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Misguided Genius(lady/moon)

“Uh, I was sorta not aware?I mean, I was but not until Loki pointed it out.”Tony squirmed a little because it was a rarity that tony wasn’t self aware. Glaring over his shoulder in sleepy amusement at the smack, shuddering a little as he left.

“...You know better then that, Steve. Just be glad we’re both sick enough that I’m not kicking your ass for it.”Bucky grumbled dipping his head to nuzzle the other. “...Uh, maybe?I mean, it’s food so it’d be good...”Tony said before looking at loki, looking relieved at the other’s words, because he was so horrible at taking care of other people. “Can’t hate him. It’s your own fault, Rogers you can’t eat.”Tony huffed watching the two super soldiers. Bucky twitched a little resisting the urge to follow and make sure Steve was okay, even if he did stay in bed, he watched the other, both tony and bucky knowing better then to try to help since steve was such a stubborn bastard. By the time Steve emerged from the shower Tony was being quiet, which was, well odd, considering tony was so rarely quiet over things, stuffing his face with food before he bounced to his feet. “Good to see you up Steve. But I have to get some work done, company’s having some new designs they wanted me to look at.”Tony said gabbering because well, he was feeling badly,though he was still far enough removed from everything after his utter domination the night before, so while he was aware something was bothering him(and no, he wasn’t admitting it to anyone, much less himself what it was) but removed enough it wasn’t really bothering him yet. Just giving him that twitch to hide down in the lab for awhile.
 
Steve sighed a little. "i can't help it. it hurts." he admitted. "and i want it so much...." he admitted with a shudder because in that instant, he realized just how out of control he really was. he had convinced himself that it would be okay, because he was in control. but he wasn't. the sudden realization made him feel sick. "i do hate him." Steve growled, grumpy again because he realized how fucked up he really was. "i hate him and i hate Johnny!" Steve snarled. but only because they where close to Tony and Tony liked them. though he wasn't sure why that bothered him. he took his time int he shower, sitting on the floor because he was too exaughsted to stay standing while he was washing. but he was soon back in the room, blinking at Tony's manicness, Loki sighing a little. "uh. yeah. okay Tony." Steve muttered as he watched tony and Loki leave, sighing as he slumped back into the bed, feeling like crying. apparently Tony still didn't like him. even though the man had sat up with him for the last three days... even though Steve had admitted that he wanted to be freinds. he wanted his drugs. "Bucky? would you get me some juice?" he asked hopefully. "i'm thirsty." and he wanted to get out of this house away from people who cared about him. but for once, he had no interest in going and getting high. he wanted to go home.
 
“I know, but no, you can’t.”Bucky sighed quietly watching him. Tony’s eyes widened at getting yelled at, his head hanging a little before he perked up again.”Okay okay steve. Whatever you say.”He muttered because he took it for real instead of simply steve being angry. Flicking a glance between steve and bucky he tilted his head. “I do have to get some work done.I’ll check in on you later.”Tony smiled a little, looking slightly hopeful that it was okay, despite him having bucky again. Bucky smiled watching the billionaire leave before smiling slightly, “I got you.”the man said looking thoughtful and interested in the people around him, mostly wanting to know what was going on with steve and tony ,but for the moment, just settling in to taking care of him/

Which was why, two days later the man was utterly confused by how steve and tony functioned together. Humming a little in pleasure as he settled onto the bed next to steve he slanted a glance at him, wondering how to bring up what he wanted to know, but deciding to let it go for now. Surely steve knew tony was acting out because he was jealous. “So. Loki said you’re probably well enough to go for a walk, if you want. Even gave me car keys to go for a drive.”Bucky said having actually convinced tony on that, because he was convinced steve was going a little stir crazy simply staying in bed when the serum made him want to get up, get moving like all the time.

Tony glanced up at the archer as the man walked into the room, despite the slight manicness to his work the last two days, the man was okay. Well within his normal manicness, the man simply working almost 48 hours straight to avoid thinking about anything else. “Hey. I have new arrows for you. Look.For practice.”Tony grinned as he raised his hands, the lightweight version of clint’s bow in his hands, half hologram half real, the arrows themselves hologram.”I know you were disappointed at not being able to actually do archery during team practice, so I thought, holograms would work.”He said watching the other man, more then anything, he was aoviding wanting to go be with steve, since steve didn’t need him anymore, didn’t want his company anymore. Not realizing that he was upsetting steve just as much. He was so, so horrible at reading other people sometimes....which meant all the time.
 
two days later Steve was pretty sure he was going to go insane, completely insane. he hated it there, he hated how Jarvis was always watching, hated how Clint kept looking into the room, hated how Johnny was around all the time, hated how Natasha would sit there when Bucky needed to sleep, hated how Loki made him eat even when he didn't want to and hated, Hated how he ached, always for the drugs he knew he couldn't have. "...i can go outside!?" Steve asked, looking surprised before he smiled a little. "please. i'm, going insane in here." he admitted, wondering if he could slip away from Bucky for a few hours. he had no interest in going to his dealer. he didn't want his drugs, no matter how much he ached for them. he just wanted to go home for a while. "i'll get dressed." Steve decided as he slid carefully out of bed, because he was much stronger, despite his appetite coming and going almost randomly. "where are we going to go? Central Park?"

