xoxo ◣ i should °TELL YOU ⋮⋮ feelsHASkilig && JINFINITE

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 091818-----------❖ LOCATION — lizzie's bedroom-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
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---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

“Oh…” Well, this was quite the awkward situation. Lizzie stared at the empty space where the Chinese takeout boxes used to be when she last saw them that morning. She felt slightly embarrassed, and also mildly conflicted. Eric said he preferred the leftovers. And yet, they were actually not even an option. Should she go back on her offer and just order the sandwiches? But, she didn’t even know what he liked from the cafe. Nor could she remember what he ordered the last time they had gone together. Should she wing it and order him something that she hoped he would like? Would it be rude to ask him now while he was in the shower?

Actually, wait, she did have one option that could work.

“Hello? Lizzie?” answered Olivia after two rings. In the background, there were a couple other voices tossing various pastel colors like they were in some kind of auction. A moment later, she overheard what sounded like a door closing and suddenly the extra voices were gone.

“Hey, did I call at a bad time?” Lizzie asked, sandwiching her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she closed the refrigerator. She really should have checked that the leftovers were still there before offering it to Eric.

There was a silent pause on the line. “Not really. I just finished an appointment so the team is brainstorming some. Are you at the flat now?”

Lizzie nodded, then realized Olivia wasn’t there with her. It was a bad habit of hers and she has often been called out on it when caught. “Yeah, I am,” she finally responded. She moved away from the refrigerator to lean against the kitchen island. “Actually, that’s why I called. Eric’s here and I was thinking of ordering sandwiches from the cafe for, like, a late lunch/early dinner type thing. He was still asleep when I got home, so I’m assuming he’s been sleeping since he got here and hasn’t eaten today?”

There was another silent pause, but Lizzie couldn’t figure out what her flatmate was doing on the other end of the line. “Does he know you’re ordering sandwiches?” Olivia asked suddenly. The tone was slightly off compared to her previous statement and it made Lizzie feel a bit uncomfortable. It was as if she was being interrogated or something.

“Not exactly. I asked if he wanted the leftovers Angel brought back or to order sandwiches. He said he wanted the leftovers.” She went on to explain the current situation; that Eric was taking a shower right now and she could not ask him for his order.

Eventually, Lizzie had Olivia convinced. As she scribbled Eric’s order onto a piece of scratch paper left on the kitchen counter, she wondered why it seemed like such a journey to get anything out of Olivia when it came to Eric. When it involves the other flatmates, Olivia was quick to offer the information and often with a touch of humor to it. However, if she asked her anything about Eric’s life or interests or just about anything about him while she wasn’t in the room, there was a bit of a tug from her. It was strange. The next thought she had after this realization was how she was not going to be telling this to Jade...not yet at least. Her best friend was already against Eric as it is. She didn’t need to add any more fuel to that flame.

After she ended her call with Olivia, Lizzie pushed aside the strange feeling she had for her flatmate and opened up the Deliveroo app she had recently downloaded to quickly place their order. She didn’t know how much time she had left until Eric was finished with his shower and wanted to make sure the food would at least be halfway ready by the time he came back. In the meantime, while she waited for the status of her order to update, she left her phone on the dining table then went to her bedroom to change. She might as well change out of her work clothes too since Eric was doing it.

Now dressed in a pair of running shorts and her oversized UCLA hoodie, she returned to the common room while tugging her long hair back into its usual ponytail. She took a quick glance at her phone to check the status of her order. Oh, looks like it’s been prepared already and now it’s just a matter of waiting for someone to pick it up and deliver. The cafe must not be too busy right now.

Once again, she left her phone on the dining table to make her way back toward the double doors. She peeked her head into the hallway and looked over at the closed bathroom door. After a few seconds, she came to the conclusion that Eric wasn’t done with his shower yet. Not that she quite blamed him. After an overnight shift at the hotel plus sleeping for much of the day, she wouldn’t mind a long shower either.

Their food arrived some ten minutes later. It was the benefit of living within walking distance from the cafe, but being terribly lazy. Actually, that was the same conversation she and the delivery man had as he handed over the sandwiches and she gave him a rather generous tip. After all, he really traveled a couple minutes just to deliver sandwiches. It was the least she could do. It was also apparently very American of her to tip this well. This whole “tipping not required” thing was definitely something she needed to start getting used to...for now.

By the time Eric returned to the common room, Lizzie had taken their sandwiches out of the to-go bag and placed them in front of the same seats they had occupied the other night when Ricki’s dad dropped by for dinner. Lizzie watched as Eric joined her at the dining table then registered that, no, they were not having the leftovers like he had decided on before his shower. She giggled then explained the situation and asked if this was okay. The fact that his face lit up at the sight of the sandwiches told her enough, but it didn’t hurt to get some kind of verbal response just to be sure.

As she watched Eric eat his sandwich, Lizzie couldn’t help wondering if he had simply been polite earlier when he decided on the leftovers. It wasn’t like this was the first time she had bought him food. Plus, they were friends now. Buying friends food was no big deal. After all, Olivia did it for Eric all the time. If her flatmate could do it, surely she could as well. In fact, it could be argued that they were probably a little more than just friends; although the actual label of what they are is currently unknown.

She still had about a third of her own sandwich left when she looked up and noticed that he had finished his. It made sense. If he was sleeping since he arrived at the flat, this must have been his first meal of the day. Lizzie didn’t say anything out loud, of course. Instead, she continued eating and waited for them to continue catching up with each other.

However, Eric shifted the conversation to a rather important topic: Harry Potter. Lizzie’s interest peaked at the mention of the second movie. She looked up just as he was sipping his water, registering the suggestive look he was giving her. Before he could verbally ask if they had the time to continue their gradual movie marathon, she felt the edges of her lips curl upward into an eager smile. Honestly, even if she had a ton of work to do, she would drop everything to watch Harry Potter...with him. Or any movie really. Just about any excuse to spend time with him would make Lizzie free her schedule to do it. Manuscripts and reading assignments could wait. There was only so much time she had with Eric in a week and she wanted to always take advantage of it. It was for this reason that Tuesdays were now her favorite day of the week.

After she finished the last of her sandwich, she took the trash she and Eric collected off the dining table to toss it in the kitchen. Behind her, she heard him shuffling about, probably to clean up whatever little workstation he had set up that morning before falling asleep. Briefly, she recalled seeing his notebook open to a page with some of his handwriting scribbled on it. But she had been too busy being mesmerized by how peaceful he looked while sleeping to really read what had been on said page. Then again, she probably wouldn’t have without asking permission. She had already snooped through one of his works in progress. There was a point when she could fight back her curious nature, especially when it came to the guy she liked.

Lizzie joined Eric in the living room just as he popped in the disc for Chamber of Secrets, two new bottles of water in her hands. She placed both of them on the coffee table then took the spot to the right of Eric on the smaller couch. Unlike before, it didn’t feel too awkward sitting so close to him. Whether he felt the same or not, this was good. This had to be good. This meant that they their relationship (or friendship really) was evolving. This theory was only confirmed as she nestled into a comfortable position against him with her left shoulder gently rubbing against his arm. The only thing that could have made her nervous about this was when he moved his arm right after. But the moment after, he placed said arm behind her across the back of the couch. Not around her. Baby steps.

Once the movie started, Lizzie forced herself to focus on the television. She wanted to watch the movie after all. But it wasn’t until the Weasley brothers flew up to Harry’s barred bedroom window in the flying Ford Anglia did her attention completely abandon the screen. Instead, she focused on the sudden gentle tug of the fingers on her left hand. Upon looking down, she saw that Eric’s long fingers loosely clung to hers. She smiled and her heart raced with excitement. But she kept her cool as she used her free hand to tug her ponytail over one shoulder. With this move, she grasped Eric’s hand a bit more. At least so that they weren’t merely holding hands with just their fingers.

Honestly, the moment Eric instigated that physical contact - even if it was just a little - Lizzie could care less about the movie. After all, she had seen the Harry Potter films plenty of times, she could recite the first three films by heart even in her sleep. Eric was all new. Every experience with him was fresh and exciting and she felt at the edge of her seat even if she appeared perfectly relaxed. Every minute spent with him even if it’s just watching a movie or eating a sandwich together, brought her a sense of joy she hadn’t felt in so long.

It has been a while since she last had a legitimate crush. She forgot about all these sensations.

Around the end of the Diagon Alley scenes, Lizzie could sense that she was more comfortable on the couch with Eric. After a quick adjustment, she moved to rest her head against Eric’s shoulder. This was also when she noticed that he had been running a finger along the cloud tattoo on her middle finger.

Then, suddenly, Lizzie could feel Eric’s grip loosen. What she did next happened out of instinct. Or maybe it was because she just did not want a chance for their physical connection to break. But as she felt his grip loosen, she tightened her own around his fingers. She still hadn’t realized what she had done even after he spoke for the first time since they started the movie.

Has she visited King’s Cross Station since her first trip? Lizzie watched as the boys discussed their options now that the platform had been closed. She actually had to think about it for a moment. It had been awhile since that first trip, but considering how often she thought about it, it sometimes felt like it happened yesterday. “No, I haven’t,” she finally answered with a small pout. “I’ve either been hella busy since that first time, or I just never had the opportunity to be in that area. But now that you have me thinking about King’s Cross, I probably will sometime this week.” Lizzie returned her attention to the screen...but only for a moment.

Suddenly, Lizzie sat up straight on the couch then turned her body so that she was completely facing him. This, of course, fully broke their hand holding. But that was okay. They could continue their hand holding afterward. A smile was once again spreading across her face. “If you’re free this week, we should meet up and go together?” she quickly added. “Find some other place nearby that is not Nando’s to eat at after.”

If Eric had a problem with talking during a movie, he didn’t openly express it. His initial resulted in an opportunity for them to continue talking to each other. While the movie still played in the background - occasionally, they would pause their conversation to watch an interesting scene - Lizzie’s attention mostly stayed on whatever Eric was telling her. The potential plan to meet for a King’s Cross visit part two opened up the conversation to discuss weekly schedules. Now that Lizzie’s schedule was finalized between work and school, she could confidently tell him when she started and ended her days. She was thrilled to hear that they ended around the same time if they didn’t count his rehearsals. So they definitely had plenty of opportunities to meet up in the city before returning to the flat.

It should also be noted that, after Eric’s King’s Cross question, Lizzie had not returned to her previous position on the couch. Instead of the gentle hand holding from before, Lizzie had completely taken Eric’s left hand in her own while grabbing the right arm that had been on the back of the couch to wrap around her shoulders. In addition to that, she also laced the fingers on her right hand through his to ensure that his arm remained around her throughout the rest of the movie.

Never once did she think her actions were odd or that she was overstepping her boundaries. She had seen what they had done during Ricki’s birthday. She remembered dinner at the flat with Ricki’s dad the other night. This was innocent, but still enjoyable. And it felt so right.

By the time Harry had reached the Chamber of Secrets, Lizzie’s had switched positions twice beside Eric. Right now, she was cuddled up against him with one leg draped around both of his, her right arm around his waist and her head snuggled against his chest. She did, however, make sure to keep with the hand holding they had started since they began the movie. Only this time, it was her left hand laced around his right hand, which was still wrapped around her. Conversation died down a bit once things started picking up in the film. They still talked occasionally, but it wasn’t the main attention grabber like before.

“What do you think about the whole Lockhart drama?” she asked, watching as Ron clubbed Lockhart with a rock. “Like, there is no way Dumbledore missed that he was a fake all along. I know it’s supposed to be some kind of minor plot twist, but...it’s just...Dumbledore is not that dumb, right? Like, could he really have been fooled for that long?” She lifted her head up ever so slightly to adjust her position on his chest, tucking her chin to her chest a bit so that she could better see the screen.

It was sometime between Lizzie’s Lockhart question and Harry’s battle with the basilisk when the faintest sound of a door closing traveled down the hall to the common room. Lizzie lifted her head up, avoiding hitting Eric with the top of her head as she did so. She waited to see if there would be any follow-up sounds or to conclude that maybe she had imagined hearing things. Turns out it was the former of the two options because seconds later, she could hear two voices getting closer. Another few seconds later, Angel and Malcolm appeared at the double doors. Behind them was a familiar face, but Lizzie couldn’t quite figure out how she recognized him.

“Oh! You two are here!” Angel blurted out, a wide grin forming on his face. She watched as he looked from the two of them to the television screen. “Wait, didn’t you watch this one already?”

“No wonder Lizzie wasn’t saying anything in the group chat earlier. She doesn’t even have her phone anywhere near her. Her hands are too busy holding Eric,” Malcolm teased along, utilizing a sing song tone at the end. Lizzie felt her cheeks flush. But at the mention of the group chat, she reluctantly pulled away from Eric to grab her phone. It had been silent and face down on the coffee table since the movie started. Waiting for her was a short conversation between her other flatmates about how Angel and Malcolm were bringing Tom over to watch something. Oh, right. Tom the “free Uber driver” from Ricki’s birthday celebration.

“Um, the movie's almost done,” she told them. Of course they knew the movie's almost done. “Then the TV is all yours.”

Once the guys left the double doors to hang out in their room, Lizzie glanced over at the movie before turning to look at Eric. “Well, there goes the option to start the next movie,” she joked with a small smile. “But it looks like you’re also getting kicked out of your workstation.” She looked toward the double doors in the direction of the boys’ bedroom as a thought ran through her head.

“If you want,” she started slowly while turning her head back to look at Eric. “You can stay in my room until they’re done with the TV. Or until you have to leave? Ricki doesn’t get off work until eleven, so she probably won’t be home until after midnight. Just in case you wanted to do some work in your notebook for a bit.” She didn’t explain how she had seen the open notebook earlier figuring he would guess that much.

The movie finished soon after she had voiced her suggestion. While Eric took the disc out of the player and grabbed his things, Lizzie walked over to the boys’ bedroom to let them know that they could take over the living room. Angel, Malcolm and Tom were slowly leaving the room by the time Lizzie led Eric out of the common room to her own bedroom.

There was a split moment as Eric came in that Lizzie wondered if she should keep the door open or not. It wasn’t like they were going to do anything really. But she figured if Eric actually did want to get some things done for...whatever it was that he was working on, she guessed that cutting out as much noise as possible would help. Angel was known to be quite loud when it came to watching television. With that in mind, she slowly, but with a little reluctance, closed the door to her bedroom shut.

“The bed or the desk, you can take whichever. I’ll just work on getting through this manuscript in the other,” Lizzie said to Eric now.​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 091918-----------❖ LOCATION — on campus-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
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---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

So talking during the movie was apparently okay as Eric found himself discussing their schedules for the rest of the week. He was honestly a little surprised how excited she was at the thought of visiting the station again. Maybe since he’d seen it his whole life it lost its marvel? But it was cute how into it she was and who was he to turn her down? So after a little back and forth planning they came to an agreement to return to King’s Cross together on Thursday. Why Thursday? Well Friday was Friday. Eric had pointed out it might be busy with people traveling for the weekend or dinner plans or just general Friday night rush. He knew London’s busy areas and did not particularly want to be in that part of the city on a Friday evening. But also what if the flat decided to go out and invited Lizzie? Or her school friends asked her out? Eric didn’t mention those last two points, but they contributed to his argument. And then you might be wondering why they weren’t going tomorrow? Well Eric couldn’t bring himself to commit to that. It was too sudden and it seemed Lizzie had caught his hesitation when she had asked about tomorrow, ”Or maybe Thursday?”
”Thursday might be better.”

And so Thursday it was, and Eric was already getting nervous over it. Excited nervous. Happy nervous. Looking forward to it nervous. But also nervous nervous. Lizzie made him nervous and the way she manipulated his limbs to hold her wasn’t helping at all. Hold on though, don’t get the wrong idea. He wasn’t uncomfortable being this close to her or having this much contact. No he loved it. But being so so close like this, and sober he really could not focus on anything other than her skin on his. Her steady breathes. The way he could feel her words when she spoke. He prayed to anyone above who might be listening that she couldn’t hear his own racing heartbeat.

Throughout the movie, Eric found it increasingly harder to pay attention and continued to catch himself watching Lizzie instead of the screen in front of them. Any time she moved he caught himself holding his breath yet stayed relaxed enough to allow her to adjust him and went along with whatever position she chose to sit in. Eric himself didn’t move much but at some point his socked feet ended up on the edge of the coffee table because he was simply too tall to not stretch out when the space permitted it. He loved holding her hand, and the feeling of her weight pressed comfortably against him. Was this what those expensive weighted blankets were like? It was like all his troubles were gone so long as she was beside him. The outside world didn’t exist here in their little bubble where it was just the two of them and Harry Potter.

Some time later Lizzie’s head turned to look towards the open common room doors which of course drew Eric’s Lizzie-driven-ADD focus to follow. He hadn’t heard anything—oh wait there it was. He could distinctly make out Angel’s voice among a couple others and Eric felt the briefest wave of panic wash over him. Why? What was there to be scared of? Being seen alone with Lizzie? This wasn’t new to anyone other than himself. Lizzie was clearly perfectly comfortable—confident even as she knew exactly what she wanted. The others had seen them all over each other....literally. And Olivia made it very clear long ago that she was aware they had…something between them. It was only Eric that wasn’t used to all this one on one attention or affection, almost to the point of feeling like it wasn’t right. As if he didn’t deserve it, which was where his sudden fear of being found out stemmed from. But Lizzie hadn’t moved away from him in the slightest; that was reassuring and helped ground him back to earth as the three boys all appeared in the doorway. The look on Angel’s face made him uneasy but it was Malcolm’s teasing that had him quickly look back towards the tv as Lizzie released him. Did he have to point it out like that? It was this sort of attention that he had been on edge about when he first heard them come home. He certainly wasn’t embarrassed to be seen with her, no not at all. But the fact that they felt it was something to poke fun at...it just didn’t sit well with him. Eric was a pretty private person in general but somehow being with Lizzie had become everyone’s business. He tuned them out till they left, his fingers fiddling uncomfortably until he was able to recognize that Lizzie was speaking to him and only him and he was able to take a calming breath as he looked over at her. His hands longed to reach back over for her but the moment was lost, or at least Eric didn’t know how to get it back. Was this the end of their night then?

”But it looks like you’re also getting kicked out of your workstation.” She had called it a workstation, rather than couch or his bed. A reminder that he didn’t live here. But that wasn’t exactly what hit him the most. More specifically it was the fact he basically had to leave now. Honestly he might as well go back to his car. He needed clothes, and the car was closer to the hotel so it would save himself half the journey in the morning. But in this moment his heart and mind weren’t aligned. Logically Eric knew he shouldn’t overstay his visit. He didn’t live here and so he shouldn’t act like he did. He needed to start taking care of himself before Olivia threw him out the window. But arguably, staying in the flat was taking care of himself because he knew how much she hated when he slept in his car. But Eric honestly never felt it was fair to the other tenants for him to always be here freeloading so he had always tried to avoid it and only crash after overnights—that was before Lizzie ruined his routine. He didn’t want to leave. His heart didn’t want to leave. So when Lizzie went on to offer up her room his attention peaked and his heart race skyrocketed. She didn’t want him to leave either! No shit Eric, you guys are supposed to be exploring feelings—dating trial run—of course she doesn’t want you to leave. Eric agreed without much thought and not long after he was following Lizzie to her room with his bag held in both arms in front of him like a child. It was now facing her closed door that the nerves and hesitation grabbed at him. He had never been in this room before—scratch that—he had never been allowed in this room before, so he really didn’t know what to expect when she let him in.

Eric glanced around a good bit, taking it all in as quickly as possible and accessing his surroundings like when you’re in a movie theatre and told to locate the nearest exit in case of emergency. Eric always had a way out—or not—Lizzie had just shut the door behind them. You wouldn’t be able to tell just by looking at him, but Eric was internally panicking. Not that he didn’t want to be in this situation—and not even thinking like that, it was much more innocent and more like he was simply overthinking everything and so found it hard to concentrate: an ongoing theme it seemed when it came to Lizzie.

He didn’t say anything at first as he walked over to the desk and set his bag down on the surface. There was no way he could bring himself to go sit on her bed. That was hers. Like her personal bed. Invasion of privacy. No no, most definitely could not sit there. The desk would be just fine, ”Manuscript?”

In the end Eric got next to nothing done. He couldn’t really work on his current untitled song without his guitar, it had reached a point where tossing lyrics around wasn’t enough, he needed to hear it. So Eric pulled out his script instead. No not the one Lizzie had helped write. This was the script his song was to go along with; his musical. It could hardly be called a script though. It was more a collection of blurbed ideas, and dialogues, visions and notes. His musical was very much so a work in progress. It was just barely an idea. But he had a few songs in mind, some of which he already had written casually and was going to edit to better fit his story. But this was all a lot of work and as mentioned, Eric did not accomplish much during his time in Lizzie’s room. For the first 35 or so minutes he was fighting himself the entire time, constantly wanting to turn around in his seat to look at her, to talk to her. But he also didn’t want to be a nuisance and bother her while she was trying to work...well it worked for a little over half an hour but then Eric lost the battle, ”Uhm…” Once she looked up at him he continued on, ”Could you read this bit for me? Tell me what you think?” They had worked so well together last time, why not ask her to help again? He passed over his leather bound journal opened to one of his older songs a couple verses scribbled out and edited. But not even that could keep him on track. It wasn’t long before the two were chatting away completely off task, though Eric still couldn’t bring himself to leave the desk to go sit with her on the bed. Time flew by until it was just past 11:30, hadn’t Lizzie mentioned that Ricki got off work at 11? He had already experienced the boys finding them in the living room, that was enough for one day, he really did not want to be in Ricki’s room when she came home.

”Sorry, I lost track of time...I should probably head out.” It was late. He had stayed way longer than he had intended, and didn’t Lizzie have school in the morning? Here he was keeping her up late. Had she just been being polite this whole time and was too nice to kick him out when it got late? ”Sorry, you’re probably tired.” He had slept most of the day away but hadn’t she had a full day of work? And then the movie and then whatever this was they’d been up to the past couple hours—she must be exhausted but all he had to offer were apologies..

Eric stopped by the bathroom to slip back into his pants to walk in before they said their goodbyes and see you laters at the door. Hugs were exchanged, it was a nice hug, and then Eric was off towards his car. Only he didn’t get far, like he barely had left the property after Lizzie shut the door when Olivia approached from across the street where her Uber driver had dropped her off.
”Uh, hello?” It was pretty clear she hadn’t been expecting to see him here this late, and especially leaving at this hour, ”You’re back rather late, busy day?”
”I had a work meeting—dinner—thing—never mind that, why are you here?”
…crickets.
”Sorry I didn’t mean—“
”I know.”
”Walk with me? I wanted to run to the shop before they close.”
Just for reference, Olivia had a weakness for late night snacks and was a regular at the local corner store.
The two best friends walked arm in arm down to the shop, Eric recounting his afternoon with Lizzie for Olivia with her interrupting every now and then to ask questions for a better understanding. These weren’t “tell me every detail” questions, but rather “how and why” questions as though she were inquiring about his opinion or thought process of things rather than what actually happened.

She didn’t seem mad and even voiced her approval that they were planning to meet up later in the week after work/school...but not without the mama bear coming out, ”While I’m glad you two have worked things out, just make sure you’re not going overboard.” A confused glance form Eric prompted her to continue on, they had left the shop by now and were almost back at the flat, ”You have all this free time without rehearsals now, I just don’t want you to fill the holes in your schedule and burn out. You should take it easy. Use this time to relax and not be trekking across London three times a day.”
Now in front of the flat he stopped, ready to say his farewell and continue on his original journey back to the car but Olivia had taken his hand with her free one not holding her bag of snacks, ”Eric it’s late, just stay here. Please?” He had his counter argument ready that he was used to walking in the middle of the night and such, but Olivia just had this worried tone to her voice that he couldn’t bring himself to protest this time around. So back inside he went knowing fully well that he would have to wake up in about 6 hours to stop by his car and then make it to work on time in the morning. Eric didn’t bother changing back into his shorts, he just slipped the pants off and curled up on the longer sofa under his blanket with his hoodie on as an extra layer of warmth. Ever since September hit the weather had been steadily dropping and Eric was already dreading once winter set in.

A combination of going to bed close to 1am and the cold were to blame for why Eric struggled to wake at 5:30am when he normally was getting up when he stayed at the flat. It was some time past 6 when the lights in the room turned on and the smell of coffee reached his senses. Next thing he knew Olivia was setting a mug down on the table in front of him along with a couple of slices of toast, ”Coffee, food, shower, then we go.”
We?
Eric didn’t question her out loud though, he was too busy trying to keep his eyes open. He was so tired they honestly hurt. This was what, the second or third time Olivia had helped him wake up in the past few weeks? Normally he was up and gone before her. What had happened to him? It was like his internal clock was on holiday or something and all he wanted was to sleep uninterrupted for hours. The sound of a camera shutter had him turning to face Olivia who offered a half apology and an explanation she was doing this 30 day challenge on Instagram. Apparently he was now a part of it with his messy bed head hair and blanket. She assured him that his face wasn’t visible, not that he particularly cared...besides anyone who knew him would recognize him right away anyways.
Now that he was sitting up and she could see him properly— ”Actually you should probably shave first, then we can go.”
”Go where?” Yup, there it was, his morning voice all croaky and tired. Olivia was already walking back to the kitchen, clearly far more awake than he was despite both going to bed at the time time, ”I have a meeting on location today, I was going to drive so I’ll drop you off.” There was a pause and when Eric didn’t say anything in response she looked back to see his head back on the pillow, ”Eric!”
”I’m up, I’m up!”

The day progressed rather slowly and everything seemed to take extra long. For instance his shift was over at 4pm but that came and went, and it wasn’t until 4:12pm when Eric actually entered the staff room to change and get his belongings. This time however Eric broke routine and instead he sat down to fish his iPod out of his bag. Normally he would be heading to rehearsal but with the show entering the second weekend of shows there was nothing for him to do during the week. He didn’t exactly want to just go sit in his car for hours and hours but he had no errands and no reason to go to the flat. Not to mention he was tired, he didn’t really feel up to walking all the way out there simply to kill time. Eric’s fingers moved to open Instagram and clicked the upper right corner for the folded paper plane signifying his inbox. He wasn’t particularly tech savvy, but he knew how to send direct messages.

can i see you​

No greeting, no context, not even question mark-- that required opening the punctuation pages and Eric just didn’t have the proper flow when texting to open it seamlessly. More often than not he missed the button or clicked too many times. It was just a headache to deal with, so unless necessary or important, he usually would opt to forego punctuation; a habit that drove Olivia crazy when she couldn’t tell if he was asking or telling her something.

