Viper

she nodded a little, stroking Shay's hair gently as the woman sobbed. “no one will tell Draco unless you want us to.” she promised softly. “and Draco will be angry, but not at you, never at you.” she promised softly, kissing Shay's forehead. “he'll be mad at Dumbledore, at the world, but he will never be mad at you.”
 
Shay sighed softly nodding as she rubbed her eyes.she didn't believe it but she would let Giny think she was."I'll go talk to him now."She muttered rubbing her arms as she pulled away.She needed draco even if she thought he was going to be angry, she needed to be with him. Getting up she rubbed her arms as she slowly,careful to not over do it, making her way down to their bedroom. walking inside with a smile, small smile curling her lips as she walked to the edge of the bed, for once, waiting for permission to climb in bed.
 
Draco's consciousness slid over her's, sleepy and slow as he started to wake up as she neered the room, groaning unhappily as he realized this was another of his bad days. Everything hurt, pain washed over her, a dull wash as he tried to block most of it from her, not wanting her to feel too much of it, smiling as he saw her, holding his arms out to her. “cuddle with me?” he asked hopefully. Despite the pain, he wanted to be close to her, needed to be close to her. He kissed her once she was in his arms and closed his eyes, hesitating. “what's wrong?” he could feel her inner pain, grief, and shame, he didn't like it, it meant something very bad had happened.
 
Shay winced a little as his own pain added to hers before slamming the door shut between them, refusing to let him feel just how bad she was feeling.Nodding as she crawled into bed with him,gently cuddling into him, resting her head on his chest."Nothing Draco.Don't worry about it."She muttered closing her eyes, hoping he'd leave it alone. He was already hurting so much, she didn't want to add to it.
 
he winced when the door slammed shut between them and he looked startled as he examined her. “sorry Love.” he muttered smiling, figuring he wasn't shielding his pain well. “it's hard to shield when I'm in pain.” he admitted calmly snuggling into her. “are you sure? You look upset...” he admitted biting his lip. “... did Marvos say something?” he asked, stroking her hair. “you know you can tell me anything right?” he asked, gently kissing her forehead. “i love you Shay...”
 
Shay sniffled a little pressing her face harder against his chest, sighing quietly. Biting her lip because she hated hiding things from him, and it hurt to not tell him."I..I love you to."She muttered swallowing hard carefully wrapping her arms around her, careful not to hurt him as she pressed as close as she could. "I..I miscarried Dray."She muttered bracing herself for anger, for pain, and keeping the door between them shut, not about to let him feel just how she was feeling. Not wanting to worry him even more then he already was going to be.
 
he froze, tense against her, wincing as he caused himself pain, and ignoring it as he pulled her into a tight hug, ignoring that he was giving himself bruises. “oh god Shay I'm SO sorry.” he whispered his voice thick with emotion, none of it anger, not yet. “oh Shay you must feel so terrible.” he whispered. “i.. I don't know what to say... I don't know how to help...” he whispered, wishing he could help his lover, wishing he could make the pain better, wishing he could save her from the pain, wishing he could kill Dumbledore all over again for what he had done, slowly and painfully. “i'm so sorry Love.” he whispered, holding her close. “i wish I could make it all better...”
 
At his words Shay broke apart, her shield falling apart as she felt relief at realizing that he wasn't angry with her. That he still loved her. crying as she clung to the boy she sniffled after a few minutes before pulling away, sitting up, gently stroking his hair."Rest Draco.I'll lay here with you, but you're going to hurt yourself if you hold on to tight."She muttered looking at him worriedly running a hand over his chest healing the bruises she knew had to be there, ignoring how she felt in favor of fussing over him.
 
he sighed softly as he closed his eyes. “i'm so sorry shay.” he whispered, too exhausted to ignore her orders to rest, glad she healed the painful bruises that he had given himself, breathing softly, but clinging to her anytime she tried to get up, only giving himself more bruises as he did so. Thankfully Ginny seamed to realize this was going to happen because she came in and helped Shay to sit up so she could eat breakfast while still being in Draco's loving grip. “you going to be alright?” Ginny asked her softly. “do you need a calming potion?”
 
