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Winter's kiss, moon/lady

Harry, I miss you. Its been a lonely month..voldermort keeps killing those loyal to dumbledore, and even the prince's demons. Though he's losing more death eaters to the cause then anything else. Lord frost himself is still missing, though Dumbledore is searching for him. I miss you-Ron

Harry, what are you're plans for voldermort?I can help, if you but ask. We have been searching for the demon prince, his own people have turned away from him, but I think if found he would be a good weapon to use against voldermort. Let us help you.-Albus dumbledore

And so the letters went on and on.

Frost looked over the edge of the bed at him,"What are you doing?"
 
harry snorted as he read the letters looking up at Frost with a small smile. "just reading the letters." he admitted shaking his head. "Dumbledore is claiming that Voldemort is attacking the demons, he also says that you would make a good weapon...what an idiot, as if he could control you. Ron claims to miss me but i'm pretty sure the only thing he misses is my dick up his ass." he admitted sighing as he crumpled up the paper in his hands and set it on fire, watching it burn on his floor, leaving scorch marks along the clean wood. "it's strange... i thought i would miss them, but i don't, not even a little...do you think that's because i'm more demon than i am wizard?...or maybe it's just that i never really liked them, and only fooled myself into thinking i did..." Harry was doubting himself again, a common practice for the Boy-Who-Lived when he felt things where getting too good to be true.
 
Frost, ever the realist, grinned as he rested his head on the mattress."Neither. I'm just so amazing at sex I drive all thought of others from your mind."He said arrogantly, as if the statement was perfectly normal and not a outragoeusly stated truth in the pregnant man's efforts to make him stop self doubting.
 
Harry blinked up at him looking startled before laughing and nodding. "i can agree with that." he admitted, ignoring his OCD obsessive compulsive nature and his urge to clean the scorch marks he had left on his floor and crawled back into the bed with Frost sighing softly resting his head against the others chest, feeling suddenly very cuddly, wanting to hear frost's heartbeat as they relaxed soothed some inner part of him that was half afraid Frost was only a dream.
 
Frost smiled as he wrapped the man in his arms closing his eyes as he stroked the man's hair. His heart thudding under harry's ear as he relaxed."Just think about the baby, we'll deal with my whiny ass, then we'll concern ourselves with what else is going on."He said kissing the man's head.
 
Harry smiled a little and nodded, wrapping his arms around Frost, but still his inner doubts remained. why did harry love Frost so much? was it just Harry's demonic blood reaching out to another Demon, or was it something more than that...would harry ever even know!? he shivered a little and feigned cold as he reached down and yanked the blankets up to his shoulders half covering Frost as well as he sighed softly, trying to relax before he smiled a little. "but i like your whiny ass. it's a very sexy ass."
 
"That it is."Frost smiled cuddlign into him, "Now. Relax and just enjoy being together."He said nuzzling the man. Content because he knew harry loved him, what could go wrong with that?

Four months later Frost staggered to his feet as he got out of the bed, stumbling at the changed center of balance. For a man who was graceful on a battlefield, he sucked now. Glancing at the man laying on the bed next to him, he frowned slightly. Worry in that look. Becasue he had to wnder, what would become of them?It hadn't shown at first, yet harry'd started drawing away from him after he'd read the letters. And kept reading them. Yet the ice cold demon prince was unable to reach across the gap that had suddenly come between them, and his heart hurt at the thought of losing him. Sighing sadly he headed downstairs to see what he could scrounge up to eat.
 
Harry didn't know what to do, part of him felt guilty about abandoning his freinds so suddenly. the perfect pawn he had been all his life told him that Frost had be-spelled him to drag him away from Dumbledore and Ron, but the Demon in him said that it was Dumbledore who had be-spelled harry, and frost who had set him free. the inner conflicting pieces of harry where constantly battling each other, and harry couldn't decide which one was true. even worse, he'd had almost six attacks since the first, all of them just as terrible as the last, not even Tom and Frost combined could put an early end to them. again it was just another thing for harry one and two to fight over. it was driving the brunette more than a little mad. thankfully he was asleep, and the voices of his separate selves where silent. that was the only time harry seemed 'normal' was when he was asleep, half asleep, or getting very sleepy.

he groaned softly as he slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes as Dobby came in with another letter from Ron and Dumbledore and Harry sighed a little, tired of his own inner turmoil that was really beginning to drive him batty. he wished there was someone he could talk to, but there was no one but Dumbledore, Frost, and Riddle. and if he chose the wrong person to talk to, he could end up in a very bad situation. "i'll read them later." harry muttered sleepily, he wondered if he could just slip off to sleep one day, and just not wake up. peaceful sleep for the rest of his life, no more worries, no more fears, just pleasant dreams and peaceful slumber. even Harry knew better than that.
 