He watched as the ‘Seen’ stamp popped up and then sat anxiously awaiting her reply until all of a sudden and several moments too late he realized how...vague and stressful his message must sound. Like when someone texts asking you to call them. You have no idea what you're walking into or what the subject will be about. It could be something super serious, it might just be that they have a funny story they want to share when you have time to chat. Eric quickly began second hand stressing out on Lizzie’s behalf knowing how much he would hate to be on the receiving end of that question. Can I see you? It gave off so much potential ‘something awful has happened and we need to talk’ vibes. On the other hand it was actually sort of cute and romantic to ask to see your girlfri—significant other—crush—Lizzie. To ask your Lizzie out on a whim because you miss her and want to see her alone because you don’t want to have to share her with the others back at the flat and cant seem to wait one extra day for your already scheduled date—but not a date. Oh wow calm down Eric.

if youre not busy i just wanted to see —​

Oh she had replied. And she had said yes! So Eric deleted his own words and started over:

cool​

uhm (the uhm was silent)

where are you ​

Followed by:

i can meet you at campus​

Once he’d obtained Lizzie’s location there was just one more message to send:

im on my way xx​

And then he set out in the direction of the university, he would lose the hotel’s wifi soon and be completely cut off from her. But that didn’t worry Eric as he knew his way around, it was more so a matter of did Lizzie know her surroundings yet? Well it didn’t seem he had to worry about that as he found her exactly where she said she would be, “Hey love.”​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 091918-----------❖ LOCATION — gardens outside campus-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

Eric’s name woke Lizzie up early the next morning. It was jarring, really, how alert she suddenly became the moment Eric was mentioned. Only, she couldn’t exactly understand how that made any sense. For one thing, the door to her bedroom was closed completely shut thus eliminating most of the outside noise on the other side. And then, of course, Eric wasn’t even at the flat. She should know, she said goodbye to him at the front door last night.

After Eric left last night, Lizzie completely abandoned any effort to make progress on her reading assignment. She was just too happy over the events of that night to spoil it with what turned out to be a bad piece of work. And with Ricki scheduled to come home any moment after she said goodbye to Eric, she didn’t bother calling JKL to update them on her not-date-date-night-in...thing. They can learn about it later after she got home from school tomorrow. Oh yeah, that was another reason she abandoned any efforts to be productive for the rest of the night. It was already after eleven by the time Eric decided to be the rational one for both of them. School was that morning and she needed to leave early to catch the train and make it to her 9AM class on time.

Lizzie groaned softly as she slowly and blindly reached for her phone. It was currently a quarter to six. Who in the world was up so early and calling out Eric’s name? And Eric wasn’t even here.

She had a brief moment of clarity when she realized that maybe she had dreamt someone calling out his name. And that was enough for Lizzie to abandon stressing over such details as she tossed her phone on top of her blankets to go back to sleep. She still had a couple more hours to sleep in before her phone’s alarm would rudely try to get her up. Hopefully she can return to her dream of cuddles and hand holding. It was a nice dream.

“Huh, that’s odd. Olivia’s car isn’t here,” Ricki commented when Lizzie caught up with her after locking the front door. She followed her roommate’s gaze. And true to her word, there was an empty spot right in front of the flat where Olivia’s car was usually parked. Guess she needed it for work or something?

Despite the fact that it was just the first week of the new term, classes officially began for Lizzie that Wednesday. There were still other students that were trying to get added to her classes, but nonetheless, lectures began until the end of class time. Today was definitely not like last Monday when they got to leave classes early after introductions.

By the time she entered the classroom for her last class of the day, Lizzie was ready to go home. Her hand cramped from all the notes she had taken in her previous class; mentally kicking herself for not thinking ahead by packing her laptop in her backpack. She learned her lesson this time around.

“This is insane…” Anna whined under her breath after class had been dismissed. “He really expects us to read all those chapters by next Monday?”

“Tell me about it,” she chimed in after she closed her backpack. “If this reading assignment isn’t time consuming enough, I still have to get through my work for my internship.”

Both Andrew and Eddie were waiting outside when Lizzie and Anna stepped out of their classroom. Anna briefly paused their conversation to greet her beau. Eddie used that time to greet Lizzie with a one armed hug. This was the first time they had seen each other since their shared lecture class that morning.

Eventually, Anna returned her attention back to Lizzie. She was ready to discuss a solution to their situation. With the boys following behind them, Anna had her phone out ready to schedule some kind of study session sometime this weekend.

It was while they were walking down the stairs to leave campus that Lizzie felt her phone go off in her back pocket. All it took was a quick glance at the notification on her lockscreen to completely wash away all the stress she felt just a moment ago. In exchange, she quickly tapped on the Instagram notification then unlocked her phone and waited for the direct message screen to pop up. Her heart was all aflutter that Eric hit her up. Suddenly, all she could think about was last night and how much she actually missed him right now.

“You heading home now?” Eddie asked when they arrived at the entrance hall. They all moved to the side at Anna’s request so that they would not get in the way of foot traffic.

“Uh, no, not yet,” she answered simply as she stuffed her phone back into her back pocket. She overheard Anna and Andrew discussing nearby places to eat and figured she should probably clarify, just in case. “I’m going to meet up with a...friend...in like fifteen minutes?”

There was a bit of disappointment in Eddie’s voice when he acknowledged that he understood her explanation. Just then, Anna asked if they were all up for eating an early dinner. Lizzie once again explained to the other two that she had made plans already, although choosing to not mention that these plans were made just now. Anna seemed to understand though. So after saying their goodbyes, Lizzie watched as her friends exited the building.

Lizzie contemplated what she was going to do for the next fifteen or so minutes. Eric had said it would take him a little more than twenty minutes to get here. While she didn’t mind waiting for that entire time, she felt that she should do something a little more productive. Maybe she could get a snack while she waits? Actually, she could go for a muffin right about now. Anna’s talk of food a moment ago had her realize that she was kind of hungry, but not the full meal type hungry.

The cafe down the street from campus was, naturally, packed with students that just got out of class like herself. It was practically filled to capacity by the time Lizzie stepped in line. By the time she finally got her muffin (she opted out of coffee for now; there were just so many customers that ordered coffee), it was past the time Eric had specified they meet and she feared he would leave if he didn’t find her. He didn’t even send her other updates via DM since he told her he was on his way. It didn’t help her either that there were still so many people out on the sidewalk. She feared that finding him was going to be an issue.

That fear, however, disappeared the moment he found her. Just the sound of his greeting immediately brought a smile onto her face. She was beaming by the time he was close enough for her to instigate a hug.

“Hey! So, I know you mentioned you don’t go to school anymore, but do you keep your school ID with you?” she asked after their greetings. She recalled their conversation last night when he told her that he wasn’t a student anymore unlike she originally thought. The topic came up when she asked how he could juggle all those hours he worked plus be part of a theatre troupe AND go to school. But she also knew that there were some people that still held onto their school IDs even after finishing school. She watched as Eric shot her a look before slowly responding that he wasn’t sure. He then added that, if anything, it might be at the bottom of his bag.

Lizzie nodded to this. “There was this flyer at school for this exhibit that opened last week. It’s at this, like, cartoon museum right across the street from Ricki’s campus. Do you wanna check it out with me? I think if you show your school ID they give you a student discount,” she explained. Regardless of whether he had his ID or not, Eric seemed all for this idea. This heightened Lizzie’s excitement; they now had something to do together. AKA she now has an excuse to stay with him longer.

“Here, want some?” she offered, extending the pastry bag with her muffin to him. They now left the steps to her school to walk down the street to the museum. Foot traffic had thinned out some so keeping pace with Eric without the fear of getting separated was not an issue for Lizzie. Although, admittedly, a part of her wondered if it would be okay to just take his hand to further decrease the likelihood of losing track of him. It wasn’t like he was holding anything.

Then again, how would she eat the muffin? Maybe he could feed her?

Lizzie shook her head when Eric turned his head to look forward. She didn’t mean to drift ever so slightly into her Eric-centric fantasies.

They ended up sharing the muffin the entire journey. Honestly, it was mostly Lizzie’s doing. She was constantly offering it to Eric even if he declined a couple times. By the time they reached the entrance to the museum, the pastry bag had long ago been thrown in a nearby trash bin.

Lizzie noticed that there weren’t that many people inside when they entered. It was most likely because it was scheduled to close in an hour and a half. That was fine. The museum was not a massive building. They didn’t need that much time to look at everything.

“Ready?” she asked after they paid the admission fee. As she stuffed her ticket and receipt into her pocket, she used her free hand to take Eric’s hand. She then gently led the way deeper into the museum. Upon entering the area where the new exhibit was housed, she laced her fingers through his then pulled him closer until his arm was pressed against hers.

It didn’t take very long for Lizzie to start documenting her time with Eric on her social media. Granted, JKL got most of it via their private group on Snapchat. But she still left plenty of aesthetically pleasing or silly posts on her Insta-story for the rest of the world that cared about her life. More silly than aesthetically pleasing, really. They were in a cartoon museum after all. She would just have to read all the comments JKL were leaving her later when she was back at the flat.

Of course, she didn’t keep her phone out the entire time they were at the museum. At one point, while Eric was consumed with reading a specific comic strip, she kind of just...stared at him. It was all she could really do while she stood hand in hand next to him. Sure, she could have let go of his hand and moved on to the next displays. But why would she when watching Eric take in art was a better option? She watched as his eyes moved across the pages, reading every word and looking at the illustrations. And how the smile on his perfect lips grew more and more as he kept reading, eventually revealing the dimple that she wished she saw often.

As she wrapped her arms around his, hands still holding each other, she silently thanked Eric for wanting to see her today. She realized then and there that waiting until Thursday to see him would have been torture for her. Even if they were doing something as silly as looking at comic strips at a cartoon museum, this was exactly what she needed; to be with him.

When they finished looking at all the displays, Lizzie reluctantly pulled Eric’s arm off her shoulders so they could walk down the steps. Naturally, she still held his hand thus continuing the constant need to keep physical contact. “So, question, it’s okay to create those kind of caricatures of the Queen, right? Like it’s not considered treason or anything?” she asked in a low voice as they left the museum. “I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with drawing her head, like, five times bigger than her body, but like...it’s cool, right?”

As they moved to the side and out of the way of foot traffic, Lizzie pulled out her phone to check the time. It was already six and the sun was still bright out as if it was only three. “You sure you don’t need to run off to some surprise rehearsal or something?” she asked him. She was aware that his troupe didn’t have rehearsals now that they were going into the second weekend of their show, but it didn’t hurt to ask. She didn’t want him to be late. But alas, he reassured her that he didn’t have rehearsals.

Now, that left her with the temptation to keep him at her side longer...but not exactly having a clue what they could do next.

That is until she felt her phone vibrate in her hand. She glanced down and saw Ricki’s name below the preview of a text message. She unlocked her phone and read the message quickly.

“I think Ricki saw that we were at the museum just now; she’s asking if we’re still across the street,” she explained as she looked up from the phone to make eye contact with Eric. There was a momentary pause as Lizzie, once again enchanted by his bright blue eyes, needed a moment to collect her thoughts. When she did, she looked away from Eric to stare at the building across the street. Something in the back of her mind half expected to see her roommate standing there looking over at them. She wasn’t, of course.

Lizzie hesitated before she finally pulled her hand from Eric’s to type a response back to Ricki. Either she was out of class or bored in it, but Ricki was quick to respond back. “You don’t have any other plans tonight after this?” she asked Eric now. When he responded that he didn’t, she glanced back down at her phone one more time before continuing with, “Ricki’s asking if I wanted to wait for her so we can go back to the flat together. Her class ends around seven. Do you want to wait with me?”

She was relieved when he agreed. “Great! Um, maybe we can chill at the garden near my campus. At least we can sit there without fear of someone stepping on our toes,” she said with a laugh as she typed up the text to Ricki letting her know where she would wait for her. Once that text was sent, she once more took Eric’s hand and walked back toward the direction of her school.

When they arrived at the garden near her school, Lizzie glanced around the area quickly for any empty benches they could occupy. Unfortunately, all the ones she could see were occupied by others. There was a surprising number of people out right now that were not students. “I guess we should just find a spot of grass to sit on while we wait?” she suggested. She went for an empty strip of grass between what looked like a study group and a guy taking a nap under his sunglasses. She placed her backpack on one side while watching Eric occupy the other. The moment he was situated, however, she and her backpack scooted closer to him.

“Hey, so, I hope this isn’t too much to ask?” she started. When she saw that Eric’s attention was on her, she continued. “Would you be down to come back to the flat tonight? You could even spend the night if it gets too late and you’re not up for traveling home? I think I can assume that everyone will be cool with it.” Lizzie bit her lip gently, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder. She actually did this to bite back the next words she wanted to say to him. If she hadn’t caught herself, she would have added that she wanted him to come back to the flat so they could spend more time together. Maybe not like they had in her bedroom, but at least she could be with him longer. Was she being too selfish? Probably, but she really couldn’t help it.

She held her breath as she waited for his response. This was the first time she asked him to stay over. Usually, it was Olivia making the suggestion. She made it seem so effortless asking him. Why did she feel like her stomach was about to turn over if she took a breath while waiting?

In the end, her discomfort paid off; he agreed.

They went back to discussing the displays at the museum and whatever side topic that sprang from it. That took up about half the time they spent waiting for Ricki. When they found nothing else to talk about for the museum, Lizzie couldn’t help reverting back to a topic she now knew was a comfortable go-to; his theatre work. It was better than having him recall how exhausting work had been today, something they already discussed over their shared muffin.

In truth, Lizzie had been curious about the next script or concept he was working on last night in her room. She wasn’t able to see much of it...mostly because there really wasn’t much in the first place. What she saw last night were a couple lines and random ideas here and there. It was definitely different from the full drafted script she saw weeks ago. It was amazing how random, floating ideas could turn into a fully thought out script. She wondered how long it would take him to get this new idea off the ground. And also, if she would be able to help him like last time.

“Did you make any further progress from last night? Sorry that I wasn’t much help. Who knew that looking at a couple lines would randomly have me thinking about Disney movies.” Lizzie laughed lightly, once again flipping her ponytail off her shoulder.

“So, like,” she started slowly, taking a moment to form the right words in the right order. “How do you usually progress through a script? Like, how does it go from a cluster of ideas in a notebook to a full draft?” Currently sitting with her legs crossed, Lizzie was starting to feel the weight and strain on her upper back from slouching for so long. She uncrossed her legs, leaning slightly toward Eric. At one point, she accidentally shoved her shoulder against his while she moved to straighten her legs and stretch them out.

“Like, for example, the one you let me take a look at last night? How do you get all those ideas you scribbled down into a workable plot with a beginning and an end?” Admittedly, she may have made Eric an unofficial representative of her own curiosity about her internship. All these manuscripts she had to read throughout the year. They all started with an idea and through some method or other, it leads to hundreds of pages with a beginning, middle and end. Surely, Eric can relate in some way. ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 092118-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

When was the last time he had used his school ID? Did he even look like his photo anymore? Not that that was a determining factor in its validity, but he was certainly curious to see how much his hair had grown since he had taken his school photo. He rarely saw photos of himself anymore. His mother had photos of him as a child scattered around their flat, but after she passed all photographs were crammed into boxes in the back of his car and left to collect dust. Sure this was the age of social media, but Eric hadn’t taken a proper selfie in years. The only real digital evidence of his existence were Olivia and her sister’s Instagram posts that included him— and now Lizzie’s Platform 9 ¾ photo. At least since he had a full time job, hobby and part time flat that gave him access to mirrors and such. It wasn’t like he didn’t know what he looked like. That would be sort of mind blowing actually. Imagine not knowing what your own face looked like. And then to finally see yourself...what would that feel like— Eric! Focus. Lizzie is explaining why she asked about your ID in the first place.

As they began walking Eric found himself hopelessly distracted by Lizzie. Most of what she said flew over him as he was too focused on the little details. Like the way she picked pieces off her muffin just like she had that first day he had taken her to King’s Cross. Of course she wouldn’t just bite into it, that didn’t suit her at all. She was too delicate for that; like a princess. But unlike last time, now he found the muffin being offered to him as they walked. He politely declined her first attempt but when she came at him with the ”Are you sure you don’t want any?” He couldn’t refuse her so broke off his own piece, anything to keep her happy. Eric was of course starving, but it wasn’t his empty stomach that was sad when the muffin came to an end. Rather it was his feelings that were hurt as he’d been enjoying all the affectionate attention that had come with it.

£3 later and Eric was actually a little surprised how into this exhibit he was. It wasn’t like he didn’t think he would be, comics just weren’t high on his list of interests. He hadn’t thought he would be as focused on reading as he was. So much so that there were a couple moments he turned around to find Lizzie had moved on. Not far of course, they never strayed more than ten feet apart. Honestly it only happened once or twice, they were hand in hand most of their time there but Eric certainly found himself getting more absorbed into the comics than he had anticipated. It was nice. A much needed break from having to produce his own art or cater to someone’s needs. He could breathe here, and just enjoy the museum with Lizzie without feeling like his every movement was under constant watch or scrutiny.

Though maybe somewhere deep down he did know why he liked the museum so much. In a world that was so heavily dependent on technology, here was something that old fashioned Eric could appreciate. There was so much nostalgia surrounding the cartoons, especially the older ones. The newer generation ones were funny too, but the older ones brought him back to his mother’s kitchen table. The smell of a fresh pot of coffee brewing, a bowl of cereal next to him and the day’s paper opened to the comics because little Eric wanted to look at all the pictures. He had been too young to fully appreciate them back then, so now seeing some familiar art he was eagerly reading whatever adult humor had been lost on his younger self.

Just like with the muffin, Eric had a moment of sad when it came time to leave the museum. What now? Was this to be the end of their day together? They hadn’t had any specific plans, this date— was it a date? It had been super spontaneous, spur of the moment decision. So it’s not like they had a “next” on their agenda. Should he say goodbye and drop her at the train station now? He didn’t want to keep her out if she had things to do. She did just get out of class, what if she was tired? Surely she didn’t want to keep walking London with him.

The universe had something up its sleeve. Eric wasn’t sure what, and couldn’t tell if it was good or bad yet, but apparently they had been spotted at last and Lizzie was now confirming for a second time whether or not he himself had plans….exactly what he had been wondering about her. Funny how that works…
A glance at his wrist told him that it was about an hour until Ricki’s expected arrival. One hour. Sixty minutes. Thirty-six hundred seconds. Three million six hundred thousand—the further he broke it down the larger the number became and the longer his remaining time alone with Lizzie sounded.
He of course agreed to wait. Why wouldn’t he? Not only was he Eric Oliver: the boy who didn’t know how to say no. But she was Lizzie Darcy: the girl who had him wrapped around her little finger. There was absolutely zero chance he would have said no to her and it probably wouldn’t take long before Lizzie caught on to that little fact.

Eric didn’t have a particularly long list of likes or dislikes. He didn’t usually have that luxury and so stayed pretty neutral to most things. But holding Lizzie’s hand had skyrocketed up that list for sure. There was something about how small it was, how perfectly it fit in his hand as though their hands were made to go together. They were meant to be. So much so that when they arrived at their Lizzie chosen spot in the garden and she released his hand it ended up closing in on itself as though she were still there. It was still warm where her touch had been. If he couldn’t hold her hand he didn’t want to hold anything. Okay Eric...little extreme, just take your backpack off and sit down, she’s not going anywhere.

Thankfully she was back at his side once they were both seated on the grass and Eric took that moment to glance around them. He couldn’t help it. They were sitting out in the open, he needed to know who was around them, where the nearest escape was, the foot flow in and out of the garden—then Lizzie was speaking to him and Eric ran his hand through his hair in an effort to break his focus away from his paranoia and return it to Lizzie as he looked away from the sunglasses man and over to her instead.

Come back to the flat. Spend the night. Everyone will be cool. That stinging feeling from before was back and desperately clawing at him; trying to pull him back down by her words. It still hurt a little hearing Lizzie invite him to the flat. The fact that she had no idea what his reality was. He could physically feel the distance between them right now during his pause after she spoke. But unlike last time, now he was more sure that he wanted to be around her—be with her. And those feeling overrode his painful ones. He should be thankful that she cared enough about him to invite him over, not bitter that she didn’t understand the flip side of her words. So Eric smiled, he would try to embrace her innocence of the situation and just enjoy every moment he had with her for as long as he had her, ”Sure.”
Was he supposed to be proud of himself for not starting with uhm? Or should he be kicking himself in the shin for such a boring response? What kind of answer was “sure”?! It made it sound like he simply didn’t have anything better to do. As though going with her was just a way to pass the time rather than actively wanting to spend time with her.
”I’d like that.”

Fast forward some and Eric was pondering over her question about his script. That’s right, she had thought he left, she probably hadn’t seen him asleep on the couch late last night. For all she knew he went home, tried to write and then went to work this morning. But no, Eric went on to explain he hadn’t worked on it since, she didn’t need to know why.

”Oh, uhm,” it was back. Truthfully no one had really asked him about his writing process before. It wasn’t like it was a personal subject or anything, he just didn’t have a pre-rehearsed answer to give her so ended up falling silent for a moment while he thought about it. Sensing his hesitation she began to apologize for asking and that she understood if he didn’t want to share but Eric was quick to interrupt her before she could change the subject, ”No, no, it’s fine,” He touched his hair, ”Sorry, it’s just that no one has ever asked that before.”

”I guess I sort of just...picture it all?” That did not clarify anything.
”I don’t really sit and write,” explaining why he had gotten absolutely nothing done last night in Lizzie’s room, ”Scenes just play out in my head, like movies, and I write them down whenever they come to me. I don’t actually get to work on anything for a while until I have enough ideas to connect the dots.”
Lizzie seemed rather amazed at this but Eric went on to assure her that it was actually a hassle trying to write like this, ”It comes to me in bits and pieces, I don’t have a full picture in mind until the very end. It’s actually rather annoying. I create a lot of plot holes working this way because two ideas will contradict one another and I don’t notice until it’s too late.”

Way to go Eric, expose the faults in your creative thought process for being as much of a mess as you are. Way to lift her up and then let her down all in the same breath. Lizzie didn’t seem phased though and was genuinely interested to hear all about it, so that ended up staying the topic of their conversation for the remainder of their time together until Lizzie’s phone went off with Ricki calling to ask her whereabouts. Thank god. While Eric had loved his solo time with Lizzie, he was getting sick of talking about himself and his thoughts and opinions but he didn’t have it in him to ask Lizzie if they could change subjects. He would much rather be talking about her.

And so back to the flat the the four of them went: Ricki, and Lizzie, and Lizzie’s hand in Eric’s, and Eric. There was the usual fussing from Olivia, some side comments from Angel about how often he had been over lately, but overall nothing much happened the rest of the night. Ricki was clearly home so there was no private hangout time in Lizzie’s room. They mainly occupied the table in the common area while Eric ate so as to keep his best friend happy and off his back. It was a nice relaxing evening after a long day of work and their spontaneous museum date. Honestly Eric was pretty exhausted but he was running on the high he got from Lizzie so as long as they were together he was fully alert and responsive...as far as Eric’s personality went anyways. He wasn’t like overly attentive or anything, still plenty laid back and just generally easy to get on with. But as soon as goodnights were said it hit him and Eric was out as soon as his head hit his pillow. He was already this tired just after today, how would he survive taking Lizzie back to King’s Cross tomorrow?

Well the odds didn’t seem to be in his favor. As if work wasn’t draining enough already, almost as soon as he started he was asked if he could come back that night for a graveyard shift. It meant he could leave early today because legally he had to have a certain amount of hours between his shifts. And normally sure, he could go nap somewhere and come back, but today he had a date after work. Like, an actual date. Not just a glorified hang out. He should have said no, he should have told his manager that he couldn’t take this shift. But as mentioned, Eric wasn’t particularly skilled at the art of saying no. There was also the fact that overnights paid well and he had money to make up for. If his schedule didn’t kill him then Olivia definitely would later if she found out he was double booking himself like this. But she didn’t need to know, there was no reason to tell her. It also completely slipped his mind the second he saw Lizzie.

As soon as he saw her it was like all his worries no longer mattered. He was no longer tired, no longer dreading a second work shift. He wasn’t stressed over money or his writing. It was dangerous how much power Lizzie’s presence alone had over him. Suddenly nothing else mattered and he would make one bad decision after another if it meant being with her and making her happy. Like right now, as he asked if she had eaten yet and after she said she hadn’t he went on to ask if she minded going to King’s Cross after lunch. He really did not need to be dropping money on eating out, but something had popped into his head for Lizzie and he couldn’t let the opportunity go to waste.

He could tell that King’s Cross was less urgent this time around, she had satisfied her immediate desire to visit last time and...well...maybe it was all in Eric’s head, but Lizzie seemed almost as eager as he was with her; quick to agree to anything and everything he said. As though what they did didn’t matter as long as they were together. Did she feel the same way as he did? Or was he just getting all wrapped up in his feelings and seeing what he wanted to see? Well either way, Eric was soon leading the way to lunch, ”Well it’s not actually Harry Potter affiliated but,” Eric slowed down as they rounded the corner and he pointed up to the yellow lettering of GRANGER & Co. Would she get his reference? He could practically hear the flat’s eye rolls over his rather bad pun. But this was Lizzie, the girl who flew halfway around the world to work in the same neighborhood as Platform 9 ¾, surely she of all people would appreciate his sense of humor.

They only had to wait about ten, maybe twelve minutes to be seated which was a mini blessing as they were approaching peak hours and GRANGER & Co was walk in only. Then once seated across from one another, each with a menu in hand Lizzie asked the typical, “Have you been here before?”
Truthfully Granger was generally outside of his budget, but he had been here at least twice before, that he remembered anyways, ”A couple times, yeah,” he had to mentally kick himself to keep going, ”I came here for a work party at the beginning of the year. And, well, we went to a different location, this one wasn’t open yet, but we came for Olivia’s sister’s graduation.”

