loki nodded. "somehow, Steve is still under the impression that Tony liked his Father." he admitted with a shake of his head before frowning at Bucky's reaction to the lie, giving him a glare because he was scared Steve was going to realize it wasn't a lie. "it's awesome." Steve admitted as he looked around, his chest feeling warm as he looked through the half unpacked stuff, and really! they had the date on the packaging! they really didn't think Steve would notice this!? he picked out one of the massive sets of colored pencils. 150 separate colors in a protective little box. a few shading pencils and a regular pencil, an eraser a few sharpeners and smiled. "let's go hang out in the penthouse." he decided. "i don't feel like being alone." he admitted.
 
“...No. I am not that much of a geek, Rogers. “Though Bucky’s might, might be hanging in my office. Just maybe.”Tony said squirming a little under the other’s amused look because he just knew that sometime the others were going to want to see the captain america room, and that was just so so embarassing.

“That’s a disturbing thought. I might have to disabuse him of that.”Bucky said making a face at that, shrugging helplessly at loki’s frown, because ht totally knew that this was never going to work. Steve wasn’t stupid enough to not realize this was freshly delivered, at tony’s demand. “Good. Awesome. Only the best stuff for our captain.”Tony babbled a little as he poked through things holding steve’s arm before grinning. “We should put in a movie. I mean, I can get bucky’s arm done on my laptop, so that’s not to bad. Or I’ll work on something else. Maybe. If you want.”Tony rambled as they headed back for the penthouse, adeciding, dream or not, to follow clint’s advice and try and spend time with them. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad? walking into the penthouse he fussed and got steve settled on the couch before muttering something about getting his laptop before walking out. Bucky snickered as he collapsed onto the couch next to Steve, slanting a glance at his friend as he sprawled out next to him. "we need to talk, when he's not coming back soon."Bucky muttered because he knew steve had thought tony would be like howard, and he needed to know there were emotional scars between father and son, just in case steve said something.
 
Steve smirked. "you are a geek. just as bad as C..." and he paused, his face shuttering closed for a moment because he had forgotten that they did not speak of Agent Coulson. not because they felt bad about the death, but because they all blamed themselves for it.

Loki nodded. "we might have to, but i don't know what actually happened between Father and son other than a few things that tony has accidentally let Slip." he admitted. "i don't know how bad it really was, but abuse of any kind and any level has severe mental and emotional effects." he admitted. "Tony's never had any help for those effects at all and it's a lot of why he is the way he is." Loki admitted before smiling as Steve flushed. "...i'm not worth all that." but he sounded rather pleased and it was clear he was saying it because he was embarrassed, not because he honestly thought he was worthless. which he did some-days. "i like movies." Steve agreed. "especially the ones with colors." he admitted as he let himself be fussed right onto a couch, tucking his legs so he could get comfortable. "....talk? sure." Steve agreed, feeling a bit worried even as he started to draw. he'd start with Bucky, but as the others trickled in, he worked on adding the others into the picture, finally working Tony in as he came in last, everyone chattering as they watched the movie or worked on their projects, Clint beaming at Tony when the man came in showed it hadn't been a dream. Steve fell asleep halfway through the movie, leaving a picture half done, with only Tony done enough to tell it was him at first glance, though Nat wasn't far behind, probobly because those two where the most still for the longest periods of time. it was the most relaxed anyone had seen Steve in months though, clearly the artistry soothed him.
 
“I am not!Not that bad.”Tony said before giving steve a similiar look, for the same reason steve did. They just couldn’t deal with it.

“Well, if anyone can get him to talk, it’d be steve.Maybe.”Bucky frowned thinking about it, before huffing.”...You think it wasn’t that bad?If the damage we’re looking at is equal to how bad it was...you know it was worse then just emotional abuse, and you know it.”Bucky said slanting a look towards loki smirking as steve flushed. “You are. You’re a national icon, a treasure among men, my personal favorite air condition, I mean, standing near you is like standing near a furnace, and loki you can make me shut up any time now.”Tony growled making a face as he wandered out of the room. “Don’t look so worried. It’s not about you.”Bucky muttered smiling as they all settled in to watch the movie, amused that by the end, it was tony and natasha who were the most done. Though he couldn’t tell if it was steve’s fascination with Stark or if it was because he was sitting still that he got to be done first. But it was amusing.


When steve woke up it was just bucky and him, and the brunette smiled a little as he looked down at him, “So loki told me some things when we were talking later, that I think you need to know about.”He muttered nudging the other towards his feet. “Let’s go out on the balcony. If I’m going to talk about Stark, we’re not doing it where he can hear it.”He muttered that low quiet tone that they had perfected, only super soldier hearing allowing to hear it.
 