Frost bit his lip a little as he stepped back into the room, holding a tray of food."I thought you'd want something to eat."He said slowly sitting back down, taking the coffee mug off the tray, sipping it. Knowing it was bad for him, but he couldn't help it. He needed the coffee, it was keeping him grounded when everything else led to despire. studying the coffee cup in his hands, sadness in his eyes even if it didn't show on his face. Wondering if this was the end. If harry regret this...and he could break the bonding. If only he knew how to bring it up to harry. After the baby was born...maybe he could walk away. For the moment though, he needed to be selfish and have the other take care of him.
 
Harry blinked up at the other and then smiled at him. "thanks Frost." he murmured leaning over and gently brushed his lips against the others cheek before scowling at the coffee. "you know you really shouldn't be drinking that." he grumbled as he nibbled on a piece of toast. "it is SO bad for you." Harry tried not to let his inner doubts get int eh way of his relationship with frost, but he couldn't help but pull away, fearful that the Demon really was just using him. "are we still visiting Tom today?" he asked, inwardly wincing as he used the man's first name...but Demon harry couldn't help it, he rather liked Riddle, even if Wizard harry still cried for Riddle's blood, wanting to see the man dead for his crimes against Harry. he never realized that his inward fighting, could sometimes be seen flickering in his eyes as Demon fought against Wizard, Frost hadn't noticed, harry hadn't noticed...was it even normal for harry's two halves to war against each other or was Harry just a freak? "ow!" Harry yelped clapping his hand to his head again when his Scar gave an intense throb making the Golden boy wince. "dammit, i really wish it would stop doing that."
 
"Me to."Frost said, sounding as put out and disconnected as he had from everything recently. Even sex, while enjoyable, was just another mark of how far the demon prince had drawn into himself. The touch of magic and ice just wasn't there. Even as he became more mortal, struggled to hold onto who hed been, but even then he couldn't. And with harry warring with himself, it was worse. Because frost was fighting with himself, mortal and immortal, struggling to find balance. Sipping his coffee he nodded, looking at harry."We're heading out to fire's den after we finish this."He said nibbling on the food.Not hungry. Having lost his appetite the longer he struggled to keep from showing harry just how desperately alone he was feeling
 
Harry grimaced a little and rubbed it a little before he sighed and closed his eyes as the pain faded away. "frost, are you alright?" Harry asked softly, gently setting his hand on the others looking worried, a small frown marring his features his head tilted. looking honestly worried now, he had been too wrapped up in himself to notice something was wrong, but now it was too hard not to notice. "Frost?"
 
Frost tilted his head a little, not looking at the man, staring down at his glass."Fine. Just ready to not be pregnant."He muttered wincing as the baby aimed a kick at his ribs. Really...he hoped harry was right, and he'd be immortal again after this. Because if this was what it was to be mortal, to be so desperately alone, he was so not feeling it.
 
harry chuckled a little and gently laid Frost out on the bed and gently settled his ear on the others belly, listening to the baby. it was one of the few times when harry was completely calm, both sides of Harry agreeing that they wanted to be a part of the baby's life. "hush little one, don't kick your daddy." he purred softly, kissing the belly. "it hurts you know." he had so far, refused to call frost mom, mommy, mum, or any of the following, not wishing to emasculate the other even more than he already was.
 
Frost smiled slightly at the sight of the man laying on his stomach,gently stroking the other's hair."he does.I think he knows that."He muttered smiling wider as the baby listened to instructions and calmed down. pain in his eyes, because he was feeling cut off from everything he needed. the demon in him dying as his mate refused him....or at least what he saw as a refusal.
 
