Things you SHOULD'NT say...

[Camille]

"Do you have any fungal cream?"

 

[XXtraPrince]

"Can I take a scraping? I LOVE home-grown mushrooms!"

 

[Kiandra_Black]

Oh my God... Just puked in my mouth.
This one is for in the middle...
I got to go the bathroom...

 

[Camille]

"Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?"

 

[The Intrepid Wanderer]

"I swear, it was like that when I found it!"

 

[Kiandra_Black]

Is that your wife? Oh crap... she looks pissed! Wanna see if she wants to join?

 

[XXtraPrince]

"Don't worry - I've got this under control!" (Right)

 

[Kiandra_Black]

"I've got YOU under control..."

 

[XXtraPrince]

"OK, you've got your hand around my cock and you're in control. THAT kind of control I will always let you have!"

 

[Kiandra_Black]

Why is it so droopy? I thought guys were supposed to be hard... >…>

 

[XXtraPrince]

"All things in their time!"

 

[Kiandra_Black]

"Crap, I got to get to work... Can we make this a quickie?"
Says man to wife on their Anniversary.

 

[XXtraPrince]

^ Been there. Done that. Lived through it. So did she. ^

"Oh, let me take this call - I'll only be a minute!"

 

[Kiandra_Black]

Lol

Quick! Hide in the closet! My wife is home!

Says woman to guy lover

 

[XXtraPrince]

(Whispered) "Hey! There's no knob on the inside!"

Of course, there WAS a knob in HER insides, and that is the problem.

 

[KimiDoll]

Is it meant to smell like this?

 

[XXtraPrince]

^ Nice new avatar. Elves are cool. ^

"I'd been carrying that rubber around in my wallet, must be two, three years now!"

 

[oceancrumbles]

"Yep"

 

[Kiandra_Black]

I think the condom just broke...

On another note, when I wrote condom, it immediately turned into condominium .... lol

 

[XXtraPrince]

^ You CAN go broke in a condominium. Trust me: this is the voice of experience! ^

"Those are the breaks! Can I interest you in a 'morning after' pill?"

 

[Bronwyn]

"I knew my first time would be special!"

 

[Kiandra_Black]

Tomorrow you can meet my parents! They are just going to love you!

Says girl to One night stand...

 

[XXtraPrince]

"I'll do it or go to Hell!"

 

[Kiandra_Black]

So, you clean?

 

[Solidsnake61988]

"No really, haven't had a bath in a week, here smell"