Clint smiled as he walked in, examining the man. "thanks Tony. that's great." Clint stated, examining the arrows intently. how do they work?" he asked, frowning a little. "and please remember that i never made it past the fifth grade okay?" he asked with a smile. "Bucky's taking Steve outside for a little while so i thought i'd come drag you into open air for a little while. since you're avoiding him and all." he admitted. "Loki's making your favorite food." Johnny had to do back to his own team so they could go handle another Dr. Doom moment. the man had been contemplating just leaving them to it, but since the avengers probobly wouldn't pitch in this time with Steve... hurt, he'd figured he'd better make sure they didn't die.
 
“Yea, you can. I asked Loki and Tony if it was okay, since I know you’ve been going insane.”Bucky smiled slightly, “tilting his head slightly as he studied him. “I was thinking Brooklyn. I want to go home steve.”Bucky sighed quietly, for the first time since he’d woken, really looking like he’d spent nearly 70 years on ice, and he was tired, and feeling alone and adrifted, and wanted so much, to find a connection to the past, and with steve, he might just figure out how to bridge the gap between the world he knew, and the world he found himself in now. Though he knew better then to move and help steve, he hovered a little at his side, quiet as he got dressed and they headed up to the garage, pausing outside the workshop.”You want to invite him?”Bucky asked tilting his head towards clint and tony as they headed for the other side of the garage to get a car. Almost glad that the glass walls of the lab separated them, because he really did want to figure out their awkward little relationship before he needled it to much.

“Welcome.”Tony hummed, completely oblivious to the super soldiers leaving, smiling as he took the bow back, “Just like your real one. Finger commmands to change what kind of arrow your using, and while it wont cause real damage, in the training room it will show a image of it. And when you want to use it, just ask jarvis to start the program.”Tony smiled before frowning at the other, slanting a glance towards him. “I’m not avoiding him.I’m just giving him time with Barnes.”Tony wrinkled his nose in thought because he knew, he so knew he was avoiding steve, but it wasn’t any of clint’s business on why he was doing it. Nope, wasn’t clint’s business that he was so jealous he couldn’t see straight when he was in the room with them. Nope, wasn’t his business that he wanted to screw his teammate six ways to Sunday...he’d just have to deal with it.
 
Steve blinked a little and then smiled, sagging. "i would like that." he whispered. "i want to go home... i hate it here." he admitted softly. "i want to go home too." he admitted as he pulled on his pants and his shirt and followed Bucky out to the car. "...no." Steve muttered as he noticed Tony. "no i don't want him with. not for this. besides, Johnny will be back soon... and i don't want to see him..." that was a lie, not that Steve really knew it. he just didn't want to see Tony and Johnny together. "let's go. okay?..."

Clint smiled a little. "very cool." he muttered, sounding astonishingly impressed. "you know. S.H.I.E.L.D Tech hasn't got shit on you." he admitted as he examined the bow. "i'll try these right away." he promised. "you are avoiding him. but it's okay, i understand why." Clint promised, smiling at the other. "come on tony. they've already left. come up for some air. you can kick my ass at Mario Cart, or i can kick yours in Halo. maybe watch that crap you watch... if Loki isn't watching that shitty cooking show again... seriously. it's creepy the way he takes notes. you have GOT to get him to stop. i think he takes over the main TV just to watch us be weirded out by his obsessions."
 
“You hate it here because Stark’s avoiding you. But yes, let’s go home.”Bucky smiled a little shaking his head, because really, the two were making him curious. And the fact that the sexual tension between the two could leave him hard and aching half the time, and still leave them oblivious just made him want to meddle, even if he knew steve wouldn’t like it. “Fine, let’s go.”Bucky smiled as he slid into the car,glad that somewhere over the last 70 years he’d learned to drive, smirking a little as he headed out to brooklyn, and within the hour they were standing outside where the orphanage was, smiling slightly to see that it was still there, despite the obvious changes, it really was like coming home. It was still home.”It’s...it’s weird like this...like I should walk into the shop and find the people we left behind...”he swallowed hard.

“I know. And no matter what Fury says, I’m not outfitting the whole agency with my stuff. I like making things for the team, you guys are mine, shield’s not mine. Not enough to make me want to give them awesome tech.”Tony said before grinning pleased that the archer was liking them before frowning.”...Fine. And I can totally kick your ass at halo.”Tony huffed a little though he didn’t look overly pleased with being dragged out, but he knew he’d end up having a serious talk if he kept refusing. “...Just tell him to go watch with Cap. Cap enjoys watching that shit with him.”Tony huffed a little as they walked into the room, looking vaguely annoyed with being dragged out of his lab, and trying not to think to hard, before frowning.”Wait. Does everyone think I’m sulking over barnes being here?Cause that’s totally not it. I really do have work to do. You know, billionaire CEO here, I can’t totally leave my company to others now that Pepper’s not around, and I don’t trust anyone else to do it. I am so totally not obsessing over anything.”Tony frowned as he slumped onto the couch, looking annoyed as he turned on the tv to start the video game.
 
