xoxo ◣ i should °TELL YOU ⋮⋮ feelsHASkilig && JINFINITE

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112018-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
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---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

The common room was finally clean. Her bedroom was tidied up and, save for the wardrobe, showed no signs that more than two people slept in there. Lizzie was satisfied with her work and as she looked over her room one more time, she felt prepared to welcome and play hostess to her family when they arrived. Which, if Emma was to be believed now, would be in half an hour. Good. That gave her enough time to shower and change.

“Gonna get ready?” Olivia asked as she left the common room with what looked and smelled like a fresh cup of coffee. Lizzie looked down at her towel and change of clothes then nodded. “Okay, well make sure you take care of that love bite Eric left you before your dad sees it,” her flatmate then said before she walked down the hall back to her room. Lizzie quietly watched her walk away, a little confused. A what? What the hell was a love bite?

A hickey. That’s what a love bite was. Lizzie let out a short laugh as she stared in semi disbelief at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She could not believe both Eric and Olivia right now. They were together for the last two hours and neither one of them thought to mention that she had a hickey at the base of her neck this entire time. But at the same time, the strange looks Olivia gave her earlier while they were talking over breakfast made so much sense. Lizzie shook her head and sighed. It’s been so long since she last had to treat and conceal a hickey from her family.

The hickey left Lizzie deep in thought as she showered. She couldn’t deny any longer that things with Eric have been moving...well..inconsistently? There were days when she thought they were doing fine as a newly happy couple in the beginning stages of their relationship. They were cute and cuddly and just overall obsessed with each other. Like high schoolers in the midst of puppy love. And then there were moments like earlier when it was impossible for either of them to take their hands off of each other. Even now, Lizzie could still feel Eric’s hands on her body and no amount of hot water could wash that away. She got lost in the memory of every touch and kiss he left on her that morning. That was the first time he ever touched her like that and it made her crave him even more than she already did.

There were a couple approaches Lizzie could take to hide the love bite on her neck. Unfortunately, with the threat of her family coming any moment, she didn’t have much time to ice the spot. If only Olivia hadn’t spent that morning lecturing her about introducing Eric to her dad, maybe she could have given her a heads up sooner so she could ice it a bit. Any other remedies she knew would have to be saved for another time as well. Which meant concealer or a scarf. Thankfully, she had both. And thankfully it was now cold enough in London to merit a scarf indoors.

In an effort to keep the hickey as hidden as possible, Lizzie opted to keep her hair down and mostly over her shoulder. Surely that plus concealer and a scarf would do the trick. There was only one way to find out.

Lizzie heard her family before they even made it to the front door. Even for a Sunday, it wasn’t often that cars drove down the street. So when she heard two cars stop just outside her bedroom window, she stood up from her desk and pushed back the curtain enough to peek outside. There they were. Her father and sisters just climbed out of the first car when the second pulled up right behind them. She watched them watch as Emma climbed out with Owen right behind her carrying Liam in his arms. Lizzie took a deep breath then let the curtain fall. She abandoned the manuscript on her desk, having attempted to read it when she saw that they were fifteen minutes late from their last announced ETA. As she walked down the hall towards the front door, she adjusted the scarf once more to ensure that it covered the base of her neck. Apparently not even the concealer she applied was enough to lessen her paranoia.

All the stress she felt the past few days vanished completely when her family was standing right in front of her. It was her dad that noticed her first after she opened the front door and walked down the walkway. He smiled and she mirrored it back to him as she went into a quick sprint over to him. Her sisters all cried out happily as she leapt into her dad’s arms for a tight hug. It’s been three months since she saw her family in the flesh, and it showed.

“Wow, this house is a lot smaller than I expected it,” was Izzy’s first comment after Lizzie brought her family inside. “And there are five people that live here?”

Lizzie, busy trying to listen to a now excited little Liam, looked over at her sister and shot her a look. “Hey, it works out in the end. And we all get along!” she defended. Even so, she briefly remembered her own reaction when she first saw the flat last August and suddenly became too aware of how narrow the hallway actually was with eight people there. “Come on, I’ll show you guys around.”

With Liam still holding her hand, Lizzie gave her family a quick tour of the flat. From the hallway, she told them which bedroom belonged to which flatmate then showed them her bedroom. Considering how small the bedroom was for eight people, her family took turns coming inside. As expected, Eric’s wardrobe was brought up for questioning. But by then, Lizzie had an answer to give: there were two girls staying in this room after all. Surely the renters didn’t expect one wardrobe and a dresser to fit all of their clothes. Her sisters and dad understood. After all, she shared a room with Izzy up until she moved to LA for college.

Owen still hung back in the hallway, apparently not comfortable nor interested in going into the girls’ bedroom. Liam already lost interest, too excited at the sight of Eric’s birthday balloons hanging out on Ricki’s side. Yes, she placed them on her roommate’s side to cover up that they were actually for Eric’s birthday. But because the balloons caught her nephew’s attention, she assured Emma, Owen and her dad that it was okay for him to have one balloon so long as it wasn’t the 2 or the 5.

From the bedroom, Lizzie took them to the common room. They all filed in, taking up space wherever they could and that was where they remained. Lizzie did her best to play hostess for her family whether it was serving them drinks or keeping up whatever conversation she got pulled into. With Liam now preoccupied with his newly acquired balloon, it was now her dad that remained at her side. He assisted her whenever he could. Before long, he was back on his fatherly duties, checking in on how she was doing at school and work and making sure she had enough money to pay for food and the like. In regards to the latter, she ended up in a small debate with him when he took his wallet out to give her monthly allowance and insisted on giving her more. But there was no winning against him and she pocketed the extra money while he excused himself to go to the bathroom.

They were in the flat for about an hour when Jane suggested that they go out to eat for a late lunch. Lizzie already had a great place to take them that was just walking distance from the flat. They only had to suffer the cold for a few minutes as they walked to the cafe down the street.

It was during their lunch when the topic of Thanksgiving dinner was brought up. Now that they were all together they could decide on a restaurant for Thursday night. Lizzie presented the list of possible places for everyone to talk over. As Jane and Emma took the reins on this conversation and pulled up the Yelp pages for each restaurant, Lizzie thought about how she almost put the restaurant at Eric’s hotel on the list. At the time it seemed like a good idea. It was sort of halfway between the flat and their Airbnb and she knew that the food was good. But, after her sisters started pestering her to invite Eric to join them for Thanksgiving dinner, the restaurant was crossed off the list immediately. In the event that Eric does end up coming to dinner, the last thing she wanted was for them to find out they were eating at the restaurant her boyfriend worked at. God only knows what her sisters would do with that information.

They were all still discussing restaurants when Lizzie looked up from helping Liam drink his juice box to find Izzy staring right at her from across the table. “So he’s coming to dinner right?” her sister asked in a whisper as she leaned closer.

No words came out of Lizzie’s mouth when she opened it. There was nothing she could say on the matter. First off, she still hadn’t told Eric about it. And second, she hadn’t told her sisters that Eric didn’t want to meet their dad. Neither of those excuses would get her out of this conversation she was forced into. In the end, she simply shrugged her shoulders as she grabbed Liam’s juice box and placed it back on the table.

“What does that mean? Is he coming or not?” Izzy tried again.

“I haven’t asked him,” Lizzie finally admitted.

Her sister scoffed which caught Mary’s attention and now she involved herself in the conversation. Her sisters reminded her that she promised to tell Eric about the dinner a week ago. The dinner’s four days from now and she needs to make the reservation soon. And Mary pointed out that their dad needed to know about the plus one like right now. He was paying after all.

That was what Lizzie hoped they wouldn’t bring up. She sighed as she turned to look over at her dad. He was looking over Jane’s shoulder while she and Emma narrowed down the restaurants some more. With the pressure and weight of Mary and Izzy’s eyes on her, Lizzie knew she had no choice now. They were expecting her to follow through on her promise, even though she still has not told Eric about it. As much as she wanted to choose never, she knew she had to do it now.

“Hey Daddy?” Lizzie said, her voice shaking slightly. She watched as he turned away from his older two to look at her, his youngest. The minute she locked eyes with her dad, she felt the panic swell up inside her. Her fight or flight response kicked in and she wanted to fly as far away from this moment as possible. Her emotions conflicted with each other. On the one hand, she still wanted Eric to meet her dad. On the other, she suddenly found herself in her boyfriend’s shoes, and he must be terrified at the idea of meeting him. How could she put Eric through such a difficult situation? It’s not like he ever had to go through a “meet the parents” type of meeting before. Would he even be prepared?

“Um…” He was staring at her now, the smile on his face slowly giving way to curious concern. She unintentionally started stalling for time. But she was stalling for too long. She had to say something. Right. Now. Before her dad’s eyes and her sisters’ staring became too much to handle. “Would it be okay if I, um, invited a friend to dinner? Like a really close friend of mine?” She didn’t need to look at Mary or Izzy to know they were shooting her a look. She may have been vague, but at least she wasn’t lying. Eric is technically a close friend after all.

She really hoped that her dad would say no. Give some excuse that they came all the way to England to celebrate Thanksgiving with her, as a family. Why bring a friend that wasn’t family? If he said no, then she would officially be off the hook and not even have to worry about telling Eric about dinner. She could say to her nosy sisters that she did her best and better luck next ti–“Yeah, that’s fine, honey.”

Behind her dad, both Jane and Emma smiled at her victoriously. They obviously had the same exact thought that Mary and Izzy probably had. Now she definitely needed to invite Eric to dinner.

The nerves over the prospect of inviting her boyfriend to Thanksgiving dinner didn’t go away after lunch. It still boiled in the pit of her stomach as they walked back to the flat. While the rest of her family talked and laughed and enjoyed their time together, Lizzie hung back trying to push aside the sudden fear that plagued her. She couldn’t understand why she was so afraid now. Just a few hours ago she was telling Olivia that she wanted to introduce Eric to her dad. Now, the very thought of bringing him to Thanksgiving dinner made her ill. There was no way she and Eric can be ready for this meeting in the next four days. Eric was barely ready to meet her sisters! Oh god, Lizzie was gonna be sick.

Lizzie tried not to think about Thursday for the remainder of her family’s visit. They stayed at the flat for another couple hours, sitting around the dining table to talk and catch up some more while Liam sat in the living room area watching Peppa Pig and playing with his new balloon. Halfway through their bonding time, Olivia made an appearance and was immediately introduced to the family. She even stayed a little while her sisters asked her questions about what it’s been like living with Lizzie. Luckily her flatmate knew not to mention anything about Eric and him moving in. But Mary’s “oh you’re that Olivia” sure as hell threatened to bring that up.

Lizzie was beyond exhausted mentally and physically when her family left around five. But despite the desire to take a nap, Ricki and Malcolm were home now and very curious to hear about the visit. At least that was all they wanted to hear about. Luckily her concealer stayed on well enough that even when she finally took off the scarf, the hickey from this morning remained unseen.

The rest of the night was spent relaxing after that long and stressful afternoon. She did, of course, schedule the reservation for Thursday night for the restaurant her family decided on at the end of lunch. And yes, she made the reservation for a party of nine. That was also how Olivia found out Lizzie was going to invite Eric after all. This day just did not seem to want to end. And it wouldn’t until Eric was back home with her.

It was evident that Lizzie intended to make a habit out of waiting for Eric to come home from work on Sunday night. It wasn’t because she was still paranoid that he wouldn’t come home. No, she trusted that he would. She wanted to stay up and wait for him because even if it would be near one in the morning when he got back, she wanted him to be the last thing she saw before going to bed. Especially since she would be going to bed alone the following night. That was just too much time apart for her to be okay with. So when Eric snuck up on her while she was in the middle of watching a movie with headphones on, she wasn’t even mad that he startled her. All the stress from today melted away at his touch and the feeling of his breath on her neck. She closed her eyes and exhaled a long breath. Finally, the universe gave her what she wanted and all was once again right in the world.

Despite her better judgment, Lizzie chose to not tell Eric about Thursday when he got home. It just didn’t seem like the right time...even as she recapped her family’s visit to him. They stayed in the common room for another half hour. Lizzie made Eric tea to help him cool down from what appeared to be another exhausting shift at the hotel. That was another reason why she did not mention Thursday. She did not dare add any more stress onto his shoulders right before bed. But...soon. She’d tell him soon….

But soon never came. Not on Monday before she left for school or right before Eric left for rehearsals. Not during the few hours at the beginning of his overnight shift they spent messaging each other. And definitely not Tuesday morning as she got ready for work. Just like the fear of the hickey being seen despite the concealer and scarf doing their job, the realization that the dinner was now two days away and she still hasn’t told Eric was stressing her out. But it wasn’t like she could finally sit him down and tell him, they had other pressing matters to attend to. Whether it was more important than preparing Eric for Thursday was still up for debate….

When Lizzie arrived at the flat on Tuesday after work, she was surprised to find that Eric was awake. Although, she thought it was so cute when he appeared at the end of the hall from the common room and greeted her in almost the same fashion she typically would. As soon as he wrapped his arms around her, Lizzie could focus on nothing else other than how much she missed him. It’s been almost twenty-four hours since they were together and the exhaustion she felt carrying on without him showed.

“Here,” Lizzie said as she handed Eric the small paper bag she had with her, “I didn’t think you would be awake when I got home, so I bought you a sandwich from the cafe. Just in case you haven’t eaten lunch yet?” She followed Eric back to the common room. No surprise to her, his new blanket was spread out across the longer couch and the coffee table had a couple notebooks out. One day Eric will stop proving Olivia right and actually sleep in their room after an overnight.

After a bit more time spent relishing in their happy reunion, Lizzie left Eric in the common room while she freshened up and changed out of her work clothes. When she returned to his side, she was now dressed in leggings and her Disney sweater. She also had a hot face towel pressed against her neck. After two days of icing the hickey, it was apparently time to put heat on it to get the blood flowing. “So,” Lizzie started as she took a seat beside Eric on the couch. “The big day is tomorrow. And, my sisters would like me to tell you that they are very excited. They told my dad and Owen that they’ll be going shopping so that they don’t end up tagging along. They’ll probably be at the ABC, like, half an hour before we get there to devise some kind of plan of action or something.” Lizzie rolled her eyes amusingly as she tossed the damp towel on the coffee table.

“Until then, I am offering my services to help you be better prepared to face them.” Lizzie sat back on the couch with a bright, reassuring smile on her face. “Anything that you need to know about my sisters that you think might give you some type of upperhand. Or maybe a refresher on whatever the hell I told you about them before that maybe, like, slipped your mind. Or we can come up with some kind of strategy against the whirlwind that is Izzy Darcy.” At this point, she was partially joking.

But as she laughed at her attempt at being silly, she noticed the look Eric was giving her. “Babe, relax. It’s going to be fine! They’re going to love you, I promise!” She leaned in to him and did her best to kiss his worries away. ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112118-----------❖ LOCATION — regent street-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
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---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

The Darcy family visit seemed to have gone well, much better than his own day had— well...okay not his entire day. That morning had been out of this world amazing. He had literally spent the first twelve hours of his birthday with Lizzie. Under the same roof with her at his side, in the same room with her in his arms, skin to skin on her bed with her underneath him. It had truly been magical. They had had moments like that before, but never had things gotten so intensely passionate between them. Up until then, the majority of their little flings had been very centered around her...in the sense that she controlled them. Lizzie had initiated most of them, and she had called most of the shots. She had been the one to leave kisses everywhere she touched. She had been the one to trace the ink across his skin. She had been the one to drive him into a craze. And while each time he had reciprocated and joined in, never before had he truly taken the reins like that. He loved the feeling of her skin as his hands ran across every last bit. He loved the moans he enticed and the movements she made. He loved the way her fingers entangled and pulled at his hair. He absolutely loved knowing he made her feel good. But he was still left wanting more.

A part of him still desired that assertiveness Lizzie had. He liked not having to be the tough one in control of everything. He liked feeling loved and taken care of. He liked knowing that it was safe for him to be vulnerable around her and drop his guard. He liked the whirlwind that came with feeling like she couldn’t get enough of him. The tingling feeling left behind by each gentle kiss of hers. Her hand holding him in place...on his neck, her fingers at his throat— No. No, back up Eric. Rewind. That’s not Lizzie. Lizzie isn’t that person. Lizzie would never.

Eric’s arms tightened around Lizzie that moment as they lay in bed in the dark. He had almost fallen asleep. He had been on the verge of drifting off into a dream of good memories when that bad one surfaced and startled him awake with a gasp, but not for long. Lizzie’s presence soon calmed his racing heart and shortly after his mind and body both shut off after having been awake for far too many hours.

Monday was his day of rest and he was all too happy to accept it when it arrived. As hard as it was to watch Lizzie leave for school, it was even harder for him to stay awake afterwards and for once Eric slept in till late in the morning as he recovered from the back to back of his birthday party and his overnight shift both weighed down by the helicopter stress that was the Darcy family. Lizzie had said that the Sunday visit went well. Things were going well. So why was it that he got hot and dizzy anytime he let his thoughts tumble too far down that road? Without Lizzie in the flat to ground him all of Monday, Eric’s mind kept coming up with worst case scenarios that were just highly unrealistic. He knew this. He knew he was making this into a bigger deal than it was. But that was exactly how stress and anxiety played their game. They didn’t care about rhyme or reason. He had planted the seed of doubt all those weeks ago when Lizzie’s friend had driven her back to the flat. That seed had taken root when he had to lay his heart on the table for Lizzie and tell her painful details of his life. And now her family was here to water it into a sprout and that little seed was fighting to take off and thrive.

He didn’t deserve Lizzie.

She did so much for him, all the time!

That little sprout was a weed though. All it takes is one and they can spread like wildfire and before you know it your garden is covered and you may spend days uprooting them all trying to give your flowers space to breathe. If only you had caught it early on before it had the chance to grow.

But no, Lizzie had tried. Time and time again she willed his worries away but they still just kept coming back. It was so hard for him to fight off his insecurities and the time spent by himself definitely did not help the situation. Texting was such a temporary fix; he was happy to be in contact with her but it wasn’t the same as being in contact with her. He wanted to be able to touch her, and feel her fingers brushing through his hair to give him a physical distraction from being stuck in his head like he was all of Monday and Tuesday until she finally returned to the flat.

The stress was probably to blame for why Eric couldn’t sleep when he had gotten back that morning. His day had been a series of naps rather than his usual “sleep like the dead” that came after his overnights. He wasn’t particularly tired from it, Eric felt fine for now. He was awake and trying to get some work done to keep busy but as soon as he heard the key in the door he was drawn to the hall like a dog to the window. It had to be Lizzie. Well...it could technically be anyone. But routine dictated that Lizzie came home around this time every Tuesday and Eric didn’t allow any other possibilities the chance to speak— it was Lizzie!

He rushed her at the door, the strength of his embrace lifting her toes just off the ground. God it had been such a long day without her. His two overnight shifts always threw him for a loop, it was so disorienting….Sunday through Tuesday just felt like one endless day. But the rest of the week had a set schedule to follow that gave him a little more confidence and reassurance. He would spend the next five nights with her and— no wait...not this week. This week the Darcys were in town and Lizzie had told him that she was going to stay with them Friday night.

And just like that the Darcys were back in his thoughts, but at least now he had Lizzie here with him now and Eric made sure to maintain some form of physical contact for the entire duration of his sandwich. He had stress starved himself for a couple hours now but after the first bite he realized just how hungry he was and promptly scarfed the rest of it down

He was on such a roller coaster. The second Lizzie walked back into the room, all thoughts of her family completely vanished and Eric couldn’t help but smile seeing her wearing her own Disney sweater. They were matching now, like a two piece puzzle fitting together perfectly. Eric had managed to change out of his work clothes earlier and was dressed in his own Disney with dark joggers in his attempt to be comfortable and get some sleep. But clearly the sleep part hadn’t worked out so well.

His smile grew to a slight smirk as his eyes narrowed in on the towel Lizzie held to her neck. She had already scolded him the other day, playfully of course, for having just left on Sunday without telling her it was there. Try as she might though, Lizzie hadn’t been able to get a guilty reaction from him. He had been too amused at her attempt to appear cross. So that, coupled with how cute she was—and the possessive attraction he felt seeing his mark of love still clinging to her skin—Eric didn’t regret it at all. Neither the action nor his decision to not tell her. Everyone knew about them by now; the flat, her school friends, her work friends, his troupe, his coworker, her home friends, and her sisters but not her father. Eric wasn't vocal about much, he didn't go around telling everyone that Lizzie was his girlfriend the way she loved to flaunt him. But seeing that love bite brought a sense of pride out. He wanted to show her off too, just in his own way apparently.

But the first words out of Lizzie’s mouth were about her family and Eric just wanted to scream. He had spent all day pulling himself away from those thoughts, and here she was showering him in them. He wanted so badly to please her. He knew how excited she was for this, but Eric’s own excitement had died down a while ago. He wasn’t so sure he wanted to meet them anymore. There had been a time when he truly did want to, but now...now those weeds had poisoned his mind and he would have backed out if it were anyone other than Lizzie. But of course, he wouldn’t be in this position if it were anyone other than Lizzie. There was literally nothing to be this afraid of, but Eric was downright terrified— and then she was kissing him and yet again replacing her family in his head with wild thoughts of her instead.

They were supposed to be discussing her family, he needed this conversation so he could go into tomorrow prepared for anything. But Eric much prefered leaning into her kiss, ”Are you sure about that?” He smiled against her lips as his hand moved teasingly along the inside of her thigh as they naturally fell back together to lay on the couch. Would her family really love him? What about if they knew everything they got up to? It was supposed to be a secret that he had moved in, would they still love him if they found out he was sleeping with her sharing a bed with her?

The desperation never kicked in, maybe he was still too tired but right now Eric was simply content holding her and brushing his hand against her face while they made up for their twenty four hour drought of kisses. At some point things settled down though and Eric was able to just lay there staring back at her and just taking in all of what he loved most in the world. After some time in silence Eric licked nervously at his lips before finally speaking up, his voice was soft but uncertain as the worries began filling his thoughts all over again, “What did you tell them about me?”

He knew she wouldn't have mentioned anything personal or related to Barking. They had gone through so much over that just between them. He wasn't worried that she had told her sisters he was a homeless orphan with a past of illegalities that had threatened both of their safeties. That wasn't his intention at all by the question, he trusted her completely. What he was wondering was how she sold him to her friends and family. When she spoke of him, what did she gush about? What about him was so important to her that she needed to share it with them? But while he wanted to hear the good things, there was a part of him paying close attention for the bad. Not that Lizzie would have spoken ill of him. But what image had she portrayed him as that he now had to live up to to be a worthy boyfriend in their eyes? Who were they expecting to meet tomorrow and who did he need to become to meet those expectations?

They talked in that sheltered bubble they had created until they heard the first flatmate at the door signalling that it was time for such conversation to be put on hold until they were alone. It didn’t really matter if anyone heard them, none of this was something to be kept hush about, but the last thing they needed was an outsider’s input to rain down on all the positive thoughts Lizzie had just spent pouring into his head. Eric was back to feeling better about this meeting, still nervous, but better. They could handle nervous, she had even admitted to being a little nervous herself. But that soul crushing anxiety Eric had been struggling with had alleviated for the time being and allowed them to spend the rest of the afternoon and evening relaxed and more or less ready for “the big day”.

With Eric’s mental state stabilized and seeing as how busy Lizzie had been and was going to be with her family, she ended up trying to cram as much work into her evening as she could. Eric diligently stayed up at her side through most of it but he did doze off a couple times for brief naps while they were posted in the living room.

It was during his last nap and about half an hour till midnight that Lizzie gently shook him awake. She had long given up fighting him for the night to go sleep in their room, but she was getting tired herself now so it was declared bedtime. Ricki had just gotten home so she was bustling around getting ready for bed along with the couple; but while she seemed to knock out once the lights were off, they were surprisingly still awake. Despite having relocated to their bed where it was warm and comfy, despite being tired and Eric having been falling asleep on and off for hours now, and despite being in total darkness free from all distractions, they were awake. Lizzie was no longer preoccupied with her work and there was no phone in her hand. But it wasn’t that there weren’t any more distractions, it was that they had found new ones in each other.

Eric’s legs were entwined with hers with their bodies pressed up close against each other. His movements were slow now, sneakily even as they took on the risk of Ricki being asleep just across the room from them. Her soft snores were what deemed it safe and anytime she fell quiet, the couple did too, holding their breath until her next sound and then erupting into muffled giggles.

His hands had worked their way up under her sweater and slowly ran across the warmth of her skin while they quietly made out, feeling oh so stealthy in the dark under her comforter. He loved this feeling most of all. Eric loved absolutely everything about Lizzie, but neither holding her hand or long embraces after being apart for hours compared to the feeling of being in direct contact with her. He had found his biggest weakness. But while the intimacy had been exciting, soon enough the exhaustion began to set back in and as he began to tire his mouth gradually moved from hers to trail kisses down her neck, stopping every so often just to breathe against her and feel his own warm breath bounce back against his face from how close he was. And then just like Saturday night Eric’s lips against her neck ceased completely as he lost the battle against sleep and gave in to the comfort of being in Lizzie’s arms and feeling her heart under his hands.

As usual, it wasn’t either of the girls’ alarm clocks that woke him up Wednesday morning but rather Lizzie herself. His eyes felt so heavy as they opened to see her still in bed beside him, her touch extra soft as she walked the fine line between needing to wake him but not actually wanting to. Eric had officially transformed from the morning person he had been for so many years into this bear whose winters were mornings and he just wanted to hibernate every single one away.
”Morning…” His groggy voice greeted her in return when she spoke first but Eric didn’t make any moves towards getting up. He’d get there soon enough, just give him a few more minutes. He welcomed the morning kiss she gave him but was reluctant to release her hand when she finally tried to crawl out of bed. That is until her hair fell behind her shoulder and he saw it. Honestly it took Eric a moment to realize just what it was. Everything last night from when they finally climbed into bed to when they fell asleep was sort of a bit of a blur. There was a sleepy haze over it all but apparently he had been a little more aggressive with his love than he thought and had gotten carried away in the heat of the darkness.

“Sorry love...” Lizzie immediately focused on him while he released her hand to slide his arm back under the comforter where it was warm and out of harm’s way. She first looked at him with mild concern, and rightly so because he was just a little Russian doll with all the apologies lately. But upon seeing him trying to stifle his laugh the wheels started turning in her head. Eric refused to tell her more or explain himself, shaking his head as she questioned him and just insisting that she should go get ready. She’d find out as soon as she saw her reflection….and Eric needed to prepare for the possibility of attending his own funeral.

Most mornings Lizzie would finish getting ready before him, either because she let him sleep in until the last possible moment or because she actually had to leave an entire hour earlier than him. But today Eric sat on her bed fully dressed and waiting for her while she dealt with concealing not one but two of his love bites— or hickeys as Lizzie kept referring to them. He was sort of sorry. He was sorry for the bad timing of them and that she now had to take the time to address them, but just like before he wasn’t at all sorry for giving them to her. It was actually more so a satisfying feeling, and one that would hold him over for most of the morning allowing him to ignore the four girls knocking on the door of his subconscious.

It was around his lunch time that the magic began to wear off as through texting with Lizzie, Eric was forced to accept what today was and that in just under five hours he would be meeting her sisters. It was really happening and Eric found it hard to eat much of anything on his break as the butterflies in his stomach practiced aerial tricks. Only it seemed as though as time passed the butterflies were getting worse and worse instead of honing their craft. They kept knocking into each other and crashing into the walls of his stomach and by the time Eric was walking from the station to Lizzie’s school to meet her he was so sure he was going to be sick.

She was already outside waiting for him and hurried over to close the distance as soon as she spotted him to save Eric the extra steps. Did he look as nervous as he felt? He prayed not as he hugged her, but when neither made any move to start walking his hand instead ran through his hair as he glanced up and away as though expecting to see someone approaching them. It took a couple tries for Lizzie to regain his attention but when at last his eyes found hers she asked if he was ready.

Was he ready? No, not really— well yes, he was technically ready. But did he want to go through with this? He couldn’t back out now, he wouldn’t back out. He had no intentions of calling it off or voicing such thoughts, but he still hesitated to reply. His lips parted as though to speak but no words came out.

Eric’s hands had found the ends to her scarf during his silence and he now tugged at them lightly, a playful smile finally gracing his previous expression. Was her make up not enough? Did she really need the scarf as well to cover him up? He wanted to tease her so badly. Was she aware of how madly in love he was? Did she know what she did to him with the way she looked at him? Touched him? Tilted her head? Even breathed? Still holding her scarf ends he leaned down to kiss her and then let out a slow and shaky exhale when they parted, ”Alright...let’s go.”​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112118-----------❖ LOCATION — near the theater-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
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---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

The moment Lizzie found Anna, Sophie and Eddie at their usual spot in the lecture hall, sitting with a couple other people they'd befriended in the class, they all pretty much gawked at her. She felt as if she was some caged animal at the zoo. As she took her usual seat beside Anna, Lizzie finally acknowledged the awkward situation head on as she looked up at her friends with a smile. “Your hair is down,” Sophie commented instantly, a strange smile on her face. “I dunno why that seems so odd to me. Is your hair really that long?” It apparently seemed odd to the others as they too stared mostly at her hair than her face.

Lizzie acted as if having her hair down was a normal thing for her. This, of course, was only partially true. Sure, she wears her hair down often, but it was almost always whenever she was home. The rest of the time, and one of her other friends was quick to point this out, it was up in her usual high ponytail.

When the professor arrived and prepared the projector for his lecture, Lizzie watched as her friends finally looked away from her “strange” style choices to prepare their notebooks and laptops for the lecture. She exhaled a breath, tossing her hair over her shoulders then adjusting her scarf to better rest around her neck. Eric just had to get a little carried away last night. The hickey he gave her last Sunday was finally starting to fade and now she had to hide another one.

Her school friends were not the only ones that were shocked to see Lizzie wearing her hair down today. When she met up with Beth and Patricia during her two hour break, they were very quick to point out how different she looked with her hair down. It confused Lizzie a bit why they were so shocked. After all, she was sure they saw her with her hair down during their Disney Paris weekend. But when she called them out on their reaction, Beth argued that they thought it strange because they were used to her daytime look including the ponytail. Even at Disneyland she had her hair in her usual ponytail.

Here was the difference between her English school friends and her American work friends. While her English school friends were okay with simply pointing out the change of hair style, they mostly kept a tight lip after that and stuck to quick glances her way with strange, curious looks on their faces. Her American work friends, on the other hand, had no shame in being vocal about their curiosity. In fact, Patricia was the only one to have picked up that she was probably hiding something when she noticed that the hair down was paired with a scarf.

“Oh, my God. You and your boyfriend hooked up, huh?” Patricia questioned, pure joy and eagerness in her voice. Lizzie’s eyes widened and her cheeks burned so hot she was certain they were red. Her assumption was proven correct when both her work friends giggled behind their manuscripts. “You did, didn’t you?! That’s why you started wearing that scarf! Was it during his birthday? Why didn’t you say anything at work yesterday?!” Oh God, Lizzie could die, she was so embarrassed over this conversation.

“Okay no no no,” Lizzie said, shaking her head furiously. “Before you start picturing him naked or something, no, we did not hook up.”

“Then why are you still wearing the scarf, Liz?” Patricia chimed in with a teasing smirk. “This coffee shop has their heater on, like, full blast or some shit. Aren’t you roasting in that thing?”

Beth giggled again. “Yeah, the scarf is cute and all, but you can’t be sacrificing comfort for fashion all the time. Unless…” Her grin was so mischievous now that Lizzie felt like she wanted to just crawl into a deep hole for the rest of her life from all this attention. “Do you need my concealer or something to hide whatever it is you have on your neck. I’m sure we’re the same skin tone.”

“You two need to stop!” Lizzie pleaded with a short laugh. She closed her manuscript and placed it on the table next to her latte. “If I tell you what’s under the scarf, will you quit trying to guess what’s going on with me and my boyfriend?” Her friends nodded with huge smiles on their faces. Lizzie sighed as she leaned closer to the table. She gave the two the sparknotes version: that she had two hickeys on her neck - or “love bites'' as Olivia and Eric liked to call them - and that it was Eric that gave them to her on Sunday and last night. Before either of them could ask, she quickly added that, no, they did not have sex either times. There were too many people in the flat for that to be a possibility.

“So you two haven’t had sex yet?” These two were relentless. Lizzie was hoping they weren’t living vicariously through her relationship or something. Last she heard, Patricia went on a date with some guy she met at school last weekend.

Lizzie laughed nervously, burying her face into her manuscript again. “We are not having this conversation here!” she demanded as her phone vibrated and Eric’s name flashed on the lockscreen. Yeah, they were definitely not going to have this conversation.

After her lunch/manuscript reading session with Beth and Patricia, Lizzie spent the rest of her school day continuing her mission to get as much work done as possible before Friday. Her goal was to finish reading her manuscript by the end of the night so that she could spend all of Thursday typing up the report. It seemed like a reasonable goal despite sacrificing more studying time to focus mostly on work. But oftentimes, Lizzie failed to factor in that her family still required her attention even though they were not all together. So when she wasn’t spending her class time reading the last few chapters of her manuscript, she was texting her sisters or dad. Her sisters more than her dad though. All of them just seemed so thrilled about their meeting Eric in a few hours.

At the end of her last class for the day, Lizzie peeked at her phone to find that Eric had left her a text message five minutes ago. The message read that he was now leaving work and was on his way to pick her up from school. Okay, if Lizzie remembered her Google Maps sleuthing, the trip from the station near the hotel to the station near her school was about ten minutes. Not calculating the possibility that there would be unexpected delays, he should be outside the school by the time she left her classroom and made her way outside. Yes, her head did hurt a bit trying to do that math as she collected her things and left the classroom with Anna.

She didn’t wait for her friends nor walk with them though. As soon as she was out in the hall, she bid her quick goodbyes to Anna and the others, explaining quickly that she was going to be meeting Eric outside in a few minutes. She didn’t even give them time to say anything other than goodbye before she rushed past all the crowds towards the exit.

It was obvious the moment Lizzie saw Eric approach her at the steps that he was nervous. First off, he was still wearing his work uniform even though recalled watching him pack extra clothes in his new backpack this morning. Second, in regards to the uniform, the top three buttons of his work shirt were undone, revealing his mother’s necklace and glimpses of the swallows. And lastly, much as he tried to hide it with his cute smile, worry and nerves were written all over his face. Even as she reached a hand up to caress his cheek, his expression did not soften. “We’ll get through this. You’re totally ready, I promise!” she said encouragingly.

A quick glance through the window into the ABC proved her theory from last night correct. Looking past her and Eric’s usual table at the window, she saw that her sisters occupied one of the tables against the wall. In fact, it looked as if they pushed one of the two person tables next to their four person table. As she pulled away from the window, she took a deep breath then looked up at Eric once more. She squeezed his hand in an attempt at reassurance. Ever since they left the steps outside her school, Eric has not let go of her hand once nor has he loosened his grip. In fact, his grip on her hand was so tight she couldn’t even focus on how warm it was.

“You ready?” she asked with a smile. If he wasn’t, well, it was not the time to mention it. The only way they could go now was forward.

As promised, Lizzie let Eric pay for their orders when they entered the ABC. She watched as he expertly ordered both of their usuals while forcing herself to not look over at the table where her sisters were seated. She knew they were looking right at them. Probably assessing every minor detail Eric was doing the moment they stepped foot inside. God, she hoped that this was not part of their plan. Please be kind.

Once they received their table number, Lizzie took Eric’s free hand and led the way. She was grateful that her sisters tried not to play it cool and act like they hadn’t seen them earlier. As they walked past other tables and made their way towards the back, she focused on the fact that her sisters were watching them the whole time. The closer they got, the wider their smiles grew. Please please please be kind.

Her sisters all greeted her first, all of them standing up to give her a hug. Lizzie returned the gesture with her free hand, refusing to let go of Eric’s once she noted how nervous he was again. After giving a quick hug to Jane, Lizzie took a step back from her sisters to stand at Eric’s side. “Okay, so here we are,” she commented with a nervous laugh. “So this is Eric, the boyfriend.” She lifted their hands up as if their hand holding was proof they were in fact a couple. “Eric, these are my sisters.” She introduced them one by one, giving each sister time to greet Eric in whatever way they deemed appropriate. Jane and Emma, being the ever mature adults, offered to shake his hand once he placed the table number down. Mary followed suit and added the comment that she has heard so much about him from Lizzie. Izzy, ever the spontaneous one, said screw it to handshaking formalities and went in for a hug. Lizzie tried her best not to wince when she suddenly felt her hand being crushed under his grip.

Despite this being a chance for Eric to meet them, Lizzie’s sisters - at least her eldest ones - first asked her about how school was today once they took a seat at their table. Lizzie sat between Eric and Mary on one side while Jane, Emma and Izzy sat across. Thankfully, Emma had the same idea and placed Izzy far away from the already nervous Eric. Lizzie noted that they already had their food, but it looked almost untouched. Maybe they were waiting for them to arrive before eating. Their food still remained untouched while Lizzie caught them up on her school day. They seemed very interested in the weekly work she did for her internship as a majority of their conversation revolved around the manuscript she was reading this week.

It was once hers and Eric’s food arrived did the focus change completely. “So Eric,” started Jane, “Tell us a little about yourself.” Lizzie could once again feel Eric’s grip tighten around her hand. “Lizzie tells us you do some theater work?”

Eric’s strong start during introductions faltered just a bit now that all eyes were suddenly on him. Lizzie tried her best to stay supportive without coming off as if she was babying him. She knew he had it in him to champion through this. They were talking about him after all and they discussed yesterday what was deemed safe to tell them and what to leave out. But as she turned to observe her sisters’ reactions as he spoke, she couldn’t help feeling a little worried. Especially in regards to Izzy. Her sister looked as if she was sitting at the edge of her seat listening to him talk. Lizzie could practically hear her thoughts right now. Does he always talk this slowwwww?

“Any chance we can watch something you wrote while we’re here?” Mary asked. Thankfully she didn’t seem too bummed that they wouldn’t as Eric explained that the current production his troupe was preparing for was not one of his.

So far so good. At least Lizzie thought so. Other than the fact that she suddenly noticed Eric tended to say “uhm” a lot when he talked, it seemed like all was going well. She was grateful that Jane and Emma took control of the conversation most of the time. And they were good at keeping the topics in an area that Eric would not have a hard time answering.

It only became nerve wracking when Izzy decided she wanted to ask the questions. And even after a couple pointed looks from Jane, Izzy didn’t stop being the little firecracker. “So which one of you has the most tattoos? Like, how many tattoos do you actually have? I always thought Liz was crazy for getting so many, but like, it seems as if we get to discover a new one every single time she posts about you.” Lizzie noticed that Izzy was staring directly at his chest, eyeing how the swallows peeked behind his shirt. “Yeah, if you think we didn’t know, we do. Getting all dressed up to impress us was never going to hide that.”

Lizzie felt a little uncomfortable with the way her sister looked at him. She fidgeted in her seat for a brief second then turned to look at Eric. She wanted so badly to button his shirt up to get Izzy to stop staring. That was when she focused on his mother’s necklace. More importantly, the clasp.

It seemed like so long ago when she put herself and Eric in that strange situation on the train during her trial run to her internship. Yet the memory of that moment was still rich in her mind. It was the first time he looked at her the way he does every day now. Had she known then what she knew now about that look, she would never have spent all those months stressing over whether he felt the same way she did for him. But, then again, had she known then what she knew now, would that moment on the train with the clasp of his mother’s necklace still be as powerful?

There was no second thought as Lizzie reached her hands over to him, one hand gently holding the cross while the other took the clasp and carefully slid it up to once again hide at the nape of his neck under his hair. This must have interrupted whatever Eric was thinking or saying because the table suddenly grew quiet. But all Lizzie could focus on was that he was no longer looking at his plate or making quick glances at her sisters. He looked right at her now while her hand still remained at the nape of his neck. She ran her fingers through the tiny hairs, once or twice moving a little higher to lightly scratch the back of his head.

But then the moment ended when Lizzie heard one of her sisters clear her throat. She pulled her hand out from the back of Eric’s head to drop it onto his thigh, giving it a quick squeeze before it disappeared into his hand.

Her sisters continued to ask him more questions. Some questions were to get to know more about him. Other questions were about his perspective on his and Lizzie’s relationship. Before long, their hour or so together needed to come to an end. Eric had rehearsals to attend.

“Okay, well, I guess we can’t keep you around any longer. Plus, I’m sure my three year old is starting to wonder where I am,” Emma said with a laugh. The rest of Lizzie’s sisters cleared up their plates and collected their things. “It was nice meeting you, Eric. I’m sure you’ll do great during dinner tomorrow. We’ll make sure to be in your corner when our dad meets you.” Shiiiiiit.

Lizzie froze, her eyes staring intently at the empty water cup in front of her. She could feel Eric’s gaze on her now. Silence once again came over the table and it felt like it dragged on forever until, “Elizabeth Darcy, did you not tell him yet?!”

“Um…” Lizzie looked up now, avoiding Eric’s gaze to look over at Mary, the one who called her by her actual first name. As much as she wanted to be annoyed that they pulled the “Elizabeth” card on her, she didn’t have it in her to be defiant. Not when her boyfriend was still looking at her for answers.

“You did make the reservations for nine, right? That’s why you asked Daddy if it was okay?” Mary continued, trying to keep her voice at her well-trained middle sister mediator tone. It was better she spoke than, say, Izzy with her tendency towards the dramatic.

Lizzie sighed and nodded her head. She heard Izzy scoff. “Better tell him now,” her sister said as she stood up from her seat. The rest of the Darcy sisters did the same. They said their goodbyes to her and Eric then left them at the table to deal with Lizzie’s big mistake.

“Um…” Lizzie turned her phone over to check the time. It was quarter after six now. “Can I walk with you to the theater?” she asked hesitantly.

Lizzie walked quietly beside Eric for a couple blocks, more focused on keeping step with him against his long strides. The heaviness of the dinner reveal weighed down on her to the point that she was finding it difficult to breathe. She was foolish to think that her sisters would give her this mercy by not mentioning the dinner to him. It wasn’t like she told them otherwise. Since Sunday, she never once told them that she changed her mind about inviting Eric. Not that they really gave her a chance. Against all four of them, Lizzie knew she would never win. They wanted so badly for her to bring Eric to dinner tomorrow. So much so that she went against her better judgment and added him to the reservation. Had she thought this through clearly, she could have worked behind the scenes to get Eric out of it without him ever knowing.

She could have never made the reservation for nine, but told her family that she did. She could have told her sisters that something came up in Eric’s schedule and he had to cancel at the last minute. If she had done that, he would never have known her sisters practically twisted her arm into doing this when she clearly knew he didn’t want to.

But now, it seemed like they had no choice.

“Babe?” Lizzie said nervously. Her voice felt so small against the evening traffic. But it still got Eric to stop. She fumbled with the tips of her hair and avoided his gaze by staring at a button on his shirt. “I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad…”

She sighed loudly. “I wanted to tell you about tomorrow. I tried to find the right time. I swear. But I was so concerned that you said you weren’t ready so at the same time I wanted to think of some way to get you out of it before you could ever find out…” She finally looked up at him apologetically. “I swear this wasn’t my idea. My sisters… It was all Izzy’s idea that I bring you to dinner to meet my dad. But I promise I kept telling them that it was too soon; that we weren’t ready. They wouldn’t listen. They kept telling me that this was the best opportunity for my dad to meet you. Before I knew it, they were all ganging up on me to agree to this idea.” Another long sigh. “Babe, if you really don’t want to go to this dinner, you don’t have to, okay? I can come up with a reason why you can’t, don’t worry.” It was her turn to lay on the apologies. She just felt so terrible for making such a huge mistake. ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112218-----------❖ LOCATION — the bedroom-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie...and ricki?
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---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

Eric’s heart just about dropped into his stomach as all four Darcy sisters stood at the same time to approach them. His grip on Lizzie’s hand tightened while she gave them all a one armed hug but he started wondering if he should let go so she could greet them all properly. Was it weird that he was still holding on to her? Oh, but she was showing off their joined hands so now it would definitely be weird if he let go. Should he have let go earlier?

It took a good deal of strength for Eric to push those useless anxiety driven questions to the back corners of his mind so he could put on a smile and greet the Darcys properly, ”Hello, how are you?”
”It’s nice to meet you.”
”Oh, really?” Eric couldn’t help but glance towards Lizzie at Mary’s comment. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust what she had told him last night when he had inquired about that very subject: what did they know about him. But no matter what she told him, the delivery felt as though it all came out different. It was one thing to tell him what to expect, it was another to realize the hours of girltalk that must have taken place before this very moment. But Eric wouldn’t be given a chance to think on the matter a second longer as two arms that did not belong to his love flew out of nowhere and wrapped around him for a hug. He didn’t mind hugs normally. Hugs were great, and therapeutic— when expected! This had to be the reason he hadn’t released Lizzie’s hand yet.

But then it all mellowed out as they took their seats. Lizzie pulled his hand, still in hers, over to rest on her leg and he fell into a sense of security. Lizzie was right here beside him, they were in this together and she wasn’t going anywhere. He had known that going into this meeting but it wasn’t until that moment that he was finally able to relax and take a deep breath as his nerves began to settle. Eric’s hand was on top, their fingers intertwined and sandwiching her hand between his and her leg. But just a couple minutes in Eric completely released his hold on her. He didn’t pull away though, no not at all. Eric’s hand veryyy slowly opened so his fingers dragged across her leg as his hand flattened out against her. While the sisters all engaged one another in catch ups, Eric’s fingers absentmindedly caressed against her thigh, opening and closing and rubbing across the fabric of her pants. He would have preferred it to be her skin, but obviously that wasn’t an option in their current situation.

This ended up working to soothe him and gave him something to focus on. There were four girls he didn’t know sitting around him and the pressure was real, but this was familiar to him. That is, holding Lizzie’s hand and feeling her beneath his fingers. This was a feeling he liked. This was something he knew. This was what helped keep him relaxed to almost start to enjoy the meeting. Eric loved the sound of Lizzie’s voice and every time a sister asked her something her honey sweet, sent from heaven voice filled the table and Eric allowed himself to get lost in it until he was abruptly singled out by Jane.

Instantly his fingers closed back around Lizzie’s like a snail retreating into its shell after being poked, ”Uhm…” Oh god...Eric’s hand not in Lizzie’s was gripping his fork but he hadn’t taken a single bite yet. His appetite was just finally starting to come back as he had been calming down, but now that the conversation had circled back to him he found himself frozen in place and unable to multitask eating and talking. He would definitely end up taking at least half of this to go and eat at rehearsal instead.

”Yeah, it’s uhm— the theatre is actually pretty close to here,” Hence why this was chosen as the meeting place, yes yes, unnecessary information Eric. Move on, ”I write and uhm...then direct my own shows— plays...mostly. A bunch of one acts...nothing large scale.”
Well, he didn’t only write one acts. Eric had actually done several large productions but the less he gave the less he would have to explain. He was definitely not going to disclose that he had been working on a musical and he prayed that Lizzie wouldn’t mention it either as her sisters pressed him more about theatre, ”They’re doing a uhm, a Christmas production right now— I didn’t write it though— it opens in December so uhm...just after your trip I think?”
He said think, but Eric knew. He was very much aware that they would leave on Monday and then Eric didn’t have to worry about sharing Lizzie with them any longer. He just had to survive this one hour with her sisters and then let her do her thing the next five days until he was back to the top of her priorities.

Okay that was a little selfish, but it was true. Eric wasn’t really a fan of this whole family thing and he couldn’t wait until they left. He wouldn’t dare voice this to Lizzie though. He was far too worried she would take it the wrong way no matter how he explained it. He didn’t dislike her family, he just disliked that they took her time and attention away when she could have spent it all with him. Again, it sounded so selfish. There was just no good way to put it.

Theatre was easy enough to talk about, and even when they asked if he had gone to school for it he was able to give a half truth that yes he did study theatre while in school. They didn’t need to know that he dropped out almost five years ago. After all by now he should have finished school, assuming he followed a “typical” education and had attended university around nineteen years old.

They asked if he was a local then, if he had grown up here in London or if he had moved for school and then stayed. But Eric didn’t hesitate anymore than he already had been. After all, it wasn’t a secret that he grew up in Barking. It was just that home was such a painful place for him that he never brought it up unless he had to, ”Err...no, I actually grew up about an hour outside of London? A little place called Barking— ”
”Barking? That’s a funny name for a city.”
Lizzie had warned him about Izzy and his eyes glanced over to the Darcy sister seated farthest across the table from him. He honestly didn’t know what to say to that. It’s not like she was wrong. He had heard all the puns before, “Barking mad” and such. But not having any feeling of attachments to his hometown left him not really caring what was said about it, whether good or bad. He didn’t care to defend the city, nor was he much interested in joining her in making fun of it. He just….didn’t care.

Izzy was shushed by one of her sisters and stayed pretty quiet while Emma took a turn to talk but sure enough, it was only a matter of time until Izzy resurfaced to blatantly speak her mind.

Honestly, Eric was completely speechless. He had been prepared to answer Izzy’s question and tell her that he definitely had more tattoos than Lizzie. But then she had just kept talking and by the time she was done he just felt all sorts of exposed as though he was wearing some ultra revealing, skimpy little sheer outfit up on a podium with a half dozen spotlights all focused on him.

Eric hated this feeling. He was no stranger to the sexual, objectifying nature of Izzy’s gaze. She was most definitely not the first to look at him with that mixture of seductive curiosity, but even though he knew she didn’t have any true ill intentions it still was making him a little sick the way she just...stared. His legs had already been crossed under the table, one knee over the other. But he now uncrossed them and swapped so the other was on top as his tongue nervously passed over his lower lip. God he did not want to be here right now...

”Uhh…”

It was Lizzie releasing his hand that granted him an escape from the extremely uncomfortable pressure that Izzy had put on him. But he didn’t realize it at first. The split second she let go he felt a panic take hold of his heart and it squeezed painfully tight as his eyes shot over to look at her in hopes of some explanation why she had let go. He needed her now more than ever, why would she let go— but as both her hands stopped in front of him he sucked in a quick breath. Her fingers flitted against the exposed skin on his chest and Eric found himself just staring at her, trapped in a mesmerized trance that only Lizzie was capable of putting him in.

Suddenly nothing else mattered. He was sitting alone with Lizzie, her sisters completely gone from his thoughts as Lizzie’s fingers danced around the back of his neck. He had thought the way she had been touching him lately was intense. He had grown to crave those touches. But this simple, subtle, tender touch of hers on his neck and in his hair was pulling him far from reality while his eyes got lost in hers. No words were spoken between them but he still received the message loud and clear, “You’re okay...I love you.”

Lizzie was the only person in the world to have ever made him feel safe like that. Sure he had Olivia, Diana, early memories of his mother, but they just weren’t the same. The feeling wasn’t this intense. It didn’t steal his breath while simultaneously breathing life back into him.

He blinked heavily for a moment, melting under her touch until the other four Darcys made their presence known. Hopefully no one noticed the light gasp that escaped him as he learned how to breathe again. He gripped her hand tight when it returned to his, keeping them on his thigh now as he uncrossed his legs again, adjusting himself in the chair and trying to ignore these feelings Lizzie had brought out inside him as he tried now to address Izzy’s question. Or rather...clarify her wrongful assumption, ”Actually I uhm, I came straight from work. Sorry, I didn’t have time to change…”

It was sort of true...the actual truth was he had a change of clothes in his bag but he had just completely skipped on changing before he left so here he was now feeling entirely overdressed while simultaneously feeling like he was being mentally undressed. Thank you for that experience, Izzy.
”Oh where do you work?”
Eric was so thankful for the sister that helped to change the subject and save him from that precarious tattoo conversation that could have easily gone the wrong way if Izzy had been allowed to go completely unchecked— she ended up trying to talk about his tattoos again a little later.

”Thanks love,” Eric had stress downed his water early on but thankfully Lizzie was more than willing to share hers. It was during this exchange that Izzy decided to speak up upon seeing his inked arm out on the table now after Lizzie had been holding it for so long. But the other Darcys weren’t having it and shut her down so that Eric didn't have to answer anything about his personal choice in skin art. No matter, Izzy just found a new approach sometime later after Emma finished asking about their relationship, “So like, do you guys really see each other every day?”

Oh no. Izzy went on to mention how Lizzie included him in her Snap streaks or stories just about everyday, sometimes multiple posts in a day. This was pulling into dangerous territory. It was a big rule that they were not to let any of her family know that they lived together, so how were they supposed to explain this? After all it’s not like they ran in the same circles outside of the flat. Eric wasn’t a student, and he didn’t work nearby. In fact they went well out of their way to see each other on occasions like this and the rest of the time they simply were in the flat together. How long did Lizzie plan to hide this very large and important detail from them? Eric was ace at keeping secrets, but that’s because he didn’t fabricate lies for them. He didn’t make up stories to fit the narrative. He knew it was only a matter of time before one of these girls caught on and he was sure that once one knew the others would be told immediately after.

Thankfully Lizzie jumped in to save him this time, afterall she was also defending herself with this one rather than speaking on his behalf. And then before he knew it things were wrapping up. Both conversationally and physically as he and Lizzie packed away his leftovers to bring to rehearsal. Izzy aside, this had gone well. Eric was feeling pretty good about it all and that he had left a good enough impression on her sisters to earn their approval—

“Our dad”.

What.

He said nothing in response and looked to Lizzie sitting beside him. They were no longer holding hands since they had been clearing his plate just a moment ago. For the first time during the whole meet and greet, Eric felt alone. He was so lost, and confused, and his hand quietly closed in on itself while his eyes danced to each sister as they took turns attacking Elizabeth over not informing him that he was apparently attending tomorrow’s dinner...with her father!?

Eric wasn’t used to this and certainly hadn’t been prepared to experience it. That is to say, usually he was the one struggling to admit something to Lizzie. This was a first for him, to see her all hung up over a conversation she knew she needed to have but wasn’t ready or sure how to go about it. But a part of him was glad she was hesitating to bring it up. If he were to be honest, he was a little upset right now. He’d never really felt upset with her directly before and he didn’t know how to process it. Part of him argued that he had hidden so much from her, so it was okay for her to have hidden this. But this and that were two totally different scenarios. He had kept secrets to keep her out of them. But here she was including him into something without telling him. And the cherry on top was that she knew he didn’t want to meet her family to begin with.

”When—? How long have you known about this dinner?” He was sort of at a loss as to what to say and so words were escaping him right now. He wanted to know when the idea first came up to invite him, but luckily Lizzie seemed to understand what he was referring to and went on to explain that it had been since that night after he had moved in when her family called and stole her away from their bed. And then she had had all those sleepless stressful days leading up to their arrival….so it had basically been a week since her sisters first told her to invite him and she never once brought it up. Nor did she ever actually turn them down either. So now he was in this awful awkward predicament where they were all expecting him to attend but Lizzie was trying to give him an out and Eric really just didn’t know where he stood on the matter anymore. Clearly Lizzie wanted him to go, otherwise she never would have entertained the thought of inviting him. But she was also right in knowing that he wasn’t comfortable with this. In fact he was far from comfortable with it. It had taken so much just to get him to sit down casually with her sisters, and now he was supposed to attend a last minute formal dinner with her father??

”Uhm, who is going to be there?” He was really trying to not give her a hard no. He really wanted to let her talk him into it but as she rattled off names it only further sank in that he did not want to be there, and none of her answers for his follow up questions helped change his mind either.