Harry chuckled a little and looked up at Frost, an intense love in his eyes as he looked up at his lover smiling a little. "i love you." he murmured leaning forward, kissing the man before him before laying his head on the others chest, listening to the heartbeat. "...Frost...i need to talk to Tom." he admitted softly. the man, as much as harry hated him, he felt was the only person who could help him settle himself down. surely if this was normal, it was Something that Tom had gone through? or maybe harry really was just a freak who could never belong in any world. the thought made him shudder.
 
Frost swallowed hard."I'll let you through to fire's den.He should be there any minute."He said, knowing that tom would be there any minute. Trying not to feel the ache in his heart because he didn't know how to help, or how to make it better. This was perfect, this moment was perfect.
 
Harry nodded his arms wrapped around the other tightly smiling at him again before gently nuzzling the others belly sighing a little. "i'll be back soon alright?" he promised smiling at the other gently kissing Frost before standing up, waiting to be let into the fire's den. he was terrified, and eager to see tom. even if one half of him wanted to give the man a hug and the other half wanted to sink the Sword of Gryffindor into the mans heart. Harry was going mad!
 
Frost smiled as he let the other through cuddling down into the bed and going to sleep.

Tom glanced up startled at the sight of Harry walking in alone, tilting his head. worried because he knew frost frost would have come if everything was fine."Is everything okay?"
 
Harry swallowed thickly his fingers twitching, the two halves of him going at it, trying to decide what to say, the insecurity filling his face. "i think i'm going mad." he admitted softly letting out a strangled growl, letting himself go now that he didn't have to keep up appearances for Frost. pacing back and forth wildly. "i don't know what to do i can't make them shut UP! one wants me to kill you the other wants to be freinds with you, one says frost has be-spelled be the other says Dumbledore's an evil git! I DON'T KNOW WHO TO LISTEN TO!" he paused panting a little staring at Tom with tears in his eyes. "i don't know what to do.."
 
Tom sighed stepping forward gently wiping the tears away."I know Harry. You will go mad if you cant find peace...it took me years to work back to what I'd once been."Tom swallowed."And I still have my moments of extreme insanity...but one thing I can tell you. Demons wont lie, unless its about a weakness. Listen to your demon...and listen to frost. He after all named you abadonna."He said studying the man, wondering if harry knew, knew how much control harry could have if he just accepted what frost was offering...and yet every time he'd seen them recently it was like the ice prince was dying inside an no one was noticing.
 
Harry's lip quivered a little. "i think i'm killing him." harry admitted softly, though he looked much calnmer now, even if the tears where still slipping from his eyes. he swallowed thickly and turned away from Tom, trying to get himself back together, both sides unwilling to let the Dark Lord see harry's insecurities and pain. "i'm scared." he admitted softly looking up at tome once more. "i don't know what i'm becomming...and what is Abadonna anyway?"
 
Tom smiled slightly, looking above his head, willing to not see harry's weaknesses, knowing the other man wouldn't want to see it.Running his fingers through his hair he tilted his head."There's no exact translation... the closest frost's ever been able to explain it is heart-holder, one who keeps my heart beating."Tom sighed, shaking his head."You probably are killing him...if he's treating you like his abadonna."
 
Harry sighed softly and shook his head, the tears finally gone as he turned to Tom. "...if he feels that i am his abadonna." he whispered softly. "that he is one who holds my very soul." for a wizard, a soul was a very precious ting, to a pureblood, the beleife was that emotions, love, everything came not from the heart, but from the soul. so harry saying that...truly meant something. "i need to get back to him and explain." he admitted clearing his throat a little. "i think he's afraid i don't love him."
 
Tom nodded, understanding. And knowing the demon prine hadn't understood, because for him, the heart was what held their power and sense of self."...Probably. He's been...out of it. And becoming mortal isn't helping.Go harry, go take care of him."Tom said waving the man away.

Back at the house Frost curled up in their bed, cuddling against harry's pillow as he cried. Knowing that harry didn't love him, it hurt, hurt more then anything else.And yet....he'd lost himself to the other man. And he truly believed the other man didn't love him. Was just using him for a pastime.
 
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