That was back when he had an assortment of cash and drugs on him at all times. But still before Olivia knew. He had paid for their meal entirely; it really wasn’t a hardship at the time, he was at the peak of his time working for Howard. That had possibly been one of the last times Olivia had seen him before discovering the truth about his life following his mother’s passing. Wow that almost felt like an entire lifetime ago. Almost. The wad of cash in his pocket against his leg served as a reminder that even though he was safer, and he was in a happier place, his life still wasn’t his. His life belonged to Howard and he would pay for this later. Literally. Eric knew he was gonna be in deep shit for coming up short, but when it came to Lizzie Eric couldn’t prioritize properly. It was like he forgot everything he was supposed to do. His mind went a million kilometers a second and completely skipped over things like his debt, his health, his schedule—basically anything having to do with him. All he could focus on was Lizzie. Lizzie this and Lizzie that. He was a little obsessed.

When the waitress came by towards the end to inquire how they were, Eric’s cocktail had long been finished and his chair had gradually moved from sitting across from Lizzie to being directly beside her, their thighs touching and his elbow on the table leaning in even closer to her. His plate was empty apart from the last bite that was by now cold and long forgotten as Eric’s full attention had been on Lizzie for the entire second half of their time there. He had eaten, and made attempts at normal conversation. But sitting alone like this, it hadn’t taken long before he naturally gravitated closer and closer, he really couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t like they were talking about anything particularly important or personal, but Eric seemed to have adopted this low voice when talking one on one with Lizzie like this. His words were for her ears only, but as such it took a minute for him to acknowledge the waitress standing there. Eric was quick to apologize, he knew that side of customer service all too well and instantly felt for this girl who had ever patiently been trying to ask if there was anything else she could get them, ”Dessert?”

Eric’s eyes flickered back to Lizzie as though silently asking for her opinion. Personally he didn’t really want any, but the look on Lizzie’s face told him they would definitely be staying for sweets. So with a smile at her excitement he looked back to their waitress ”Could we see the menu again, please?”
Granger’s had a fairly short list of options to go over; the two of them huddled over the laminated paper shared between them. But as soon as their agreed upon order was placed and the waitress left with the menu, Eric reached his hand over to cover the back of Lizzie’s. Once he had her attention he informed her he was going to go for a wee and pushed his chair back just enough for him to stand up. She would be okay waiting by herself for a couple minutes, right? Well the bathroom wasn’t the only place Eric stopped at while he was up. After peeing and after ensuring he was still out of sight, Eric politely cornered their waitress while she was near the restaurant’s POS system and proceeded to pay for the entirety of their meal plus dessert with that same cash that had been weighing down the thoughts in the back of his head for the past hour. He had long patronized his own mother for her needless spending habits— for being unable to fight off her own addiction. But it seemed genetics were strong and Eric had found his own drug: Little Lizzie Darcy.

The dessert was shared between the two of them, each with their own fork and taking turns attacking it from either end creating a sort of wall between them. It was this little dance of not taking bites at the same time and not taking pieces the other person touched until it was down to the last bit and Eric was finally the one to break down the barricade. Shortly after cutting the last piece in half; and thus dipping into her side of the dessert, Eric set his fork down and nervously fixed his hair with his other hand. Everything with Lizzie came in waves. Moments of perfection when Eric honestly couldn’t be happier, followed by brief moments of panic when he didn’t know what to do and spiraled as he began second guessing absolutely everything he was doing. It was during one of those latter moments that he was too trapped in his thoughts to stop her: Lizzie had flagged down one of the wait staff. She asked for the check; how American of her, but the term was still understood albeit with some confusion as the waitress replied slowly that the bill had already been paid. There was a pause, and then Eric felt Lizzie’s eyes on him and he met her gaze with a small smile. His confidence quickly shattered and he jumped to change the subject, ”Let’s go?”

Lizzie seemed excited to be back at King’s Cross, it was almost like their first trip had never happened. Eric had noticed that her phone had been out a good deal since they first met up. But she seemed almost conflicted in using it. As though she wanted so desperately to document everything but to also be in the moment and experience it all. He found himself in a couple of these photos. And likely was in more that he was unaware of. Of course they ended up back in line for photos at Platform 9 ¾; standing much closer together this time around. And then lost inside the gift store as Lizzie zoomed around in her own little paradise.

Eric’s paradise was simply being around Lizzie and he was loving every second of it. But time flies when you’re having fun, and all good things must come to an end. Before he knew it Lizzie was asking about returning to the flat together and Eric had to fight every fiber in his body from saying yes. He had work still that night—that stupid overnight he was now heavily regretting agreeing to. If he went back with her, he would have to travel all the way back out here. A feat he was no stranger to but he was feeling the exhaustion setting in in ways that not even Lizzie could counter. However he chose not to mention that he had work and simply left it as, ”I’m sorry love, I can’t tonight.” Oh how he wanted to take back those words as soon as he saw the disappointment flash across her face. He really just couldn’t this time though. The thought of walking all the way back out here in the middle of the night was less than unappealing and the tiny rational side of Eric that managed to overlook the Lizzie factor honestly just wanted to find somewhere to nap until his shift.

Sure enough, after walking her to the station for the train home Eric lost all that was left of his energy. Lizzie had kept him going this whole time but it had been back to back busy days this week and it was catching up to him. Olivia was going to kill him once she found out.
Luckily his overnight shift was uneventful. The workload was easy, it was just the grueling hours that made it such a rough night. But despite being so disorientingly tired Friday morning, something possessed him to trek out to his car and grabbed his guitar from the boot. As well as a change of clothes of course. By the time he reached the flat it seemed everyone had left for their classes or shifts leaving Eric all alone. Peace and quiet at last. After a quick shower he was fast asleep on his couch till around 3pm when his body decided it was time to wake up. No he was not well rested off just five hours sleep, but he couldn’t seem to fall back asleep—or rather his mind wouldn’t let him sleep. All he could think about was her...Lizzie that is. To the point that his notebook was open in front of him on the coffee table. The previously blank page now had lines going across with some dots and squiggles here and there; handwritten sheet music. His guitar was out, propped on his knee with a guitar pick between his teeth as he jotted down notes, both literal and little blurbs and reminders for himself.

”I don't ever tell you how I really feel
Cause I can't find the words to say what I mean
And nothing's ever easy
That's what they say
I know I'm not your only
But I'll still be a fool
Cause I'm a fool for you

He’d had the tune in his head for so long now that you could never tell this was his first time playing it on his guitar. It was like he knew the song so well that he just flowed freely onto the paper without any hesitation.

”Just a little bit of your heart
Just a little bit of your heart
Just a little bit of your heart is all I want
Just a little bit of your heart
Just a little bit of your heart
Just a little bit is all I'm asking for”

There was a guitar break here, which he paused to write in before continuing, humming a melody to himself until the lyrics returned.

”I know I’m—“ A noise behind him cut him off and he turned to see who or what was there, after all he should have been alone in the flat—it was Lizzie. His mind was instantly flooded with role reversal dejavu; he had walked in on her singing however many weeks ago. But things were different between them now, ”Oh.”
Things being different didn’t change the situation though, she made him nervous. The good kind of nervous. But she also triggered a sort of stage fright in that moment that Eric had never experienced before. He didn’t have a problem with performing. But there was something almost exposing about her walking in on him working. He didn’t mind! He simply hadn’t been expecting her and his productivity came to a crashing halt. Had he really been working for so long that Lizzie was home? Geez what time was it?

”You’re back.” Idiot. Thank you Captain Obvious. ​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 092218-----------❖ LOCATION — lizzie's bedroom-----------❖ COMPANY — her feels
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

It was terribly difficult to focus in class Thursday afternoon. And considering it was her only class for the day, Lizzie felt tortured. How could she have thought that her two hour seminar today would fly by? The morning she spent at the flat getting through this week’s assigned manuscript came and went faster than her sitting in class. Why could it not be four already? All she wanted was to see Eric again.

Honestly, Lizzie had not paid attention once in class. Whether it was the group discussion the first hour or the class discussion in the second, everything flew over her head. She realized that she spent more time daydreaming about her King’s Cross date with Eric when she turned to find that Anna had two full pages of notes typed out on her laptop.

When class was finally dismissed for the day, Lizzie didn’t waste any time. Granted, she wasn’t rude about her departure. She made sure to say her goodbyes to Anna and the others after explaining that she had a date to get to. Yes, she distinctly called it a date. Whether Eric considered it as such too, or if it was all in her mind, she strongly believed that King’s Cross was a date. No one was going to tell her otherwise.

Lizzie had her Instagram DM conversation with Eric open when she stepped out of the train and made her way toward the stairs. Eric had left her specific instructions on where to meet him so that she wouldn’t end up getting lost. She thought this was strange though. If she got lost, couldn’t she just contact him to ask for his current location? He made it seem as if she would not be able to contact him again before they met up.

Of course, despite her curiosity, Eric’s directions worked pretty well. Lizzie found him exactly where he had told her to meet him. Her curiosity from earlier faded away instantly at the very sight of him. Even from a distance and when he was unaware of her presence, just looking at him gave her chills. Maybe it was because of the thought that they would spend more time together. If it weren’t for reality and responsibilities, she could spend all of her days doing nothing but loving him being with him.

Even if today was supposed to be a King’s Cross visit day, Eric was rational enough for the both of them to propose that they eat first. She didn’t even think about having a meal together. After all, it was already after four...it was nowhere near lunch and it was definitely still too early for dinner. But, oh well, a meal was a meal and any meal with Eric was just as special...as well as anything else involving spending time with him.

As soon as she registered just exactly where they would be eating, Lizzie really tried her best to contain her excitement. Sure, Eric already warned her that it wasn’t actually from the franchise, but just staring at GRANGER had her heart racing with excitement. It was so sweet. Eric had thought to take her to GRANGER & Co. because he knew she would get the reference. He thought about her. Her! Please excuse Lizzie while she tries not to freak out too much over the feels.

Save for the one incident when Eric mentioned Diana - in which she tried to shake off how tense the very topic made her feel - the meal went well. By the time Lizzie finished her cocktail and food, Eric had completely moved over to her side of the table. Every time his knee bumped against her leg under the table, it was like a jolt throughout her body dosing her with another rush of adrenaline. It was a miracle she was able to concentrate enough to keep the conversation going.

When dessert came along, Lizzie was left alone at the table for the first time since they arrived. Naturally, she used this alone time to browse her phone. Of course, this wasn’t the first time she had picked up her phone since she met up with Eric. It had actually been on the table the whole time. Every so often it would make an appearance when she wanted to take a picture or two...or more. Basically her Insta-story would serve as a decent summary of her time with Eric for those that bothered to look. If she had actually been observant enough instead of looking over her story, she would have caught Eric sneaking off to the side in an area that was not the bathroom. But, lo and behold, she didn’t and thus when they finished their shared dessert after his return, she was told by their waitress that the bill had already been paid. Lizzie was quick to look over at Eric for an explanation, but she didn’t get one. Sneaky, sneaky boy.

“So here’s a thought,” Lizzie started, turning her attention away from the platform information board. “Do you think they made any upgrades between the events of the last book and nineteen years later? Like, I know these wizards are supposed to be, like, ignorant to the advancements of technology, but, like, it seems by the time Harry’s generation has influence, they would try to make some changes? Does the Ministry really think that incoming students in the age of social media and advanced technology would even think about giving that up just to learn how to use magic?” She paused to look at the progress of the photo op line. Even for a Thursday, there was still plenty of tourist activity around the little Harry Potter corner. “Imagine the dread of incoming first years running into Platform 9 ¾ and realizing that they might not be able to text their muggle friends for mooooonths. Suddenly the classic aesthetic of the platform isn’t that Instagram-worthy.”

Despite her commentary on the wizarding world, Lizzie still had fun at the photo op. Unlike their first visit, Eric seemed more willing to participate in the pictures. Especially when the staff taking their pictures began instructing them to be more coupley. It took a lot of Lizzie’s willpower not to give in to the urge to post the one with their arms around each other on Instagram. Not that she couldn’t. But considering they were still “taking things slow,” she wanted to respect those boundaries.

Apart from the Lizzie and Eric quality time, Lizzie had another mission when they returned to King’s Cross Station: she had souvenirs to buy. Not just for herself, but for her family and friends back home. As soon as they entered the gift shop, she went straight to work gathering all that she had scoped out the last time she was at King’s Cross. She even tried to get something for Eric as thanks for paying for lunch, but he had insisted that she not buy him anything. Not that it would stop her, of course.

“Here, it’s the least I can do since you paid for lunch,” she said to Eric as they walked out of King’s Cross, digging through her bag full of souvenirs. She pulled out a small, rectangular blue box. As she handed it over to Eric, she made sure to flip it over to reveal that it was a bookmark with the Ravenclaw crest at the top. “Maybe you can use it so that you don’t lose your progress on your next script. I have the Hufflepuff one,,” she explained with a bright smile on her face.

With her mission accomplished, the two spent the rest of the time exploring the rest of King’s Cross Station. It didn’t occur to Lizzie that there was actually more to the train station than just...well...being a train station. Turns out there was plenty to see in the surrounding area. And then, just like that, it was about that time to head back to the flat. Lizzie was half-expecting that Eric would be coming with her. After all, it was a Thursday. According to the schedule he had shared with her, he was already done with work and he didn’t have any rehearsals to attend. So when he told he that he couldn’t make it to the flat today, Lizzie was so caught off guard she didn’t stop the disappointment from showing on her face. She didn’t mean for it to happen, she was just so bummed that her time with him was over. If she could, she was willing to give him all her time if he asked.

But it wasn’t meant to be as they parted at the entrance to the Tube station.

In her effort to lessen how much she missed Eric, Lizzie kept herself busy with her manuscript. Anna had been nice enough to share the notes from Thursday’s class so she could prolong catching up with readings for the time being. Admittedly, with all of the time she spent with Eric this week, she was a bit behind on her assigned manuscript and if she didn’t finish her report by Friday night...she was screwed. Not that she could ever blame Eric for being behind on tasks.

The goal once she got home from her internship that Friday was to get started on and complete her report. In-between tasks around the office, she pulled out her phone to quickly type up an outline on Google Docs. Hopefully that would help lessen the time it would take to finish it.

Lizzie was actually in the middle of editing her outline as she unlocked the front door to the flat when she heard what sounded like a guitar at the other end of the hall. She froze. She honestly expected the flat to be empty by the time she got home. Based on the Google Calendar, everyone else was supposed to be busy. Who in the world lied?

It was when she was halfway down the hallway that she got her answer. Her mouth widened to an excited grin. She recognized that most beautiful singing voice instantly.

She took slow, quiet steps toward the common room, listening intently as Eric played. With a couple more steps before she would be standing at the open double doors, Lizzie pulled out her phone and opened Snapchat. Of course she would open Snapchat.

She started recording while he sang what she could only assume was the chorus. Slowly, she snuck over to the double doors. She watched through her phone as Eric focused intently on his guitar. Once he stopped and it became evident that he would not be playing anymore, Lizzie stopped recording. However...she made a mistake. She forgot to put her phone on mute. As soon as she took her thumb off the record button, Eric’s chorus rang out in the silence. “Shit…” She quickly hid back in the hallway as she rushed to put her phone on mute. When she reappeared at the double doors, Eric had begun to turn his head away from his notebook - or maybe it was his guitar - to look right at her.

“Hey!” she greeted. “I didn’t know you were going to be coming by today. I thought you had, like, theatre stuff to do...or something.” As she said this, she saved the video she recorded with the intention to send it to JKL later...and for her own personal viewing pleasure, of course. As she closed Snapchat then locked her phone, she looked back up to offer Eric a bright smile. “That is beside the point. I’m glad you’re here. I missed you.”

How to address the guitar. Lizzie had only ever seen Eric with a guitar once; during that first Flat Night when they officially met. Sure, she registered at the time that he knew how to play. However, having not seen him with a guitar (or any instrument really) since then, she didn’t think he played played...if that made any sense. It definitely didn’t cross her mind that he could actually own a guitar. Why it never crossed her mind...was beyond her. It also made her realize that in the many conversations they had, he had failed to mention anything about owning his own instrument. Why was that?

In the end, she decided not to directly address the guitar. “So…” she started slowly as she took a seat on the shorter couch and dropped her bag on the floor. “Working on something new?” she asked curiously. It was an internal battle for Lizzie to not let her prying eyes wander over to the open notebook on the coffee table. But after having been given an invitation to look in it the other day, the temptation was strong.

There was also the fact that she had his maybe chorus in her head. It had simple lyrics. But the tune was...well, “catchy” wasn’t the right word. It was something...and the word was at the very tip of her tongue. All she knew was that she couldn’t get it out of her head.

The struggle to find the word to describe this situation distracted her to the point that if Eric had answered her question, it flew completely over her head. She caught him saying something about some older songs, but not knowing the context of what that meant. “Hm?” Not wanting to make it appear like she wasn’t paying attention, she immediately took a shot in the dark to give a response. “Maybe later? You looked really into your work when I walked in.”

Oh, speaking of which….

“Actually, I should probably follow your lead on that,” she started with a small laugh. “I have a report to type up for work tomorrow morning. Do you mind if I leave you be for a bit to finish it? Hopefully it shouldn’t take me too long to do…”

As much as she wanted to work in the common room with Eric, Lizzie knew that all the guitar strumming would end up distracting her. When she moved to her bedroom, she kept the door open so that there could at least be some connection between them even if they were doing completely different things for the time being.

With Eric in the other room, Lizzie was motivated to get this report over with. She wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of this Friday with him. Especially because she didn’t even think she would be seeing him.

It was around six when Lizzie finally pulled her gaze away from her laptop, letting out a deep sigh of relief as she listened to the printer whiz and whir as it printed out her completed report. Between the forced concentration and the needed brain power to turn the earlier outline into a full report, she was exhausted. But that exhaustion could never outweigh the excitement she felt knowing that she now had the rest of the evening to spend with Eric.

The guitar strumming had long ago silenced. But to ensure that Eric was still in the common room, Lizzie did lift her head up from her laptop screen to check on him. She did it again as she waited for her report to finish printing, catching him in the middle of scribbling something in his notebook.

“And done!” Lizzie rejoiced, stretching her arms over her head as she left her bedroom. “I’m hungry, did you eat dinner yet?” Lizzie suggested they eat at the cafe since there weren't any leftovers in the flat. She wasn’t exactly in the mood to make the effort to cook something. Well, that and after slaving away for two hours on her report, she needed to get out of the flat for a bit. As they prepared to leave, Lizzie also made sure to point out that she would be treating the both of them tonight. And she was not going to take no for an answer.

Dinner at the cafe was spent catching up since they weren’t able to when she got home earlier. Lizzie filled him in on this week’s manuscript now that she had finished it. The update: it really was not as interesting as she initially predicted when he first asked about it earlier that week.

“So...do you plan on working out of your notebook for the rest of the night? Like, did you want to go back to the flat?” she asked carefully. She swirled the last remnants of her latte in her mug as she then added, “I kinda wanna go out tonight. Like, it’s Friday night. After being stuck slaving away on my computer earlier, I would like to do a bit of exploring.”

Eric seemed up for this, asking if there was anything that she wanted to do in particular. Lizzie thought this over as she pulled her phone out of her back pocket and pulled up Google. “There are a couple things my friends from school suggested, but I’m also up for anything you want to do,” she offered. “Let me see if I can pull up those ideas. They’re not coming to me right now.”

She found a suggestion Eddie left her in one of their text conversations earlier that week. “Have you been to Sky Garden before?” she asked. “My friend sent me, like, a ton of photos of the place and I’m curious to check it out.” Eric explained that he had gone there once with Olivia while she was scoping out venue options for a client. “Oh? That place can also host events? That’s cool. Is it worth a visit?”

Apparently, it was. Now that she was with the expert London commuter, Lizzie followed closely alongside Eric as they maneuvered the Tube station to return to the city. They agreed to have drinks and dessert at Sky Garden. Lizzie couldn’t help thinking about how romantic that all sounded. Drinks and dessert at the top of the world on a Friday night. If she wasn’t running on the high of being out and about with Eric Oliver, she would swoon at the prospect that tonight just turned into an impromptu date night.

Although an excuse was not necessarily needed, Lizzie used the busy Tube station as her reason to practically cling to Eric. Just like their very first trip to the city together, they were short on luck finding seats and had to resort to holding on to a pole for balance. Unlike that first trip, Lizzie was holding on to the pole with only one hand while the other wrapped tightly around Eric’s slender waist. Now she didn’t need to use a pesky necklace clasp to find a reason to touch him. She was too busy taking in his scent, his warmth and his heartbeat.

They finally arrived at Sky Garden sometime after eight. As expected, it was plenty busy with other Londoners out and about enjoying their Friday night. Regardless, they added themselves to the walk-in list. They made this journey all the way here, they might as well see it through. Even as they waited, Lizzie was amazed. She was sure that Sky Garden during the day time was pretty, but there was something about the evening aesthetic and all the lights inside and out in the city that just made everything more...intimate. By the time their name was called, Lizzie was once again wrapped around Eric in some tiny section apart from the other people waiting for their table.

By the time they were called to their table, both Lizzie and Eric had looked over a menu and figured out what they wanted. So as soon as they were seated, they immediately told their waiter their order. As he walked away, Lizzie could have sworn she caught him making a face when they had opted out of needing a second spoon. What? They shared drinks before. Sharing a spoon was nothing different.

Lizzie was once again feeling conflicted over her time with Eric. Not that she wasn’t having a good time! Of course she was! It was just that the weight of her phone constantly pulled her away from the moment. After spending this whole week with Eric, she started to feel a little bad for always giving in to the need to document all of it. It wasn’t until yesterday did she realize just how in the moment Eric actually was compared to her. It was almost embarrassing how many times she had pulled out her phone to take a picture or a video. Meanwhile Eric had not taken out his phone once. Tonight was no different. Even when they were having dinner at the cafe earlier, he had no phone in sight. How did he do it?

Eventually, Lizzie found a little compromise. When their waiter returned with their shared dessert and their drinks, Lizzie peeled herself off of Eric for a moment to pull out her phone. “Do you mind taking a quick picture of us?” she asked politely. The waiter kindly obliged. Lizzie once again took her place right beside Eric. However, as their waiter slowly counted to three, she made a last minute decision. Before he reached three, Lizzie tilted her head up and leaned closer to Eric so that she posed with her lips pressed against his cheek. And she kept that pose with and without flash.

After she thanked their waiter, Lizzie stuffed her phone back into her purse. It was time to follow her man’s Eric’s lead and enjoy the moment.

Just like Ricki’s birthday Flat Night, Lizzie and Eric managed to make having a conversation work despite so many people around and the loud music. They talked a lot about Lizzie’s life back in California outside of school; he already knew all of that. She told him about her roommates and how they all met. Eric seemed interested in her friendship with Lacey in particular and she wondered if it had anything to do with comparing their friendship to his and Olivia’s. From there, the conversation branched off to discussing JKL. She, of course, purposely left out Jade’s honest opinion about him. What did Jade know? She couldn’t see just how perfect he really is in person.

Between the dessert sharing, the couple rounds of drinks and just being in their little Eric and Lizzie bubble, it was hard to believe that they had been sitting at their table for well over an hour. It was almost ten by the time they paid their bill and returned to the ground.

“Thanks again for taking me here, Eric,” Lizzie said the moment they exited the building. As an added ounce of gratitude, she gave his hand a gentle squeeze while offering him a bright smile.

“Okay, so,” she went on as she took Eric’s arm and wrapped it around her shoulders. Let’s blame the drinks for her PDA. “Now that we have done something I wanted to do, what do you want to do?” She looked up at him closely as he thought this over. In-between her slow blinks, she took in his face again and its small details. Like how his face went briefly serious when he thought something over to himself. Or the way his eyes closed for a second when he runs a hand through his hair; she was sure now that the hair thing had to be some kind of habit.

Eric decided their next destination would be this cafe called Draughts. He didn’t tell Lizzie much about it when they were on the train - now pretty much empty - except that it was near where they visited last time. The mystery, of course, only made Lizzie want to ask more questions. In the end, she dismissed her “in the moment” mentality for the night and looked up Draughts on her phone. Yes Eric, she was aware that she was definitely cheating. But you two have been doing this “test run dating” thing all week, you should know by now that curiosity was Lizzie’s weakness.

“Oh wow! A board game cafe?!” she exclaimed, suddenly very excited. “Okay, what is your go-to board game?”

Fast forward to about an hour and a half later. Lizzie couldn’t help it. While Eric concentrated intently on the Scrabble board between them, Lizzie pulled out her phone from her purse to take a quick photo of him. She was sure that even if she had forgotten to put her phone on mute, he would not have reacted to the shutter sound. She really didn’t think he would take this game seriously. Honestly, it amazed her that he is still able to concentrate as much as he did despite being three drinks into their night.

By last call, they were nowhere near completing the game they had started when they first arrived. Lizzie watched as Eric reluctantly put the Scrabble board and pieces back in the box with an amused smirk on her face. “Babe, you act like you were about to lose that game,” she commented as they walked up to the bar to pay their tab. “You do realize that you write for a living, right? Under all that hair is probably, like, a million words you can use at your disposal. Your mind must be like a magnet board with all those word pieces spread out just waiting to be put into sentences.”

Once they were outside Draughts, Lizzie pulled Eric into a tight hug. This was her effort to cheer him up, whether he was still upset they didn’t finish their game or not. She relished this moment, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist and her head resting comfortably on his chest. Despite the warmth that radiated between their bodies, a chill ran through her. It wasn’t the London cold. No, it was Eric. It was being able to chill spend all this time with him. Sure, this all started with a crush, but honestly, she adored him. Lizzie felt that if he wanted, he could change the way she breathed.

“I don’t want this to end,” she said into his shirt. She then snuggled tighter against him, content to just stand there in silence for a little while longer.

They walked from Draughts to the Queen’s Walk. Lizzie didn’t even have a clue what time it was. She abandoned any attempts to walk hand in hand, unable to be content if his arms were not around her. Considering how long they were together tonight, they reached a point that words were not necessary to stay together. Lizzie was satisfied just having him right beside her. They eventually went to sit on a bench, facing the River Thames and all the lights still shining at this late hour. If this was how they were going to end this night, Lizzie was fine with that.