Eric honestly felt terrible at the prospect of turning her down like this. The whole timing of it, this was so last minute for her to have to now potentially adjust their plans to exclude him. To now go back home and tell her sisters that actually he wouldn’t be coming. Would this now ruin their image of him? Would the past hour or so now have been for nothing? He was just going to be the boyfriend that backed out of family dinner? But was that really that bad? They had only been dating for two weeks, and they wanted him to go to dinner with them?? Maybe a home meal would have been doable, but not going out to a restaurant with an advance reservation and seven other people each with their own expectations. It didn’t matter at this point that he had already met four of them. Now not only would he have to meet the two and a half men of the Darcy family but he would have to do so while maintaining whatever image and rapport he just just built up with Lizzie’s sisters. That is of course assuming that the train wreck ending hadn’t just ruined everything, ”Why did we go through all that— hiding that I moved in— I thought you didn’t want to tell your dad about us?” He did his absolute best to keep the emotions out of his voice, they could have this conversation calmly, there was no need to go getting upset but...hadn’t that been the biggest rule? That she didn’t want her father to know about them "yet". But here she was telling him she had actually wanted it all along. Had she been holding back for him? He should be feeling touched that she cared and knew him well enough to not want to force him into it. But he cared what she wanted too. If she had told him from the getgo that she wanted this then maybe he could have had this past week to process. But instead she kept it from him and made a mess of it all and now what— did he go through with something he wasn’t okay with just to please them all? Or did he let everyone down and turn into the unreliable boyfriend and completely ruin whatever good feelings they had left lunch with?

Lizzie was allowed to change her mind. She was allowed to want things even knowing that he didn’t. Hell he didn’t even mind her going behind his back about it all, but the fact that in the end she hadn’t done anything about it and just let that bomb go off in his face? He had been sick with nerves going into that lunch and then that just made him— made them look like such fools. Weren’t they closer than that? After all they went through already, she really just let her sisters see them like that? They weren’t just not on the same page about this, they had been reading two very different books and Eric just found out that his was the wrong one, “I’m sorry love but I— I can’t.”

Throughout lunch, Eric had wanted nothing more than for it to end so he could be alone with Lizzie. So he could run his hands over her while tasting the greatest sweet to ever exist. But then lunch had ended the way it had. And then all this...Eric still wanted her, but he almost felt like he wasn't supposed to. At least not in the same way he had about forty five minutes ago. Taking her hands now he gently ran his thumb across the back of her hand, his eyes staring down at the little leaf below her thumb as he brushed over it, ”I’m sorry,” Just that morning his apology had been half assed. A joke, just to tease her about the gifts he had left on her neck. But now those two words felt so heavy as they fell from his mouth over and over again, ”You can blame me— tell them I have rehearsal— “ It was true after all, he did have rehearsal. He just just been skipping it a bit lately to spend time with her and he would have dropped it immediately for her for this dinner had it been under different circumstances, ”I’m sorry.”

Eric almost felt worse apologizing than the thought of actually attending tomorrow. He just felt like he was failing Lizzie. He had put her through so much but he couldn’t do this one thing for her?? Maybe….nope! The moment he let himself reconsider, the panic grabbed at him again and he took a moment to just breathe before raising his eyes in hopes of finding hers. She must hate him, or at least be disappointed in his inability to be brave, but even in this moment he still looked to her for his own reassurance. He needed her to help him feel okay and he was sort of terrified to let her go now and walk into the theatre. It was one thing for them to both be upset right now, together. But the thought of being upset away from her was a little too painful. She was such a comfort to him and surely he was to her. Would she be okay? Would he be okay? Were they okay?

”Uhm, I’ll see you tonight? I’ll text you when I’m leaving…” He always did, he really didn’t need to say that he would. But he was just feeling so insecure over literally everything right now while it all caught up with him. But who was he trying to put at ease here? Lizzie? Or himself? He leaned down to kiss her goodbye. They always kissed goodbye. But while usually it was needy and prolonged, today’s was short and sweet. A loving peck cut short by the raging anxiety within him. As Eric pulled back his mouth opened, another apology on the tip of his tongue, ”I’m...”

”Please don’t stay up all night working…” They had been up late last night, though for completely different reasons...he didn’t want her getting another six or less hours of sleep.

”I love you…”

Eric had told her not to stay up all night, but he hadn’t expected her to actually fall asleep. She always had waited for him before. Any other night he wouldn’t have minded, she didn’t have to wait for him. She did it because they were in love and had so little time together because of their schedules. But just like he often fell asleep first, she was allowed to be tired and go to bed. There was no rule that she had to wait for him. It was just...after leaving each other on such a weird note, he had really wanted to come home to her and have her tell him over and over again that they were okay and he hadn’t just fucked up their entire world. Instead he stood in the doorway to their room watching the little mound that was Lizzie under her comforter. She really had gone to bed. And it wasn’t even that she had fallen asleep waiting for him or in the middle of reading. The common room was clear, and there weren’t any papers on her night stand...Lizzie had really just shut out the world and gone to sleep.

Olivia came home not long after he did, she had gone to a late dinner with a school friend and they lost track of time. Eric hadn’t changed yet, he still wore what he had changed into at rehearsal and his backpack was tossed on the far end of the couch he sat on. He had a beer out and some leftovers he found in the fridge. He had barely eaten today and he could feel it, he was so hungry, but his stress just kept eating at his hunger and so here he sat trying to force himself to eat— partially as an excuse to not go to bed yet. He wanted so badly to go curl up beside Lizzie...but he wanted to be in bed with his Lizzie, and without all these dark thoughts hanging over him, ”Hey, where’s Lizzie?”
”She went to bed early….I uh, think her family wiped her out.”

”Oh right! You guys had lunch today right? How was it~??”
Olivia was a little overexcited now as she sat herself down beside him and without asking reached to take a sip of his drink, ”It was alright, I guess.”
She wasn’t expecting any sort of extravagant answer, “alright” was good enough in her books when it came to Eric and concerning something she knew he had been uncomfortable about. At least he had gone, that was what mattered, ”Good! Her sisters seem pretty chill.”

They talked for a little, recapping a bit of lunch but the entire time Eric looked like he had something to say. Something he needed to tell her. Honestly if he hadn’t eventually spoken up then she would have just outright asked him about it, but tonight he saved her from prying, “They want me to go to dinner tomorrow.”
Olivia had that gleam in her eye and the tiniest smile in the corner of her lips that told him she had already known about this. Brilliant. So Jane knew. Emma knew. Mary knew. Izzy knew. Lizzie knew. Olivia knew...hell even the Darcy’s father knew to at least expect someone! Eric was the only one left in the dark this whole time.
”So she finally asked you? Good. I— “
”No,” Eric went on to tell her how Lizzie’s sisters had been the ones to mention the dinner. Lizzie herself had never said anything about it.

”I’m not going.”
”What? Eric. You have to go. When will you ever get another chance like this?”
”No I can’t— I don’t want to...I have rehearsal anyways. It’s too last minute.”
Olivia however was quick to call him out on his bullshit, ”Last time you turned down an invite from Lizzie you felt like shit over it. Remember that open mic night she tried to get you to go to? Yeah. Imagine if you had gone to that.”
It was true, Olivia had guilt tripped him that night into heavily regretting not going with Lizzie. And she had a point. What if he had gone? Would things have progressed differently between them? Would they have gotten together sooner? Could he have avoided all the secrets and drama that had unfolded afterwards? What if they had had that conversation about “exploring their feelings” after mic night instead of it being pushed back until flat night? Would talking about it a week earlier have made a world of difference? Where would they be now if he hadn’t panicked and turned down her invitation?

That wasn’t all he and Olivia talked about though. The darker parts of Eric’s worries soon surfaced as well with Eric confessing to how he didn’t feel he fit in with her family and was so sure that they wouldn’t like him if they knew a single real thing about him, “I’m sure they’ll love you,” Lizzie had told him the same thing, ” But in the end It doesn’t even matter if they like you Eric. It’s not going to change how Lizzie feels about you. Trust me.”

You would think that with all the emotional exhaustion and after staying up late talking with Olivia, that Eric would have stuck to his usual routine of sleeping in completely undisturbed by sights, sounds or sensations in the room. But instead Eric’s eyes peeked open well before any alarms went off. It was still pretty dim in the room with the main light source coming from the edges of the blackout curtains that hadn’t been adjusted to completely cover the window after they had last been drawn. But there was a glow against Lizzie’s face as his eyes first landed on her. He hadn’t moved yet, staying exactly as he was, in bed facing her while she seemed too focused on her phone to notice he had woken up. Any other morning he might have teased her, especially after his birthday morning and then lunch yesterday when her sisters had outed her for posting a lot of photos of him. “Is that another picture of me?”
But no...the mood wasn’t right for that. Not after yesterday. This whole Darcy trip had been one stress after another. He had seen her glued to her phone with a frown on her face just about every day and this morning was no exception.

His arm slowly left the comforter, hand reaching out to touch her arm closest to him, ”Hey you…”
They were okay right? He really needed them to be okay. Would they be able to resume their routines of morning kisses between bites of toast and sips of coffee and tea? Would she kill him for what he was about to say? She had probably told everyone by now that he wasn’t coming. He had probably ruined everything. But ruined or not he still needed to try, ”I know it’s probably too late now but...I’ll go.”

He could tell she had definitely not been expecting to hear him say that. It was like she didn’t actually believe those two little words: I’ll go.
“If it’s that important to you...and you’re sure that this is what you want, then I’ll go. Just...”
Eric had one condition. One absolute that he needed her to promise before he could fully commit to the chaos he was about to submit himself to, “...please don’t make me sit next to your father— or Izzy.”

She was still in disbelief. Asking if he was sure and insisting that he didn’t have to. But Eric wasn’t having any of that. The way she said “really??” with that excited California voice of hers brought a smile to his face, ”Really. Now come here before you make me change my mind again.” Even if she had tried to resist, Lizzie was powerless against Eric as he wrapped his arm across her tiny body to first pull her close and then roll onto his back, bringing her with him so she was on top of him. Eric really did not want to talk about it or give her family another moment of thought. Not right now. What if he really did talk himself back out of it? No, right now he needed Lizzie. He had gone to bed without her and it had killed him. She was the only one who could make this right again.

If going to meet her father would make her happy, then Eric would do it. He would do anything for her happiness, and he hoped she could feel that in his kiss.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112218-----------❖ LOCATION — the bedroom-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

Lizzie didn’t know what felt worse: watching Eric walk away to go to rehearsal or letting the guilt and regret win. She knew this was nothing like that night he skipped rehearsals to surprise her at the flat. But she couldn’t help comparing it to now. Of course right now was nothing like that night. Tonight they talked it out. That night had been so horrible. To this day she felt a deep, dark hole grow in the pit of her stomach whenever she thought back to it. Not even the night she considered leaving him after he told her everything could make her feel as worse as watching him walk away so angry at her. No, nothing could ever be as bad as that night. But watching him walk through those theatre doors, Lizzie kind of wished this was as bad as that night. At least then she didn’t have to struggle with the guilt she felt over the mistake she just made.

The flat was a buzz of noise when she got home. It was about half past seven now which meant that everyone should be back. Just from the hallway, she could hear that both Ricki and Angel were home. And then after a deep breath to attempt to calm her nerves, she could smell that Malcolm was home as well. There were no obvious signs that Olivia was home though, but that was okay. She was the only one that knew about her lunch with Eric and her sisters and she really did not want to tell her about how that went. She did not need a lecture from her right now.

Before anyone could find out that she was home, Lizzie snuck into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. Ricki would find out eventually when she abandons her post in the living room. But for now, Lizzie just wanted to be alone. She missed Eric so much. It’s only been an hour since she dropped him off at the theatre for rehearsals, but his absence was so strong. The bedroom felt too cold and too quiet without him in comparison to the heat she felt the past few days. She wished for his touch, to feel the electricity surge from his hands as they traveled across her body. Anything to stop the heaviness in her chest while she replayed over and over the events from the end of lunch.

She was so angry at her sisters. Throughout the entire lunch they gave her this false sense of security that they wouldn’t mention tomorrow night’s dinner to Eric. She thought they all had this sisterly moment, sensing that she wanted the dinner to not be discussed for his sake. But no. That wall came crumbling down and she was left feeling so exposed and useless. How was she going to fix this now?

There was no way Eric would agree to dinner now. Not just because it was too last minute, but she had obviously disappointed him by keeping all of this from him. Had he at least known about the threat her sisters posed on her to invite him to dinner, maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. He would have been ready with some kind of response to Emma when she mentioned the dinner. He could have told her himself that, unfortunately, he’s unable to go because of rehearsals. After all, he did tell them that his theatre troupe was preparing for the opening night of their winter production. Surely they could understand that he would need to miss dinner for something that important. Why didn’t she consider all this before going behind his back to reserve him a seat for dinner?

For the first time in months, Lizzie wore the purple sweater. She had long since relinquished her claim to it after Barking, but tonight she just needed it. Eric’s absence was too much for her to bear tonight and she needed something, anything, to make her feel like he was with her. It didn’t matter that this loneliness was temporary. She knew he was going to be home in a couple hours. But she was in too deep over her guilt and regret about dinner. All that mattered to her now was finding some kind of reminder that he still loved her and that she didn’t screw this up so badly.

As she nibbled at the end of the sleeve, Lizzie stared blankly at a spot on the bed while her mind wandered. She didn’t know how she was going to clean up the mess she made. Could she even? It all just seemed too late now. Nothing she thought up could resolve the issues that sprung up after Eric found out about dinner. And it just seemed like she had no one to talk to about this. She couldn’t talk to Eric. He made it perfectly clear he didn’t want to go, which she already knew. She definitely could not talk to her sisters. It was because of them that she was in this mess in the first place. If they had just listened to her when she told them it was too soon to introduce Eric to her dad, she would not be in this situation. She couldn’t talk to JKL or Irene...neither of them knew about any of this and she just did not have the energy to catch them up. Olivia, again, wasn’t an option. Lizzie wasn’t even sure she was home right now.

As she continued to drown in all the dark thoughts running through her head, Lizzie aimlessly flipped her phone around in her hands. She ignored all the text messages from her sisters. She had a guess what they were probably saying and she didn’t want to hear any of it. But just as she was about to toss her phone onto her bedside table for the night, she found herself unlocking her phone to go to her messages. No, she wasn’t going to read whatever text messages her sisters left her. Not even Emma’s. She scrolled down until she found a familiar photo then looked to the right of it to stare at “Daddy.”

Hi are you at the airbnb?​

She watched the text icon intently until her dad replied that he was. Taking a deep breath, she closed Messages then went to FaceTime to start an audio call with him. He picked up after only a couple rings.

“Hi honey! How was your day today?” her dad greeted cheerily. Lizzie couldn’t help the soft smile that appeared. When her dad was this happy, it was just infectious.

“It was okay, I guess. You?” Lizzie stared down at the hem of the sweater as her dad recapped his day. It didn’t take long for Lizzie to regret calling him. It sounded like he had a great day out with Owen and Liam. There was no way she could ruin that for him with her own troubles.

But her dad was already here and after raising five girls for almost thirty years, he was pretty much an expert on picking up when something was wrong. Not that Lizzie was making it difficult for him. As hard as she tried to remain invested in the call and mirror his high spirits, eventually she was only able to give him short responses that were no more than five words. “That’s great, Daddy” was her go to.

“Honey, is something wrong?” he asked, concern heavily in his tone.

Lizzie let out a deep sigh. “Sort of…” she said in a small voice.

There was a pause. “What is it? Do you need me to come over?”

As if he was with her in the room, Lizzie shook her head while saying, “No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.” Her dad, ever the patient man he was again after raising five girls, knew how to coax his way past the other “No, it’s okays” and “I’m fines” until Lizzie sighed in defeat. She hung her head as she finally admitted, “I’m sorry, Daddy. I think I screwed up.”

“What do you mean? What happened?” Now her dad was very concerned. He once again offered to come over to the flat, but she quickly turned it down.

Lizzie sniffed then sighed once again. She called him for a reason and she might as well follow through with it than chicken out. “You know how I asked if I can bring a friend to dinner tomorrow night?” He confirmed that he remembered. “Well...I wasn’t exactly telling the whole truth. He’s more than just a friend—”

“He?” She should have known he would be listening carefully.

“Um…” Lizzie fumbled with the hem of the sweater now. “Yeah....The thing is...um...I’ve been seeing someone?” There was another pause as Lizzie waited for her dad to process this bit of news after the first “huh.” She felt terrible. Yet another important man in her life that she kept in the dark.

Before she could even get to the reason for her troubles, Lizzie had to backtrack for her dad. She told him some of the basic information about her relationship to Eric: how they met, how long they’ve been seeing each other, when they decided to make things official. Then she went into the details of the mess she made starting last week. From the plans with her sisters to meet him in person up until dinner, Lizzie caught him up on all the secret keeping. Okay, not all exactly. She still kept the fact that Eric was living with her a secret, but she did admit that the balloons in her room were actually his. Even if they technically had a good reason for his moving in, she didn’t want to be forced to reveal all she promised Eric she wouldn’t.

“I told them that I didn’t want to invite him to the dinner,” she continued, changing positions on the bed so she could rest her head on her pillow. “I told them that it was too soon for you two to meet. We’ve only been dating for two weeks. But Izzy was so adamant that I invite him and next thing I knew, the others were on her side.” She sighed into her pillow. “And I’m not just making this decision on my own. I talked to Eric about dinner and how the girls wanted to meet him and it took soooo much convincing just to get him to agree to meeting them. He agrees that it’s too soon.”

“Is that what you really want though?” her dad asked simply. But the question still took her by surprise.

It took her a moment to think this question over. “Well...I mean...it’s the best option right now. And had I just stuck to it I wouldn’t be in this mess. Daddy, he looked so disappointed when Emma was the one that told him about being invited to dinner.” Her dad asked why she hadn’t told him. “I dunno...I couldn’t find the right time, I guess? I also thought that maybe I could come up with some reason why he couldn’t go that would satisfy the girls without him ever finding out.”

“Because you both think it’s too soon?”

Lizzie nodded then turned onto her other side to switch her phone to the other ear. “I don’t...I don’t ever want to force him to do something he’s not comfortable with. No one would be happy.”

“You wouldn’t be happy either?” her dad asked now. When Lizzie asked for clarification, he continued with, “Well, I’m not going to suddenly demand to meet him if you don’t want me to. If you think it’s too soon then it’s too soon. It’s not like this family has a set timeline when you and your sisters need to bring home...significant others for me to meet. But, again, is this what you really want?”

Lizzie was silent for a moment. The words were on the tip of her tongue, begging to be said. Ever since her short talk with Olivia the other day, she struggled to keep it all in; how she really felt about all this. “I want you to meet him, Daddy. Like, in person. I want you to see for yourself how amazing he is and how happy he makes me feel.” The words came out so effortlessly, like word vomit. It was painful and relieving at the same time to finally confess her true feelings over this mess. And once she started, she couldn’t stop singing Eric’s praises. How talented he was as a playwright, singer, song writer. How he had this way of making her feel like she was the only person in the world. How much she admired him for always pushing forward even when the world tried to pull him back. She could go on and on about how much she adored him.

“You really like this guy, don’t you?” her dad asked now.

Lizzie exhaled a breath as a smile appeared on her lips. “Daddy...” I love him “I really do.”

“You know when you finally replaced the carpet at the house with wood flooring? I think I was like thirteen at the time?” she continued, rolling onto her back. “Do you remember Mary said something like it’s almost as if we’ve had the wood floors this whole time? Like, that we all got so used to it so quickly and that the carpet was some distant memory? Or like we never had it in the first place?” Her dad didn’t exactly remember the situation word for word, but he got the gist of where she was going with this. “I totally agree with her, you know? I learned to crawl and walk on that carpet. I spent the first thirteen years of my life with my feet on that carpet. And yet, almost the next day...it’s as if we never had it? Even when I try to remember things from when I was a kid, all I can see is the wooden floors.” She paused to think this over once more. “That’s...exactly how I feel about Eric, Daddy. I know I just met him a few months ago and we only started dating for a couple weeks. But...like, all my memories before him are such a blur and everything with him I remember so vividly. I don’t want to risk losing that. He’s become so important to me.”

“Daddy, I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you about him earlier. And I’m sorry that when I finally did, it had to be under these circumstances. Things have just been so crazy the last couple months, I can barely wrap my head around most of it.” Lizzie truly was sorry. Despite her constant battle for her dad’s attention, she always felt like they had a strong relationship. Especially since she hardly had any memories of her mother. All her parental memories centered around her dad. Every milestone she hit had him watching in the background. He should have been treated better when it came to all the Eric stuff.

Lizzie spent the rest of the phone call with her dad asking for advice on how she could resolve the dinner issue. Should she call the restaurant and update the party number since Eric wasn’t going? Should she try to convince Eric to see things through her perspective? What the hell should she do about her sisters? For the first two, her dad suggested not worrying about it for tonight. It was already too late to stress it over, that the best thing for her to do now is to sleep on it and, if needed, talk it over first thing tomorrow morning. As for her sisters, well, he offered to deal with it.

And the award for Best Dad goes to….

Lizzie had every intention of waiting for Eric to get home from rehearsals. But after everything that went down since the end of lunch and all the emotions she suffered through, she was just too exhausted to try. Not even the prospect of finishing the final chapters of this week’s manuscript could motivate her to stay awake. Hard as she tried, the moment she buried herself into her comforter not even staying on her phone could keep her awake. Before she knew it, she was out like a light.

Having gone to bed so early last night, it was no surprise that Lizzie was the first one awake in the bedroom. Before doing anything else, Lizzie turned onto her other side. She felt the presence of another person beside her. But she wanted to see that Eric did in fact come home back to her last night. She fell asleep before she could receive his usual text letting her know he was done with rehearsals. Sure enough, there he was, fast asleep and looking so peaceful as if the troubles of his world were no longer weighing him down. She wished for him to always be this peaceful; he deserved nothing but the best life could give him. As careful as possible, she reached a hand out to him to caress his cheek.

Then she heard a buzzing sound behind her, pulling her away from her serene, loving thoughts for the man beside her. She dropped her hand from his cheek as she turned to look behind her towards the bedside table. The phone screen went dark by the time she saw it, but reached for it regardless. A text message from her dad was waiting for her. She briefly looked up at the time, shaking her head in disbelief. Even on a short vacation, her dad was still in work mode. At least her excuse for being awake at five in the morning was due to going to bed before nine last night.

Lizzie spent the next hour or so in a text conversation with her dad. They didn’t just talk about the whole issue with tonight’s dinner, Lizzie didn’t want to focus solely on that. Not while Eric was sleeping right beside her. She didn’t want to worry him about what he already made up his mind on. They spent a lot of time talking about their plans for today before the dinner. Lizzie told her dad about her goals to finish her work for her internship by the end of the day. Just like her sisters, he too was curious and interested to hear more about what she did for work. As for her dad, apparently he and the rest of the family were going to do some kind of tour in London. Mary’s idea probably.

They were in the middle of discussing the plans for her staying over at their Airbnb Friday night when she caught some movement at the corner of her eye. Lizzie turned away from her phone screen as Eric touched her arm. As he called for her attention, she turned off her phone and put it down beside her on the bed.

She did not expect him to change his mind. It was the last thing she ever thought he would do, especially after what happened yesterday. So when he told her that he was going with her to her family dinner - without her ever once needing to convince him otherwise - she was dumbstruck. How did he manage to skip over needing to be convinced without ever speaking to her once about it? Her disbelief showed. She felt like a broken record asking him over and over if he was really sure about this. He didn’t have to go through with this. He knew this. She wasn’t going to pressure him.

She seemed to have skipped over the fact that he did want to do this...for her. Had she paid attention, she would have thought back to her talk with her dad and how she needed to tell Eric how she felt about him going to dinner. Sorry, Lizzie was too stuck on the detail that he was going. That was until he pulled her onto him, then she wasn’t stuck on any thoughts.

There was a hunger in their kiss. It was not just from Lizzie. The moment their lips touched, she knew that he missed her as much as she had him. She finally had the touches she craved last night. As she bent her legs on either side of him to better support her weight, she put her hands on the sides of his face. The longer she kissed him, the higher they traveled until they were buried in his hair. She breathed moans into him with every surge of electricity from his touch. She missed this last night. And while she had been very aware of this fact then, it wasn’t until now did she realize just how much.

Her hands escaped his hair without her needing to pull away for air once. Who needed air when she could live off his touch and his taste? She dropped her hands flat against his chest then slowly slid them down until she reached the hem of his shirt. She needed to feel his skin; to have the butterfly under her fingertips. She didn’t want this stupid fabric in the way of their passion any longer.

She pulled his shirt off in one swift movement then tossed it to the end of the bed. After one more kiss on his lips, Lizzie trailed downward. She kissed past his chin down to his neck then to his collarbone. She kissed his swallows; first the right then the left. Then she teased him a little, trailing kisses back up to his neck as she grinded her hips against his. This was actually a very spur of the moment decision. She had intended to keep going down, but as her hand rested at the side of his neck, a blip of a thought came to her: she totally wanted to exact some revenge on him.

She giggled into every kiss she planted on the base of his neck, the very same spot her now fading hickey was located. The kisses started teasingly, slow and tender. But then her kisses grew more eager. Then, after he tilted his head while she licked up his neck with the very tip of her tongue, she returned to the spot from before and—

The alarm at the other end of the bedroom blared over the sounds of passion. Lizzie gasped. She froze as she turned her head to watch for any movement from the sleeping Ricki. Honestly, she completely forgot their third wheel roommate. As the alarm continued to blare without Ricki so much as tossing onto her other side, Lizzie brought her hand up to her mouth to stifle her giggles. Oh god, they had gotten so carried away this time.

As Ricki finally showed signs of waking up, Lizzie quickly scrambled off of Eric’s lap to return to her side of the bed. She could feel her face burning red. They were so lucky Ricki was such a heavy sleeper considering how much noise she made earlier. She already felt like dying every time someone in the flat teased them about whatever business they were up to in the bedroom.

“Let’s eat some breakfast while she works on waking up,” Lizzie suggested. She sat up to grab his shirt then climbed out of bed while he got dressed. As the alarm continued to blare for a moment more, she led the way out of the noisy bedroom to move into the common room. As they were technically the first to rise, they opened the double doors to begin the flat’s day.

Lizzie couldn’t keep her lips away from his for long. While they waited for the toaster to pop out their breakfast and for the water to boil, Lizzie stood between Eric’s legs while he sat on the stool, arms wrapped around his neck as she kissed him some more. They had so much making up to do from last night and she was going to take every opportunity to do it. But as much as she wanted to continue from where she was rudely interrupted by Ricki’s alarm, she wouldn’t dare try it in the common room. She fully subscribed to PDA...but not that much affection.

They managed to pull away from each other once Eric had his tea, Lizzie had her coffee and their breakfast was ready. She was still giggling over earlier, commenting to Eric that had the alarm not gone off they probably would have gotten caught by Ricki. They laughed. They talked. They were happy. They were okay.

Except, Lizzie had a thought poking at the back of her mind. Not just a thought, but also the memory of her talk with her dad last night. As Eric told her about rehearsals yesterday, she momentarily got distracted over the thought that she should not repeat the same mistake she made at the end of lunch. If Eric was going to accompany her to her family’s Thanksgiving dinner, he had to know everything.

“Hey babe?” she started, watching as he took a careful sip of his tea. “There’s something I need to tell you...about tonight.”

There was a strange look on Eric’s face, but it was only there for a split second before he turned to look at her. She didn’t focus too much on that though. What she had to tell him was more important now more than ever.

“Um…” she started slowly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Since you’re going now, I should give you a heads up that...um...my dad knows. About you. About us.” She watched his reaction carefully with bated breath, fearing that this would make him change his mind again. Instead, he asked for clarification. So Lizzie told him everything her dad knew about them.

“I promise, this doesn’t mean that you’re, like, forced to come now. I made it clear to my dad that above anything else, I take your opinions to heart. And I will go with whatever you want to do tonight. Go, not go, whatever. He’s...I’m not saying he’s not expecting you to come, but I promise he won’t hold it against you if you don’t. He knows how important you are to me, no matter how long we’ve been together.”

Eric took her by surprise when he spoke now. He asked her what she wanted. It was almost the same question her dad asked last night, but somehow she found it difficult to give him the same response. At least for a moment. After a deep breath, she looked deep into Eric’s eyes and said, “I would love it if you went tonight. My sisters really liked you. Izzy has an issue with you talking too slow for her liking, but she can deal. Despite what happened at the end, they enjoyed getting to know you. And I would really like for my dad to see what they saw.”

Despite all that Lizzie told him that morning, Eric still agreed to go to dinner tonight. After kissing him goodbye before he left for work, she immediately called her dad again to update him on all that happened. Okay, not all. Just that she and Eric talked and he changed his mind. With that stress now completely off her shoulders Lizzie found that she could now spend the rest of her morning as she intended, getting work done.

By the time she took a seat in her class that afternoon, the nerves finally started kicking in. She was actually going to introduce her boyfriend of two weeks to her dad. This was the shortest time she ever dated anyone before taking him to meet her family. Well, actually she had only one other person to compare this timeline to: Brandon. She dated him for about two months before she introduced him to her dad. As confident as she had been last night talking to him about Eric, she got lost in doubt. Was this a good idea after all? Was she leading Eric into the lions den? Did her dad have some ulterior motive going into this dinner now? Would he approve of Eric?

Lizzie tried her best to hide her nerves when Eric met her at their connecting train back to the flat. She played it off as excitement as they boarded their next train and found a couple seats. She wouldn’t stop talking. When she wasn’t catching him up on how her day went since he left the flat this morning, she was updating him on the plans for tonight. As if he didn’t already know all this beforehand.

Upon returning to the flat, Lizzie and Eric went to work getting ready for dinner with her family. Since Ricki was home from school, they had to divide and conquer. Eric claimed the bathroom while Lizzie remained in the room. She switched out of the sweater and jeans she wore to school today for a long sleeve blouse, black skinny pants and heels. The coat she pulled out of the wardrobe now hung from the hook at the back of the door.

She just finished touching up her make up and fixing her hair into a half ponytail when Eric returned to the room now dressed as well. A smile spread across her face instantly. “Well you look nice! It’s always fun to see you in something other than your work uniform...or black,” she teased. “I need to take you out often!”

“Okay, I need your opinion on something?” she asked as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and turned away from the mirror to face him. “Scarf or no scarf? Do you think I concealed the love bites well enough that my dad won’t want to kill you?” Her tone was half teasing, but she was also very serious. Even though the first hickey was now starting to fade, she still felt self-conscious that they were not hidden well enough.​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112218-----------❖ LOCATION — the restaurant-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie and the darcys
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

While Eric's conscious wanted to watch her; wanted to take in every feature of hers and every move she made, he actually had little control over himself right now and his eyes shut as his breaths grew heavy. A slight shudder, mostly of excitement, ran through him as her fingers found skin and her lips made their way down his neck to his now shirtless chest. He didn’t know what to do with himself. Part of him was a little starstruck, frozen in place and not wanting this to ever end. That part of him just wanted to lay there completely complacent to her every desire. But the other part was just as needy and demanding as she was and it was that part of him that had his hands grabbing at her and fighting against the fabric that separated her from him. If she got to take off his shirt then he should get to do the same. It’s only fair, right?

But Eric didn’t make it that far. His hands were on her exposed lower back when this strange uncomfortable feeling began to creep in as she focused on his neck. It all felt amazing but he was beginning to feel the artery in his neck pulsing against her hand as his heart raced with nervous anticipation. It took him a moment to relax. He couldn’t tell if it was a tickling sensation or something else— though honestly he didn’t put any thought into it to figure that out— Eric’s body was ever so slightly trying to squirm away while his arms conflictingly pulled her tighter against him. He loved this. This felt great. But his chest was constricting and that pressure was slowly making its way up his body. It was almost like a timelapse of watching a window freeze. The frost gathering along the four corners and edges before working its way in toward the center to completely cover the glass.

As it neared his throat his head leaned back, not wanting her to stop and being powerless to tell her to even if he had wanted her to. It was honestly one of the most confusing feelings he had ever experienced. Sort of like when your leg is asleep. It’s easier to just leave it be rather than deal with the pins and needles pain, but you know that if you move it or hit it to get the blood circulating then eventually it will clear up and stop hurting. His body was slowly seizing on him, falling asleep if you will….and while he knew he wanted— no he needed Lizzie, Eric didn’t know if he was strong enough to stick through the pain to reach a happy end.

His grip on her tightened still, his breath catching in the bottom of his throat. There was no space left between them now as his own hips rode up to meet hers, his back arching as her tongue now teased along his already sensitive neck and getting yet another soft moan out of him as his body pressed against her while his head tried to turn away from her touch. God this was torture.

While the alarm startled Lizzie, Eric didn’t hear it right away and a needy whine escaped him when she suddenly stopped all movement. His eyebrows knitted together in frustration as his body tried to remind him to breathe.

No...come back...don’t stop…

Eric took in a quick breath, fully expecting her to resume at any second, but she wasn’t...why wasn’t she? He wanted so badly to just pull her back down against him. Maybe now he could finally rid her of the sweater she had fallen asleep in. Maybe he could use this pause to switch things up before his mind exploded from the sensory overload that came from all the stimulation on his neck. Maybe he could turn the tables again like before and give himself a turn to drown her in love. Let her struggle beneath him instead while he knocked down the wall between too much and not enough.

When at last his eyes opened and transported him back to the present the noise finally reached his ears and Eric craned his neck ever so slightly to look over towards the other bed as well. Oh right...Ricki was here. He had honestly completely forgotten about her. The other night her presence had sort of spurred him on. The risk of being caught became a bit of a turn on and had added an element of danger to their love. But that had been late at night, in the dark, and when they could sneak around and attempt to be as quiet as they could because they weren't expecting Ricki to interfere otherwise. But now it would only be a matter of time until that alarm woke their roommate and she would clearly see the couple’s intimate antics.

Eric sighed as he let his head drop back against the pillow while Lizzie climbed off of him. The come down from the high she gave him was hard and he let his eyes relax while he ran through his hair that she had gotten all tousled up. He was a little oblivious to Lizzie melting into almost embarrassment beside him while he himself just focused on calming back down to normal. Or as normal as he could achieve while still in Lizzie’s presence. Did she have any idea how much power she had over him? She had him in the palm of her hand. It didn’t matter if it was a kind hand of compassion or a cruel one waiting to crush him. Eric would take anything from her and still beg for more. She was literally everything to him. So when Lizzie suggested they go eat, Eric quietly got to his feet to follow her out.

His body was still warm, his shirt rubbing uncomfortably against it even after he pulled the fabric down over him. It had him fidgeting with the bottom hem, trying to circulate air up under his shirt until Lizzie eventually came over to still his hands. While Lizzie held his hands quiet, Eric leaned in to kiss her. Gently at first, but as his knees parted on the stool to make space for her and she followed his lead to step in between them, his kiss gained a hunger to it and he couldn’t stop. When she released his hands to wrap around his neck, his own hands found her tiny body to hold instead. From where her height came up to him on the stool, his hand first looped just below her hips, but that wasn’t enough for Eric. That wasn’t where he wanted to be, not really. He let his hands trail higher, one stopping at the first touch of skin above her waistband while the other continued up under her clothes to rub ever so slowly against her upper back and occasionally slipping to the side along her ribcage.

This was nice. This felt right. This wasn’t at all intoxicating or suffocating like it had been getting in the bedroom. This was relaxing and he could feel both his heart rate and body temperature slowly drop as he relaxed into Lizzie. It was like after all that in the bed, his feelings had had nowhere to go. He had been a little anxious in the kitchen. His body was desperate for more after being cut off so suddenly— but it was better now. This was his cool down stretch after going for a run. He needed this now to bridge his two worlds; his perfect Lizzie world and then the other one without her. He was about to go to work and wouldn’t see her for almost nine hours. He hadn’t gotten to be with her at all last night. And then tonight they now had this dinner. There was no telling how long that would go or what the outcome would be. He needed this moment here with her more than anything.

It was easier to physically detach himself from her now when it came time to eat. He had gotten his fix, or at least a strong enough dose to tide him over until they would next be alone together. But even though he wasn’t holding or kissing her, his knee still stayed in contact with hers under the table of the kitchen island. Everything was absolutely perfect right now and nothing would be able to ruin this morning for them. But then Lizzie’s words took a slightly serious tone as she mentioned needing to tell him something. This could go a number of ways. Did she just want to warn him about her father like she had about Izzy? Was there some Darcy family secret he was about to be exposed to that she wanted to tell him in advance?

Actually, did he even want to know what she was about to tell him? Was this her trying to give him yet another out? Why did she keep trying to change his mind? Eric was just so scared that if she kept asking that soon enough he would take her up on it and run away from it all. Did Lizzie not understand how unstable he was right now? How hard it had been to push himself to do all this for her and her family? None of this came naturally to Eric. He was going against every fiber in his body by agreeing to meet her father. If she said one more thing about it—

”...my dad knows. About you. About us.”
Yeah, no that was exactly what he was afraid of. What he didn’t want to hear. He didn’t want to be given options right now. He didn’t trust himself to make the right decision on his own. He needed Lizzie to make them for him.

Eric’s mind shot back to last night when he had been going on about how confused he was about what they were doing. How he had more or less been under the impression that Lizzie didn’t want him to meet her father. Now she was assuring him that her father wasn’t expecting anything of him but that didn’t make the matter any better. Don’t take him too literally, but Eric really could care less what her father wanted right now. This whole ordeal had morphed into something so much bigger than just worrying about her father’s opinions. Even if this dinner happened and her father ended up hating him well, at least Eric could say that he had tried. Because in the end her father wasn’t what was important to him, Lizzie was. And it was his selfish love for her that helped him refocus back into the kitchen with her now. He swept away as much of those cluttered thoughts as could and just stared in silence at Lizzie for a long moment. His eyes searched hers as he tried to find the answer to his question before even asking. But Lizzie was hard to read right now. Her concern for him was so evident, she seemed to be on the edge of her seat for his response...did she think he was going to back out now?

When the moment ended he audibly inhaled before he could speak. Lizzie was forever taking his breath away and he found it so incredibly difficult to take in both her and oxygen at the same time, ”What do you want love?”
What did she want him to do? He had already told her when they first woke up that he was willing to go. Admittedly that was before she had revealed this update to the situation, but Eric’s words stayed true. If she wanted him to go, then he’d go. If she wanted him to meet her father under the pretense that they were dating, then he’d meet her father. But if she was having any second thoughts about it then he wouldn’t be hurt if she said she wanted him to actually stay home. Lizzie deserved the world and if the only way her world could be complete was through this dinner then he would go.

”I’ll go,” he repeated back those two words from earlier. Eric’s hand reached out to her now, his palm up and inviting Lizzie’s hand to join in. After she did, and his fingers interlaced with hers, he gave her hand the lightest of squeezes as he pulled it closer while he leaned into her. A kiss to seal the deal and shut her up before she kept trying to tell him that he didn’t have to go if he didn’t want to. That’s where she was wrong. He did have to go. He had to do this for her. When he had asked her for “one day” she complied, and while it didn’t stick and the fallout had been pretty terrible, she was still willing to do that for him. Here she was asking for her “one day” to be today, and as scared as that made him, he didn’t have an option. Not really. It felt pretty now or never, like if he didn’t go to dinner then he would never again get the opportunity and Lizzie would spend forever wishing that he had gone.

Even after agreeing to go to dinner, twice now in the same morning, the thought of it still consumed him all day long at work from the moment he left the flat to walk to the station. His first order of business once he reached the hotel was to text the troupe’s current director and explain that he wouldn’t be attending rehearsal tonight. He got a little backlash this time. Eric had a hunch it was in jest but it was a little hard to tell someone’s tone of voice over text. It was during this encounter that had Eric wondering if he was making the right choice. It wasn’t exactly that he was questioning the troupe vs. the Darcys. It wasn’t that clear cut. It was definitely a whole debate of his priorities though— of what was truly important to him. But no matter how he ranked things, no matter what circumstances he came up with, Lizzie always ranked first on his list.

He didn’t text Lizzie as often as he usually did. Part of him was honestly a little nervous to engage her in real conversation right now. He was so scared that their discussion from that morning would reopen. If she asked him if he was sure...if she told him he didn’t have to go….if she in any way offered to cancel tonight, Eric was pretty sure he would take it. If her nerves were as anxious as his then there would be no way he could stick through it. If she seemed hesitant to commit to this now then the glue would surely crack and Eric would crumble and give in. So Eric kept his texts fairly bare minimum, like how when they first started and he would sneak in a quick sentence in the breakroom. He told her when he got to work, he always did. He told her when he heard someone call her name; there had been a little girl running around whose name apparently was also Lizzie. He complained to her when he was tired. And he complained to her when his workload got doubled by that overbearing American family staying at the hotel. He told her when it was his lunch break and what he was eating. He told her when he was getting pulled to restaurant duty so he might not be able to talk anymore. And then he of course told her when he was leaving. He always told her when he was leaving. It seemed like they talked all day, but it was really always just more like old Facebook status updates in passing rather than actually talking with her. It was less the content of each text that was important though and more so the reasoning behind them. Eric texted her when it all got to be too much. When he was feeling overwhelmed by it all and needed her to pull him back. He just needed them to be normal and unaffected by all the stress so he could take a step back with each text and just breathe. He didn’t have her here with him so this was the best he could do.

When they did finally reunite to commute home he could feel all his worries latching back on one by one, but he was able to ignore them by listening to the sound of Lizzie’s voice. It should be highlighted though that he was ignoring these worries rather than them actually going away. They were all nibbling at him like toothless piranhas the entire ride home and even after they had reached the safety of their bedroom. It wasn’t until he returned from changing in the bathroom that they finally left. They weren’t gone for good, but the second his eyes landed on Lizzie each one of those gummy piranhas released him all at once and dropped to the floor.

She was really out here trying to give him a respiratory disorder or something with how often she stole his breath away. He let out a short exhale, trying to collect himself and not be too obvious that he was still standing in the doorway just staring at her. Well...more like admiring. Adoring. Cherishing. Worshiping. Savoring each second that was just him alone with the most beautiful girl in the world.

Calm down Eric, it’s just a family dinner, she’s not even all dolled up for you yet.

But seeing her now and in comparison to himself, those inadequate feelings of not deserving her woke up from their nap. She looked stunning and he...well no matter how good she told him he looked, he still felt like nothing next to her. But...isn’t that also sort of how it was supposed to be? Like dancing for example, didn’t the man always dress down and keep it simple to show off how extravagant his partner was? But it didn’t exactly ease his insecurities. He didn’t want to go into this with her family seeing that Lizzie, little miss looking like £1,000, just brought her “whatever boy” to dinner.

Eric wasn’t completely shot down. He knew his shirt was nice, his skinny black pants were clean and free of holes, he knew he looked fine. It was just...was fine good enough?

The scarf question brought his head back down to earth and he blinked out of the daze she had charmed him into, ”I dunno…” He noted the worry that crossed her face as he started and she glanced back to the mirror to double check her concealer but Eric was too enamored with her and just loved to tease. He had crossed the room to her, stepping carefully around the piranhas on the floor, and took his place standing just behind her. His arms wrapped around to hold her against him while he leaned down to the side of her neck when he had left his marks. Eric’s eyes watched her in the mirror as he spoke, ”The scarf might not even be enough~”

She pulled back as she sensed his loving threat and turned to face him, ready to go off on some warning about how she had just finished her make up and he wasn’t allowed to mess it up and such. Especially not for another bite of his love. No appetizers before dinner. But Eric just smiled, laughing at her reaction and pressing her tighter against him to kiss her. A normal, honest, sweet, innocent kiss, ”No scarf. You don’t need it, love.”

Her point about her father was definitely threatening. He was scared enough to meet the head of the Darcy family without this added level. But he didn’t want her to cover up. He understood why she had been wearing the scarf, and he knew he was completely at fault for it, but he didn’t want her to. She could use all the makeup in the world if she wanted, he didn’t care. He didn’t mind not seeing his lovebites, she could cover them all she wanted. But he still wanted to see her, and that scarf had been blocking his view all week.

He kissed her again, he couldn’t help himself. But this time it was oh so slow and even when he finally pulled away he pulled at her lower lip and then just stayed there a mere breath away from her face, ”Don’t wear it…” His voice was so soft now, the innocence fading into desire, ”I want to see you— all of you…”

They took an Uber to the restaurant, courtesy of and by insistence of Lizzie’s father. Though of course he had thought he was only sending his youngest a ride and that her plus one would meet them there. Sitting in the back of the car, Eric’s hand rested towards the inside of Lizzie’s thigh. Honestly he was sort of a mess right now. His feelings for her were skyhigh, but the piranha worries had reattached themselves on his way out of the flat and he didn’t really know what to do with them. In fact he was so lost in thought that it wasn’t until Lizzie placed her hand on his that he realized she had said anything— oh they were here.

Their driver had dropped them off to the side of the entrance and out of any sight line from the windows. But when Lizzie took his hand to lead him over his feet held fast and Eric didn’t budge. She whipped around so fast to check in on him, her ponytail brushing against his chest but Eric didn’t even notice it as he focused down at their joined hands. He didn’t have an answer when she asked what was wrong, not at first anyways. It was a little late to back out now. And he didn’t even want to. He wanted to go through with this for her. It was just now that he was literally steps away it was all feeling like too much.

She had moved directly in front of him now, ”Uhm...what if— “

”I can’t— “ No, try one more time Eric, you got this, ”Sorry…” Okay, no...you’re gonna have to try again. His eyes were on their feet, Lizzie patient as ever waiting nervously for him to confess whatever it was that was holding him back now, ”I just don’t want to let you down— or your family— or be some big fucking dissappointment— “

The piranhas had grown teeth in the Uber and pushed Eric to spiral into this mini nervous breakdown despite how thoroughly he and Lizzie had discussed just about everything that had to do with tonight. He took a shaky breath while Lizzie spoke now, her voice shining a light back on the situation while her hands went about easing his anxieties in their own way. He watched her now as she adjusted the clasp of his necklace peeking out of his neckline. Then she straightened out his collar, and all the while talking, her hands finally traveled up to pull the long forgotten hair tie out to release the bun he had worn at work. She ran her fingers through it then, styling how she liked while assuring him for the millionth time that it would be fine.

Yes, it would be fine. He was being silly. There was nothing to be worried about. What had happened to all that confidence from back at the flat about how he didn’t care what her father thought? Lizzie was right here with him. It was just her family, most of whom he had already met. It wasn’t like she was asking him to skydive or something actually terrifying.

It didn’t take much for Lizzie to break through to him, really they just needed to get inside. It was the anticipation that was killing him now and the longer they waited the harder it would be to fend off the next wave of nerves. So after taking a moment to collect himself, Lizzie blessed him with a kiss for bravery and took his hand for courage before the couple finally entered the restaurant where the desk host was quick to point them in the direction of their reserved table where literally all seven Darcys already sat waiting for them. Were they late? Did he make them late?? No they couldn’t have been outside for more than five minutes. And her father had ordered the Uber so it’s not like they had left late on their own accord. They left when their ride got there. So maybe they were a little late, but it wasn’t any fault of theirs. Still Eric gripped her hand tight as they approached the table together.

When it came time for greetings and introductions, Eric did so with a steady handshake, a smile, and not at all as though just a minute ago he had been outside on the verge of disappearing to live under a rock for the rest of eternity. Honestly it all was running smoothly, at least since her father knew it all now, there was no awkward pressure of having to pretend like he was meeting her sisters for the first time. So he was able to give them a more casual hello instead of shaking seven hands today— well, six hands. Liam was a little small for handshaking. But as Lizzie tried to introduce him to the toddler, Eric automatically dropped down to lower his intimidating height closer to Liam’s eye level, ”Hello Liam, it's very nice to meet you,” His movement had broken his contact with Lizzie and his hand now reached into the pocket of his jacket. It wasn’t that Eric had intended to keep this a secret from Lizzie, just after battling the vicious cycles of his anxiety all day, he had actually completely forgotten until now, ”I brought you a little something…” That he had stopped by the toy store in hopes that just in case this ended up a giant disaster, that he could leave a good impression on at least one Darcy.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112218-----------❖ LOCATION — the restaurant-----------❖ COMPANY — eric & her family
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

After a momentary hiccup outside the restaurant, Lizzie took a deep breath then pulled the door open to head inside. There was no turning back now. Her family was watching.

As one of the few larger parties tonight, their table was set up against the wall opposite the windows. Lizzie walked in the general direction the desk host pointed her while repeating what he said in her head. She didn’t need to repeat his instructions for too long. As soon as they turned the corner past the waiting area where many other parties were waiting for a table, she caught sight of the only table with more than four people. Not to mention the all too familiar bright blonde hair of her three year old nephew who still had his back to her.

The only one to walk up and greet them was her dad. While one hand still held Eric’s, her free arm outstretched toward him for a hug. Her dad went into momentary parenting mode as he commented that she looked nice tonight and asked if the Uber to the restaurant was okay. Lizzie was quick to thank him for the Uber ride and then joked that she probably would have died from blisters if she and Eric took the train and then had to walk from the station.

Speaking of Eric. As she squeezed her boyfriend’s hand reassuringly, Lizzie pulled away from her dad to stand at Eric’s side. With a bright smile, she said, “Daddy, this is Eric. Eric, this is my dad.”

“So you’re the boyfriend I’ve heard a lot about,” her dad said with a wink in her direction as he outstretched his hand for Eric to shake. Okay. So far so good. As Lizzie turned away from the two, she peeked over at her sisters to find they too were watching the exchange.

Despite the mini panic attack Eric had a moment ago outside the restaurant, he seemed to be doing quite well now. Lizzie was starting to believe that she made the right choice last night by calling her dad and telling him the truth. She couldn’t even imagine what tonight would have looked like had she still kept him in the dark. First off, did she really expect Eric and her sisters to pretend like tonight was their first meeting? She was sure Eric could have pulled off the act, but she just didn’t have that same confidence in her sisters. And then there was the fact that she would have brought her boyfriend to tonight’s dinner without her dad knowing. She was really about to throw him in the deep end without a life jacket.

Once Lizzie and Eric said their hellos to her sisters, she led him to the other side of the table where Emma sat. She first introduced Eric to her brother-in-law Owen, who did his best to lighten Eric’s mood as they shook hands. After all, he went through the same situation years ago. If there was anyone that could relate to the nerves and stress Eric was probably feeling right now, it would be Owen.

And then, there was one last person Lizzie needed to introduce to Eric. By now Liam had been taken out of his high chair at the head of the table to greet her. The little one acted as if he hadn’t just seen her last Sunday the way he hugged her leg tight. It was obvious though that her nephew hadn’t exactly registered Lizzie wasn’t alone. Because as soon as his head turned to look up at her with a toothy smile, the smile faltered when his gaze stopped short at Eric. She felt Liam’s grip on her leg tighten slightly, looking down at him just as he hid his face.

“Sorry, he started getting shy around strangers,” she explained to Eric while her free hand moved to take Liam’s little arm and pull him away from her leg. “Hey bubs, do you wanna meet my friend? I promise he is very nice! And I told him so much about you!” She felt a little resistance from her nephew as she tried once again to pull him off her leg. But after a third attempt she got him to release his grip to stand in front of the both of them. “Eric, this is my nephew, Liam. Liam, this is Eric. He’s a very special friend of mine.”

While the rest of her family watched as Eric knelt down to Liam’s eye level, Lizzie watched her family. Emma and Owen shifted their gazes from the two boys, waiting for whatever reaction their son would give. She caught Izzy and Mary exchanging glances from across the table. And Jane and her dad watched Eric, only Eric. As she returned her gaze to the boys, she watched as Eric pulled something out of his jacket pocket. It was a plush toy of a pig in a red dress—“PEPPA PIG!”

Liam was practically beaming with excitement just like when Lizzie gave him one of Eric’s birthday balloons last Sunday. Behind Lizzie, she could have sworn she heard or sensed some kind of collective sigh of relief from her family. Or maybe it was just her feeling relieved that Eric managed to get through to her nephew. But apparently Eric wasn’t done yet. As soon as Liam focused on the Peppa Pig plush toy, Eric dug into his other jacket pocket to pull out...another plush toy. This one looked similar to Peppa Pig only it was smaller and wore a blue shirt. “THAT’S GEORGE!” Liam rejoiced. “Lithie! Look! It’s Peppa and George!”

A short laugh escaped her as she watched Liam take the plush toys from Eric. Emma came up behind Liam now, urging him to watch his manners. “What do you say to Eric?” she asked.

Liam looked from his mom to Eric as if remembering he was still there. “Thank you,” he said quickly then returned his attention back to his new toys.

“Going after the youngest member of the family. Smart,” Izzy teased as everyone returned to their seats at the table.

“When did you have time to go to the store and get those?” Lizzie asked as she shrugged off her coat and hung it over the back of her seat. She took the chair next to Liam - upon the child’s request - which put Eric between her and Mary. With Emma and Owen directly opposite them, Eric got what he asked for from their talk that morning. Both her dad and Izzy were far away from him.

As soon as everyone took their seats, a waiter arrived ready to take drink orders while they decided what to eat. Lizzie placed a hand across Eric to his thigh furthest from her as they poured over the drink menu together.

Conversation began lightly around the table while they browsed their menus to figure out what to order and wait for their drink orders to arrive. Everyone was eager to tell Lizzie about the tour they took that morning. Occasionally they would bring Eric into the conversation, mostly to ask if he has ever gone to the sights they visited on their tour. They also asked about Lizzie’s day, to which she told them about her afternoon class. Jane commented that had they known her schedule today, she could have gone with them, but Lizzie countered that she had too much work to catch up with for school and work and how she wanted to get all of it done by the time she went over to their Airbnb tomorrow night.

In-between conversations though, Lizzie found her attention being forced away from her dad and sisters to focus on Liam. Ever since Eric gave him the plush toys, Liam’s been talking nonstop about the show. It surprised Lizzie just how much her nephew knew about the cartoon. Wasn’t Peppa Pig mostly an English thing? When she asked Emma how Liam knew so much about Peppa Pig, the answer was honestly kind of simple. He became fascinated with the show after watching it at Lizzie’s flat while the adults were talking. “Ever since then, that’s all Liam’s wanted to watch back at our Airbnb whenever he gets iPad time.”

“That’s actually what he was watching after we got seated earlier,” Owen chimed in, grabbing his phone off the table with a side glance at his son. He was still preoccupied talking Eric’s ear off about some episode he watched where Peppa and George played in muddy puddles. Apparently Peppa loves muddy puddles, accent and all. It was actually kind of adorable listening to Liam attempt an English accent without realizing he was doing it.

Eventually though, Liam’s constant chattering about his new obsession with Peppa Pig needed to be redirected to another adult when Lizzie’s dad focused the topic of conversation on Eric. Just like lunch yesterday, her dad asked Eric to tell him a little about himself. By this time, Lizzie was once again holding his hand under the table. She could feel his grip tightening as soon as her dad focused on him. Luckily for Eric though, he didn’t go into this conversation alone. He now had the other Darcy sisters at his corner. They chimed in with general starters along with their thoughts on it so that Eric could have a little time to relax and collect his thoughts. Lizzie listened carefully just in case she needed to jump in for the rescue if Eric ever needed it. But like yesterday, after they got past some of the basic information, they spent a lot of time on his theatre work. “So,” Lizzie’s dad started, “theatre is more than a hobby for you? Do you have plans to make a living out of it?” Lizzie once again felt her hand being squeezed under Eric’s grip. She reached for her wine glass and took a careful sip.

Before Lizzie knew it, they were now halfway through dinner and the talks around the table split into groups. Lizzie and Eric - although it was mostly Eric - were once again pulled back to focusing mostly on Liam. Earlier it had been a struggle to get the little boy to touch his food because he wanted nothing more than to play with his new toys and talk about Peppa Pig. They even had to watch as Emma and Owen took matters into their own hands, grabbing the toys away from Liam to tell him that he can play with them once he’s done eating. Suffice it to say, the neighboring tables were a bit uncomfortable by the small tantrum Liam gave as he tried to reach for his toys which were now in Owen’s hands. But eventually, after Emma talked to her son enough to calm him down, Liam agreed to his mom’s bargain and let her feed him the pasta they ordered for him. Once he finished half of the food on his plate, Owen grabbed the plush toys from the table and handed them back to the boy. “Play? You be Peppa!” Liam requested, extending the Peppa plush to Eric. Yes, Eric.