Loki shook his head. "i didn't say that James." he stated sternly. "i said that all Abuse leaves psychological effects no matter the level. i am quite certain Howard's... sickness, left him quite capable of doing the worst to his son." he admitted. "....but i hope not..." he admitted with a shake of his head. Steve scowled though at the mention of being a national Icon, he didn't like that Tony would focus on that instead of him as a person. "sorry Tony, i was staring at Bucky's ass." Loki admitted. Loki only called him James in private. it was a thrill that he could use Bucky's 'real' name when others couldn't or wouldn't. it felt like a private thing though, so he never did it when there where others within listening distance. Steve just scowled harder at Loki's comment and settled into a fine sulk as they headed upstairs. the drawing soothed him though and he refused to admit that he'd drawn Natasha because she was... well, he hated to admit it but she was his 'favorite'. he could talk to her about anything. and Tony because it made him feel warm and tingly to draw him.

"i hate Loki." Steve groaned sleepily. "is the movie over?" he asked, looking surprised that he'd fallen asleep, sighing a little and shaking his head. "...what kind of things did he tell you?" he asked, looking worried as he followed Bucky out to the Balcony. "Bucky, what is it?" he demanded, worried, his tone soft, and thankfully out on the Balcony, Jarvis couldn't spy on them and read their lips either. "Bucky... is this about how Tony's been acting the last couple of days? is he sick? he's not dying again is he?"
 
Bucky winced making a face, “I know. I’m just being a ass about it. Cause I so don’t want to consider what Howard did to his son.”He muttered shuddering a little. Tony winced at Steve’s scowl, his mental panic showing on his face as he scrambled to think of what to say to make it better, to not have steve angry with him before making a face at loki. “I don’t care. His ass isn’t that nice.”Tony grumbled even as they headed upstairs.

“I know you do.And yes, you fell asleep.But you needed it.”Bucky muttered before swallowing hard as they walked outside, trying to think of how to say it best, but knowing it was be better to just have a clean break. “some. And no, not dying, unless you count him beating himself up more then normal.”Bucky sighed softly, pulling out the pack of cigarettes he’d gotten from Natasha, lightening up as he leaned against the balcony railing, taking a long drag before slanting a glance at steve. “You were what Howard used to abuse Tony with. Comparing him to you, told him he would never be enough, or that you would be ashamed of him...blah, blah, blah...you know Howard, the abuse would have gone on longer.”He sighed quietly, running his fingers through his hair. “And he has that thing about being handed things. I spent most of today trying to hand him things, just to see, and he got edgier each time I did. He has daddy issues, and it seems the two things he always heard about, were me and you. He’s not been dealing well...and being attracted to you, has left him a complete mess. I had been going to let you figure out on your own, but with your own issues with Howard...I figured it was better to give you a heads up before you stepped on a landmine.”
 
Loki nodded. "i understand." he promised Bucky with a smile before he laughed at Tony's complained, making Steve's scowl lighten into a snicker. "i agree. i've seen better." Steve admitted, smiling a little at Tony.

i was in the middle of a picture... now i don't have the people here to draw them." he grumbled with a sigh as he followed Bucky. "Tony is the sort of person who thinks everything is his fault." Steve agreed, shaking his head a little before focusing on the cigarettes and reaching out. he couldn't have crack, but a cigarette would be okay right? of course, he stole it from Bucky's lips and took a small inhale with a sigh. he handed it back over to the other when he felt his lungs tightening, groaning because he knew too many puffs would set his asthma off, which meant he couldn't have cigarettes either. dammit. "..." he stared at Bucky, his eyes wide with utter horror. "oh my god..." he muttered. "i mean. i suspected that Howard had hit Tony but..." he sat down because his legs couldn't support himself anymore, clinging to the guard rails that had been installed the first time Steve had taken a header off of the platform. "....fuck...." Steve muttered, pressing his thumbs into the corners of his eyes. "fuck. fuck i should have killed the fucker..." he whispered. "Tony wouldn't exist then but at least he wouldn't have suffered." he hissed, shuddering violently as he pulled his knees to his chest. "...he drugged me you know. a few days before i was frozen. he tried to..." he shuddered again. "but even drugged to the gills he couldn't keep me down. i broke his arm in a few places and ran away but he got close." he admitted softly. "maybe me and Tony just shouldn't be together, there's so much bad things in our history, how could we ever work together?"
 