Ten stops later, Lizzie followed Eric out of the train toward the exit out of the station. Admittedly, she was exhausted. It was now well past three and they still had about a ten minute walk before they reached the flat. Lizzie was once again clinging to Eric’s waist while doing her best to keep up with his long strides.

When they finally made it to the flat, all the lights were off. However, she saw that someone had left the double doors open. Maybe it was because of her? As quietly as possible, they took turns using the bathroom before they reunited in the living room. Even though they were both still awake, Lizzie closed the double doors behind her before she went to sit beside Eric on the couch.

“I had fun tonight,” she said, resting her head against his shoulder while he brushed his thumb across her hand tattoos. “Thanks for going out with me.”

It didn’t take very long for all the energy of tonight to fade. Despite having made herself comfortable with the intention to stay with Eric a little while longer, Lizzie felt herself fading. If she wasn’t careful, she would end up passing out on the couch with Eric without realizing it.

“I should probably go...to bed, I mean,” Lizzie said reluctantly. Obviously she did not want to leave him. After tonight, she wanted nothing more than to just fall asleep on this couch with him; to remain safely in his arms forever. But reason had other plans. She knew that she couldn’t stay. It was late. They both had early schedules and would need to be up in a few hours. It was bad enough that Eric had to sleep on the couch for those few hours instead of his own bed at his own place.

For a brief moment, Lizzie felt terrible. This whole week, she asked him to come over and resort him to sleeping on the couch just so that she could get one more hour with him. Who cares if his place was farther from his work than the flat? She should have been more considerate of his well-being….

Lizzie wiggled under his arm gently in an effort to sit upright. There was a bit of resistance against this action, but she wondered to herself if that was just her imagination giving her a reason to not move another muscle. She realized that her senses were on high alert just ready to pick up on one hint, any hint, that he didn’t want her to leave. Another tug for her to remain in his arms. Another whiff of his scent after being pulled closer. Or his low, leveled, beautiful voice telling her, “Hold up, wait, before you go just stay and talk to me for a little.” Something. Anything.

That moment passed. She was overstaying. Another extra second and it would reach the point of awkward. She had to abide by her statement. She had to leave.

But Lizzie knew, deep down, she couldn’t end this perfect night with some lame statement like “I should probably go.” Tonight was so special. Not that she didn’t think her entire week with Eric hadn’t been special. There was something about tonight that made her feel different about him. It was as if tonight was the culmination of her proposal that they test this out. This all started with a crush, but would tonight mean that she could call it something more?

She had to do something right now to test this feeling. She had to know if what she was feeling was mutual.

When she finally let go of his hand, Lizzie let Eric’s arm loosen around her. He probably thought this was her cue that she was finally going to leave him to go to her room. But as the pressure of his arm against her back faded away, Lizzie once again straightened up on the couch. She turned to look at him, once again examining his features as if she hadn’t already memorized them.

“Hey…” she breathed. As he turned to look at her, she cleared her mind and leaned in closer. It was the briefest of moments; not even a second. But to Lizzie, it lasted an entire lifetime. And when she lost sight of everything Eric, her sense of touch went into overdrive. It was a completely different feeling and sensation from what she already knew. She knew how his hands felt against her skin. How his arms felt wrapped around her body. How his chest falls felt against her cheek. As she pulled away from him, all she could think about was how soft his lips felt against hers. And how she wanted to do it again...but longer...and never ending.

But then she looked into his eyes, those perfect blue eyes that gave her chills. They pulled her back. No. This wasn’t the right time. And as much as she enjoyed it, she knew from the way he looked at her that maybe she should continue with their agreement: take things slow.

Lizzie slid further away on the couch from Eric. After one final look at him, she finally stood up and gave him a shy smile. “Good night, Eric,” she said, her voice no louder than a whisper. Then, she turned and walked to her room.

As she replayed in her head the moment their lips touched, Lizzie was glad her back was to Eric. The moment she closed the door to her bedroom behind her, her back against it, her smile from earlier grew to the widest grin. Her hands flew to her burning cheeks. They felt hot against her touch. If it weren’t for the fact that it was the middle of the night and Eric was at the other side of the door, she would have screamed for joy. ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 092118 - 100818-----------❖ LOCATION — london-----------❖ COMPANY — no one
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

Sitting on the couch with Lizzie at his side just felt right. The longer he sat there the more Eric could feel himself melting against her. His hand held her’s; his fingers and eyes fixated on her tattoos yet again. The buzz from their drinks was still present, keeping his concentration from expanding to anything outside of their little bubble. It was late, he had work in the morning, and his stuff was still all over the common space from before they had left for the night. It was completely untouched actually...a little strange but none of that mattered right now so long as she was at his side.

So. Long. As. She. Was. At. His. Side. Why was she trying to move away?? Eric easily became a deadweight when he was:
a) intoxicated
b) tired
c) comfortable
d) all of the above
As Lizzie moved to sit up he inadvertently just tried to keep her closer but in the end she won and as she released him and moved more he relaxed his pressure against her, his eyes still staring down at his now empty hand that slowly closed in on itself. He should let her go to bed, wish her goodnight and then go to sleep himself, but Eric was sort of trapped in the moment right now and couldn’t seem to accept that she was leaving him until her voice pulled him out of his head.

Whatever he had been expecting, it most certainly was not that. His eyes naturally closed on contact as his body tried to lean into it, his own lips waking up to kiss her back— but then it was over. Too quickly for him to have processed or properly reacted, but his eyes flashed open on his exhale and he just stared, taking in every single detail of her face. Had they ever been this close to each other? He thought for sure his heart would burst as it raced painfully in his chest, but there would be no encore as Lizzie got to her feet to leave, ” — night...”
He stared after the closed doors for a solid minute after Lizzie shut them behind her. What just happened?? Well, she had kissed him obviously. But...what was that? Besides the perfect ending to a perfect day.

He couldn’t be bothered to get up and put away his notebooks or tidy up the coffee table, Eric was far too tired for any of that. But, not too tired to fall asleep apparently. He couldn’t seem to get Lizzie out of his mind. As brief as it was her kiss lingered on his lips in a way that drove him crazy. Why!? It certainly wasn’t his first kiss, nor had it been particularly stand out-ish Truthfully he’d been feeling some type of way all night, ever since that photo they had taken where she had kissed his cheek. It was a harmless action of course, but had been stuck in his head ever since. It was the Lizzie Effect. Every little thing she did was amplified. Every little thing she said had more meaning than if anyone else where to say it. Like back at Draughts when she had said such lovely things about his mind’s relationship with words. He had been teased plenty by Olivia for his extensive vocabulary, praised by teachers for his writing, but when Lizzie talked about him it was like he was the only one in the world with even the slightest skill at Scrabble. He normally would have shied away from such compliments but she spoke so highly about him and in such a way that made Eric hungry for more. He just wanted to do any and everything he could for her, like a dog eager to please. That unconditional love. Was he in love?

Hold up, “love”? That’s pretty heavy stuff. What on earth did Eric Oliver know about love? What did he love? Eric loved a good cup of tea, writing that first word in a new notebook, and any season without snow. LA didn’t have snow! LA isn’t a season Eric… Animals always had a special place in his heart, especially dogs. Lizzie had a dog! He loved music, and theatre. Lizzie enjoyed both those things as well! Theatre...he really needed to work on his script. Eric’s eyes trailed over to the coffee table where he could see his new Ravenclaw bookmark sticking out of a notebook. He loved Harry Potter— no, Lizzie loved Harry Potter. Well, he did too. It seemed all things led back to Lizzie, did that mean he loved her? What was love? You love your friends, you love your family, you find someone to love who you want to spend forever with. But what was love? Did you love your friends just for enjoying their company? It’s fun to be with them and all. Did loving your friends mean something more than being a good friend? Were there different levels to friendship and love affected each differently? He had told Olivia that he loved her plenty of times. But what exactly did that mean when he told her those three little words?

Family is always talked about as being unconditional love. The ultimate form of love. No one will have your back like family. Blood is thicker than water. And all that. But where was his family? When had he ever had a family to love him? Family wasn’t love. Family was a legal binding of familiarity and nothing more. If family was love then he would still have his mother, maybe even his father. He wouldn’t be alone right now.

But was he alone? The last form of love, finding your forever person. Was that what this was? He had Lizzie now didn’t he? He wasn’t alone with her here at his side. Surely somewhere in this trainwreck of thoughts there was at least one valid point that would explain this all. Eric never came to any conclusion though. He went in circles debating Lizzie and love and replaying their date night over and over again in his head until he finally passed out sometime close to 5am...only to be woken about an hour later by Olivia shaking his shoulder after the lights and her verbal wake up calls proved useless, ”Hey, don’t you have work?”

”What time did you get back last night?” There was that worried expression of her’s again but hidden behind an almost accusational tone of voice.
”Uhm...I dunno?”
”You don’t know.” She sounded a little annoyed as she repeated back his response. Eric pressed the heel of his palms to his eyes as though the pressure would relieve the pain that came with inadequate sleep.
”Well it was after 1am, I can tell you that much.”
Why was she attacking him all of a sudden? What had he done to deserve this harassment so early in the morning?
”I’m sorry?”
With a frustrated sigh she straightened up to give him the space to sit up as well, ”Did you have fun at least?” Eric didn’t respond as he looked up at his best friend with a confused expression, ”Last night? Your date with Lizzie?” Still silence. ”God Eric, she posted it all over social media. Everyone knows.”
”Oh.”
”Yeah, oh.” Again with the mocking tone, what was this?? Hadn’t she been the one to tell him to make things work between them?? Hadn’t Olivia been the one to push him forward when he had been running from the thought of a relationship? But now that they had something happening she was suddenly upset with him.
”Be honest with me, how much have you spent on her this week?”
So that’s what this was about.
”We’ve been trading off.”
”GRANGER’s? Sky Garden? These places are not cheap Eric.”
She was trying her best to keep her voice low, sound traveled in the flat and the last thing they needed was to start drama on a Saturday morning. Except, Olivia already had. Eric couldn’t sit calmly any longer and proceeded to get to his feet, a certain coldness to his words, ”Thank you for your concern, Olivia. But I’m fine.”
He didn’t talk like this. Not with Olivia. But he was biting his tongue to hold back full on arguing with her over this. Brushing past her he began gathering his belongings and left the house without tea nor toast. He didn’t even visit the bathroom. Eric went straight to his car to drop off his guitar and change clothes before arriving over an hour early for work.

Olivia was his best friend, the person he would go to to share important parts of his life with. She had basically been with him through it all. Was there anything about him that Olivia didn’t know? Lizzie had kissed him. He had wanted to tell her, he really had. But somehow her waking him up had turned into a full blown fight and they didn’t have those often so Eric wasn’t really sure how to proceed. Should he just give Olivia space? He wasn’t sure what she was so upset over but Eric was sure enough of his feelings now that he knew he wanted Lizzie. He needed this to work. He needed his best friend to accept his relationship and support him because quite frankly Eric was a mess without her. Where would he be without Olivia’s motherly pestering and guidance? Probably dead, or living out of a dumpster— or dead in a dumpster. Unfortunately for Eric, his mind was a strong place and a formidable foe. He couldn’t shake his fight with Olivia from the front of his thoughts and it was affecting his work. How many times had he forgotten things this morning? Items misplaced, orders mistaken, staring off into space and then stuttering his way through sentences when he realized someone had spoken to him. At this point there was only one other force that could possibly break through into his head and that was Lizzie. But she must be back at the flat by now and there was no way she would trek over here just to see him— ”Eric!”
His head turned over slowly, not quite sure if he was hallucinating or not because that voice had sounded an awful lot like— ”Lizzie!? What are you doing here?”

Eric couldn’t hide his smile even if he’d wanted to. The hair was up in a bun as he was standing on the other side of the bar today, filling in for a bartender who had called out last minute. He was dressed head to toe in a black uniform, but his sleeves had to remain down so as to hide all his tattoos. Only the tiny cross on his hand was visible. He set down the bottle he’d been holding, not even sure how it had ended up in his hands anymore. All thoughts and common sense had flown out the window the second he heard Lizzie’s voice. But his coworker approached the bar and in a hushed voice reminded him he was still on the clock:
”Oliver! That couple by the window is still waiting for their Bloody Marys.”
Shit. That’s what he’d been holding the bottle for. He offered Lizzie a rushed apology and insisted that she sit down as he went about preparing the two drinks for the wait staff to deliver.

Once the drinks were made he of course offered to make her something. Anything she wanted, or maybe she wanted to order something to eat? He would see to it that she got any and everything her heart desired. He even got a little breathing room to just talk with her, a momentary lull in the restaurant. But maybe he got a little too into their conversation as it was actually another guest that called his attention away from his little American girl.
”Oi! Can I get a drink or what?”
Eric’s eyes trailed away from Lizzie to see who on earth was so demanding at this hour, but seeing a familiar face had him freeze in place. His blood ran cold for a moment seeing Howard sitting alone at the end of the bar. He didn’t say anything to Lizzie this time as he left her to go see what Howard was here for. Well, he knew perfectly well what he wanted, but it was rare for him to actually track him down.

”You don’t have it, do you?”
Eric hadn’t made the journey out to Barking yet, reason being that he was short this month. He’d spent that money on Lizzie, ”I just haven’t had time with work to get out there.”
He spoke quietly to keep the conversation between them and grabbed a clean glass to add to his act of handling this customer. As great an actor as he was great, though Eric was a terrible liar and Howard wasn’t at all phased with his excuse as he nodded vaguely in Lizzie’s direction, “She looks like she has money. I could just ask her for you if you don’t have it. “
Eric didn’t need to turn to know he was talking about Lizzie. He had to force himself to keep moving, push the drink towards Howard and then wipe the counter where he’d been pouring. His mind was a series of sirens and warning lights. Danger, danger! Lizzie was in danger! But right now all he could do to protect her was to keep her from interacting with Howard. And so here he was standing in silence while Howard picked up the glass but paused before he took a sip, ”You know, the way she looks at you, it’s like she’ll do anything for you.”
”I can bring it to you tonight, after work.“
”Why are you working here? You should have came back when I offered—“ he threw his head back to chug the rest of his glass in one go and let it clatter on the counter when he set it down, ”Don’t make me wait.“

Eric was internally shaken as he took the glass back and watched Howard leave, glancing back over at Lizzie one last time. He knew. Howard knew he didn’t have the money to make this month’s payment. And he knew Eric had a cute new distraction in his life. This couldn’t be good. Surely Howard wouldn’t actually do anything to threaten her. Right? That wasn’t his style at all. But Eric’s heart and mind were racing as he made his way back to Lizzie who of course was curious and inquired about the guest who had kept him away for so long, ”Oh, uhm,” what could he tell her that she would just accept without further questions??
”He’s a bit of a regular. Hasn’t been by in a while though. “ It didn’t actually clear things up but that was at least believable, right?

Eric did was he could to keep Lizzie seated at the bar for as long as possible after that and to steer the conversation as far away from Howard and work as he could until a good while had passed. Would Howard be waiting outside? Was it safe to let Lizzie leave by herself? After returning from dropping off some drinks at a table his panicked heart finally came to a decision and he turned back towards her while trying to clean whatever was in reach. He needed to ensure nothing kept him overtime today.
“Do you uhm, have anything you can do around here for a while?” She gave him a sort of confused glance, not sure what he was getting at so Eric was quick to add on, “Well it’s still going to be a couple hours until I’m off but I thought it’d be nice to head back together, if you don’t mind waiting....?” Honestly Eric felt awful asking her to wait till he was off; it wasn’t just like a twenty minute wait, it was a couple hours. But for her safety Eric could be selfish. To keep her safe he didn’t mind making such a demanding request. He was sure she had things to do, but a part of him was also sure that if this past week was to show for anything: she would be willing to wait just to be with him.

And he was correct in that assumption. They confirmed to meet back outside the hotel when he was off at 4 and then said their goodbyes for now. Eric had had a great time just having her presence around him, now watching her leave he felt a little like he was losing a piece of himself. Was that too extreme? Maybe a little. But he honestly had such a strong connection with her. The rest of his shift returned to that spacey mentality and simple mistakes. All he could think about was Howard and Lizzie, money and Lizzie, Howard and Lizzie, money—he caught himself staring at the register while his coworker counted out change for a guest paying in cash. How was he going to come up with the rest of the money before the night ended??

Four o’clock finally arrived and Eric had never been so quick in making sure he was leaving on time. Lizzie was waiting for him. He prayed she was waiting for him. If she wasn’t outside then did that mean that Howard had gotten to her? Or maybe she had left and gone back home without him after all. Did she message him? He should have checked his messages. It wasn’t part of his routine to check for messages so he didn’t think of it until he was walking through the hotel side entrance and out to the pavement. There she was. The highlight of his life. His tiny spot of sun in this city of London fog. All his worries left him once he saw her standing there waiting for him just like they had agreed.
”Hey love,” after a quick kiss into her hair and an accidental but surprisingly soothing whiff of her shampoo, he had to remind himself to let go of her after he’d possibly overstayed his hug, ”What were you up to?”

Eric was riddled with anxiety the entire commute back to the flat. He found himself frequently glancing around as though expecting to see someone following them or something. Was his paranoia showing? His hair was out of the bun by now so he was able to run his hand through it as needed. It wasn’t even their immediate safety that had him on edge, Eric’s mind was spinning trying so hard to come up with his missing money—which was even more short now since they were taking the tube home. He was so distracted, and Lizzie could only do so much to calm him down.

At least when they walked up to the flat he didn’t see Olivia’s car in her usual parking spot. He wasn’t sure how to face her right now. Would she still be cross with him? Would she begin questioning him again on the spot? Right here, in front of Lizzie? Well she wasn’t here, so he would handle that as it came.

Eric was near inseparable from Lizzie for the rest of the evening, everywhere she went he followed and then they were cuddled on the couch until bed. Eric had just begun to calm down when Lizzie reluctantly pulled herself out of his arms to go to her room to sleep; still no sign of Olivia. He wasn’t tired at all, he was too stressed to be tired. Eric’s mind wouldn’t shut up so much so that he didn’t hear the front door open over the sound of his own thoughts until Olivia walked into the common space. She didn’t even look at him, just crossed straight to the kitchen. Should he...say something? A tiny part of him wanted to tell her that Howard had come by the hotel today. That was something that should have been shared with his best friend. But Eric was still paralyzed over their little tiff this morning and managed to convince himself that she didn’t need to know. No one needed to know. He would figure this out himself.

Eric waited until he was absolutely sure that the last of the flat had gone to bed before making his move. He’d spent the entire evening going over all his options until he finally had decided on what he thought would be the safest for everyone: he had to leave. He couldn’t stay here now that Howard knew he had someone important to him. He didn’t entirely think that Howard would try to do anything to Lizzie directly, but the threat had been made and Eric did not take it lightly. Whether or not Howard ever approached Lizzie, he was cutting it too close to home now. And with Eric still thousands in debt he couldn’t exactly just opt out. Olivia would kill him when she found out—but they weren’t talking apparently, so maybe not. Leaving wasn’t an easy decision, but Eric couldn’t see any alternative right now. So that was how he ended up behind the wheel of his Ford Fiesta in the middle of the night driving back home to Barking.

There were next to no cars on the road when he turned into his childhood neighborhood. It was honestly sort of a run down part of town. The buildings all held up just fine, and it was a cute community during the day. But there was just something eerie about it at night that had Eric glancing in his rear view mirror as though expecting to be followed. It wasn’t so much the living he was scared of though; rather his own ghosts. Even though he came back here a couple times a month, there were still some things that just set him off each time. There was the bakery he used to visit every Sunday afternoon. And over there was the tree he fell out of the summer before his 10th birthday. His school for secondary education. The park he used to stay at with Olivia until her parents would come to call her in for dinner—sometimes he would join them. All around him were memories that were so vastly different from the present that they almost felt like a different life entirely. Like that these memories weren’t his but rather belonged to this little boy without a proper understanding of the world.

His fingers absentmindedly fiddled with the cross around his neck as he turned onto the street where his old church still sat abandoned by all who cared for it. It was chained and boarded up but you could still sneak in if you put in the effort to find an entrance, and Eric knew all of them. At last he pulled up in front of his house, well, the house he grew up in. It was cookie cutter style, that is to say, the surrounding houses all looked near identical with the more or less the same layouts inside. If you know where the bathroom is in your house you could easily find it in someone else’s. Because of that it could be a little confusing to outsiders to walk up to a line of little brick houses and be able to tell them apart. But not to Eric. He knew exactly which house was his. It was the only one that to this day he struggled to look at. It was as though this painful pressure was on him any time he looked in that one direction. So he always avoided that house, honestly he often avoided Olivia’s old home as well and walked straight to Howard’s residence. He didn’t normally stay here long, Eric would only stop by to drop off his money and then hop back on the next train back towards Westminster. And normally he came during the day. Showing up in the middle of the night—well it wasn’t exactly new to him. He used to live like this. But it was no longer routine for him and honestly there was a sickening feeling growing in the back of his throat as he approached Howard’s front door. He hated this, so, so, so much. Was he going to be going back to everything he used to do now?

Eric knocked a few times. Waited. Tried again. Still nothing. Just as he was about to try for a third time a car’s headlights illuminated the house and he turned to see a car pulling up to park in front. He recognized it as Howard’s, so that explained why he hadn’t been answering. Howard technically hadn’t been expecting him, sort of kind of ish, and especially not that this hour. So there had been no real reason for him to be home. A girl stepped out first once the engine was killed and Eric nervously glanced away as he pushed back his hair, ”Eric!” She sounded surprised to see him but Eric forced a smile and stepped away from the front door and towards Howard and his daughter as he greeted them, ”Millie !!”
Step-daughter. Camille’s mother had married Howard a little less than a year after Eric’s own Mum had passed. Did that make her his unrelated younger sister? Indirectly? Not really but it sure felt like it. She was several years younger than Eric, about four years to be exact. She had been 15 when they first met all that time ago, but at the time at least she didn’t live here in the neighborhood with Howard. Her mother had property somewhere in Northern England and they only came for the summer. Honestly he never understood this marriage but it really wasn’t his place anyways, it’s not like he really had put any effort in. But right, so Camille.

Once upon a time ago Eric had been a babysitter of sorts. Chaperone, chauffeur, escort, whatever you’d like to call it. It was the summer before his twentieth birthday when they first met, he had just dropped out of University and had started working for Howard. His job was to drive Camille wherever and be her plus one for events, he was essentially her boyfriend for three months and expected to act like it. It certainly wasn’t a relationship though. He had little to no say in anything and she was young and needy. He did the same the following summer. And while yes, it was demanding, he actually looked forward to his time with the teenager compared to the drug deals, adult escorting or other shady jobs Howard had him doing the other months of the year.

He hadn’t seen her since the second summer he worked for Howard until last month when she popped up at the same bar that Ricki’s party had been at. And well, here she was. Had she moved to London? She was what, twenty now? She could be in school, she could be working, there were numerous reasons for her to be here in Barking right now…

”What’re you doing here?” Howard’s gruff voice interrupted any reunion moment between Eric and Camille. This was it, there would be no going back after this. Eric began his response, speaking low and stumbling over his words as he wasn’t exactly sure what to tell him—”Speak up boy.”
”I don’t have it. But I’ll come back...I’ll work for you again.”
Howard didn’t say anything at first. But despite his stiff upper lip, Eric could have sworn he saw a smirk in his eyes knowing he had won, ”Wait here.”
Camille and Howard both disappeared into the house leaving Eric standing out in the cold for a good ten minutes before Howard came back alone with a thick white envelope in his hand which he promptly held out to Eric, “Since you work in Central London, should be an easy job.” Eric felt his stomach drop as the envelope passed into his open hand. Last time he’d done these types of jobs for Howard that had been all he had in his life. But now he was more or less settled in London. He had a full time job, the theatre, his friends, Lizzie...there was more at stake for him now if anybody caught him carrying this. As Howard went on to explain directions to him, regret filled Eric’s heart with every passing second. He hopped into his car and drove back to London after Howard had said his piece, found a secluded area near the hotel to park for the night, and then stared out the window all night feeling too nauseous to even attempt sleep.

SEPTEMBER 23RD — SEPTEMBER 29TH
Well Eric was plenty early to work the next day. He could barely concentrate during the morning hours as his sleep deprivation and paranoia slowly ate away at him. He had left the envelope in his jacket pocket in the staff room. It wasn’t like anyone had ever gone through his stuff before, he had no reason to be scared that someone would find it. But he was scared. What if today was the day someone turned out his pockets and found the drugs? He would lose his job, he could go to jail. The stress had him physically ill until it was finally time for his lunch break. But rather than dropping by the restaurant kitchen like he usually did he instead rushed back to the staff room and slipped off the outer layers of his uniform and into his personal jacket instead. His hand patted down the inside pocket to reassure himself that the envelope was still there, it was. Then he was off on his first job.

It didn’t look like he would be eating today, the address he’d been told to go to was a good fifteen minute walk from here and his break was only supposed to be half an hour. Fifteen minutes there, fifteen minutes back. Hopefully whoever he was exchanging with wouldn’t be late. Once he reached the street corner he was quick to locate the phone box that he’d been instructed to use. This particular one was long out of service and had instead been converted into a free community library. Take a book leave a book mentality. Howard had said he’d find the money hidden away inside and that after counting it he was to leave his own envelope and then walk away. Eric appreciated that he didn't have to deal with anyone directly this time around, but truthfully this whole sneaking around business made him fairly nervous. Despite his unease Eric didn’t hesitate and stepped into the phone booth with purpose, letting the door shut behind him. His eyes scanned over the book titles till he saw the one Howard had mentioned. Pulling out the hard cover book he could immediately feel the difference and knew it was the right one. He opened it to find the inside had been hollowed out and inside the compartment was a rubber banded wad of notes. Well, no turning back now. Eric unwrapped them and began thumbing through to confirm the amount was correct, then pocketed the cash and replaced it with the envelope of drugs. Don’t bother asking what it was, Eric hadn’t wanted to know so he never opened the envelope. The less he knew the better. He was perfectly content solely being a delivery driver—walker. Once the drugs were stowed away and book was returned to where he had found it, Eric left the booth and was walking straight back to the hotel with a huge weight lifted off his shoulders.