Lizzie tried to suppress a laugh behind her free hand as she turned to look at Eric. “Do you wanna switch seats?” she asked, half jokingly.

Now that her boyfriend was otherwise occupied, this left Lizzie to jump into another group. “I told Daddy that we should have booked that train to Paris before we got here! But he wouldn’t listen,” Izzy was complaining now over half the salmon remaining on her plate. “So when we checked online to buy tickets, there weren’t enough seats for all of us.”

Lizzie watched as Izzy and her dad continued their minor blame game argument. Her dad, ever the patient man against his more spirited daughter, did his best not to spark the already dangerous flame. After some time though, Jane had to jump in to hold Izzy back from saying anything she would later regret. When Lizzie turned away from that conversation, she found Eric still in the middle of play time with Liam. According to Emma, Eric did a very convincing Peppa voice. But, like, how does Eric even know about Peppa Pig in the first place? And well enough to do the voice?

The table came back together around the end of the main course. Most of the table was unable to finish their meals and so their food sat in front of them while everyone talked. But after the waiter returned and tempted them all with desserts, individual conversations were put on pause while they all came back together. Mary had this funny story she wanted to tell Lizzie and Eric regarding something her dad did the day after they all arrived in London. Lizzie already heard some of this story, but for Eric’s sake she sat back into his arm resting on the back of her chair to listen again.

The story goes that while everyone else was either tackling jet lag or finalizing activities for the trip, Lizzie’s dad went off on a supply run for their Airbnb with Mary and Owen. Apparently, he had this crazy idea that instead of going out to a nice restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner like they planned, he could attempt a Thanksgiving dinner at their Airbnb. They had a very nice kitchen after all and surely, England has turkeys. Except, since it wasn’t an actual holiday around this time, England didn’t have turkeys. Or much of the other ingredients needed for a Darcy family Thanksgiving feast. At this point, the story was put on pause so that Mary - with the help of their dad - could explain to Eric what is part of a Darcy family Thanksgiving feast.

“You can just see Daddy growing more and more, like, upset over the whole turkey thing,” Mary continued, laughter permanently etched at the corners of her mouth. “And let me point out that all of this was happening without Lizzie knowing anything. I think she was, like, at work or something? So I’m thinking to myself that I should probably let her know just in case she calls somewhere to set up a reservation before we visited on Sunday.”

There was a bit of laughter around the table, including Lizzie’s dad although his was not as full as some of the others. “Come on, sweetheart. I wasn’t that upset over it,” he defended.

Mary turned to look directly at him. “Daddy, you asked Owen if a whole chicken was a good enough substitute and whether you could even make stuffing for it.” Another round of laughter filled the table just as their waiter returned with another waiter helping carry their desserts and some take away boxes.

“Okay okay okay.” Lizzie’s dad looked bashful after being called out on his actions. “Obviously that didn’t work out, but you know your mother always says that it doesn’t hurt to try.” He waited for their desserts to be placed down on the table. As Lizzie handed Eric a clean spoon, her dad continued with, “So Eric? Obviously you guys don’t celebrate Thanksgiving like the U.S. Is there any holiday that is similar here? Some holiday or tradition here in England that welcomes the fall?” ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112218-----------❖ LOCATION — their bedroom-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

Eric was so incredibly relieved watching Liam light up at his gifts. After all the stress this past week or so had brought, he had really needed a win. Thank you Liam.

Once they sat down his body naturally turned in towards Lizzie a bit, his far leg crossed over to invade her bubble in an attempt to be as close to her as possible considering their current situation. Eric had actually never been to this restaurant himself before, and as he looked down at the drink menu between them he was reminded why. Everything was way out of his budget and he felt a heaviness settle in the bottom of his stomach. Typically when one is invited out to eat it implies that the host is paying, but Eric also did not want to assume nor take advantage of that and get something overly expensive. His hand had found Lizzie’s on his leg and while he didn’t move to hold it, he just lay his over hers and without even realizing it, began to ever so slightly press her against him. The pressure helped, and his thumb ran across the back of her hand while they quietly debated with one another over what to order.

Dinner started off bearable. He could easily answer all of the Darcy’s questions about London and even went on to make a couple suggestions when appropriate. He literally did this all the time at work anyways, Eric was terrific at playing host to tourists and had all sorts of random information about the sights in the city. It definitely made him appear more adventurous than he actually was, and he hoped that while he was helpful to them, that they wouldn’t start seeing him as this well traveled person. Because he wasn’t that. The only times he strayed from his routine were days he spent with Lizzie. The days he gave her tours and took her to the sights she wanted to see. Throughout all this, Eric did his best to look up when he talked, or make eye contact with the speakers. He really tried his hardest, but when it came to Lizzie he found he couldn’t look away. Any time Lizzie spoke, every ounce of Eric was giving her his full undivided attention and he just stared with all the love in the world. When she spoke he was able to forget where they were for that moment and would cling to each word wishing to drag it out for as long as possible.

When he wasn’t making small talk with the adults, Eric found himself talking with Liam despite the fact that Lizzie sat in between them. He wasn’t that well versed in Peppa Pig to be able to discuss her likes and dislikes the way Liam could, but he knew enough to play along. Eric knew how to piggyback onto a conversation to keep it going even if he had nothing to say, he was a decent enough actor to be able to improvise as they went.

It seemed like just about everything the three year old said brought a smile to Eric’s face and he was finally able to relax into his position here at dinner. The family existed, they spoke to him on occasion, but Eric was able to stay in his little bubble world with Lizzie and their little bubble tumor Liam— until her father burst that bubble. Eric hadn’t even realized his hand had found its way into Lizzie’s but he squeezed it as his own anxiety squeezed at his heart. Breathe Eric. You did this yesterday with Lizzie’s sisters, just say everything you told them. Actually, her sisters seemed fairly enthusiastic about showing off what bits they already knew, leaving Eric to mostly just clarify or go into detail about some parts of his self synopsis. Not a student, works at the hotel, didn’t grow up here, how he and Lizzie met— ”Oh wait, so how do you and Olivia know each other?”
Eric glanced to Mary at his side, a little caught off guard why Olivia was being brought into this. He had just finished explaining how he and Lizzie were introduced at Flat Night by their now mutual friend Olivia. Did it matter how he knew Olivia? Wasn’t this supposed to be about him and Lizzie? Well it wasn’t a big deal…
”We uhm, grew up together in Barking.”
Soon enough they were back to going down the bullet point details of his life including how he enjoys theatre is a talented writer deeply involved in theatre and working on a Christmas show that everyone is sad they won’t be able to see. No, no, no, why did her sisters have to go and paint his picture like that? He did not want all this attention being drawn to him right now. He didn’t want to be going into personal details of his life, couldn’t they just stick to chapter titles without actually reading them?

Eric froze as Lizzie's father asked about his plans for his future, his only movement was his fingers under the table tightening around Lizzie’s as though if he squeezed hard enough he could just skip over this question. Make a living out of theatre? In what world would that be possible for him? He had already given up on his future a long time ago. Eric’s life was dictated by money and would be for quite some time. Even if he ever managed to finish paying off this debt, what then? It wasn’t like he had any sort of savings to start his life fresh. He would still be stuck deep in poverty and living paycheck to paycheck just to survive. He wouldn’t suddenly be granted the luxury of being able to do what he wanted to do. It wasn’t like he could just jump back into school. And in order to do theatre full time he needed to be making money off it— which he currently wasn’t. He wasn’t making any money, not for himself anyways.

”Uhm, well I mean….that’s the dream, innit?” Eric had leaned back away from the table as he spoke, his free hand running through his hair nervously as he detached himself from the prospect of ever getting a happy future. Of ever getting to do something for himself. He had spent his entire life looking after his mum, and now even after she was gone he was still working on her behalf. What if she hadn’t died? What if he had gotten her help in time and had been able to stay in school? Would he be a successful playwright by now? Would he be “making a living out of it”? Or would he still be working absurd hours trying to support his new independent life? Eric hated wondering about what could have been, it just filled him with regrets and second guessing every single decision he had ever made. Like maybe he shouldn’t have come to this dinner after all….maybe it really was too early and he should have stood up for his own comfort level rather than subjecting himself to do any and everything just to make Lizzie happy.

Eric was eternally thankful for Liam for giving him an acceptable distraction. It wouldn’t have been okay to just zone out, or dodge questions that cut too close. But anytime Liam pulled his attention away the family didn’t fight to keep him talking and let the topic drop while he saw to the child. Everything felt easier when he was able to just focus solely on Liam. Liam didn’t care what he did for a living. Liam didn’t care that Eric had basically just been portrayed as a starving artist; working full time for the near unattainable dream of success in the entertainment industry. Liam didn’t care that he talked slow or overused false starts and fillers in his sentences— although actually when he spoke with Liam the words all seemed to come easily. He didn’t stutter when he addressed Liam. He was able to make and hold eye contact and it all just felt so natural. He was more than happy to be involved in playtime, but Lizzie did have a point that it might be easier if they swapped seats. So they did. Eric put on a bit of a posh accent and forced his voice up an octave trying to imitate the little pig he now held in his hand while he got to escape from the Darcys.

But both playtime and eating both came to an eventual end but the conversation didn’t circle back to him, rather it seemed like the Darcys now wanted to share bitf of their own lives with him. It was nice at first. It was nice having the pressure taken off him and not feeling forced to be animated or make himself seem more interesting than he felt he was. But soon enough a different feeling engulfed Eric and try as he might he could not shake this new darkness.

Switching seats with Lizzie had put him at the end of the table and he could now physically feel the distance between him and the Darcys. They all got along so well. Everyone was so happy to tell stories of one another— of all these good memories they’d had that Eric honestly just could not relate to. Preparing food together, having sit down family meals...everyone just connected so perfectly….like they had never experienced any sort of familial conflicts. The Darcys were perfect. Eric had never experienced anything like this before. Never with his mother or grandparents, and not even with the Thompsons. Dinners with Olivia’s family had a degree of normal to them, but he wouldn’t classify them as perfect. He knew the Thompsons’ downfalls. He had sat through Olivia’s parents scolding her for ruining her dress. A dress she had begged so desperately to not be forced to wear but her parents had insisted upon it. He had been there while her mother compared Olivia to her younger sister and asking why she couldn’t behave properly like Diana. The Thompsons were far better than his own family, but they paled in comparison to this. Eric was sure Lizzie’s father had never once said a single cruel word to anyone at this table, and it was making him hot.

This rage wasn’t intended to be directed at Mr.Darcy, oh no, not at all. Like most of Eric’s troubles, he blamed his mother now for this uncomfortability he found himself in. Eric was overheating now and honestly feeling a little dizzy despite the fact that they were all seated. He shifted in his seat, his hand abandoning Lizzie’s in his lap to reach past his wine glass for the water in desperate hopes that it would cool him off and give him something else to focus on.

It did neither.

Eric could recognize now that those panicked feelings from before were taking over and he ruffled his hair after returning his water to the table. He just needed to keep busy. He needed to find things to focus on instead of how hot it was sitting here watching this picture perfect loving family in front of him. He didn’t belong here. He felt that so strongly now. The Darcys were lovely, dinner had been nice, he had survived and honestly felt as though it had gone well, but he did not belong here. This was not his world, and who did he think he was trying to be a part of it?

He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck clinging to his skin when he turned his head to follow this turkey story. Eric was forcing a laugh at the appropriate moments. He felt so trapped here now and thinking about how they still had to get through dessert just made him sick. God it was so hot— suddenly seven pairs of eyes were trained on him as Lizzie’s father addressed him from across the table and Eric could honestly throw up.

”Oh…” His mind raced, repeating the question over and over again in his head as though he hadn’t understood it the first time. A holiday similar to Thanksgiving? Wasn’t American Thanksgiving a celebration of Native American genocide? Or was it about family or freedom or some very American concept that the rest of the world didn’t partake in? Honestly Eric didn’t understand Thanksgiving. It basically sounded like Christmas without the presents. But it always seemed like such a big deal when he spoke with American guests at the hotel anytime in November. Maybe one day he’d actually know what the holiday was all about. So in regards to a holiday “like” Thanksgiving, Eric didn’t really know, but the second part of Mr.Darcy’s question was doable, ”We uhm... there's the Harvest Festival I suppose? It was in September this year...” It was September 23rd to be exact. The day Eric had returned to Barking. As if he wasn’t already drowning in his own mind, he suddenly found himself getting really anxious about the subject and he shifted nervously in his seat beside Lizzie. He hadn’t been around the flat for that week. Was Lizzie even aware of the holiday? Would her family ask her if she had done anything to celebrate it? Did she know it had been that week? Would she think back to it now and realize that while she had been at the flat, he had been working through the festival days? It wasn’t like the festival itself was important or symbolic, but just knowing now what had been going on in their lives at the time…”Uhm— there’s Sunday Roast too— “ He was quick to try and slightly change the topic. To try and draw attention away from the Harvest as he went on to explain essentially eating a “small Thanksgiving meal” every Sunday. His hotel’s restaurant was usually busiest for Sunday lunches.

Eric went on about this now, talking much faster than he had all night as he rambled on about British traditions, anything to keep from focusing on how he felt like he was about to pass out at any moment. This was all just so confusing for Eric. Honestly nothing bad had happened during dinner. He didn’t feel like there had been anything too difficult to get through and the Darcys were all very supportive and thoughtful in their questions and responses. He had absolutely no reason to suddenly be feeling the way he did, but it was only getting worse and worse until he finally couldn’t take it any longer.

The conversation had shifted and he wasn’t involved at the moment so he set down his spoon— he hadn’t even touched their dessert yet— and leaned in towards Lizzie so his voice didn’t travel, ”Love? The last time he had slipped away at a restaurant with Lizzie it had been to foot the bill in secret. But Eric didn’t dare let such a thought cross his mind this time. He knew without even counting that what little cash he had on him didn’t come anywhere near close to enough to cover even his own portion.

He mumbled in her ear that he was going to the bathroom, he needed to wee. And maybe he did after the wine and all the excess water he had downed, but the truth was that he needed a break. He needed to escape her perfect family and go somewhere where he wasn’t constantly under a microscope. He needed to go cool off, or throw up, or something. He just needed to get away for a minute. But then before he could stop himself he was kissing her goodbye. It was honestly by accident, an automatic reaction for him whenever they had to part for any reason. And it was meant to be quick, just a peck to say he would be right back, but his eagerness— no his desperation prolonged that peck just a second too long. See while it might have been more appropriate to kiss her cheek seeing as how they were in front of her entire family… Eric had gone on autopilot and kissed her on her lips. He needed her so badly right now, but immediately afterwards he realized what he had done and he quickly finished getting up to walk away from the table before anyone could comment on it or notice the color rising in his previously pale cheeks.

He almost didn’t make it to the bathroom. Eric felt so faint by the time he shut and locked the door behind him. His hands were shaking as he fumbled with the buttons on his shirt trying to ease the constriction around his chest; he couldn't breathe. Once his collar was completely freed he released the buttons around his wrists and hastily pushed his sleeves up to his elbows in a desperate attempt to cool off. This was a new feeling for him that spanned so much farther than just being uncomfortable, shy or even scared. Eric felt like he was dying.

After running both hands through his hair to lift it off his sweaty neck he came to a blinded realization that he needed Lizzie. He had never felt like this before but all the other times he had felt bad before, she made it right. She would be able to fix this— but after patting himself down he realized he hadn’t even brought his iPod to the restaurant. He had no need for it here after all, he was with Lizzie, if anyone else needed to contact him then they could wait until he got back because right now he was entirely devoted to his love and her family. Only they had driven him into the bathroom with his first ever true panic attack. If only he knew that that’s what it was.

Shit…

He clung to the edges of the sink, watching the water pouring from the faucet until eventually everything just….faded. His vision cleared up, his hands no longer shook, his heart had stopped racing, he was able to take a complete breath and he was suddenly just so overwhelmingly tired. Thinking back to the Darcys didn’t seem to bother him anymore, it was like he had gotten it all out of his system finally. The disconnect was still there. Being alone in the bathroom while they were all laughing over desserts was such an ostracizing feeling, but Eric had no one to blame but himself.

He did finally pee before he left. And took the time to splash water on his face, dry off and fix his shirt before stepping out to return to the Darcys. He did have to force himself to remember to breathe, pushing back his hair as he approached and pulled out his chair to sit back down. Had he been gone long? Honestly everything had happened so fast but by the looks of the table, everyone was just about done with their desserts, ”Sorry, there was a queue.” He took Lizzie’s hand in his as the first true lie he had ever told her escaped his lips. It was just a little white lie to cover up the horror he had just experienced.

When dinner was truly over and everyone was saying their goodbyes to Lizzie, Eric made a point to force himself over to thank Mr.Darcy for dinner. It was while they talked that Lizzie returned to his side and snuck her thin arms around his, Eric could feel what minimal energy he had left quickly depleting as he leaned in towards her.

Her father was now telling her that he would drop her off back at her flat but Lizzie was quick to insist that it was fine, she’d get back on her own, and pointed out that her flat was in the complete opposite direction of their air bnb. Mr.Darcy didn’t seem completely content with this though, talking about how it’s dark out now and he would feel better taking her himself, “I’ll take her home sir.”

Eric didn’t talk much the entire ride home. That’s not to say he was unresponsive though. He held his smile and nodded along, commented as needed when Lizzie spoke, but he didn’t add to the conversation. He didn’t have the strength left in him for that. Dinner itself had been fine. Her family had been fine. No one had pushed him about sensitive matters and he never felt looked down on or judged. None of his original fears about dinner had come to life and technically it was a major success all around. It was just that episode that had sent him to hide in the bathroom...the only negative experience he’d had with the whole thing was him scrutinizing himself for every single thing he had ever done. It was always so easy to blame all his problems on his mother, but was it all her fault?

”Babe?” Lizzie had just returned from the bathroom to find Eric exactly as she had left him. Sitting on the edge of their bed, still dressed up from dinner and just...sitting there. He looked up as she approached him, a soft smile forming on his face to push away his insecurities. It was over. Dinner was over and he’d never have to see her family again— well, for the time being anyways. He would be free from the pressure they’d put on him and he could stop comparing himself to them. Now he was back to the perfect world of just him and Lizzie where nothing else mattered and nothing else could touch them.

She had come right up to him, between his open legs much like she had that morning in the kitchen. Only the feeling was completely different. Where earlier Eric’s neediness was covered in lust, now there was just this indescribable weight to it. It couldn’t exactly be pinned down as any one emotion as he let his face fall into her chest while his arms wrapped around her. He really wanted to just stay like this forever. The last time he had felt this drained had been when he returned from Barking and collapsed into Lizzie much like he had now. He wasn’t sure which one of them he was trying to reassure as he mumbled into her shirt, ”Your family’s really nice….”

There was a pause between them then, as though neither really knew where to go from there until he adjusted his arms to tighten against her with the slightest tremble to his voice when he spoke next, ”....I love you....” They were safe here, just the two of them. Free from expectations or insecurities. Free to be weak and vulnerable without judgement. Eric had been so tough, all night, and it had taken all of him. His eyes shut against her as he swallowed back the lump threatening to form in his throat. It wasn’t that he was sad exactly, he was just so tired, ”...more than anything…” Eric would do anything for her. Anything.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112318-----------❖ LOCATION — outside the hotel-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
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---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

Now that they were no longer in the company of her family, Lizzie could finally entertain the true feelings she held back during dinner. She was worried about Eric. Ever since that kiss during dessert. While it was nice and got quite the response from her sisters, and even a little chuckle from her dad, something about it felt...off? No, that didn’t sound right. To Lizzie, any kiss from Eric was great and she accepted them when given. But his actions after had her concerned. And as they rode back to the flat in their Uber, Lizzie recalled back to that moment, watching Eric walk away to the bathroom without so much as looking back at her. He always at least glanced back at her whenever he left somewhere without her. As if he wanted to make sure she would still be there when he got back.

She became more worried during their ride back to the flat. She tried her best to lighten the mood between them. Dinner was finally over and he survived. She felt confident that he impressed her dad. Her family had to love him as much as she did, or at least really like him enough to approve of him. Not that she needed their approval to love him, but it was always nice when she and her family were on the same page over a guy she liked. But despite how much she tried to keep a conversation going with Eric, he just didn’t seem all that into talking to her. Did she do something wrong?

Back at the flat, Lizzie and Eric were greeted by Olivia. She eagerly asked how dinner went and Lizzie took the lead as she told Olivia that dinner had gone well. Eric had been the perfect gentleman and probably one of the best playmates to her nephew.

Lizzie liked to believe that after getting to know Eric these past few months she could read him well enough. He was no longer the locked up leather bound book he presented himself back in September when they first started to get to know each other. He was her open book now, or at least she hoped that was what he was to her now. She felt as if she could pick up on his various moods just by looking at him or watching how he acted around her. And she liked to believe that she has been pretty accurate.

As she and Olivia spoke, she could tell Eric didn’t want to be a part of this. He once again didn’t seem all that into wanting to talk to anyone. So with a squeeze of his hand, Lizzie offered her flatmate the excuse that she was going to go change out of her heels to allow them to leave the hallway and return to their room. Ricki was not in the room, but a round of laughter down the hall from the common room told Lizzie that she was home, but hanging out with the boys. As she kicked off her heels with a sigh of relief, Eric took a seat on their bed and made some comment that she could wash up first. After one quick look over at him, Lizzie decided not to say anything, simply nodding then letting him know that she would be right back. Maybe he could use this time to take a breath and unwind from whatever stress he felt during dinner.

But even after taking a quick shower and taking a detour to talk to the others, Lizzie found Eric in the same spot she left him near half an hour ago. Now she was very concerned that something must have happened earlier. “Are you okay?” she asked Eric as she approached him on the bed. He didn’t say anything, just looked up at her with the smallest hint of a smile on his face. This didn’t reassure her. While the corners of his mouth curled up into a smile, his eyes said something else. “Hey, talk to me?” she tried in a softer voice as she stopped right in front of him. She stood between his legs and reached a gentle hand to him to brush through his hair. That first touch got a reaction out of him. It wasn’t a verbal one though, but that was okay.

A soft intake of breath escaped Lizzie as she felt herself being pulled closer to Eric. Her arms instinctively fell around his shoulders. She could feel his head press against her chest with each breath she took. Without a single word between them, she could feel the neediness in him. And she didn’t dare say anything that could potentially ruin this moment. She just let him hold her while she ran her hands through his hair.

When he finally did speak, this feeling of protectiveness swelled up inside her. His voice just sounded so small and tired and it upset her that he felt this way after coming home from dinner. He must have worked so hard to keep a brave face in front of her family; to pluck up every last drop of energy he could to keep his head held high. Lizzie exhaled a sharp breath and bit down on her bottom lip. She felt terrible all over again. He never wanted to do this. He never wanted to be put in this situation from the very beginning. And yet she and the rest of the Darcys forced his hand. Stupid Emma had to say something about dinner at lunch yesterday. She felt stupid herself. She should never have been honest with him that morning. She should have just considered his feelings and told him what he wanted to hear despite his insisting that he wanted to do this. Obviously he didn’t. He wouldn’t be reacting this way if he didn’t.

But none of this was the right thing to say to him now. Nor ever really. There was no point dwelling in past events now. What’s done is done. They survived the dinner with her family and she believed it went well. And as he professed his love for her into her shirt, Lizzie looked down at him with a soft, tender smile on her face. She didn’t say anything back for a moment. She wanted to give him this moment of quiet peace to focus on their breathing and their beating hearts. She wanted him to feel like he was safe again as one hand rubbed his arm while the other continued to brush through his long hair. Just give this moment for him to remember that with her at his side, he will always be safe.

“Hey,” she said softly, pulling away slightly to place a hand under his chin and lift his gaze to her. “Thank you so much for tonight. I know it must have been hard for you. The last thing I ever wanted was for you to feel like you couldn’t be safe around me or my family.” Lizzie brought her hand off his chin to caress his cheek. “This really meant a lot to me.” As she brushed her thumb across his cheek, she leaned down to him to kiss him.

His kiss felt weak against her lips, but she didn’t let that get in her way. This kiss was more for him than it was for the both of them. As she moaned into the kiss, she moved so that her knees pressed down onto the mattress and forced Eric’s legs closed. Now he was between her legs as she pressed his body into hers and closed the last of the distance between them, both physically and emotionally. She wanted him to feel all her love pour into her every action. Whether it was the kiss or how she wrapped her arms around his shoulders then buried a hand into his hair again. Then as she felt his hands travel up her back under her shirt, she let out a quivering breath.

Lizzie didn’t dare let this moment go any further, as much as she wanted to. She would have loved to bring their bodies even closer together, but she knew through his kiss and his touch that this wasn’t the right time. With one last kiss, Lizzie pulled away slowly. She opened her eyes to find Eric’s own eyes looking back at her. How she loved those eyes so much. If anyone were ever to ask her what her favorite feature of Eric’s was, she would without a doubt say his eyes. They told her more than she could ever get out of him. And she loved how as they got to know more about each other they changed with him. Like how nowadays they looked more green to match the warmth that came from whenever he looked at her. The blue she fell in love with was still there and they still took her breath away whenever she saw them. She could get lost in his eyes forever.

“It’s getting late. Why don’t you take your turn to wash up and change, then we can go to bed.” Lizzie smiled down at him, brushing his hair out of his face. She then leaned into him to kiss him tenderly on his forehead. “How does that sound?”

While Eric was in the bathroom, Lizzie crawled into bed to wait. She had her phone with her, talking mostly to her sisters. They were quick to share all that had been said once she and Eric left to go home. For the most part, it seemed mostly positive. Her dad seemed to think Eric was a good guy. A little shy, but nothing that he needed to be concerned about. The only critiques Lizzie had to sit through were mostly from her sisters. They weren’t bad critiques, just observations they picked up on with this second meeting. Izzy seemed to have a bit of a problem with the way he spoke. Like Lizzie predicted the other day, Izzy picked up on the “uhms” quickly and commented that they can get very distracting after a point. Emma picked up on his nervous tic of running a hand through his hair. There were a couple others mentioned, but Lizzie reassured them that he wasn’t always like that. He was just nervous.

Lizzie put her phone away as soon as the door opened and Eric slipped back inside. She smiled at him as she pulled the comforter on his side out for him to climb in. Since Ricki was not in the room yet, they kept the lights on. That was fine though. Lizzie wanted to see him clearly before they both fell asleep, which she knew would be very soon.

After Eric climbed over to his side of the bed, Lizzie pulled the comforter over him then slid closer to wrap her arm around his waist. She spoke to him for a little while. Nothing of too much importance that he needed to focus on. And as she reached up to once again comb her hand through his hair and gently massage his head, she whispered how much she loved him as his eyes glazed over then closed. His breathing steadied soon enough and she once again wrapped her arm around him while she kissed his forehead once more.

Despite having fallen asleep peacefully, Lizzie had a pretty restless night. Most of her dreams that night had a worrying tone to them, as if she forgot to do something before going to bed. Every so often, she would wake up thinking about just that. Of course, she knew exactly what she needed to do that she forgot to do before going to sleep. But it was already so late and both Eric and Ricki were fast asleep. And with that thought in mind, she would force herself to go back to sleep with the mental reminder to just deal with it when it was morning. Even with that reminder though, she would end up waking up two more times with that worrying feeling in the back of her mind.

It was close to six when Lizzie finally gave in. The nagging feeling she carried with her all through the night reached peak annoyance as she groaned into Eric’s back then forced herself out of bed. After struggling to walk in the darkness of the bedroom for a few steps, she fumbled for the switch on her desk lamp then turned it on. A wide yawn escaped her while her eyes adjusted to the light. With a soft, tired groan, she dragged her feet over to the wardrobe to pack her clothes for tonight. She was going to be staying with her family in the city tonight.

A part of her really did not want to deal with taking everything out of her swim bag just so she could use it as a weekender for this overnight stay. Sure, it had the room for her work clothes and whatever she decides to wear after work, but she also just did not want to go into her internship today carrying a duffle bag. It took a moment for her to consider her options, mostly because her brain was still too tired to think quickly and properly. Eventually though, she figured out a decent solution that still took the same amount of effort, but at least she didn’t look too odd carrying it around all day.

Lizzie was sort of forced to face a hard truth she failed to recognize in the high of having Eric move into the flat. Her desk was now a bit of a mess. Since she hadn’t brought too much with her to London, her desk was mostly used as a storage spot for her laptop, iPad and whatever books she couldn’t find as an ebook. There was hardly much else. And then Eric moved in and suddenly it was full of stuff, especially the wall shelf above her desk. It was now full with his notebooks and the Harry Potter books Lizzie insisted he bring into the room. On her desk were more notebooks. These were the ones Eric used the most; one of them with his current work in progress. With the notebooks, there were pens everywhere. Most of them were the pens that came for free at Eric’s hotel. That was how she knew who the pens belonged to.

As she held her school things in her arms, Lizzie stared down at her desk wondering how she could move some of Eric’s notebooks out of the way to make room. This was only going to be a temporary situation. She just needed to use her school backpack for her clothes. Her laptop and iPad weren’t needed tonight. After a bit more tired thinking, Lizzie stacked a handful of Eric’s notebooks to the side closest to the bed then placed her things down beside it. Once her backpack was cleared of her school things, she went to work folding her clothes.

She just managed to stuff her manuscript in the back of her backpack - after deciding she didn’t need it until Saturday since she finished reading it on Thursday - when she heard some movement to her side. A smile immediately spread across her face once she noted that Eric was awake. “Morning,” she greeted in a low voice. After zipping her backpack closed, she went back to the bed.

“So, do you think I can see you today? After you get off work?” she asked. “I was supposed to head straight to where my family is staying, but it sorta came to me that I wasn’t going to see you until, like, Saturday night. That’s honestly a lot longer than when you have rehearsal and then the overnight shift, right?” Ever since they got together, and maybe even a little before that, the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other was approximately twenty-four hours and always from Monday night to Tuesday afternoon. The time with her family would last for much longer than that.

Originally, the plan was that she was going to take the train to their Airbnb as soon as she got out of her internship and then come back to the flat Saturday night. However, her flatmates weren’t even scheduled to be home then because Saturday is a scheduled Flat Night. She would probably be asleep long before they got home. So, really, if that was the case, Lizzie would not see Eric for almost forty-eight hours. And, no, that just won’t do.

“I can tell my dad that I’ll be over around, like, five or six. We’re all just gonna stay in tonight and do, like, family stuff.” Lizzie tilted her head up to watch as she pushed Eric’s hair out of his face. “Even if I can get just one hour of your time later, I’ll be fine with that. I mean, obviously, I would love to spend more time with you, but next time. Maybe we can do something together Sunday morning when I’m back home and you’re not drunk.” Lizzie laughed at this. Even if Eric tried to reassure her that he wouldn’t drink too much during Flat Night tomorrow night, she knew he was lying. He’s English. They were notorious for drinking…a lot.

Lizzie honestly didn’t expect Eric to object to her request to see him later. But even so, when he said he’d love to see her, her smile brightened and she leaned in to kiss him. She wanted so badly for their kiss to linger a moment longer. But she was very aware of the time and how she needed to get ready for work, like, ten minutes ago.

While the rest of the flat slept in and enjoyed their Friday schedules, Lizzie and Eric shared a quick but tender moment in the hallway as she shouldered her purse and backpack then accepted a goodbye kiss with a side of coffee and breakfast to-go. Looks like Eric fully recovered from whatever he was dealing with last night. That was a relief.

Since there was still an hour until Eric was off from work, Lizzie hung around the area near King’s Cross. She mostly spent this hour catching up with JKL and Irene, at last. After the few snaps and posts from dinner last night, her friends back home were very curious to hear the details. Especially JKL since they knew very little about Eric meeting her family. Irene at least knew about him meeting her sisters considering she was family after all and could have easily heard it from some other Darcy. All in all, the catch up session did the trick. Before she knew it, it was a little past four and a notification from Eric popped up on top of her screen just as she was telling JKL about his Peppa Pig impersonation. Her face lit up as she read Eric’s quick text. She then tucked her phone into her purse, shouldered her backpack and made her way to the station.

Eric was waiting outside the hotel for her as promised. Her smile brightened as she skipped the rest of the way to him then leapt into his waiting arms. She missed him so much today. And she was going to miss him even more when she had to meet her family tonight.

“Do you wanna help me with something?” she asked once they finished their loving reunion. “I’ve been given the task of buying some, like, supplies for tonight. We’re either doing a movie night or a game night after dinner, I’m not entirely sure. So I’ve been put in charge of snacks. And I think wine as well? Is there a grocery store nearby that I can get all those things?” ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112318-----------❖ LOCATION — whole foods market-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
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---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

Everything just felt so impossibly heavy. As though even lifting a single finger was beyond his physical capabilities right now. His weight was firmly against Lizzie’s chest and he had no intentions of moving, but as she lifted his chin he had no choice but to follow her lead. He didn’t mind, now he could stare up at her while she poured warm honey into his ears and ran the soft pads of her fingers across his face.

Honestly, he could cry. Not that he was sad right now, no more than usual at least. But just the sheer release he felt under her touch. He had been so worked up for so many hours now and doing everything he could to keep up his facade...now that it was just them all his walls were allowed to drop and he could just breathe. For the first time all night he could truly breathe.

His eyes shut as she leaned in. Eric didn’t even have the strength left to kiss her back properly, but he welcomed her all the same. He needed this, and she knew it. He could feel her kiss slowly filling in the cracks that had formed in his heart over dinner, and as she healed him he found himself pressing back into her. He had waited all night to be with her, and it was definitely worth the wait as their torsos collided now. Eric’s hands blindly found her hips, though there wasn’t a single clumsy aspect to his actions. He was plenty familiar with her body by now to know his way around her. It came so naturally to him as his hands slipped under her shirt and found the skin he craved so. He made no attempt to fend off the needy moans that escaped as a fire ignited and his kisses took on a purpose now. She’d brought him back to life.

Eric’s hands left her now, grabbing the bottom of her shirt to lift it up, and up, and he pulled back from her to break their kiss as he pulled the shirt up over her head and her arms sliding out in the process. He let out an exhale as he dropped the shirt, not particularly caring where it ended up at the moment. All Eric cared about was Lizzie and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her as she reached behind her to undo the clasps to her bra. His eyes followed his hand as it slowly traveled from her sternum down until he reached the word ‘always’ that he had discovered earlier in the week. Eric stopped there, his thumb brushing across it once, then back over a second time before his hands snaked back around to hold her close as he kissed her. She was leaning so heavily into him now that he slowly fell back onto the bed and pulled her down with him. They stayed there for a moment, Eric’s hands wandering with neither of them coming up for air until Lizzie suddenly pulled back with a short gasp to catch her breath. She just sat there on him, smiling down until her hands reached forward to begin undoing the buttons on his shirt one by one while her face leaned back down to nestle into his neck. Eric’s eyes had shut again, a weakness setting into his limbs leaving him completely defenseless against her. He was powerless against her touch as she reached the final button and pressed skin to skin. Darcys who? Everything in his life up until this point was suddenly gone from his memory and the only one left was Lizzie. She was all he had and all he needed— he needed more. She had found his mouth again, kissing his moans back while one hand cupped his cheek tenderly, the other slipping in between the heat of their bodies and dancing teasingly across the tattoos on his waist. He moved involuntarily, his back arching up towards her touch and his lips parting against hers as he fought to breathe. She had gone and stolen his breath away again leaving him panting into her. He wanted to see her. He wanted to see those brown eyes of hers turn black when she saw him— that dilated attraction that he knew she would see mirroring in his own eyes.

But when Eric opened his eyes the room was fairly dark and his hair obscured his view. He was not under Lizzie but rather under the comforter instead with his head buried deep into his pillow. He could still just barely feel his dream running over his skin and a soft frustrated groan came out as he longed to slip back into it. Please, just five more minutes. He tried to roll back over, maybe pulling Lizzie close would help. But his hand landed on the cold spot where she should have been and he heard her voice from across the room. Lizzie— the real Lizzie— had noticed he had woken up and so there would be no returning to that dream now. It was fine, he had the real thing now. Just with a few more layers of clothes on than he wanted…

Eric was exhausted as he struggled to push himself up out of the pillows while she approached him now. But he wasn’t exhausted in the way one feels when they didn’t get enough sleep and their body is protesting and begging for more. Rather, Eric had gotten more sleep than he had in a long time because he had just completely shut down last night. It had been so long since he went to bed feeling so empty. He’d had Lizzie, sure. He’d fallen asleep to her soothing words of love and her arms wrapped so protectively around him; but he had just been so spent both emotionally and physically. He honestly felt a little disoriented waking up now. He felt good— revived after last night— just...so tired. So it took him a second to process Lizzie’s request as she joined him on the bed.

Today...today was Friday. That meant he only had a half hour gap between work and rehearsal. Usually it was only enough time to cross London and maybe grab a bite to eat on a good day. But of course he would give up his half hour gap for Lizzie. He would do anything for her. He would much rather spend that time with her anyways.

As she continued into her explanation it finally truly dawned on Eric just how long it would be until he saw her again. He had known all this time that she was going to be staying with her family tonight, but he had always reasoned with himself that it was “just one night”. Now that "one night" was beginning to feel like a small eternity. He would be coming home tonight to an empty bed; no Lizzie to greet him at the door the second he got home, no Lizzie to sit with him while he ate whatever leftovers were in the flat, no Lizzie to play with his hair, no Lizzie to wrap his arms around to hold and be held in return, no Lizzie to share a goodnight kiss with and send him to safely to sleep like she did every night.

A blip of last night’s panic popped up on his heart’s radar at the prospect of being alone tonight. He missed her so much, all the time. Every second they were apart was agonizing but he could always look forward to seeing her at the end of the day. But not tonight. Tonight he would be alone for the first time in nearly three weeks. And he couldn’t even look forward to tomorrow morning. He would wake up still alone; no Lizzie to be the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes, no Lizzie to roll around in bed with while they procrastinated having to leave each other for the day, no Lizzie to hold in the kitchen while waiting for the kettle to boil, no Lizzie to share a good morning kiss with and send him safely to work like she did every morning. And it didn’t stop there either. After all this time without Lizzie he would still have to get through work, rehearsal and Flat Night without her. What was he supposed to do at Flat Night without her!? Nevermind the fact that he had done years worth of Flat Nights before she came into his life, everything had changed now and he couldn’t possibly get through life without her at his side.

That blip of panic was expanding until Lizzie’s laugh pushed it away for now as she teased him about his drinking, ”Heeey…” He would most definitely not be getting drunk tomorrow. How could he? Lizzie wasn’t going to be there, so what was even the point of going? Besides, he had sworn off alcohol after the last flat night left him blacked out and leaning over the toilet the next morning….for arguments sake we’ll just overlook the alcohol served at his birthday party…

Eric held his answer hostage for a moment, letting Lizzie cling to the cliffhanger as he played hard to get. It was only for a moment. The briefest of moments just to get back at her for her comment on his drinking. But then he of course agreed to meet her after work. He wouldn’t dream of having it any other way— okay well his literal dreams would love to have it differently, but this was going to be the best he was going to get while she was away with her family.

Her first kiss of the day honestly felt like it was her last. Everything did. Every little thing she did had Eric clinging to it as though she would never do it again. But he did it all with a smile on his face. He was just so happy to have her here with him now. She was seeing her family tonight but the Darcys were behind him now. Tonight would be his last hurdle and then Lizzie would be back with him for forever. He still didn’t really understand what had happened last night. He had felt so scared, but he hadn’t actually been scared. Scared of who? Of what? Lizzie’s family were perfectly nice people. Nothing bad had happened. It honestly really confused Eric to think about and maybe had circumstances been different he would have actually put some real thought into it, but currently his mind was only capable of one thought at a time and that was Lizzie.

Eric was used to spending all of his spare time thinking about Lizzie everyday, but there was something different about it today. Most dreams tend to slip just out of a person's recall within the first hour after waking. It takes a special type of dream— either extremely bizarre or intensely personal— to stick with someone as long as Eric’s had. It wasn’t exactly right to call it a memory seeing as how it hadn’t actually happened, but it had felt so real that a couple times Eric almost managed to talk himself into believing that it was. That is until rational thinking and logic kicked in to remind him that while yes, Lizzie had kissed him quite a bit last night, he had gone to shower afterwards and then they went straight to bed.

In the end it was that dream that got him through his shift. Eric lost track of how many times it had played in his head before he finally saw the real thing. Well— until he saw Lizzie approaching and Eric’s mind crash landed back on Earth as a grin spread across his face at the sight of her. This embrace was the last one they would share in greeting. The next one would be in parting as they said goodbye, and that hurt to think about so Eric tightened his arms around her and prolonged their kiss for that extra moment that Lizzie had denied them that morning; despite their now public appearance and the audience of passerbys.

It was already after 4pm, technically he was supposed to be at the theatre at 4:30 but he had been planning to push it to the 45 mark if not 5pm in order to spend time with Lizzie like she had asked. But it seemed like that half hour gap was just going to have to suck it up and deal because there was no way he could take her shopping and get to rehearsal on time. He chose not to point this out to her as he brushed rebellious strands of her ponytail back over her shoulder while she explained her family thing.

”Uhh…” Eric looked up and away from her as if trying to remember where he was right now. His mental GPS was routing the surrounding neighborhood of Camden Town to pinpoint the closest shops. Normally this wasn’t a problem for him, he knew how to get just about everywhere, but it wasn’t often he stepped foot in a grocery store so it took him an extra second to make all his calculations. They had three options within a three block radius: Whole Foods Market, Tesco Express, or M&S Simply Food.

M&S seemed a little overboard if she was just getting snacks. No need for gourmet anything if it was just for her family to binge on tonight. That was Eric’s similar reasoning for Whole Foods as well, ”Just snacks, right?” If she wasn’t doing any real grocery shopping then Tesco was probably the simplest choice. And the cheapest.

Eric was glad he’d had time to change today after his shift. It allowed him to be comfortable in his street clothes and devote all his focus on Lizzie rather than the constricting feeling of his starch white dress shirt he’d been wearing all day. Instead he held her hand in his while they walked and talked their way to— ”Whole Foods!”

Yes, they had to pass Whole Foods on their way to Tesco as Lizzie was quick to point out when the storefront came into view. Should he have mentioned there was a Whole Foods instead of just telling her that, ”There’s a Tesco nearby”? Well she found it and they were soon entering the American chain. Eric had only been in here a handful of times and almost always only by Olivia’s request if she wanted him to bring back something that was unique to the store; which she of course paid him back for on the spot, this place was expensive. Well, Tesco was just the next block over if she changed her mind or didn’t like her options here.

He wasn’t very knowledgeable about snack options here so they would have to do some wandering, but Eric knew where the wine was. Of course he would. Still holding her hand he led her inside the shop, going slow enough to let her take in just how small yet packed it was inside, but also moving quick enough so they wouldn’t be in anyone’s way. They walked straight in past the little soup deli counter and up the few little stairs to the “half level” where Eric made a sharp left turn to the wine.

It was a little later as they browsed the rest of Whole Foods that Eric finally couldn’t hold it in a moment longer, “I had a dream last night…” he put down the box of biscuits he’d been looking at as he turned to look over at Lizzie, “...about you.” He was smiling the second his eyes landed on her, God he would do just about anything for that dream to have been real. But here he was stuck with it while she was leaving him for over twenty four hours. He was for sure going to die without her. There was just no way he could even make it through tonight.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112318-----------❖ LOCATION — darcy fam airbnb-----------❖ COMPANY — no one?
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

It was a mistake telling her family that she was going to Whole Foods for her supply run. And Lizzie had to learn that the hard way. The moment she messaged her family letting them know she’d drop by Whole Foods for the snacks, they came flooding with requests. Some requests Lizzie knew already after years living under the same roof. Others made her wonder if she would need to think carefully what snacks she bought to make room for it in her shopping budget. For instance, Jane requested for a side dish for dinner tonight; her choice. While technically that wasn’t expensive, she considered sacrificing one snack or bottle of wine to make the entire purchase affordable.

This was what Lizzie complained about to Eric as they browsed the wines. “Jane’s request for some kind of side dish was, like, the only thing my dad voiced an agreement on. Everything else was just like suggested once and then that’s it.” Just then, she felt her phone vibrate in her hand. Her sisters were now in a wine debate. “Maybe I can just drop the wine number to three bottles? It’s not like we’re out to get hella drunk or something?” She turned back to the wine selection.

After finally getting some kind of idea of a consensus among her family over what wine they preferred, Lizzie grabbed a couple reds and one white and carefully dropped them into the basket Eric offered to carry. Next stop, snacks. By this time, Lizzie had a plan of action courtesy of Eric’s clever input. He suggested that instead of satisfying everyone’s individual request for snacks, Lizzie should pick a couple snacks that would be better received by everyone. If she wanted to get more, they could always just get them at their original destination, Tesco. He reasoned that at least it was cheaper there than at Whole Foods.

Lizzie was in the middle of weighing a couple options of chips she held in both hands when Eric suddenly spoke. Something about a dream? She looked away from the front of the bags to focus on him, just as he added that the dream was about her. Her head tilted curiously to the side while her eyebrows cocked up in mild interest. “Oh?” She turned to face him, dropping one of the bags of chips into the basket after returning the other to the shelf. “I hope it was a good dream.”

A strange expression crossed Eric’s face in response to her comment. This only made her more curious to find out more. “Wait, it wasn’t a good dream?” He answered that the dream wasn’t bad, it was just fine. But Lizzie could sense that he was hiding something. Especially as she watched him eyeing an older woman go around them to walk deeper into the aisle. She had an image of a turtle ducking its head into its shell as she watched him. He was definitely avoiding telling her any more details about whatever not bad, but fine dream he had about her last night. But she still wanted to know!

It became clear to Lizzie after a couple more attempts to get him to admit what he dreamt about last night that he was probably too embarrassed to share it. However, the level of embarrassment was still unclear to her. Was he just too embarrassed to tell her? Or can he tell her, but he was too embarrassed to share it in public? It was definitely tough to tell right now as she followed him to the salad bar. Lizzie decided to go a little extra on Jane’s request, just because she was sure one side dish was not enough for her entire family. So she packed a salad just in case. From there, well, Lizzie and Eric ended up getting mildly distracted trying samples to determine which she should pick to bring to her family.

By the time they finally made it out of Whole Foods, Lizzie and Eric were carrying a couple tote bags. One carried just the four bottles of wine; Lizzie ended up going back to the wine section for another red after a bit of back and forth with Eric over whether three bottles were really going to be enough. The other had the salad and side dish she selected and the couple bags of snacks. As Eric adjusted the strap of the wine tote over his shoulder, he questioned how she planned on carrying all of this to her family’s Airbnb had he said no. To which Lizzie reasoned that she probably would have just gone straight to their Airbnb then find a grocery store near there. Forgive her, Eric. She just wanted to spend more time with you. Case in point, it was already well past time for him to go to rehearsal when Lizzie paid for everything.

“Are you sure you don’t need to go to rehearsal, babe?” Lizzie asked after taking a peek at the flat’s Google Calendar and finding out his rehearsals on Friday actually started two hours earlier than the rest of the week. “I didn’t mean to keep you so late. You’re not going to get in trouble, right?” Eric quickly reassured her as they walked hand in hand to Tesco that she didn’t need to worry about anything. He wasn’t going to rehearsal today.

At Tesco, Lizzie let Eric take the reins. While it would have been easy for her to just pick snacks that they also had in the states, she also wanted to have a little fun with her selections. So she decided that while they were at Tesco, she would buy only UK snacks. In which case, it was Eric’s job to make the selection. Even though she’s already lived in the UK for months, he still had better knowledge of good UK snacks. She let him go nuts...or as nuts as he would let himself go.

When they finally stepped into the train to her family’s Airbnb, it was already getting dark outside. The English days were becoming shorter and shorter the closer it got to winter. And colder. Something Lizzie was still learning to adjust to despite the coat she wore practically everyday. She was only able to enjoy the dense humidity of the Underground for a few stops before they had to shuffle out of the train.

“So…” Lizzie started slowly as she wrapped her free arm around his arm currently carrying the Tesco grocery bag. They were now in the neighborhood her family was staying at for the week. “You sure you don’t want to tell me about that dream you had last night?” Yes, she was still thinking about that over an hour later. She couldn’t help just how curious she was over it. Eric really dropped the ball on that one. They’ve known each other for months now, surely he should have known that she was too curious for her own good. Especially when the topic involved her.

“No one’s around! If it’s anything embarrassing, only I’ll know. I won’t tell anyone!” Lizzie flashed him a cheeky grin.

It took a little more coaxing on her part until Eric finally folded and told her his dream. Okay, not exactly in full detail. But as soon as he mentioned that the dream was more about them than just her, she caught the same strange look he had from earlier as they passed another lamppost. A part of her could sense that she didn’t exactly need anymore details to know where this was going, but the more annoyingly curious part of her still wanted to hear the rest of the details. And it was just as she suspected, he totally had a dream about them being intimate.

Lizzie tried to keep a straight face as he stumbled through as much of his dream as he would give her. As shockingly entertaining as this whole thing was, she should have known this would happen. It wasn’t like their intimacy only stayed in the bedroom. Well, at least in regards to thinking about it. Lizzie too was guilty of drifting off thinking about the way he touched her or how his lips felt on her skin every so often. Especially recently whenever she looked at her reflection and remembered that both of his love bites were still on her neck under all that concealer. Obviously, she should have guessed that he thought about them like that as much as she did if he was now dreaming about it.

At long last, they made it to the front of her family’s Airbnb. At the foot of the stairs leading up to the house, Lizzie reached into her purse for her phone to pull up the text messages from her dad so that she could find the code to unlock the door. Once it was memorized, she led the way up the stairs until they both stood at the front door.

But Lizzie didn’t move to unlock the door. Not just yet. It suddenly hit her hard that this was the very last moment she would have with Eric until tomorrow night...if she was even lucky enough to have tomorrow night. There just really was no predicting what could happen at Flat Night. After she helped Eric place the groceries on the floor at their feet, she turned to look up at him. “Text me when you get back to the flat, okay?” she asked of him. “Or, you know, just text me whenever. I’ll try not to get pulled away too much by my family.” God, she was going to miss him so much.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he leaned down to her. Unlike last night, his kiss was eager. Whether it was influenced by his dream from last night or because he would miss her too, or maybe a mixture of both, a weak, submissive moan escaped Lizzie as his lips pressed so hard against hers. A heat radiated between them that kept them warm against the London cold. She didn’t want to let go of this feeling now swelling up in her; this pure desire to want him, all of him. It was going to kill her how much she’ll miss him tonight.

But she had to go inside. Her family was waiting for her. With all the regret in the world, Lizzie slowly pulled away as one last moan left her. She didn’t pull away fully though. Instead, she rested her forehead against his while she took in a couple deep breaths to pull her back down to earth. But she would never come back down, it was impossible. He was an angel and the only way to be with him was to keep her head and her heart in the skies.

“Get home safe, okay? I love you.” Lizzie opened her eyes to look into his. She stayed like this for a couple more seconds before she reluctantly kissed him one last time then let him go. “Goodbye. Until tomorrow.” As he walked down the steps, she remained at the door and just watched him leave. Until he turned the corner.

“How the hell did you carry all of those here?” Mary commented from the other end of the hallway. It took her another couple seconds of just staring at Lizzie carrying all the grocery bags inside before she moved and joined her to help.

“Eric helped. I went to see him after he got off work, so I recruited him on my supply run,” Lizzie explained.

Mary suddenly stopped and turned to look at her. “Wait, Eric was here and you didn’t invite him in?”

“Uh…” Lizzie blinked while her mind worked a millions miles a minute to think up an excuse. She was sure coming in was the last thing Eric wanted to do after dinner last night. “I told him he didn’t have to. He was already running pretty late for rehearsals tonight.” Yes, she still recalled that he told her he wouldn’t be going to rehearsals, but her sister and the rest of her family didn’t need to know that.

There was much talk over the items she bought during her grocery run where most of it was Lizzie explaining why she made the decisions she had. Obviously most of her sisters were upset that she didn’t get what they requested, but after a bit of a talking to from their dad, they laid off and focused on the snacks she got at Tesco. The moment she mentioned that it was Eric that chose everything, a sudden interest in everything regarding their time together became the new focus of conversation. They even opened a bag of one of the crisps Eric chose.

By the time Lizzie arrived at her family’s Airbnb, Emma, Owen and her dad finished preparing and cooking their dinner for tonight. She was put in charge of heating up the side dish she bought at Whole Foods while Izzy was given the task of mixing the salad. It was during dinner that Lizzie got a full rundown of how her family thought dinner went. Other than the obvious observation that Eric seemed pretty shy or nervous, they all thought he was a nice guy. Liam especially could not stop talking about how he knew how to sound just like Peppa Pig. No one dared tell the child that Eric was actually outside the door an hour ago for fear that it would sour his mood. There was a moment when Lizzie wished she could pull out her phone and text Eric all that she heard, thinking that maybe hearing all the positive things her family had to say about him might make him feel better.

After dinner, they moved their desserts and snacks to the living room for game night. The Airbnb had a small selection of board games that they could use and it did well until Liam got too bored with Monopoly and wanted to play something else. In which case the rest of the night was spent playing kid appropriate games. As Lizzie promised, she didn’t stay far away from her phone throughout the night. She messaged Eric when it wasn’t her turn and sent him videos over DM when something funny happened or if Liam was just too damn adorable.

Before any of the Darcys knew it, it was well past nine and a couple family members needed to go to bed. Once everyone said their round of goodnights to Liam, Emma and Owen carried the now tired child to their room. Lizzie then took her turn, reminding everyone that she needed to get ready for tomorrow’s work meeting.

While she was staying with her family, Lizzie was bunking with Mary. For now though, she had the room all to herself while Mary, Jane, Izzy and their dad stayed in the living room finishing whatever remaining bottle of wine they had left while watching a movie. Lizzie went straight to work pulling her clothes out of her backpack so that she could lay out her work clothes. She then pulled out the manuscript with the intention of moving it to her work purse. But as she flipped through the pages one last time, a panic sank in so fast it almost felt like whiplash. And after digging through her backpack again then through her purse, she went into full freak out.

Okay, she didn’t exactly freak out, but inside she was screaming. Of all the times to forget her report for work, it had to be when she wasn’t planning on going home until after her damn meeting.

Her intense panic mode had her pulling her phone out without even giving herself a moment to stop and just think things through. Well, it’s not like she could even think properly. For all she knew, she lost her report and there was no time to even rewrite it even if one of her sisters brought a laptop she could borrow. If she was going to find some way to fix this mess, there was one person she could rely on, and she knew for a damn fact that he was home.

Too anxious to bother typing whatever essay she needed to explain the situation, Lizzie took a chance and called Eric. This was actually the first time she ever tried calling him through WhatsApp and she prayed he’d answer. Luckily, he did.

“Babe! Oh, thank god. You’re home, yes?” Even Lizzie could hear the desperate urgency in her own voice. “Can you please do me a favor? Can you check if I left my report for this manuscript in our room? I thought it was packed in the manuscript when I put it in my backpack this morning, but it’s not here. The only place I can think it might be is in my laptop? I know I told myself I was supposed to put it in the book when I got home ‘cause I was running late for class on Thursday. I guess I didn’t?”

Lizzie couldn’t help pacing the room as she waited for Eric to give her any news. She heard a bit of shuffling, but honestly that made her anxiety worsen. Until, what felt like forever, Eric came back on the line and told her he did indeed find it in her laptop.

“Oh good! Thank god...Thank you!” She breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, um, can you just leave it on top of the laptop? I can come by in the morning before my meeting to pick it up.” ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112318-----------❖ LOCATION — the darcy air bnb-----------❖ COMPANY — hopefully soon to be lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

Admitting his dream turned out to be a lot harder than Eric had anticipated. He truly had wanted to tell her. He wanted to share this deeply intimate moment he’d experienced with her and he felt to some degree that maybe would even like hearing about it. But as soon as Lizzie was waiting for him to speak he suddenly felt all the walls of Whole Foods closing in on him and all the other patrons and employees had formed a circle around them and were chanting something cultish and it felt like the next words he said would land him on a most wanted list or something. It was like every British bone in his body was screaming at him to hold his tongue and so the truth of his dream became taboo between them. But only for as long as they were in earshot of the general public. Once it was just the two of them on the quiet neighborhood streets he quickly lost the battle, divulging the little secret he had kept to himself all day.