Steve looked at Bucky, completely baffled by the comment. "Tony's not avoiding me, he spends weeks at a time in his lab. he probobly had inspiration. you of all people should recognize it, i get that way sometimes." yes he had. Steve had been just about to enter Art School and had intended to go on and make something of his life when the War started, and then Steve fixated so wholly on that it drove thoughts of art out of his mind. he hadn't picked up a pencil and paper since the experiment that left him the way he was. "...it is weird..." Steve muttered, examining the place he and Bucky had called home. growing up as two pathetic orphans with no homes, no mamas and no life. the orphanage had long been shut down. "do you remember when we where little, and starving, we used to sneak into the kitchens. you would always get caught to be a distraction and i would walk off with as much food as i could carry... you always got hit for it..." he muttered as he walked into the old building, dust flying up to tickle Steve's nose, making him sneeze. "she used to lock us in the basement when she really made us mad, or in the closet... i never got over hating the tight dark spaces..."

Clint smiled as he nodded. "you're ours too you know, Tony... your ours too." he promised. "and you can't beat an assassin at a game built for assassins." he complained, rolling his eyes. "Steve doesn't like TV period Tony. Steve hates the entire modern world because he can't understand a word that comes out of peoples mouths..." he flushed hard. "he asked me what a pimp was. can you beleive that? i just about died... at least he's stopped glaring at me for taking his stash..." he grumbled. "though i don't think he'll ever forgive Loki..." he admitted. "hell. even i've forgiven Loki... he and i had a long talk about our crappy childhoods... did you know he has the hots for Barnes? it's adorable the way Loki fusses over him. it's like when he fusses over you, only two times worse, and he honestly doesn't even realize he's doing it." he admitted before looking at Tony. "Tony. Loki runs your company. you gave him CEO privileges last week remember?" Loki had faked it all, but it did the job. Loki now ran, everything. far more smoothly than Pepper ever had. Loki had even named an entire branch of the company after her. "you obsess over everything." he stated with a grin. "but then, so do i." he admitted. "Jarvis? Halo please."
 
“I do. But I don’t think that’s all of it.”Bucky huffed looking bemused and wondering if he was wrong. Maybe tony really had just gotten caught up in work. Smiling slightly asz he looked around he swallowed hard, heading for the door.”Come on.Let’s look around.”he said as he pushed open the door, swallowing hard. “Me either...I thinl that’s what made being put down so bad...the tank was small and dark.”Bucky shuddered at the memory before frowning, pausing. Glancing at steve.”You...you don’t know what happened to rebecca do you?I mean, do you think Stark could find out?”Bucky said his voice going quiet, nervous. Because he knew his younger sister was probably dead, lost to him like so much, but he also didn’t like not knowing. Hating himself a little bit for it having taken this long to think of her.

Tony smiled pleased at the news, glad he was being included, even if he had known it, his insecurities felt better at hearing it. “I so can.”Tony grinned looking amused before sighing softly.”I know...I’m working on it. I’m going to come up with something to help him.”Tony’s features twisted into frustration at not being able to help steve more, he was so going to come up with a toy or something to help, before pausing to stare at the other, before laughing.”I so wish I’d been there for that conversation.That was amusing.”he snorted a little before shrugging, sliding a glance towards clint.”Oh, look, we’ve hit sharing hour. Don’t look at me like that, the whole world already knows about my childhood. No one gets to here about me.”Tony twitched a little so wanting to avoid talking about it, but having a feeling that eventually the whole team was going to realize just how utterly horrible his father had been, but for now, he was avoiding it. Grinning at Clint’s words he snickered.”I know. And I wouldn’t call it adorable. Sickening, yes. But not adorable.Probably not. Loki doesn’t even realize he’s fussing half the time. I’m honesty glad he’s fussing over Barnes instead of me for once.”Tony said because he knew he would have been having this talk sooner if Loki had been after him instead of Bucky, simply because loki knew what tony’s current issue was, and it had nothing to do with work, and everything to do with the fact that he so desperately wanted to be steve’s friend, and not thinking he deserved it."....Stop making sense.If I'm avoiding thinking about Rogers not wanting me around anymore, you're not allowed picking apart my excuses for avoiding it."Tony grumbled slanting a glance at Clint, glaring a little so he knew to just leave it alone, before smirking as he settled in to play."I'm so going to kick your ass."
 
Steve frowned a little. "you think he's sick?" because he was still clinging desperately to the hope that Tony didn't still hate him. he stepped into the building, a little surprised. "...i remember everything being so much... bigger." he admitted, touching what had once been the caning chair. beating children had been common in orphanages, as was making them work for their meals. being as sick as he was, Steve rarely got out of any chores, he just had to do the less taxing ones. like washing the dishes, helping to cook the food, doing the laundry and scrubbing the toilette's. the things that no one else wanted to do. "i'm not sure. Tony could probobly find her." he admitted with a smile and a shake of his head. "hell, we don't even need Tony. we'll get Jarvis to do it. i already tracked the Howling Commandos. they all died." he admitted. "old age thankfully... surprisingly, Dugan of all people actually had a wife and kids. she was still alive shockingly enough. a hundred and three and she let me in for tea with her great grandkids... all of whom look exactly like Dugan." he admitted with a smile as he stared at the closet that had been his prison more than any other child's. they couldn't beat him, for fear of alerting someone. because he was sickly and bruised easily, so they tortured him psychologically instead. Steve didn't recognize the signs right away, it had been so, so long... but all of a sudden he can't breath, the dust trickling through the air making him realize what this is... an Asthma attack. he was having a fucking Asthma attack! he hadn't had one since the serum, no matter the level of dustm so why now!? "B...B...." he collapsed, struggling to pull in air, struggling to be calm, fighting the attack as best as he could. but without an inhaler... without the serum protecting him from it in the first place, what chance did he have?