Well that was easy enough. If that was how this arrangement was going to be then he wouldn’t have a problem maintaining his regular schedule and doing these drops on the side. But he spoke too soon. Not even halfway through the week and he was dead on his feet and couldn’t continue on. He’d been late to his shifts and was having to cross into parts of the city that were far out of his commute. And at odd hours of the day and even stranger hours at night. On top of that he was sleeping in his car full time now. But he couldn’t bail on Howard, no, not with Lizzie’s safety on the line. He would have to cut the hotel out of his schedule. So in the middle of his Wednesday shift he tracked down his manager, spinning a quick story about needing to leave early that day because he had a “Bit of a family emergency.” Only that would be the last shift he attended. No one could reach him after that as Howard’s jobs had become progressively more and more demanding. Honestly Eric couldn’t believe he was back here again. He hated this lifestyle; he’d watched it puppet his mother’s life for years before ultimately taking her life, and Olivia had worked so hard to get him out of it before. Yet here he was as though nothing had changed. If it didn’t kill him this time around then Olivia would for sure. Olivia...would she ever forgive him for leaving like he had? Had anyone even noticed that he had left? It killed him to drop Lizzie like that out of the blue, but it hurt knowing Olivia had been afraid of this happening from day one. Of course she had been right. Of course she had known he would ruin his life over Lizzie, making one bad decision after another.

SEPTEMBER 30TH — OCTOBER 8TH
By the start of the second week he was fairly burnt out—scratch that, he was burnt out. Eric already lived an exhausting life without the addition of Howard’s business. He hadn’t slept on a bed sofa since the last time he stayed at the flat. He was showering at the local community center when he could and as for his clothes? Well he was currently knocked out in a chair at a laundromat if that answers your question. He had just returned from Barking to hand over last week’s earnings and pick up the next orders and found he had nothing clean to wear. He was already recycling outfits as it was. And working for Howard wasn’t like working at the hotel. With the hotel he could wear whatever comfy attire he wanted on his own time because he had a uniform to change into for work. But with Howard he was still expected to maintain some level of class and as such was wearing his button ups every day. There was no just throwing on a well worn T-shirt and beat up old hoodie; though that was exactly what he was currently wearing as he waited for the dryer to be done. He looked homeless.

His bag sat on the floor between his feet, his notebooks had long been taken out and left in the car for safe keeping. Not exactly that he was worried that anything would happen to them; it was more so he didn’t have time, energy or muse to work on anything so there was no point lugging around the extra weight. He pretty much only carried daily essentials with him: clothes, money, drugs. Real important, right? Not gonna lie, he was pretty hungry and probably more than a little dehydrated without his usual bottle or three of water.

He woke at the ‘ding’ signaling the dryer was done—Eric was a light sleeper outside of the flat. He had to be, he knew better than most the perils of living on the streets. Nowhere was safe and his guard was always up. Always.

It was later that night that he found himself standing on said streets and dressed in a clean white patterned button up, he was back on babysitting duty to take Camille out and he just prayed he didn’t run into anyone he knew. Thankfully for the most part she and the flat ran in completely different circles. She liked everything shiny, posh and chic while Olivia and the others had their usuals and preferred a friendlier, more neighborly vibe. Angel tended to waver between the two but Eric would just have to take his chances.

Camille was at his side for most of the night. Only leaving him briefly when they encountered a few of her girl friends. Truthfully, it wasn’t awful—accompanying Camille that is. This wasn’t really his scene but he was far more comfortable escorting her around than meeting with strangers; well who wouldn’t be? She was tipsy, bubbly and clinging to his shirt, but she never crossed the line with him. It seemed as though little Camille had matured and was able to keep her flirty and attracted feelings to herself whereas her teen self made sure to tell him how good he looked and loved to show him off. It was actually sort of, nice being here with her now. Like a tremendous relief of pressure off of Eric. It was like a vacation of sorts. Here he didn’t have to worry about balancing his budding “let’s explore our feelings” relationship with his “I’m worried about you” best friend relationship, his money troubles ceased to exist, he didn’t feel like he constantly had to hide a part of him away.

He wasn’t happy here though. It was a false sense of relaxation. Nothing here felt real, and none of it mattered. He felt hollow inside. Like he was the last person left on Earth after surviving the apocalypse. He missed everyone and everything that had been in his life before but knew that he could never have any of it back. The club was bustling and Camille’s hand was warm on his forearm but still Eric felt so so alone, like the world was passing him by. He was completely zoned out, partially thanks to the couple of drinks Camille had brought him, partially just because he was nearing the end of his line. How much longer would he be able to keep this up?

Had Eric been paying attention then maybe he would have noticed the noise level rising in their immediate area. A disagreement of sorts had busted out and there was lots of arguing and shoving taking place. This all flew over Eric’s head until it literally smacked into him. He’d heard a girl scream and turned to see what had happened only for a person to run straight into him with such force that they fell to the ground together. Everything went black for a second after his head hit the floor, but his eyes slowly opened when the weight on his chest moved to continue their escape from the venue. Eric’s ears were ringing as Camille’s worried face came into view. She looked panicked and was attempting to pin his shoulder back down as he moved to sit up. Alas she was useless against his strength and Eric pushed himself upright without struggle. This new angle allowed him to see just what it was that had Camille so freaked. His previously white shirt was now red, like not just a little splotch, no it looked like a lot—it was blood. It didn’t hurt though. Was he just too drunk to feel it? Had he hit his head hard enough to mess with his self awareness? Eric slowly reached towards his stomach where it was the darkest red. It was wet, and warm, but it still didn’t hurt as he pressed against himself trying to find the wound. Nothing. It really didn’t hurt at all. His ears still rung and everything sounded sort of muffled but he was beginning to be able to make out Camille’s voice as she repeated his name and asked over and over if he was okay. Eric’s left hand now pulled his shirt up to his butterfly revealing several other tattoos in the process but the point was that he remained unscathed. No wounds. He hadn’t been cut after all. Whoever had been injured had just bled all over him when they fell. The blood had soaked through to his skin and Eric wiped at it, not thinking through how the second he put his shirt back down it would be on him again.
”I’malright…” His first slurred sentence was barely audible against the club music but as the fog in his head lifted a sense of panic set in. Not scared per say, but realizing the potential danger was extremely sobering and he needed to get Camille out of here asap before it all turned into something worse. Taking her hand in his right, Eric let his bloody shirt drop and promptly got to his feet to lead her out the door and all the way back to her girl friend’s place where she insisted on staying, ”I don’t want Daddy to know.”

That was plenty fine in Eric’s book. Howard didn’t need to know what just happened. Was it just coincidence? Wrong time, wrong place. Or had he or Camille actually been the targets? He didn’t know and did not want to deal with those thoughts if he could help it.

Once Camille was safely settled it was Eric’s turn which required trekking across London back to his car. He hadn’t been here in a while; hadn’t been this close to the flat in a while either. But it was so late at night it was ante meridiem and chances were no one even knew he was parked here. It was fine, he would be fine. He just needed to get out of this bloody shirt before someone saw him.
Not particularly wanting to touch the bloody part again, Eric didn’t bother with the buttons like he normally would have. Instead he took advantage of the fact he only partially buttoned it in the first place and easily slipped it off over his head and dropped it onto the driver’s seat. Really he should have just thrown it away but Eric wasn’t thinking that far ahead right now, he just wanted to change his shirt and leave without bringing attention to himself. His guitar was in its case in the backseat just asking to be broken into. All the notebooks he’d emptied from his bag were dumped on the passenger side front seat; the handwritten sheet music for the now officially titled ‘Just a Little Bit of Your Heart’ was included within them; the Ravenclaw bookmark from Lizzie sticking out to hold the page. It was so, so close to completion. But this ordeal with Howard had put a bit of a dampen on the whole creative writing thing. Most of his clothes were in the backseats with his guitar where they could be easily accessed. The storage and nostalgic memorabilia was mostly in the boot, but the whole car was a cluttered mess with trash giving away signs that he lived out of it. Obviously he didn’t know it at the time, but this would be the last time Eric visited his car for quite some time. Had he known then maybe he would have grabbed a few more things. But as it was after changing he just shoved a couple shirts and a bundle of cash into his bag—he sniffled, hopefully just the cold air and not him actually catching a cold—and then set out on the long trip back to Barking for the next job.​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 100918-----------❖ LOCATION — the church-----------❖ COMPANY — olivia and lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

That bag had been through so much with him and it showed. Honestly it looked sort of ancient; dirty and borderline neglected. Like if it were a child you might be Google searching Child Protective Services’ number right now to file a report for it. But it was loyal and served him well. Always managed to keep his belongings safely stowed away. The pockets were large enough for him to cram his nomadic life into. Where would he be without that bag? It went just about everywhere with him. Like right now, as it waited on the floor some feet away from the chair Eric was sat on; and not entirely by choice. Howard stood in front of him, half drunk bottle in hand while another, larger man stood with arms crossed by the only door in and out of this room. He was trapped.

Howard had somehow learned of the events at the club some nights ago and had wanted to talk about it. He seemed angry, rightfully so as his step-daughter had been at the scene. But so far he seemed to only be angry with the third party in this story rather than with Eric himself. Eric was here to tell his side of the story and offer up any and all information he had on the others involved. In fact, Howard almost seemed pleased with Eric. Perhaps for prioritizing Camille’s safety? Or talking so openly about that night? We may never know. But it didn’t take Howard long to segway back to business as he had a job lined up for Eric as he placed a small brown paper wrapped bundle in his hand, ”This is for our dear mate across town,” a dealer that Howard supplied, ”And this,” he held up a second much smaller package now with a bit of a creepy smirk on the corner of his mouth, ”Is for you.”

What was it? Eric wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know, but Howard was rather insistent and went on to open it for him since Eric wouldn’t take the bag.
”No,” wow, wrong thing to say. Howard’s expression had faltered, ”No thank you. Uhm, I should get going—”
Eric had tried to stand up only to find himself shoved back down onto the chair by the other man who had left his post by the door, ”What’s wrong? You don’t want it? It’s a gift, you deserve it.”
But still Eric refused. He most definitely did not want this. He had spent his entire life not wanting this.
The other man suddenly grabbed his arms with an unexpected vice grip, completely ignoring as Eric’s words changed from polite refusal to desperate pleading for him to stop. His voice had risen, a certain level of fear present as he struggled to free himself, his eyes wide and panicked as he watched Howard prepare it all before expertly pulling back the syringe.
”Yer Mum loved it.”
”No please, please stop—“
“You think yer better than us.”
Howard roughly pulled his right sleeve up over his elbow, ”I’m just trying to help Eric.”
Was this how Howard had gotten to his mother? Got her high enough times for the dependency to kick in and create a loyal worker bee? That’s what Eric wanted to believe at least. There was no way his mother had actually loved this man, right!?

Try as he might, Eric couldn’t get out of the man’s hold, he could only watch on in horror as Howard moved closer and closer until Eric’s head rolled back and his eyes squeezed shut as he felt the pin prick followed by the drug entering his vein. His chin then dropped to his chest as he accepted defeat, his hair falling over his face as the euphoric rush kicked in and he melted into the chair. He knew how this played out, he’d seen it before with his own mother during the last couple years of her life as she slowly lost herself to the drug.

“Well look at you now, apple doesn’t fall far from the tree does it?” Howard’s fingers ran through his hair close to his scalp in such a way that was almost comforting and honestly felt so great. But then without warning his fingers entwined themselves around his hair and tightened into a fist, jerking his head back so they were face to face but Eric couldn’t bring himself to even open his eyes. They just felt so heavy now, everything felt heavy. Physically at least. Mentally he was light as a feather. All his stress and depression had lifted and nothing else mattered to him at that moment. He was perfectly content just sitting there, not even fully comprehending just how hard his hair was being pulled. It should hurt, a lot. But right now nothing hurt, his body was warm, he was without a care in the world and it was truly wonderful.

Howard was close to his ear now looking rather pleased with himself, ”You know I never saw it before, but you really do look just like her.”
Eric should have been fuming with Howard just freely talking about his mother the addict like this when he had been the one to create her. But he couldn’t find it in himself right now to feel much of anything.
”Make sure yer on time tomorrow.”
But Howard’s words met deaf ears as Eric slumped in the chair, unable to support himself without them holding him up.

When Eric next opened his eyes, it was just him and his bag. No signs of Howard or his mate. He was still a little groggy until he caught sight of the envelope on the chair that he had been sitting in last he remembered. How had he ended up on the floor? He felt...fine though. Great actually. Today was going to be a good day. Day? Where there had been early morning sun shining through the windows last he remembered it was now significantly darker. Late afternoon perhaps? He didn’t know what time it was, his watch was...in the car maybe? He couldn’t remember that either but it wasn’t on his wrist when he glanced down to check. When he finally got to his feet and picked up the envelope there was an address scribbled across the front, and it was far. What time was it?

The journey there wasn’t too bad, about an hour walk. The hand off was fine, the drugs in their hand, the money in his and then promptly shoved deep into the front pocket of his pants. But something wasn’t right after he left on his way back to the train station. Eric wasn’t stupid, it wasn’t usually easy to sneak up on him and he should’ve seen the danger coming. But it would be some hours still till the warm happy feelings left, and as such Eric’s senses were dulled to the impending danger leaving him completely vulnerable as he took a blow from behind to the side of his head. His delivery and this assault were unrelated. How did he know that? Because they took his bag and stripped him of his jacket but didn’t bother searching his pants. They weren’t looking for the money, just whatever they could get their hands on. Maybe it was a good thing he hadn’t taken more when he had last visited his car or he really would have nothing left. All he had on his person now was the money in one pocket and his car key in the other; a bruise to the side of his eye and a split lip dripping onto his now dirty and disheveled dress shirt. Eric was on the ground against a stone wall breathing heavily as he stared off in the direction of his muggers. He was in a momentary conflicting state of shock from just losing his bag and everything inside of it, but his high wouldn’t let him feel bad about it, at least not yet and not to the level he should have felt. It sucked, but he was still able to shrug off his loss and get to his feet for the walk back.

The sun was setting fast and taking the temperature with it. Eric’s shirt wasn’t particularly warm, in fact it was a rather silky material and did nothing to protect him from the cold. His arms wrapped around his shivering self in an effort to retain whatever body heat he could. He wiped his running nose with his sleeve, wincing as it brushed across his cut lip and left a small streak of blood on the fabric. By the time he got back to Barking he was freezing. The happy good feels were leaving him and Eric was feeling weaker by the second. It was still fairly early in the evening, maybe dinner time or a little earlier. Dinner time...he hadn’t eaten today, at all, and he felt it as a rush of heat and lightheaded ness hit him outside the church. He had been staying here mostly during the past two weeks, a sort of twisted sense of comfort. This church had been there for him back when he lived in Barking with his mother. And even though he had left and everything had changed, the church still remained; although it was trashed and destroyed, it still stood tall and gave him shelter.

Eric had to stumble through the hole in the fence and then around to a door that wasn’t boarded shut. He was so so cold and being indoors did little to remedy that. It was dark inside as the electricity had been cut off many many years ago. Sometimes there were candles lit inside, or a trash can fire; Eric wasn’t the only one to crash here after all. But tonight there was none of that. Just silence and darkness.
He tripped and slipped several times as he crossed the nave. Pews were out of place, some tipped over. There was trash and broken bottles scattered around and graffiti decorated the walls. He could barely see any of that though as he finally reached a door in the corner behind the altar, it was so dark and his eyes were so heavy, but he was almost there. The door was already open ajar so he just pushed it a little more to grant him enough space to pass through. It opened to a narrow staircase leading upstairs and suddenly Eric hesitated. He had pushed through all this way, but now the thought of climbing these stairs had him weak in the knees. Couldn’t he just stay down here? It certainly was tempting, but no, he couldn’t—he wouldn’t. Eric didn’t like staying down here on the main floor. He had no reason that made sense to anyone but him, but he just couldn’t be down here. He wasn’t allowed to, he didn’t deserve to. No, he belonged hidden away out of sight. He wasn’t good...he had failed everything and everyone including himself. He had no place down here where others would have come to speak to God, ask forgiveness and all that. It was too late for Eric, he knew that, but a part of him still sought for that feeling of security which was what brought him back to this church time and time again.

Up the stairs he finally went to a tiny one room loft area littered with...things. Used candles were on surfaces, various tapestries and drapes on the floor as a sort of makeshift bed. There were a couple books laying out as well along with an assortment of other random objects that came and went with each occupant over the years. Out of breath from climbing the stairs a fit of coughing sent him to the ground as he finally let his legs give out beneath him. He felt awful now, and not just because he was officially sick. There was a feeling of hopelessness setting in. A complete opposite feeling to that perfect euphoria he’d experienced earlier that morning. Nothing had mattered then because he couldn’t feel any of his emotional hardships, now nothing mattered because that was all he could feel. What was the point of it all? Why was he even here? He worked every day for Howard—why? To pay off some debt his mother had dumped on him? Why couldn’t he just opt out of it like she had?

Eric’s mind was traveling to a place as dark as this room as he dropped back to lay down there on the filthy hardwood floor. He was near the wall just inches away from his “bed” but everything just felt so impossible right now. Moving those few inches was just too much for him. A wheeze had settled into his shallow breaths as his partially opened eyes wandered up to the only window in the room. It used to be a gorgeous piece of stained glass, but now...well you could still see that it used to be lovely. But over the years the elements had taken their toll and the windows were covered in mud stains and mildew from England’s ever gray skies. This particular window also had a huge hole in it. Eric wasn’t sure what from, though it had to have been fairly recently as the glass was still evident on the floor below it. The hole was large enough for him to see a good deal of the sky and despite the previous remark about gray skies, tonight was just clear enough for him to see the moon peeking out from behind the clouds. It didn’t do much to illuminate the room but it at least gave him something to look at so he wasn’t just staring off into complete darkness.

He was trembling, it was so, so cold. Or at least, he was cold. Was Lizzie cold? Was it cold tonight or was it just him right now? But his muddled thoughts quickly circled back to Lizzie and how much he missed her. Was she thinking of him too? He had left so suddenly, and after an entire week of back to back days together...it had created this insatiable longing feeling inside of him. Was she missing him too?

“Of course I missed you honey, what sort of silly question is that?”
He was ten years old again, sitting across from his mother at the tiny two seater table in the kitchen with an extravagant dinner of five star restaurant leftovers laid out between them. They couldn’t afford this, Eric knew that perfectly well. He knew where this had come from, ”Come on now, don’t be like that. You know mummy loves you.”
There was a bright smile on her face with a glossy look over dull eyes. She was high. She was always happiest when she was high.
”I hope you’re hungry, I’ve got all your favorites!”
No she didn’t. Eric didn’t like any of this, they were all her favorites. And she was trying to take credit for dinner, but he knew Howard had paid for it all.
”Mum—“
”Ah-ah, no need to thank me,” he wasn’t going to, ”It’s God you should be thanking, now come on.” Eric didn’t want to thank Him either. What good had He done for them anyways?

His mother had reached across the table to take his hand as she began reciting grace, but Eric just stared at the cross necklace around her neck while her eyes were shut. It just didn’t make sense. God wouldn’t do this. He wouldn’t fill his mother with addiction, wasn’t that a sin? Or let her run off with another man out of wedlock; adultery. He wouldn’t have her do those things just to put a nice meal on the table once in a blue moon when all the other nights it was TV dinners or nothing. Why would He put them through such hardship just for this one fancy dinner? It just didn’t add up. This wasn’t God’s doing, this was all thanks to Howard. God had left this family long ago. But Eric knew he would be back at the church come Sunday anyways, because even if God had abandoned him, at least His people wouldn’t. The priest would give him a warm meal and a new pencil to write his stories with. Eric would go and sit in the room above the altar for hours just to have a safe place to escape from his reality.
”Eric?”
She had reached the end of her prayer and said her Amen, her hand squeezed his waiting for him to repeat the word after her but it was caught in his throat.
”Eric.”
She sounded worried now, her grip tightening around his hand but he still couldn’t get out that one final word.

”Eric!”
His eyes slowly opened as Olivia’s voice finally reached him on her third attempt. He could feel a warmth around his hand but right now Eric couldn’t see much of anything. It was still so dark and what he could make out was blurred by his double vision. He wasn’t yet able to process who she was or how she got there. Hell, he wasn’t even entirely sure where he was in that moment. Like he knew it was Olivia, but it hadn’t fully registered in his head that it was her as he relaxed into her touch while his voice finally escaped in the form of a cough. He had began choking on everything that had built up while he was asleep but she was quick to roll him towards her onto his side, her hand gingerly brushing his tangled mess of hair out of his face until he could catch his breath.
When Eric lay back flat again he could make out a second figure beside Olivia. Olivia’s device was on the floor now, casting its light up into the immediate area around them and allowing him to see a little better. This second figure had a light as well, in fact their entire being was like a light to him. Was she...an angel? Maybe he had died—or was dying. Maybe she was coming to take him away and finally free him from all this pain. Again his words failed him, coughing when he tried to speak.
Each breath he took shook almost as much as his body did as his trembling fought to keep warm. Eric weakly reached over until he felt that same warmth from before as she took his hand. If this was what death felt like then he was okay with it. He was ready to go. He would go anywhere with her.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 092318 - 100918-----------❖ LOCATION — outside the hotel-----------❖ COMPANY — olivia
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

“So, are you dating that guy now? The one you’ve been seeing all last week? What’s his name again, Eric?” Anna asked curiously, leaning against the wall across from Lizzie. Sophia was still out in the front of the shop, browsing various design displays.

Lizzie thought this over. After her long and exciting conversation with JKL about her surprise visit to the hotel on Saturday, Eric was all that she could think about. Between that and their kiss last Friday, there had to be something more between them now. Their entire week together proved that they were capable of being something more.

“I’m just saying!” Sophia suddenly chimed in, leaning against the glass display to look over at them. Behind Lizzie, she could hear the heavy footfalls as the tattoo artist prepared his tools. “Isn’t this a little too much over a date week? You’re about to permanently ink yourself over a guy. What if it doesn’t work out in the end?”

“Sophie! Really?” Anna said pointedly.

Sophia simply shrugged her shoulders as if she said nothing wrong. “I’m just saying. Lizzie only went out with this guy for a week. It’s not like they’ve been dating for that long.” Lizzie was suddenly reminded once again just how little Sophia actually knew about Eric. Or, at least, what she actively wanted to know. She knew that Sophia had seen her Insta-stories since they first became friends. It was impossible to not know about Eric. More importantly, it was impossible to not know how obsessed she was over him.

“It’s not like I’m getting his name tattooed on my hand,” Lizzie finally argued with an eyeroll. “But I would like to commemorate the time we spent together. King’s Cross was the first time I truly believed I liked him!”

And so, once the tattoo artist rolled his tools and a stool over to her right side, Lizzie relaxed enough to let her right hand rest on the arm rest and let the man do his thing. Obviously, with the many hand tattoos she already had on her hands, she was no stranger to this experience. She knew exactly what to expect and how to prepare for it. So after some time later - which honestly wasn’t that long - Lizzie followed Anna and Sophia out of the tattoo shop with her right hand wrapped up protectively and a new “9¾” tattoo angrily making its debut to the world. She could not wait to see Eric again. She wondered if he would notice and would understand the meaning behind her new tattoo.

It should also be noted, because she honestly just wanted Sophia to shut up about her skepticism, Lizzie did decide to get a second hand tattoo to go along with “9¾”; the word “lumos” along the side of her hand near her pinky. It wasn’t enough to get Sophia to fully shut up, but at least she had an argument to make it happen.

If Lizzie had to be honest, Tuesday could not come fast enough. Since she returned to the flat after getting her tattoos that Sunday, the flat had been tense. More specifically, Olivia had suddenly started giving her the cold shoulder whenever they crossed paths. At first Lizzie tried to give Olivia the benefit of the doubt; maybe work and school was starting to stress her out. But once she noticed that she wasn’t treating the others in the flat similarly to her, she couldn’t deny it. When she tried to confront Olivia about what her problem was with her, she didn’t say anything in response and just locked herself away in her room for the rest of the day. Suffice it to say, JKL were currently not thrilled about her flatmate and Jade was once again on her damn bandwagon that this all had something to do with Eric.

Unfortunately, when Tuesday finally arrived, Lizzie came home from her internship to an empty flat. Not even a hint of Eric’s presence was found. This definitely disappointed Lizzie. She had imagined the day and the moment when he would notice her new hand tattoos; down to the cute half smile he had on his kissable lips. Guess she would have to wait another day for that reveal. Or maybe she could just bust another mission like last Saturday and surprise him at the hotel. Maybe she could try Thursday. She didn’t start her class until two so she could pop in during his lunch break.

Only, that didn’t work as well. When she dropped by the hotel that Thursday, Eric was nowhere to be found. When she asked a co-worker if he was working today, he said he wasn’t sure and that it was likely he left early again like yesterday. Something about an emergency?

By the end of the week, Lizzie decided to not update JKL on what was going on with her and Eric. Because, honestly, she had no idea. After seeing him almost every day last week, she suddenly went to never saw him this week. She wondered - and secretly hoped - that it was just because he was really busy. After all, she too was behind on school work from spending so much time with him. Yeah, that had to be it. Maybe come next week she’ll see him again. Hopefully.

That following Tuesday, she had plans to go home right after her internship. However, just as she was about to walk to the Tube station, she got a text from Sophia on the group chat inviting her to hang out with the gang for an early dinner. She accepted the invitation, reasoning to herself that she could use the quality time with her friends. There was also a chance that a part of her was dreading coming home and Eric still not being there.

Turns out she was right to hang out with her friends. After Eddie dropped her off later that Tuesday night, she was informed by Ricki that Eric had not made his usual appearance today.

Oddly enough, this comment resulted in Olivia suddenly acknowledging Lizzie’s existence. Apparently she found it weird that Eric still had not dropped by. But as soon as Ricki questioned if that was a problem, Olivia simply shrugged it off and reasoned that he was probably just really busy. After all, rehearsals were starting up again for his theatre troupe. From then on, the tension between Lizzie and Olivia gradually faded. By the weekend, they were back to being more than civil to each other.