”Alright well, it uhm, wasn’t exactly just about you. More like...us?” Eric’s eyes danced away, partly as a nervous habit and partly because he was getting excited all over again just thinking about this. God, why did it have to be a dream? And why did it have to find him last night of all nights when there was literally nothing either of them could do to see it beyond being just a dream. He was walking Lizzie to her family’s air bnb right now and he wouldn’t see her until late tomorrow night. Ricki would definitely be home by the time they reunited, actually the entire flat would be home. So there would be no way for them to be alone together. Not that the others being home had ever stopped them before.

He cleared his throat feeling a little awkward at the prospect of talking about it all but it was too late to back out now, ”Do you remember last night? When you kissed me after your shower?” As if she would forget…”It continued on from there— my dream,” It was like Eric was stalling and trying to find the right hints to lead into his story without having to actually explain himself. But he should have known that his little Lizzie would push him for more. She wanted to hear all about it, and he wanted to tell her just as badly. But he couldn’t hide the lightest blush from dusting his cheeks as he went on to describe just how much more intimate his dream had taken them.

The reality of their night had been that Eric was just far too tired— weak even, and he started off by acknowledging that himself but he didn’t dare go into specifics about why that was. He wasn’t ready to tell Lizzie about what had happened in the bathroom at dinner. He didn’t even understand the first thing about what had happened, so what good would it do to just dump that worry on her? No, she didn’t need to know. Not yet at least, he was fine and that’s what mattered.

Eric carried on from where the reality had ended and the dream had picked up. How he had suddenly felt near invincible after their shared kisses. How while he had been the one to pull her shirt off this time and she had gone the extra mile to remove her bra. That was definitely a new milestone for them and Eric got shy talking about it. He opted out of describing anything surrounding specific emotions or action. He didn’t quite feel comfortable telling Lizzie he had felt up her dream persona like that when they hadn’t even gotten there in real life yet. The last thing he wanted was to create expectations for her or for her to feel fetishcized in any way. Eric knew first hand exactly how both of those felt and he didn’t want to put her through it. The dream was simple enough to follow without those details. She just needed to get the idea that they were making moves. Eric wrapped up by telling her how she had just finished unbuttoning his shirt when he woke up and that it was a rather cruel ending for a dream that good.

While he had felt plenty awkward during the telling of his dream, afterwards he felt fine. Like this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. This was just a part of their shared life that he had experienced and it wasn’t at all out of the blue. Of course the reality was that they had never made it that far in any of their times together. They had gotten close, and there had been numerous times with an almost painful burning passion that hadn’t existed in his dream but...that was exactly it. In his dream it hadn’t felt desperate like they had been waiting their entire lives for it like it usually did. It had felt...normal. Intimate, yes. Love and desire both equally present. But it had felt like they did that all the time— and it had felt perfect. He wanted every moment with Lizzie to be so tender and loving. He wanted to feel her hands all over him and to touch her in return. He loved how focused she had been, like she knew exactly what to do to please him and it was just one good feeling after another. Of course he did not mention any of these afterthoughts to Lizzie, they were a little too personal to admit just yet, the dream itself was enough.

Eric had thought he was doing good compartmentalizing his feelings concerning their impending short term separation, but as he and Lizzie stood on the doorstep to the Darcy air bnb the dam to his emotions was crumbling and he suddenly wasn’t ready to leave just yet. He just wanted to keep her for forever, and while he knew he couldn’t do that he could at least keep her here outside the house for as long as possible.

He nodded along in agreeance as she instructed him to text her. He always did. But Eric didn’t have the patience any longer and now that his arms were no longer occupied with shopping totes all he wanted to do was fill them with Lizzie. He wanted to fill everything with Lizzie. Her touch, her taste, her scent, her sound and of course the breathtaking sight of her. All five of Eric’s senses were completely taken over by her— but so was a sixth. He could not stop thinking about her for one single second. He held her so tight, as though afraid that she would vanish into thin air if he didn’t. His lips sealed with hers, successfully locking them together until he felt Lizzie begin to pull away. Eric followed her, leaning further in until she at last broke contact. One hand released her then to travel up and with a firm yet gentle grip, held the back of her neck underneath her ponytail as though that were his last line of defense to keep her there.

Despite their close proximity, Eric’s eyes were open and waiting. His dream had denied him of this moment and he needed to live it out, he needed to see her eyes staring back into his. It took a moment, but while earlier Eric could not wait a single second, he now had all the patience in the world if it meant he could just stand here staring at her. The only noise between them was the sound of their breaths until Lizzie’s voice finally broke the silence and there— his eyes finally found hers and he just stared, and stared. He hadn’t said it back yet, those three important words. But that was only because his eyes were saying it for him as he got lost in hers.

Lizzie’s last kiss was almost painful. This morning he had had his last morning kiss. This was now his last night kiss. This was it. He wasn’t going to see her for over twenty four hours. He tried so hard to keep her there with his last kiss, but Lizzie proved to be the responsible one of the two and once again pulled back first, ”—love you…”

He looked back once at the bottom of the stairs, a second time halfway down the street and a final third time just before he turned the corner out of sight. Each time he turned over his shoulder she still stood there staring back at him and it made leaving that much harder. It was such a long and lonely train ride back to the flat. Eric’s hands ended up holding each other in his lap just to keep from feeling the emptiness without Lizzie there.

His first order of business after getting back to the flat was to inform Lizzie that he had safely returned. Then after dropping off his bag in their room the next was to text his troupe. He had some….worried? ….annoyed? It was hard to tell, but he had some texts waiting for him that all received a fairly vague response from him that something had come up and he wouldn’t be able to come in at all tonight. It was sort of true. Technically he would have been able to attend almost half of rehearsal but Eric just couldn’t get himself to go. There was also the fact that he had gone on auto pilot and hopped on a train towards Boundary rather than Regent Street and by the time he noticed it would have been such a hassle to double back.

But after that Eric didn’t really know what to do with himself. He wasn’t usually home this early, or by himself. Not that he was alone, literally everyone else was home, he was just missing the one person that mattered the most to him. Olivia was the one to ask why he was home but she accepted his story of how he had taken Lizzie grocery shopping, dropped her off and then was just too tired to go back out. After all it wasn’t like he was heavily involved in this production. Olivia also seemed pleased to hear that he had been helping the Darcys out, ”So how was dinner last night? You sort of just vanished after you guys got back…”
Oh...no this was not a conversation he wanted to have with Olivia. Not right now at least, ”I mean Lizzie said the basics but….”
Olivia’s questions were weirdly specific and more so oriented around Lizzie’s family than their relationship vs the Darcys. It was after she asked something about Mary that the puzzle pieces started fitting together in his head. But rather than answer her question he slowly shined a light over the puzzle, ”She asked about you too.”

This inkling of a discovery put Eric in a bit of an awkward situation. On the one hand he felt he owed it to his girlfriend to tell her that her sister might have an admirer, but at the same time as the role of best friend it was his duty to keep Olivia’s secrets. Besides, what if he was just reading into something that wasn’t even there? Despite having been texting since he got home, Eric opted to not tell Lizzie about this bit of information. Maybe later, and maybe that later would be soon. But it also just didn’t feel right to tell her over WhatsApp. That felt like an in person type of conversation.

Eric still wore the clothes he had changed into with the intentions of going to rehearsal earlier. He had set himself up in the common room with a notebook to try and get some work done in hopes of making up for having skipped so many rehearsals lately. But he ended up sending more words to Lizzie than he was getting onto paper. That is until her responses slowed the later it got. He figured she must be busy, or tired...maybe both? Eric had been in the middle of grabbing a water bottle from the refrigerator when an alert tone he very rarely heard chimed out from the coffee table where he had left his iPod. No one called him. Ever. Only when it was a scheduled phone call. So who was this trying to reach him so late in the evening?

His heart damn near skipped a beat like a crushing school girl when he saw Lizzie’s name across the screen. But then that skip turned into a falter. There could only be two reasons she was calling him: she either missed him as much as he did her and wanted to hear his voice just as badly as he needed hers. Or something terrible had happened. He prayed for the first as he accepted the call, ”Hey love— “

”What? Uhm yeah, I am. Is everything alright?”
Eric had originally sat down to take the call but he was sitting straight up now in full alert mode waiting to hear just what had his Lizzie all panicked to be calling him for the first time ever. It ended up being the second possibility: something terrible had happened. Well, terrible for Lizzie at least. No one was in any physical danger so Eric was able to breathe easily as he moved to their room to search for this lost report. Ricki was on her bed with her laptop and Eric glanced over at her wondering if he should be explaining what he was doing before snooping through Lizzie’s stuff. In the end he didn’t tell her directly, ”Okay love hold on, I’m looking…”

It felt a little weird rummaging through her things. Clothes and personal space were one thing, but her belongings...books and laptop and such….it just felt weird to be going through but sure enough he did eventually locate the report exactly where she had said it would be, ”I found it.”

Having been at the air bnb just a few hours earlier, Eric knew exactly how far it was for her to come all the way over here and then double back to get to her internship. So when Lizzie went on to say that she would come over in the morning, Eric had a few things to say. He had returned to the common room first though so as to not disturb Ricki, ”What? No that’s insane,” She would have to leave so early to make that detour and get to her meeting on time at 8am, ”I’ll bring it love.”

Lizzie started going on about how she didn’t want him to have to wake up early to bring it to her and such, thinking that he meant he would bring it in the morning, ”No I mean, I’ll just come over right now.”
That didn’t seem to sit well with her either. Lizzie was so insistent that she didn’t want him to have to go back out now that it was late, but she also didn’t want him to leave early in the morning for her. She was so set on coming to get it herself, but Eric wasn’t okay with that, ”Will you even be able to wake up early enough— that’s an hour earlier than you usually do.”

”I’d feel better if you just let me bring it now, I don’t want you stressing over it in the morning.”

”It won’t be any trouble, I’m not doing anything anyways.”

”Please….I just want to see you— I miss you.”
Lizzie had had an argument prepared for just about every point he made up until the last one. Eric didn’t even care how needy it made him sound, there was basically nothing she could say against that. And so it wasn’t long after for her to come around to reason and Eric was saying goodbye, that he was leaving now, and would be there soon.

He didn’t bother cleaning up the common room, he’d be coming right back anyways. He could take care of it when he got back. Lizzie had texted him the address and he opened it in maps just after shrugging on his jacket. He knew where the air bnb was, but a refresher didn’t hurt especially considering he had gone by train earlier.

The car was cold when he climbed in and dropped the report onto the passenger seat next to him. As a shiver ran through him he cranked up the heat and pushed a cassette into the stereo. This was the first time he’d driven his car since they had cleared all his stuff out and while it was still technically dirty inside, it was clean for the first time in years. He actually had available passenger seats that people could sit on! And with his cassettes uncovered he wanted to take advantage and play them— he had of course put on The Beatles.

There wasn’t parking directly in front of the air bnb when he finally pulled up about half an hour later, so Eric had to park a bit down the street and then walk back to the house. It wasn’t until he reached the stairs that a brief feeling of dread washed over him though. He had been here earlier with Lizzie, but they had never opened the door so he hadn’t had to interact with her family in any way. But now...what if another Darcy opened the door? What would he do? Well he would say hello obviously, but the piranhas were nibbling on his toes and weighing down each step he took until he was standing in front of the door and slowly reached for the door knocker to make his presence known and pray to anyone who who take his prayers that Lizzie would be the one to open the door.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112418-----------❖ LOCATION — darcy fam airbnb-----------❖ COMPANY — no one
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

Just how long was the trip from the flat to where her family was staying? Lizzie fumbled around with the Google Maps app on her phone as she waited for Eric to arrive. At least it gave her something to do while she anxiously waited for him to come with her report. Granted, it was a different type of anxiety now. The anxiety from earlier slowly faded away to make room for the anxious anticipation she felt waiting for Eric. On the phone he fought so hard to come see her and while at the time she was more concerned about getting her report without troubling him, now she could feel the butterflies fluttering with excitement inside her. A smile spread across her face when she saw that it would take Eric no more than half an hour to get to her. That was assuming he took his car, of course. Eric failed to specify just how exactly he was planning to get here.

The benefit of bunking with Mary tonight was that she selected the room that faced the street. Lizzie sat posted at the window, watching as car after car drove passed, wondering if that was Eric’s car. She should not have been surprised when she realized that it was pretty difficult to recognize his car during this hour. Even though it was fairly late and so not that many people were out driving right now, she questioned whether each tiny car that passed the house was the red car she saw outside the flat these days. Red was just so hard to see in the dark and it seemed like every driver living in London had a tiny car.

There was a point as she continued to wait impatiently for Eric to arrive when she wondered if he had maybe taken the train instead. She wasn’t exactly sure if his car even ran well enough to make the trip. It did look pretty run down and she’s never actually seen it being driven before. The farthest she’s actually seen the car from the flat was the time it was parked halfway between the flat and the hotel; the night she and Olivia went looking for him. That was at most a ten minute drive? Lizzie gently bit down on her bottom lip as she looked up the travel time by train. Okay, it was an extra ten or so minutes around this time. So maybe he was still on the train?

Then she looked back at what time she called him and saw that she’s only been waiting about ten minutes. Whether he was driving or taking the train, he still had at most another twenty minutes to get here. Sitting at the window watching cars and people go by was not going to do her any good. So she pulled herself away from the window to finish what she started before the report freak out.

There was still about five minutes in Eric’s approximate ETA when Lizzie returned to her post at the window now dressed in a pair of joggers from the training facility she used to go to for swimming and a tank top. She put her Disney sweater back in her backpack. With her experience in the flat, she over prepared for the London cold thus did not expect her family to take advantage of a thermostat whose heating actually worked. She was very warm in the house and putting on her Disney sweater even to lessen how much she missed Eric just sounded terrible.

After some time, Lizzie caught sight of a tall person walking down the street toward the direction of the house. Only, this person wasn’t walking from the direction of the train station or the general direction of the flat. Her gut instinct told her that the general body type of this person looked like Eric though, especially because as she closely looked at the person’s hair, it was long. However, she didn’t move from the window until this person walked under the lamp post in front of the house. Sure enough, as the light revealed who this approaching figure was, Lizzie was all smiles and excitement seeing that it was Eric. She didn’t even need to watch him turn into the walkway towards the front stairs to confirm. Suffice it to say, her tunnel vision made her abandon her phone and completely forget that she was supposed to put on her Disney sweater before going to the door. All she cared about was seeing Eric right this instant.

“Don’t get up! It’s for me!” Lizzie cried out as a knock echoed throughout the house. She now jogged down past the other bedrooms toward the living room, then ignoring the strange looks she was getting from her dad and sisters as she turned into the hallway leading to the front door. “I’ll get it!”

Lizzie paused at the front door to take a deep breath and fight her ever growing grin. Her face practically hurt from smiling so much, she was so excited for this unexpected reunion. After one more deep breath, Lizzie unlocked the door and pulled it open. Standing there, completely obstructing her view of the outside world, was her perfect angel. It was almost as if no time passed looking him up and down. He still wore the same clothes from earlier. Only evidence that time did indeed pass were the papers in his hands.

“Babe, you are my savior!” she said as she took the report from him. After placing it temporarily on the table directly beside the front door, Lizzie returned to Eric and closed the door behind them. Once the door clicked shut, she immediately wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and pressed her face into his chest. “Thank you for coming to see me.”

In the midst of her excitement over getting to see her boyfriend after being apart for about four hours, Lizzie completely forgot where she was exactly. The house her family was staying plus spending time with her family ruined her reality. So when she finally came down from the heat of their reunion, the London cold came at her with a vengeance. A strong chill ran through her and she could feel the goosebumps rising up her exposed arms. She shivered so violently in Eric’s arms. But she didn’t suffer for too long. Eric immediately responded to her torture by wrapping his warm jacket around the both of them, practically burying her inside. Her shivering lessened some and she could once again focus on how happy she was that he was here.

Without her phone or any other way to tell the time, it was hard for Lizzie to determine just how long she and Eric stood at the door. Had she been thinking clearly, she would have invited him inside. But any form of movement after being encased in his arms and jacket just seemed like too much work for her. She was perfectly warm now. The London cold had nothing on their shared body heat...and their love. They spoke for a time. Lizzie learned that he did indeed drive here from the flat, but had to search for parking down the way. They spent the rest of the time together catching up on all they did while they were apart for the last few hours. Well, it was more Lizzie updating him on whatever she hadn’t told him over text. Apparently, after getting home earlier, Eric didn’t really do much aside from talk to Olivia and try to get theatre work done.

They then pulled out whatever topic they could talk about to stay like this for much longer. At one point, while they just stood holding each other silently, Lizzie imagined what Eric would do back in the flat tonight while she was away. Would he sleep on their bed or return to the couch? Would he get on well with the others? Would he be able to sleep early without her there to run her fingers through his hair? Would he miss her more and more like she knew she would him? Would he dream of her like he did last night?

Another shiver ran through her at the memory of him telling her the details of his dream. It killed her that she wouldn’t be able to fulfill his dreams tonight. Over the past couple months they’ve had their fair share of moments when they gave in their desires, but each one ended before they could go far. And the fact that Eric dreamt of them reaching a next level in their intimacy told her clearly that he wanted to, as much as she did. She suddenly found herself craving his skin against hers in the way he described it in his dream. She wanted more than just her hands to run against the swallows, the butterfly and the ferns. A soft moan echoed against his chest as she thought about what it would be like to explore more of his body, to have this chance for them to become even closer. Not just physically but emotionally as well. Lizzie knew that such a level of intimacy opened the doors to vulnerabilities that could only be reserved for someone trustworthy. And she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she trusted Eric with all her heart and soul. From that very first time on the couch two weeks ago, she wanted him to see her, all of her. And she hoped with all she was learning from their times together that she could please him enough for him to feel the same way too and give him all the love he deserved.

Lizzie didn’t want him to go. She died a little inside at the thought that any second now, she would need to relinquish her hold on him to once again watch him leave her behind. But the rapping on the nearby window pulled her back down to earth, back to reality. Her family was once again waiting for her. Without turning to look back at the intruder, Lizzie pulled away slightly to be able to look up at Eric. She chanced the cold as she pulled an arm out of its warm encasement to brush his hair out of his face. She wanted to see him clearly one last time, to hold her over until they were together again tomorrow night. Then she leaned up to him, standing on her tiptoes for a chance to get closer. Soon after, he met her halfway in a kiss not like earlier, but still just as amazing.

She didn’t wait for him to turn the corner like last time. As soon as he closed the gate behind him, she punched in the entry code for the front door and stepped inside.

Jane, Mary, Izzy and her dad all had their eyes on her when she finally reappeared from the hallway, her report rolled up in her hands. “What was that about? Was that Eric again?” Mary asked.

“Yeah…” Lizzie said breathlessly. She explained the situation of his visit, how she freaked out to Eric about having forgotten her report at home. Then, she explained, carefully, how he went to find the report at the flat and offered to bring it to her so that she didn’t have to worry about leaving very early tomorrow morning to pick it up before her meeting.

“Wait,” Jane interrupted, “Eric offered to go to your place this late at night - knowing that you wouldn’t be there - to get your work stuff and bring it to you? Are you sure you didn’t ask him to?” Lizzie shot her eldest sister a look then told her that Eric insisted on bringing it tonight despite her objections over the idea. “Huh...okay then. Kudos to him.” Jane simply nodded at this then finished the last of her wine without another comment.

Izzy then asked why Lizzie hadn’t invited Eric inside. To which Lizzie responded that it was already so late and he also had work in the morning. This didn’t seem to satisfy her sister though as she muttered under her breath something about how he could have least said hi to them. Meanwhile, her dad made no additional comments to the conversation as he looked away from his daughters to look out the window.

For the rest of the evening, Lizzie felt in brighter spirits after Eric’s visit. Not even Izzy and Mary’s teasing about how Eric was practically wrapped around her finger could ruin her good mood. She left her sisters giggling over a photo Izzy took of them together at the front door to finish washing up before bed. By the time Mary returned to the room, Lizzie was curled up on her side of the bed with her phone glued to her hand waiting for Eric to text back. Despite back and forth demands that the other should go to sleep now, Lizzie continued to text Eric into the night until her eyes grew so heavy she could hardly keep her phone firmly in her grasp.

Lizzie was the first one awake the next morning. But by the time she got out of the shower and returned to her room to change for work, her dad could be heard moving around the kitchen. There were also other sounds she could hear from the other rooms, but she was certain none of her sisters would bother leaving the warm comfort of their beds at six in the morning. Not even Jane.

“Whoa...are those what I think they are?!” Mary exclaimed from her side of the bed. Lizzie looked up to find her sister staring wide eyed at her. Or, more specifically, her neck. She hadn’t expected her sister to be up already and since she hadn’t passed her dad earlier, she didn’t think to cover the hickeys still visible on her neck. “Have those been there the entire time? Or did you and Eric get into some funny business after dinner?”

“No! Nothing happened last night. We just went home!” Lizzie turned away from Mary to hide how red her cheeks were. She focused intently on searching for her makeup bag in her purse while she heard her sister giggle and throw a couple more teases her way. It wasn’t her intention to give Mary more fuel to work with, but now that she knew the hickeys have been there far longer than last night, she would not let it go. Not until Lizzie was dressed for work and covering them up with concealer.

Saturday was going to be a busy day for Lizzie. After her meeting that morning, she met up with her family near King’s Cross to take the Underground to Westminster. This was the Darcys first time taking the Underground since they relied heavily on Uber the entire time they were here. But Lizzie highly recommended they experience it once. And what better chance to try it than while they hit all the touristy spots today.

Lizzie was reminded of the day Eric took her to all the places she now took her family. All those months ago, she had been the one wide eyed with excitement experiencing London for the first time. The buildings were all so new to her then. Of course, since she hadn’t exactly seen Buckingham Palace or Big Ben since her trip with Eric, they still held that sense of wonder being so close to it. The experience only made better now that she was with her family. She was grateful that they decided to leave this family adventure until she was available.

Throughout the day, Lizzie tried her best to keep in contact with Eric. Just to let him know what she was doing and that while she was having fun with her family, she missed him so much. Even when she knew he was away from his iPod, she still left him messages to return to when he had a moment to himself. She even forwarded photos and videos so that he can see exactly what they were all doing.

The Darcys didn’t return to the house until well after ten. Or, more specifically, the Darcy sisters. Both Jane and Emma surprised their three younger sisters with evening tickets to watch a show in West End while their dad and Owen stayed back to watch Liam. Lizzie was glad that her sisters chose a production that could only be seen in London, although she was certain that Jane probably wanted to see Hamilton or something. By the time they returned to the house, Liam was already tucked in bed and their dad and Owen were tagged out of babysitting duties to explore the local pub life like Lizzie recommended they do.

Speaking of the pub life in London….

While Emma went to check on Liam and her other sisters hung around the kitchen to chat and wind down for the night, Lizzie quickly washed up and changed then hunkered down on the couch in the living room. At least until she has the energy to pack everything up and head home like she promised Eric.

During the show, Lizzie felt her phone vibrate in her purse quite a few times throughout the last half of the first act. She wasn’t able to see who was texting her until intermission. When she finally did take her phone out, there were a ton of texts from Malcolm waiting for her. At first, this confused her. Why would Malcolm be messaging her this much in a matter of an hour? It was when she finally unlocked her phone to read the messages that everything made complete sense. It wasn’t Malcolm that was texting her. It was Eric through Malcolm’s phone. Luckily, Eric was still sober enough to understand that she would be MIA for about another hour as she was at a show with her sisters.

Only...that understanding didn’t last as long as she expected. At about the last third of the second act, her phone started vibrating in her purse again. And more often than during the first act. When she checked her phone at the end of the show, the messages became more and more harder to understand.

Yep, Eric was definitely drunk.

Now that she was back in the house for the rest of the night, Lizzie finally opened all the DMs and Snaps she received from her flatmates throughout the night since Flat Night began a couple hours ago. She watched from multiple points of view as they all enjoyed dinner together. Then they made their way to whatever pub was nearby. It was also during this time that Lizzie noticed that Eric was hanging around Malcolm throughout the night. Once they reached the pub, though, events started to become more spread out. One moment her flatmates came together to cheers their first round. Then the next time she saw something from any of them, Ricki was found dancing with some tall, tan guy with another drink in her hand and Eric was practically glued to Malcolm...with a phone in his hand.

Lizzie would be lying if she didn’t feel as if she was missing out on a fun night. It wasn’t that she regretted this time with her family. But...she couldn’t help the bit of jealousy in the pit of her stomach watching as Eric and Malcolm went from having an arm around each others’ shoulders to practically hugging.

Oh well, she shouldn’t exactly complain...she knew and the flat knew that Flat Night must go on with or without her and they couldn’t stop having fun for her sake. The best she could do now was pack up her things like she planned and head home to wait for the others.

Only…“Lizzie, I think it would be better if you just stayed here tonight. It’s almost eleven. It’s definitely too late for you to be going home by yourself.” Jane seconded Emma’s suggestion and added that she could go home tomorrow morning.

It was at this moment that she regretted telling her dad and Owen to go to a pub tonight. No matter what she tried to tell her sisters, both Jane and Emma stuck strong to their belief that it was better for Lizzie to stay than go now. It didn’t matter to them that if they were so concerned, she could just take an Uber home. None of them liked the idea of her traveling alone at night.

And so, with a little reluctance, Lizzie went to her room with her phone in hand. She quickly read the last drunk text Eric sent five minutes ago while she was having the debate with her sisters then called Olivia’s number.

“Hey! How’s it going?!” Lizzie said, finding herself shouting over the loud music. Olivia screamed something into the phone, but she could only make out every few words. Eventually though, after listening to a couple “excuse me’s” the background noise was cut down by more than half.

“Sorry, the music is just so loud inside,” Olivia said, her words slurring just a little bit. “Are you back at the flat now?”

“Actually, that’s what I’m calling you about…” Lizzie started slowly. “I, uh, just got back to my family’s Airbnb. My dad and my brother-in-law went out for a drink so my sisters think it’s better if I stay tonight then go back tomorrow morning.”

There was silence over the line. “Eric is not going to like this…” Olivia said through a sigh. “D’you want me to tell ‘im?”

“Um—” Just then she felt her phone vibrate against her ear. Pulling the phone back to look at the screen, she saw that it was Malcolm calling. Or, most likely, Eric. “You know what, I think he’s calling right now. I can tell him. But I just wanted to let you know so you guys don’t wait up for me.”

With a deep breath, Lizzie ended the call with Olivia then answered Malcolm/Eric’s call. Hopefully Eric wasn’t going to take this change of plans too hard. Maybe the alcohol would help?​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112518-----------❖ LOCATION — the common room-----------❖ COMPANY — malcolm
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

Waking up alone was quickly becoming one of the feelings Eric hated the most. Last week he had woken up to an empty bed not once, but twice because Lizzie was on the phone with her family in the common room. And yesterday too, even though she had still been in the room, there was something painfully lonely about that first moment waking up and not seeing her beside him. Not being able to pull her close and relax into her comforting presence…

Eric felt that loneliness now as he opened his eyes to the light just peeking in through the windows. He had sandwiched himself against the back of the couch; it was the closest he could get to feeling like he was being held. At least his new blanket had definitely done its job at keeping him warm and he buried his face back into the fleece as he groaned while processing the knowledge that he was awake now. Awake and alone.

He didn’t remember falling asleep. Eric’s last hazy memories were of texting Lizzie late into the night; he must have finally fallen asleep while talking to her. Reopening his eyes now he moved his hand around beside him until he felt his iPod tucked just under his pillow and pulled it out to check the time. 6:38am...he really did not need to be awake right now. But without Lizzie at his side it seemed like his mind and body just couldn’t align. His body was tired and even a little sore since it had been a while since he had slept on the couch. His eyes hurt from inadequate sleep and he could even feel a light headache forming the longer he was awake. These were all signs he should still be asleep, but he just couldn’t. Without Lizzie here he was honestly a little on edge. Not quite visibly, it wasn’t like he was paranoid or tense. But there was definitely a part of him that felt nervous, almost scared being alone. It was a little difficult to describe. Obviously here in the flat he was safe and he knew that, but without Lizzie he just felt this stress that nothing else seemed to be able to address. Much like a child dependent on their favorite stuffed animal to go to sleep. Eric had grown to rely so heavily on that safety net Lizzie cast over him, and without it he was struggling. Thank god she was only staying one night and tonight would be back to normal.

After unlocking his iPod he first got hit with a 20% battery warning, oops...but after closing the notification he was taken straight to his text thread with Lizzie. It looked like he had fallen asleep while in the middle of composing a text and never finished. But after staring at the gibberish that had formed when his thumb slipped across the touchscreen...Eric couldn’t make heads or tails of what he had been trying to say. He slowly deleted each letter one by one and then pushed himself to sit up before starting fresh.

good morning xxx​

He didn’t even care he was exposing how ridiculously early he was awake, Eric just really really needed her. It took a couple minutes for her to respond and he spent those minutes doing nothing but anxiously waiting for her. He couldn’t go about his day or do anything until she texted him back.

It proved to be a very rough morning for Eric from that moment on. He couldn’t fall back asleep so he ended up texting Lizzie until it was time for her meeting. It was so lonely eating by himself now. They had spent countless mornings sharing kisses and affection in the kitchen and now...nothing. And on top of that, everything just reminded him of her more and more. That was her mug...over there was her tumbler for coffee-to-go...and instead of preparing breakfast for two he only had to make enough for himself— but he honestly wasn’t even hungry.

Things were a little easier once he was at work since they were able to return to their routine here. They texted throughout his shift just like normal and work kept him busy enough so his mind didn’t wander too far. But the entire time there was this looming cloud over his heart. It was like this difficult to explain feeling that a huge part of him was missing. His entire world was having a crisis and it felt this temporary feeling of hopelessness. Eric was deep in love but he wasn’t stupid. He could recognize that his feelings were a little dramatic for the situation, but he still felt them all the same. He could feel Lizzie’s present absence from his life the same way you would feel going to school the day after your best friend moved away. Everything was the same. School was school, you know everyone there, it’s not like you even had any classes with your friend anyways and you can still call her whenever. But just knowing that she’s gone just leaves you feeling so empty and abandoned.

youre still coming back tonight right xx​

Eric was back at the flat after work, there was no rehearsal meeting this week so he was left to twiddle his thumbs waiting for Flat Night. He was nearing a point of desperation in missing Lizzie but she assured him that yes she was going to be back tonight and that she couldn’t wait to see him. That feeling was mutual. His chest physically ached with his longing as he now lay on top of their bed hugging her pillow to his face to take in the scent of her shampoo. At some point his sleep deprivation and separation anxiety driven stress teamed up and got the better of him and he managed to doze off for a nap.

By the time they were all seated at dinner the therapeutic-ness of Eric’s nap had worn off and he was back to missing Lizzie. He had been doing okay being alone in the flat, that wasn’t so bad, he did that every Tuesday waiting for her to come home and he was always fine then. But being around all their flatmates now just highlighted the fact that she wasn’t here. And the empty chair at their table didn’t help. He didn’t want to be here, not without Lizzie. He’d rather be back at home waiting for her or better yet in his car going to pick her up. It was getting to be late, surely she was done with her family by now...maybe he’d just check in with her.

That was how Eric first came into possession of Malcolm’s phone as he sent a simple text asking if she would be leaving soon. He hadn’t had much to drink over dinner, he felt he’d be okay to drive by the time he got back to the flat and got his car, so his next text was for her to let him know when she was ready to go and he would come pick her up. By the time the flat had reached the pub and had cheers’d their first drink there was a worry setting in for Eric. Lizzie still hadn’t responded to a single text and he had sent a lot asking if she was okay and repeating to ask if she would be back soon. Malcolm had long ago disabled his passcode so Eric didn’t have to keep asking him for it all night, it wasn’t like the phone was leaving their table anyways. If it wasn’t in Eric’s hands then it was sitting face up on the table, which is where it was now as Olivia dragged him away to help her carry the next round back.

”Eric!” He looked up towards the sound of Malcolm’s voice when they had returned and saw that he was holding his phone out as if offering it to him, ”Lizzie texted you.”
Finally!!
He was super excited as he abandoned the drinks on the table to take the phone from Malcolm and without even sitting down, opened to his text thread with Lizzie thinking he would see a message from her that she was ready to go. Only it was just the opposite and a sadness set in at the realization that she was busy and that not only would she not be leaving for a couple hours still at least, but she still wouldn’t be able to talk to him since she was at a show.

He replaced the phone in his hand with his next drink after she said she needed to go and that she would text him when the show was over; she estimated about another hour. It wasn’t long before Eric was leaning into Malcolm just staring at the phone on the table, drunk and impatiently waiting for Lizzie to text him back. Time was moving so slowly in some aspects and so quickly in others. For instance, he didn’t know what number drink he was on when Angel passed him a new glass which made it seem like time was flying cause he had specifically told Lizzie he wouldn’t drink that much. So surely it was late in the night already and these drinks weren’t actually in such quick succession. But the fact that Lizzie still hadn’t texted meant time was actually going agonizingly slow. He was just getting sadder and drunker waiting for her until he reached a point that he was so sure an hour had passed— in reality it had only been about 35 minutes— and Eric picked up the phone to text her again, and again….and again...

He was clutching Malcolm's phone so tightly as if his life depended on it. Malcolm’s phone wasn’t just the bridge between him and Lizzie, the phone was Lizzie and Eric refused to put it down even after Olivia managed to convince him to stop texting, ”She said she’d text you, just wait Eric.” He settled to just hold the phone, his arms looped around Malcolm’s by now as the rest of the flat tried to get him to lighten up and play games with them.

imn non my wasy xcxx z​

Lizzie had finally replied that the show was over, Eric’s mind had completely bypassed the fact that she still had to go back to the air bnb as he now held the phone out for his ever patient bromantic mate to see, ”Maaackie! Lizzie’s home! I ‘ave to go now...”
Poor Malcolm had to be the bearer of bad news that while Lizzie had said she would be home soon, she wasn’t actually there yet. But Eric seemed to have an easier time accepting this update and happily resumed attempting to text Lizzie and getting mildly frustrated every time he hit the wrong key.

The only time he left Malcolm’s side was when he really needed to pee. Lizzie had stopped replying again and waiting for her just made him more aware of his poor bladder that had probably been dying for some time now.

After stepping out of the bathroom Eric gravitated towards the first wall that he saw and reached into his pocket for Malcolm’s phone once he was safely leaning against the support. It was quieter back here by the bathrooms, and with that quiet it was easier to hear his own drunken thoughts and he really, really missed Lizzie. He needed to see her so badly. He needed her to come join them at flat night cause he couldn’t wait until he got home to see her. He needed her. So with that single thought running through his mind he swiped past the lockscreen which opened up his text thread with Lizzie. The screen was so bright on his eyes now and he squinted down at their little blue and white but mostly blue message bubbles for a moment before his thumb moved up to click on the ‘LD’ at the top to open Lizzie’s contact page. From there Eric hit the icon to call her and immediately brought the phone to his ear.

It took a couple rings before that honey he craved so finally reached his ear and Eric smiled into the phone hearing her voice at last for the first time since he had said goodbye to her around this time last night. With the phone pressed tightly to his ear he pushed back against the wall with his shoulders as he slid down to sit on the floor of this little back hallway where the bathrooms were.

”Love c’n you come here…?” Eric’s voice was gone by now, all his words slurred into drunken mumbling; he couldn’t even return her greeting when she answered the phone, just cut straight to the chase sounding like a kid at a party he didn’t want to be at asking his mum to pick him up. But as she went on to try and explain her situation to him his smile slowly fell, ”No, I— you said you were coming home t’night…”

She tried again to repeat her explanation using plenty of apologies and a slightly different approach to try and get him to accept the hard truth, ”No...come’ome...please? I want to see you— I need...” Eric was spiraling a little now in his heavy disappointment until Lizzie had a genius moment of compromise. It took a little work on her part but she soon enough managed to swap their audio call to a facetime video chat and convinced him to look at the phone. As soon as her face filled the screen the smile returned to his face and he greeted her all over again as though this were his first time talking to her, ” ‘ello love.”

They talked for a little bit, Eric’s clearly unfocused eyes miraculously fixating on Lizzie while she spoke until the conversation eventually circled back to how she wasn’t coming home tonight, ”I’m g’nna— I’ll pick you up. I’m g’nna pick you up.” Eric was oh so confident in his ability to drive and went on to tell her he would go home and get his car— but then Lizzie abruptly interrupted to ask where Malcolm was and that completely broke Eric’s train of thought as he looked up as though expecting to see their flatmate, ”Mackie?” He was still sitting on the floor of this hallway and it now dawned on him that for the first time that night he was very much alone, ”The table…?” As Eric struggled to get to his feet his grip on the phone slipped some and he ended up hitting the button to swap to the rear camera and giving Lizzie a stressful view bouncing between his feet and whatever he saw from his eye level as Eric stumbled back out to the main area. He definitely tripped at least twice but at last caught sight of Malcolm still at the corner table away from the rest of the flat where he had moved Eric to earlier in an attempt to both contain him and slow his intake since Ricki and Angel had both been quite the enablers all night so far. It was a little quieter back here though, so hopefully it wouldn’t be too difficult to hear one another, ”Mackieeee— “ Once Eric was close enough his one arm wrapped across Malcolm’s shoulders while his other held the phone out in front of them, ”It’s Lizzie~”

Malcolm took the phone from him and Eric proceeded to wrap his other arm around
Malcolm as he leaned his head heavily against his shoulder. His eyes had shut as Malcolm now flipped the camera back so they were visible and went on to say his hellos. But upon hearing Lizzie’s voice Eric came back to life for a moment and he adjusted his head to look up at Malcolm as he tried to lean closer towards his ear, ”I’m g’nna go get ‘izzie. — ‘nd drive her home…” But contrary to his words, Eric snuggled back into his spot on Malcolm’s shoulder while his human body pillow went on to assure Lizzie that besides the obvious fact that he wouldn’t let her boyfriend do anything stupid like that, Eric didn’t even have access to his keys anymore. This wasn’t the first time tonight that he had come to the decision to go pick her up.

Eric was in much better spirits after his first facetime call with Lizzie. Yes, first. Not long after hanging up the flat pretty unanimously decided to hop pubs since this one would close soon and they weren’t entirely ready to head home yet. The only real debate was between Malcolm and Olivia over whether their manchild would be okay to stay out longer, but since Lizzie wasn’t going to be coming back tonight at all there was less urgency to get Eric home so long as he wasn’t dying. Which he wasn’t, mostly. Yes he was plenty drunk by now but he was no longer miserably moping around waiting for Lizzie to text him back. In fact after he and Malcolm reunited with the rest of the flat he seemed to have caught a second wind which his adoptive flat parents decided to carefully take advantage of. Not take advantage in the sense of wanting anything to happen to him, just that both of them did want to stay out a while longer so as long as Eric was okay to soldier on then they would too.

His second facetime call was at this second location which happened to have a couch— there were pros and cons to that. Pro being that it was an easy place to leave Eric. It was comfortable, safe and within their sights from the table the flat had scoped out. But the obvious con was that Eric was quickly becoming one with the couch. He had joined the flat in a cheers at this new pub despite Olivia’s insistence that he probably shouldn’t, and then had been dropped off at the couch to relieve Malcolm of babysitting and let him enjoy some time to socialize by himself. So of course Eric had opened the phone to call Lizzie back.

He had pressed the facetime redial since that was the most recent call made, but at the time Eric didn’t realize it was a video call and had put the phone to his ear as though expecting to only be able to hear her. But thank you Lizzie for being able to explain once again that it was a facetime call. His smile doubled when he saw her face on the screen again and Eric sort of entered this happy little bubble now where he was too drunk to remember he wouldn’t see her tonight but not drunk enough that he couldn’t focus on her. Anything else in the pub would have flown over his head, but Eric could focus on his Lizzie, always. He was content just sitting and talking nonsense to her— until Malcolm needed his phone back for a few minutes.

Eric’s third facetime was halfway through sharing Olivia’s drink with her back at the flat’s table. This time he knew to expect the video call when he automatically hit the redial most recent call and as soon as the call connected he started asking her opinion on Olivia’s drink choice which he had discovered he wasn’t a big fan of.
”Then stop drinking it!” Olivia protectively pulled her drink out of reach intending to savor what was left before her best friend downed the rest regardless of not liking it. Fine then, Eric got up to leave. He took Lizzie with him but didn’t say a word to either girls as he clumsily walked away from the table. He was crashing pretty hard by now, his happy in love Lizzie feels were wearing off and leaving the tired, drunk miserable ones instead. He didn’t want to be here, but he also didn’t exactly have a destination in mind when he left the table. When Eric next looked to the screen it was black, he had completely drained the battery on Malcolm’s phone and the poor thing had died mid-call without him even noticing until it was too late.

It’s safe to say that everything just went downhill from there. The rest of the flat was just about ready to leave anyways so the timing worked out, but Eric’s good mood from earlier was long gone. He was quiet the entire ride home, just slumped against Malcolm in the back of the car in a sort of half state of existence. He was so ready to just give in and knock out, the alcohol had done its job and he was fading fast. But some stubborn little part of him still clung to the excitement of getting back to the flat and being reunited with Lizzie. He would fight off sleep all night if need be until he got to see her again.

”...where’s Lizzie…?” Olivia sighed, she was getting real tired of explaining this to him. All the alcohol had put him in a state of selective memory and he was presently in denial. They had returned home to a dark flat, no signs of his girlfriend anywhere when just moments ago he had been so sure that the second they unlocked the door it would be like the gates to paradise opening and everything else in the world would fade away to nothing just leaving him and Lizzie alone together for all of eternity.
”C’mon, let’s get you in bed.”
He was presently parked on the shorter couch because that had been closest to the double doors and he couldn’t walk far unassisted right now, ”Lizze’s not back yet….”
“Eric...Lizzie said she’s staying with her family tonight, remember? She’ll be back in the morning.
“Nooooo….” his voice was so small as he groaned into the pillow he had attached himself to, “She’s coming back— she said...”
Another sigh escaped Olivia as she now accepted the water bottle Malcolm had brought over for them. Eric just was not having it. Normally Eric was easy to handle when drunk, he would do as he was told and didn’t put up much of a fight. But tonight was bringing out a whole other side of him as he still stubbornly refused to get up even after sitting there for a good ten minutes. He was going to wait for Lizzie, she was coming home tonight.

A delayed idea hit him at last as something in his mind clicked that he was home now so he could text Lizzie on his iPod to ask when she would be home. But as he tried to get up to search for the device he found he couldn’t stand up anymore. Now that his body had been sitting for sometime he wasn’t able to stay upright for long. And quickly crumpled back onto the sofa, ”Do you want to get in bed now?”
He didn’t move to look up at Olivia as she returned to him now after changing her own clothes, instead his eyes sort of squeezed shut in hopes that the world would stop spinning when he later opened them. All he was capable of was mumbling that he wanted to stay here. Here meaning on the couch, ”Okay, that’s fine...can you move to the other couch then?”
If he was going to stay out here then he at least needed to be on the larger couch so he could actually lay down when he finally fell asleep.

After that first accomplishment Olivia found herself yet again helping her best friend undress. He was so warm to the touch and his shirt wet with sweat, the last thing they needed was him sleeping like that out here in the cold common room. At least Eric had worn a button up out tonight and that made Olivia’s job much easier now, ”Olive?”
”Hm?”
”I want to talk to Lizzie.”
It felt like it had been so long now since he had last called her. He had waited through the end of Flat Night, through the ride home and now all this time on the couch while Olivia tried to help him sober up as best she could before bed. He had been waiting for so long, he couldn’t hold out any longer, his chest hurt too much and he just felt so...sad, “Alright fine, I’ll call her. But it’s late Eric, she’s probably already asleep.”

He honestly couldn’t see straight. His eyelids were so heavy and he swayed as he fought to watch Olivia in front of him with his double vision as she now pulled out her own phone to call his girlfriend, ”Lizzie? Hey, I hope I didn’t wake you,” She went on to explain her current Eric situation and that he had wanted to talk to her before finally passing the phone over to Eric.
“Hi love...I’m— ...wait for you.” Olivia took this time to continue her own bed routine, her best friend wasn’t going anywhere so long as he had Lizzie on the phone.

Eric curled up in the corner of the longer couch, clutching the phone to his ear while Lizzie reminded him for the millionth time that she wasn’t able to come back tonight, ”No...I’m— I’ll come get you,” They were back on that again, Eric really just could not accept the reality that a) Lizzie wasn’t here like she had promised she would, and b) that he couldn’t go pick her up.

He eventually fell asleep some time later. He was spread out across the couch, shirtless but in a burrito wrap of his birthday blanket. The phone had switched to facetime and been propped up on the coffee table in front of him courtesy of Malcolm. Eric fell asleep drunk talking to Lizzie when his eyes really couldn’t stay open a second longer, ”Lizzie?” Olivia wasn’t about to leave her phone out here to die like Malcolm’s had but she made sure to debrief with Lizzie, apologize for having to deal with Eric and said her goodbyes before hanging up for the night.

But while Olivia’s night was finally coming to an end, Eric’s had already started the next chapter. He woke up a couple times during the night needing to pee and not feeling so great— his hangover was moving in more and more with each passing hour. It was just after 7am when Malcolm, being the closest bedroom to the bathroom, woke up to the sounds of Eric heaving over the toilet. When the two finally returned to the common room Eric was feeling all sorts of tired all over again and miserably crawled back under his blanket while Malcolm retrieved a new water and grabbed the painkillers from the flat’s medicine kit knowing they would soon be required, ”Where’s Lizzie?”

Malcolm paused in front of him after setting the water and plain bagel down on the coffee table for if he felt up to nibbling on something. After everything last night you would have thought that Eric knew the situation, but the tone to his broken voice gave away that he was expecting her to be here, not that he was asking for her ETA, ”She stayed with her family last night,”

”Oh…” That actually sort of helped to jog his memory but Malcolm went ahead to remind him that he had called her and she had even told him herself. Yeah, that was also sort of familiar. The exact details were escaping him but that made sense why he felt like he “remembered” Lizzie last night. It wasn’t that she was here, it was that he had spoken to her on the phone.

With last night’s memories slowly coming back to him, Eric rolled to face the back of the couch as he tried to will away his remaining nausea, ”Just go back to sleep Eric, she’ll be here when you wake up.”​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112518-----------❖ LOCATION — bedroom-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

The moment her phone screen went black, Lizzie let out a deep, tired sigh. It was around one in the morning now and after a full day of family activities with only a lunch and an early dinner as her breaks, she was starting to feel the physical, mental and emotional exhaustion. Especially after spending the last three or so hours working alongside Olivia and Malcolm to ensure a drunk Eric didn’t do something stupid. She regretted telling him the truth about the change of plans tonight and as she sat on the stool in the kitchen, she weighed the pros and cons of whether or not she should have just lied to him.

“Hey, is everything okay?” came a voice from the hallway leading to the bedrooms. Lizzie looked up from the open bag of chips she grabbed after Olivia called her earlier to find Mary coming over. Her sister looked concerned the moment she caught her tired face. “You’ve been out here for over half an hour now, I was starting to get worried something happened?”

Lizzie shook her head as she popped another chip into her mouth. “It’s nothing…” she said through a sigh. “Eric just hasn’t been taking the news that I’m not coming home tonight very well….”

Having abandoned any real bonding time with her sisters earlier to focus on Eric during Flat Night, none of them knew exactly why she wanted to go home so badly. And after Jane and Emma tag teamed to force her to stay the extra night, she’s been giving them a bit of a silent treatment. Mary has been the only person she’s spoken to all night ever since. As her sister took a seat on the stool across from her, Lizzie instinctively pulled the top of her shirt up a bit to cover the hickey resting on the base of her neck; the only one of the two that can’t be covered by simply letting her hair down. She didn’t know why she did it. Mary already knew they were there. And, honestly, if she knew her sisters well enough over the past twenty years, she was certain that at least one other sister knew about them without having seen it.

From her dispute with Jane and Emma up until this very moment, sitting alone in the kitchen until one in the morning, Mary was very concerned about Lizzie’s behavior tonight. She questioned exactly why Lizzie wanted to go home so badly and why any of it had to do with Eric. Lizzie explained to the best of her abilities the situation. She told Mary about the original plan for tonight; how she was supposed to go home and wait for the others to return from Flat Night. After mentioning how Eric had spent the entire night drunkenly assuming she would be home, Mary had her pause to ask why he was part of Flat Night in the first place.

Lizzie nervously bit her bottom lip. In the end she offered an Eric approved half truth, that even before she moved in he was always invited to Flat Night because of his friendship with Olivia. After all, it was true. Since Olivia had seniority at the flat and because everyone that participated in Flat Night generally liked Eric, he was always welcome. Luckily that was enough of an explanation for Mary and she let Lizzie continue explaining her stressful night.

“It sounds like Eric spends a lot of time at your place,” Mary said before grabbing a chip from the bag.

“Mm…” Lizzie said simply. “I guess so…”

The pause after Lizzie spoke made it so obvious Mary was careful with her next words. When Lizzie looked up from her phone, she caught her sister watching her closely over another chip currently lingering in front of her lips. Two times she heard Mary take in a breath as if ready to speak, but then shake her head. At a third inhale, she finally plucked up the courage to ask, “You don’t think it’s little concerning how...needy Eric is?” Lizzie looked up at her sister with a questioning look on her face. “I mean, like, obviously since you two just got together there is that constant neediness to be around each other. But...it just seems as if you are handling the time apart better than him? It’s kinda like his well-being depends solely on you. That dependency seems like a lot of pressure to put on you…”

That’s because you don’t know the truth… Lizzie sighed deeply then turned away from Mary. There were a couple words in her observation that clued her in on where this was coming from. Not to say that Mary wasn’t smart enough to have her own thoughts and opinions, but everything about what she said sounded like it first came from Emma’s mouth. If she needed a clue that her sisters were talking about her behind her back, this was a very clear Exhibit A.

How could she defend Eric without revealing what she was not at liberty to share? Her sisters wouldn’t understand, Lizzie knew this. Not without telling them exactly where Eric came from that made him the way he is. But as much as she wanted Mary to understand, it was not at the expense of Eric’s trust. What he thought of her meant more than what they thought of him. He was much more than what they saw and it wasn’t fair that they were judging him solely on whatever they could manage to glimpse in their short time here.

In the end, Lizzie played it safe. She told Mary about how she is his first girlfriend; that he was new to being in an exclusive relationship. Obviously, this shocked her sister. As she put it, surely a guy as good looking as him has been in plenty of relationships before. Not the kind you’re probably thinking of… Lizzie didn’t say anything though, simply shrugging her shoulders and letting the topic fade out.

“I don’t mind it…” Lizzie suddenly said after they sat in silence for a moment. “That Eric needs me this much.” She exhaled a breath she just noticed she was holding in this whole time. “Because I need him just as much.” Lizzie down at her hands, staring intently at the “9 ¾” tattoo on her finger. “I love him.” The words came so naturally, as they always have. And it felt like a rush of relief washed over her finally giving in to admit it to someone in her family. It just hit her how long she has been fighting with herself to not admit this to them for the sake of letting them get to know him beforehand. She realized then that she shouldn’t have fought it in the first place. She should have just been honest with them from the very beginning.

The conversation with Mary shifted from her concerns over his dependency to Lizzie’s feelings for him. She finally admitted out loud to someone other than Eric or Olivia how long she’s known that she’s been in love with him and how desperately she’s fought since then to have him. She admitted to her sister how desperately she wanted to make sure she never lost her shot at a chance with him and how every single thing he did from the first moment he stepped foot in the pub that first Flat Night only made her want him more and more. When Mary tried to compare him to her last relationship - the only other boyfriend her family has met in person - Lizzie cut that topic at the root. Because Brandon was no comparison to Eric. She thought what she felt for Brandon was love when they were together, but it was nothing like how she felt for Eric. What she felt for Eric was so much more. To the point that she couldn’t even describe it even if she tried.

“If I could, I would do anything for him. He deserves nothing but the absolute best in this world. And I’m not just saying this because I’m biased…” She took a deep breath. “He has done more than enough to earn it.” So much more than any person could dare try…

Lizzie spent the rest of the night wide awake and worried for Eric. She knew, of course, that he was in Olivia and Malcolm’s capable hands tonight. But the images of him looking so far gone throughout Flat Night and his dwindling voice as he expressed his disappointment in her plagued her mind even as she tried to close her eyes to force sleep to come. Every few minutes she would slip her phone from under her pillow to check if she had a late night text from Eric waiting for her. Once or twice, she thought she heard her phone ringing to let her know she was getting a FaceTime call, only to be staring at her lockscreen image of the photo Olivia took during Eric’s birthday celebrations.

When Mary woke up the next morning, Lizzie was sitting on the floor packing her things into her backpack. It was currently six in the morning. Not even their dad woke up that early on a Sunday.

“Were you planning on leaving soon?” Mary asked through a yawn.

“That’s the plan,” Lizzie said without looking up from her task.

There was a bit of shuffling behind Lizzie before she felt a tap on her shoulder. With a sigh, she placed her folded work shirt on her lap to look at her sister. “I know you desperately want to go home, but can I possibly tempt you with an offer that might delay that...maybe for like an hour or two?” Lizzie cocked a brow curiously at her older sister then nodded for her to go on. “There is this breakfast spot that I saw on Instagram that I’ve kinda been tempted to try while we’re here. I was hoping to ask you guys if we could go, but I can’t guarantee Izzy would wake up early enough to make it.” Lizzie gave her another confused look. “It’s one of those breakfast spots that close at two. And because it’s so, like, Instagram-friendly I’ve read that it gets pretty crowded by eight.” Don’t all breakfast spots get crazy busy by that time?

“Do you wanna go check it out? I’ll pay. Maybe make up for keeping you here an extra night. I promise afterwards that when we come back, you can just grab your stuff and go. I’ll back you up.” In an effort to persuade Lizzie, Mary quickly grabbed her phone to pull up the Instagram posts with the geotag of this spot. All it took was one look at the name of the restaurant for Lizzie to actually agree to the offer. Turns out, Lizzie has been tempted to go to this very restaurant as well. Only, as Lizzie would later explain to Mary while they walked to the station, she never had the chance to go because A) it was just too far from the flat and her school to merit the trip and B) the crowds and wait time just never made it seem worth it. But since she had someone with her that would be willing to wait, and pay, how could she say no?

They arrived at the restaurant around half seven. Just as predicted, it was pretty packed for a small restaurant with an even smaller number of tables. When Lizzie put her name down to reserve a place on the list, the hostess warned them that it would take about thirty to forty-five minutes for them to be seated. Well, they were already in the area after struggling to get there by train. Might as well wait. In the meantime, Lizzie pulled out her phone to snap a photo of the front of the restaurant for her Insta-Story.

Lizzie and Mary were reaching the one hour mark of waiting for their table when Lizzie felt her phone vibrate in her purse. More specifically, her UK phone. Half expecting it to be Eric calling, she quickly put her US phone away and pulled out the UK one. It was Olivia’s number, so that must mean Eric is calling. Except that when she answered the phone, the first sounds she heard was wind in the background. Even if she knew Eric was Superman, he couldn’t be up and about at this hour after all the drinking he did last night. And that only proved right when it was Olivia that spoke. She asked if she was still at the restaurant, having seen on her Instagram that she was there. Lizzie couldn’t help but laugh as she responded that they haven’t even been seated yet.

“Ah, well, I’m actually nearby. My work is a couple blocks away,” Olivia explained. Before Lizzie could even ask why her flatmate was even near her work on a Sunday morning, she added that she had an early morning at the office with a potential client. Lizzie honestly had to pull the phone away from her face to stare at it, as if that was enough to determine if Olivia was being for real or not. Didn’t she spend a full night drinking last night? She may not have been at Flat Night, but with enough snippets of the night, she was certain Olivia had at least four drinks. At. Least.