Clint smiled a little at Tony. "there's not much we can do about it Tony but wait for him to calm down and get curious. he's been digging his heals in and refusing anything to do with the modern age because he's scared of it. but he'll calm down, and then we can actually start to teach him things." he promised. "maybe you could make him a book on Lingo or something?" he suggested. "that would probobly help. yeah... it was pretty awkward. he was pretty horrified that anyone could treat a woman so badly." he admitted with a chuckle. "Tony. i'm me. every hour is sharing hour." Clint pointed out. "has to be because if i so much as sulk Nat's all over me asking whats wrong." he admitted with a huff. "i don't know about your childhood." he admitted. "all i know is that Howard died when you where young and you went to collage. those are the only actual facts available to the public. the rest is gossip and rumor." he admitted. "but i won't press you, i know what it's like to have a crappy childhood... my father was a carny you know. he used to whip me with a bullwhip when i pissed him off." he admitted. "Bruce had a pretty shitty childhood too i think but Nat can't even get him to talk about it." he admitted. "i kind of wish he was. if Loki was fussing over you, then you would stop hiding in your lab all the time." he admitted with a smile. "besides, it's my job to make sense." he admitted as he picked up his controller and set out to prove Tony wrong. Clint was the master of Halo. not even Nat could beat him at this game. of course, he hadn't counted on Jarvis being able to insert himself into the game and the stupid A.I totally obliterated both of them.
 
Bucky stared at the other man for a long moment, really, could the man be that oblivious to what had set tony off?Or maybe Bucky was wrong. Looking thoughtful before snickering. “Maybe.”Bucky said before snickering. “Well, you were alot smaller then.”Bucky pointed out shaking his head as they walked around, before nodding. “We’ll ask him when we get home.”Bucky muttered sounding pleased with the idea of at least knowing what happened with his sister, before frowning a little, “Really?That’s great.”Bucky said sounding amused that dugan had gotten married before moving to steve’s side as he reacted. “Hey, hey, Stevie, it’s a psychological reaction, come on punk, you can breath. You know you can breath. The serum keeps you from not being able to breath. Okay, we’re going outside.Outside, lots of air.”Bucky babbled a little as he hustled the other to his feet and pretty much dragged him outside and back to the car, shoving the other into a seat, even as he headed back towards the tower. “Breath for me, okay?You can do it.”he said only half sure that the other’s breathing was okay.Maybe he really was having a asthma attack. Already dialing the tower, needing help.

“I know, I know, but it’s not easy waiting.”Tony grumbled because he was horrible with waiting before smirking.”I’m going to come up with something.”He muttered before snickering a little.”Oh, well that’s true. Nat’s kinda scary like that.”he said snickering before looking at the other, studying him for a long moment before relaxing.”Good. Cause that’s all that happened.”He said not about to go into it more shuddering. “Actually I didn’t know that. My dad let me help him out in the lab by the time I was five. With everything.”Tony shuddered, sharing because he felt it was only fair cause clint shared a little, not about to admit that most of the scars he had, wasn’t from iron man or from his own work in the lab, it was from when he was to young to not take everything howard handed him, had trusted his father to keep him safe, and that had never been howard’s main goal with his son. “...I am not hiding. I’m being polite and staying away from where I’m not wanted.”He frowned a little before scowling as they played. “Nooo, that’s totally not fair, Jarvis.”Tony whined before wincing as his cell rang, picking up without thinking about it, already on his feet and heading for the garage before he’d made the connection that steve wasn’t doing well, only knowing that if Barnes was calling him, something was wrong.

“Barnes?Steve?”Tony called as he hustled into the garage at the same moment bucky pulled in, looking worried as he jerked the passenger seat door open to get a good look at the man.”Steve?”He said looking over him, anxious and worried.
 
Steve nodded. "yeah. i was always the smallest child." he admitted. "sometimes i miss that." he admitted softly as he stroked the chair again, the chair that Bucky had been bent over time and time again for stealing food, for being loud, for not doing as he was told. "yeah. pretty great." he agreed before he started to choke on his own attempts to breath. "c..can....t... r..reathe... u...ucky!" Steve gasped, choking on his words, choking on his air, desperate to breath, panic swirling inside as he struggled for air, struggled not to pass out, because if he went out, he would never wake up. he struggled for air, trembling in the car, but without the dust in the air his lungs where starting to recover. he was still wheezing, but he wasn't about to pass out, thank god. he'd need an oxygen tank or a inhaler in a moment, but for now he would be okay until he could get help.

Clint smiled a little and nodded. "she is." he agreed. "i don't beleive that Tony." Clint admitted before he nodded. "yeah. my dad was a bit of a drunk. he pulled me out of school just before i was about to go into middle school, because he was pissed that i was smarter than him. he couldn't read you know?" he admitted. "he was arrested when i was around nine or ten, and Shield picked me up when they stumbled across me." he admitted before he paused. "...your dad let you handle Blow torches and high powered mechanics when you where five..." it wasn't a question, it was a statement that said that Clint understood how painful that had to have been. "Jarvis! you cheat!" he complained before he snorted. "Tony, the only one who things Steve doesn't want you, is you." he stated before pausing. "Tony? what is it?" he asked as he followed the other, confused.