And it was a good thing too. On Sunday, Lizzie spent the morning with a heavy feeling in her chest and an incessant need to not leave her bed at all. She had completely ignored eating breakfast; leaving her room only to use the bathroom. It was Olivia that noticed this behavior, coming in to check on her after lunchtime. It took a bit of coaxing, but eventually Olivia found out that Lizzie’s best friend and roommate was celebrating her birthday today; her 21st birthday at that. Lizzie lived in the flat long enough for her English flatmates to understand how much of a big deal this was for Americans. What they didn’t know was that Lizzie and Lacey were supposed to celebrate their 21st birthdays together; it was a best friend thing. It just didn’t occur to Lizzie until that morning that the type of celebrating they had planned out would not be so satisfying. Imagine waking up that morning watching your best friends share a celebratory first legal shot together at midnight in honor of Lacey’s new life as a legally alcohol drinking adult...through a computer screen.

From that moment until the end of that Sunday night, Olivia - along with Ricki - kept Lizzie as fairly occupied as possible. They went out to an Open Mic Night in town then stayed at a local pub until Lizzie was buzzed enough to forget how miserable she was missing her best friend’s important birthday. After that night, it appeared that she and Olivia were once again cool. However, being so deep in her homesickness, she failed to utilize the alcohol to get it out of Olivia why she had been so salty recently. That would remain a mystery into the following week. It was practically swept under the rug.

Once the roller coaster of emotions that Sunday went away, Lizzie suddenly realized that she had no time to dilly dally about over small things. That Monday, it smacked her like a brick that A) she was still very behind on school work and B) this week was the first two-manuscript week at her internship. The pressure was suddenly overwhelming.

It had been hours since Lizzie arrived back at the flat from her internship that Tuesday. And she honestly felt like she got nothing done since. Stress overcame her momentarily as she stared down at the pages she read of this manuscript. Between her school readings, a paper she knew she needed to start soon and her two-manuscripts week, she could not fathom how she was going to do everything in one week without having to sacrifice something to complete another. And honestly, school was looking like the perfect candidate. She could not show her editor that she would not be able to finish reading these two manuscripts by Saturday.

But the manuscript she had cracked open was just unbearably dry. For a fictional novel, it reads like a textbook. How was that even possible?!

A part of her wanted to give up on this book. She was, miraculously, ten chapters in and it felt as if she had gotten nowhere in the story. So far, it was all crazy long chapters of build up with no end in sight. And she made sure to include that in her analysis. In the end, she pushed past her guilt of not finishing the manuscript to focus on useful boring reading: school work.

But just as she made some headway in note taking, she heard the front door open. Her curiosity had her completely ignoring her iPad screen to watch and wait to see who had shown up first. Not that she needed to find out, really. She had been living in the flat for almost two months now and had the daily schedules of her flatmates memorized from the shared Google Calendar.

“Welcome home!” Lizzie greeted Olivia the moment her flatmate came into view at the double doors. However, the bright smile she had on her face faltered as she registered the look on Olivia’s face. “Is something wrong?”

She watched as Olivia tossed her things onto the dining table before moving to take a seat beside her on the couch. The longer her flatmate took to respond, the more concerned Lizzie felt. Why did Olivia look so worried? Was it—“There’s...something I need to ask you…”

“Okay…” Lizzie said slowly. She turned off her iPad and tossed it on top of her manuscripts on the coffee table.

Before she continued, Lizzie watched as Olivia pulled out her phone to look at the screen. Her brow furrowed deeply as she placed it on the coffee table as well. Before it turned off, she briefly noticed that a text screen was open and had a wall of green text bubbles. “Have you...heard from Eric recently?” she finally asked, turning to look directly at her.

Lizzie blinked, unsure how to take that question. Honestly, as much as she missed Eric and a day did not go by when she didn’t think of him, her schedule had been crazy busy since last week that she didn’t realize until now just how much - or how little - she had actually thought about him. Definitely not while she had her nose stuck either in a manuscript or a textbook - erm, ebook - for hours on end; like last weekend. And, honestly, after her disappointment when he failed to return to the flat last week, she forced herself to lower her expectations that she would see him for a while. Whatever was his excuse, she was sure it was a valid one. He just didn’t seem the type to bail after the week they had together.

She returned her gaze to Olivia and slowly shook her head. “No...I haven’t seen him visit the flat either. I tried, like, messaging him a couple times, but he hasn’t responded back. I assumed he’s been busy the past couple weeks? Didn’t he do the same thing that time before I moved in?”

She watched with concern as Olivia let out a deep sigh. Why were none of her responses reassuring her? “Olivia? What’s going on? Did you ask the others? Maybe Angel saw him here? He’s been doing a lot of work from home lately to prepare for his business trip.”

Olivia let out another sigh. “I doubt it…” she said in a low voice. Lizzie watched as she once again grabbed her phone to look at what she could assume was the same text screen from earlier. Even if she hadn’t caught sight of the contact name at the top, with this new bit of information, she could only assume that she was probably trying to reach Eric. “Do you have his number?” Lizzie once again shook her head and explained that exchanging phone numbers never came up whenever they hung out; that they just sort of fell into the habit of messaging each other through DM on Instagram.

Lizzie heard Olivia mutter some swear words under her breath as she stood up and walked over to the kitchen. She watched as her flatmate grabbed a water bottle from the refrigerator, twist off the cap then took a long swig. By the time she pulled the bottle away from her lips, it was only half full. Then, Olivia quietly looked over at her before returning her gaze back to the shelf of water bottles in the refrigerator.

“I know you’re swamped with school and work this week, but are you too busy to go somewhere with me right now?” Olivia suddenly asked as she grabbed three more water bottles.

Without a follow up explanation, Lizzie was left sitting on the couch contemplating what this request could really mean. Olivia just said it herself; Lizzie was busy with school and work this week. And the pile of manuscripts, notebooks and her iPad on the coffee table only confirmed it. She wondered to herself if her flatmate asked her this question because it was important. However, just by the very worried look on her face, she knew she could answer that question with a definite yes.

Before Lizzie could finally open her mouth to answer, Olivia cut in with, “I’ll...explain what I can on the way, but I would really appreciate it if you would say yes. I...don’t think I can ask anyone else to help me…”

It was watching as the worry on Olivia’s face deepened that made it impossible for Lizzie to say anything but yes. When she said that she would go, that was the first time she caught a sigh of relief from her flatmate. Olivia grabbed her bag and instructed Lizzie to get ready to leave in five minutes. As she picked up her things and walked back into her bedroom, she overheard Olivia also instruct her to dress comfortably and to wear warm clothes.

What could that mean? Where exactly were they going?

When she returned to the common room, Lizzie changed out of her home clothes and into a pair of jeans and a thermal long sleeve. She hung her purse off one arm as the other was busy tugging her oversized sweater over her head to complete the “warm” look. As she got the other arm through the long sleeve, she watched as Olivia packed the water bottles she pulled from the refrigerator earlier into a larger bag. A quick glance into the bag before Olivia closed it revealed that she also packed what looked like a blanket. Lizzie wordlessly followed Olivia out of the flat where her car was waiting out front.

Some minutes later and now in the car, Olivia angrily blew her car horn at a car that just overtook them. Lizzie jumped in the passenger seat. Her hand instinctively grasped the side door and she had to duck her head down to let her heart slow down. When she chanced a look at the dashboard clock, she read that it was almost eight. That meant there would be a lot of traffic around Central London. Even if she knew the public transportation commute by heart, she had been in enough car rides to recognize enough landmarks to figure out they were on the way to the area around the university.

“Olivia?” Lizzie finally found the courage to say. Dropping her hand back onto her lap, she avoided looking at the road to face her flatmate. “Can you please explain to me what exactly is going on? What’s wrong with Eric?” she asked quickly, ignoring the shakiness in her voice at the second question.

Olivia didn’t answer immediately. Instead she focused intently on the red light, staring ice picks at it while her fingers drummed against the steering wheel impatiently. “Olivia…please,” Lizzie tried again. “We’ve been driving for almost ten minutes now and you haven’t told me anything abo--”

“I don’t know what to tell you, okay?!” Olivia suddenly snapped. Lizzie felt her heart punch against her chest at the outburst. Her hands, still resting on her lap, suddenly grasped together tightly. Her stomach turned and she felt nauseous.

A second later, Olivia realized what she said and let out a sigh. “Sorry…” she said. Lizzie looked up to face her again. She watched as her flatmate kept her eyes focused on the road, but she could also see how tightly she clenched the steering wheel. “I just...I don’t…”

“Look,” Lizzie tried again, taking a glance at the front as they took a right turn. “Why am I here? What’s going on?”

She watched as Olivia took a deep breath, glanced at her mirrors then took another turn. They drove in silence for a couple blocks. Then, Olivia finally spoke, saying, “I don’t know what to tell you...without...betraying his trust?” She paused as she slowed to a stop at another light. “I can tell Eric hasn’t been...honest with you…”

“What do you mean?” Lizzie asked slowly. Her hands gripped tighter to the point that she could feel her nails digging into her palms.

They drove in silence for another five minutes as Olivia appeared to be mulling over this question - and the entire conversation - in her head. Lizzie grew more anxious in the car. It was just unbearably quiet in the small space; Olivia was too anxious herself to be bothered to turn on the radio.

As more familiar streets came into view, they slowed to another stop where a long line of cars waited for the light to turn green. Lizzie heard Olivia sigh again. She turned her head to look at her, catching her rest her elbow against the window then resting her head on her knuckles. Not once did Olivia turn to look back at her. In fact, it was almost as if she was trying to avoid eye contact as she said, “Eric’s homeless.”

Of all the things to imagine to come out of her flatmate’s mouth, that honestly was not one of them. Lizzie was dumbstruck to silence, mouth agape and unable to think of a single word to say in response.

“We...told the others that he sleeps on the couch because his own place is too far from the hotel…” Yes, Lizzie was well aware of that. “But that’s not true. Most times he does find a couch to sleep on when he’s not at the flat. But other times...he can be stubborn. Other times he sleeps in his car.” His...car?

Was that where they were going now? Did Olivia know where it was located? “How long has this been going on?” Lizzie asked hesitantly, clearing her voice when it cracked a bit.

“A few years, I guess…” Olivia said in a flat tone. Lizzie recognized the tone. Having grown up with four sisters, she knew when she wasn’t being told the entire truth. Not that she thought Olivia was lying. She could tell she was withholding information. “But he’s been doing better since he started staying at the flat.”

Even with such little information she managed out of Olivia, this was a lot to take in for Lizzie. Sitting in the car now, she couldn’t piece her thoughts together. And her emotions were just an absolute mess.

Lizzie quietly watched as Olivia suddenly pulled over to the side of the road beside a parked car. It was definitely some decades older than the other parked cars around the area. But it also didn’t look too out of place. Olivia put her car in park and turned on the hazard lights. After a couple cars drove around them, she pushed her door open and ran around the front. Lizzie quickly followed suit when she watched Olivia bend over to peek through the window. That had to mean this was Eric’s car? But, wait, didn’t that mean he’s been around? As she finally walked over to the beat up old car, she watched as Olivia walked around it looking intently into the other windows. The lines on her forehead deepened and she stood up looking more worried than earlier. From where she stood, Lizzie looked into the car herself; however unsure she was about what to look for. It didn’t look like Eric was in the car. It just looked...like a cluttered mess. Random pieces of clothing, a messy stack of notebooks and...was that his guitar? Was everything in the car all that Eric owned?

Just as she was about to look in the front, she heard a gasp. “Fuck….” Lizzie heard Olivia mutter under her breath as she went around the car to stand next to her. Even if she tried to hide it quickly, Lizzie caught what could only be defined as fear on her flatmate’s face. “It doesn’t look like he’s been around here lately.” Olivia ran a hand through her hair, looking from one end of the street to the other. After a moment of silence, Olivia once more urged Lizzie to follow her.

“How did you know where to find his car?” Lizzie asked after they climbed back into the car.

“I didn’t. He usually parks his car along the commute between the hotel and the flat. This street is one of the few that isn’t metered or permitted or timed since there is a local park nearby. Honestly, this was a lucky break. I wasn’t expecting it to even be here at all…” Olivia explained as she pulled out her phone once more. She hastily typed a text message before turning off her hazard lights to pull into traffic again. Lizzie noticed that she drove a little slower than the rest of traffic while constantly looking down at her phone currently resting on her lap. When it looked like she finally got the response she was waiting for, she slowed to a crawl to quickly read the text. Lizzie watched her nod to herself then toss her phone on the dashboard before turning onto another street.

Another ten or so minutes later, Olivia pulled into a vacant spot. When Lizzie craned her head over the dashboard, she noticed that it was marked as a loading zone. After turning on the hazard lights again, she faintly heard Olivia mention that she would be right back then stepped out of the car. She kept her eyes on her flatmate as she ran around the front of the car toward the entrance to what appeared to be a restaurant. Or maybe it was a bar? Through the window, she saw Olivia rush over to a specific table where a slightly large group of people all looked up around the same time when she entered. Since she was in the car still, Lizzie could only watch helplessly as Olivia spoke quickly with the group.

But as quickly as they arrived at the place, Olivia waved to the group then rushed out of the establishment to return to the car. Lizzie watched as she tugged at her seatbelt - a little too quickly that it abruptly stopped - then shifted back into drive to pull into traffic. “That was Eric’s theatre troupe. They said that he hasn’t been to rehearsals since before their break.”

Lizzie wanted to ask more questions about Eric’s situation. But, honestly, she couldn’t even figure out which question to ask first. How long has he been homeless? He had a full time job, how could be homeless? What the hell happened? Lizzie’s head was starting to hurt. It was all too much for her. How could he do this? How could he keep such an important bit of his life from her? She thought...she thought they were doing good. She thought they were getting somewhere. She thought he was finally letting her in.

After all, Olivia wouldn’t have asked her to tag along on this search if she didn’t think they were actually something...even if that something was not defined in any sense of the term.

After their first stop to talk to Eric’s theatre group, Olivia drove them to another part of the city where two of Eric’s other troupe members lived. According to Olivia, these guys were the other couches that Eric slept on during the nights rehearsals were held. That definitely explained to Lizzie why he never came to the flat on those nights. This time around, Lizzie went with her to those flats. They didn’t stay long and remained at the front doors as Olivia did the talking. At both locations, Eric’s fellow theatre troupe members told them basically the same thing that Olivia heard from the others; they hadn’t seen nor heard from him since before the break. This was not something both women wanted to hear. Lizzie was gradually mirroring the anxiety Olivia must be feeling since before they left the flat.

“If you hear from him, let me know?” Olivia asked both members before they left. Thankfully, both agreed to do that.

“We should try the hotel next…” Olivia reasoned when they returned to the car.

Lizzie gave her flatmate a look as she dropped her purse on the floor of the passenger seat. “But, it’s Tuesday. Isn’t he off today?” she asked curiously. A moment later, she added, “Wait...you haven’t checked the hotel?”

“I wanted to, but I thought since you two were becoming a thing that maybe you knew something I didn’t,” Olivia replied quickly as she turned on her car once more and pulled out onto the road.

Lizzie scoffed. “You apparently put too much faith in me. I didn’t even know he’s been basically missing until you said something. He goes radio silent for two weeks and I think that’s normal! You are more likely to know about his whereabouts than me.”

“Lizzie,” Olivia sighed, “Stop it. You didn’t know. And, really, I didn’t make that much of an effort to try to know in the beginning.” Lizzie looked at Olivia, confused. “We had an argument and it wasn’t resolved. Look, the only reason I knew something was wrong is because of you.”

Lizzie looked over at Olivia again. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, don’t be thick!” Olivia snapped as she turned onto another street before the light turned red. “He’s been coming to the flat more often lately and it’s almost always to spend time with you. The times I’ve actually seen him eat recently is when he’s eating with you. Before it was like pulling teeth trying to get him to eat something. Or I would have to buy food for him. I can’t believe I was too worried over the other shit to not be thankful for that.”

“So...how did you know then? That something was wrong,” Lizzie asked.

Olivia once again didn’t answer right away. “No updates,” she said simply. “He’s terrible at communication, but at least he updates me on how he’s doing when he can at work. Even if we’re going through things, he’ll give me something. Not to mention he went from being at the flat every day that week after you two had your talk. Then, all of a sudden, he just stopped coming around. That first week, I thought the same as you. ‘Maybe he’s just really busy.’ Or...maybe he was just upset at me and you two just hung out outside the flat.” Suddenly, Olivia stopped and when Lizzie turned to look at her, she saw that her face hardened. Her jaw clenched as if she stopped herself from continuing. In that moment, Lizzie thought that maybe she saw something outside. Or someone? She quickly returned her gaze to the front in an attempt to follow her line of vision. But she saw nothing but the bright red lights from cars braking.

“It’s just weird. Even without noticing he’s been radio silent, he’s been coming to the flat more often recently than the last two years. And it’s because of you,” Olivia finally said. “It’s obvious how much he fancies you. So it doesn’t make sense.”

Lizzie really wanted to ask the burning question; the one that has been boiling up inside her since Olivia first told her about Eric’s actual living arrangements. What happened that put Eric in his situation? How is he homeless when he works the most out of everyone in the flat? Even Angel’s job looks like a cushy one compared to Eric’s work hours. How is he not able to afford paying for his own place?

But as she once again mulled over these questions to find the courage to ask them, Lizzie looked up in time to watch as Olivia pulled into the street of the hotel. She kept her eyes peeled for any free spots on the curb that Olivia could park in. Given what time it was, she was nervous that they wouldn’t have that much luck.

They found a spot the next street over. Rushing back toward the hotel, Lizzie was once again jogging to keep up with Olivia’s pace. When she finally caught up with her at the stop light, she caught Olivia practically smashing the crosswalk button in an attempt to make the red light turn green faster. In the end, however, Olivia threw caution to the wind and booked it before another car drove past. Lizzie was left shocked and holding her breath hoping her flatmate wouldn’t get run over.

Lizzie waited until the light turned green and it was safe to cross. When she finally arrived at the hotel, she found Olivia talking to a woman roughly their age currently stationed at the concierge desk. She wondered if she should go over to them and join the conversation. But as she took a step inside, she realized that she should probably stop being a tag along and actually help. So she took a turn to the left and walked over to the bar inside the restaurant. The last time she saw Eric, he had been working as a bartender. Maybe someone there knew something.

“There you are!” Olivia cried out as Lizzie walked out of the restaurant. “His co-worker said that she hasn’t seen him at work recently. Did you find out anything?”

Lizzie shook her head as she stowed her phone into her back pocket. “The guy at the bar basically said the same….”

As they walked out of the hotel toward the stop light, Olivia let out a frustrated groan. Lizzie once again watched quietly, intimidated to ask anything for fear that it would be the wrong move. But as they waited for the light to turn green - she was relieved that Olivia decided to wait this time around - Lizzie plucked up the courage to ask, “So...what do we do now?”

“It’s getting late…” Olivia said as she looked down at her watch. “I, um, have one more place to check, but it’s going to be a bit of a drive. I can take you back to the flat, if you want.”

Lizzie looked up at her flatmate with wide eyes. For a moment she felt her heart sink thinking that Olivia would even consider for a moment that time would make her quit this search. She was just as worried about Eric for Christ’s sake. Considering Olivia still would not give her any context as to why he was missing in the first place, it only made her more worried and motivated to find him.

She was just about to go off on Olivia when she was cut off by, “I’ll understand, you know. If you want out of this. All of it. I know you didn’t sign up for any of this when you and Eric became...whatever you two are; when you two had that talk.” This left Lizzie stunned silent. She knew, deep down, that there was more to that statement than being a part of this two women search team.

“Olivia, don’t be an idiot.” Lizzie watched as the light finally turned green then stepped off the curb to walk across. “We’re going to find him. No matter how long it takes.” ​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 101018-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

The address on Olivia’s phone read that they were going to some place called Barking. With the current traffic finally dwindling to a tolerable amount, Google Maps estimates that they would reach their destination in about an hour. Lizzie stared intently at the dashboard clock, wishing that it didn’t read half past eight. The temperature outside started dropping after they returned to Olivia’s car from the hotel. As they pulled onto the road they would be driving for the next twenty miles, she hoped and prayed that Eric was at least keeping himself warm...somewhere.

The two women drove in silence once again. Because it would be a long drive, Olivia had attempted to put on music to fill the silence, but had ultimately been too impatient with the radio and Spotify to bother keeping it on. During the quiet time, Lizzie heard Olivia’s words repeat itself in her head. I’ll understand, you know, if you want out of this. The more it repeated itself in her head, the more she felt her body shake with some feeling she couldn’t quite explain. Was she annoyed that Olivia thought so little of her? That she thought she would just...abandon Eric like that? And for what? She didn’t even know what “this” is all about.

Lizzie took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She loosened the grip of her hands. There was still about forty minutes of this drive left, she didn’t want to spend all of it on edge and angry. So she focused on something else; Olivia.

Now that they were forced to be in the same car for longer than ten to twenty minute intervals, Lizzie found the time to just watch Olivia. She noticed that with each stop they made earlier, her grip on the steering wheel tightened more and more. Now, with their destination the farthest they’re traveling, her knuckles were practically white and glowing under the clear evening sky. She wondered once again exactly how worried Olivia really was right now. What exactly did she know? On the surface, she tried to keep a calm face, but every so often there would be a small facial tic that told her it was more than that. She wondered just how much history Eric and Olivia had together in regards to his apparent homelessness and whatever situation it was that he was and is in. If she was on the same page as her flatmate, maybe she would understand exactly how she was feeling right now as opposed to worrying that she spent more time confused and frustrated over how little she knew herself.

Lizzie sighed, adjusting her position on the passenger seat so that she was sitting more upright. “Olivia, can I ask you something?” she asked cautiously. She watched as Olivia tensed slightly while keeping her eyes focused on the road.

After a moment, Olivia simply nodded in response. “Why did you stay? Why do you do this?” she asked.

It felt like ages as they sat in silence once again. Lizzie could tell that Olivia was really taking this question into consideration. Finally, after a deep breath, she responded with, “Because I would hate myself if I ever thought about abandoning him while he was at his lowest...when he was there during mine.” Lizzie didn’t say anything to that. There was a heaviness to that response that kept her from saying something for fear that it would be the wrong thing to say. So she just kept looking at her, waiting for her to continue.

“We have been friends since we were kids, I’m sure you already know that. We basically grew up together. He and his mum lived in the same neighborhood as my family. So while his mum was out, he spent a lot of time at my place. About twice a week, sometimes more, my family had him over for dinner just so he wouldn’t be alone during the evenings.” Olivia paused, finally loosening her grip on the steering wheel enough that she could relax in her seat.

After a deep sigh, she continued. “As we got older, you can probably guess that my family was predicting the day we would stop being just friends and start dating. After all, we were practically attached at the hip. But, obviously, that never happened. I liked someone else at the time who was in a completely different category as him. But I...couldn’t tell my family about it; or anyone really. Except him….”

Lizzie listened closely. She knew that Olivia and Eric had been friends for a long time; everyone in the flat knew that. But she never knew, until now, just how deep their friendship really was. Whatever they didn’t tell her, she picked up from watching them whenever they hung out. There was no denying that they had a history together; a long history that strengthened their bond over time. It was that very bond that sometimes made Lizzie jealous of Olivia.

“Back then, I struggled over coming to terms with who I am. I was terrified of what people would think of me. But Eric...he was my only support system through it all. He understood. If it weren’t for him, I don’t know how I would have survived the aftermath when I finally came out. He was my shoulder to cry on when it got tough.” Olivia paused again when both her phone and Lizzie’s phone vibrated at the same time. Lizzie pulled her phone from under her leg and skimmed the text message Angel sent asking where they were. Since Olivia was driving, Lizzie took on the task of briefly explaining that they were out together and they would be back at the flat soon.

Once the message was sent, Olivia continued. “How do you repay someone for being your rock during your lowest point? Eric has always been...stubborn. He always...suffered on his own just so that he wouldn’t burden others. I don’t think I need to tell you how much he hates feeling like a burden.” Olivia went on to recall how as a kid, her parents always threw her big birthday parties. Eric, apparently, had only come to one in the many years they were friends despite having been invited every year. When Lizzie asked why, Olivia responded that she assumed it was because he felt out of place. She went on to explain that when she found out his birthday, he had come home with a single cupcake to share with his mother. Only, she never came home. Lizzie’s heart sank to her stomach.

“I was just like you a few years back. I had…no idea of Eric’s situation. He just never told anyone. Just, out of nowhere, he stopped going to school and I rarely heard from him.” Olivia let out a deep sigh, rubbing her eyes gently. Lizzie wished at that moment she could help her flatmate. Poor thing’s been driving them around for hours. “Then, two years ago, I came across him by chance really. That’s when I found out what he was really going through. There was no way I could let him go back to struggling the way he did. So here we are...driving late at night looking for that git.”

“What happened?” Lizzie finally asked. As informative as this conversation was, she felt as if there was a key point that Olivia was leaving out. “Eric does nothing but work. Why…” She had absolutely no idea how to properly phrase the next question she wanted to ask.

Olivia sighed again. “Listen, Lizzie,” she started slowly. She paused a moment to eye Google Maps on their progress. They were more than halfway to their destination now. “I love Eric. He’s my best friend. He’s like a brother to me. And it would probably ruin everything if I answered that question truthfully. I shouldn’t have even told you about him being homeless. So I think it would be best if you let him tell you when he’s ready. You’re already doing a lot for him being here.”

Lizzie nodded. She should have seen that coming. But what was there to do now? The questions just kept forming in her head and she wanted nothing more than to ask all of them. Olivia was right though, it just didn’t seem right for her to tell Eric’s story when it was his own story to tell; whenever it was he wanted to tell it, if he wanted to tell it.

“Well...we still have twenty more minutes left until we arrive at...wherever you’re taking us. Will telling some stories from when you two were growing up help you feel better?” She heard Olivia let out a small laugh.

It was around half past nine when Olivia finally pulled over at their destination. Lizzie stared up at the apartment buildings on either side of them, wondering which one they were going to. It was too dark outside to see the numbers. “Olivia, where are we?” she asked.

“This is the neighborhood where we grew up. We lived in the row of houses the next street over though,” Olivia answered as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “Come on. It’s better if you don’t stay in the car at this time.” Lizzie gave her a look then got out of the car as well.

She followed Olivia to the apartment building directly beside the car. Honestly, she was kind of nervous over what to expect from this stop. Would they even find Eric here? Both him and Olivia lived in London now. Why would he come back to the place he grew up? Olivia had mentioned something about his mother during the drive here. Was he staying with her? Did Olivia drive all this way as an act of reassurance that he was at least somewhere safe, if not at the flat?