“Are you done with your meeting then?” she asked. Olivia responded that she did indeed finish her meeting. “Hang on a quick sec,” she said quickly then covered the phone as she whispered to her Mary if Olivia could join them. Had she been paying close attention to her sister, she would have caught how her brows arched up in interest at the sound of Olivia’s name. But by the time she actually caught Mary’s eye, her face had relaxed and she said she was cool with it. Lizzie quickly brought the phone back to her ear. “Come and join us! We’ll wait for you! I think there are still, like, two or three names in front of us.”

“Are you sure?” Olivia asked.

“Well Mary said yes, so you definitely have to come now.” Had Lizzie been paying attention, she would have picked up on the sudden pitch change in Olivia’s voice when she asked if she said Mary was with her. Although, she didn’t exactly say Mary. She said “your sister”. But Lizzie noticed nothing as she confirmed that she was indeed with her sister.

There was one more party on the list in front of them when Olivia squeezed her way through the ever growing waiting crowd to reach the front where Lizzie and Mary were standing. At this point, the two Darcy sisters were anxiously waiting for the hostess to call their name, which was now a party of three once Lizzie got confirmation that Olivia would be joining them. Suffice it to say, they were both very relieved for the distraction when Olivia arrived. At least they could focus on her arrival than on the fact that the hostess spent more time talking to one of the servers than checking the damn list.

“Wait, did you just say that you came from a 7AM meeting?” Mary asked, an incredulous look spreading across her face. Or maybe it was amazement? “But...didn’t you, like, go out for drinks last night? I swear Liz showed me a video of you and your housemates taking some shots on Snapchat…” Lizzie watched as Olivia sheepishly defended that she was perfectly fine, maybe a little hungover still, but that their other flatmate had this magical hangover elixir that just basically cured all. “But still, it’s a 7AM meeting on a Sunday and you still went out for drinks?” Olivia argued that there was nothing much she could do with scheduling if it came to potential clients. “That’s amazing!” It definitely was amazing. But what Lizzie found more amazing was the sudden vibe that Mary and Olivia just entered an A and B conversation while she wasn’t paying attention.

Lizzie was once again invited to join their little chats when their table was called. Since it was so close to her work, Lizzie asked Olivia if she’s been to this place before. To which Olivia responded that she has a couple times, but typically after an early morning meeting considering it was always packed by the time she got to work. It was still a couple more times than either Darcy sister so they were keen to hear her recommendations once they placed their coffee orders. But once Olivia persuaded the sisters on a couple items on the menu, Lizzie watched as Mary brought into the conversation what exactly Olivia did for a living. She rested her elbow against the arm of her chair and observed the makings of something very suspicious going on here.

This is not to say that Lizzie was being completely ignored the entire time. She was still brought into conversations as if Olivia or Mary just remembered she was there. But she only joined for a few minutes before one of the two asked a question about the other and it went from there. There was a point as the two talked about Mary’s business degree when Lizzie was able to actually pull her phone out and take a picture of the two. Surely, Eric could weigh in on this. He had to think this was weird, right?

As soon as Eric once again popped into her mind, Lizzie looked up from her phone toward her flatmate. “Hey, Olivia? I forgot to ask,” she started. Olivia looked away from Mary although there was a distracted look on her face. “How’s Eric doing? Malcolm texted me earlier that he’s in pretty bad shape?”

Olivia thought about this for a moment. “Well he was still sleeping when I left the flat, but he was also doing a bit of tossing and groaning when I checked on him.” Lizzie then asked exactly how much he drank last night. “A fair amount….He got a bit uneasy when you wouldn’t reply back quickly.” This response was enough of a segue for Mary to bring up her concerns from last night. Although, because she was talking to Eric’s best friend, she was more kind while explaining her observations. She asked Olivia if Eric was typically as clingy as he was last night, referring to his constant need to talk to Lizzie all night. Through a sheepish laugh, Olivia confirmed that he was, although Eric’s clinginess while he’s sober was more tolerable. “He’s rather affectionate when he can be, but he means well…”

The Eric talk didn’t last that much longer. In fact, after a couple more sister-level questions about him, Mary was quick to give some strange nod to the topic then move on back to learning more about Olivia. This time, Lizzie recorded a quick snippet.

Despite the strange vibe she was suddenly getting from her flatmate and her sister, breakfast was fun. The food was surprisingly good considering it was so hyped up and it was fun watching Olivia and Mary fight over the bill even though Mary had insisted from the very beginning that she could pay. Lizzie, of course, was used to this type of behavior. The English just could not tolerate being spoiled without making a fuss over it.

While they were waiting for the change, Lizzie caught Olivia stare down at her phone then sigh. “Everything okay?” she asked, concerned.

Olivia exhaled a loud breath as she forced a smile on her face. “Um, it’s Malcolm…” she said carefully. “Eric’s been asking for you all morning…”

Lizzie checked the time on her phone. It was ten now. Even if she tried to rush back to the Airbnb to grab her things and then head back to the flat, it would still be too late to see him before he had to go to work...if he was going to work. A frown formed on her face as she considered all of this. The guilt and regret from last night returned. She shouldn’t have taken her sister’s offer had she known just how long she would be waiting just to be seated. She could have been at the flat by now taking care of Eric.

The look on Lizzie’s face must have read clearly to Olivia what she was feeling. “Do you two need to get back soon? Any family plans together?” Mary answered that they didn’t exactly have any plans today as they all needed to start packing tonight. They were going to fly out tomorrow night.

Olivia nodded then turned to look at Lizzie. “I took my car today. Would you like me to take you back to the flat so you can see Eric? If you don’t mind, Mary, of course.” She quickly added that she would be more than glad to drop her off at their Airbnb right after. There was some back and forth with both Darcy sisters and Olivia. Mary and Lizzie didn’t want to impose and cause so much trouble for Olivia. But Olivia, stubborn as she always was, would not take no for an answer and insisted that it was “quite alright.”

“Honestly, I think this would be the best plan of action? I mean, look at your sister,” Olivia nodded in Lizzie’s direction, “Lizzie’s had that look on her face since we first started talking about him. And if I may be so honest, having to remind him all of last night that she wasn’t coming home got old...fast.” Lizzie ducked her head down to hide the guilt again.

So after they received the takeaway order Olivia made for Eric and Malcolm - which she insisted on paying - Lizzie and Mary followed Olivia to the private car park below her work’s building and climbed into her car. As Olivia turned her car on and pulled out of her spot, Lizzie clung tightly to the takeaway bag in an effort to distract from the anticipation boiling inside her. She was finally going home. Back to Eric. Finally, she could stop masking just how miserable she was all night from missing him so much.

“Hey you!” Malcolm greeted from the other end of the hall. “I was starting to think we wouldn’t be seeing you in time.”

“How is he?” Lizzie asked in a quiet voice, just in case Eric was sleeping in the common room still.

“Better, but he’s been in and out all morning. I’ve been trying to get him to eat after he threw up this morning.” Lizzie’s face fell again. “It’s okay, he’s doing fine. I moved him to your room after Ricki went to work. Maybe you’ll have better luck at getting him to eat something so we don’t have to call his work.”

Lizzie nodded. Before she went to her room, she followed behind Malcolm to the kitchen to grab the cup of his magical hangover juice. She traded the cup with one of the takeaway boxes, explaining to him that it was from Olivia for helping her take care of Eric last night. With the cup of juice in one hand and Eric’s takeaway box of food in the other, she finally went to reunite with her love.

His birthday blanket was brought with him when he got moved to the bedroom. It was spread out over the comforter so that he was double warm while he slept. Or tried to sleep? It was hard to tell. Lizzie quietly closed the door behind her then placed his food and juice on the bedside table. She then carefully lowered herself to sit on the edge of the bed. For a moment, she just watched him try to sleep. A worried look spread across her face. He looked like he was in so much pain right now.

As she let out a deep sigh, Lizzie leaned forward to rest her weight on one hand. The other reached out to him, brushing through his hair out of his face before letting it rest right above his ear. She then brushed her thumb across his forehead, wishing she could smooth the stress wrinkles away.

She must have been doing this for a few seconds before she watched Eric groan then slowly open his eyes. A smile replaced her worried look immediately. “Hi baby,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry I’m late.” ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112618-----------❖ LOCATION — their bedroom-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie....and ricki?
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

”Hey….how’re you doing?” It was so bright in the common room by now. Eric had been in and out of sleep since he first woke up a couple hours earlier but this was the first he had done more than groan and roll over, ”Is Lizzie back?” His voice was still groggy as he pulled his blanket closer while his eyes shut in an attempt to block out the sun coming in from the window. But that would be a no from Malcolm, Lizzie hadn’t come back while he was sleeping. Malcolm offered to see if he could get an ETA or something but in the meantime, the couch just didn’t seem suitable anymore, “C’mon Eric, let’s get you in bed?”

It took another minute or two of convincing on Malcolm’s part. Eric really just didn’t feel up to moving. He was in that stage of being hungry but feeling sick but knowing you need to eat to stop feeling sick but because you feel sick you don’t want to eat. He hadn’t gotten through more than three bites of the bagel Malcolm had brought out that morning, but he had made at least a little more progress on his water.

”Do you want to change?” They had made it to the girl’s his room now, but Eric was still leaning against the open door frame with his birthday blanket wrapped around him. It was darker in here, thank you blackout curtains, and so for the moment was actually surprisingly cooler than the common room where the sun had been infiltrating for hours now and Malcolm keeping busy in the kitchen. But Eric just mumbled a no, he didn’t want to change. He preferred not feeling a shirt rubbing between his skin and his blanket right now, but Malcolm didn’t exactly let the subject drop just because Eric had turned down his offer, ”At least change pants, you wore those out last night and slept in them.”
Eric’s defeated silence of agreeance was answer enough. Malcolm moved over to the already unzipped wardrobe and pulled out the first gray sweatpants his eyes landed on while Eric crossed over to sit on the edge of the bed. Everything hurt still, but Malcolm had a point that his black skinny jeans weren’t helping anything. He really just wanted to go back to sleep and the darkness of the bedroom was such a blessing right now.

Like before, Eric was in and out a few times while his body conflictingly fought between knowing it was well past his usual wake up time but then realizing that it didn’t want to be awake if it hurt that much. When he finally did open his eyes it was to squint up at the figure beside him, his eyebrows scrunching together at the throbbing pulse at his temple as his headache woke up to join him. It was Lizzie and just hearing her soft voice alone put an instant dent in his hangover. She was what he had needed all along. This was what he had been missing for two days. If he had had this then last night never would have happened. But he couldn’t blame Lizzie, well, he didn’t blame her. This was all his own fault, he’d lost control after assuring her he wouldn’t drink too much. Yet here he was again waking up completely hungover with her at his side, ”No, I’m sorry…”

While Lizzie’s honey sweet voice had soothed him, hearing his own rumbled in his head feeling like the endlessly painful noise of power tools and his next words dropped to a mumble in an effort to lessen the discomfort, ”Did I call you a lot?”
At least with this hangover the night before wasn’t a complete gap in his memory. He remembered texting her all night, and when she said she wouldn’t come home, and then calling her on facetime afterwards….but then after that it got fuzzy. He couldn’t timeline the rest of his night, there were little bits here and there that stuck out to him but he couldn’t accurately recall how much he drank, how often he called Lizzie, or what time any of this took place. Also getting home was a bit of a dark spot but it was safe to assume the flat had all collectively returned as a group.

Eric’s hand reached up, intending to press against his forehead in hopes of relieving some of the pressure but when his fingers brushed against hers he made a detour and his hand closed around the back of hers instead. He wanted to hold her hand— no he wanted to hold her, but he didn’t exactly want to sit up yet to make that happen so her hand would have to do for now. Except he wanted to still feel her against him, so he didn’t move their hands away from his head, just sort of held her there while he slowly blinked up at her.

She asked if he wanted to eat something and he followed her gesture to the box of food on the side table as she explained what she’d brought. Truthfully no, he didn’t really feel up to trying to eat still. He knew he needed to, but— hold up wait...Lizzie went all the way over to that breakfast spot? Eric had never been himself but he had certainly given enough directions to ambitious hotel guests to know that it was far and exclusive. He first asked her about it, a little shocked she had gone, then proceeded in his hurt mumble to say he’d take Malcolm’s drink. It was a start. He was hungry for sure, but he still needed to settle his empty stomach before he could properly contemplate actual food.

Of course in order to make this happen he did have to release Lizzie now as he used both hands to push himself upright so that he could take the glass and drink. The bloodrush was so real now as his dehydrated body adjusted to now being vertical after having been laying down all morning. Eric groaned, his eyes squeezing shut as he waited for the temporary vertigo to pass. After opening again, there was Lizzie waiting ever so patiently for him with the glass of hangover elixir in her hand, ”I’m sorry love…”

”That you have— ….I told you that I—-” The words just weren’t coming to him. It was like everytime he started a sentence his brain would short circuit and he had to start all over again. He just wanted to apologize for drinking so much and that she was now here having to take care of him yet again. He didn’t know how he had gotten so carried away last night. He knew he had been upset but was it really worth getting wasted over? Eric really had no self control when it came to Lizzie and it seemed his subconscious had overthrown him and drank himself into this current misery, ”...sorry.”
Eric’s voice was so small as he made eye contact now and held it, trying to make up for all the hours he hadn’t been able to see her.

Eric ended up showering first after drinking what he could and downing some pain killers. It was then after returning that he was able to stomach the thought of food. He had changed back into the pants Malcolm had picked out for him and the towel was now draped over his bare shoulders leaving most of his tattoos readily available for viewing with his damp hair tied up out of the way. He ate on the bed, slow and steady trying to avoid upsetting his stomach but time was not on his side and the minutes flew by until it was down to the wire. This was it, the deciding moment. Was he going to get dressed and leave for work? Or did he still feel too sick to do much more than crawl back under the comforter? It was honestly a little of both but having had all morning to unwind and wake up made the prospect of going into work much easier than after blacking out at Game Night when he was supposed to go in at 9am the next morning. He also really couldn’t miss another day. Lizzie returning had kick started everything, then Malcolm’s elixir and the shower had helped immensely. Now that he had eaten it was just a matter of keeping this momentum going. Maybe once he was up and active things would get easier, especially having work tasks to focus on and distract himself with. It was just...now that he had Lizzie back, he wasn’t ready to let her go. Literally.

Whoever let Eric lay back down had messed up big time. Ahem, Lizzie. But at least they were on top of both the comforter and his own blanket rather than underneath where Eric surely would have succumbed to the warmth. The towel had been abandoned by now, laying on the bed beside them as Eric much preferred Lizzie holding him than the towel. She had just finished assuring him that she would be home waiting for him tonight when he got off work and Eric groaned a little in protest at having to leave in the first place as he tightened his grip around her, his hands just beneath her shirt where they loved to stay. Everything had gone by in the blink of an eye ever since Lizzie had woken him up. He had just gotten all settled up next to her when she reminded him he needed to be getting dressed and leaving for work like...right now.

He kissed her once, slowly and deeply, not wanting to move and so not making a single effort to. But Lizzie had a way with him and after getting him to agree to get up she wiggled out of his grasp to sit up herself which prompted Eric to join her. He kissed her a second time before finally climbing over and off the bed. He hated this. He hated being forced away from her so soon after being reunited. But he really only had himself to blame. Last night was such a blurred whirlwind and he couldn’t pinpoint what exact moment he had lost control, but had he not gotten so drunk he could have driven over to pick Lizzie up himself and it was killing him knowing that. Knowing that he could have spent last night with her and all morning not in pain if only he had kept himself together at Flat Night— or better yet if he just hadn’t attended in the first place. If he hadn’t gone then he would have woken up in bed next to Lizzie this morning. He could have run his fingers through her hair and showered her in a thousand kisses. He wouldn’t have been knelt over the toilet first thing after waking up or miserably sick for hours after. Today could have been amazing but instead it just hurt; the pain was slowly morphing from the physicality of his heavy hangover to the emotional strength it took to pull himself away from the love of his life and Eric was dreading every remaining second of the day that he would have to endure without her.

While one hand pulled out his clothes for the day the other rubbed against his forehead as he fought the vengeful return of the bloodrush that left speckles in his vision. He then brought his uniform back to the bed so he could change without letting Lizzie out of his sight for longer than a glance down to make sure he wasn’t ruining his clothes or getting lost in putting them on. His third kiss was after he had finished and returned to stand between her legs on the edge of the bed. God...he had so many to make up for. They had a few minutes left and while he would have rather spent them in her arms, Lizzie always knew what was best and insisted she blow dry his hair so that he wouldn’t be walking out into the London cold with wet hair for the rest of the day. It wasn’t quite the same as being in bed with her, but he still loved feeling her fingers running through his hair just the same. And when he tilted his head back against her to look up she blessed him with that perfect smile of hers and he got the kiss he wanted.

Eric’s final kiss was given at the door on his way out. He really couldn’t stay any longer or he’d risk being late, but he just wanted this moment to drag on for hours. As tired as he was, as sore as his body felt and as heavy as his heart ached at leaving her, during his final moment with Lizzie none of that mattered. When he was with her nothing could harm him. When she touched him it gave him purpose and the strength to push on. And when she kissed him she took away all his pain, ”I love you,” Eric’s hand was on Lizzie’s neck, his thumb caressing just behind her ear until she had to be the one to drag them back down to Earth by pointing out he needed to leave so he didn’t miss his train. ‘Not wanting to’ and ‘being able to not’ were two very different things and Eric was not a place in his life to play hooky and just stay home and get tangled up in his uncontrollable love. His life depended so heavily on work and until Lizzie he had held a perfect attendance record. But he had missed so much work in the past two months, he needed to go…
No job = no money = back to Barking = no more Lizzie. A part of Eric knew he was being a little dramatic with all this, it was just work, he’d see her when he got home that night. But the other part of him was so deeply infatuated that life outside their little bubble was meaningless and he couldn’t bear being away from her, again.

While his morning with Lizzie had passed by entirely too quickly, work was progressing painfully slowly. It did happen to be a relatively low workload for him but the dragging sensation mostly came from the aftermath of his hangover. The nausea had left within the hour after he ate, but the rest of his body still hated him for his decisions last night. Eric tried to take frequent water breaks knowing that allowing the dehydration to continue would just kill him more, but it was on one of these breaks that he checked his iPod and found something he wasn’t quite ready to take on. Lizzie had texted, saying that her father had asked about getting lunch with the both of them tomorrow. He sort of just stared at the screen until the screen locked.

This was a lot to process and Eric wasn’t in the right state right now to be thinking this hard. He had thought he was done with the Darcys. Lizzie had returned to the flat and they were leaving tomorrow. Eric had already filed away all his feelings from meeting them and was ready for things to return to normal, but now Mr.Darcy was just stirring things back up. Did he want to go? No, not really. But it was less that he didn’t want to see him and more that he was afraid he would react the same way he had at dinner. It wasn’t Mr.Darcy that Eric was scared to meet, it was that he was scared he would end up choking in the bathroom again. That feeling had been one of the most terrifying things Eric had ever experienced. Meeting her family was a cake walk compared to feeling like he was dying. That panic was lingering deep inside, what if it happened again— ”Oi, Oliver!”
His coworker startled him back into the present saying how he was needed. The Darcys would have to wait for now. Eric shoved his iPod back into his bag but even though he was now occupied with work the text still stuck with him for the next two hours until he was able to escape back to the breakroom.

sorry love ive been swamped with work xx​

Well...that wasn’t entirely true as work was still pretty slow today, but everything took extra effort for him and it was true that he hadn’t been able to get back to his iPod until now. But it was probably for the better. By waiting these two hours he had had the time to think and reconsider everything rather than just going with his gut response of a hard “no”.

Mr.Darcy had asked for him to join. Her father was requesting to meet with him, and while that did bring its own stressful expectations, who was he to turn him down? This wasn’t just Lizzie asking, she was the messenger here. Eric hadn’t left dinner feeling very confident about...well anything. So maybe this would be his chance at redeeming himself. Lizzie had said that her family liked him, but all Eric could think about was that blindingly hot fear that had completely taken over. That was Eric’s biggest take away from dinner and while initially he was terrified that this lunch would just repeat that, he’d managed to talk himself down into being more reasonable about it. He was a pretty good judge of character, and Mr.Darcy did not seem the type to say one thing and then do another. Eric knew he wouldn’t have asked for this lunch with ill intentions, he must have genuinely just wanted to meet in a smaller scale setting. So who was Eric to deny him that? It was the absolute least he could do considering he was dating Mr.Darcy’s daughter.

Eric started, stopped, deleted, and restarted his next message several times before finally pulling up her contact page and pressing the call button instead as he fought off the anxiety growing in his stomach, ”Hey...uhm sorry— what? “ He paused to let her repeat herself after they’d both been talking over each other. Talking on the phone was still new to them, ”No I’m alright...yeah...love? Lunch tomorrow— it’s just with your father, right?”

That was correct. Even though Lizzie had mentioned that in her first text, he still just needed to clarify that he wasn’t going to be walking into another room full of Darcys. Well, it wasn’t exactly like he would have turned down lunch if it had been the entire family. But Eric just wanted to know what he would be agreeing to. He needed to be able to prepare himself for the specific scenario just like how meeting her sisters had been a very different vibe than dinner with all of them. They were down to just her father now. Just one person....but Eric wasn’t sure yet if that made it easier or more difficult.

He exhaled, hand reaching to run through his hair only to discover it was still tied up in a bun. Well there goes that nervous habit. Instead he found the cross on his necklace and fiddled that between his thumb and pointer finger, ”Uhm,” pause, ”Okay yeah. Yeah let’s go.”
Eric smiled into the phone hearing Lizzie ask if he was sure and wanting to check that he was really okay with it and assure him that he didn’t have to go if he didn’t want to. They had gone through this dance so many times this past week and each time Eric wanted so badly to lean in to her offer, but honestly just hearing her telling him he could back out was enough to pull him in. Just hearing her support made him feel safe enough to keep going. As long as she was willing to fight for him then he had to try for her, ”No I’m sure. I want to! But— “ But not even Lizzie’s perfect voice could put everything at ease. There was still just one thing he needed to do to truly feel up to round three of the Darcys, ”Do you think you could stay up tonight?” Yes Eric, she literally already told you this morning that she would wait for you to come home, ”C-could we talk?” Oh god the nerves were kicking in strong, ”No, it’s nothing. Sorry, there’s just— I want to tell you something?”

Eric bit down on his lip realizing how cryptic this must sound right now. He really didn’t mean to worry Lizzie, ”Sorry— “ he sighed shortly trying to find a way to save this before she took anything the wrong way, ”...nevermind it’s fine. Sorry, I should get back to work. Love you…”

Shit. That was a complete failure. Talking to Lizzie always came so easily, even telling her about his miserable existence the words just kept falling from his mouth. But when it came to talking about her family? Eric just completely froze up. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint her in any way but it seemed that was just unavoidable at this point.

Like always, Eric texted Lizzie before he left the hotel. But while usually he had a tendency to rush off right away wanting to get back as quickly as he could, today— tonight he hung back a couple minutes until she replied. He just wanted to know she was still awake like she had assured him she would be. She was. It was then just before 1am when he unlocked the front door to the mostly dark flat. The light was on in the common, the double doors still opened and a tired smile made its way onto his face when Lizzie’s head popped out to see if she had been hearing things or if he was really home, ”Hey you…”

This was their...sixth kiss of the day? Or was this now their first since it was after midnight? Either way, he was relieved to pull her close as they met in the middle between the front door and common room. He kept his voice down to just above a whisper seeing as how they were right in front of Olivia’s room. He sort of wanted to just stand here staring down at her, there was something about the way she looked when she looked at him that just made him feel all warm and cozy— loved and cared for— this wasn’t a feeling he was used to but it was one he was growing to enjoy. He had waited days to be with her and she was finally back in his arms for good…after tomorrow— err...today? This midnight thing was confusing.

They had moved into the common room now. Lizzie needed to tidy up whatever she’d been working on while waiting up for him and Eric had just sort of naturally followed her. He didn’t want to be alone or let her out of his sight despite how tired he was. He had made himself comfy in the corner of the couch by the time Lizzie came over to sit with him asking how he was doing; he had reached the end of a very long day that had only been made worse by his hangover, ”Better I guess?” He laughed lightly before letting out a sigh, ”I’m just tired.” They didn’t talk for long, not about the end of his hangover at least, nor did they stay long on the subject of what Lizzie did all day since that seemed to just circle back to lunch with her father.

There was sort of a silence between them now, each just searching the other’s eyes for some sort of answer to the unspoken question. What now? Was Eric going to say whatever he had asked her to wait up for? Was Lizzie going to ask him about it if he decided to not bring it up? Why had he mentioned it in the first place? He should have just kept it to himself.

But no, he had said it because he wanted to tell her. She deserved to know. And he needed to share this with someone because it was eating away at him and especially now that they had lunch plans. He needed her to know, because if it happened again he wasn’t so sure he could cope, ”Do you remember at dinner,” As he spoke, his hand not around her shoulders was reaching for hers to interlace their fingers and his eyes glanced down to their joined hands for a split second before looking back up to meet hers, ”When I left for a while?”

This had sounded like a much better idea in his head than it felt in practicality, but it was too late to back out now, ”Uhm, I mean I don’t really understand what happened but...it was like all of a sudden I couldn’t breathe. I got really hot, and dizzy, I couldn’t even feel my hands and— and then it was just gone. Like nothing had happened— “
Why was he telling her this? It wasn’t that he was scared to see her father again, he was scared of that happening again. That pure rush of fear induced adrenaline. That had quite honestly been one of the most terrifying things he had ever experienced and it was the only thing right now that had him holding his breath about lunch with her father. Mr.Darcy seemed great and Eric really wasn’t worried about himself anymore. He wasn’t worried about presenting his best self or getting approval or any of that he was really only scared of that feeling. He was scared of going out and it happening again and what if this time it didn’t go away? What if this time was even worse?

But no, that was exactly why he was telling Lizzie now. He was trying to overcome this before it took over completely. Eric didn’t always make the best decisions, but in his defense he hadn’t exactly ever had the best support. He wasn’t sure when exactly it had hit, but comparing himself now to a couple months ago Eric could feel a difference within himself as he slowly learned how to not only accept help but to now go as far as to ask for it. Even just a month ago he would have taken his experience at dinner to the grave with him while now he could acknowledge not being okay. It all circled back to Lizzie. She was the one who made him feel safe. But she was also the one he was most scared of losing. It all boiled back down to her. If something happened and he reacted poorly and it came between them and he lost her...Eric would never be able to live with himself. It wasn’t for his own benefit he was reaching out now, he was reaching out in desperation to keep her with him. He needed her, and while it had been a very long, slow and winding road to get to this point, he was trying. He was trying to be more open, and it wasn’t easy. Eric had been put through a lot of emotional growth ever since first meeting Lizzie and it was true he had relapsed several times and pushed her out, but the time between an event and when he addressed the issue was growing shorter and shorter. He was trying.

”It felt like I was dying— I’ve never felt anything like that before,” Not even being forcibly drugged had brought out such an intense reaction, and not understanding it only made it more frightening, ”And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. All the time I keep wondering ‘what if it happens again?’ And then sometimes— like when you texted today about lunch— I felt it again. Just a little. But— “
He had to cut Lizzie off before she could say any more of her healing words of comfort. He just had one last thing to say and if he let her speak then he was afraid he would just give in to whatever she said, ”I want to go…” His voice had lost its strength from his word vomit of describing his panic attack, but he still held her hand and his eyes on hers, ”So don’t try and talk me out of it because I won’t be able to say no to you.”

Lizzie had such a power over him. She had the ability to make him feel safe and secure, loved and cared for. And just about every time she had ever offered him an ‘out’ he had taken it. He needed her to not. Not this time. Because he knew he would take it.

Tonight at least seemed to finally be a good decision Eric made. They didn’t stay up too late, just long enough for Lizzie to explain that it sounded like he’d had a panic attack. Eric, with his limited understanding of the phrase, was quick to jump in and clarify that he wasn’t scared of her family. But Lizzie, with what knowledge she had attained through her sister with a psych degree and actually having a social life, confirmed and assured him that she knew he wasn’t. Something had set him off and it could be completely unrelated, but they didn’t need to “figure it out” tonight. And in fact, while it had been good for him to admit this all, it was probably best not to give it too much light right now. Panicking about panic attacks was about the least productive thing they could do.

With that load off his chest and Lizzie back in his arms, Eric fell asleep as soon as they crawled into bed. It had been a long, exhausting couple of days without her but finally all was right in his little bubble existence.

When Eric woke the next morning it was still early. Far too early for him to be waking up on a Monday. It wasn’t clear what had woken him up, but when his eyes opened he was facing the wall instead of Lizzie. He turned over immediately, a fear tensing up inside at the thought of her not being there. But she was. She was still fast asleep and it seemed they had just rolled away from each other during the night. His eyes felt so heavy as he settled back into the pillow to watch her sleep and enjoy what little time he would get with her that morning. He had just gotten her back and of course it was just his luck for it to fall on his night shifts where he already barely got to see her.

The room was still pretty dark since the only light was what crept in along the edges of the curtains, but Eric didn’t need light to see Lizzie. He knew her face perfectly. He ever so gently reached across to brush her hair away from her face and off of her neck revealing the two love bites just barely visible as the light accented the shadows of the bruising. The first one was so faint now and faded from time, he could only really see it because he knew to look for it. But the second one was still holding on and he ran his thumb over it once, twice, the third pass turned into an entire body movement as he pulled himself closer and his arm fell protectively across her chest instead as he abandoned his own pillow to share hers in an effort to be as close as humanly possible. He would probably never get used to waking up next to her. Every morning was an overwhelming rush of love and disbelief that this was real. That she was real. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve her. But here he was with her at his side and Eric’s heart just grabbed out desperately like an infant whose entire world centered around one person.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112618-----------❖ LOCATION — london underground-----------❖ COMPANY — a train full of strangers
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

Lizzie stared shocked and borderline annoyed at her open backpack. Olivia returned from dropping off Mary back at the family Airbnb while Lizzie was still busy taking care of a hungover Eric. It wasn’t until he left for work did Olivia hand over the overnight backpack she also picked up when she dropped off Mary. With nothing much else to do now that Eric was at work, she decided to unload her things out of her backpack and start her laundry. Only, that plan took a very abrupt pause when she opened it and found that at the very top of the pile of clothes she stuffed inside...was a box of...condoms. She was going to kill her sisters.

This little prank was her sisters’ doing, there was no doubt about that. She could only guess that it was because of Mary that this box even found its way into her backpack. Had Mary not seen the hickeys on her neck - had Lizzie been a little more careful keeping them concealed from her family - she was certain none of them would even consider thinking about her sexual activity. Even though she currently had none to consider to begin with. Sure, she and Eric had plenty of occasions when they fooled around with each other. But none of them ever went as far as taking Eric’s shirt off. In fact, the furthest they ever got were the two hickeys on her neck. How those four thought two hickeys meant she and Eric were having sex was beyond her. Besides, Lizzie was an adult, she could take care of herself if they ever reached that point...whenever that was.

For now there was no way Lizzie was going to tell Eric about this. She didn’t want him to think that she was going to pressure him into having sex with her now that they would be prepared. If and when the time came for them to reach that point, she would let him know. No sooner. Until that moment, Lizzie grabbed the small box and buried it at the very back of her undergarments drawer...because that seemed a lot safer than her sock drawer.

Now that she was back at the flat she noticed an instant contrast of her time at home to her time with her family. While she has been alone in the flat often, this was the first time she ever thought about how quiet it can be when most of the other flatmates were out or in their room doing their own thing. Even while she was traveling to and from the laundry room to her bedroom, she couldn’t help missing the sounds of Liam’s giggles traveling across the hall or the constant chatter of her family in every single room she walked into. Plenty of times that afternoon she wondered what her family was doing on their last day in England and would run back to her room to grab her phone to text one of them to check in. This was, of course, after a very stern talking to with her sisters over the box of condoms.

“You know what I always say,” Jane defended in that ever annoying eldest sister voice, “It’s better you be prepared than trust him to be.” Lizzie could only sigh, exhausted at the level of parenting she received from her older sisters.

The rest of Lizzie’s Sunday went as most of her other Sundays did, she spent it at home either catching up on some personal chores she needed to complete or getting started on her school or internship work. In-between her many tasks, she would of course message Eric whenever he could sneak a text during work or while he was on his breaks. As much as she missed her family time, she was glad to get back to her normal routine after such a busy weekend.

That is until about four that afternoon when her dad and Owen dropped by. Not that she wasn’t expecting them. Her dad typically had the common courtesy to inform her in advance when he wanted to visit. It’s been this way since she moved to LA. Even if it was just for a couple hours while he was in the middle of a trip for work, he usually gave her a couple hours notice that he wanted to drop by to see her. This still held true when he called her around two to let her know that he wanted to come by the flat and drop off some of the leftover groceries they bought at the beginning of their trip. When he arrived, she half expected to see a couple grocery bags with some opened boxes of granola bars and whatever bags of chips crisps they didn’t finish. That couple grocery bags turned out to be four handfuls of grocery bags with not just snacks, but actual groceries such as an untouched loaf of bread. There was so much leftover groceries that her brother-in-law had to tag along to help him bring them over. Suffice it to say, the other flatmates were quite pleased to see that they didn’t need to make too much of a dent in the grocery budget for the upcoming month.

Dropping off groceries was not the only reason her dad wanted to drop by the flat. While Lizzie waited outside with her dad and Owen for their Uber to come and pick them up, he suggested having one more lunch together before their flight tomorrow night. Naturally, considering this would be the last time she gets to see her dad until next June, Lizzie was all for some one on one time with him. She was just about to tell him about her two hour break on Monday when he added quickly that he would like for Eric to join them. For a moment, Lizzie felt a strange sense of dread simmer in the pit of her stomach. Not that she didn’t trust her dad’s request for Eric to join them for lunch. It was just that she still felt as if dinner didn’t exactly go as well as she initially thought. The Uber back to the flat after dinner suddenly flashed in her mind and she felt worried. If she asked Eric about this lunch request, would he even say yes?

Despite her uncertainty, Lizzie promised her dad to pass on the request to Eric and let him know as soon as possible.

And pass on the request she did. Lizzie was a ball of nerves waiting for Eric to respond to her message about lunch tomorrow. It came to the point that after looking at her phone for the tenth time, she had to leave it in her bedroom and keep herself busy in the common room until his next break. The only reason she knew he finally responded was because he caught her in a temporary lull in productivity and she heard her phone go off from down the hall. The strange phenomenon that is being hyper aware of a specific object even if it was in the other room. It’s like being able to hear your friend at a party even if said friend was in the kitchen while you were in the living room.

Lizzie was honestly surprised when Eric called to tell her that he was down to have lunch with her dad tomorrow. She half expected him to find some excuse so that he couldn’t go. And she would not hold it against him if he did. But even after she offered him a chance to back out before she told her dad, he stood by his decision and she backed off. That is until his voice suddenly became serious and he told her that they needed to talk. Despite his efforts to lighten the situation and play his request off like it was really nothing, Lizzie left that call once again a ball of nerves. And she kept these nerves until after midnight when he finally came home.

Their talk after he got home from work confirmed to Lizzie that something did happen after Thanksgiving dinner. Although, she didn’t expect that it was a panic attack. Lizzie knew never to judge someone that had a panic attack and didn’t know it was a panic attack. Personal experiences prepared her enough to talk Eric through what happened during dinner. And while a part of her wanted very badly to help him further, she knew that now wasn’t the right time. It would help no one to panic over a panic attack. For now, what mattered was that Eric opened up about what happened and Lizzie reassured him that if it were to happen again she would be right there to get him through it.

It’s not easy to remain fast asleep while being jostled around. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but as Eric wrapped his arms around her that morning, Lizzie was shaken out of whatever dream she was having. The next thing she knew, she was staring at a dark nothingness that turned out to just be Eric’s shirt blocking her surrounding vision. She groaned softly, scooting closer to him as he tightened his embrace. He didn’t seem to know that she was already awake now as his next movements continued to be slow and careful as if he was trying not to wake her. Lizzie took advantage of this for a moment. She relished simply being in Eric’s loving embrace. After being without this sense of security for two nights and mornings, she couldn’t get enough of it now and she wished she could keep it for just a little while longer. At least ten more minutes.

Her second moan gave her away. When Eric’s low, tired voice asked if she was awake, Lizzie sighed into his chest before shifting her position up so that she was once again resting her head on the pillow she was now sharing with Eric. “Morning…” she greeted softly. As her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting of the bedroom, she could clearly see more of his perfect, handsome features. Not that she needed light to see him. Whether asleep or awake, he was always in her mind. “I definitely missed this last weekend…”

Whatever time they had together that morning was spent productively. There was nothing short of cuddling, kissing and sweet, loving words between them as they made up for the two mornings they were without this time together. This could have continued for eternity were it not for Lizzie’s alarm blaring in tandem with Ricki’s at the other end of the bedroom. Lizzie groaned in protest then shuffled loose out of Eric’s embrace for a second so she could reach over to her bedside table to put her alarm on snooze. Just ten more minutes, please.

When she turned back to face Eric, she brushed a hand through his hair once more then dropped her hand against his cheek. Her thumb traced the very lips she kissed just a moment ago. It didn’t take her very long to lean in for another.

She eventually forced herself out of bed when her alarm went off again to warn her she now has ten less minutes to get ready for class. While Ricki struggled, as always, with her daily battle with her alarm, Lizzie followed behind Eric out of the bedroom and down the hall to the bathroom. Since she would need the bathroom for a longer period of time, she let him use it first while she took a detour to open the double doors into the common room. She just finished pulling the blinds from some of the common room windows when Eric appeared at the open double doors announcing that the bathroom was all hers.

By the time she finished getting ready, Eric had laid out their usual spread of coffee, tea and breakfast. “I told my dad that we’ll be at the ABC at, like, half four,” she told him halfway through breakfast. “Did you wanna meet there or pick me up after school then we can walk together?” They agreed to meet in front of her school. At least then Lizzie could help Eric shake off whatever remaining nerves he might have over an intimate lunch with her dad.

Once Ricki appeared at the double doors scrambling to grab whatever morning bar was at the front of the food cabinet, Lizzie knew it was time to leave. She moved around her hasty roommate to help Eric clear up their breakfast and bring their dishes to the sink. From there, she was relieved of any further cleaning duties when Ricki cursed over adding too much milk in her coffee then announcing that she was ready to go. Before Ricki disappeared down the hall, Lizzie asked for one last kiss from Eric then rushed off after her roommate. “Love you!” she soon cried out from down the hall.

Mondays for Lizzie were now much easier to survive once she and Eric developed the habit of messaging each other throughout the day. Being able to talk to him during her two hour break definitely made that time more bearable. Especially now that they were growing into the habit of actually calling each other. Being able to hear his voice today made it seem worth it to save her appetite for lunch later. Although he was quick to tell her to at least buy a snack to hold her over so she wasn’t starving herself for the next four hours.

Just like that, Lizzie’s Monday schedule was coming to an end. After suffering through the last half hour of class without Eric because he was traveling from the flat to meet her, Lizzie packed away her things and followed behind her friends to leave. There was much talk among their group about potential plans for the week. Sophie was going on about this Open Mic Night event at the end of the week. Apparently some guy she was seeing was part of the Spoken Word Society and would be performing. Both Lizzie and Anna were shocked she even fancied a guy that was into spoken word. On second thought, when did she start seeing someone?

The talk about whether they were all going to the Open Mic Night event was left up in the air when they exited the building and made their way down the steps onto the sidewalk. Lizzie had already checked herself out of that conversation to look for Eric. Naturally, she found him almost instantly. In a crowd of thousands, she would always find him. After a quick farewell to her friends, Lizzie skipped off the last step and rushed over to where Eric was standing waiting for her.

“Ready? Dad said he’s almost there like five minutes ago,” she said after their usual greeting and kiss. She gave Eric a moment to shake off those nervous jitters he still had then took his hand and led the way toward the ABC.

Her dad was hanging around the registers staring up at the menu when they arrived. Lizzie was the one who saw him first and was quick to join him in line. After greetings her dad went straight into asking for recommendations from the both of them. He told them about how he was torn between two sandwiches, going into detail about certain ingredients listed that was making him apprehensive. It was Eric that assured him that whichever sandwich he chose, he could ask for those certain ingredients to be removed.

After the big sandwich debate was resolved, Lizzie led the way to the usual table at the window. Over the months since she moved to London, she learned that the table near the window was basically a flat staple. It didn’t matter if they went alone or as a group, the flat always gravitated to that very table. That explained why Eric picked it out that first time she went with him.

While they waited for their food to arrive, much of their initial conversation was spent catching up with one another. Her dad was interested in how school went today, to which Lizzie bravely told him that classes weren’t as eventful as before now that it was nearing the end of term. “I should be focusing on the review sessions, but, like, there’s only so much I can take hearing the same five people repeat the same exact thing they said over a month ago.” She and her dad fell into a deep debate over whether she should contribute to class discussion (he was pro while she was against) until their food arrived. There was no clear winner when their server left with their order number. Lizzie was stubborn in her beliefs. “Daddy, again, even if I tried to offer up some new perspective in discussion, I promise you, one of those ‘this work is so revolutionary to literature’ robots will just jump right back in and tell me for the billionth time why it’s soooo revolutionary!”

Overall, Lizzie thought lunch was going really well. Maybe because it was just the three of them, but she could have sworn Eric seemed a bit more relaxed now compared to dinner. Her dad did a good job balancing the conversation so that one moment they were talking about her and the next they focused on Eric. That was just part of his skillset as a family doctor, being able to keep those he’s speaking to invested in conversation. This was especially evident when he somehow got them to talk about Eric’s script that they worked on together. Lizzie didn’t even know how it came up, but they were suddenly discussing how they went about making the edits.

Many topics and laughs later, Eric announced that he had to leave for rehearsal. That was when Lizzie looked up and away from their table to the window, realizing for the first time that it was now dark outside. How did an hour and a half pass so quickly? Before they all prepared to leave, Lizzie’s dad explained that he needed to make a second round of orders. Apparently when the other Darcy sisters heard he would be going to the ABC for lunch, they were quick to request dinner orders. “Well, at least you don’t have to worry about paying for overpriced airport food later?” Lizzie reasoned, and her dad happily agreed.

Once her dad left to place another order, Lizzie turned to look at Eric with a bright smile. “Okay, that wasn’t so bad!” she said cheerily. After a quick glance over to see if her dad was looking, Lizzie leaned in to Eric for a quick kiss. He definitely deserved one.

Since Eric really had to leave, she helped him clear up the plates then grabbed her things to meet her dad at the registers. She watched as Eric said his goodbyes to her dad, smiling brightly at their pleasantries. “I’m going to see him out,” she told her dad, taking Eric’s hand to walk with him toward the exit.

“Text me when you get to the theatre?” Lizzie requested once they were outside the restaurant. “I’m gonna go with my dad back to their Airbnb to say bye to the others, so I’ll let you know when I get home later. Okay?” Lizzie found herself rambling a little. After what she felt was a very successful lunch, she didn’t want this good feeling to end. She could not believe she and Eric survived the roller coaster that was introducing him to her family. After so many trials and tribulations that led up to Thanksgiving dinner and everything else that occurred after that, Lizzie honestly felt like she could finally breathe a sigh of relief. They did it. They survived. And as far as Lizzie knew, her family liked Eric. She could not let this happy high end with him having to leave her for rehearsal.

Eventually, he had to leave. Time would not allow them another minute. It would not stop so that they could stay in their precious bubble for all of eternity. So with one more kiss, Lizzie reluctantly let Eric go and watched him walk away toward the direction of the theatre. When he turned the corner, her dad came up behind her with takeaway bags in both hands and informed her that their Uber was close by.

Lizzie remained with her family for the remaining few hours of their trip before they had to go to the airport. Admittedly, much of that was spent having to console a crying Liam because he couldn’t quite understand that Auntie Lizzie was not going to be on the plane with them. As it neared time for them to collect their things and call for their Uber, Lizzie said her final goodbyes to her family.

Strangely enough, after saying goodbye to Mary, her sister asked if she could pass on a note to Olivia. Like, an actual note. Lizzie stared at the folded piece of paper while trying to hold back this deep curiosity she had over this entire situation. When the hell did Mary and Olivia become so buddy buddy that they’re now passing notes? As a matter of fact, when did Lizzie get transported back to high school? Passing notes? Who still did that?

While the rest of the Darcy family went to work doing one more sweep of the house, Lizzie and her dad walked together to the station. Leave it to her dad to continue his paternal duties to the very last minute. They said their final goodbyes to each other at the top of the stairs leading to the Underground. With dual promises to message each other when they’ve arrived home and at the airport, Lizzie hugged her dad one last time then made her way down the stairs. When she turned back halfway down the stairs to find that her dad was no longer in sight, she realized her trip back to the flat was going to be a sad one. They weren’t even at the airport yet and she already missed her family.

In an effort not to think too much about how she wouldn’t see her family again until next summer, Lizzie occupied her train ride back home messaging Eric. She really took advantage of the fact that he wasn’t exactly involved in the production, even though opening night was mere days away and it was all hands on deck in the troupe now.

Soooo like i think olivia and my sister might​

have a thing for each other?​

Also tell me why i JUST remembered that​

fantastic beasts 2 is out D: i feel like such​

a bad potterhead!!​

Yes, she realized how completely different the two messages were from each other. But they were the first thoughts to pop into her head when she took a seat and she knew she immediately needed to share them with Eric. ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112718-----------❖ LOCATION — their bedroom-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

They had just said goodbye maybe an hour or so ago but Eric was already overcome with relief when Lizzie began texting him. It was so cruel that they had been reunited on the days that they saw the least of each other. It wasn’t fair. He had waited for her while she stayed with her family and had relished in the few hours they’d had together since she got back Sunday morning, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted more. And had her father not asked to meet for lunch then maybe he could have spent those hours alone with Lizzie and it might make their separation easier to bear now. But instead he was left to come down from lunch by himself and thrust into rehearsals without having proper time to process, unwind or decompress.

Not that he had a lot of residual feelings from lunch. It hadn’t felt the same way that dinner had. He’d definitely been nervous going into the ABC, but once they were all seated and eating, everything within him began to settle down. The one on one environment was much easier for Eric because even when the focus was on him, it was only Lizzie and her father staring back at him rather than the eight pairs of eyes of the entire Darcy family. He’d stuttered less today, but even when he had Mr.Darcy had been patient and let him work through what he was trying to say. Those feelings of unfulfilled expectations didn’t resurface the way he had felt around her sisters where it felt like everything depended on his next words.

But so even though lunch had gone well, Eric still didn’t want to be alone and he was so happy to see Lizzie’s name pop up on his lockscreen when she had texted. He definitely hadn’t been prepared for the subject matter though. Rather than talking about each other they were talking about his best friend and her sister? Well, it wasn’t actually that surprising. And Eric was actually glad she had noticed it on her own because he hadn’t felt comfortable bringing it up on his own earlier.

why

but i actually think so too

olivia was asking about mary after dinner

xx​

Yes these were all separate messages in fairly quick succession. Quick for Eric at least, he wasn’t exactly the fastest texter. But he still had Lizzie’s second message to address. The second Fantastic Beasts movie was out but if she was a bad Potterhead then he was the worst because not only had he not seen the first, but he’d had no idea the second was even coming out. It was one thing to forget, she had been very busy the past couple weeks. But to not even know about it in the first place? Yeah Eric was the worst, but he wasn’t entirely sure he was ready to admit that to her just yet.

Lizzie had already sent a reply concerning their sisters— Olivia was basically his sister— but just seconds later Eric had continued on with:

we should go xx​

And thus mixing their two conversations. Good job Eric. It took a little back and forth but soon enough made plans to go see the movie tomorrow when Lizzie was off work. Eric would pick her up and they’d go together. The biggest debate over it was that Lizzie was worried about him going to a movie after his overnight shift, but it wasn’t like a movie was an active activity. It would be no different than if they put on Netflix in the common room when she got home. Lizzie wanted to go see Fantastic Beasts, and Eric wanted to be with Lizzie, so clearly the best solution was to go to the movies together. Besides, Eric knew just the place to take his little witchy nerd to enhance the wizarding experience.

Eric was to meet Lizzie at her internship when she was off which gave him about four hours, give or take, to nap from the time he got home after work to when he needed to leave. It ended up being on the less side as Eric decided to take a quick shower before he left. After yesterday’s lunch he had gone straight to rehearsal and from there to work. So yeah, he wanted that shower. Plus it would hopefully help him wake up a little more just by feeling refreshed.

When he got to Little Hopper he went ahead and took a seat on the stairs to the adjacent building. This might be the entrance to apartments up top? He honestly didn’t have a clue but hopefully no one would come by and give him trouble just for sitting here. And hopefully Lizzie would hurry up and come outside. Eric found himself just staring at the doors to her building waiting anxiously for her to step out of them. Any minute now….it wasn’t that Eric was worried they would be late to the movie or anything, they had time to spare, he just hadn’t seen her in about twenty hours and really all he wanted was to pick her up and hold her close.

A middle aged woman with short hair walked by then and Eric caught the judgement in her expression as she eyed him sitting there in the cold all bundled up with his long hair. He was no stranger to those side eye looks, but that didn’t mean he was unaffected. At least with this woman he didn’t know her. He’d likely never see her again so what did it matter what she thought of him right now in passing? But it still sort of always stuck with him how differently he was perceived in the various parts of his life. Here on the street he usually got some shifty looks. Not necessarily that people seemed to think he was up to trouble, more so just that he never really seemed to fit in wherever he went. Whereas at work he fit in so well people were blind to the fact he was actually a human being with real thoughts and feelings. So often he was just taken for granted and taken advantage of with people making excuses that “It’s your job.” Then there was his time spent in the theatre. With his troupe he was well respected and got along with just about everybody. But there was always that nagging feeling reminding him that most of them were several years younger than him and in school. Of course not all were! But it still just always hit him when they would have to reschedule rehearsals around the kids’ exams and such. It was just something Eric couldn’t relate to and created that outsider looking in mindset. But his life with his troupe stopped at the theatre, he never said much if anything about the rest of his life so there was no telling what crazy stories had circled about him. And then with the flat...he at least got along with everyone now that Ricki’s old roommate had left. But their friendship was still built on whatever half truths he and Olivia had fed them over the past two years. He couldn’t really open up with them, not without that fear of judgement weighing down on him. But never before had he felt it as strongly as he had while meeting the Darcy’s. He had wanted so badly to present well and even if he didn’t impress Lizzie’s family he at the very least wanted to be accepted by them. Every time he said anything his eyes danced around the table to take in their expressions and see how they were receiving whatever he was saying. To see if he needed to shine himself up a bit or if they could take him as is. So far the only person to take him as is was Lizzie. While she was the one whose judgement he had feared the most, she was also the one he had come to trust the most. He was definitely still scared opening up to her, like last night when he had told her about what had happened at dinner. But they had reached a point where as hard as it might be for him, he knew he would be okay with her. With Lizzie his fear of what she would think of him was shifting into something else. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it but it felt more like he was afraid that one day she might just decide it was all too much. She could be as loving and trusting and respectful as can be, but everyone had their limits for how much they can take, and Eric was scared of the day she reached her cap. That’s why Eric would do absolutely everything in his power to keep her from that. That’s why he kept pushing himself to do better— to be better. The Eric of two months ago never would have opened up like that on his own free will. But he had been the one to decide to tell her, and that had to count for something...right?

So as soon as the doors opened and he caught sight of that high pony bobbing with her steps, Eric jumped to his feet and closed the distance between them. Sort of. Well he did, but it was more so him pulling her away from the doors and closer to him rather than him going to her. As his arms tightened around Lizzie, her toes lifted off the ground and Eric leaned down to meet her for a kiss. As they separated that lady from earlier passed by now with a coffee in hand, god...how long had he been trapped in his head earlier? Her expression from earlier had worsened and she scoffed at the couple’s very public love. It was a reaction that would have had past Eric shying away embarrassed. But the Eric of today just held on possessively to his girlfriend. Just clear off lady, you with your overpriced coffee won’t be raining on him today.

”Ready?” That was a yes from Lizzie, she seemed excited but it was difficult to pinpoint whether it was him or the movie that had given her the sudden mood boost. It was probably both. He released her finally, his hand running down her arm till it met hers and they joined as he led the way down the street away from Little Hopper. This was going to be Lizzie’s first cinema experience in the UK, and while it couldn’t be that different from America, Eric was still determined to make today perfect, memorable, special. His girlfriend was absolutely obsessed with all things Harry Potter, and so Eric knew exactly how to cater their afternoon for her.

Lizzie did most of the talking as they walked, she had opinions and theories to share concerning the movie they were about to see and for the most part Eric could just nod along and give a generic response to show he was paying attention— which he was! He heard every beautiful word that came out of her even more beautiful mouth. But when she passed him the microphone and asked for his input on something Eric froze up knowing he had to expose himself now, ”Uhm…”
Eric glanced away from her, double checking how much further they had to go before looking back at her with a bit of a shy, sheepish smile, ”Actually, I never saw the first one.”

Seeing as how they were going to the King’s Cross location, it only made sense to stop by Platform 9 ¾. They didn’t stay to browse the shop today though, they had a movie to get to and while they didn’t need to rush just yet they still only really had time to snap a few photos before continuing on with their walk. If they had gone straight to the cinema from Little Hopper it would have been about a ten minute walk, but detouring to visit King’s Cross station added another ten. Eric didn’t mind, he was plenty used to walking literally everywhere. But the thought definitely flashed across his mind as he looked down to their feet while they waited for a stoplight to turn green. His legs were so much longer than hers as they stepped out into the pedestrian crossing. There wasn’t much behind his thought, it wasn’t like there was anything he could do about it unless Lizzie happened to have a portkey in her bag or learned how to apparate.

At last they reached their destination: Everyman Cinemas: Kings Cross, ”We’re here.” Eric couldn’t help but laugh lightly at Lizzie’s slightly confused expression. He understood her uncertainty, the glass building didn’t exactly look like a typical movie theater, but that’s because Everyman wasn’t exactly a typical movie theater. Walking inside it immediately opened up to an upscale restaurant type appearance crossed with a club or bar.

Eric’s grip tightened around her hand ever so slightly as they walked up towards the ticket counter. The attendant greeted them and Eric, customer service friendly as always, of course returned the hello with a smile as he went on to request their two tickets to Fantastic Beasts, ”Alright, two adult tickets for Fantastic Beasts...that’ll be £27.”
He was already reaching into his pocket for the money when he felt Lizzie tug at his arm and insist that she pay. He had paid for their lunch after all at ABC. But Lizzie was always bringing him meals and such, and besides wasn’t this a date? No he should be paying. Lizzie of course had her counter arguments lined up. But Eric was equally stubborn. This went back and forth a fair bit until it sort of dawned on him that they were making a scene. Or at least it felt like it, in reality probably no one else was really watching them other than the ticket attendant. But it was still making Eric uncomfortable having this conversation in public on the spot, they really should have talked about this beforehand…

They ended up splitting and each paid for their own ticket. Neither was happy about it having wanted to pay for the other, but it was the only fair compromise they could settle on. The ticket fiasco was quickly pushed to the back of Eric’s mind though as they traveled past the counter now and into the massive space surrounding it as Eric asked if she wanted a drink. Like, a real drink. They had to obtain a menu for Lizzie to stare at as she took in the whole experience. This was so much more than just popcorn and a soda, and Lizzie’s amazement just kept growing.