"I'm fine."She said rubbing her arms smiling a little as she settled easily into Draco's grip, content to just be with him."I'll be fine."She muttered hoping that ti was true.

A few days later Shay scowled a little as she looked at draco as he studied her, flinching a litle."I-I'm sorry Dray. I was just helping Marvos fr a moment..."She said stuttering a little as she realized that the moment pause in bringing his lunch up had put her well over a hour after he'd askd for lunch.Flinching a little as she realized that he really did have the right to yell at her for being careless. Like she'd predicted he was angry, so angry everything for the miscarry,but shay was so hurting and sick from having it happen that she couldn't even sort out that he wasn't mad at her really, just the rest of the world.
 
Draco blinked at her, having not realized she'd come back in and offered her a small smile, struggling not to be annoyed with her as his stomach growled and his lungs ached. “it's fine.” he stated softly, that shining rage shining just under the surface of his words as always it was these days, turning to look back out the window. “would you go and get Sev for me?” he asked, blinking as birds fluttered across the view. He was determined not to let shay see the blood staining the sheets, too embarrassed to admit he'd wet himself, and too horrified to let her know he was pissing blood again. the blood was well hidden by the heavy blankets, but he was afraid she might try to crawl in bed with him. “Viper was looking for you.” he stated tightly. “something about homework and training.” a lie, but Viper was gettign good at covering for Draco, so the blond wasn't too worried as Draco closed his eyes. “i'll have Sev help me with lunch.” he promised, his hands trembling too hard for him to feed himself.
 
Shay's shoulders slouched as he stared out the window, looking small and defeated as she watched her husband before nodding, not that he could see it, but she set the tray of food on the night stand,leaning over to press a kiss to his forehead."I'll send Sev and Marvos up. He wanted to talk to you anyways."She said struggling not to sound as hurt as she was at him keeping her at arm's length, guilt eating her alive at for what she thought he was blaming her for. Assuming, wrongly, he didn't want her anymore since she hadn't been able to save their child."I'll see you later."She muttered pausing at th doorway, as if waiting for him to ask her to stay before goingin search of Sev and Marvos before going to find Viper. Running a hand through her hair, she had a wicked headache after learning enough to mute her and Draco's bond to the point that he couldn't feel what she was beyond that she was okay. It was....destroying her to think her husband didnt want her. Leaning in the kitchen door she smiled at Viper."Draco said you were looking for me?"

Marvos sighed as Sev and him helped Draco clean up and get his potions efore shooing the elder man out before Marvos sat on the edge of the bed, holding up the fork intending on helping Draco eat before they had the discussion he wanted to have.
 
Draco nodded to Shay and watched her leave, desperately wanting her to comfort him, but too ashamed of what his body was going through, of what she might think of him for being too week and helpless. As far as he was concerned it was his fault the baby had died, his fault that shay had been hurt, all his fault. He was silent, and burning with embarrassment as Marvos and Snape cleaned him up, changed him into clean clothes changed the bedding and he only opened his eyes when Marvos was the only in the room, turning away from the food. “i'm not hungry...” that was a lie and the both knew it.

Viper smiled at Shay when she walked in and nodded. “yeah, I kinda did.” he admitted holding his arms out to her. “your bottling everything up again, If Ginny was here she'd be bitching at you.” Ginny had gone to another house to help with some cleaning issues, and wasn't there to monitor Shay. “what's wrong Shay?” he asked softly, stroking her cheek, rubbing away an invisible tear. “talk to me...”
 
Marvos growled absently at him, holding the fork still."You're going to eat, and listen to what I'm going to say, even if I have to beat you outside the head to make you see what you're doing to your wife."he scowled a little, tilting his head looking like he was quite willing to hold the fork there all day."Your wife's killing herself thinking you don't want her."He stated, knowing he was going to have to be blunt if he was going to get Draco to see just how desperately alone Shay was feeling.

Shay leaned into his hand for a moment before tossing herself into his arms, hugging him tightly as she trembled. Head resting on his chest, "Draco wont talk to me....he doesn't want me anymore...He thinks the miscarriage was my fault, which it was.I should have been more careful...I should...I don't know!I want my husband back."She swallowed hard sniffling as she started crying quietly.
 