“You’ll be able to finish it. Just ask Jarvis to show you a freeze frame of what the team looked like.”Bucky said before smirking a little.”He is.”He agreed before making a protest growl at the stolen cigarette but let him take a drag. “Tony’s going to freak if he finds out about that you know. Asthmatics don’t do well with cigarettes you know.”he pointed out before yelping as he caught the other’s arm, helping him ease down to the ground before sitting down next to him. Not sure what to say to offer comfort before paling, cursing quietly as he shifted, wrapping his arms around the other, pulling him close, pressing a kiss to his hair. “I’m so sorry steve, that I wasn’t there. He shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry...but so very glad that you could protect yourself...”He shuddered a little, because he had a feeling that if tony knew about this, he’d be even more guilt ridden then he already was over things. “...I’d say that you shouldn’t, if I didn’t see the way tony reacts to being around you. And if I didn’t know you, rogers. You light up when he walks into the room, which makes his thoughts on you ‘hating’ him, make me want to resurrect Howard just so I can kill him. That boy’s got his head messed up, but you’d be good together, I think. If you can get through to him...From what loki says, he’s not dealing well with when he thought you guys hated him...”He trailed off, sighing quietly shaking his head, pressing a kiss to steve's hair. "I didn't tell you this to tell you you two shouldn't try, but so you could try and help each other recover."
 
Steve paused and then. "...i keep forgetting that he can do things like that." he admitted sheepishly. "he's been a lot of help, getting me used to the new Era... i'm actually starting to enjoy myself a bit." he admitted with a smile and a shake of his head. "...yeah, i know. i forgot about the Asthma thing... thought maybe it might help with the ache." he admitted, rubbing his chest. "i still Want them so bad." he admitted with a sigh. "it's so, so hard to control myself sometimes." the last time it had gotten this bad he locked himself in the bathroom for three hours and made Jarvis not open it until the craving went down. "it wasn't your fault." he promised as he leaned into Bucky. "Howard was sick. and he was obsessed with me, i knew better than to give him a chance." he muttered softly as he closed his eyes. "...he makes me feel..." he whispered. "it's so hard to feel without the Cocaine, but he makes me feel things. he makes it hard to be sad or upset." he admitted with a sheepish smile. "he makes life here... a little less frightening... how the HELL did i not realize i was sweet on him earlier?" he asked, sounding a bit baffled. "i mean really..." he grumbled, shaking his head. "i wouldn't mind killing Howard." he admitted as he shook his head. "you're right. i gotta tell him i like him. clearly subtlty isn't working..." but he wouldn't and they both knew it. "i'm gonna go back to drawing for a while." he decided. "thanks for telling me Buck." he muttered.

later that night though, he needed, needed, NEEDED and decided that the best way to get through it was to seek Tony out for some of that pain sex thing he liked so much.
 
“Well, remember now. Cause it’ll make drawing more interesting. Less hard on the models anyways.”Bucky said smiling a little before sighing. “You’ll probably keep wanting them. You know, it’s like alcohol, you want it so bad it hurts sometimes, but you have to get through it....and ask for help when you can;t.”Bucky said shuddering a little closing his eyes, because no matter what steve said, he still felt it was his fault, but he knew better then to argue. “I know it did...Well, you were drugged to the gills. Probably dulled whatever sweetness you were feeling for tony.”Bucky smiled looking amused at the other’s bafflement, before grinning. “Clearly. And you should.You really should. He’d do well hearing it.”Bucky said even if he knew steve wouldn’t take the advice, before smiling. “You’re welcome. Enjoy your drawing.”He smiled looking worried as he watched the man go.

“Cap?”Tony said looking up from the book he was reading, his dark hair sticking up every which way, curled up on the couch with a glass of scotch, and for once, not his manic self, or being driven by to many ideas, but idly reading. Well. Sort of. He was reading the newest engineering book, but for him, that was idle reading. “What’s up?”Tony said tossing the book to the coffee table and focusing on the man in front of him, his eyebrows drawing together, looking worried.
 
he nodded. "yeah..." he muttered, his head tilted a little. "yeah." he muttered, smiling a little before he cringed. "i hope not. i don't think i can stand it if it hurts like this all the time." he admitted with a sigh and a shake of his head. "yeah, probobly." he agreed as he headed off to get a good picture of Tony.

"Tony." Steve breathed, staggering over to him, falling to his knees in front of Tony, clutching his hips as if trying to steady himself. "Tony i Need." he whispered. his voice tight, frightened, desperate. "i need you to stop me. tie me down. hit me until the need goes away." he whispered. "please. hurt me until it goes away. hurt me like you hurt Johnny." he whispered. "please... please Tony..."
 
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