Steve was pale and shaken when they finally got home, his breath coming in short, harsh wheezes. "a..Asm.. at...ck." Steve manages to grit out, struggling to breath still, his entire chest aching in a way that told him it was about to get worse again. Clint didn't even pause, he just went over to the emergency kit and pulled out the oxygen tank with connected mask and handed it to Tony. it was there in case of fumes or smoke in the lab, he hoped it would help with Steve's attack. "he shouldn't be having Asthma attacks, right?" Clint asked softly, worried about the good Captain.
 
"Hey look at that.we have something in common.our dads hated us for being smarter."tony snorted a little before nodding."uh,yea. Its why I don't like things being handed to me."tony wrinkled his nose explaining even if he knew it hadn't been a question,snickering as jarvis won."which just proves I'm smarter then the rest of you."tony pointed out glancing at him as he walked."something's wrong with steve."

"No he shouldn't.where did you two go?"tony said as he knelt in front of steve,looking up at the man as he fitted the mask on, anxiety showing in dark eyes. "Back to the orphanage where we grew up.." "oh.I think hes having a memory induced attack since his body shouldn't do this...but last time he was there he was a kid.."tony explained even as he focused on the man in front of him,"hey steve.breath with me okay?slow.one,two...hey do you want to hear about what I made for bucky?"tony asked starting to ramble,his anxiety making him talkitive as he looked at the other man, trying to get zteve better.needing him to be okay,moments away from yelling for loki and bruce.
 
Clint smiled a little and nodded. "makes sense." he agreed. "it's kind of strange how everyone sort of just, doesn't hand you anything. it's almost instinctive now that i think about it." he admitted. "i guess we where all more aware of you than i thought we where." he admitted as he shook his head. "why? because you built a super computer that got smarter than you?" he asked, smirking a little before frowning, terrified. had Steve slipped away and gotten high again? he hoped not.

Steve caught Tony's hand, clinging to it as he sucked in as deep of a breath as he could manage. "...uh. weren't orphanages back then... horrible?" Clint asked softly, trying to keep Steve from hearing. "why would you willingly go back to a place like that?" he demanded of Bucky, looking concerned about his and Steve's mental well being as Steve nodded at Tony, eyes wide and frightened, scared of the sudden asthma attack but the more Tony talked, the more relaxed Steve became and the easier he could breathe until he'd slipped into a doze, breath coming easier now. "Tony. Loki said i needed to get down here." Bruce stated suddenly as he blinked at the others. "oh..." he muttered, pulling out his stethoscope and carefully listened to Steve's chest and pulled a few blood samples. ten minutes later the results where in. "The Serum is... sick. for lack of a better explanation. it's not protecting Steve as well as it needs to be. the dust coupled with the anxiety attack threw him straight into a point blank Asthma attack." he admitted, shaking his head. "he's going to have to be very careful with overtaxing himself until the Serum recovers."
 
"My psychosis about being handed things is well documented and I have a history of yelling about it.most people just don't hand me things."tony shrugged a little looking worried.

Tony winced a little as the super soldier caught his hand in a tight grip, looking pleased the other was calming as he started telling steve about clint's arrows and bow."because it was home...it was horrible,but it was home."bucky muttered looking pained that something he'd done to help steve,was what caused this.this was horrible."see?that's not so hard is it?"tony smiled as steve drifted off looking up at bruce."yea.hes having a asthma attack...."tony muttered shifting away long enough tovlet bruce look him over before wincing."fucking hell...damn...well..at least we'll convince him to not use again if this is the resulr.."tony muttered his features tight and pained as he considered the dozing super soldier.huffing out a sigh."lets get him upstairs."bucky said as he helped tony manhandle the sleepy soldier out of the car,billionaire and soldier for once being quiet as they got steve to bed. And while he hadn't willingly subjected himself to watching steve and bucky, tony stayed in the room,needing to see that steve was okay for the moment before he retreated to the lab again.which was how steve found them when he woke,discussing things and also the thought of bucky's sister, though it'd be a quick search,tony was enjoying slightly instructing bucky on the current century, and as long as he didn't overthink the faxt that bucky here meant he had no more use to the good captain,he was okay...of course as soon as steve woke,the spell would be broken,but for now they were getting along.
 
Steve shook his head. "was gonna ditch. go anyway.' Steve admitted. "stupid idea." he admitted. "chest hurts." he admitted as he let Tony's voice sooth him down, Clint blinking. "Tony. i don't think he's going to go out and get high. he just admitted that he was gonna ditch Bucky. not to go get high, but to go to that crappy orphanage. i don't think he's gonna go back to his dealer." he admitted as he handed Tony a cup of Coffee. Steve made familiar whines that he'd used to make as a child and being forced to wake up when he didn't want to. it was rather cute. he was awake a few hours later, still feeling weak and sore but terrified at finding himself alone. unaware that Clint was watching to see if he would leave after all. he didn't, Steve, aching for the drug, went down to the lab to find Bucky and Steve. he peeked in on them and then left without saying anything because they where talking about Bucky's arm and about Bucky's sister and Steve didn't want to interrupt so instead he went to Nat and curled up against her. she had been his closest freind ever since he woke up, and he was desperate to know she didn't hate him. "are you mad?" he asked softly. wondering why he hadn't seen her, unaware that he had mistaken her for Peggy a few times and tried to... well. fondue.
 