Draco grimaced at Marvos's tone, well aware the man would force feed him if he refused again he accepted the food, sighing a little as he frowned. “i'm not...” he fell silent when Marvos glared at him and sighed a little as he closed his eyes. “i didn't realize...” he whispered softly. “oh god... I just... I've been getting worse and worse and it's all my fault that Shay got hurt... I'm pissing blood Marvos how... how can I tell her that!?” he asked, finally breaking down and spilling it out. “i puked blood last night too, I'm getting weaker and weaker and even sex won't make me feel good anymore... I'm slowly dying Shay won't let me into her mind anymore and I'm terrified she's going to leave because she doesn't want to take care of me like this...”

Viper held her tightly, stroking her hair. “that's not true and you know it.” he stated calmly stroking her hair. “no one thinks that but you.” he explained kissing her forehead and gently rocking her. “Draco's sick love, probably sicker than of us could know and he's struggling to keep it hidden from you. He's sick, he's heart sore, and your both pulling away from each other because you both blame yourselves for the same thing.” he smiled at her and kissed her forehead. “open your link, I know your blocking him... see for yourself.” when she did, because they all knew she would, Draco's terror, and his guilt slammed into her, Draco not thinking to shield since she was doing it for the most part.
 
"You're a moron."Marvos stated rolling his eyes a little."Shay's pulling away because she thinks YOU don't want HER. You're getting weaker because you're both hiding instead of talking. Morons. Both of you."Marvos scowled annoyed because he hadn't realized till that morning when he hugged her not only was Draco getting sick but she was to. She was light enough he could probably pick shay up with one hand, and he'd felt to many bones through her shirt."She wants you and she's feeling so alone."

Shay gasped a little as Draco's feeling hit her like a sucker punch, her own feelings flooding him, more then anything, beyond guilt and shame, Marvos was right. She felt so very alone and cut off from her love. Which was her own fault but his anger she'd seen as him pushing her away instead of being what she needed. Whimpering a little as she snuggled tighter into Viper she started crying harder, she so just wanted her husband back.
 
Draco winced at Marvos's words and looked away, gripping his blankets tightly. “i...i didn't mean to hurt her... I was only trying to save her, keep her away from my pain.” he whispered softly, feeling terrible about what he was doing to her before he suddenly felt her open up to him again, feeling her pain and loneliness guilt crashed through him again, and he reached out to her with his soul, wrapping her in a loving warm embrace that promised her that he still loved her, still wanted her, NEEDED her. Baby or not. Promising her that he wasn't angry with her, didn't blame her, would never blame her as tears coursed down his cheeks. “shay... baby....” he whispered, the words traveling through the bond so she could hear them. “i'm so sorry... I didn't know. I didn't mean to push you away... please... come cuddle with me? I'll make everything right, I promise...” ignoring Marvos now.
 
Marvos smiled as Shay came in at a run nearly falling as she skidded to a stop next to the bed, smirking a little as he got up. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, which she ignored as she dove into bed with her husband crawling under the covers and holding him gently but pressing as close as she could as she cried, to happy and reassured to get the words out for a few minutes."I-I'm sorry."She sniffled rubbing her cheek against his chest in a effort to dry off her face, not realizing that she was getting his newly changed clothes all wet.
 
he smiled as he watched Shay come in, wrapping his arms around her. “i'm so sorry shay, I didn't mean to hurt you.” he muttered softly. “i just... I thought I was protecting you.” he admitted softly. “i... I didn't realize I was hurting you.” he explained, holding her close, his tears gently splashing on her forehead. “i'm getting sicker.” he explained softly. “and you where so upset, I didn't want to worry you anymore than you already where.” he admitted stroking her hair, laying down with her. “i love you shay, always and forever, through good things and bad.” he promised smiling at her. “as soon as I'm a little better... we'll try having a wedding again...ok?” technically they where married, they had signed all the paperwork required. But he wanted her to have the wedding she deserved.
 