Now each carrying a drink and Eric holding the popcorn, they no longer could hold hands to walk into the theater together, but Eric stayed just behind Lizzie as they walked through the doors. He’d rather keep her in his sights than letting her follow him. It was a small theater, but hopefully where it lacked in screen size was made up for by the rows of loveseat couches and bar tables that created a much more intimate viewing experience. He let Lizzie choose their seat, he had picked the theater after all so if they were truly keeping score for who paid for what or did what favor then it was technically her turn. But once seated, and drinks safely set on their little table, their silly little turn system shut down for the day as their bubble formed and Eric’s body positioned itself to maintain as much physical contact as humanly possible. Thigh, hip, and shoulder all touched but it wasn’t enough. Eric wanted more. He was still feeling that void from when she had stayed at the family’s air bnb; they had a lot of lost time to make up for. And even though they were technically in public, they were away from the flat and so Eric was feeling a little…different. It was hard to describe, a sort of bolder confidence than he usually had around the flat. While he was comfortable around the others in one way, he still felt a little awkward at times being so openly in love. But being around complete strangers not only brought a surge of adrenaline, but it just felt safer. He would never see them again, who cares what they saw or felt about him and Lizzie? But for instance if Angel and Ricki were to see them now those two would keep bringing it up for days to follow and use it to tease.

His left arm was wrapped tightly around Lizzie’s shoulders and holding her close against him while they spoke quietly through some of the trailers, his right held his drink until it was clear that the movie was about to start at which point he returned the glass to sit safely on their little table. He first leaned back just enough to see her face lit by the screen, kissed her cheek and then settled back against her so his head rested against the top of hers. Eric’s now free hand reached across him to rest on Lizzie’s leg— or more specifically the inside of her thigh. A comfortable yet slightly possessive position where not only did he himself feel safe but he felt that she was safe here with him. Not that the dark movie theater was somewhere he needed to be protective, but Eric just couldn’t sit on his own right now. Like those little lap dogs that are all anxious until you let them sit on your lap.

Despite his position, as the movie started Eric gave it his full attention. But when Lizzie started reacting in their seat to various scenes he found himself getting distracted. He was pulled away from the wizarding world and returned to his Lizzie world where his thumb caressed against her leg. Her scent was intoxicating in the best way possible and his far leg crossed over into her space as he shifted in their seat. He was enjoying her enjoying the movie and it definitely took some restraint on his part to leave her to enjoy the movie in peace.

Eric licked at his lips, a bit disappointed they tasted like popcorn and not Lizzie. His drink was long gone by this point but that was okay, he’d had enough alcoholic adventures lately, just the one was fine. It’s just that having the drink had sort of given him something to do. A way to distract himself from the distraction that was Lizzie Darcy. Honestly Eric didn’t quite understand why Lizzie was affecting him so much right now. It wasn’t like he had never watched a movie with her before. It wasn’t like they never got to sit this close to each other— they slept together every night after all. Well...they shared a bed at least. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was why Eric found it harder and harder to be around her. Harder in the sense that even though they were together he still felt this neediness. It was like he couldn’t register that she was right here beside him. His brain was sending out all these signals to the rest of him saying that she was physically next to him, but the rest of Eric couldn’t seem to receive those messages and it left him feeling like she wasn’t there. It was a weird almost out of body type of feeling. But in a sense he simply wasn’t satisfied just having her there anymore. He found it torturous sitting in this scenario where he was expected to be quiet, keep to himself more or less and pay attention to the movie. He didn’t want to bother Lizzie, but had they been literally anywhere else she would be swimming in his affection by now. Or else he would be kept at bay by her mesmerizing voice. But instead he was left to fight his own self control which was already weak at best against Lizzie.

Honestly Eric didn’t fully understand what was going on in Fantastic Beasts right now, he’d sort of stopped paying attention. Not that he didn’t like the movie, he just liked Lizzie more. Time after time he kept catching himself watching her instead of the screen and then he would get lost with what was going on in the scene. He just loved how she lit up with excitement watching all the magic of a world she cared so deeply for. It was during one of these times that Eric removed his arm from around her shoulders and instead poured all his focus into running his fingers ever so gently through her ponytail before brushing it over to lay across the far side of her neck and out of his way. As Eric slumped in their seat his face buried into her neck for a quick moment and he just stayed there to take in a couple breaths. His other hand, the one on the inside of her thigh just pulled her closer if that was at all possible, while simultaneously shifting further up her leg, closer, and closer, and—he couldn’t help but smile against her skin when he felt her breath catch for a second. It was then he turned his head back towards the screen and settled back against the loveseat. His hand left her leg and moved to the other, picking her up just enough to swing her legs so they lay across his lap and his arms then moved into a hug position around her body to hold her against his chest. His head then returned to rest against hers while he tried his best to focus on the movie even though all he really wanted was literally at his fingertips.

When the movie finally ended and the credits began to roll Eric let a couple moments pass while he craned his neck slightly to better see Lizzie’s face. How was she doing? Was she happy? Was she upset? Did she enjoy the movie? Honestly Eric didn’t fully comprehend anything they’d just watched but that wasn’t the movie’s fault. He just came in unprepared and far too distracted. It was like picking up a class halfway through a semester and attending lectures with a wiggly little puppy keeping you busy. He didn’t know what was going on and was too preoccupied to put in the work to try and figure it out on his own. But as long as Lizzie had enjoyed it, that’s what mattered. It was still dark in the theater but the screen and safety lighting illuminated enough for him to see her features. He probably should have asked her how she had liked the movie first, but Eric had just spent the past two hours and thirteen minutes plus trailer time holding himself back. Tuesdays were always hard, he had missed her all last night and all day today, and then now after sitting in this intimate theater setting? Eric couldn’t help himself any longer. He kissed her, taking full advantage of how dark the room still was before the lights came up and exposed them. She was still mostly on his lap and his hand which was wrapped over the front of her body traced up her side until it held her cheek to keep her there with him for just a moment longer.

It was safe to say the movie date was a success. Lizzie got to see her movie and nerd out, while Eric got to spend time with her without having to either share her with the Darcys or be on his tiptoes around the flat. It had been such a perfect couple hours that had escalated to a high point that Eric had been slowly coming down from ever since the lights came up at the end of the credits. The cold November air outside had been the first step back into reality. The first step of his Lizzie high fading back to normal levels. It was sort of exhausting feeling his emotions literally draining from him with each passing minute. Or maybe it was his overnight catching up with him— probably a combination of the two actually.

Things were finally feeling right as they sat at the dining room table for dinner. That exhaustion had completely taken over as they ate. It wasn’t that he was tired or sleepy. It was different from that definition of the word. It wasn’t a bad exhaustion either. It was more like his emotions had created such a high, but when they peaked and had nowhere else to go it just left him burning excess energy and that was the exhaustion left with him. Like when the adrenaline wears off after a concert and you’re just so happy...until you’re not. There’s this little thing commonly known as post concert depression. Where you just feel….sad….feeling like those few hours were just so amazing and you’ll never get them back. And you just have no strength to go back to your normal everyday life after that experience.

That was more or less how Eric felt between bites of dinner. Only for Eric, even though the concert was over he still got to hang out with the band— he still had Lizzie. So he was saved from the depression part and was just left with the happy feels exhaustion. But maybe it was that exhaustion that had him lying down while they watched the first Fantastic Beasts movie off of the laptop in their bedroom. His head rested on her lap, and like before he caught himself staring up at her time and time again until one time when Eric looked up at her he got a quick flash of dejavu. It was an old memory by now, and one that he couldn’t even truly pinpoint. It was more so just a feeling. He remembered feeling so foggy, disoriented, free, weightless—high. He was getting a blurry flashback to when Howard had drugged him but how back then looking up at Lizzie made everything feel like it would be okay. It was the opposite now. Not that things weren’t okay, but Lizzie was his drug and the longer he stared up at her the harder she was to resist.

Drug dependency is a brutal and ugly lifestyle that Eric was all too familiar with, but until Lizzie he wasn’t really aware of how all the same characteristics could be applied to revolve around a person as well. The behavior was genetically programmed into him thanks to his mother. In a way it sort of sickened him to think about that, to see parts of his mother in himself and such. It felt like he was becoming everything he had hated about her. But no, Lizzie was in an entirely different category than the heroin had been for his mother. Lizzie was good for him, and Eric just kept telling himself that over and over again and it slowly pushed the insecure feelings away. It wasn’t that he doubted his feelings for Lizzie. Never. But there was still just that inkling of...whatever it was...that infiltrated his mind and made him all too aware that he had the same obsessive qualities that had driven his mother to her death. He loved Lizzie. So. Much. Were there NA meetings but for love? Well Eric wouldn’t go anyways. He was in too deep and he loved the way loving her made him feel.

”Hey…” His voice was so soft, he wasn’t even sure he actually said anything but whether Lizzie had heard him or not she looked down at him just the same. Eric didn’t try to say anything else though. He just watched her in silence as his hand returned to her cheek like earlier. The movie was still playing of course but he couldn’t hear it, it was drowned out by his own pulse in his ears.

His hand then left her skin to run along her tightly slicked back hair until he reached the hairband holding her ponytail in place. He slowly pulled it out, freeing her hair to fall around her shoulders and his eyes not leaving her for even a second. He took it in, all of her. Until he was suddenly pushing himself up and turning to face her. Eric’s first kiss had that desperate neediness he so often felt around her, but as his hands in turn wrapped around to lower her backwards onto the mattress he had adopted a deeper, slower rhythm that was sort of new for them. Usually when Eric and Lizzie were together like this they moved with such intense commitment. As though each time was their last night on Earth. But it was different tonight. Tonight Eric was taking it slow, his mind blocking out reality and leaving just the two of them all alone on their bed. Tonight they had all the time in the world and Eric intended to use all sixty seconds of every passing minute to its fullest extent.

Eric had placed himself between her legs and let his weight gently crush against her much smaller body. His one hand was entangled in her hair supporting the back of her head while the other held her cheek...until it didn’t.

At some point his hand had trailed down her neck and everywhere his hand touched his mouth quickly followed after until it slipped into the neckline of her shirt. His fingers ran gently across her soft skin just above the fabric of her bra before retreating back up just enough to grab the hem of her neckline and tug it down a couple inches until Eric could leave his kisses near the center of her chest. When the shirt eventually refused to give any more he returned to her lips while his hands instead went to the bottom hem and then wrapped around her from under her shirt. Even with his hands now against her skin he still maintained that slower pace he had started with. It was almost like that earlier exhaustion still had a hold on him. It had worn the overly excited nerves out and left him with this arguably more mature passion.

Eric had returned to burying his face in her chest with his hands comfortably beneath her shirt. He wanted it gone, but he didn’t want to lose contact with her for even a second. He wanted this to last for forever. He used to wonder a lot about all those weeks ago when they had been here on her bed watching Harry Potter when he was sick….when they had to cut their playtime short because Eric literally couldn’t breathe without stopping to cough every couple minutes. He’d spent the rest of that night wondering what might have happened had he not been so sick. Well this was a pretty good idea and he finally made the moves to push her shirt up her chest until he could finally get rid of it.

Having not been paying much attention to the movie in the first place, Eric had zero concept of how much time had passed since he first kissed her. But by now they had flipped positions so that he lay on his back and she was on top of him now. His shirt had been unbuttoned and pushed aside but his arms were still in the sleeves as the two just hadn’t been able to separate long enough to deal with them. Honestly Eric had sort of forgotten the movie was even playing until Lizzie suddenly broke away from him and began insisting he watch this part. The loss of contact killed him inside. Every part of him screamed internally when she pulled away from his skin and Eric’s eyes rolled out of the back of his head as they opened to first stare slightly confused at Lizzie before looking over towards the laptop.

He was sort of shocked the movie was still going as he pushed himself upright to try and pay attention to...well whatever it was that was so important to Lizzie. She was so excited over it and while Eric was sad their intimacy had been interrupted, he was still just as happy to see her happy. He positioned himself behind her, the bare skin of his chest against her back while his arms wrapped around to hold her close. His head rested against hers and Eric let out a slow exhale in hopes that his racing heart would soon pick up on the change and calm down as well.

They stayed like that until the credits rolled, but unlike back at the theater, Eric didn’t intend to sit through them this time. Watching Beasts in reverse order sort of only made things more confusing because now Eric couldn’t remember how the second one had started, so when Lizzie asked for his opinion he could really only give one honest truth, ”I think I prefer Harry Potter.”

There was a light, almost awkward laugh in his voice; he was feeling a little overwhelmed realizing how much the wizarding world had expanded and how little he actually understood it. But they had devoted all afternoon to the Potterverse and not given themselves enough time to just be together. Or at least that’s how Eric felt as he now pulled her down with him till they were lying down side by side now and helped her turn to be able to face him. One arm snaked under her tiny waist to hold her and his other hand brushed her hair away from her face to kiss her once.

Well, he wanted to kiss her more than once obviously but over the music of the credits he suddenly heard the sound of a door followed by voices in the hall. He faltered in his kiss and grew weak against her as his lips parted to release a soft sigh. He was a little annoyed now. He had wanted so badly for this to last forever, but besides the fact that they were no longer alone, Eric could feel that his earlier exhaustion now had an element of sleepy and tiredness creeping in. The spell had been broken and there would be no more magic tonight. But mixed into his sigh was a feeling of contentedness as his eyes opened to just stare back at Lizzie in silence with a small smile while his hand absentmindedly traced through her hair. As badly as he wanted her, he literally already had her. And knowing that was comforting enough. For now.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112918-----------❖ LOCATION — outside open mic night event-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

There was just so much to unpack with this movie. Just when Lizzie thought she found a slow moment in Fantastic Beasts to let her opinions, reactions and thoughts sink in, another scene would start and her eyes danced around the screen to take in as much as she could before the next scene change. There was so much magic. So much of the world she spent years of her life devoted to remembering in her mind and heart. Just like with the first film, she was so enchanted by how much more magic there was in this wizarding universe than what was seen in the halls of Hogwarts. Every advanced spell Newt or Tina or even Grindelwald cast had her giddy with excitement.

All that being said, it was impossible for Lizzie to be fully focused on the movie. Try as she might, she was very aware of Eric’s hand on her thigh or the weight of his arm around her shoulders. She was also aware of the times he watched her instead of watching the movie. Even if she didn’t turn to look at him, she knew he was staring at her. A part of her considered looking away from the screen to tease him to focus on the movie, but then the next scene would start and she decided against it.

The ultimate test of Lizzie’s will to focus on the movie came after Newt and Tina snuck into the French Ministry only to be caught by Newt’s brother, Theseus. She just finished giggling at Newt’s line after watching his brother get bested by Tina when she felt Eric’s arm leave her shoulders to play with her ponytail. The next scene started off dark and quiet, so Lizzie easily got pulled away from the wizarding world to focus on how Eric nestled into the curve of her neck. Her eyes fluttered shut for a second feeling his breath against her skin where her crescent moon tattoo was located. God, he knew when to be such a distraction at the perfect time. If asked what happened during this moment of the movie, she would never be able to describe it past knowing it started off dark and quiet. She wouldn’t even be able to say what was the location of this scene. What she can describe - if she dared describe it to anyone - was how warm Eric’s breath was against her skin. Or how he pulled her closer to him by the hand still on her leg. Or how her mind suddenly went blank when she registered almost too late that the very same hand traveled further up her thigh. By then, he had pulled that hand away and acted like he didn’t just play the biggest tease of a lifetime.

By the time she pulled her attention back to the movie, Newt and Tina were in some library of sorts in what she assumed was still the French Ministry...talking about salamanders? Wait, did Newt tell Tina about the eyes thing?

The good thing was that Eric was good for the remainder of the movie. Probably because there wasn’t another opportunity for him to be distracting. Lizzie was pretty much glued to every little detail as the movie reached its climax. She was so absorbed by the events happening on screen that she actually had to lean forward a bit, as if being closer to the screen might help her retain more information. She feared for the characters, especially Queenie. It was obvious the poor girl was going down some real dark path and being persuaded by Grindewald’s charismatic words. Lizzie could feel her heart break as Jacob finally voiced the thoughts he tried to hold back from Queenie: that he thought she was crazy.

And then, Lizzie watched as Leta looked at the Scamander brothers and professed for what looks like the last time, “I love you.” As the camera panned back toward the Scamander brothers, Lizzie just about lost it. Not outwardly, of course. She’s still in a movie theater and she and Eric were not the only ones there. But inside, she was flipping out that they would leave such a line so open to interpretation and mystery. Who did Leta direct that last confession to????

While the climax of the movie had Lizzie flipping out every few seconds, the ending left her speechless. Whether it was a good or bad kind of speechless was still up in the air. As the final scene faded out, Lizzie stared at the screen unable to properly process what just happened. Or the new things she learned and the many new questions they brought up.

Lizzie finally leaned back against the seat as the credits played. She still said nothing in regards to how she felt now that the movie was over. None of the thoughts in her head managed to form a coherent enough sentence for her to speak out loud. So when Eric suddenly leaned closer and kissed her, she welcomed the invitation to leave the wizarding world and return to the real world; her Eric world.

Upon leaving the movie theater to make their way toward the Underground, however, Lizzie finally found all her thoughts arranged in cohesive bullet points in her head. And poor Eric was forced to listen throughout the whole train ride back to the flat as she voiced almost every reaction and opinion she had after her first viewing. Yes, she did inform Eric that there was likely a second viewing in the near future.

Her main point of commentary, obviously, was the big reveal at the end. “There is, like, no way Credence - or Aurelius, or whatever - is, like, a Dumbledore Dumbledore,” she started almost matter-of-factly. “Like, obviously that whole family is just a big black hole of a mystery, so sure, there is a chance. But I don’t know about you, but like, Aberforth seems like he would be the most open about airing out family issues if asked. So, like, why did he never mention another brother in the last book? The only sibling he cared to blame Dumbledore for was Ariana.” Lizzie paused to once again let her thoughts catch up. “But also, like, timelining all this? It just doesn’t make sense either!” For the rest of the commute back to the flat, Lizzie had her phone in her hand as she searched every corner of every fandom website to collect all the information she could about the Dumbledore family. This Credence reveal, while definitely providing an initial shock factor, just did not make sense. No amount of theorizing Lizzie could come up with could explain that bloody ending.

And don’t even get her started about McGonagall….

Back at the flat, Lizzie agreed to let go of the whole Credence/Aurelius mess before she developed a headache trying to wrap her head around it. That didn’t mean she let go of the movie entirely. As she and Eric ate dinner in the common room, she had much to discuss about the rest of the movie. She was still torn apart over Queenie and when Eric asked why, Lizzie found it was difficult to exactly explain why without spoiling the first film. In fact, there was a lot Lizzie was unable to discuss with Eric without spoiling the first film and no amount of vague explanations to get her through those obstacles did the trick. It was for this reason that once they cleared and washed their plates after dinner they retreated to their bedroom to watch the first film on Lizzie’s laptop. Because of course she would have access to a digital copy. At least now Eric could watch the movie and she wouldn’t have to feel guilty spoiling anything for him.

That was all such wishful thinking though. She started the movie confident that she and Eric could continue to talk about this series once he was fully caught up. That confidence disappeared after the hilarious erumpent scene. Something more exciting than watching a Harry Potter film came up and completely distracted Lizzie from her nerdy tendencies towards the franchise.

Even though the laptop was right next to the bed, the movie faded deep into the background of her mind as her attention shifted entirely on Eric. Whatever was happening on her laptop screen fell on deaf ears as the only sounds she could register were her moans, Eric’s moans and the sound of her bedsheets wrinkling under them. Each kiss Eric left on her skin from her lips all the way down near the center of her chest had her mind spinning and she could hardly hold onto one thought for very long. She wasn’t even given a moment to possibly consider that maybe, just maybe, that box of condoms her sisters snuck into her bag yesterday might actually be needed right now. She could barely focus on anything beyond Eric’s bright blue eyes and full red lips once he managed to pull her shirt off. If she wasn’t thinking about either of those, she was thinking about how the only reason she shouldn’t be looking into his bright blue eyes is if his full red lips were all over her body.

If there was any way to pull Lizzie away from her obsession with the wizarding world, this moment with Eric was a clear winner. She wanted this, so badly. It just felt so good being with Eric like this. She wanted to make him feel good like he did for her. And she was soon given that opportunity as she whispered into their kiss for him to lie down. Once on top, she immediately started to unbutton his shirt and trail the same kisses he left that were still burning on her skin. As much as she wanted to drag this level of intimacy forever, she wanted more. So as she moved up to kiss along the edges of his swallows tattoos, her hands traveled down to his belt buckle and the button of his pants.

The brief concentration Lizzie needed to unbuckle his belt and pull the button of his pants undone gave her this moment of clarity. She suddenly remembered where they were and what they were doing before all this. That was when the movie grew louder than the background noise it has been for God knows how long.

“Do you realize what you’ve done?” Lizzie looked over toward the laptop to find Graves staring down the American Ministry. Just one glance at the scene told her all that she needed to know. Suffice it to say, they missed a lot of the movie and they just missed a rather important part of the climax. However, Lizzie was determined for Eric to not miss the rest of this scene.

“Wait,” she said breathlessly, pushing herself off Eric to look at him better. “We missed, like, this entire subway scene! But you have to at least see this part.” She missed the dazed and confused look Eric was giving her while she shuffled off his lap to better face the laptop. Since their fooling around caused Eric to miss Credence’s destruction by the hands of the American Aurors, she refused to have him miss the biggest plot twist - although she has been faced with a couple arguments that it wasn’t really that big of a plot twist - of the entire Fantastic Beasts franchise. No, she still was not counting the Credence/Aurelius mess….

However, despite her efforts to ensure Eric saw the big reveal that Graves was Gridelwald this whole time, his reaction was rather anticlimactic. Lizzie’s excitement for him to watch this part and the remaining few minutes of the movie dampened to disappointment a little. It seemed like he just didn’t enjoy these two movies as much as she did...like the entire day. Had she known this, she wouldn’t have suggested they double feature the movies just so they could talk more in depth about them. They could have done other things.

“We can try watching them again next time. Or at least the first one, I guess,” she told him after shutting off her laptop.

“We should probably change or something...before Ricki comes in,” Lizzie suggested after they spent some time simply cuddling in bed. It was nearing the time for their third roommate to come home from work and neither of them bothered to put a shirt back on once the movie finished. They just wanted to enjoy this short private time together without the wizarding world or flatmates disturbing them. As the voices outside the bedroom grew louder, they both knew their alone time was coming to a quick end. Lizzie reluctantly pulled away first to slide out of bed and grab her shirt off the floor. After tugging it back on, she shuffled through her drawer for clothes to wear to bed then told Eric she was going to use the bathroom first to change and wash up.

When she returned to the bedroom, Eric had already changed and Ricki was at her side of the room putting some things away before commenting that she was going to grab something from the kitchen. As Ricki passed her, Lizzie could have sworn she saw her roommate shoot her a strange look before leaving the room. But she didn’t give it much thought as she watched Eric get up from their bed to take his turn in the bathroom.

If Eric thought the wizarding world was just going to be yesterday’s news, he was greatly mistaken. Much of Lizzie’s Wednesday revolved around her Fantastic Beasts viewing the day before. It started very early in the morning while she browsed movie reviews of the film on the YouTube app on her phone and continued throughout the day. Now that she watched the movie, all of her friends back in LA that too were Potterheads flooded her with messages eager to talk reactions and theories. Many of them also sent her links to multiple blog posts about various thoughts of the movie and theories about the next three movies. Suffice it to say, Lizzie was hardly able to focus in her classes almost all day. When she returned to the flat, she continued watching other review or theory videos on YouTube...even going so far as to look up old review videos for the first Fantastic Beasts film. At least until it was morning time in LA and she could continue her deep discussions with her friends.

When Eric finally came home from a long rehearsal, Lizzie was two hours deep into a discussion through a video call with a couple of her high school friends she always talked to about Harry Potter. On any regular day, she would have let her friends go to spend some quality time with her boyfriend. However, she was in the midst of arguing her theory about Credence/Aurelius’ role in Nagini’s eventual loyalty to Voldemort decades later. Surely Eric can forgive her this one night while she talked about the wizarding world for another hour or so.

By Thursday, the thrill and excitement after watching Fantastic Beasts faded to a nice afterthought in the back of her mind. She and Eric still talked about it a bit that morning over breakfast, but it was more so Lizzie clarifying a point she made last night during her Skype call that he overheard. The rest of their breakfast time together was spent talking about how rehearsals have been going now that they were days away from opening night.

“Will there be last minute rehearsals the day of?” she asked curiously. “Just wondering if I’m gonna have to meet you there or if we can go together.” Eric knew already that she had intentions of going to see the show on opening night. Even though he was not technically an active part of this production, she still wanted to be supportive of his troupe. He put so much time and effort into the troupe even when he didn’t need to. Coming to watch their shows was the least she could do to show her support.

Once Eric left for work, Lizzie spent the rest of her Thursday morning returning to the mountain of work she still had to do this week. Between spending all that time with her family last weekend and all the Fantastic Beasts and Eric stuff after that, work just sort of got pushed to the side some. Suddenly, she was faced with the realization that she still had over half a manuscript to read and a little over a day to finish it before she had to BS her way through a decent report. As much as she wanted to call Irene or JKL to update them on all that happened since her family left, she knew she had to be an adult and get her work done.

And, honestly, that turned out to be the best decision Lizzie made today.

It came to Lizzie’s attention at the end of class that the Open Mic Night plans that were discussed at the beginning of the week were still up in the air among her group of friends. Well, they were up in the air for the majority of the group. Obviously Sophie was going to go regardless of whether or not the others wanted to join her. But as they made their way to the exit of the campus building, it seemed that Lizzie and the others were leaning towards going as well. It’s been months since they all went to an Open Mic Night event together, so it just seemed like a fun chance to hang out after classes.

This meant that Lizzie needed to update Eric on the sort of spur of the moment plans for tonight.

As Sophie led the charge toward this sandwich shop down the street from school, Lizzie fell behind a bit while she rummaged through her jacket pocket for her phone. She cautiously pulled her hand from the long sleeve to scroll to Eric’s contact on WhatsApp. Luckily, since she got let out of class early today, she would be able to catch him before he left the hotel.

Hey babe! Are you off now?​

She was both surprised and thrilled when Eric replied less than a minute later, but wasted no time relishing in his freedom as she tapped the call icon at the top of the screen. “Hey!” she greeted cheerily when he answered her call. “You leaving work now?” Obviously not now or else they would not be able to keep this phone call going. “Hey babe? Me and my friends are gonna check out this Open Mic thing happening at, like, 5:30? So I’m gonna be at the flat late tonight.”

Even over the phone, Lizzie could tell Eric wasn’t all that thrilled to hear this news. She was well aware that despite their movie date and everything that happened after on Tuesday, they still did not spend that much time together this week. If it wasn’t work or school keeping them busy, it was rehearsals for Eric and a renewed active social life for Lizzie. It was reaching the end of the week already and they were still battling the world outside their bubble to be together.

Lizzie considered taking back her agreement to go to this Open Mic Night event if it meant cheering up Eric. After all, she couldn’t be certain what time he would even be home tomorrow night since it was his troupe’s dress rehearsal. Tonight just seemed like a great opportunity for them to spend some quality time together. And yet she agreed to spend a few hours out with her friends?

Suddenly, a thought came to her.

“Wait, why don’t you come watch with us?!” she eagerly suggested. Suddenly the others in her friend group turned to listen. Lizzie mouthed to the others that she was speaking to Eric and this brought on a range of reactions. Both Anna and Andrew were happy to hear that Eric would possibly be joining them. Sophie shrugged her shoulders slowly then pulled the door to the restaurant open. Eddie continued to watch her while she talked to Eric. “I mean, if you’re not tired from work and all. You don’t have to if you’re not up for it. But I think it would be fun. You do owe me an Open Mic Night though.” He didn’t, of course. Referencing that time all those months ago when he turned down her offer because of rehearsal was meant to be more a tease than anything to be taken seriously. Regardless, he agreed to come along and Lizzie was all smiles when she hung up.

Lizzie hoped Eric would be able to find the location of the Open Mic Night event. She had no idea why she thought it would be held in the same coffee shop as the last one she went to with her friends months before. Even after giving Eric the address Sophie forwarded to her, it wasn’t until they walked to the Underground did it finally sink in that they were definitely not going to be near school for this. Granted, they only took the Tube past three stops before reaching their stop.

The Open Mic Night was held in a small gallery space connected to a small boutique that sold handmade clothing and jewelry. The owner of the boutique was apparently the mother of the president of...one of the societies hosting tonight. Lizzie followed behind Sophie as they entered the boutique then followed the handmade signs leading them to the entrance to the event space. She figured that this set up was on purpose; that the boutique owner probably put up a wall so that she can have the gallery space for showcases or other artistic events. It was a clever idea and definitely in line with the overall vibe of the store.

Aside from the members of the Spoken Word Society and Musical Theatre Society, there were a small handful of other attendees either standing around or browsing the store waiting for the event to start. Lizzie and her friends found a group of chairs to leave their things. While the guys took a seat to keep watch of their belongings, the girls wandered back into the store to take a look.

At some point in their browsing though Lizzie told Sophie and Anna that she was going to wait outside for Eric. She ignored Anna’s concerned comment that it was too cold to be standing outside while she zipped her jacket all the way up. As long as Eric could find the place, she didn’t mind the cold too much.

She was only waiting outside for a few minutes when she saw Eric turn the corner and walk in her direction. Her eagerness for their reunion after a whole day apart had her jumping in place watching him come closer. She eventually could not contain her excitement as she skipped the remaining few feet to meet him. “Yay! I’m so happy you came, babe!” she cheered after skipping into his welcoming arms.

“Here, I got this for you just in case they don’t, like, have anything to eat,” she said, extending a small bag with the sandwich inside to him. She had been carrying it the entire time since they left the restaurant. “There’s also water in there. I’m not sure if we’re even allowed to eat inside, so like yeah.”

As they stood outside the boutique, Lizzie and Eric talked for a while to catch each other up on their days. Neither were worried about the Open Mic Night starting anytime soon. The host societies were still setting up and apparently waiting for a couple other items...like a mic stand. There was still time for them to hide in their little bubble world. Lizzie was just so happy that he agreed to come. It was as if she was getting a do over of the last time she invited him to an Open Mic Night.

“You know,” she started suddenly with a teasing smirk, “I saw that they have, like, a sign-up sheet for walk-in performers. Wanna sign up?” ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 112918-----------❖ LOCATION — the common room-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

After going to bed with such frustratingly unresolved feelings...you can bet Lizzie visited his dreams again that night. But this time he opted to not tell her about it in the morning. As hot as it was, the embarrassment of telling her his previous dream was still too fresh in his mind. So Eric was left to fight off the thoughts that kept trying to mentally undress her in his head all throughout breakfast.

They had developed a morning routine of sitting at the kitchen island rather than the dining table and today was no exception. But Eric’s body was positioned to face her more than his food and his eyes presently peeked over the brim of his mug while he watched Lizzie busy herself at the counter. Her back was to him but that didn’t matter right now, it’s not like he saw her fully clothed back. No, Eric saw everything else. Every curve of her perfect skin, and each stroke of carefully placed ink that made up her tattoos. He saw the faint outline of her bones just visible when she moved and her years of toned muscle that held on despite her lack of recent athleticism. When Lizzie did finally turn back to face him Eric had already returned his mug to the island surface but his eyes were still trained on her, almost as though he hadn’t registered that she had turned around. It wasn’t until she called his name directly that Eric’s eyes blinked away from her chest— which in his defense was at eye level from where he sat anyways— to look up to meet her gaze. He had completely missed whatever she had been saying about Fantastic Beasts. Oops.

As Lizzie returned to sit next to him, Eric’s hand sort of naturally settled on her thigh while he offered a bit of a sheepish apology that he didn’t hear what she had said. They blamed it on still being early in the morning, and the fact that they didn’t watch the first one in its entirety last night on account of getting too distracted with one another. So Eric was honestly just sort of lost when it came to Fantastic Beasts, but he still tried his best to offer his input where he could and made more of an effort to pay attention after being caught staring spacing out.

That is until it was time to leave when Eric’s full attention was focused on Lizzie as he took in as much of her as he could knowing he wouldn’t see her again until close to 10pm that night. They stood in the hall by the door, arms around each other as they went through a pre-goodbye dance of sorts. Here in the privacy of the flat they could be as hands on as they wanted— and Eric definitely wanted. So they took advantage of this moment behind the closed door to talk face to face, nose to nose, foreheads almost touching and feeling the other’s breath on their lips before there was no space between as they locked passionately for the last time this morning. Not that this was their last kiss before they parted for the day, but it was the only time they could show off their love as they did.

Their next kiss was in fact their parting kiss at the train station as they both went their separate ways. And while they knew their intense passion was there, physically the moment was shorter and more discreet. In comparison at least, Eric and Lizzie couldn’t hold back much just because they were in the eye of the public now, but if you put this kiss and their kiss back at the flat side by side then you could see the difference.
Ever since moving into the flat, leaving Lizzie’s side has been and would always be the hardest part of Eric’s day. He didn’t turn to look away until she was one hundred percent completely out of sight. Her face was imprinted in the front of his mind for the duration of the train. And then when he missed her at work on his break? Well that’s why her photo was the lockscreen on his iPod. Her photo could only help so much though. And their texts throughout the day were just small doses of good feels. Nothing in the world could compare to having the real Lizzie Darcy in front of him, but it was that knowledge that she would be at home waiting for him that got him through yet another grueling shift at the hotel followed by a long full dress rehearsal for the show opening on Saturday night.

As he unlocked the front door he half expected her to rush up to greet him—surely she missed him as much as he missed her. But there was no bobbing ponytail in sight. In fact the flat seemed pretty quiet except for what sounded like a one sided conversation coming from the common room. And upon entering the double doorway he saw none other than his love on the couch, a blanket over her legs and her eyes glued to a screen.

”Hey…” Eric kept his voice soft, just over a whisper so as to not disturb her call at all. He took a half step away, feeling a little unsure about going over to her just yet, especially now that he could tell it was a video chat...but he really wanted to greet her properly. He needed to feel her skin beneath his hands and taste her on his lips— but he didn’t want to distract her, or whoever she was talking to—what if she was having an important conversation? Luckily Lizzie seemed to sense his hesitation and made the decision for him as she motioned him over to her without missing a beat in what she was saying— which Eric could now pinpoint was another Harry Potter debate. Err— Fantastic Beasts...they were technically different after all.

Once he was close enough he couldn’t hold back any longer and he kissed her, prolonging the moment just a second longer than he probably should have; and he couldn’t help but smile into her when he faintly heard someone on the other end of the chat call her name when she had been quiet for too long after she had angled the camera away for the sake of her shy boyfriend. There was a special feeling surging through him knowing he was able to steal her away just like that. Knowing she would put her friends on pause to focus on him 110% without giving them so much as a warning. But he could only monopolize her for so long before she returned to her conversation while Eric left to put his bag away and wash up for bed. Surely by the time he was done she would be too and they could slip under her blankets into their little world built for two.

Only when Eric returned to the common room, Lizzie was still going. It seemed she had finally found an outlet that could keep up with her enthusiasm and endless opinions on the subject. Not that Eric didn’t enjoy listening to her go on for hours about the movie, he just felt bad that he couldn’t contribute as much as she clearly needed someone to. He smiled, watching on for a moment before moving to sit beside her on the couch where he immediately took her hand in his. Eric’s eyes remained focused on their hands and how his dwarfed hers as he shuffled his body down to lean against her shoulder. He’d just wait here with her until she was done. As tired as he was he’d much rather sit here and listen to her voice than go climb into their empty bed.

But it seemed Eric underestimated his ability to stay awake. He had adjusted his position several times, and each time found a new way to maintain physical contact with Lizzie. But once he was laying down with his head on her lap he lost the fight and quickly dozed off with her fingers absentmindedly trailing through his hair. Eric had no sense of time that night, but she woke him when she was ready to move to their room and as soon as they were in bed Eric moved in directly behind her with his arms wrapping tightly around her waist. He ensured there wasn't even the slightest gap between them, he had patiently shared her with her friends, Fantastic Beasts and Harry Potter all night since he got home. But now she was all his and he wanted all of her to himself. His leg had even crept up just over hers for as much contact as he could get before he inevitably knocked back out for the rest of the night.

Thursday started out with everything looking up. Not that things had been bad, but Lizzie was finally down from her Harry Potter high and Eric would be able to go straight home after work and finally get the time with her he was so long overdue for. It felt like they never got to rest after her family had left. Life just sped on by and they were holding onto each other as tight as they could trying to keep up and fighting for each and every moment together they could get. So when he pulled out his iPod to let his love know he was on his way back, Eric couldn’t suppress the smile on his face when he saw that she had already texted him about it. He loved knowing that she was excited as he was for their day to be over.

Opening up the keyboard in WhatsApp, Eric quickly typed ‘yes’. Then paused and just as quickly deleted the three letters and instead opted to call her. It was both faster and would give him the pleasure of hearing her voice which he had been without since that morning. Maybe Lizzie wanted to meet up somewhere on their way home, or maybe she had an idea for dinner, or maybe— ”Oh…”

Hearing that she had made plans was definitely not remotely close to what he had been expecting. In fact that was so far off his radar that it left Eric standing stunned and speechless as his eyes dropped to his feet. He tried real hard to not let on how upsetting this news was. He tried to sound supportive and excited for her. But the reality was that it was a crushing feeling knowing he had to go back to the flat and be by himself until late that night. Technically it was only fair considering Lizzie had waited up for him last night, it was his turn now to wait up. But...he had been looking forward to seeing her. She was literally the only thing to get him through each day. He had put all his eggs in one basket and was counting on seeing her as soon as he got off work. Now he had to reel himself back in and remind himself yet again that while Lizzie might be all he had, she had so much more and it wasn’t right for him to keep her from living the rest of her life.

It wasn’t until after hanging up that Eric began to process what he had just gotten himself into. He had been so quick to agree with any and everything she said that he didn’t exactly remember that he was being invited to go with them. Lizzie had specifically said “us”. This wasn’t an Eric and Lizzie date night, this was an Eric tagging along with Lizzie and her friends night. Which in itself was fine...except that he had just gotten through meeting the entire Darcy clan. Lunch with her sisters, dinner with everyone and then lunch with her father….sure meeting up with her friends would be a much easier social setting but it was still a constant pressure on his insecurities and Eric could really do with a break from stressing about their relationship.

It was honestly not a big deal. Rationally Eric knew he was being stupid, but he couldn’t help feeling anxious anymore than he could have avoided falling in love. Life just seemed to love throwing him into back to back trials. Maybe one day he could cash out on good karma and live stress free just happily in love. Maybe. Well it was a bit of a journey to the venue so Eric had time to calm down and come to terms with the fact that his Lizzie time this evening would be shared with however other many people she was going with. Historically Eric was terrific at being gracious for what little he could get, but the longer he had Lizzie the more spoiled and selfish he became. Only when it came to her though. Only with Lizzie did this obsessive side come out. But it was also only with Lizzie that he was able to drop his guard and he absolutely melted into her arms when he finally found her standing outside waiting for him.

His heart had skipped a beat when he first caught sight of her. But now holding her tight he felt it settle back to resting rate as he let out an exhale against her neck just before they separated so as to be able to see one another. After declaring how much he had missed her and then thanking her for the sandwich, Eric shared his long day at work with her and gave her the sparknotes version of the incidents that had kept him away from his iPod longer than he would have liked. All in all it wasn’t an awful day, but working in customer service was just so draining and unfortunately there were always more bad stories than good. The sandwich tied into one story of how he hadn’t been able to finish lunch earlier because they needed help dealing with a particularly demanding and difficult guest. So Lizzie just about saved him with the sandwich.

Just a few months ago, barely eating all day wouldn’t have affected him so much, but with Lizzie in his life now he had grown accustomed to eating proper meals— or at least decent snacks— regularly everyday. His body was expecting to be fed and honestly he was pretty hungry after a full day at work, and what if they were going to drink tonight?? So the sandwich probably saved his life just a little bit. Of course Eric could have survived the night just fine without it and with only Lizzie at his side. She was more than enough for him. More than enough but simultaneously never enough. She was always so perfect and made things right in his world, but he always was left wanting more. So long as she was with him he was fine, but it was like he was one of those laptops that just can’t hold a charge. So long as he was plugged in— so long as he had Lizzie— he was fine. But the second his charger left his power dropped drastically. It wasn’t exactly a healthy dependency, but it was the only way Eric could cope. He was at a point in his life that he genuinely needed her there with him for him to have the will to keep pushing on. Eric’s life was nothing without Lizzie, and it was partially because of that that he always strived to do every little thing he could for her. Anything she wanted he would see she got it. She wanted to stay up last night and debate Harry Potter, so he stayed up with her. She wanted him to come to this Open Mic Night, so he came for her. She wanted him to perform tonight, so he—

Wait hold up. Rewind a second. Perform? Eric couldn’t pinpoint why but at that moment he felt his throat tighten and something in him just did not want to move forward. He was never one to get stage fright or even really be all that nervous about public speaking or approaching strangers. Besides the Darcys or anyone intimately tied to Lizzie. But something right now had him hesitant to give in to Lizzie now. He wanted so badly to please her, but the thought of singing right now just felt so exposing and he couldn’t shake the feeling.

“Uhm,” Eric’s fingers ran through his hair while he mulled over his options one last time, ”I dunno...I don’t have my guitar with me—besides I don't have any new songs anyways.” First of all, that was such a lie. But regardless, he could have played an older song. It’s not like anyone here would know the difference. Or sing another cover song— The Beatles were always there just waiting for him to sing! But something just felt different this time compared to karaoke with the flat or that flat night back when Lizzie first moved in. Somehow having Lizzie herself asking him to sing just felt way too personal right now and Eric wasn’t able to distance himself and see the larger picture. She suggested he perform and his mind had immediately blocked out the rest of the world and the only thing he could think of was that he had a song specifically written for Lizzie and he wasn’t sure he was brave enough to share it. It was like he was stuck in a mental loop where his only options were to say no to the love of his life, or introduce her to Sweet Creature. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place and Eric chose the rock. As much as he pained him to turn Lizzie down, it was the easier option than opening his heart like that. So Eric didn’t go for it, and whether or not it upset her, Lizzie didn’t make a show of it or didn’t push him further.

She didn’t need to, Eric would spend the rest of the night replaying that moment over and over again in his head. It sort of made him sick. He hated knowing he lied to her even over something so small and arguably insignificant. They had been through so much that depended on honesty, and here he had flat out lied to her face instead of simply telling her he didn’t want to. It was perfectly fine to not want to perform or not be in the mood. And it’s not like Lizzie knew what he was fighting himself over surrounding his most recent song that she likely didn’t even know existed. This sickening guilt was solely Eric hating that he felt he let her down. And it had him clinging to her hand like a little kid as he followed just behind while she led the way into the boutique so they could find her friends before the performances began.

The downside to following along with Lizzie’s spur of the moment invitation was that Eric didn’t get to go back to the flat and change out of his work clothes. Since moving in he stopped carrying a change of clothes everywhere and now usually only brought a t-shirt or something simple to change into if he had rehearsal after rather than a whole outfit. So here he was in this little boutique, surrounded by university students, and he was all dressed up head to toe from work but with his backpack over one shoulder. Eric hadn’t put much thought to it, it was his work uniform so there wasn’t much he could do about it. At least it was professional and not an obnoxiously bright polo with a giant logo. But he could still feel some stares and glances as they made their way back to where Lizzie’s friends were all waiting for them.

He’d met Anna and Andrew already, so that cut the introductions in half as they exchanged their “Good to see you again”s. Next up was the other guy in the group, Eddie, and something about him seemed weirdly familiar. He couldn’t exactly place his finger on it. Even as Eric’s attention was shifted to the girl, his mind was circling back to Eddie. He knew they hadn’t met before, but Eric couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d seen him somewhere. He was honestly so distracted by this that he completely missed the girl’s name after Lizzie introduced them. So sorry Sophie.

It was then that Eric watched in slow motion as the Eddie character passed a beverage to Lizzie saying he had grabbed one for her while she was outside, ”Sorry mate,” He had directed his attention back to Eric now, ”Wasn’t sure if you’d make it on time, but there’s plenty more over there and some food if you wanted to go get some.”
Eric was caught a little by surprise with Eddie’s tone and it only further frustrated him that he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was about Eddie that rubbed him the wrong way.

Wasn’t sure if you’d make it on time. Right. That sounded a little more like an excuse than a reason. Lizzie clearly told them all he was coming, it’s not like he was dropping in unannounced. And she had been waiting outside for him, so if he was late then wouldn’t she have come in late as well? Yet he could only grab enough for Lizzie because “Eric might be late”....okay Eddie, sure. Eric really was never one to judge people on their first encounter, but Eddie just didn’t sit well with him, ”Thanks...Lizzie actually brought me food though so I’m alright.”

Eric was so thankful when the event finally started. He wasn’t sure how much small talk with her friends he could take. If he heard one more sentence begin with “So Eric”, he would probably lose his mind. He was all for socializing and meeting Lizzie’s friends. He genuinely wanted to leave a good impression and actually get to know the people she spent her days with. But between Eddie and Sophie(he had finally learned what her name was), a lot of the questions didn’t give off the same welcoming vibe that Anna and Andrew had given him those couple weeks ago. His attire had been brought up as his suit was a little overdressed for the venue, which naturally led to what he did for work, and figuring out that he wasn’t a student like they were— Eric was just glad it was over and he could instead pay attention to the side event of the night: Open Mic Night. Lizzie herself was the main event, after all she was the only reason he had come.

He did begin to relax and enjoy the performances, his fingers tapping along to the music while mouthing along with any lyrics he knew during cover songs. But he was never able to fully devote himself to paying attention. Much like their date at the cinema, Eric ended up watching her more than what they had come to see. As he looked down at Lizzie he did his best to fend off his regret and earlier guilt over lying to her, but he found himself getting jealous of the way she watched the other performers. That should be him. He should be the one up there singing. He should be the one putting all that adoration and marvel in her eyes. Instead he was here beside her, which technically was his favorite place to be, but right now her attention wasn’t exclusively on him the same way his attention was on her.

But it seemed he wasn’t the only one focused on her. Several times Eric caught Eddie glancing over at them, and each time Eric would tighten his hold or increase his contact with Lizzie depending on how they were situated at the moment. Anytime Eddie would talk to her it was like Eric just turned invisible. It was a weird feeling, like he was being ignored even though they weren’t even talking. And the whole time Eric was still trying to pinpoint where, when, why and how Eddie seemed so familiar.

By the end Eric was thoroughly upset by Eddie’s presence and tired from a long day of work; he was so ready to leave. He just wanted to get back to their room where he could lay in the dark with Lizzie’s fingers running through his hair in that calming fashion of hers. Close his eyes and let her voice lead him to dreamland.

Lizzie was all a buzz, excited from the performances and talking quickly as she recalled her favorites. Even though Eric had been rather distracted with her and Eddie, he was at least able to add his own input in this time compared to their Fantastic Beasts date. He still was thoroughly confused with those movies…
As they got to their feet Eric was quick to pull Lizzie’s coat off the back of her chair. He reached to take her bag from her and exchanged it with her coat so she could put it on and adjust her clothes and hair and such as she liked it. As she reached her hand out to take her bag back he instead placed his hand in hers and leaned down to kiss her—something he had been longing to do the entire show. He kept it slow, taking full advantage of the flurry of movement around them as the rest of the audience was gathering their belongings and all chatting away. He pushed his hand further into her’s, interlacing their fingers so when he did finally break their kiss he pulled her forward those extra couple half steps so they were just a breath apart, ”Hey love…”
Despite having been sitting directly next to each other all night it sort of felt like he hadn’t seen her in a long time and he smiled as his hand not holding hers reached up to brush away her baby flyaways, ”Ready to go?”

Eric was definitely ready to head home, but he agreed to wait a little longer so Lizzie could say her farewells and she mentioned something about wanting to speak to one of the performers before they left. That was fine, Eric was fine waiting. Eddie had disappeared for the moment, Eric hadn’t caught where he went to but he honestly didn’t care. He was happy just being alone with Lizzie. Well, Anna and Andrew were still with them, but that Sophie girl had walked away as well. He could hear Lizzie and Anna excitedly talking, but as for the subject matter he couldn’t quite make it out. Eric was tired and it was showing. He was standing just behind Lizzie, his hand sliding across her stomach and his long fingers slipping just barely into her waistband as he pulled her back to press against his chest. It was a silent demand for her attention but just as he did Eddie returned and stole Lizzie’s focus away as he asked her a question.

Eric was content enough for the time being just holding Lizzie and waiting for her to be ready to leave. He was tired, sure, but Eric could handle tired. In fact he could handle a lot for Lizzie’s sake, and he had in general— but then the conversation shifted to a topic that Eric couldn’t handle and he raised his head from resting against hers as her late mother was brought up. Lizzie spoke so easily of her…but that wasn’t exactly what unsettled him so. It was the fact that Eddie had been the one to bring her up in the first place as though this was a casual everyday conversation. Like it wasn’t a big deal or upsetting to bring up her mother.

His grip on her loosened while a sickening sensation grew in the back of his throat. Why did Eddie have this particularly personal piece of knowledge but he didn’t? Maybe if it had been something like her favorite book, or movie. Her favorite color or coffee order. The fact she had a cute little dog or ridiculously large family. Or— well...Eric already knew all of those things. He thought he knew Lizzie so well— and he did! But this caught him completely off guard and he really couldn’t tell which bothered him more: the fact that Eddie knew and he didn’t, or that it was about her deceased mother. The mum card was always an especially sensitive subject for him.

Eric had completely lost physical contact with her by now, his hands finding their way into his pockets after running once though his hair. His eyes had trailed off away from his nemesis to look around the venue, but he wasn’t actually looking at anything in particular. Eric’s mind was lost and clouded, his heart heavy and that nauseating feeling was traveling down his throat to a more permanent residence in his stomach. An anger was settling in as his own mum breached his thoughts; after all this was all her fault. If she hadn’t died then he wouldn’t be struggling so badly through life, he could be the put together student having personal talks with Lizzie without completely shutting down at the mention of someone’s mother. If she hadn’t died then maybe he wouldn’t have spent the past two weeks in a constant state of anxiety over trying to impress all of Lizzie’s important people. If she hadn’t died then he wouldn’t be drowning in debt and insecurities, feeling threatened by every guy who so much as looked in Lizzie’s direction the way Eddie was right now.

“Shame I didn’t drive tonight, I could have offered to take you home.”
Something in Eric’s head just clicked into place as Eddie’s words slipped through his brain fog. All of a sudden he knew exactly where he recognized Eddie from. He had seen him at least twice before but both times Eric had been blinded by his feelings and too starstruck by Lizzie to get a good look at the other guy. But now he knew. He knew and he wished he could go back to the beginning of the evening when he just thought Eddie was a bit of a creep. Creep Eddie was fine, Eric could deal with creep Eddie. But now Eddie was the guy who drove her home on that day. Eddie was the guy Eric spent the following week comparing himself to over and over again. Eddie was the physical manifestation of everything his insecurities were anxious over. And Eddie was standing closer to Lizzie than he needed to be—

”I’ll take her home.” Eric had very little pleasantries left to mask the cold tone his voice took. His eyes were locked on Eddie while his arm moved to reconnect with Lizzie as it snaked up around her shoulders and pulled her against him.

When they did officially leave, Eric was silent. He didn’t say a word the entire walk to the station. He couldn’t! Eric’s mind was thirty one days ago— seven hundred and forty four hours— forty four thousand six hundred and forty minutes— he was trapped in the awful memories of October 29th. In fact they were replaying over and over again on a loop in Eric’s head until he wasn’t even sure what he was mad about anymore.

”You never told me that...about your mum,” The station was pretty empty while they waited for their train and Eric had finally caved. He had both found his voice and resumed his habit of cutting her off when he was upset, ”—but you told him?”

He lost his temper and snapped once more before their train arrived, but still gave no clarity as to what exactly was bothering him. They ended up traveling in a sort of tense silence the rest of the way home. Partly to not make a scene, and partly to allow them both— but particularly Eric— time to cool off and not rush into an argument head first. He hated this even more than he had hated his Eddie realization. He hated being at odds with Lizzie and it always felt like their fights were over the same things over and over again. It was like he never learned and continued to make the same mistakes over and over and over again. He knew Lizzie would want to talk about it. And he knew it wasn’t fair for him to be taking out his frustrations on her. But that knowledge wasn’t strong enough to stop him from beelining straight to the bathroom when they reached the flat. It was the one place he could hide away and have the privacy to just completely drop his guard; not to mention he had needed to pee since Lizzie was saying her goodbyes at the venue.

A shower probably would have been a good idea, but Eric couldn’t stop fidgeting and simply didn’t have the capacity for self care right now. Not when he knew Lizzie was just outside and he had all these truly heavy feelings bashing him left and right. He felt awful for snapping at her earlier. He felt hurt that she had told Eddie something personal about her but not him. He felt insecure over his boyfriend capabilities knowing that prince perfect Eddie was very much present in Lizzie’s life. He felt angry that his mum had weaseled her way back into the middle of his relationship yet again. And he still felt guilty for lying to her to get out of performing. Why didn’t he just say he didn’t want to? Why didn’t he just tell Lizzie he didn’t feel up to going out tonight? Why didn’t he—

In the end it always circled back to Lizzie and how desperate he was to make her happy. His willingness to do anything for her was backfiring and turning borderline unhealthy. Eric really struggled with the inbetweens. It was easy before they were a couple and he just hid everything from her. And it was easy after she found out everything because he could finally relax and breathe easily. But the inbetweens and acts of finding things out were very difficult for Eric. Time after time Lizzie had proved she would accept anything he threw at her, but somehow that just made it harder. It was a constant feeling of “what if this is it?” What if this is the breaking point? What if she’s at her limit and can’t take more of his shit? The curtain had been lifted and Eric was all sorts of exposed to her now. The goods were great. The love and trust he had for her was out of this world. But the bads were unbearable and each hiccup in their relationship felt like it was the end. What if he walked out of the bathroom and she told him that was it? That they were over?

All Eric wanted more than anything right now was for her to hold him and kiss away all the pain that he repeatedly allowed to run rampant through his heart, mind and soul.

”...Lizzie?” Eric’s voice was so extra small as he turned the corner from the hallway to stand in the double doorway to the common room. He glanced over once just to confirm that she was in fact in there but was otherwise unable to meet Lizzie’s gaze from where she sat over on the couch. After leaving the bathroom he had checked their room first but she wasn’t in there, so still in his work clothes he moved on to the next possible room where he had found her. Just as he had predicted, she didn’t want for them to go to bed without some mention of what happened earlier. Too many times had they gone hours or even days after a conflict only to find out it was all just a misunderstanding. But was that all it was this time? Just another misunderstanding?

Eric opened his mouth as though to speak. Paused. Inhaled sharply and then after closing the doors, made his way over to sit with her. He still struggled to meet her eyes, he was far too trapped in his head to recognize that she was more concerned than disappointmented in him. And he was too overcome with ashamed feelings of guilt to have the courage to speak his side without feeling like he was completely in the wrong. Technically he was entitled to his own opinions. He was allowed to feel hurt by something and then tell her about it. But right now it didn’t feel like that. Right now it felt more similar to having to admit that he was completely at fault and that he was the one ruining their relationship.

”Love...I— “
Communication wasn’t a strength of Eric’s. Literally anyone could tell you that. But so now having something so entirely dependent on it….it was another moment or two before Eric found the strength to ask about what had been haunting him for the past month, ”Your friend Eddie— did— so he was the one that drove you home? Back in October…”
He was finding it hard to specifically name it as “the day they fought”, but if Lizzie needed the clarification he would push on, ”How— uhm...does he do that often?”

Was it clear yet what had gotten under his skin earlier? Asking about Eddie was the last thing he wanted to do. He didn’t want to sit and hear all this about him and Lizzie. But what felt even worse was then having to clarify that he wasn’t trying to accuse her of cheating or anything remotely similar. It wasn’t that he was worried Lizzie would be interested in someone else, ”You know he fancies you, right?” He couldn’t help but blurt it out after Lizzie tried to defend herself and assure him that there was nothing to be worried about. But Lizzie wasn’t the one he was concerned over, it was Eddie who had him freaked. And it was that he didn’t feel he deserved her. Eric saw everything that he wasn’t in Eddie. And he felt like he was holding Lizzie back, and the fact that they were even having this conversation was proof that he was more trouble than he was worth.