Natasha smiled pleased and tired as he curled up against her, gently rolling her eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair as she laid back on the couch."no.I was worried,so worried. I thought you'd sneak out without your guards....who weirdly are actually getting along.its sorta creepy watching barnes and stark talk tech."natasha smiled a little gently pressing a kiss to his forehead."besides,you mistook me for peggy a few times...ivwas worried about confusijg you even more."she said sounding pained,hating she'd bedn worse at helping him then tony fucking stark,who sucked at almost all social things."..you know they're testing you right?to see if you'd leave if they left for while...though bucky really is having problems with his arm.."natasha muttered looking worried for him.

"Okay.I got it. Go.I'll come find you when I have something for you."tony said snapping as his concentration snapped and he remembered just who he was helping to be better,needing time to find his equalibibrium again. Smiling slightly as he watched bucky simply leave instead of taking offense at the tense tone,knowing the other man was grateful for the nrw arm he was working on,and excited about going to tell steve.having no doubt that was where barnes was going.
 
he sighed, relaxing against her. she was one of the only people who touched him without reservation. who touched him in all the ways he wanted without making it sexual or making him feel guilty about wanting it. "it is a bit creepy. i went down to make sure they hadn't killed each other." he admitted before he frowned, looking up at her. "i'm sorry... did i do anything... untoward?" he asked, asking if he'd tried to 'molest' her as he had often imagined doing to Peggy. holding her down, taking her whether she wanted it or not, even though in the end of his fantasies she always wanted it. "...testing me?" he asked, looking confused before he blinked as he suddenly understood. "oh... no i hadn't... i don't... i want them, so bad. and that scares me een more than the asthma attack did... how can i want something so badly that i'd do anything for it!? i offered Tony my Body!" he whispered, sounding so horrified. "he must think me a horrid slut..." there was a pause and he frowned. "what's wrong with Bucky's arm?" he asked, looking worried because he had noticed the Metal Arm. of course he had. he knew it was Hydra technology, was it going to blow up? or maybe it was eating his flesh or something for his 'desertion'?

Clint walked down as Bucky was walking up. "Steve's in the living room with Natasha." he explained to the Super soldier. "he's talking things out.... don't sneak up on her, she'll lay you flat before she realizes your a non-threat." he warned with a grin before he headed down to Tony. "Steve's going to be okay." he promised the Genius. "he didn't even think about leaving. he is, and i'm quoting here. "i want them, so bad. and that scares me even more than the asthma attack did.' so i don't think we'll have to worry about him using again." he admitted. "you okay?"
 
"It is fairly creepy.I'm hoping eventually they'll remember they're to muchbalike tobget along for long."she smiled stroking his hair,knowing he enjoyed it."hm.got groped a few times. Nothing I couldn't handle.I've had clint grope me worse drunk then you did.don't worry."she muttered pressing a kiss to his hair,"good.maybe those two will stop freaking out then...also the drugs damaged the serum.it'll recover but you'll have to take it easy until it does."she said gently not wanting to freak him up but wanting to make sure he knew he had to take it easy these days."you wanted it because you thought you needed them...you don't.and now you have other people to help,and take care of you."she stroked his hair before smiling slightly."if tony thinks your a horrible slut,call him a hypocrite and tobmove on.he might tease you about it, but he won't think any worse of you steve."she smiled before laughing."nothing beyond tony stark being a total nutcase over tech,and caring that his team has the best toys.which means replacing hydra tech with stark tech." "And such a good tech it is."bucky said stopping in the door until natasha relaxed moving to sit in the armchair near them.

"Good. He scared me with that shit."tony muttered as he focused on the hologram in front of him, glad they didn't have to worry as much after steve. Slanting a glance towards clint before refocusing on the hologram."fine. Why wouldn't I be? Steve's better,doesn't need me to babysit anymore, so he doesn't have to suffer the man whore's company longer then he has to despite him being a hypocrite about it,so we're good.I'm good."tony said what he'd been thinking bubbling to the surface as he realized that steve really wouldnt need him around, the bitterness darkening his voice.
 
he smiled a little. "i'm glad they're getting along." he admitted with a whisper and a shake of her head. "i'm sorry. Peggy was the only woman i ever... you know. was attracted to." he admitted. "i have no idea why really. every other attraction i've ever had was to men." he admitted sheepishly. "....i didn't know the Serum could get damaged." he admitted, sounding stunned. "is that why i had an asthma attack? the Serum couldn't protect me properly?... i think i was having a panic attack too but i couldn't tell through the terror of being unable to breathe again." he admitted. "...i don't think Tony's a slut." he admitted simply. "i just think he's a hedonist." he smiled. "i looked that word up. it really suits him you know?" he asked before looking up at Bucky, smiling. "so you're not in any danger then? good, i'm glad." he admitted as he closed his eyes. "i'm sorry i scared you like that Buck... you okay?"

Clint nodded. "yeah. me too... sucks about the serum though. but it makes sense sort of. i'd always wondered how a chemical could affect someone like that, but i guess it's not just a chemical. it's biological, like DNA, or like mitochondria or something. it 'lives' somehow like all the parts of our body do." he admitted, smiling a little. "it's impressive even when i don't understand any part of it." he admitted. "...Tony, Steve needs you more than you would think." he admitted, shaking his head a little. "i don't understand why you're being so purposefully blind to the way Steve feels." he scoffed. "you're being obtuse Tony, that's not like you." he stated, shaking his head a little. "you're not good. not at all. i wish you'd talk to someone Tony." he admitted, looking worried about the other.
 