She sniffled smiling a little as she closed his eyes, cuddling closer to him."No. We don't have to."She said blushing a little, smiling a little as she wrapped a arm around his waist, smiling tiredly and amused."Don't try to protect me Draco.I just want you."she said smiling softly,"It hurt more to not know."She swallowed raising her head, gently kissing him."I thnk you're getting sicker because I'm sick...hopefully you'll feel better soon."She said needing to believe that.
 
he smiled as he held her. “i want to.” he admitted with a small smile as he stroked her hair. “i'm sorry shay, I can't help it... every pore of my body makes me want to protect you.” he admitted smiling a little. “but I'll stop keeping things from you.” he promised snuggling down. “sleep with me tonight?” they hadn't been recently, because Draco bruised so easily that when she snuggled into him in her sleep, she bruised him head to toe. But he didn't care, he just wanted to be with her, so he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, and groaned in the morning, realizing why he felt sticky. “Shay?... wake up?” he asked, shaking her shoulder. “... will you go and get Marvos and Snape for me again?” he asked, shame heavy in his voice as he realized that he had lost control of his bladder all over again. It was so humiliating, his bladder and kidneys failing at the same time, soon his lungs and heart, he was deteriorating, slower than originally anticipated, but deteriorating all the same. he hated to admit it... but he was afraid.
 
Shay shook her head a little as she got to her feet sleepily, getting new clothes and helping him change into new clothes before looking down at him, tears filling her eyes.Because she had thought that they'd found what they needed, Ginny had promised!Ginny had promised draco's have time...Crying softy as she cleaned him up she turned her face away rubbing the tears away before she leaned down to kiss him, running her fingers in his hair."Do you want a real bath?"She muttered looking at him anxiously, fear and worry high in her mental bond, no shame or embarassment at all at his condition, only the need to help him. Because if she let herself think to long, she was going to feel guilt for being part of the situation that had broguht this around.
 
Draco felt horrified when she changed him instead, embarrassed but... relieved... part of him had been afraid she would pull away when she realized he was loosing control of his bladder. It was pretty nasty but she dove right into it like the loving wonderful wife she was. “i would love you forever for a real bath.” he admitted smiling as he kissed her. “and please, stop worrying, I still have many years... I'll just be wearing a diaper or a piss bag for most of them.” he admitted. “i should have lost my bladder in the first few days, it's been almost a month now and it doesn't hurt. Blood replenishing potions give me back anything I've lost.” he promised kissing her gently as he slowly got to his feet, resting against her. “i'm weak, and pissing blood, but I'm not dying yet. We still have six or seven years at minimum to find a cure, or a potion to help control the condition.” he promised smiling at her. “more if we start screwing again.” he teased chuckling a little. “it will get better now that we're open to each other again, and don't start blaming yourself either... I was pushing you away, it's only my fault.” he promised nuzzling her neck, sitting on the toilette as she got the bath ready. “do we have any of those scented bubbles left?” yes, Draco was that feminine to want a scented bubble bath, candles too but that was a little much for just getting clean. “hey shay?” he asked softly, his head tilted as he smiled at her. “i love you, forever... no matter the pain we go through, and the joys we share, that will always be true.”
 
Shay blushed at the mention of sex ducking her head as she blushed. Filling up the tub she grinned filling the tub with the bubbles he loved before moving over, crouching down in front of him as the tub filled. Resting her hands on his knees she smiled up at him, leaning in to kiss him again,"I love you to.Now. Lets get you clean, and then Marvos will stop growling at me like I've done something wrong."she whined before helping him into the tub, settling him back against her chest, cuddling aginst her as she closed her eyes, flickering her fingers to light the candles"We'll be fine."She uttere lowering her head pressing a kiss to his shoulder as she cuddled against his back.
 
He smiled as he gently stroked her hair, smiling lovingly at him. “oh? Has Marvos been growling at you too?” he asked looking amused as she helped him into the bathtub, groaning softly. “ooh that feels wonderful.” he moaned softly, smiling at the candles. “oh love, your just too wonderful for me.” he admitted smiling at her, kissing her gently as he used her as a chair so he wouldn't drown himself. “Shay?” he asked softly, setting a hand on his knee. “do.... do you want to try again?” he asked softly, looking up at her with worried eyes. “a baby I mean... whatever you want... I want you to have it.” he admitted softly. If she wanted a baby, he would do everything in his power to give her one before his seed was affected. This disease wasn't genetic, but if it got to his seed when he impregnated her, he could very easily pass it on to his children.
 
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