Eric was locked in a steady downward spiral. He had started off decently strong with his questions about Eddie and wanting to know all about him and Lizzie’s relationship. And the confessions about his insecurities were hard to admit. But stumbling through his apology for snapping at her was rough. He felt so stupid now compared to how angry he had been earlier. Eric pulled his hand away when she reached for him, instantly regretted it and then quickly got to his feet as his needy anxieties grabbed at his heart. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her right now. In fact he wanted her more than anything in the world. But he didn’t deserve her right now. Not when he fucked up their night…again.

The last thing he deserved right now was to be comforted by the one he had hurt, even if he was hurting just as much. Eric had put himself in this position and as torturous as it was, he didn’t have the self esteem to allow himself feel better.

“Lizzie I— I lied earlier,” he was finally getting to his original guilt over lying to her, but of course leaving it at that was such an unfair cliffhanger as he paused to gauge her reaction. Eric was a bit of a nervous wreck over this whole conversation and he hadn’t exactly calmed down at all, but he was just so desperate to fix things for them. He needed to fix this.

”I said I didn’t have any new songs. But actually I...I wrote something for you,” He could tell Lizzie was getting a little excited; intrigued by the news that he had specifically written a song for her, so Eric was quick to try and crush those expectations by going on to explain how he had written it that week she was in Paris after their fight.

His guitar was conveniently in the common room already and Eric swallowed back the lump in his throat as he undid the latches of the case and took it out. Was Lizzie as tense as he was right now? Was this even the right move to make? Was singing some song really going to fix tonight? It was a stretch but Eric just really needed to get this off his chest. It was so hard for him to openly talk about his feelings, and keeping this from her felt like he was keeping a secret and he had promised her no more secrets. Talking was hard for Eric, and always had been. But that’s where his creative outlets came into play. Some people preferred talking face to face, others found it easier to express themselves over text message. But for Eric it was through writing stories and songs— this was giving him such dejavu as he returned to sit on the couch with her. This couch was quickly becoming their talk spot.

Eric strummed his guitar once to test the tune as his eyes finally settled on Lizzie. He was fighting the deeply rooted instinct to run and lowered his gaze down to the strings as he started up the opening chords without saying anything else. He had already prefaced this song by explaining he wrote it during their fight. How he had been so lost without her. How he didn’t know how to exist without her anymore.

”Sweet creature
Had another talk about where it's going wrong
But we're still young
We don't know where we're going but we know where we belong

And ohhhh, we started
Two hearts in one home
It's hard when we argue
We're both stubborn, I know

But ohh
Sweet creature, sweet creature
Wherever I go, you bring me home
Sweet creature, sweet creature
When I run out of road, you bring me home.”

Eric bit down on his lower lip during the couple seconds between verses. He felt so isolated sitting in front of her, but he had literally placed himself here. He had been the one to shy away from her touch earlier so he only had himself to blame for feeling this way. Lizzie literally hadn’t done anything. He had gotten all worked up over her, and Eddie, and her mum, and his mum, and their fights, and his failures….he had done this to himself, and yet again he was before her asking for forgiveness.

”Sweet creature
Running through the garden, oh, where nothing bothered us
But we're still young
I always think about you and how we don't speak enough

And ohhhh, we started
Two hearts in one home
I know it's hard, we argue
We're both stubborn, I know

But ohh
Sweet creature, sweet creature
Wherever I go, you bring me home
Sweet creature, sweet creature
When I run out of road, you bring me home.”

He was nearing the end. The rest of the song consisted of repeated lines. Just like Eric; just like a stupid broken record. How many times had he told her how unworthy he felt? How many times had he felt threatened by literally anyone in her life? He knew she loved him. She had fought to be with him. But the reality just felt like trying to mix oil and water. He was just so broken and difficult and struggling so hard with this relationship thing. Lizzie was so happy all the time and jumped at any occasion to show him off. While all Eric could do was cling to her for fear that if he didn’t she would go too far too fast and he would never be able to keep up.

”And ohhh, when we started
Just two hearts in one home
It gets harder when we argue
We're both stubborn, I know

But ohh
Sweet creature, sweet creature
Wherever I go, you bring me home
Sweet creature, sweet creature
When I run out of road, you bring me home
You bring me home.”​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 113018-----------❖ LOCATION — flat common room-----------❖ COMPANY — a good book...debatable
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

Even though Eric turned down her suggestion to perform at Open Mic Night, Lizzie was still going to enjoy tonight. It wasn’t like she expected him to say yes to her suggestion. She hoped, of course. But he wasn’t always obligated to show off how talented he was musically for her benefit. She just really wanted to hear him sing though….

Regardless, the Open Mic Night event was still enjoyable. Lizzie had no doubts that there would be talented performers on tonight’s program whether they were scheduled or walk-in. Whether it was someone reciting some poem or monologue or a musician premiering their latest work, Lizzie enjoyed every minute of it. Tonight was only made more enjoyable because she got to spend this time with Eric at her side. Despite much of her concentration on the stage watching act after act perform, she was still very aware every time Eric’s arm twitched against her back or whenever his thumb brushed against her thigh. Unlike their Fantastic Beasts date though, she was doing a better job hiding how distracting his simple touches could be.

There was something about a good Open Mic Night event that always left Lizzie feeling...accomplished? No, that didn’t seem like the right word. After all, it wasn’t like she took a turn up on stage. It was equivalent to watching a good play, like a really good play, where you’re left pondering over the tiny details of scenes as it replayed over and over in an attempt to retain it to memory. That’s how Lizzie felt right now as the audience’s applause died down and everyone started collecting their things to leave. As soon as the amps were turned off and both hosting societies migrated to the stage to clean up, the small gallery room was abuzz with multiple discussions. Lizzie was quickly dragged into a couple of those discussions with her friends as she and Eric collected their things.

That is until Eric leaned in to kiss her. It had been a couple or so hours since their reunion kiss outside the boutique and this one did the trick to clear her mind long enough to enjoy the moment. Obviously, any moment she could get Eric’s lips on hers was worth tuning the world out and this was no exception. It didn’t matter to her that both Anna and Andrew were looking at them with teasing looks. It didn’t matter that they were kissing in a crowd of strangers. What mattered to Lizzie at this exact moment was Eric and the warm, fluttering feeling he gave her the second his lips touched hers.

Eventually, her perfect little Eric bubble world burst when he pulled away and asked if they were ready to go. Lizzie then remembered where they were and what she wanted to do before heading off. She just hoped Eric was okay staying a few extra minutes while she made her rounds saying goodbye to her friends. She also really wanted to speak to one of the spoken word performers. Now outside her little Eric world again, her mind went back to trying to retain those impactful three or some minutes.

If Eric had any complaints over how long they were actually staying after the event ended, he didn’t voice them out to Lizzie while she went about her rounds. She started with Anna and Andrew since they were the closest. Their goodbyes, however, somehow segued to Eric’s troupe’s opening night of their winter production this weekend. Soon enough, the two couples were making plans to meet up at the theatre Saturday night to watch the production together. Anna and Andrew were still as excited about Eric’s life in theatre as they had been when they all met for the first time. Honestly, this made Lizzie real happy and proud. Even if this winter production wasn’t exactly something he was directly involved in, she was just glad her friends were willing to still give that part of his life a chance to see.

After they gathered their things from the chairs, Lizzie led the way towards the spoken word performer she was dying to talk to. She was a tall, dark-skinned woman named Tanya that was probably a couple years older than Eric, but gave off an air that she was much older. However, there was something about the way she articulated her words that felt so familiar and that had Lizzie so determined to speak to her even for just a moment. She hoped Eric would understand.

Outside of trying to retain her poem, Lizzie was still working on why it felt so familiar to her. Poetry wasn’t her focus as an English major, so naturally she couldn’t pinpoint exactly why Tanya’s performance stuck out to her. Even as they spoke, nothing really stuck.

It wasn’t until Eddie jumped into the conversation that Lizzie finally figured it out. After Eddie effortlessly joined their conversation, he turned to look at Lizzie with this rather knowing look on his face. “You know, I can tell that one of your poems had an effect on Lizzie,” he said mostly to Tanya. When asked to continue, he immediately explained how he caught that subtle reference to a poem by another female poet; her mother’s favorite poet. And it was that moment of clarity that had Lizzie beaming and feeding off this new energy to continue the conversation.

The fact that Eddie remembered this detail honestly surprised Lizzie. The topic of her late mother’s favorite poet was brought up very early on in their developing friendship. Eddie wanted to scope out Lizzie’s focus as an English major and asked about her opinion on poetry, to which she answered truthfully that she liked it, just not as much as literature. However, instead of moving on from that point, Eddie and Lizzie continued to discuss poetry. At one point, she mentioned that much of her knowledge stemmed from her sisters who picked it up from their late mother. That was when she brought up her mother’s favorite poet and how those poems were the first ones she read growing up. It was honestly the briefest of mentions. So for Eddie to remember such a detail months later was quite impressive.

After Eddie’s comment about her mother, Tanya asked Lizzie some follow up questions about her. Nothing too personal. Having lost her mother so young, she wouldn’t have much to offer other than whatever her dad and sisters told her over the years. Most of the questions were about her mother’s interest in poetry. Lizzie explained to their little group how her mother loved poetry. It was second to Austen and that was saying a lot. She mentioned the books of poetry still at her family home back in California and how every single one was annotated with her thoughts. These were the kind of details that Lizzie knew the most about her late mother because growing up, she would sneak a book of poetry off the shelf every once in a while to just skim the notes on the margins. It was an attempt to get to know her mother personally through her own neat handwriting.

Had Eddie not changed the topic, Lizzie would never have realized just how much time passed. His comment about driving her home crash landed her back to the present and she realized just then that she should have left with Eric a while ago. An immediate rush of guilt hit her as she turned to look up apologetically at her love for keeping him waiting so long. Except, that rush of guilt was stopped frozen when Eric wrapped an arm around her and spoke directly to Eddie. The tone in his voice was not subtle. Even she got the hint. So before any other words were exchanged that might ruin the mood, Lizzie said her quick goodbyes and followed Eric toward the exit.

The walk to the station was tense. Even with his arm still around her shoulders, Lizzie felt a coldness from him as opposed to his usual warmth. He avoided her gaze every single time she looked up at him to attempt to instigate a conversation. When they were far away from the venue, he took his arm off her shoulders and walked a step ahead of her so that she spent much of the walk trying to keep up with him. Even as they took the escalator down to the Underground, all Lizzie saw was Eric’s back. Something was definitely wrong with Eric and she really wanted to know what it was. She hoped that it wasn’t because of her.

“Babe? Are you–” But she never got a chance to finish that question. Lizzie now noticed a new habit of Eric’s. Whenever he was upset about something, he had a tendency to interrupt when another person was trying to talk to him. And each time he did, it was to say things that cut deep like a knife in a tone that froze her to the bone.

Her mother. This was the reason for his sudden mood shift. Before she could even say anything to explain herself, their train arrived and he didn’t wait for the doors to fully open to step inside. Once again, she was left following after him in an attempt to keep up. For the rest of the train ride back home, Lizzie kept to herself. She picked up on the tension between them and figured that it wasn’t the best time to talk through whatever this was he was dealing with. Besides, he still wouldn’t look at her.

The mood between them didn’t get any better the closer they were to the flat. In fact, Lizzie feared that it might have gotten worse. As they walked from the station to the flat, she now walked about two steps behind Eric. Now all she could see of him were his shoes. She was afraid to call out to him to grab his attention. What if it propelled him to leave her behind? Like last time….

At the flat, Eric didn’t say a single word to her as he walked down the hall toward the bathroom. She was still in the middle of unzipping her coat when she heard the bathroom door close. Lizzie let out a deep, disappointed sigh and walked to their room to change.

It crossed Lizzie’s mind as she changed that something should definitely be done about whatever was bothering Eric right now. She was very aware of how late it was and how tired he must actually be between work and being out so late. But as she hung her coat behind the door, she remembered one night some years ago walking in on Emma and Owen in the middle of a heated discussion that was a result of some disagreement they had earlier that day. They spoke for hours before all the lights turned off. However, by next morning, she watched them act like nothing was wrong.

The key to any successful relationship: Never go to bed angry.

Eric was still in the bathroom when Lizzie stepped out of their bedroom to move to the common room. Oh well, no matter how long he took, she would wait.

When she finally heard the bathroom door open, she watched with bated breath as Eric’s footsteps grew louder. However, she didn’t say anything as she watched him walk past the double doors. She just watched the doorway, praying that he would come look for her when he saw that she wasn’t in the bedroom.

He did come looking for her. And she exhaled deeply. She didn’t say a single word while he worked up whatever courage he needed to join her in the common room. If he needed to close the double doors to give them more privacy, that’s fine. If he needed to avoid her gaze no matter how hard or how long she looked at him, okay. What she wanted right now was for him to speak first. She didn’t want to put them in a situation where a misunderstanding would arise because she assumed she knew exactly what was wrong. She wanted him to speak first; to express whatever was upsetting him. By now, she trusts that he would be honest with her.

It was a good thing too that Lizzie waited for Eric to speak first. Despite forcing herself not to assume she knew why Eric was upset, she still found herself confused and honestly shocked when the truth did come out. This whole mood shift from Open Mic Night wasn’t because of her late mother. It was because of Eddie.

Lizzie couldn’t help it when she suddenly went on the defensive. Her tone wasn’t accusational or anything. But she was desperate for Eric to know that nothing was going on between her and Eddie; that him driving her home was just a friendly gesture. She needed him to know that they were nothing more than friends.

Then Eric voiced a fact that Lizzie has honestly been avoiding for months now. Did she know that Eddie liked her? It was definitely a thought she considered a couple of times when they hung out. However, it was never something she thought too much over. Not when she focused almost all of her time on Eric. It wasn’t like the others in their friend group entertained the thought as well. No one ever brought up the possibility that Eddie could possibly like her. So why worry about it when it was just speculation? But now that this question was leaking into her relationship, she was forced to bring the blip of a thought to the front of her mind.

Did she know that Eddie liked her? Subtle clues pointed toward yes.

Did she care that Eddie liked her? Honestly? Not really.

Eddie wasn’t Eric. Sure, Eddie was smart and sweet. If there was any picture of a proper gentleman, his face would be that picture. And, sure, he is quite handsome. But to Lizzie, Eddie was just a friend. When she looks at him, she feels nothing. No butterflies. No fireworks. No warm fuzzy tingling sensations. No frisson of excitement. Being around Eddie was nothing like merely looking at Eric.

Even now, as they sat together on the couch working through this misunderstanding, Lizzie’s heart raced in her chest. Every muscle in her body felt magnetically pulled to him. It begged to close the gap between them. Lizzie was hopelessly devoted to Eric. She was madly in love with Eric. She would do anything in her power to always have him by her side.

Lizzie desperately wanted to talk through this; to resolve whatever tonight brought out of Eric. She worried that she couldn’t persuade Eric that nothing and no one could get between them. His apology for his behavior earlier didn’t matter anymore. If he felt sudden insecurities about their relationship because of some outside force, then he didn’t need to apologize. What mattered to Lizzie was that they work past it and regain that confidence Eric had in himself; in them.

She thought she was doing a good job persuading him that they were okay and that Eddie wasn’t going to be a threat to them. She thought they were going to be okay. But her heart sank when he pulled his hand from hers. No, they were definitely not okay yet. She couldn’t understand. What else could she say to him to make him believe that everything between them was great and perfect and–

“I lied earlier,” Eric said then and Lizzie was left completely speechless.

Lizzie didn’t know what to make of this information. She watched as he walked further away from her despite how hard her mind was telling her to pull him back to her. She was practically frozen on her spot on the couch and she didn’t move a single inch until he picked up his guitar.

Hearing that he wrote a song for her brought on a flood of emotions for Lizzie. But before she could even feel any of them, he shot down at least half of those emotions when he clarified that even though he wrote her a song, it was when she was in Paris. He didn’t have to clarify any further what brought on the inspiration. Just the memory of the night of their fight continued to leave her unable to find the right words to say. So she didn’t try as she watched him set up to play this song he lied about to her.

There was a momentary feeling of dread when Eric played the first few chords. Aware of what prompted the inspiration for the song and the fact that he lied to her about it, Lizzie feared what the lyrics would tell her about their fight back in October and the aftermath of it. What she felt right now was nothing like how she felt when he sang Just A Little Bit of Your Heart.

Then he started to sing and Lizzie was once again entranced by his voice. There was a softness in it. Not just because it was so late in the evening and he didn’t want to wake the others in the flat. The song itself deserved the gentleness he was conveying. Lizzie clung to each lyric in her effort to etch it into her mind and heart. They were just so beautiful...and sad.

It occurred to Lizzie as Eric reached the final chords of the song that she hadn’t said a word for the last five or some minutes. Not since he pulled away from her when she reached for his hand. As the last chord echoed through the common room, she still could not find the words to say. Okay, that was a lie. There was plenty she could say to him. She could tell him that she loved the song. Or thank him for sharing something so personal with her. Or apologize that he felt he needed to lie to her about these feelings and this song. But none of these felt like the right thing to say at this very moment.

So she kept silent as she once more reached out to him. Her hands carefully took the guitar from him, pulling it out of his grasp to place it down on the ground at their feet. She then turned to look at him, to take in his features she knew all too well but could never get enough of. Her heart broke for him. She felt awful that he felt this way.

Then, before she knew it, she succumbed to the magnetic urges her body begged of her all night. She wrapped her arms tightly around Eric’s shoulders, burying her face into the spot of his neck where it fit so perfectly while she pressed her body hard against his. She felt herself being adjusted into a position more comfortable for her; sitting on his lap with her legs on either side of him. Time stood still at this very moment. As much as she wanted to tell Eric whatever it is he needed to hear, it didn’t matter right now. This felt like enough.

All felt well the next morning when Lizzie was woken up by her alarm. Even if some lingering emotions from last night remained, it wasn’t enough to ruin the moment after Lizzie shut off her alarm and turned to find Eric gazing right back at her. As he leaned in for a morning kiss, she knew then that last night’s misunderstandings were now understood. They were going to be okay.

“What time are you gonna be done with rehearsals tonight?” Lizzie asked curiously as she watched Eric carefully put their crumpets on the plate. Tonight was the final dress rehearsal for the troupe’s winter production and she wanted to know whether or not it would run for the typical rehearsal time. More importantly, she wanted to know if she would need to wait for him longer than usual. “You guys don’t have, like, some troupe tradition or something for the night before opening night, right? Like, stay up hella late together or do some kind of overnight?” She was reassured that he would definitely be home tonight. Of course, if something did come up last minute, Lizzie made Eric promise that he let her know so she doesn’t end up worrying.

Since Eric was going to be pretty busy with dress rehearsal later tonight, Lizzie spent much of her shift at her internship wondering what she could do while she waited for him to come home. Obviously one option was to get more work done. No matter what, she always seemed to have a pile of work to do whether it was for school or work. As usual, this week was both. However, she really didn’t want to just do work when she returned to the flat later.

A part of her considered hanging out with friends for a bit. But as soon as she considered asking Beth and Patricia if they wanted to have a late lunch together, the weather turned and the last thing she wanted was to be stuck in the city. Hanging out with her school friends didn’t even pop up as an option. Other than the whole thing about Eddie, she was going to see Anna and Andrew tomorrow night for the winter production’s opening night.

By the time she arrived back at the flat after her internship, she made and finalized all her plans for the next four or so hours. Luckily, all of them would be in the comfort of her own home. The English rain everyone kept warning her about was really starting to show its true colors now that it was creeping closer and closer to December.

After a quick, warm shower, Lizzie changed out of her work clothes then sent Eric a quick text letting him know that she was home and would be home for the rest of the night. She made sure to update him right before he had to leave work so that he would receive her message while his iPod was connected to the hotel wifi. Give him a little peace of mind while he was still out.

Once he acknowledged that he received her message, it was time to begin her late afternoon into the evening plans. The first thing was to get the last of her work for her internship finished. There wasn’t much left of the manuscript to read for her to feel confident writing her report. She had no intention of forcing herself to finish the book since much of the plot was predictable. Even when she skipped to the ending, she wasn’t surprised at how underwhelmed she felt. She could definitely BS her way through her report in no time.

In fact, she was finishing up said report when she propped up her iPad and tapped Irene’s name to initiate a FaceTime call. As expected, her cousin answered after a couple of rings.

“Okay...where to begin.”

It occurred to Lizzie earlier that she hadn’t updated Irene much in the last couple weeks. Sure, she and her cousin kept in constant contact when she had the time to pick up her phone and answer a text message. But in regards to new updates that required a phone call longer than an hour? Lizzie was at least two weeks behind on that end. As such, the first thing she told her cousin was that she and Eric were now living together. There was a reason Lizzie failed to tell Irene about Eric moving in. First, there was just too much background information that she is unable to share. She would never tell anyone about Eric’s previous history of being homeless. That would just segue to his past. So Lizzie needed to figure out what she can tell anyone if the topic of them living together was ever brought up. In the end, she went with the Olivia route. It wasn’t a lie after all. As long as she never let slip the Barking stuff and alluded that he lived somewhere else before moving into the flat, she and Eric were in the clear.

This was good practice for when she would need to tell JKL...which was probably very soon. They were already very curious about why she always featured Eric in morning snap streaks. Katie the Observant even teased during one of their text conversations that he was practically living at the flat now. Lowkey Lizzie was nervous to tell her best friends that her boyfriend of not even a month was now living with her...even if she isn’t the sole reason.

Once she got past updating Irene about Eric living in the flat, the rest of the FaceTime call was spent telling her about her family’s visit. Naturally, Irene was very curious about how her family felt about Eric. Lizzie was told that Mary did give her a bit of information, but considering they only saw Eric twice during the entire trip, there wasn’t much else to share. So it was Lizzie’s job to fill in the blanks. She told her about lunch with her sisters, dinner with her family (minus his panic attack), his report drop off and finally lunch with her dad. By the end of her retelling, Irene was able to confirm that her family did seem to like Eric after all. That was always a relief to hear.

There was still about an hour and a half left before Eric was supposedly scheduled to come home. Having finished her internship work and not feeling particularly motivated to focus on school work, Lizzie wondered how she could kill the rest of this time waiting for Eric to be done with rehearsals. Calling JKL was sort of an option. None of them had Friday classes, but she wouldn’t have all of them to drop the Eric moving in reveal. She was sure Lacey had a gig this weekend or something and Katie and Aiden pretty much had the same swim schedule leading up to their upcoming swim meet next week.

Speaking of which, she needed to text Aiden about the meet…. But that would be for a later time. Surely he was too busy getting ready for the 200IM (or did he talk their coach into the 400IM...she can’t quite remember) to look at his phone long enough to have a text conversation. She’d have to scope that out with Lacey later this weekend.

But so...what else was left to do while she waited for Eric? She considered watching TV or something on Netflix, but she had been staring at a screen ever since she got home. Her eyes needed a break from screen time. Maybe she could hang out with Olivia or someone else in the flat. Actually, the only other person that was home right now was Angel and he’s been cooped up in his room since he got back. Based on whatever sound traveled through their thin walls, he was very busy on some work call. Actually, didn’t he have a work trip coming up?

All hope of killing time seemed lost until Lizzie’s eyes wandered away from her messy desk and looked up at the wall shelf above her. Her gaze fell on Eric’s copy of the Harry Potter books. More specifically Goblet of Fire. Long ago, she told him that the fourth book was her least favorite. It still was, but once Eric finally admitted to her that it was actually his favorite she looked at it a little differently. Most of her opinions of the book still remain valid to her, but they would eventually be tinged with the reasons why Eric loved it. It was for this reason that she found herself reaching for his copy of Goblet of Fire to take with her to the common room.

After making herself a cup of tea and a snack, Lizzie took her usual spot on the couch, grabbed Eric’s blanket and wrapped herself in it before opening the book up to the first page to begin reading. ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 120218-----------❖ LOCATION — their bed-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

Lizzie continued to prove time and time again that he didn’t deserve her. It was almost instantaneous, the relief he felt when she finally made contact as her arms wrapped around him. He froze for just a split second as his breath caught in his throat; he didn’t know what to do now. He didn’t know what he had wanted from all this and he didn’t know how to handle the aftermath of what he’d just put them through. It truly was just a split second though, soon enough his hands moved on their own as they blindly grabbed at her tiny frame until one found her thigh and he pulled her onto him. The other braced her hip and the moment she was settled he held her in place low along her waist.

He had been so awful earlier; his insecurities lashing out and snapping at her over Eddie— over something so stupid— yet here she was holding him tight as though silently reassuring him that he had nothing to fear. She was so patient with him. So loving and forgiving while he sat here feeling guilty and embarrassed for how he had acted. But, he truly had had no control over his emotions back there. It was like the second they were triggered he was drowning in them. He hadn’t been able to take a step back to process the situation or even let Lizzie speak to clarify everything there on the spot and avoid this whole ordeal altogether. No, he hadn’t been able to think straight earlier. He couldn’t, not when it came to Lizzie. Everything involving her was all consuming, both in the way she took his breath away and the way she was the only one who could breathe life back into him.

Eric took a slow, deep breath. His arms had snaked completely around her by now, and his eyes had shut as he was forcing his focus to be entirely on her. The way her arms felt around him, the way her familiar scent helped ground him, and the steady rhythm of her heart against his. He really couldn’t stay mad at her—no wait, he had never even been mad at her in the first place. It was himself he was upset with and he had just taken it out on her. And she had taken it, all of it. She had sat through his outburst and accepted everything he had said whether she saw it that way or not. She had let him speak his piece and here she was melting him back into the puddle he was whenever she was around.

Without warning he inhaled sharply, as though preparing to speak, only nothing came out. He didn’t say anything until Lizzie finally broke their silence to point out how late it was getting and that they should go to bed. She was right. She always was. But Eric just wasn’t ready to move yet. Partly it was that he was too entranced in her healing presence, but it was also that in the silence between them he had stumbled on an entire other issue. Now that they had more or less cleared the air concerning Eric’s boyfriend insecurity at open mic night, it had created space for his mind to wander and worry about other things, like how it would be December in two days…

He was always hyper aware of the calendar hitting the twelfth and final month; always anticipating the worst day of the year. It was almost December and that realization would sit with him for the next couple days, it would likely die down after that as life moved on without him. But it was only a few weeks now until that day arrived. And no matter how many times he told himself he wouldn’t let it get to him, it always did without fail. The sense of dread that filled him was almost nauseating and only further upset him when he realized just what was distracting him from his perfect love who had just dropped everything to make him feel better. His mother had always ruined everything she touched, and that remained true even five years after her passing…

Things were better again after Lizzie successfully relocated the both of them to their room. He was finally changed out of his work clothes and had pulled the hood of his Mickey sweatshirt up over the back of his head before climbing into bed. His sleeves were pulled down over his wrists and all in all was just exuding comfy. There was just one thing that would finally help him settle down and go straight to sleep.

Eric’s arm reached across her body until his hand found her hand and his fingers forced their way between hers, silently demanding to lock their hands together and he then pulled her back against his chest with their joined hands against her own across her breast. It was nice for a while. Neither spoke and Lizzie’s other hand was occupied with her phone as she finished up anything she needed before bed. Set her alarms, last minute texts, maybe some social media scrolling. Whatever it was it didn’t bother Eric at first, he was content just having her here with him. And it wasn’t that he was bothered she was spending a few minutes on her phone, but rather soon enough he was able to recognize that he still wasn’t calming down. That relaxed feeling just before sleeping wasn’t hitting him the way it normally did. Eric’s grip tightened around Lizzie as he buried his face into her back and forced out an exhale as he tried to banish all those thoughts of their fight and his mother and allow himself to just forget about all his problems for the night and fall asleep.

Eric had lived most of his life completely independently. On his own. Little to no help. Solo. He had never needed anyone the way he needed Lizzie now. And not just now as in this moment, but now in his life. It was so daunting to imagine doing anything without her. She had simultaneously handicapped him whilst also empowering him to be stronger than ever before. It was honestly such a conflicting feeling to work through. Never before had he felt so weakened by another— not that Lizzie made him weak...least not in a negative sense. He was weak against her. He couldn’t fight her like he could Olivia. He couldn’t bear the thought of letting her down the way he could handle it with Olivia. Lizzie wasn’t Olivia. Olivia had been through so much hardship and tragedy with him to the point that he was tragically desensitized to her. She’d helped him, for sure. Of course. Eric would never ever downplay how important Olivia was to him or how much she had done for him. But he didn’t get the same raw neediness with her. He didn’t miss her every second he wasn’t with her. She didn’t infiltrate his thoughts all day long the way Lizzie did. Lizzie had him under her spell to the point that Eric really did not think he could continue on without her. If Lizzie left him now his entire world would shatter and nothing would be able to glue it back together. But his extreme dependency on her flew way over his head. Eric was in too deep to notice what an impact she had on him. All he knew was the overwhelming desire he held for her— how addicted he was to the way she made him feel. And it was that very feeling that allowed him to finally give in and get lost in her reassuring scent, touch, and presence that always seemed to calm him down, while his fingers slowly rubbing against the back of her hand until sleep won him over.

When morning came he found himself sort of entranced by her peaceful sleeping state. Watching her now made up for the fact that he was awake ridiculously early. These days Eric usually woke up either after her or because of her, it was rare for his internal clock to kick in and for him to wake on his own. As such Eric took full advantage of this moment he had. His fingers gently traced along her neck, brushing aside her hair so he could see her better in what dim light that was sneaking into the room as the sun rose. Eric scooted closer as his fingers reached her shoulder. The sleeve of her t-shirt had gotten all bunched up above it in her sleep and he leaned in to gently kiss her exposed skin before smoothing her sleeve back down. He wanted more, of course he wanted more. All Eric wanted was to hold her close for forever and feel her soft skin beneath his fingers—but he didn’t. His hand instead just casually draped across her waist as his eyes grew heavy again and sleep took him back briefly until the alarm clock dragged him back to her. A tired smile spread across his face as she turned to face him and he greeted her, first physically and then with his rough morning voice.

“Are you and Lizzie okay?” Olivia had dropped by the hotel today for his lunch break, she claimed to have been in the area and missed him and stated that they hadn’t gotten to hang out just the two of them in a while. Which was all true, but it was now clear that in typical Olivia fashion, she had come with a purpose. Eric’s silence served as the indicator that he didn’t know exactly what she was talking about. Were he and Lizzie okay? Of course they were. They were more than okay. His thoughts were stuck on a loop from earlier that morning; that period of time between waking up and breakfast when his hands had been all over Lizzie, his lips initially locked with hers but quickly straying to kiss anything in reach. The way the rest of the room had been quite chilly but everything under their shared comforter was nice and toasty as Lizzie would have called it. Nothing else had mattered and nothing else was on his mind; he had focused his everything on Lizzie and ensuring that she felt all of his love— that she felt as good as she made him feel. That morning he had finally been able to fulfill everything he had wanted during mic night that had been delayed on account of his meltdown. He and Lizzie were great, so what exactly was Olivia getting at?

Olivia was very careful about treading further into this conversation. She swirled her drink with her straw once before speaking again, “I heard you two last night—“ Eric’s eyes glanced away now and Olivia was quick to backtrack and try and reel him back in. She knew all too well that if Eric checked out then this conversation would die before it even began, “Well, I mean I didn’t hear what you were talking about. I was going to get water but you guys sounded so serious so I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Olivia was clearly waiting for him to take the bite and continue for her, but he didn’t, which only confirmed for her that something was indeed going on, “Eric?”
He finally caved and introduced Eddie to the conversation but just as Lizzie had, Olivia was quick to assume he was concerned about Eddie and Lizzie together. As though he felt threatened by Eddie and that the younger male would somehow steal his girl. But no, that wasn’t exactly it. That wasn’t where Eric’s feelings stemmed from. He was inadequate compared to Eddie. Lizzie deserved so much more than he could ever hope to offer her. She shouldn’t be weighed down by her boyfriend’s life or holding his head above the water while trying to keep herself afloat. Between school, her internship and living abroad, Lizzie had enough on her plate to deal with without his tragic self dragging her down. It wasn’t that he was scared Eddie would somehow win her over, it was that he felt Eddie should be the one to have her. At least he could give her a normal relationship.

“Oh Eric…no you’re doing fine.” But he still wasn’t meeting her gaze, “Eric, trust me...you know I would call you out if I thought you weren’t. Lizzie had her chance to back out after everything that happened...but she didn’t. She knows what she’s getting into and still chose you.”

“Lizzie chose you Eric,” he had finally looked back up at her and Olivia once again picked her next words carefully. She needed to finish voicing her thoughts but didn’t want to accidentally open another can of worms and risk losing his attention again, “You laid everything out on that table and she still took it all— the good and the bad— all of it, so stop trying to give her reasons not to.”

“If she wanted a guy who could take her out to dinner every weekend and drive her everywhere then she would have called it quits when she found out you can’t. Lizzie isn’t holding you to those expectations so you shouldn’t be either. She’s a big girl, she can make her own decisions. Clearly she thinks you’re worth everything you two have been through. And besides you don’t know anything about this bloke. What if he’s a total prick in a relationship? Manipulative or something. Lizzie wants to be with you...and to be honest, never in all our years of friendship have I seen you anywhere near as happy as she makes you.”

Things picked up at work after Olivia left, and then with rehearsal afterwards, Eric really wasn’t given time to process everything she had said in comparison with the reality of his and Lizzie’s….fight— God he hated calling it that. He had been so content just blocking it from his mind and continuing on as if nothing had happened. He only wanted good things for them— good feelings. He didn’t want to dwell on what had made him so upset last night, but then Olivia had gone and brought it up and as he walked from the station back to the flat he couldn’t shake the thoughts from his head.

There was nothing between him and Lizzie. There had never been any hard feelings, negative experiences or toxicity. Nothing bad had happened to them as a couple. It had all just been misunderstandings trapped in his head that all poured out at once. Everything had been in his head...all of last night was him feeling weak, vulnerable and insecure for absolutely no reason. To say he had overreacted was definitely an understatement. But it had happened. It was too late to take it back and there was nothing more that needed to be said about it. Everything Olivia had said at lunch aligned with his memory of Lizzie last night patiently waiting for him to calm down and accepting it all. Lizzie had gotten over it, so he needed to as well.

Eric’s hand held his key still in the door, pausing his actions just as he paused his thoughts. He couldn’t walk into the flat still stuck on last night. It wasn’t fair to Lizzie, not after everything she’d done for him— for them. Sure he wasn’t completely over it himself, but he couldn’t change how he felt about himself being undeserving of her love. At least not overnight. He would need time still for his dark personal feelings to alter and match his happy reality. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t make the conscious decision to push past it all and truly do his best to not let it all affect him. Lizzie was waiting for him inside and he wouldn’t allow himself to walk in there dragging his broken mental state held together by duct tape in with him. No, he would leave all of that at the door. He wouldn’t let his life affect his love, not anymore.

There was something reassuring about seeing Lizzie waiting for him on the couch with a book in her hands. Reassuring and comforting...weird futuristic nostalgia. It felt like this was right. This was how it was supposed to be. Coming home to Lizzie was supposed to be his normal, and almost instantly the entire rest of the world was blocked out and everything to either side of him grew dark. The only thing illuminated was the floor like in the cinema leading him to Lizzie who was lit up like a beacon calling him over.

He greeted her softly as he approached, abandoning his backpack on the coffee table in the process. The couch dipped where his knee sat into it as he leaned down to meet Lizzie, ”What’re you reading?” He kissed her then, every hello and goodbye between them was accompanied by a kiss. Always. But while the rational part of him knew to wait for her response in case she was reading something for work or school...the rest of Eric couldn’t wait. They had only been separated a moment. Just a second for Lizzie to inhale so as to answer him, but with that breath Eric instead crashed their lips back together, kissing her deeply now as his weight joined her.

What felt like eons of just the two of them locked together was in reality much shorter. Eric may have gotten swept up in his feelings but he wasn’t so far gone as to lose himself in his addiction. He just wanted as much of Lizzie for as long as he could get. He wanted to end a very long and exhausting day safe in her arms with only her sweet taste on his lips. Eric’s hand was gliding over hers now and his fingers slipped in between to replace hers, holding her spot in the book but more importantly holding her hand still. He didn’t want her to move, not even to run her fingers through his hair the way she knew he loved it. Right now Eric just wanted this one moment to last forever. Nothing less, because he wanted all of her. But nothing more because more always snowballed into too much. He would just freeze time right now and he smiled into their kiss as he knew he had succeeded.

His eagerness had calmed down as he settled right up next to her on the couch with as much of his body against hers as he could manage. Eric let out a short breath when they parted and his lungs thanked him for remembering to breathe. He pulled further away— er, not away, but just enough so that he had a wider field of vision than only Lizzie’s perfect face. During their moment he had pulled her book out of her grasp, his finger still sandwiched in the middle holding her page as he brought it closer and flipped it over to see what she had been reading. An odd expression flickered across his face then as he glanced up to meet her eyes immediately after. It was a look of surprise, confusion and predictability. Surprise because he knew she did not share the same love for The Goblet of Fire as he did. Confusion because similarly, why was she reading this massive novel of a book if it wasn’t even in her top three? But predictability because of course Lizzie would be reading Harry Potter.

”I thought you didn’t like it?” He was mostly teasing her, he knew the reaction it would get out of her and he loved how fired up and enthusiastic she got when it came to Harry Potter. He loved how passionately she spoke of the wizarding world, both the books and movies. He loved all her theories and endless fandom knowledge. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t always keep up with her, Eric could just listen to her talk for days.

As she defended her opinions and actions he opened the book between them. They were sitting “normal” now. That is to say their backs were against the back of the couch, but Eric’s body was still positioned in towards Lizzie, silently demanding physical contact and loving every touch he received. His eyes skimmed over the page quickly as he tried to take in what was going on, after all it had been YEARS since he had last opened a Harry Potter book, ”Where did you leave off?”

Lizzie pointed to a paragraph near the bottom of a page and Eric moved his thumb so as to not block the words, ”It had been enough of a shock for Harry to discover, on his eleventh birthday, that he was a wizard;” Lizzie had adjusted to rest her head against his shoulder and Eric naturally leaned into the contact as they both slumped down a little, settling in to be more comfortable for this impromptu live audiobook session, ”It had been even more disconcerting to find out that everyone in the hidden wizarding world knew his name. Harry had arrived at Hogwarts to find that heads turned and whispers followed him wherever he went. But he was used to it now: At the end of this summer, he would be starting his fourth year at Hogwarts, and Harry was already counting the days until he would be back at the castle again.”

”But there was still a fortnight to go before he went back to school. He looked hopelessly around his room again, and his eye paused— “ on the birthday cards his two best friends had sent him at the end of July.

Eric hadn’t finished the sentence though. Just as he had turned the page there had been a mini flurry of movement as something fell from between the pages. It happened so quickly, Eric wasn’t sure what it was, but as Lizzie reached to pick it up he was able to recognize it was a photograph. An old photograph. The kind that came from those disposable cameras back in the day. But what was it of and how did it get into his book? Lizzie had turned it over to see and there in the photo were three kids. They couldn’t have been older than seven at the most. All three were dressed in their Sunday best but half hidden beneath their heavy winter coats as they stood outside with some light snow in the background. Eric knew this photo well, he didn’t actually remember when it was taken, he was much too young then. But he had seen it all his life. It’s just...why was it in his book?

”Is that you?”
Lizzie was pointing to the little boy in the photograph and Eric nodded slowly, not that she could see as both their eyes were trained on the two dimensional memory in her hands, ”Yeah….and that’s uhm, Olivia,” He pointed to one of the girls, ”And her sister, Diana.” And then to the other.
Lizzie seemed to have realized there was a second photo behind it, just slightly stuck together but she carefully pried them apart. What she revealed made Eric’s heart drop into his stomach but he found he couldn’t look away. It was a photo from the same day, you could tell by Eric’s clothes and the date stamped in the corner. But instead of him and the Thompson sisters, this one was of him and his mother. They were both smiling— an expression Eric could no longer remember seeing on his mother, yet here was the photo evidence that it used to exist. He knew Howard had already infiltrated their life at this point, but she looked so genuinely happy. This must’ve been a good day, or early on enough that she wasn’t getting high on the daily.

Eric couldn’t hear Lizzie as she now braved a question about this photo as well, all of his focus was trained on the photos in her hand until he suddenly reached to take them from her, ”Sorry…” The word fell out of his mouth as a hasty mumble, a certain level of shame tainting his voice. After all he had just decided to leave all this at the door, yet here it had gone and followed him inside.
”They must’ve fallen in when I was packing…” He had just tossed all his belongings into boxes when he left Barking. He had packed in such a rush and had barely managed to separate anything, as Lizzie had seen when they were unpacking everything from his car. The one exception being that his mother’s belongings were still in that one box. Should he add this photo to the box later? Was he ready to open it? No...maybe he should just burn it instead, or cut it up and throw away all the pieces. But that idea didn’t sit well with him either. He didn’t want to keep it but he couldn’t bring himself to destroy it.

He had tried to meet her gaze when he was speaking, but now that he had fallen silent his eyes glanced back down to the photographs in his hands one last time. His mother’s was still on top and he zeroed in on the date stamped into the bottom right corner in that awful faded orange. 01.12.2001. And there it was, the changing of November to December marked by a single piece of paper to remind him of what winter was bringing. It seemed no matter how hard he tried to leave everything at the door, things just wouldn’t stay, especially her…

Everything sort of picked back up and normality resumed once the photos were stashed out of sight into his backpack. Eric fell asleep holding her tight again. Ignore the bad and focus on the good. His mother was bad, but Lizzie is good. December had always been rough though. His mother was gone but Lizze is here to stay. And December...well December was here now whether he liked it or not but as long as he had Lizzie then he could just completely overlook the rest of the month and before he knew it it would be January and all would be right in his world again.

Eric stayed busy at work the next day. His secret text breaks to Lizzie were less frequent than usual but it wasn’t drastically so by any means. It wasn’t just last night that had him running around though. Eric had sort of absorbed his troupe’s stress and opening night nerves. It wasn’t his own show but he still felt it all the same. All the what ifs running through his head. Second guessing old decisions. Wondering if something should be changed. And that was no different even after he had gotten to the theatre and was backstage checking and double checking props and costumes. All along he had planned to stay in the back to help stage manage, he wanted to stay involved and not sit nervously in the audience the whole night—

“Eric? What’re you doing here?”
It was pretty obvious Eric didn’t know what Freddie was getting at...where else was he supposed to be? Had he forgotten to do something? Honestly wouldn’t be surprising if he had, after all Eric had been so busy and stretched thin the past few weeks. Even with work, theatre and Howard running his life he was usually pretty on top of things. But there was no denying that there was now an added component. A distraction he was absolutely powerless against. The reason he—”Isn’t Lizzie here? You should be out there sitting with her.”
Of course Eric being Eric, he refused at first. Obviously a large part of him wanted nothing more than to go out into the house to find Lizzie and be able to watch with her. He so rarely got to enjoy a show, and to then watch with his favorite person sounded like a dream. But he had already stressed himself out and he had a duty to the troupe to stay back here and work...right? ”We’ll be fine, besides it's not like you’ll even be here tomorrow. Sarah will have to figure out her costume change one way or the other.”

”Go on,” Say no more. The thought of reuniting with his love was strong enough for Eric to make one last sweep of backstage to ensure things were prepped and everyone else was good before slipping out and following a dark hall out to a side entrance into the lobby. He was dressed all in black: well lived in skinny jeans with a couple small tears and distresses from behind the scenes work and a simple black long sleeve crew neck shirt. No button ups, nothing fancy, after all this wasn’t his show and he wasn’t meant to be seen by the audience at any point. But now he was the audience and instead of feeling invisible blending into the shadows like part of the tech crew he felt horribly under dressed as he watched people file into the house to find a seat.

Initially Eric was worried about how he would find Lizzie. Was she even here yet? His iPod was in his bag backstage and he had been too busy keeping himself busy to check if she had arrived. He did know she had left at least. She was on her way and he had texted back that he couldn’t wait to see her. But...where was sh— there. The ponytail was a dead giveaway and the second Eric saw it his entire being zeroed in on her and he moved through the theatre like Neo dodging bullets in The Matrix.

Olivia sat to her right and a stranger to her left, so Eric went to the row behind her and walked down until he too was directly behind her. He sat on the edge of the seat, leaning forward so he could wrap his arms around as much of her, ”Hey love,” He knew he had startled her, it was to be expected coming up behind her like that, but as he felt her relax beneath him he tilted his head to give her a quiet kiss on the cheek, ”Thanks for coming.”

It wasn’t long before they were giggling as Eric helped Lizzie over her seat row to join him in his as he had an empty seat beside him. The strangers to her left tutted and gave some side eye, Olivia piped in with a ”Really, Eric?” But the happy couple couldn’t be bothered to feel bad about it as they sat back into their seats and hunkered down to enjoy the show.

And enjoy the show they did. While the rest of the audience gathered their belongings to exit the theatre, Eric and Lizzie made no move to get up as her curious self asked all the questions she had concerning the production, the troupe itself and what Eric himself was working on. It was safe to say they were pretty oblivious to their surroundings until Freddie’s voice dropped in from the aisle closest to them, ”So this is the famous Lizzie.”

He could feel the embarrassment rising in his cheeks as he pushed his hair back after looking up to see his friend smirking back at them. It was a playful smirk, with a knowing look. Ever since Eric had been seen with Lizzie she was a constant topic amongst his mates and everyone wanted to hear all about her. Unfortunately for them, Eric was pretty hush about his no longer secret girlfriend. But fortunately for them she was here now and Freddie was all too quick to introduce himself and mention how Eric had been hiding her from them for too long.

Oh how Eric would have loved to go back to that. He would give just about anything to return to Freddie teasing him and everyone all a twitter at Lizzie’s presence. He could handle the embarrassing jokes and stories. Hell he would even do it all over again and go out of character to proudly show her off. Anything to escape from this.

He was sitting in his car— his mum’s car, across the street from his old flat— his mum’s flat, watching as an ambulance rolled up with sirens blaring to park directly in front of it. He held his breath as he watched on as paramedics rushed into the house and minutes later came out carrying a body on a stretcher. The ambulance didn’t leave though, they were working there on the spot and Eric found he couldn’t look away. He wasn’t entirely there anymore. Eric was transported back several years to the last time he saw those emergency lights flashing on this street when they had come for her. Why? Why was his mother haunting him the split second December hit? It was like everywhere he went and everything he did there was something to remind him of her.

Eric had traded shifts and went into work earlier than usual that morning with a couple of carefully placed half truths. He told Lizzie he was leaving early to stop by the theatre before his shift. Before his normal shift. After the opening night celebrations, Eric had managed to bring home a prop so that of course needed to go back before the day’s matinee performance, plus he mentioned wanting to help set up for the new day. It was true, Eric did in fact stop by the theatre to drop off the stolen prop, but he had withheld the fact he was starting early, and what killed him even more was that he had withheld why he was starting early. He needed to go drop off a payment for Howard and he was scared if he waited till a better day for him that Howard would come looking for him again. Eric just didn’t want to worry her. His thinking had been that if everything went according to plan then he would be home before her and it would be a nice surprise and she wouldn’t spend the night sitting alone knowing he was going to Barking. He had told himself no more Barking or his mother in his life at the flat. And he wasn’t lying to Lizzie at all, technically speaking at least.

His day had been fine. Dropping off the prop was without problem. Work was honestly better than most days. Howard hadn’t even given him a hard time. He was literally about to start the car and return to Boundary when the ambulance raced down the street with sirens and lights taking over all his senses. And now all he could see was the memory of an ambulance here at that very house when he lived there. When it was his own mother on that stretcher and not the stranger before him now.

Eric wasn’t strong enough to leave on his own. He stayed until well after the ambulance had left and the street was quiet. There was a sickening feeling in his stomach and a painful stinging in his eyes that stayed with him all the way back to the flat. Lizzie wasn’t back yet, his plan was working like it was supposed to, but that didn’t even cross his mind as he locked the front door behind him. Everything just felt so heavy and exhausting right now. Even the simple task of changing clothes felt like too much for him right now. He just wanted to shut the world out and not have to feel or think anymore. He was used to tough days and painful ones, but that scene in Barking had just completely ripped into him and he couldn’t shake the feeling that had buried in deep.

He turned on the lights as he ended the bedroom and shut the door behind him. Both beds were empty, neither Lizzie or Ricki were home. And while a tiny voice told him he should text Lizzie that he was home early, he just...couldn’t. It was such a defeating feeling that had taken control of him. He just wanted everything to stop. Eric managed to kick off his shoes but otherwise made no other attempt to change or even properly climb into bed. The blanket was only partially draped over his legs from his feet sliding under and Eric grabbed Lizzie’s pillow to bury half his face into while he waited for...well...something, anything, everything and nothing all at once.

The lights were still on, after all he wasn’t actually intending to go to sleep right now, but it seemed he had exhausted himself into a light doze clutching Lizzie’s pillow until the sound of the door opening brought him back to partial alertness. Eric didn’t move from his spot on the bed when Lizzie entered the room, but his eyes watched her quietly when she came into view as she greeted him upon seeing he was awake. But Eric didn’t say anything back, not at first at least. He just stared back at her, sort of lost in his thoughts—lost in a memory of his mother that he couldn’t shake. Drowning in a feeling he couldn’t drag himself out of alone. Lizzie tried again as she approached the bed and Eric’s voice cracked slightly as he blinked back to the present, “Sorry,” He leaned back from her pillow enough for them to both see each other but otherwise still made no effort to move. He wasn’t trying to scoot over for her or sit up as she got closer. He couldn’t find it in himself to move, he was still just so numb and weighted down by his crushing raw sadness, even as the love of his life approached the bed. But he couldn’t ignore her, he wouldn’t ignore her—Eric just needed time to find the words he wanted to say, the courage to do so and the hope that Lizzie wouldn’t take his behavior personally.

He hated this so much. The highs he got being with Lizzie were sky high. But the lows that the other half of his life dragged him down to were so incredibly low that sometimes, like now, it didn’t feel like he’d ever get back up from them. He had braved through worse on his own before. So why was he so affected now? When had he gotten so weak? What had happened to the Eric Oliver who was up before the sun most days and just quietly tackled each day by himself?

That Eric Oliver had had nothing left to lose. Nothing could get worse than what he had so everything else was manageable. But he had experienced different now. He had dipped his feet into heaven and with it the difficult things had become unbearable. He knew things didn’t have to be how they were but the fact he couldn’t do anything about it created such an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness every time things “got worse”. December was one thing, seeing that photograph of his mother had been hard but he had moved on, but reliving that traumatic memory had pushed him over the edge.

Like last time, Eric couldn’t bring himself to talk about what exactly had happened to have clearly upset him so, but he did finally come out and clear the air about having stopped by Barking after work. At least she knew why he was upset even if she didn’t know how. Eric did perk up a little after that though, enough to change out of his work clothes at least after some convincing on Lizzie’s part. He was running out of energy to be sad but now that he was emotionally back in the room and talking again he wasn’t ready to go to bed. He’d rather stay up with Lizzie to talk and trace over the tiny tattoos on her fingers than drift around in his subconscious while he slept, ”So uhm, am I meeting you and your friends at campus tomorrow?”​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 120318-----------❖ LOCATION — a&a's flat-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

After the tense incident the night before with Eric’s old childhood photos, it completely slipped Lizzie’s mind that her weekend would actually be a rather busy one. She had other pressing matters to worry about after all. That morning as she woke up her focus was on ensuring that Eric was still okay. They may have gone to bed last night on a happy note, but there was no missing the brief shadow that clouded his expression when the photo of him and his mother resurfaced behind the photo of him and the Thompson sisters. She wanted to know he was okay, but she was also afraid that if she voiced her concern to him, it would ruin the rest of the day for him. His late mother was such a difficult and sour topic to bring up between them. Eric didn’t need that kind of mood following him out of the flat at eight in the morning. Especially not with the looming stress of his troupe’s opening night likely weighing on him.

So, after a quick kiss goodbye once they cleared up their breakfast, Lizzie momentarily glanced over at Eric’s backpack and prayed the photos wouldn’t bother him for the rest of the day. She even played with the idea of maybe going into his backpack later when he wasn’t looking to take out the photo of him and mother. Whether or not she would tell him later was still up for consideration....if she even decided to commit to the idea in the first place.

When Lizzie left Little Hopper after her meeting, her phone was immediately glued to her hand. After leaving Eric a quick text that she was finished with work and heading home, she checked the time in Greensboro, North Carolina then immediately initiated a Facetime Audio call to her roommate/big brother-like best friend/ex-swimmate. She was 100% certain Aiden would be up at five in the morning whilst in the middle of Winter Nationals.

“Have you talked to your girlfriend recently?” she lectured immediately after he picked up her call. “Do you have any idea how stressed Lacey is right now over the IM? We’re trying to not give her stress lines while she’s working remember?” This wasn’t how Lizzie initially wanted to talk to Aiden about Winter Nationals. She wanted to talk shop with him about how his events were going and to check how he was doing overall health-wise. Having been so busy the past couple days, she wasn’t able to catch any of his events and so had to get play by play recaps from Lacey. But when her best friend suddenly shared her concerns about Aiden’s shoulder coming into the IM, she had to switch up her talking points. In the years she’s lived with Aiden and Lacey, she knew that it was never good when Lacey worried about Aiden’s swimming. The goal was to always give the poor girl peace of mind.

By the time Lizzie unlocked the front door to the flat, Aiden succeeded in reassuring her that he would indeed call Lacey later when she woke up. After all, it was currently about three in the morning back in California and their Lacey needed her beauty rest for work. From that point on, it was shop talk. Lizzie wanted the full rundown on how things were going at the competition. There was no doubt Aiden had all his short meets down. Over the years, he’s worked his ass off to get back to his old times from before his accident. But she also knew that while he may come off cool and collected, he was also probably still nervous. Winter Nationals is his first competition outside of California meets. And the first to earn his spot in Team USA for 2020. There was a lot of pressure and she wanted to make sure he wouldn’t end up choking...especially with his most difficult event coming up soon.

The phone call didn’t last much longer once she got home. After Aiden mentioned he wanted to warm up some before the day’s events, they said their goodbyes and Lizzie reminded him that he could call or text her if he needed to talk before his IM event on Monday. It was once she hung up that she noticed something odd. Eric seemed a little less responsive than usual today. She quickly reasoned, of course, that he was probably busy at work and could only slip a couple secret texts at a time. Yeah, that had to be it. He was just really busy.

Sometime after her phone call with Aiden, Lizzie got a text from Anna relaying some last minute bad news. Turns out something came up with Andrew’s family so they would not be able to attend opening night like they originally planned on Thursday. Amidst all the apologizing Anna offered, Lizzie reassured her that it’s nothing to worry over. The troupe had other shows of the production after all so if they really wanted to watch, they could catch the other shows. And it wasn’t like Lizzie would be going to the show on her own. She would have Eric and Olivia with her to keep her company. Regardless of her reassurance that there would be no hard feelings, Anna offered to make it up to her and Eric. She suggested they come over to her and Andrew’s place for dinner on Sunday; their treat.

The second Anna mentioned Sunday, Lizzie immediately pulled up Eric’s work schedule in her mind. It was almost second nature how she could recall his schedule with just a single mention of the day of the week. Lizzie told Anna that Sunday would not work since Eric had an evening shift and wouldn’t be off until late evening.

Anna then asked if Monday would be good. It took a moment for Lizzie to consider this. Eric’s Monday schedule was back to back with theatre and then straight into his overnight shift. But just as she was about to voice this out, she recalled Eric telling her that there would be no rehearsals in December once the winter production began. Which meant he would be available up until he needed to go to work for his overnight. So, yeah, dinner on Monday could work. She would have to ask Eric first though.