“Me to. Even if it’s going to be horrible. You do realize if they get along, from everything you’ve ever told me about him, Barnes is just as mouthy as Stark is.”natasha muttered looking amused. “I know. And it’s okay. Really. I was never in danger, really I was more worried about you.And I dunno, she must have had a real impact.”she smiled before nodding. “Yes. Because it wasn’t protecting you, because it was to damaged. You will heal, but it’ll be awhile.”Natasha ran her fingers through his hair before smiling slightly. “You know, it really does. He enjoys what he does, and doesn’t care what anyone thinks.”She muttered knowing it wasn’t strictly true, because tony did care, he just put up the mask of not doing so. “I’m in a danger of becoming Tony’s lab rat until he’s satisfied that I have the world’s best arm, but I’m good.”Bucky said before sighing quietly, “I’m fine. You’re lucky this isn’t the first time you scared the shit out of me, punk. Though you might need to talk to Tony. He keep scaring him like this, he’s going to go insane.”Bucky snickered a little.

“It does, but it also makes sense that his body is also going to recover to. Makes sense that his body got fucked up along with the drugs, so did the serum.”He shrugged a little already going through the science of it, though he was aware clint wouldn’t appreciate the geek out that was waiting on his lips, knowing he’d go hide in the lab with bruce for awhile to go over the medicine soon enough. Tensing at the other’s words he hunched his shoulders as he settled in to work. “No, I’m not good. Never been good enough to be Cap’s friend. Always known it, but it was something different to have Cap himself tell me. Yea, okay, so my dad always told me I wasn’t good enough, that Cap would be ashamed to know me if I pulled him out of the sea. Do you have any idea how sick it left me to realize that he agreed?! To know that it was okay for James Barnes to be a slut, that not even that could stop him from being Cap’s slut,and Cap being perfectly okay with that”-oh yea, clint had forced him to talk, and the bitterness in those words wasn’t just the last few years worth of having steve hate him, but a lifetime worth of daddy issues, the two biggest issues he had were currently livign with him. “So then I realized that Howard had to be right, there was something wrong with me something so wrong that not even captain fucking america would give me a chance!”By the end he was done with the rant he was panting so hard that he was feeling a little light headed as his forced his lungs to work harder, slamming up against the arc reactor, making his whole chest ache as he swayed a little, light headed enough to feel close to passing out as dark spots danced in front of his eyes.
 
he grinned a little as he nodded. "yeah, but if Tony likes Bucky, then maybe ?Tony will like me by association." he muttered before he smiled at her. "that's right. i forget sometimes that you can kick my ass." he admitted with a smile. "...Tony kicked my ass you know. i don't really remember it, but Jarvis showed me the footage. it was pretty awesome." he admitted before he sighed a little as he relaxed even more into her fingers. "i wish i could do that. not care what people think." he admitted. "it would be so nice to just do what i want for once instead of worrying incessantly over every little thing." he admitted as he smiled at Bucky. "you'd love the idea of Tony bending you over, slut." he teased with a giggle. "besides. he give ME heart attacks." Steve grumbled. "i thought he was dead you know... after the alien attack. he was dead..." he muttered shaking his head. "and then he just goes right back to hating me..." he closed his eyes and sighed again. "i hurt all over." he groaned, shaking his head. "i wish aspirin worked on me."

Clint nodded. "you and Bruce are gonna geek out huh?" he asked with a grin. "i wish i was smart like you." he admitted. "i think just being around you and Bruce and Loki made me a little smarter though." he admitted before he paused and blinked at Tony, a little surprised that Tony had chosen him of all people to talk to. "Oh Tony you poor idiot." he muttered as he carefully wrapped his arms around Tony, holding him, hugging him from behind. "Cap doesn't give a damn that you sleep with other people. He doesn't give a shit because i'm more of a man whore than you are Tony and he still likes me." he admitted with a smirk. "i actually have orgies." he admitted with a snicker. "and come back from them drunk and batter Steve with recounting, repeatedly." he admitted with a snicker. "he punched me int he face the first few times... though, that might be because i offered him an orgy of his own." he admitted with a chuckle. "Howard was an asshole and every word out of his mouth was a filthy lie and both Steve and Bucky would agree with me and they knew him personally to know it." he stated sternly. "Steve didn't give you a chance because he thought you where going to be like Howard. now that he knows your not, he's struggling to feel at home in a place that makes him inferior every-time he steps out of his room. he wants you Tony. he wants you to like him and the only person who doesn't know that is you."
 
“probably. Maybe. Though considering how upset he’s been for the last week, everyone but you seems to know he already does.”She teased a little pointing out what everyone else had already noticed. “Hm, I heard. It was kinda hot to. You two should spar sometime, for real.”Natasha smiled looking down at him.”Hm, and if you could, what would you do?” “Uhhh, I think you have me confused with you, Rogers.”Bucky teased rolling his eyes a little before tilting his head looking curious about that, but seeing how relaxed his friend was, he wasn’t about to make him think about tony dead, before sighing. “Come on Steve. You’re going to go lay down in bed, and I’m going to rub your back, then we’re going to get some sleep okay?Then you’re going to go reassure tony you’re not dying on him anytime soon.”Bucky said even as he started bullying the other into getting up.