The thing that Lizzie noticed immediately was that Olivia was careful and cautious. As she kept up behind her, she watched as Olivia constantly looked around them as if watching for something. Or maybe looking for someone? When she caught Olivia’s face in the light, she saw what looked like a mix of worry and fear on her face. What would Olivia be afraid of being here?

Olivia led them around the apartment building through a path that led to a back entrance. Again, Lizzie was confused by all of this. It was as if they were in the process of sneaking inside like she wasn’t allowed to be on the premises. She watched with bated breath as Olivia slowly opened the back entrance door. Everything happening right now - especially in the darkness - made it feel as if they were going to walk into some kind of horror movie or something. Lizzie was half expecting some serial killer to be waiting for them on the other side.

What awaited them was a dimly lit hallway that smelled strongly of stale cigarette smoke. Lizzie stuck her head in to get a better look into the hallway while Olivia scoped their surroundings as if to check if the coast was clear. She was just staring at a large garbage bag leaning against the wall of one apartment when she heard Olivia shuffle inside. She was then beckoned to hurry inside before anyone realized the door was open.

“Are we...not allowed to be here or something?” Lizzie asked curiously, keeping her voice at a whisper. With the way they were walking about the apartment building, whispering seemed like the appropriate volume.

“What?” Olivia said absentmindedly. “Oh, yeah, sure we are. It’s just better if we get in and out of here with as few people knowing as possible.”

“And why’s that?”

“It’s just better that way...for all of us…” That wasn’t really reassuring, but okay.

Lizzie focused mostly on Olivia’s slender back, trying her best not to closely examine everything that they passed. It wasn’t that she was grossed out or anything. She was more concerned over losing her flatmate if she so much as looked away for a second.

Six doors from the back entrance, Olivia finally stopped in front of a door with only the number 1 hanging to the side and the outline of the other two numbers. Lizzie watched as Olivia paused for a moment to simply stare at the door. After taking a deep breath, she knocked. There was silence between the two of them with only the faintest sound of what could only be assumed as rock music blasting from another apartment.

A moment later, the door opened slightly and a mop of white hair poked out.

“Hi, Mrs. Jennings,” Olivia greeted, her voice a forced calm. “It’s been a while.”

Lizzie watched as the older woman looked Olivia up and down for a moment as if to figure out how she knew her. It didn’t take long for the look of recognition to appear. “Oh!” exclaimed the woman. Lizzie watched Olivia stiffen for a second, turning her head to the right to look down the hallway. When she followed suit, she didn’t see anyone join them. “Hello, Olivia. I almost did not recognize you. How are your parents? Your sister?”

“They’re well, thank you.” Lizzie could tell that Olivia was growing impatient. “I hope you don’t mind, Mrs. Jennings, but I wanted to ask you something.”

There was a pause as Mrs. Jennings seemed to mull this over. “Yes, my dear?“

“Has Eric been around recently?” Olivia asked point blankly.

“Eric? Well, yes, I have seen him more than usual…” Mrs. Jennings trailed off, her expression appearing as if she was once again deep in thought over something. Lizzie processed this information. Eric visits often. And apparently he has been coming more often recently. Well, that should be a good thing, right?

“Was he here today?” Olivia questioned further.

“Oh, I don’t know about today, dear. Bibble has been having some terrible indigestion all week so I had to take him to the vet.” The old woman once again trailed off her sentence. “Although, the other day I did see him at that little park you two used to play at.”

Lizzie heard Olivia let out what seems like a sigh of relief. Was this piece of information some kind of breakthrough? But what the old woman said basically told them that he wasn’t even in this apartment building. What did Olivia know??

“Thank you so much. I appreciate the help,” Olivia said with a small smile. “Listen, Mrs. Jennings, I would also appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone that we were here? Especially Howard.” Who was Howard? Mrs. Jennings offered a similar look of confusion that Lizzie had on her own face, but ultimately promised not to say a word before the two women exchanged farewells. As the old woman closed the door, it occurred to Lizzie that she probably wasn’t aware that she had been there this whole time.

“Okay...so...was any of that useful?” Lizzie asked nervously. Between her anxious worrying and frustrating fear, she could no longer hide how much she was actually shaking right now. It just seemed like every stop they took only made her feel more worried that they were getting nowhere in finding Eric. What made it worse was that Olivia still failed to fully clue her in on whatever the fuck she was thinking.

“I hope so, Lizzie. I hope so,” was all Olivia said before she commented that they should leave now before anyone else saw them. Was she referring specifically to this Howard guy?

After some more “sneaking” around the apartment building, the two returned to Olivia’s car without bumping into anyone. “Okay, where are we going now?” Lizzie asked as she buckled her seatbelt.

“Um,” Olivia muttered as she turned the key in the ignition. After looking at her side mirror, she pulled out of her parking spot and onto the road. “Mrs. Jennings - the old lady I spoke to - mentioned a park. There’s one nearby that me and Eric used to play in when we were kids. It doesn’t hurt to start there, just in case. But there is one place I...feel he might be staying in if he’s been lingering around Barking this whole time.”

“Do you think we’ll be able to find him tonight?” Although she asked the question, Lizzie was honestly terrified to hear the answer. Her mind was just spinning with every worst case scenario imaginable.

“We have to, Lizzie…” Olivia said softly as she turned onto another street.

A few minutes away from the apartment building, Olivia pulled over to the curb across from what looked like a park from their distance. There wasn’t much light for Lizzie to be able to make out much. But with what little light she had from her distance, she scoped out every inch in the hopes that there would be any sign of Eric. Even if it meant finding him sleeping on a park bench.

“Come on,” Olivia said as she pushed open her door. “Don’t go far, okay? It’s getting too late for us to get separated.”

Lizzie ran behind Olivia as they walked onto the park. She pulled out her phone to use as a flashlight. But there just wasn’t any sign of Eric anywhere. “Olivia! It’s after ten. What the hell would Eric be doing at a park this late?”

They regrouped under one of the brighter lamp posts. Lizzie waited as Olivia took one more look around their immediate surroundings before letting out a frustrated sigh. “Right, he’s not here.” She turned her head in another direction as if he would suddenly appear. “There is this, um, church we used to hang around. He spent a lot of time there when it was still open. As far as I’m aware, it’s basically abandoned now, but if he’s been hanging around here for the past couple or so weeks, I can...bet my money he’s been staying there.”

Lizzie’s eyes were wide with shock. “An abandoned church?! Why would he stay there?!”

Olivia finally stopped her searching to look down at her. “Honestly? The truth?”

Lizzie nodded. “The truth.”

“Because being back here, anything would be better going back to his old home. Anything.” Olivia sighed as she turned off her phone and made her way back to the car. “Let’s go.”

This abandoned church was not very far from the park. Olivia drove for a couple or so minutes before she pulled over once again. As soon as she yanked her keys out of the ignition, Olivia was already out of the car. If she hadn’t heard the passenger door close, she probably would have abandoned Lizzie in a heartbeat. Lizzie didn’t even question it when Olivia suddenly started running to the church. She never hesitated once as she went round to the side of the church. However long it had been since she last visited this place, it was as if no time had gone by the way she expertly found a way inside; a side entrance with a busted lock.

The inside of the church was just as rundown as it appeared outside. The amount of dust that was floating around had her instantly coughing to the point that she needed to put a hand over her mouth and nose to prevent more from being inhaled. There was trash everywhere and other useless objects that had obviously been abandoned from whenever it had been left behind. Lizzie was left standing there stunned and with more questions.

But she didn’t have time to ask any of them as Olivia wordlessly started off again. If she had confidence getting them inside, being inside was another story. Just like at the park, Olivia was constantly turning from one direction to the next trying to scope every nook and cranny for any possible sign of Eric. Lizzie could feel it radiating from her flatmate; she was desperate. And the more they ran from one spot to the next, Lizzie was gradually reaching that same level.

They had gone this far in their search. They had to find him.

Her phone was practically shaking in her hands. But she focused the light wherever her eyes went. In the distance some yards away, Olivia led the charge. Meanwhile, Lizzie stuck behind in case her flatmate had missed something in her haste.

She had just peeked around a corner when she heard Olivia gasp from somewhere at the top of the stairs leading to the overhead section.

“Eric? Eric!” Almost immediately, Olivia was out of sight. Lizzie’s eyes went wide again and she sprinted toward where Olivia last stood. Her line of vision caught the light of Olivia’s cellphone and she immediately followed it. In-between Olivia’s swaying arm, Lizzie caught what the light was directly facing. And it made her heart sink.

Everything after Olivia’s outburst was a complete blur. All Lizzie remembered was running up the stairs two at a time until she reached a corner of the overhead level and the next she collapsed onto her knees to wrap her arms around Eric. Her surroundings faded away as relief sunk in. They had done it. They had found him.

There was a hard tug against her as she felt Olivia grab Eric securely to help him sit up against the wall behind him. She loosened her embrace to help him, realizing just then that he was shivering. Through the limited sources of light in the space, she saw that Eric was wearing the thinnest of layers of clothing. Where was his jacket?

“Hang on, I’ll go get the blanket. Lizzie, can you stay with him?” Even though Olivia was right next to her, her voice felt so distant. Without once taking her eyes off him, Lizzie nodded. She felt a slight shake and then heard retreating footsteps. Seconds later, it was silence. It was only the two of them.

“Eric?” she said in a whisper. The situation just felt so delicate she feared that one wrong move would make everything around her crumble and disappear.

She reached out to him again, combing his hair out of his face. It had grown longer - or maybe it was always this length and she just forgot - and felt as if it hadn’t been washed in days. As she looked closely at his face, she feared that his pale complexion was not the effect of the light from her phone. And...was that a bruise...or just a shadow from the light?

“Thank God we found you…” she whispered, leaning forward to press her lips tenderly against his forehead. Then she did it again. And again. And again. This was the first time she had kissed him in two weeks. Their kiss on the couch felt like a whole other lifetime ago.

Pulling away, Lizzie once more took a look at him. Her chest felt heavy with guilt and regret. How could she not have known that he had gone missing for this long? Why did it take Olivia saying something for her to realize something was wrong with Eric? She was supposed to care for him. How did she not see when something was off about him?

Lizzie cupped a hand on the side of his face, a frown forming as she felt him continue to shiver against her touch. “Oh, Eric…. Baby, you’re freezing…” Lizzie panicked, wishing that Olivia would hurry up with the blanket.

She didn’t even think over her next move. After she made sure he was sitting fine against the wall, she pulled away far enough so that she could tug off her oversized sweater. As she pulled it off over her head, she felt a breeze against her back and it caused a shiver to run down her spine. But she didn’t care. She hoped that the body warmth from the sweater would help even a little.

“Here, put this on,” she told him, crumpling up the sweater so that she could tug it over his head. “Give me your arm…” She took his hand and guided it into the sleeve until his hand appeared. “Okay, now the other…” She reached around for his other hand to put it into the other sleeve. She had just straightened the oversized sweater - which was now just a sweater on him - when she heard running footsteps approaching them.

Next thing she knew, Olivia was unfolding the blanket to drape around Eric. There was a soft clunk beside her and she noticed then that Olivia had also brought her bag. Immediately she dug into it to grab a water bottle. After twisting the cap off, she carefully handed it to Eric, urging him to drink slowly. “Did you bring him anything to eat?” she asked Olivia.

“I did, but let’s get him to the car first,” Olivia responded as she gave him a look over. “Eric, come on, we need to get you up on your feet. You’re going to have to help us a bit.” After Olivia shouldered her bag, she gave Lizzie a “ready?” look.

Lizzie quickly picked up her phone and held it as tightly as possible. With a nod, she moved to Eric’s side and raised his arm over her so that it rested on her shoulders. Olivia gave a firm, steady count to three. After “three” the two girls lifted up to their feet. For a moment, Lizzie pushed through the weight pressing down on her until it disappeared slightly. She looked up at Eric, concerned. Please let him be okay.

“Come on, let’s get you home…” Lizzie turned to look at Olivia, who kept a close eye on Eric as they started to walk out of the room. She recalled the first time she had overheard her flatmate propose to Eric that he move into the flat instead of constantly crashing there whenever he pleased. It happened during the evening Lizzie asked him to come over after their impromptu date to the museum. Back then, the conversation had such a strange vibe to it that she could never put her finger on. Now, as they helped Eric out of this abandoned church, she understood.

“Lizzie, could you open the door please?” Olivia instructed as soon as they got Eric through the loose fence. “I think I got him…”

Lizzie nodded, taking the car keys from Olivia to unlock the car. After she opened the door wide to the backseat, she watched as Olivia guided the still weak Eric closer. She immediately offered her help once they were only a few feet from the car, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist to help him get inside. She placed a hand on top of his head to prevent him from getting hurt as he got in.

“Here,” Olivia said, handing Lizzie the blanket. It fell off Eric while they were getting him through the fence. “D’you mind staying with him in the back? Keep a close eye on him while we drive back?” Lizzie was quick to agree, going around the car to enter from the other side. As soon as she was in the car with Eric, she wrapped the blanket around him once again while Olivia started up the car. As Olivia pulled back onto the street, she scooted closer to him, pulling him closer so that he rested against her.

“Olivia, I think Eric is getting sick or something. He feels like he’s burning up. And he hasn’t stopped coughing since we left the church…” she explained as they pulled into the motorway. Eric had completely abandoned sitting upright in the car, now laying across the backseat with his head resting on Lizzie’s lap. Despite the sweater and the blanket, she would catch him in the midst of a shiver. She quickly adapted the habit of rubbing his arm or back in an attempt to keep him warm. When she wasn’t doing that, she would brush a comforting hand through his hair so that maybe he could just sleep through the rest of the drive.

Olivia devised a plan. Before going back to the flat, they would pass by the store to pick up some cold medicine for Eric. Lizzie also suggested that they get Lucozade as well in case he was dehydrated; she learned that they didn’t have Gatorade in the UK after one of her morning swims. By the time they arrived back near Boundary, they had a full shopping list planned out.

While Olivia went into the store to get everything on their list, Lizzie remained in the car with Eric. Now that they were no longer moving and sitting in silence, she was basically forced to face the reality of the situation. It was hard to deny what was going on right now. They found him near the point of passed out in an abandoned church, practically freezing to death. Olivia told her that he had been homeless for years, but he was apparently doing better. How was any of this better? What happened that he had to be found this way?

Lizzie didn’t verbally ask these questions though. She couldn’t. Not while Eric was in this state. All she wanted to do was be a comfort to him; reassure him that he was safe with her now. “You-You’re gonna be okay, Eric. I promise,” she said in a low voice, brushing her hand gently through his hair again. “We’ll be home soon.”

Upon Olivia’s return to the car, she informed Lizzie of the updated plan. Apparently, Eric had managed to inform her after they left the church that his backpack was gone. The term “gone” was obviously not fully defined, but considering he went everywhere with it, Olivia could only guess what that meant. She told Lizzie that once they got Eric back at the flat, she needed to stop by Eric’s car to grab some clothes for him to wear. Lizzie made no objections to that. All that mattered was getting him to the flat and someplace other than the floor to sleep.

“Wait here, I’m going to get Malcolm,” Olivia said quickly before rushing out of the car to run into the flat. Lizzie kept all the doors closed in an attempt to keep the heat inside. Luckily, it didn’t take Olivia long to get Malcolm out of bed and following behind her back to the car. Lizzie let the two do their thing. Once Malcolm had a solid hold of Eric, she too got out of the car to help Olivia carry all the bags inside. She was left in charge of leading them inside with Malcolm following behind her assisting Eric and Olivia taking up the rear.

She just finished putting the grocery bags down on the dining table when she picked up on the last half of the short conversation Olivia and Malcolm were having. Naturally, Malcolm was curious about what happened to Eric, but Olivia was quick to defend her best friend and insist that she tell him later. In her words, they first needed to get out of the woods. After briefly digging into Eric’s front pocket for what appeared to be his car keys, Olivia excused herself once again with the quickest explanation that she needed to go to Eric’s car. This left Lizzie completely alone with Malcolm. And she really did not want to be asked the same questions.

“Hey, I can take him. It’s cool if you wanna go back to bed,” she told him while taking a step closer to Eric.

“You sure? You don’t need anything else?” Malcolm asked. He hesitated for a moment, as if contemplating whether it was a good idea to hand over deadweight, six foot tall Eric to little Lizzie.

She thought this question over. “Maybe you can let him borrow, like, sweats and a long sleeve? At least until Olivia comes back with some of his clothes?” She watched him nod at this request then walk back to his room.

Lizzie adjusted her grip on Eric, turning him slightly so that he could lean against the hallway. “Hey,” she said softly. “I know you’re tired, but I think it would be best if you take a shower first,” she then explained. “Just to lower the chances that your cold might get worse.”

She brought a hand up to push his hair out of his face once again. “Do you think you have the energy to shower on your own...or...or do you need help?”​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 101018-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — malcolm and lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

Much of the journey back to the flat would later be forgotten by Eric, lost in the gaps of his clouded memory. But if he could, he would have told Lizzie that he appreciated every moment of it. Her touch, her words, her actions, even just her presence alone helped put him at ease enough to drift in and out of sleep for the hour back to Boundary plus shopping trip.

The car finally came to a complete stop outside the flat and the silence that came with killing the engine stirred him from his sleep. Eric couldn’t find it in him to open his eyes though. His eyelids were as heavy as he was as Malcolm pulled him up from laying across the backseat. Malcolm practically had to carry Eric all the way into the flat; his feet just kept stumbling over one another to the point it wasn’t worth it for him to try and support Eric and let him walk—better to just make use of his muscles and carry the half dead boy himself. Once inside he had a chance to adjust to standing on his own two feet as Malcolm held him up in the hallway. His own coughing was keeping him awake now while Olivia and Malcolm conversed. Eric had finally managed to get his eyes open briefly but everything was spinning for him and it was making him a little nauseous actually. Like a kid that had been on the merry-go-round for one too many spins. It only took a second for his eyes to shut again as he faded off. He wasn’t even aware of the caretaker hand off until Lizzie infiltrated through the fog in his head with that “everything’s gonna be alright” voice of hers. Here she was again, the angelic rock that had been at his side since the church. His arm was draped around her shoulder, his hand weakly grabbing her in an attempt to steady himself while the rest of his world was whirling around at high speeds.

From his hours spent alone in the church till now Eric had coughed himself hoarse; he really needed some more water but just as he tried to find the words to ask for some Lizzie had made physical contact and it completely wiped all other thoughts from his mind. All he could focus on now was how good Lizzie’s touch felt as her fingers brushed across his skin while she moved his curtain of hair out of the way. Despite still shivering, his head felt hot and Lizzie’s cool touch was such a relief as she fought his hair from crowding his face. Of course as soon as he tried to reply to her question he ended up in yet another coughing fit and instead gave her a non answer; just shaking his head when he couldn’t find the breath required to speak. A side to side head shake was a pretty universal signal for “no”. But no was not usually the appropriate answer for a this or that type question. No, he didn’t have the energy to shower on his own. But also no, he didn’t need help; or at least in the moment he didn’t want it...but he needed it; his legs felt like jello and his grip on Lizzie tightened as though afraid he would fall at any moment.

”Okay,” Her voice was soft but decisive as she adjusted her hold on him to prepare for their journey down the hall to the bathroom. It was a little dejavu actually. Hadn’t she helped him walk out of that pub the flat had gone to? Or had he been helping her? There was no way she could have supported his weight on her own and that night was a bit of a blur to him. But this feeling just felt so familiar, so right. She belonged at his side. This was what he had missed the most during the past two weeks. They didn’t need fancy plans or anything, he just wanted her to stay close.

It was obvious that Eric was having a hard time balancing between her and the wall as they walked. His hand was on the wall for support but he just naturally kept gravitating towards Lizzie until it would be too much for her and they would pause to readjust because she couldn’t keep him up like Malcolm could. Believe it or not, he was doing a little better than an hour ago in the car. He was at least conscious and for the time being showing hopeful signs of cognition but alas he lost his breath again just as they ran out of wall and so they paused there too until he could venture into the open space through the doorway. Being right outside the boys’ room, Malcolm of course heard him dying and quickly popped back out to offer his assistance but Eric had a super weak death grip on Lizzie and didn’t look as though he would or even could release her. It was as though he was afraid she would vanish if he let go, so she just insisted they were fine. The more time passed since leaving the church the clearer Eric’s awareness was, and he didn’t want Malcolm, he just wanted Lizzie.

Once inside the bathroom Eric didn't sit down right away after they successfully navigated over to the toilet seat; he was too afraid that once he sat down, he wouldn’t be able to get back up. But at the same time more than anything he just wanted to sit. Everything had taken so much out of him, even just moving from the hallway to the bathroom had been so demanding on his body. Especially considering how just before Malcolm had to completely hold him up. He was in the process of lowering himself onto the seat, still clutching Lizzie for dear life when about halfway down his knees just sort of gave out on him and Lizzie wasn’t strong enough to hold him up on her own. He didn’t exactly fall, he was fine, it had just sped up the whole act of sitting down. But Lizzie didn’t release him until she was sure he was steady enough to be sitting on his own.

Lizzie left him briefly to start the water and then talked quietly in the doorway with Malcolm for a moment as she took the spare clothes. Eric slipped back out of reality for that moment, feeling a little like a fish out of water while he sat there. It was honestly getting harder and harder to breathe. He was developing this constant out of breath feeling, as though he was unable to inhale to his lungs’ full capacity. What probably hadn’t even been a full minute felt like forever until Lizzie’s soft approach breached through to pull him back out of wherever it was his thoughts kept taking him.

”Where’s...’livia...?” With Lizzie back at his side and holding him still, it dawned on him that his best friend wasn’t in sight. You’ll have to forgive Eric, see despite having been personally present when Olivia took his keys from his pocket and said she was going to his car, he hadn’t actually been able to comprehend it at the time. But Lizzie was oh so patient with him as she explained Olivia had gone to his car to get clean clothes. Her angel-like patience continued as she proceeded to talk him through taking off the very sweater she had put on him back at the church. Her touches were cautious and gentle as she helped him out of the sweater in the exact reverse order that she had put it on him in the first place.

Next was his shirt. Eric really didn’t mean to make it difficult for Lizzie, but he kept leaning in towards her touch. He couldn’t understand at the time why he craved it so, but he was a jumbled mess of feelings and the only thing that made it better was being as close to Lizzie as possible. He was already trembling; from an assortment of causes. So the buttons being undone one by one and exposing his bare chest did nothing to him. Dates, birds, crosses, butterfly, birdcage, ferns, might as well...at this point his shirt didn’t make a difference one way or another but as she went to actually slip it off his arms he hesitated and made a weak attempt to tense up, coincidentally coughing at the same time. Whether he was actually conscious of what he was afraid of was up for debate, but Lizzie could get him to do just about anything and proceeded to pull his shirt off the rest of the way once he quieted down. A bit later and his pants were on the ground with his shirt. Well, this was happening.

After sitting in the bath for a while it actually became a little easier to breathe. The hot steam was kind to his upper respiratory and the water had put his chills to rest, for the moment anyway. Eric had laid back; leaning against the wall of the tub with his eyes shut, the water changing color went completely unnoticed by him as his body tried so hard to give in to the comfort and sleep. His responses were even slower than usual and his voice extra raspy on account of his by now destroyed throat as Lizzie tried to talk to him. She spoke of little things, simple things, just words to try and keep him with her. After a while she had grabbed a soft face towel to try and clean the dirt from his clearly injured face. She remained extremely gentle as she dabbed at the dried blood around his lip and extra careful with the bruise by his eye. Truthfully Eric hadn’t seen his reflection in a while but he could feel the towel rubbing over stubble that had grown in. Eric couldn’t grow much facial hair, just wasn’t in his genes, but it had been at least a week if not more since he last shaved which wasn’t like him at all. None of this felt like him.

There was just one snag throughout this bath—a literal snag. His dirty, wet, tangled hair had interlaced itself in the chain of his necklace which Eric finally spoke up over when Lizzie moved on to wash his hair. ‘Spoke up’, was a bit of an overstatement. It was more a pained moan when it pulled at his hair, alerting Lizzie to the situation. It was shortly after she untangled and unclasped the chain that there was a knock at the door followed by Olivia letting herself in, ”Is he hurt?”
In her hand was his blood stained shirt from the car, in her mind were a thousand other things she wanted to say but she knew better than to unload on Eric right now.

After being assured that Eric didn’t have any wounds besides his face Olivia sighed before continuing on. The mysterious shirt would have to wait till later, “Well he didn’t have any clean clothes in the car. I brought them back but we’ll have to do laundry tomorrow.” She had left the other clothes in a bag by the washing machine, no point in bringing them in here with her.
”That’s okay! Malcolm gave me something for him to wear tonight.”
”Cool. Well, here then,” Olivia set a folded pair of clean underwear on top of the pile of clothes from Malcolm. At least Eric had had clean underwear in the car, ”You’re okay in here?”
She was and so Olivia took this time to pick up his other clothes off the floor, frowning at the spots of blood on the shirt they’d found him in. Then again when she noticed something fall from his pants when she picked them up. Olivia glanced between the bundle of cash now in her hand and then down at Eric. It was clear the gears were turning in her head but she didn’t say anything of it before leaving with the clothes to add them to the laundry list. The money would go into her purse with his car key; confiscated until further notice.

Lizzie didn’t wait long after she had finished his hair to declare it time to get out. The bath had been nice and warmed him up, but stay in it too long and it would have the opposite effect and just make him cold as the water cooled off. Things had been going so well thus far, but just as Olivia returned to ask Lizzie something she instead found herself watching as her flatmate struggled with an unresponsive looking Eric. The girls together slowly lowered him to the floor where they could prop him against the wall of the bathtub, ”What happened??”
As Lizzie recapped the scenario, Olivia reached for the fallen towel—only something else caught her eye. She stopped mid-reach and her hand instead picked up his right forearm and slowly turned it so the inner-side was completely visible. And there it was, just above the ink reading Things I Can was a fairly vivid bruise pattern and small puncture wound that looked consistent with—
”Eric?”
Nothing. Still holding his arm, her other hand went to cup his face in hopes that the physical contact would help ground him, ”Eric, look at me.”
Well it worked, Eric’s eyes fluttered back open to stare back at his best friend while she studied his face in that moment before point blank asking, ”Are you high?”
There was no sense in trying to keep it from Lizzie at this point. And if he was then Olivia had to decide how to handle it; his safety didn’t come with the luxury of secret keeping, not anymore anyways. Olivia was prepared to pop him back in the car and straight to the hospital if she thought he was ODing. It would honestly explain so much right now, but Eric didn’t say anything right away so she pressed on, ”When was it?
”I dunno…”
“Eric, how long ago did you take it?”
“—didn’t…”
”Don’t do this. Not right now.”