Lizzie waited until Eric was on his lunch break to ask about dinner with Anna and Andrew on Monday. She explained to him the bad news that they wouldn’t be coming to opening night tonight due to a last minute schedule and that the dinner invitation was their way of making it up to them. They went back and forth confirming Monday schedules to see if they could accept the invitation. Eric confirmed that he did indeed have no rehearsals now that the winter production was starting so he would indeed be free. So he was okay accepting the invitation and Lizzie was quick to relay his answer to Anna.

The rest of Lizzie’s Saturday was spent killing time productively while she waited for Olivia to return from work so they could leave together for the theatre. Since she basically had the flat to herself for much of the afternoon, she took advantage of this and did laundry; both hers and Eric’s. In between loads, she prepared her assigned work material for a meeting she had scheduled tomorrow for a group project for one of her classes. She may have slacked off a bit on her assigned part of the project to focus on...other things ehem Eric...but no one in her group needed to know that.

By the time Olivia returned to the flat, Lizzie was on her second to last load of laundry and had completely abandoned the rest of her work for her group project to have what is now a very important phone call with JKL. Having found a time when all three of her best friends are available, Lizzie plucked up whatever courage she had from her talk with her cousin to finally tell them about Eric moving into the flat. The phone call turned into a long one with plenty of debating, worrying, and questioning Lizzie’s overall sanity. Granted, a majority of the last bit was all Jade. Because, “who the hell moves in with their boyfriend when they haven’t even been together for a month?” Lizzie found it very difficult to get it through to her best friend that she wasn’t even the main reason Eric was living in the flat in the first place.

The phone call with JKL was the main topic of conversation between Lizzie and Olivia later in the evening when they hopped into Olivia’s car to head into the city for Eric’s troupe’s opening night. Not surprising, Olivia reasoned that her friends probably had the right to worry. They didn’t know the whole truth about why he moved in and so long as Lizzie withheld from them the full details, they would keep worrying.

“Have they met Eric yet?” Olivia asked curiously as they fell in line in front of the theatre.

Lizzie shook her head while she pulled her coat tighter around her. “I mean, they see him, like, all the time when I send them, like, our Snap streaks. But, no. I haven’t introduced him to them yet.”

“Do you want them to meet him?” Olivia continued.

“Well, yeah. It would be great if they got to, like, know him know him. But it’s hella hard to make all our schedules work so I haven’t, like, actively made the effort to plan a day. You know?” Olivia simply nodded. “Before I introduce him to them, though…” Lizzie then continued, “I kinda wish I could get Jade to lighten up a bit about him. She’s happy for me, but I can tell she’s still on the fence about him.”

They dropped the topic once everyone was allowed into the theatre. When Lizzie and Olivia found a couple seats near the center, they kept conversation light to prevent random strangers from eavesdropping. They mostly caught each other up about school and work. When they weren’t talking, they browsed through their phones to kill time. Lizzie was actually in the middle of reading a Facebook post from the school’s english department’s page about their annual New Year’s Cocktail Party when she suddenly felt herself being pulled back into her seat while a voice whispered in her ear. The people sitting around her turned and stared as she let out a shocked shriek. But she didn’t stay embarrassed for long.

“Hey you!” she greeted happily as she leaned back over her seat for another kiss from Eric. “Are you going to sit with us and watch the show?” This was both a yes and no question. Despite being dressed in all black as if he would be helping out backstage tonight, Eric did confirm that he was given permission to leave and watch the show with them. However, he would not be sitting with them.

Despite logic dictating that Olivia could simply just move a seat over so Eric could sit next to her, Lizzie was somehow persuaded to abandon her seat to move to the row behind her where Eric was currently seated. But instead of being a courteous patron of the theatre and going down the row to go to the one behind, she giggled with excitement as she handed Eric her purse then hoisted herself up over her seat. She could hardly hear the disapproving tuts and whispers over hers and Eric’s laughter. But at least Olivia was the courteous one when she moved down the row to join them...although it could be argued that she probably didn’t want to be associated with the embarrassing couple.

Lizzie and Eric behaved themselves once the show started up until the curtain call. While the rest of the audience gradually left the theatre, she, Eric and Olivia stayed behind to wait for the troupe. Lizzie was running on a high of excitement over the show. She asked Eric millions of questions from the plot to the behind the scenes details. Just as she was about to ask about the quick change near the end of the first act, another voice suddenly joined them. And then another voice. And then a group of people - some still in their costumes - surrounded their group. Every single one of them took their turn to speak to Lizzie.

Initially, she was a bit overwhelmed by the amount of attention she was receiving from the troupe. She knew before coming tonight that they knew of her. However, it became very clear very quickly that they actually knew nothing about her. So when they weren’t busy poking fun and teasing Eric for “keeping Lizzie a little secret” they were playing 20 Questions to get to know her better. This continued after everyone in the troupe changed out of their costumes, grabbed their belongings and invited her and Olivia for a drink to celebrate a successful opening night.

When the troupe exhausted their questions to ask to Lizzie, it was nearing midnight and Lizzie was honestly a little tipsy. She should have known that when the troupe invited them for “a drink” that she would be subjected to at least two rounds. By the third round, she was asking Eric to help her finish her drink. Not that anyone seemed to mind. They thought it quite adorable and used it as fuel to ask more questions about their relationship. At one point Lizzie found herself wondering if it was the questions or the alcohol that was making Eric so red. Maybe it was both?

“They seem nice,” Lizzie commented, following Olivia out of the restaurant when they finally managed to pull away from the troupe. Once the door closed behind them, Lizzie scuttled over to stand beside Eric and wrap her arms around his. “Did I make a good impression?” Between the high of meeting new people and the multiple rounds of drinks, Lizzie was still running on a ton of energy as she followed Eric and Olivia back to the car. She couldn’t stop telling the two how happy she was to finally meet the troupe and that they seemed like cool people. To Eric specifically, she told him how much she loved that she finally got to meet some of his friends.

The good vibes of that night followed her into Sunday morning and she was ready to take full advantage of it. Only, just as she was ready for some Sunday morning cuddles with Eric, he announced that he needed to leave earlier than usual to help out with some troupe things before heading to work. She definitely did not like their Sunday morning cuddles being cut short, but she also didn’t want last night’s good mood to fade and just appreciated the time she got before he had to leave her for the next twelve hours.

Lizzie left the flat to go to her group project meeting a couple hours after Eric left for his theatre errand and work. The meeting was in their campus library. One of the group members reserved a study room with a projector so they could all work together on their presentation without having to crowd around a laptop.

The group project was to present an analysis on a literary trope of their choosing. Lizzie’s group decided their topic would be on the “Chosen One” trope. And, yes, Harry Potter was definitely utilized as a literary example of the trope.

Lizzie and her group finished putting together their presentation and distributed speaking parts by five. Outside the library, she sent a quick text to Eric letting him know that she was done with her school thing. If her memory was correct, he should be taking his first break around this time. But as she headed down the stairs into the Underground, Eric still hadn’t messaged her back even after two more texts. She tried not to be too concerned about this. Maybe he was busy today and had to skip his first break. Maybe he’ll get back to her at his lunch. She can try again in an hour.

That plan went straight out the window the moment Lizzie opened the door to her bedroom to find Eric sprawled across their bed. She had to admit that for a moment she thought she was imagining things. After all, wasn’t he supposed to be at work? But then he turned to look at her and she concluded that she definitely was not imagining him being home. “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be at work?” she asked curiously as she dropped her backpack on the desk chair. While she waited for his answer, she went through her typical routine to make herself comfortable at home. However, she realized as she kicked off her shoes and hung her coat that he hadn’t said anything yet. That was when she turned to look at him again and found that he hadn’t gone to sleep. He was still looking right at her, watching her as she moved around the room. But, at the same time, it was like he wasn’t exactly looking at her.

“Babe? You okay?” she asked curiously. She abandoned her task of looking for clothes to change into to join him on the bed. But as she got closer, he still hadn’t said anything nor made any kind of movement. He just...kept looking at her.

“Eric?” she tried again. It seemed like the third time’s the charm. Eric finally spoke. His voice was low and practically a whisper, but he spoke. Even if it was just one word, it was enough to confirm to Lizzie that something was definitely wrong with him.

Lizzie lowered herself onto the edge of bed. She rested her weight against one hand while the other reached out to Eric to rub his arm comfortingly. “Do you wanna talk about it?” she asked carefully. He went silent again. Instead of egging him on to try and get some kind of clear answer out of him, Lizzie waited for when he was ready to talk all the while continuing to rub his arm.

When he finally revealed what was wrong, Lizzie couldn’t hold back her sigh. Of course this had something to do with Barking. Anything involving that place was never good for Eric. It concerned Lizzie though that he hadn’t told her that he was going there today. After urging him to get out of bed to change though, she thought about it some more. He told her today that he needed to leave earlier for troupe business before going to work. Was that a lie? Did he actually lie to her about his plans for today so he didn’t have to worry her about Barking? If that was the case, it obviously didn’t work. His efforts to keep Barking from her backfired because she ended up learning about it in the end.

There wasn’t much time for Lizzie to sit on being upset with Eric that he lied to her about Barking. After they both changed, Lizzie insisted they stay in bed for a little while longer. Instead of getting tucked in under the comforter, they sat together with their backs against the wall and their arms around each other. She really wanted to find the right words to tell him to make him feel better, but what could she say when she knew it was that place that put him in the foul mood?

When they finally talked, it was mostly to get more details about Eric’s day. Lizzie really wanted to know. Turns out he hadn’t exactly lied to her; he withheld the truth. He really did go to the theatre that morning to run his errands before going to work. But it turns out that the errands were much shorter than she initially thought since he switched shifts today. That would explain why he managed to go to Barking and arrive back at the flat before her. She accepted that this was probably better than him going there after his usual Sunday shift. But she still didn’t like that he didn’t tell her he went.

“Look,” Lizzie started slowly, pushing off the wall to turn and look at him. “I know what you did today was because you wanted to keep all that stuff from, like, worrying me. But obviously that’s not working.” She waited for Eric to look at her before continuing. “Babe, that’s twice already that you went to that place and came back upset. I hate seeing you like this and feeling like you can’t tell me why. I can’t imagine going back there will ever get easier. But if you can at least tell me when you’re going, you can come home knowing that you don’t have to bottle up whatever you’re feeling to save face in front of me.” She reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll always worry whenever you go back there. But I need you to understand that you don’t have to go through that alone anymore. I want to be there for you when you come home and not feel like I have to pull the truth out of you. You can trust me with that? Right?”

After talking for a little while longer, Lizzie successfully convinced Eric to get into bed with her. As in under the comforter for warm cuddles. She was relieved to see that he was in better spirits now. So when he suddenly brought up their dinner plans with Anna and Andrew tomorrow, she jumped on that opportunity to keep the mood up. “Yeah, that should be fine. I think they’re going to, like, order takeaway and time the delivery so that it gets to their place at the same time we do? They were initially going to, like, cook something for us, but I had to tell them that I needed to be back home before eight.” When Eric asked why, it occurred to Lizzie that she hadn’t updated him on all that was going on since yesterday. She quickly remedied that by telling him everything about Aiden and Winter Nationals, including how Lacey was practically a ball of stress over the IM. “Like, obviously I’ll watch the IM to support him, but I’m mostly watching to be moral support for Lace. It’s, like, killing her that she couldn’t go with him this weekend ‘cause she has a gig. It’s been kinda up in the air whether he was going to compete in the IM. Like, we didn’t even know if he could get the qualifying time. It’s one of the tougher events he’s competing in since his bad shoulder doesn’t have that full range of motion he needs to give it his all.” She continued to tell Eric more about this for almost an hour until another flatmate came in asking if they wanted to eat dinner.

It was Lizzie’s hope that by the time they returned to bed to call it a night, Eric would feel better after all that happened with his Barking visit. As they climbed back into bed, she watched him carefully as he wrapped his arms around her and made himself comfortable. “Babe?” she called out softly. “Are you okay now?” Instead of a verbal response, she was given a gentle kiss good night. That was enough for her.

On most Monday mornings, Lizzie tried to get out of bed without waking Eric so that he could get as much sleep as possible so he wouldn’t be miserable during his overnight shifts. With all that happened on Sunday with the Barking trip, she wondered if this would be one of those mornings when he would be able to sleep in despite her alarms and movement.

They somehow managed to switch positions during the night. When Lizzie’s alarm went off, she awoke to her arms around Eric with his back against her. At least she would have an easier time slipping out of bed without waking him. She started to believe he would actually sleep in this morning after grabbing her outfit then tiptoeing out of their room to get ready.

Her hope that he would sleep in came to a halt while she sat at the kitchen island eating breakfast. She was in the middle of scrolling through Instagram when she suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap around her. Just like opening night, Lizzie shrieked with shock. This time though, she also had to wait for her racing heart to steady after her initial fear that she was about to fall off her stool. If Eric thought this was funny, she was not ready to laugh with him.

“Jesus, babe! You scared me,” she whined with a pout. She was only bitter about his behavior for a few more seconds before he leaned in for a kiss. After that, all was forgiven.

In the midst of their morning love bubble, her phone suddenly chimed awake letting her know a new text message was waiting for her. Lizzie ignored it for the time being because, well, kissing Eric was just more enjoyable. But then another text came in seconds later and her ping of curiosity went off in her head. She reluctantly pulled away from Eric’s lips to grab her phone. The text messages were from Anna with one of them being a link to a Facebook post.

It should be noted that Eric hadn’t let her go after she halted their morning kissing session. Instead he snuggled up behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder. He was definitely reading over her shoulder as she opened her text window with Anna then opened the link she sent.

The Facebook post was another announcement from the english department about the New Year’s Cocktail Party. Today was the first day tickets would be going on sale for the event and Anna wanted to know if and when she would be buying hers.

She was not the only one interested in the post. Eric was quick to ask about it while he tucked his hands under her shirt. A quick shiver ran through her feeling his hands against her stomach. It always made her giddy whenever he did this. “It’s this party the english department throws every year on New Year’s Day. You know, so students, faculty and alumni can, like, hang out and mingle before term starts. The theme this year is supposed to be inspired by The Great Gatsby. I mean, I guess that’s fitting with all the gold and such.” She closed the Facebook app to return to her text thread with Anna. “Tickets go on sale this week. Anna’s been, like, considering whether to go or not, so she’s been asking me if I wanna go.”

Anna wasn’t the only one interested in whether or not she was going to the party. Lizzie pulled her gaze away from her phone to turn and look at Eric with a curious expression. “I haven’t decided, honestly. I don’t even know what I’m going to do for New Years yet. Why, is this something you would be interested in?” she asked. She caught a momentary glint in Eric’s eyes at the question. But it disappeared when he asked if the event was only for people in the english department.

A bright smile spread across her lips. “If I say no, does that make you my plus one?” she teased.

When Lizzie stepped into the lecture hall of her first class, she immediately found Anna at their usual seats. The moment she took her seat, she pulled her phone out of her coat pocket and opened the Facebook post about the ticket sales. She then followed the attached link to the site where the tickets can be bought and tapped the + button until the “2” appeared. Her heart was aflutter with excitement as she and Anna bought the tickets.

Buying the tickets for the New Year’s party set the mood for the rest of the day. It didn’t matter to Lizzie that it was gray and raining outside the whole day. She was happy to have New Years plans with Eric and even happier about seeing him later for dinner with Anna and Andrew.

Since it was still raining when it got closer to four, Lizzie told Eric to meet them inside campus near the cafe on the first floor. That was an hour ago. With half an hour left of her last class and Eric without access to the internet to keep her occupied, Lizzie thought time was teasing her. It just seemed to be going ten times slower than it did earlier.

When they were finally dismissed, it took all of Lizzie’s self-control not to bolt out of the classroom. She didn’t want to leave Anna behind just because she was excited to see Eric. Actually, she would leave her friend behind if it meant seeing Eric sooner. But she kept herself together and waited for Anna to collect her things. As always, Andrew was outside the classroom waiting for Anna them. From that point on, Lizzie led them all the way to the cafe on the first floor.

Even in a crowd, it didn’t take Lizzie very long to find Eric. He just always stood out to her. “Eric!” she cried out, dodging her way around passing students to make her way over to where Eric was standing. An instant smile spread across her face with just a few steps left between them. Her excitement caused her to skip the remaining couple steps just so she could be in his arms faster. It was as if they hadn’t seen each other for years when it was only since breakfast. But Lizzie just couldn’t help it. Today just made her so excited to be with Eric, especially because he didn’t have rehearsal taking him away from her.

Their happy reunion was interrupted when Anna and Andrew finally caught up to them. Greetings were exchanged since they haven’t seen Eric since Open Mic Night and it’s not like they talk to him as often as they talk to Lizzie. Not surprising, at least not to Lizzie anymore, catching up between the three of them was kept short and to the point. Brits really don’t care much for small talk. Soon after, Andrew suggested they order their dinner now before heading out into the rain.

“This is your first time at our flat?” Anna asked Eric as she unlocked the door. Andrew remained downstairs in the lobby to wait for the food. “Come on in. Make yourself at home, yeah?” Lizzie followed behind Anna inside the flat. She gave Eric’s hand a gentle squeeze as she led him over to the small dining table. As she slipped off her backpack and coat, she waited for Eric to slip off his own before taking it from him to bring to the living room area.

“How was your day?” Lizzie asked Eric as they waited for the others to join them. “Do anything interesting in-between our texts?” ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 120318-----------❖ LOCATION — their room-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie (and lacey?)
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---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

How was his day? That was a very good question that had Eric pausing while he replayed the hours from breakfast till now in his head. Normally the longer you work at something difficult, the easier it gets. Right? Practice makes perfect and all. So then why was it that with each passing week any time spent apart from Lizzie just got harder and harder?

It was manageable at work or rehearsal as he could keep busy. But that morning he had watched her from the doorway until she was out of sight and after finally closing the door he was hit with a heavy longing sensation. It was similar to when you haven’t seen someone in a long time— when you miss someone. But he had no reason to be missing her so badly when she had just left the house. It didn’t make any sense, but he did, and it was all entwined with a desperate neediness that was reserved only for Lizzie and had been growing stronger and stronger as their relationship had. Obviously there was a passionate sexual component to the feeling. After all he loved her too much and could still feel her lips on his after she had left. But there was also a sort of childlike panic to it. Like he never moved on from his mum leaving him on the first day of school when he was little. His entire world was altered the moment she left his sight and without any plans of his own that day Eric found himself completely alone in the flat.

It wasn’t that he spent the day completely miserable. Just….lonely. Eric had been alone most of his life and now with Lizzie for the first time he had someone to come home to. Someone to look forward to seeing. But with that came the deep longing and Eric was realizing just how much he hated being alone. He never had a choice before. He didn’t know any different, but now that he knew what it felt like to love and be loved in return...he just wanted to feel that all the time.

“Do anything interesting in-between our texts?”
“No...just missed you,” he had responded so quickly that there was a brief silence now, their eyes dancing between each others almost as if the two of them were weighing whether he was trying to be cute and romantic or if he was completely serious. It was honestly a little of both but more so the later. Eric ran his fingers through his hair as he started from the top.

“I got back in bed for a while after you left,” He didn’t need to explain that he had woken up just as exhausted as when they had fallen asleep. She knew. And he had known she knew since the way she looked at him that morning in the kitchen, the way his limited energy melted at her touch and the way she lingered when she said goodbye to him at the door as though contemplating stalling to stay behind just a little longer. Eric had in fact managed to doze on and off for about another hour or so but his exhaustion only won over for so long before the cold awareness that he was alone once again settled in. He could probably count on one hand the number of times he had been in this bed without Lizzie and it was never a good feeling. It only made it more apparent that she wasn’t here. Hugging her pillow just wasn’t the same as hugging her. And despite wearing his Mickey sweatshirt and hiding beneath the comforter, he was still cold without her here to heat up the bed. Honestly it wasn’t that bad. Eric was used to much worse sleeping in the common room or even his car. But it was just the comparison of the bed with and without Lizzie and it was just adding to his loneliness.

His hands though...his hands were in fact freezing without her here to warm them up— under her shirt— against her skin— Eric reached the point that he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. He wasn’t usually one to sleep in late anyways. Usually on his days off, or days that he didn’t start until late, Eric would run errands. Usually for the troupe but also for himself. Errands for himself usually consisted of either food or laundry. But Lizzie had fed him that morning after they had talked through New Year’s Eve. And as for laundry...his eyes trailed over from his place in bed to the practically empty laundry hamper...Lizzie had already done it. But then he caught sight of the pile stacked up on desk and chair. It was something at least. A reason for him to get out of bed before his exhaustion turned into depression. A reason to stay busy.

”And I uhm, tried to put away our laundry,” Tried in this case referring to the fact that Eric didn’t exactly know where Lizzie kept everything, it wasn’t tried as in lacking motivation and giving up halfway. No, no. Eric was plenty motivated. Lizzie hadn’t just washed her clothes after all, she had washed their clothes. So the absolute least he could do was put them away so that she could have her desk space back to be able to work there. It was mostly his fault anyways that neither of them had put away their clothes. Saturday they had come home late and tipsy from hanging out with his troupe. The laundry didn’t stand a chance with them in that state. And then Sunday...Sunday he had come home heartbroken and Lizzie had dropped anything else she had wanted to do the rest of the day to stay by his side until the pieces mended back together.

It was a lot of opening and closing drawers as each time he would find where it looked like one thing would go his mind would go blank with the next item he grabbed and forget what each drawer he had opened already contained. Okay well, his memory wasn’t that bad with this laundry puzzle. But there was certainly a lot of opening and closing the same drawer multiple times in a row and then going on autopilot and opening it again only to realize he needed a different one. It might have been smarter for him to have sorted through the piles beforehand to put all the shirts, pants, etc, all away at the same time. But no, Eric had got one by one just down the pile. After all this was partially to serve as a distraction, and it would be a lie to say he wasn’t enjoying going through her clothes. Each one had a specific memory attached to it and would bring him back to remember that particular day with Lizzie.

The one exception to both the pile sorting and the memory game were her socks, bras and underwear. Those he had sort of created another pile for to put away last. Not for any particular reason. He usually put his own away all at once and the habit sort of carried over. And the memory attachment? Well...honestly a part of Eric was a little intrigued. He had only seen Lizzie without or only partially clothed a handful of times when they were alone. And not to mention she usually had a routine of changing in the bathroom. So he didn’t recognize the majority of her undergarments the way he did her day clothes, and instead of remembering her in them he found himself imagining her in them.

That’s not to say he was going through them or anything, but whatever was out for viewing opened the door for his mind to wander until he got himself under control and finally opened the last two drawers he needed. He had discovered them earlier during all his drawer opening, so by now he knew which was which. The socks came first and he made sure to double check that each pair was joined together so his love wouldn’t have to rummage for that one missing sock. The other drawer did take him a little longer though. He had to pause and glance through to see if and how Lizzie folded or organized away her underwear. Personally he just shoved his own in the same bin and grabbed as he needed, a habit he had acquired from his mother. But he knew Olivia for instance was very particular about hers. She always had been. So with the other two women in his life being on total opposite ends of the spectrum, of course Eric had to take the time to make sure he put Lizzie’s away properly. This was Lizzie after all. His Lizzie. His love. His everything. Even the simplest of things were important when it came to her and he wanted to make sure he got this right.

Everything seemed so pushed forward as he put them away, almost as if something was in the way. But before Eric could look into what might be giving him trouble his eye caught his iPod light up on the desk indicating that he had a new message waiting to be read and he would much rather talk to Lizzie herself than fight with her underwear drawer. Everything fit, that’s what mattered. Eric texted back and forth briefly, taking advantage of the time Lizzie could focus on him but at the next lull in conversation he put down the device and pushed himself on to keep busy and not let himself wait on Lizzie’s every word.

A shower ended up being next on his agenda.

When he returned to their room intending to text Lizzie his eyes were instead drawn to his backpack on the floor beside the desk. Now that the laundry was all cleared away, his bag stuck out as being the remaining mess in the otherwise clean room. He wasn’t particularly motivated to write right now, but just seeing his backpack was a reminder that he should be taking advantage of this freetime he had and at least try.

Eric had every intention to try and write, he truly was going to force himself to sit at Lizzie’s desk and read through his work to see if he still felt the same about some ideas he had been on the fence with. But when he saw the photos of his mother and best friends still in his bag all his morale and motivation plummeted. He wasn’t exactly upset, at least not the same way he had been the other night when they fell out of his book. But it was enough that Eric lost the will to stay and write. He didn’t want to be here anymore. Not with her following him everywhere he went. He wasn’t sure where this destructive surge of emotion came from but Eric suddenly grabbed the photos, both of them with his one hand and letting them crumple under his strength and then dropped them into the waste bin at the desk.

Had Eric been paying more attention he would have noticed that the crumpled photos had hit the edge of the bin and fallen out to the floor rather than successfully being thrown away, but he had been too blinded by his hurt and was moving too quickly to notice.

”But otherwise I didn’t really do much today.” Despite what she had told him yesterday about telling her these things so that she could be there for him, Eric had decided not to tell Lizzie about his temper flare up and throwing away his photos. Not yet at least, he reasoned with himself that he would tell her when they returned home after dinner if it was still bothering him, but he didn’t want to bring it up right now and risk ruining the rest of their evening. He just didn’t want her to worry about him anymore than she already did.

As they moved on from talking about his uneventful day, Eric found himself glancing around the room a little more and taking in as much of Anna and Andrew’s flat as he could see from the table. Sitting here was sending his mind skipping through a daydream. A fantasy world as he imagined what it would be like to live like this, alone with Lizzie, just the two of them. Forever.

After lunch and dinner with Lizzie’s family, by now Eric had plenty of practice by now and more or less knew what to expect. There was enough overlap between Anna and Andrew's questions and the Darcy's questions just over a week ago that Eric was able to answer with more confidence now that he was comfortably adjusted into both the flat and more importantly his position in Lizzie’s life as her boyfriend. Well, that last point was a little questionable. But getting her family’s approval had definitely been a huge boost for him, and he was aware that the things he worried about were pretty irrational and all in his head. So yeah, he was feeling better now and holding his own compared to the usual dynamic when he and Lizzie were in a group setting.

That’s not to say he didn’t still find ways to maintain contact with her. Usually it was under the table via his leg crossing into her space or his hand resting on her thigh. But he had his moments above where all could see, ranging from the subtle ones of just his arm resting against hers, his fingers brushing over hers when he asked her to pass him a napkin, or the way he stared at her even sometimes when someone else was speaking...to the blatantly obviousness of his arm wrapped across the back of her chair and his fingers rubbing at the space between her shoulder and neck as the four of them just conversed over the now empty plates on the table.

Dinner had been nice, and much more lowkey than prior socials they had been a part of. This had been easier for Eric to manage. But the best part had been when Lizzie announced they needed to head out because she had to get back home in time for her friend’s swim meet. It wasn’t that Eric hadn’t been enjoying himself, but he was definitely ready for a break and more importantly to finally be alone with Lizzie for the first time since their breakfast practically half a day ago. He was thankful Lizzie had other plans to get to as a reason for them to leave and not just let the evening drag on until it was no longer fun. There was no way he would have been able to tell her he wanted to go, not when it was just the four of them sitting in a flat. That was far too much pressure. So this pre-planned “out” worked perfectly for him.

And even better yet, they had left earlier than they had needed to. Lizzie still had plenty of time until her friends would once again steal away her attention, and Eric too just needed to change for work but he could put that off for a while longer and just soak up this time he had with Lizzie before their bubble world got interrupted by the real one.

They had started just sitting on the edge of the bed, talking a little more about dinner now that they were in the privacy of her bedroom and not the train ride home. But one kiss too long led to two kisses too many and it wasn’t long before they lay side by side unable to fight off that magnetic attraction they had dealt with all evening throughout dinner. It had been such a tease sitting so close to her after being so far from her all day. But now he could finally fill that void he’d felt all day.

This was such a high contrast compared to yesterday. Yesterday he had just been so overwhelmingly sad. To the point that literally everything had felt so hopeless and pointless. Even Lizzie coming home, which was his favorite part of any day, had failed to lift his spirits. It had taken a good while for him to “come back” and let Lizzie in, but even then he had held back. She had asked him just before they went to bed whether he felt better. And the answer had been a non-verbal yes, he had felt better compared to a couple hours before. but he had still fallen asleep with years of deep depression looming over his shoulder, just waiting for its chance to strike again. But today—tonight—right now—this was nothing like that. Lizzie wasn’t leaving any space for his sadness to enter their world and he wasn’t leaving any space for them to even breathe. Not until they had switched positions and he now lay flat on his back with her sitting on him.

His breaths came quickly, his chest rising and falling with each one but Eric’s lungs were on their own as the rest of him only had one thing in mind and she was staring back at him just as out of breath. Eric’s hands ran along the inside of her thighs until he reached where the hem of her shirt sat against her waist and his fingers tugged at it slightly as they fought to reach her skin beneath, ”Take it off…”

Eric’s voice was soft, almost a whisper even, but any words that may have followed after were lost as Lizzie complied with his request. Even if he had wanted to try there would be no hiding his eyes as they immediately traveled from her face down, completely fixated on her body. It was usually so dark when they were together in bed. Fighting to keep quiet so as to not wake Ricki on the other side of the room. But Ricki wasn’t here. And it wasn’t so late to have the lights off, so Eric was taking it all in now while he had the chance— having already done away with her hair tie, he just about lost it when she brushed all her hair over to one side and tilted her head ever so slightly.

His own shirt had rode up in all their earlier movement and now exposed a good bit of his tatted midriff, but just as he had gotten lost in her it seemed that Lizzie had found a distraction in him as well. Eric’s abdomen tightened when her fingers brushed against his skin. It was an involuntary reaction on his part, as though her fingers had been cold against his skin. Only they were far from cold. It didn’t take long until he squirmed beneath her touch. He was so conflicted, a part of him was trying to move away while the other just wanted more and he arched in towards her. For a while his fixation on her kept him preoccupied enough that he could ignore the part of him deep within that was pleading for her to stop, but he did eventually reach a limit and Eric’s hand grabbed Lizzie’s to stop her while the other pushed him upright to meet her.

He released her hand just as quickly, now that she was in reach and he could run his own hands over her he wanted nothing more than to do just that. His lips had found hers now, kissing the both of them quiet but it wasn’t long until his movement slowed again as he buried himself against her chest and his arms settled loosely against her to hold her in place. He could feel his own breath bouncing off her skin and hitting him back in the face, and their combined heat radiating off of them.

It may have been cold outside but he was getting far too warm with Lizzie’s body pressed up against his. His hoodie had obviously been abandoned long ago when they first started but now his t-shirt was agitating him as it clung to his skin and separated the two of them with that one last barrier of cotton. He wasn’t the only one bothered by his shirt though. He could feel Lizzie’s fingers fumbling for the hem of his shirt and once she found it, began lifting it up, silently prompting him to release her and assist as she pulled it up over his head and discarded it out of their way.

Now it was Lizzie’s turn to take a moment just to stare down at him. They still sat so close with her on his lap but Eric’s one arm supported his weight as he leaned back ever so slightly. His other hand refused to lose contact and first slipped a rebellious strand of hair behind her ear before returning to rest very high up on her thigh while he let her have her moment.

His body was itching to move again. He didn’t want to just sit here staring any longer. But as Lizzie’s fingers returned to run over his skin and as she trailed back to the lowest tattoos he felt that same paralyzing shudder run through him. He didn’t like this. But his body seemed to say otherwise and egged her on. Where Lizzie’s touch was once gentle, it now was determined as she pushed down on his chest until he lay flat on his back again, kissing him all the while. Eric tried so hard to allow himself to give in to the sensation and good feelings she gave him that he had craved all day, but that hand of hers just wouldn’t give it a rest as she ran across his lower midsection. He couldn’t stay quiet nor could he still his hands as one wrapped around her waist and the other the back of her head to hold her in place. He wanted this so badly— but then Lizzie’s hand angled just enough that her nails skimmed across his skin and his breath caught in his throat as his body froze in anticipation. Where there was pleasure, pain was sure to follow.

In that split second his whole body had seized up and he pulled away panting, “—ck.”
Now that their lips were no longer locked, the connection came from their eyes as Eric stared up at her completely breathless while his heart pounded away in his chest. Should they stop? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to, but it was hard to ignore the slight panic that gripped him now similar to the adrenaline rush of a jump scare, ”I— “

Eric’s desperation outweighed rationale and he cut himself off as he leaned up into her, kissing her again in hopes of distracting the both of them back into their fantasyland. At first his hands moved on his own, trying to bring back everything they had had going for them just a moment ago, but as soon as he felt Lizzie’s hand run along him again he immediately moved to address it. At first Eric’s hand pushed between hers and his own skin, but the message of his action must have gotten lost as the both of them were so wrapped up in one another and his own hands were running across her as well. So then Eric grabbed her hand like before to stop her as a soft mixture of a needy moan and a ”...no…” escaped him.

He himself wasn’t stopping though, he was too scared to stop and face that sickening feeling he hadn’t had to deal with in years. No, he would much rather just keep this going with Lizzie. Eric gripped her tight as he moved to slip to the side out from and quickly flipped her over so she was now under him. His body had spread her legs and his weight crushing down against her as he adopted a much more dominant position now. Eric’s focus was at her neck, just below her ear, down towards her clavicle and then back up some to where her skin was the softest. He needed this. He needed to banish those bad memories before they could take root and ruin everything between them like every single fucking thing in his life did. Please. He just wanted something to go right for them for once.

It took a couple rings for Eric to register to sound of the phone, he was too far gone. But it seemed Lizzie was slow to make the connection as well until all at once they both realized she had been waiting on this call all along. Lizzie had plans. That’s why they had come home early. Lizzie was busy and Eric needed to go to work but look what they had gotten themselves into instead.

He pulled back reluctantly, as though wishing she would choose to ignore her friends and stay with him instead. But he knew Lizzie was too good a person to do that and she proved him right as she slid out from under him as soon as he released her. They were both fighting to catch their breath now but while Lizzie was panicking to look presentable and answer her call, Eric hung back and just sat on the bed a moment longer as he rush processed the shock that had just ransacked his memories. When he did get up it was to retrieve his shirt and slip it back on as he moved away from the bed where Lizzie had stationed herself.

The come down was quick and hit him hard as reality took back over. Eric watched Lizzie as she finally answered the phone; his hand absentmindedly running low across his waist underneath his shirt where her hands had been, as though trying to rub away the ghostly phantom touches she had awakened from years before. But when she glanced his way, Eric’s eyes flickered up to meet her gaze. He didn’t really have words right now, not even his usual apologies. He was just trapped in this in-between state: the torturous feeling of an interrupted arousal, his never ending appetite when it came to his love for Lizzie, and then that dark shadow of his mind that was steadily moving in.

”Uhm...I’m gonna…” He sort of gestured towards the door but stopped to grab his clothes from his closet. Eric generally just changed in their room unless Ricki was in there, but today he had other reasons for choosing to go change in the bathroom. Other reasons being the cold shower—despite having already showered that morning—he needed in order to wake up and calm down if he was going to survive his overnight shift that he needed to leave for shortly.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 120418-----------❖ LOCATION — their bedroom-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
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---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

If there was any way to kill time before she needed to contact Lacey to watch Aiden’s swim event, Lizzie had no reservations spending it doing this. The moment the first kiss lingered a moment longer than expected, she knew she was puddy in Eric’s hands. Whatever he wanted to do after that first kiss she would go with it wholeheartedly. After all that happened with Eric the other day, she wanted him to completely forget about it and only feel how good it was to just be together in their own little bubble world. She didn’t need a sign to let her know that he wanted this as much as she did.

Each time his hands brushed against her skin under her shirt brought shivers all throughout her body. And it only made her more excited. Lizzie also couldn’t get enough of his lips on her; whether it was on her lips or on other parts of her. He was just driving her crazy how much she wanted him. Whatever he wanted of her, she would gladly oblige just as long as she could have more. Oh god, how she wanted so much more.

It was all just too much and Lizzie found it impossible to focus on everything at once. So she focused on the way Eric touched her. How it tickled every time his hand rode up her thigh even through the fabric of her pants. She couldn’t help the giggles that escaped her even as her lips were busy kissing his. Her mind went in circles the moment she became hyper aware of how close his other hand was to the clasp of her bra. And how it killed her when he slid his hand away a couple seconds later. He was torturing her and the desperation showed as she moaned pleadingly into their kiss. She couldn’t take it any longer how much more clothing there was between them. If he wasn’t going to do something about it, she would take her turn.

In the midst of their passion, Eric’s shirt rode up enough that Lizzie could feel his bare stomach against hers. While they continued their kiss and ignored how much their lungs needed air badly, Lizzie’s hands trailed down until they no longer felt fabric. The first contact with his overheating skin brought tingles to her fingertips. So much so that she completely forgot her previous mission to just enjoy this addicting sensation. She understood now why Eric always buried his hands under her shirt.

Lizzie pulled away for a moment to watch him. She wanted to see his reaction as her hands slowly grazed against his skin; to see if he felt the same way she did every time he did this to her. Each time she watched his eyes flutter shut for a moment, she leaned into him to kiss his neck or his collarbone. At first her hands traveled across the butterfly tattoo that took up more than half the area of his stomach. Were she not so focused on watching his involuntary enjoyment of this, she would have used more than her hands to play around with the butterfly. For now, she would let her fingertips trace along the wings and the body.

With each chest fall and deep breath Eric took, Lizzie grew more confident and eager for more. As she returned to leaving tender kisses along the side of his neck - something she learned overtime he greatly enjoyed - she climbed over him to straddle his lap. All the while her hands ever so teasingly traveled even lower. The butterfly had enough of her attention. It was time for yet another tattoo to take its turn.

She brushed her thumbs across the ferns once to get a reaction. She could feel his muscles tighten against her fingertips while she watched his breath catch in his chest. That definitely had to mean he was enjoying this. But just as she was about to do another brush over, she felt herself being stopped by Eric’s firm grip on her hand. This distracted her for a second and she pulled away from his neck to watch him. But just as her eyes found his, he came up to meet her and continue where they had paused. Whatever concerns she may have had when he stopped her, they vanished instantly.

But the distraction didn’t last very long. Lizzie was growing impatient with what little progress they made since he took off her shirt. She needed him to join her. And after a bit of fumbling to once again find the hem of his shirt, he did. It has been a while since she last saw her love shirtless and she wanted to remind herself of what’s been hidden from her this whole time.

It was as if she was being introduced to the tattoos all over again. Obviously she knew about the swallows, the butterfly and the ferns. But she was then reminded of the tiny dates and the even tinier crosses. And the cursive “A” and “J” on either side of his shoulders; two tattoos she constantly forgets exist since they rarely make an appearance. And all the other random tattoos against his skin that are forever hidden under his shirt. It is very rare for Lizzie to see these tattoos without needing to take his shirt off. She needed to enjoy them while she had the chance.

And enjoy them she did. She could feel his eyes watching her as she gazed at every tattoo. Wherever her eyes looked, her hands followed. They eventually traveled lower until her eyes stopped at the ferns. Once again her thumbs brushed across them. And once again, she felt Eric tense from what she could only guess was anticipation and excitement because of her touch. How she wanted so much more of this; to be the reason he felt so good. His reaction to her touch told her that the area where the ferns were had to be his most sensitive. Not that she blamed him considering how easy it is for her to go even lower at any given moment.

Which is exactly what she intended to do had Eric not stopped her once again. She was just about to do one more brush over of the ferns when his free hand stopped her. But just as she looked up at him, her vision was blocked by him and his kiss. Next thing she knew, her hands were no longer on his lower abdomen while he returned to exploring all of her.

Soon after, it was her on her back with him in-between her legs. As much as she enjoyed her time on top, Lizzie would never deny how crazy Eric made her feel when she gave him the power. The moment she felt his weight against her, he had her wrapped around his finger the way her legs were wrapped around his waist. From that moment onwards, she could neither grasp the reality around her nor care to. All that mattered right now was focusing on Eric and how good she felt being with him.

This disconnect from the world around them was the reason Lizzie completely ignored the first call. And the second call. When the third call came, it only succeeded in bringing Lizzie back to the real world because Eric once again stopped her hand from going lower than the ferns. She just opened her eyes once more to give him a questioning look when her phone ringing registered in her senses. She immediately remembered exactly why they came home early from dinner.

“Oh shoot!” she gasped, sliding out from under Eric to climb out of bed. Lizzie panicked slightly as she bent down to grab her shirt off the floor. The ringing in the background didn’t help either. The longer it rang, the more she realized she was not prepared to talk to Lacey. Even without a mirror, she knew she looked a mess.

Lizzie rushed to put her shirt back on and put her hair back up in a ponytail. She then grabbed her laptop off the desk and returned to the bed, taking the spot next to Eric. But before she answered the call, she watched as Eric suddenly left her side to grab his shirt. She continued to watch him after he slipped his shirt back on and then stand at the edge of their bed as if in the middle of a thought.

“Hey, are you--” Before she could utter another word, Eric excused himself with a jumbled attempt at a sentence and a gesture towards the door. She sighed, nodding in understanding as she watched him grab some clothes from his dresser then leave the room. Once he closed the door behind him, the only thing left for Lizzie to focus on was Lacey’s incoming fourth call. It was definitely time for her to answer before her best friend could freak out.

As soon as the video call loaded up on her laptop and Lacey’s face filled up the entire screen, Lizzie wished she spent the entirety of their initial phone call making herself look more presentable. Her best friend immediately shot her a weird look. “Did you just...wake up from a nap or something?” was the first thing Lacey said.

“Um…” Lizzie paused, her gaze traveling to the still closed door to her bedroom. “Or something?” This was met with a raised brow from Lacey. But before she could say anything else, Lizzie shifted the conversation away from whatever was playing through her best friend’s head to refocus on the reason they were having this video call in the first place. Luckily, Lizzie could always rely on Aiden to play the perfect distraction when it came to Lacey.

When Eric finally returned from the bathroom, Lizzie just loaded up the livestream of the swim meet and was in the middle of listening to Lacey talk about the phone call she had with Aiden earlier. As much as she wanted to focus on the dual screen display on her laptop, the return of her own boyfriend was hard to ignore. Lizzie watched as Eric moved around the bedroom collecting his things as if getting ready to leave. For a brief second, she looked down at the time on her phone and frowned. There was still another hour before he had to leave for work. Why was he getting ready now?

“Lacey? Hold on. I’ll be back,” Lizzie interrupted. She placed her laptop down on the bed then climbed off it to walk over to Eric.

“You’re leaving already? I thought you start at eleven…” It was hard for Lizzie to hide the concern on her face. “You know I’m not, like, kicking you out or anything. You’re welcome to stay and watch Aiden’s event with me. It’ll only take, like, five minutes once all the swimmers are introduced.” Any hope of keeping Eric at home for a little while longer was lost when he explained that needed to head to the hotel early. Lizzie could feel the disappointment on her face. “Oh...okay, well I’ll walk you out….” She waited for Eric to put on his jacket and grab his backpack before following him out of their bedroom. At the front door, Lizzie watched as he unlocked the door. The more she realized he was leaving right after they spent all this time fooling around, the more she found it hard to push away her disappointment. If she had known he needed to go to the hotel earlier than expected, she would have made sure they progressed more than they did.

“Text me when you’re at the hotel, okay? I love you.” Lizzie told him before he walked through the front door. She then leaned closer for a goodbye kiss. As disappointed as she was that they had to cut their passionate time together so short, she would never let him leave without one last kiss. Especially since they would not be seeing each other until tomorrow night. God, she was going to miss him so damn much.

Aiden’s swim event did what it could to distract Lizzie after Eric left for work. She did her part to keep Lacey calm throughout the introductions of the competitors. It really didn’t help when the announcer mentioned Aiden’s comeback after his accident years ago. Even now, years after his recovery, Lizzie could tell the accident was still a tough topic for those two. After the introductions, it was time for the event they were all nervous for. While Lacey spent much of it worrying over her boyfriend’s shoulder, Lizzie used her swim knowledge to note her old swimmate’s performance throughout each lap. She tried her best to hide her concerns when she noticed something off about the way Aiden executed his strokes halfway through the backstroke, but Lacey caught her and she was forced to explain if something was wrong. But eventually, the two best friends made it through watching the event and Aiden did good. He did better than his qualifying time and based on what Lizzie saw on the livestream, his shoulder survived. That was enough for her to let out a sigh of relief and reassure Lacey that Aiden did great for his first swim meet leading up to Tokyo. As soon as Aiden was no longer seen on the livestream, Lacey announced that she was going to leave so she could wait for Aiden’s call.

Lizzie no longer had Aiden’s swimming to focus on. She was now left all alone with her thoughts. And suffice it to say, they were absolutely cruel to her.

Aiden’s swim is done and lacey hella ditched​

me right after. I miss you.​

As the evening grew later, the more Lizzie found herself practically yearning for Eric to be home. His overnight shifts were always hard for her. But tonight was just too cruel. She couldn’t get their time together before Aiden’s swim out of her mind. It replayed itself over and over in her mind nonstop. Every kiss. Every touch. Each breath, moan and whisper filled her with excitement and longing. She didn’t want it to be a memory, she wanted the real thing. This longing kept Lizzie up well into the middle of the night with her phone glued to her hand. Every restless minute was spent waiting for Eric to text her back. Even when he insisted she go to sleep, she refused. She wanted to spend time with him, even if she had to resort to just texts throughout the night.

Eric won in the end though. Admittedly, Lizzie started fighting sleep around two so that she could stay up and talk to Eric. So when he went ten minutes without a response back to her text sometime after three, Lizzie’s eyes started to feel heavier. She didn’t even realize she fell asleep until her alarm practically blew her left eardrum out. Even with only about three hours of sleep, that was enough to jolt her wide awake.

Morning babe! I’m so sorry I missed your text!​

Ended up falling asleep after all...​

As torturous as last night was for Lizzie, being at work was just as cruel. Being at her internship, she found herself constantly checking her phone wishing Eric would respond back to her last text. He stopped responding sometime after he told her he was finally back at the flat. Of course Lizzie couldn’t blame him for knocking out as soon as he got home. However, that didn’t stop her from wishing he hadn’t. The longing she felt since last night followed her into the day and made time drag slowly. Each time she looked at the clock to check the time she wondered if it was suddenly moving backwards just to tease her.

When three finally came, Lizzie immediately grabbed her phone out of her purse to call Eric. He left her a text a while back letting her know he was awake, but she was in the middle of sitting in on a meeting to respond back. Now that she was free from work, she couldn’t bother with texting any longer.

“Hi babe! I just finished with work!” she greeted, her mouth twisting into the brightest grin hearing Eric’s voice for the first time in over twelve hours. God his voice was like heaven whether she missed him desperately or not. “I’m gonna head home now. But do you wanna meet up at the cafe? I’m, like, empty. I didn’t really eat much during my lunch.” Eric agreed, of course. They discussed their plans to meet at the cafe for an early dinner before Lizzie hung up and entered the Underground.

As promised, Lizzie sent Eric a quick text letting him know that she was leaving the station near the flat. This was his cue to head to the cafe so that he didn’t end up waiting for her there for half an hour. If they knew their routes to and from the train station, the cafe and the flat well enough, they should make it to the cafe at about the same time.

Sure enough, when Lizzie opened the door to the cafe, Eric was standing to the side waiting for her. A strange mixture of emotions overcame her the second she saw Eric. Pure happiness from reuniting with him on top of the all too familiar magnetic pull she feels just being in the same room as him. And as the cherry on top, the lingering yearning for him that she’s held onto since he left her for work last night. All these emotions swelling up inside her caused her to throw caution to the wind as she rushed over to him for the kiss she’s been craving all day. Who cares if the English don’t care for PDA. Lizzie and Eric weren’t showing their love and devotion to each other for anyone else’s benefit but their own. The rest of the cafe would just have to deal until their bubble world inflated once again.

Luckily for the patrons of the cafe, Lizzie and Eric managed to behave for the rest of their visit. Their happy reunion at the entrance satiated whatever longing feelings they still had from last night. Once they ordered their food and found a table, they remained civilized long enough to catch each other up on their time apart. They found plenty to talk about while out in public. But while Lizzie did her best to keep up conversation, she could not help getting distracted every time Eric’s arm grazed her back across her chair or whenever his leg bumped into hers under the table. And don’t even get her started when he placed his hand on her thigh. The longer they stayed at the cafe, the more she found it difficult to listen to him talk about...what was he talking about?

“Hey, so, since you don’t have rehearsals tomorrow, do you wanna do something after you get off work?” Lizzie asked, wrapping Eric’s arm around her shoulders as they walked back to the flat. “Maybe not, like, eat out or anything. You probably don’t want to be out after work, right? Maybe we can have dinner at home. Order some takeaway. Or maybe we can cook something? I’m no master chef like Malcolm, but I promise not to set the kitchen on fire.”

They were still debating takeaway for dinner or cooking dinner when they arrived back at the flat. Not surprising, it was still empty of the other flatmates. Other than Angel, who was on a business trip until Thursday, the rest of the flat was scheduled to begin coming home in a couple hours. And Lizzie was very aware of this fact.

When they returned to their room, Lizzie couldn’t help watching Eric as they pulled off their jackets. She wondered, as she has been wondering since the cafe, if he felt the same way she’s been feeling all day. The silence throughout the flat heightened how much she wanted to continue where they left off yesterday. But just the thought of asking him made her face burn with embarrassment.

As Eric busied hanging both of their jackets, Lizzie sat on the bed with her back against the wall. She pulled her hair out of its ponytail then massaged her scalp to release some of the tension. That was when she noticed Eric watching her from where he was standing. She dropped her hands onto her lap, letting her hair fall to one side as she returned his gaze. Her heart pounded in her chest the longer he looked at her and she wondered if he could hear it in the silence of their bedroom.

“Come here…” she said suddenly, pushing off the wall to kneel on the bed. Even kneeling on the bed, Eric towered over her. Not that it mattered. One moment he stood in front of her with such an intense gaze, the next her eyes closed as he leaned in to kiss her. Lizzie didn’t bother waiting this time. Before he let his hands wander across her body, she found the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head to discard on the floor. And it was that action that set off the moment Lizzie has been longing for since Eric left for work last night.

A gasp escaped her as she fell back onto the bed. The eagerness in Eric’s actions told her everything she needed to know and it fueled her excitement more. She couldn’t even pinpoint when exactly she too lost her shirt before he climbed on top of her. Just like yesterday, the world around them fell away the moment his body weighed her down on the bed and the only way she could keep herself from melting at his every touch was by focusing on his touch.

She breathed out another moan into his kiss. His eagerness from earlier continued and it made her more desperate to have more of him. Her hands untangled themselves from Eric’s hair to trail down his shoulders, past his arms then onto his chest. Her fingertips rested at the very edge of the swallows just so she could feel how fast his heart beat. The very instant her hands touched his skin, they radiated so much heat she could hardly register that their bedroom was still pretty cold.

Then she let her hands trail down his chest every so slowly. She wanted her every touch to linger on his skin the way his forever lingered on hers. She wanted him to remember the way her fingers felt on him whether they were together or apart. She wanted him to know exactly the way he made her feel.

But as she rested her hands against the butterfly, Lizzie pulled away from his eager kiss to look up at him. In the light of their bedroom and the heat of their passion, Lizzie got lost in his eyes. The very same eyes that she once thought were simply blue, but overtime learned was more green. The kind of green that could be seen in the ocean when the sun hit the water just right. It was the kind of green that could trick a person into believing it was blue. Those eyes. Those beautiful eyes made her the luckiest person in the world.

“I want you…” she whispered into their bubble world. She didn’t need to say anything else as she lifted her head off the pillow to meet his lips.

Lizzie found a new sense of bravery as Eric’s hair fell like a curtain around their kiss. She felt invincible, like nothing could come in the way of their love. She knew at this very moment that this was their moment; this was the right time. Their previous attempts were just a warm up to prepare them for this very moment; to shake off the nerves they may be feeling. Lizzie knew now more than ever that she trusted Eric with all of her.

To prove this, she continued to trail her hands down his body. As she left his butterfly, her hands lifted off his skin until it was just her fingertips pressed against him. They moved further down until they reached the ferns. But just as she was about to move even further down to the button of his pants, her mind lost itself when he pulled away from their kiss to focus on her neck. Her fingers lost contact with the button of his pants, but she could care less so long as he kept doing that.

The only thing Lizzie could wrap her mind around was the way their bodies grinded against each other. She couldn’t hear the moans she breathed into his ear or feel the burning skin on Eric’s back under her touch. She knew she needed to focus on something if she was going to remember every second of this, so she focused on the weight of his body on hers. It was literally weighing her down from having some outer body experience.

Slowly, very slowly, Lizzie tried to expand her reality past the way his body grinded against hers. She wanted to remember more. So she focused on the next best sensation, her hearing. She desperately reached for the first sound of his voice and found it as it was mid-moan in tune with hers. That was what she clung to so she wouldn’t lose herself again while Eric focused on her neck.

At first the only thing she could really pick up on were his moans. Which was fine because they were like music to her ears. It proved to her that he was enjoying this as much as she was. But then she noticed that he was doing more than moaning with her. It sounded like he was actually saying something as well. Even though his lips on her neck were so distracting, she channeled as much of her attention on listening to what he was saying. After all, he could be telling her something important and she didn’t want to have to tell him she didn’t hear it in the heat of their passion.

First it sounded like whispered nothings into her ear, as if he was just saying whatever just so she could hear his voice. But then, just as she closed her eyes to succumb to his pleasure, a couple words caught her attention. It was then that she was able to zero in on what exactly Eric was saying. She opened her eyes and found that she suddenly couldn’t move under him. Her body couldn’t even twitch from the weight of him. It felt paralyzing being unable to move just her hand while he continued to speak into her ear things that just didn’t sound like him. The more she listened to the words he said, the more she felt like she wasn’t with him anymore.

Lizzie tried to take a deep breath, but as she did so she became hyper aware of how she couldn’t even let her chest rise and fall without some effort. Her deep breath caught in her throat and she started to panic. She felt trapped, unable to move and only allowed to listen to these words that were words her Eric would never say. Especially not to her.

She had to do something. She had to get out of this.

“Babe…” she breathed out, finally finding her voice. But Eric must not have heard her because he continued as if she hadn’t said anything. She let out a small gasp and tried again. “Eric. Eric, wait.” She was growing desperate to escape from this. “Eric, please. Stop.” And just like that, it stopped.

Lizzie breathed heavily against Eric. In an effort to calm down, she stared up at the ceiling until the panic from earlier faded. His weight lifted off her and she waited an extra second before finding the courage to move. Then she finally slipped out from under him to sit up. It was then that she looked at him, and what she saw both scared her and broke her heart. Eric wasn’t looking at her, but his expression read that he just realized what happened and was now horrified because of it. “What is it? Did...Did I do something wrong?”

The temperature in the room suddenly dropped. Or, maybe it was always this cold, but the heat from their bodies covered it up. Whatever reason, Lizzie couldn’t ignore the cold any longer. She grabbed the comforter and pulled it up until it covered her arms and most of her chest.

His words echoed in her ears no matter how many times she shook her head or tried to push them out of her mind. Even though she knew they came from Eric, she couldn’t believe they actually were from him. The more she heard the words replay over and over in her mind, the more they came out in someone else’s voice. Her sweet, perfect, wonderful love could never be capable of saying such words to her. There was absolutely no way he could ever be into saying such things like that.

Unless...that is something he is actually into.

Try as she might, Lizzie can’t ignore what she knows about Eric’s past. She can wishfully believe all she wants that his previous experiences with other women were nothing more than just being intimate with them just to keep them company. But between their previous attempts at being intimate and what just happened now, Lizzie can’t deny any longer that maybe there is more to Eric’s history with sex than he’s telling her. What if what happened just now is normal to Eric and something that he is actually into? If so, should she just accept it so that she could be with him? Was she even willing to go out of her comfort zone to accept it?

Lizzie pulled the comforter closer to her, never once taking her eyes off Eric. “Is…” she started, but stopped when she realized she couldn’t put together the right words to say. After a deep breath, she tried again. “Is that what you like? Does that...turn you on?” ​

​