“Oh yea. Totally. And you probably are. My awesomeness is so awesome, it’s catching.”Tony snickered a little even as he slipped into his rant. Going tense as soon as clint touched him, hunching over a little, hands coming up, covering the arc reactor, to emotional and raw to not try to protect the thing that kept him alive, otherwise leaning limply in the man’s arms. “...then why am I not good enough if he likes you and Barnes?And how can I help him when my house is just my house?I-I can’t give him back 1940.”The whisper was quiet and broken, and made it obvious exactly what tony’s problem was. He heard what people told him, but what he heard was twisted and shaped to fit his own issues, the self hate that defined everything he was, it would take steve himself, and even then probably months of work, for tony to really believe. “I can’t help him. I don’t know how to. And all of you just accept that I don’t care. I do, I totally do. I so want to protect you all...I let you in the tower, because I needed to know you guys were safe, but how can I help you with that when my house is making Cap go for drugs?I-I don’t know what to do!”Tony growled, sucking his breath in from between clenched teeth, it was amazing really that no one had ever noticed just how much he hated himself. Before, it’d only been Pepper, Loki, and Johnny who’d ever realized that the mask was simply that, a mask showing a self hate born so long in the past, to a five year old who’d never understood why his father hated him, that he couldn’t see past it, even when Clint was slapping him in the face with the truth. Slumping into clint’s arms, he rested his head on the other’s shoulder, trembling ever so slightly.”...I just want him to want to be here...”he muttered, starting to pass out. Not just from the emotional outpouring, but because he hadn’t slept in nearly as long as he’d been avoiding steve.
 
Steve looked at her, a little confused. "Tony's been upset? why? is he okay?" he asked, a little worried. "....i wouldn't mind Sparring with Tony." he admitted, startled to feel the slight curl of lust in his stomach. oh. well. how about that. "....i'd do something really stupid." Steve admitted before smirking at Bucky. "oh. i'm sorry. it's a certain Norse God who you want to bend over for." he paused and then scowled. "i don't like Loki... he's a psychopath... he can't be trusted. you really should be careful about him okay?" he asked, worried very much for Bucky, because he really didn't trust Loki. he had never seen all the things Loki had gone through, didn't know just how much Loki did for Tony. how much Pepper had adored Loki. to him, Loki was still the bastard who had tried to take over the earth, "....i like back-rubs." he agreed as he stood up on shaky legs and let Bucky help him to the bedroom.

Clint chuckled a little and nodded, feeling the other go tense. he'd expected that. he kept his hands lower, along Tony's ribs and belly, going no lower and going no higher. "of course you're good enough. God Tony you think he didn't notice when you stayed up with him for three entire days? of course he did. he wants you." he admitted with a smile. "but how can he show you that if you keep hiding?" he asked as he smiled. "Tony. you gave him the closest thing to 1940 as you could. did you not see the look on his face when he saw that room? it was like he'd gone to heaven." he admitted with a smile. "he loves that room. you gave him that. and we all love living here. even Bruce." he admitted. "hell, even Me, and Home has never been anywhere before. it was just safe houses and headquarters. you gave me a Home Tony. you gave me, and Loki, Nat and Bruce, and yes, Steve and Bucky, you gave us all homes. "besides.... i think Cap's been shooting up long before he ever came here. it takes a long time to build up that kind of tolerance Tony, even for someone on the Serum. he's been doing drugs since before the Chitauri Attack i think." Clint admitted. "that's what Bruce thinks anyway. ad i think he wants to be wanted here too. he's just scared Tony. we have to help him."
 
Natasha stared at him for a long moment before huffing.”He’s been upset because you’ve been crashing. And no, I really don’t think he’s okay.”She said pretty sure it was more then Tony just worrying about Steve, but Steve could go find out himself what was upsetting the billionaire. “I’m sure you wouldn’t. He’s been sparring with a god, a super soldier would probably be a nice challenge.”She said smiling a little looking him over. “Oh no, it’s more I want to bend the norse god over. He said I could.”Bucky admitted smirking a little, before nodding.”I know. I’ll be careful, Stevie.”He promised as he helped steve towards their bedroom, helping him strip down to just his boxers, laying him down as he settled on his back, sitting on his ass as he gently worked his fingers over taunt and knotted muscles.”Sleep, Steve.”he muttered as he worked, more worried about his friend then he was anything else.

Tony swallowed hard even as he kept his hands over his arc reactor, but relaxed some as he realized the other wasn’t trying to get to it, simply holding onto him. “I-I don’t know...he didn’t know me half the time...and he has Barnes. Barnes is better for him then me, it’s easier to hide then to have him tell me that.”He muttered shuddering a little before frowning a little, thinking about it. “I did....I...you’re right...he did like it...”He muttered resting his head on the other’s shoulder,”It wasn’t home for me anymore without Pepper....I had to get you all here, safe and sound,for the tower to be home for me...”He muttered wanting him to know that as much as Tony gave them homes, they gave him one. Frowning slightly as he considered what he was hearing before nodding. “well, I’ll help him since I’m sure having me around just scares him...I mean, I scare people who grew up in this time.”He muttered starting to fall asleep now that the emotional torture he’d been putting himself through for the last few days was out in the open.”...don’t tell loki...he’ll kill me if he knows I’ve been down here freaking out...”He muttered knowing it was probably impossible, but he was hoping loki was so busy mother henning Bucky, that he didn’t notice tony freaking out.
 
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