”Eric. When?” He finally mumbled through some explanation that he ‘thinks it was this morning’. This morning. So at least half a day had passed. Hopefully…
Olivia went on to ask Lizzie if she could go set up the couch, she would get Eric changed. It was after Lizzie left that Olivia got the details she had really wanted. She needed to know the why—she needed to know if she was losing her best friend to the very disease that had taken his mother. But Eric’s story pointed the blame directly to Howard. He really didn’t seem to remember much afterwards right now, But Olivia was paying close, close attention while getting him dressed and in the end decided he would be okay. There would be no late night emergency room visits over this tonight. But now, how on earth would she explain this to Lizzie?

After getting Eric dressed and out onto the couch Olivia stayed just long enough to get cod medicine and water into him, gave what story she could to Lizzie and then finally went to bed after Lizzie insisted that she was going to stay in the common room with with him.

In the beginning Eric only wore Malcolm’s clothes and then the assortment of blankets, but he still seemed so cold until Lizzie retrieved her sweater to put back on him. It was almost instantaneous. Once it was on him he seemed to stop his post bath shivers. He couldn’t keep his hands off of her though. He grabbed at her shirt until she gave him her hand to hold while the other resumed stroking his hair as she had all night so far; the only thing that truly helped him fall asleep.

It was a restless night for them Sometimes Eric woke up because he was cold and Lizzie would do what little she could to help warm him up until he fell back asleep. Other times he would wake up covered in sweat; overheating as his fever spiked despite the cold medicine they had gotten from the store. Those instances were probably easier to handle as Lizzie pulled the layers of blankets back and pressed a damp cloth to his face. She was at his side for the rest of the night. Every time he woke up: there she was ready for anything. Until she wasn’t. The sun had been up for a while now as Eric finally slept the most soundly he had all night but when his eyes did eventually peek open he found that he was all alone. Lizzie wasn’t at his side. And when he weakly pushed himself up to glance around the room he didn’t see her in the kitchen area either.

Eric’s throat was burning and the pain radiated to his ears when he swallowed. He was definitely sick. Like sick, sick. Well, obviously he was sick, he’d been sick all night. But Eric was finally conscious enough to begin to process it all as his mind tried to backtrack and make sense of his scrambled memories from last night. All his thoughts led back to one thing though, ”Li—“ Cough. ”—zzie?” Ouch. Oh god. That hurts. His throat hurt so much and his voice was so far gone it was barely audible, but that wasn’t all. Eric’s hand slowly reached up to the corner of his lip where the split from his mugging lived. It hurt to touch, to open his mouth and to speak. His head hurt, but actually his whole body honestly kinda hurt; his right arm felt especially sore and weak. But before he could pull up his sleeve to investigate the damage a sing song voice broke the silence of the flat as it entered from the hallway—presumably from its room, ”Look who’s finally up! Gooood morning Eric~”

That was not Lizzie, and as though reading his mind Malcolm promptly apologized for not being her as he crossed over to the couch, ”The girls had to leave so I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. How’re you feeling?”
”I—“ He couldn’t fight off the cough that interrupted him nor could he hide his wince as it tore at his poor throat, ”Not great I take it.” Malcolm didn’t hesitate to put the back of his hand to Eric’s sweaty forehead and went quiet for a moment as he mentally weighed this status update with the last time he had checked on him.
”Hm, still hot. Fever’s dropped though,” Had it? It didn’t feel like it, Eric felt like his face was a thousand degrees but he would take Malcolm’s word for it, ”You gave us quite a scare last night you know.”

Eric just stared up at him. He was still having trouble remembering last night but Malcom’s words sparked a tiny little memory that he would have otherwise thought he was dreaming or delusional: After his bath his fever had spiked pretty high; it was all a blur but he had some vague recollection of hearing someone arguing about what to do. Well someone must have done something right cause here he was, still deathly sick, but not dead.
”Unfortunately I think it’s still too soon for more medicine,” he spoke slowly as he looked down at his watch to do the math from the last dose. What on earth had they given him? When? And why couldn’t he remember it? Eric felt worse than any hangover he’d experienced yet—would it be too extreme to say he wanted to die? He felt bloody awful.
”I’m gonna make you some soup, yeah? Then we’ll see what I can give you. Do you need anything? Water maybe? Here.”

Malcolm had crossed around to the front of the couch now to reach a water bottle from the coffee table. It was then that Eric noticed everything cluttering the little table. Several water bottles, some of them empty and abandoned with a bottle of Watermelon Lucozade among them. Various types of medicine sat out beside some small hand towels. There were a couple blankets lying around, both on the smaller couch and draped across the back of his as though someone had removed them when it got too hot. What stood out the most to him though was seeing his cross necklace set out on the corner of the table rather than around his neck where it usually lived. It looked like someone had laid it out carefully so the chain wouldn’t tangle. That was thoughtful of them.

An opened water bottle was now being passed over to him and then Malcolm pushed a single cough drop into reaching distance with an apology that it was all they had at the moment but that he would get more later, ”Just make sure you’re not about to fall asleep if you take it. I don’t know CPR if you start choking.” It was meant to be funny but considering how delirious Eric had been since the girls found him last night, it was a pretty legitimate danger.
”Laundry should be done soon, we can get you out of those and into something clean.” Eric still wore Malcolm’s clothes from last night, with Lizzie’s sweater over top.

The rest of the day was a miserable battle with his fever. Eventually he sweated through Malcolm’s shirt but his own clothes were clean by then so he changed into a loose t-shirt. Plus Lizzie’s sweater. He wouldn’t let Malcolm take it even during the times he was overheating. Sometime around 3pm Malcolm put Love Actually on while he went about with more chores. Cleaning, cooking, and everything that came with taking care of Eric.

Eric himself couldn’t get comfortable though sitting alone on the couch. It was after Malcolm got off a phone call he took in the hall that he finally settled onto the couch beside Eric to watch the remainder of the movie with him. And it was then that Eric finally knocked back out until Maclolm’s voice broke the white noise that the movie had created as he spoke to greet Lizzie. Eric was laying across the couch using Malcolm’s lap as a pillow and when she came into view he sort of paused and just stared at her through his half open eyes for a moment. She was blocking the TV which created this sort of light halo around her small frame and sent Eric skipping back through his memory trying to figure out why this felt so familiar. In the end though nothing popped out at him and he finally did a long slow blink as her hand went to his face just as Malcolm had when he had first woken up—that was not helping clear up his dejavu. His incessant coughing combined with having hardly spoken a word all day left his voice broken as he struggled to greet his love, his own hand taking hers now to hold it in place, relishing in her touch and wanting to prolong this moment for forever.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 101118-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

There was no denying that she had good intentions. But as soon as they successfully made it to the bathroom, Lizzie questioned over what the hell she had just gotten herself into. Did she really just come into an agreement with Eric to let her help him with his shower?!

Lizzie made a side glance back over at Eric. He was currently sitting on top of the pulled down toilet lid and just looked so weak and defeated. As she stuck her hand into the pouring water to test the temperature, she pondered over maybe just waiting for Olivia to come back. If the events of tonight taught her anything, it was that her flatmate obviously had previous experience with this very situation. Olivia would know how to go about all this the right way.

She knew exactly why waiting for Olivia to get back was not the best idea. First of all, she knew how long it took to drive to Eric’s car from the flat. Granted, there was a point when she did recall when Olivia circled around a neighborhood or two before finding the car. It was still a bit of a drive to and from the car. Then there was packing up Eric’s clothes; however much Olivia decides she was going to bring back. How many articles of clothing did Eric really have? Frankly, there was just no telling how long it would take for Olivia to come back. It was getting so late in the evening and Eric needed to sleep, but he also needed this shower.

Lizzie winced as the running water suddenly went from warm to hot. Well, it was now or never.

After she grabbed the spare clothes from Malcolm, Lizzie plucked up whatever amount of courage she could muster as she approached Eric again. What the hell did she get herself into? This whole situation was just terrifying. Whether Eric was even conscious enough to register what was about to happen or not, Lizzie was definitely aware of every second of it. As she carefully pulled her sweater off him, she was acutely aware that they knew each other for a short amount of time. It didn’t matter that they had countless in-depth conversations getting to know each other. It didn’t matter that she knew his favorite color, his top five favorite songs from The Beatles, or his tea preference based on what kind he had. The truth was that they only knew each other for barely a month and a half. And their agreement? Officially, they explored their feelings for only a week before he disappeared. All of this was too soon and Lizzie knew it. She was not qualified to be this useful to Eric. At least not in this current context.

Now that they were in a brightly lit room, Lizzie’s self-doubt was silenced when she really took the time to look at Eric. The shadow on his face that she saw back at the church was actually a bruise. And then there was the blood on his shirt which she immediately attributed to the dried up blood near his busted lip. What happened to him? Would she find any other injuries as she removed more layers?

There was only one way to find out, she guessed.

A gasp escaped her lips when her eyes fell on his now exposed bare chest. Obviously she was aware Eric had tattoos, but not to this extent. She saw most of the tattoos on his left arm already and was curious about the one across his chest since she first saw it on the tube. It just never occurred to her that there would be more. He was covered in them. Not literally, of course. But there were just so many and they were not tiny little things like the ones on his hand. As she slipped his shirt off him, she stared at the giant butterfly spread out across his abdomen; just completely amazed.

And the surprises didn’t end there. It was overwhelming as it is that only a month and a half into their relationship - whatever it was - she was undressing him to the very point of their first ever encounter. But when she slowly tugged his pants off, she was surprised to find another tattoo. Just by a quick glance, she guessed that he had far more tattoos than her. The tiger high on his left thigh was now added to that list. She would soon find more once she successfully moved him to the bathtub.

She could tell that the shower was helping Eric. As she switched the water source from the tap to the handheld shower head, she watched as the hot water and being able to just sit down relaxed him. Lizzie knelt on the floor beside him, one hand holding the handheld shower head while the other slid across his body to rinse. Before starting the tough task of washing his long hair, she saw that the chain of his cross necklace was tangled through some strands. After untangling then taking the necklace off his neck, she decided to keep it safely in her front pocket until later. At least she would know exactly where it was at all times.

It was definitely a lot of work cleaning Eric up. Lizzie saw now as the water changed color just how much damage the past two weeks did to him. When was the last time he took a shower? While washing his hair, her fingers caught on so many tangles and she was constantly apologizing for hurting him. Overtime, however, it got a little easier. It was mostly due to the fact that Eric had basically fallen asleep in the shower. Occasionally she would call out to him and he would respond, but throughout the duration of the shower, he rarely opened his eyes to look at her. Poor baby must be so exhausted.

The events after finishing Eric’s shower was all a blur. While getting him in the tub was one thing, getting him out was a whole other obstacle. And for someone as small as Lizzie against someone as big as Eric, not even her years of swim training gave her enough upper body strength to handle that amount of deadweight. Luckily, Olivia returned to the bathroom before Lizzie could lose her grip under Eric’s arms. From that moment on, her head spun from exhaustion due to the energy exerted to wash Eric and terror that if Olivia had been one second later, she would have hurt him. It wasn’t until she finally left the bathroom to fix up the common room that it all sort of pieced itself together.

Lizzie had her sweater balled up in her fists. She brought it out with her from the bathroom when she saw that Olivia forgot to bring it out with the clothes he wore from the church. She intended to bring it over to the laundry room after she fixed up the common room, but obviously didn’t. Sitting rather impatiently on the shorter couch for Olivia and Eric to join her, Olivia’s “are you high” question was on repeat in her head. High? Why in the world would Eric be high? It never once occurred to her in the times they spent together that Eric did drugs. Nor did he ever say that he did…not that he would, probably. But regardless, Eric and drugs were two things that just...did not seem to go together at all. No matter what little she knew.

After Olivia and Lizzie got Eric situated comfortably on his couch, Olivia pulled her away toward the kitchen with the excuse that she needed help getting his cold medicine from the grocery bags.

“Listen,” Olivia started while rummaging through the grocery bags. This reminded Lizzie that she should put the Lucozade in the refrigerator when she has the chance. “About what was said in the bathroom earlier.” And so it began. Lizzie tried to keep a straight face as Olivia explained the situation. Apparently the incident was a one-time thing. When Lizzie asked how she could be sure, Olivia said Eric told her the bruise on his arm was from that morning. What bruise? Regardless of the fear and worry Lizzie felt, Olivia continued to reassure her that everything was going to be fine and that it wasn’t going to happen again. “I’ll make sure of it.”

As the two women tag teamed to get Eric to eat some store bought ready soup so that he could take cold medicine, they went back and forth over whether they should stay with him tonight. Well, actually, what was really discussed was Lizzie insisting that she would stay with Eric. Olivia already did so much from the very beginning it was the least she could do. So after they said their good nights, Lizzie watched as Olivia hesitated at the double doors before closing them then turning off the hallway lights.

Lizzie let out a sigh. It was just the two of them now. She watched as Eric groaned in his sleep, or at least she thought he was asleep. It was clear that he was unable to get comfortable.

She returned to the common room to find Eric sitting upright on his couch looking right at her; probably from looking for her just a moment ago. However, the glazed over look in his eyes told her that he wasn’t exactly focusing on anything in particular. If he had, he probably would look at her strangely because of the armful of items she was carrying inside. In one arm, Lizzie had a dry towel and a hairdryer with a brush tucked under her arm. In the other arm was her school and work stuff. She also carried in her hand the small space heater from her bedroom. The common room was freezing and the central heating was shit worthless. It was better than nothing.

“Hey, so, your hair is still pretty damp. I’m going to dry it just a bit, okay?” she informed him as she dropped all of the items on the smaller couch. Eric was unresponsive and she wondered if he could actually comprehend what was being said to him. Whatever the situation, Lizzie continued to prep the living room area for his sick bed. She first plugged in the space heater and aimed it directly at the feet of his couch. She then maneuvered around the side table to plug in the hair dryer. After a quick towel dry, she spent a few minutes gently brushing her fingers through his damp hair. Once it was no longer cold to the touch, she left the hair dryer on the side table then pulled the scrunchie off her wrist to tie his hair in a loose ponytail. She just needed it to be out of his face while he slept; certain that he would end up sweating throughout the night.

When Lizzie’s nephew was born, one of her aunts offered this piece of advice to her sister: sleep when the baby was sleeping. In the beginning, Lizzie tried that. She set up camp on the smaller couch and only managed to take a twenty minute nap before she heard Eric groaning in his sleep. The twenty minutes felt like an instant; as if she merely shut her eyes before she needed to get up again to cater to Eric’s well-being. In the end, she gave up any effort to go back to sleep around three in the morning and occupied her time between Eric Duty and reading for school and work. It was incredible how much work she actually got done in the middle of the night in dead silence. And it wasn’t like Eric had any problems with the lamps turned on. He had other things to worry about.

Lizzie was exhausted by the time the sun rose up. When she realized she was reading the same paragraph three times and retained nothing, she wondered if she should just skip classes today. She was pretty committed to that idea as she gave up anymore reading to go back to sleep. Eric hadn’t woken up once since about five and she figured she was finally out of the woods.

She was only given about an hour of sleep before she was shaken awake by Olivia. Naturally, she wanted an update. As if the water bottles, cold medicine and damp towels weren’t enough of an overview. Throughout her report, Lizzie could not suppress the countless yawns that crept out of her.

“How much sleep did you get last night?” Olivia asked.

“Not much,” Lizzie replied through another yawn. “It was tough maintaining Eric’s temperature. Plus the coughing woke him up a few times. We really need to get a humidifier for the flat or something.”

Olivia nodded. “I’ll get one after work tonight,” she offered, reaching over to check Eric’s temperature. “Did he take any medicine?” Lizzie shook her head.

“Okay, well, why don’t you get ready and I can take it from here. Maybe I can prepare him some Weetabix to eat so he can take some medicine.” Lizzie stared at Olivia, confused. Get ready? For what? Where were they going?

“Lizzie, you have a full day’s worth of school today. Just because Eric’s sick doesn’t mean you can just ditch your classes.” This was met with protest. Lizzie claimed that it was fine with her. It would be only one day. But Olivia wasn’t convinced.

In the end, Olivia won. As she went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for Eric, Lizzie carried all of her belongings back to her bedroom and forced herself to ignore the temptation to get into bed to prepare for school.

Upon her return to the common room, Olivia was asking Malcolm to take care of Eric. Since Malcolm seemed to not have work today and because Angel was just very busy with his own job, he was happy to oblige. Granted, this did mean that Olivia watched with mild horror as he chucked the prepared Weetabix in the trash with the explanation that he will make something more appetizing. Olivia legitimately looked quite offended before she turned her attention to Lizzie and offered her a ride to school.

When they were ready to leave, Lizzie suddenly remembered something important. She returned to the living room area, sticking her hand into her front pocket to pull Eric’s cross necklace out. Yes, she was still wearing the jeans from yesterday. Forgive her, she’s tired. Once untangled, she laid the necklace out on the coffee table directly in Eric’s line of vision. Just in case he started freaking out that the necklace was no longer around his neck. She couldn’t be sure that he would remember she took it off last night during his shower.

Lizzie was plenty early for her first class thanks to her ride from Olivia. However, it did not benefit in the slightest. Her day was pretty much predetermined based on what she did that morning. Because she had to wait for the class before to finish, she ended up falling asleep in the hall right outside the classroom. For the rest of the morning, it was difficult to stay awake. It was so bad that she asked Anna and Sophia to bring her coffee before they arrived on campus for their class together.

If the morning was bad, her two hour break was worse. After her class with Anna and Sophia, she had about an hour and fifteen minutes to kill before she had company for the remainder of her two hour break. Despite her obvious exhaustion - to which she blamed work and studying so she didn’t have to tell the girls about last night - her mind immediately returned to Eric. She wondered and worried over how he was doing. At one point while she was walking to the ABC for lunch and another coffee, she considered just spending this two hour break going back to the flat to check on him. But reason, now heard in Olivia’s voice, told her it wasn’t the smartest idea. In the end, she kept with her plan to eat lunch at the ABC and call Malcolm for an update once she sat down.

There apparently wasn’t much updating to offer. According to Malcolm, Eric was getting a little better, but he still had a fever. Since waking up a few hours ago, he was in and out of sleep or continuing to be miserable; Malcolm’s words. Before ending the call, her flatmate informed her that he was in the middle of cooking Eric lunch so he could take medicine again.

After lunch, Lizzie found the rest of the day to be slightly more manageable. She somehow found some remnants of energy in her to get through the remaining three hours of her school day. She liked to thank the extra strong latte she ordered for lunch and the two candy bars she bought on the way back to campus. Caffeine plus sugar. That should be enough to get her going until her inevitable crash.

In the middle of her 1PM class, Malcolm sent her a text telling her to call him as soon as she had the chance. Naturally, in the time it took to get from one classroom to the next, she did just that; all in a panic thinking something bad happened to Eric. In reality, Eric was fine. He was still in and out of sleep and running a fever. No, the reason Malcolm asked her to call him was to ask for a favor. Since Olivia was going to be busy with school and work today, she was the only one that could make a quick trip to the shop to restock on some essential groceries. In other words, Malcolm didn’t have all of the ingredients for whatever meal he was going to cook for Eric next. At the end of the call, Lizzie agreed to pass by the store to pick up more groceries. She instructed Malcolm to text her a list of things he needed as well as anything that Eric might need.

After a quick phone call with Olivia, Lizzie found a store in Boundary that also had a pharmacy. She figured it was smarter to take the train home first and then go to the store than go to the nearest store from the campus and then go home. Less of a hassle. Let’s just hope this caffeinated, sugar induced reasoning lasted until she made it home.

Lizzie was just about finished gathering everything on Malcolm’s shopping list when she pushed the cart over to the pharmacy and took her place in line.

“Hello!” greeted the pharmacist. “How can I help you?”

Lizzie briefly offered him a smile. “Hi, okay so, I’m fairly certain you don’t have the exact brand I’m looking for...but do you have any flu and cold medicine with night time relief?” she inquired. Before approaching the pharmacy, she tried to look for their supply of Nyquil for Eric, but found none. After a bit of quick research, she found out that the UK didn’t sell Nyquil at all.

The pharmacist was quick to shoot her a look. Obviously she didn’t look sick. Sure, she looked dead tired, but definitely not sick. Ever the professional at his job, he immediately asked if this medicine was for her.

Lizzie shook her head. “No, not me. I’m getting it for my boyfriend. He caught a bad fever last week and had a real rough night last night. Coughing up both lungs and sweating and shivering all night. I was hoping that maybe you had something that could help him sleep better...for both our sake.” Luckily, the pharmacist understood and went to look for what was apparently called Night Nurse behind the counter.

On the way back to the flat, Lizzie ended up requesting an Uber to drive her home. Sure, she probably could have carried all the groceries back to the flat. But remember that caffeine and sugar induced high? Yeah, that was fading fast and she was just not in the mood to lug groceries on her arms.

She caught quite an adorable sight when she made her presence known in the common room. Before Malcolm got up to take the groceries for her, she smiled at the sight of Eric resting his head on Malcolm’s lap. Looks like the two got along just fine together. That was a relief. Once Malcolm brought all the groceries to the kitchen, Lizzie dropped her bag at the side of the other couch then sat on the edge of Eric’s couch. “Hey baby, how are you feeling?” she said softly, reaching a hand out to feel his forehead. It still felt hot, but Malcolm was right. It wasn’t as bad as last night. “I bought you some Lemsip to drink. Hopefully it will help with the sore throat.” When he finally let go of her hand, she removed it from his forehead so that she could brush his hair back. It was no longer in the scrunchie from last night.

“I’ll go make some for you, hold on,” she told him, brushing her fingers through his hair once more then standing up to head over to the kitchen.

She rummaged through the couple remaining bags Malcolm hadn’t touched until she found the little green Lemsip box. After reading the instructions in the back for a moment, she briefly consulted Malcolm before finally grabbing a mug and filling it with hot water. She then poured the contents from the little packet and gave it a good mixing as she walked back to the couch.

“Here. Can you sit up?” she asked, placing the cup down on the coffee table. She watched Eric before leaning forward to grab his arm to slowly help him up. As he adjusted to sitting upright after laying down for so long, she brushed a hand tenderly across the side of his face currently not hosting his bruise and busted lip. Taking a seat beside him, she grabbed another blanket to wrap around his shoulders in an effort to keep him warm. “Okay, be careful, babe. It’s hot.” She grabbed the mug by the top of the handle and handed it over to Eric.

While Eric drank his way through the drink, Lizzie observed him quietly. Now that she was back at the flat and sitting somewhere that did not require a table, she was starting to feel the crash from the energy high earlier. It was such a tempting idea to just go to bed and take a nap before she either continued to take care of Eric or get some work done. All day she could never figure out how much sleep she managed last night. The most she considered was an hour...which was quite unsettling.

But despite her exhaustion, she knew that it was worth it. She could never have left Eric alone last night. Just watching him sit up and semi awake was a win in her book.

“Your clothes are done being washed, right? Do you want me to get one of your sweaters so you don’t have to wear mine anymore?” This question set off a chain of reactions and responses that seemed to have built up over the day. First, while Eric still seemed to have trouble using his own voice to speak, he managed to offer a clear nonverbal response: no, he did not want another sweater.

After that, Lizzie heard Malcolm chuckle as he approached them. “I hope you weren’t too connected to that sweater, Lizzie. You might not ever get that back,” he teased with a smirk then turned around and left the common room. As he exited through the double doors, he said something about making dinner later when the others got home.

And just like that, they were alone again.

“It doesn’t seem like Malcolm is interested in Love Actually anymore,” she observed, turning to face the television for a moment. She considered turning it off or asking if he wanted to watch something else, but it didn’t seem like he cared or was paying much attention. So she let it play until it finished. In the meantime, she briefly excused herself to change.

The rest of Lizzie’s evening was, obviously, spent in the common room with Eric. She catered to his every need, which was honestly just staying by his side mostly. When Love Actually finished, she pulled up a random show on Hulu; something she already saw and could be used as background noise. Eric still found it difficult to talk much without his voice giving out due to his sore throat. As such, Lizzie did much of the talking for them...at least when she thought he was listening.

By the time the others in the flat returned from school or work, Malcolm finished cooking and the pot was sittings on the stove to keep warm. It was inevitable that both Ricki and Angel would ask about Eric. However, with Malcolm not exactly knowing the answer himself and Lizzie being rather tight lipped about the truth, they didn’t get much other than that he caught his cold sometime last week. Ricki was fine with that answer. Angel, on the other hand, was very obvious that he wanted to know more, especially because Malcolm had been recruited to help. Either way, both Ricki and Angel called “no offense” before taking their dinners in their rooms to prevent from catching whatever Eric had. Lizzie was sure it wasn’t contagious, but they didn’t need to know that.

Much to Lizzie’s surprise, Olivia didn’t return to the flat until well after nine. By the time she arrived, Lizzie managed to get Eric to eat about half of his dinner and drink some tea with honey. She also gave him Night Nurse an hour before so Eric was pretty knocked out. When Olivia appeared at the still open double doors, she carried in a big box with the picture of a humidifier on the front. Lizzie looked up from her manuscript in time to see that she was taking in the sight of her best friend sleeping and her flatmate on the other couch. While she went about setting up the humidifier, Lizzie offered an update. She found it strange though how quiet Olivia was. Sure, she responded when a response was needed, but for the most part, it seemed as if she wanted to finish whatever she needed to do then leave. What was that about?

For the second night in a row, Lizzie remained in the common room to keep an eye on Eric. He was definitely doing better than last night and she wondered if the Night Nurse was any help. Save for a couple occasions, he was out like a light. Which meant that Lizzie finally got more than an hour of sleep.

When she woke up Thursday morning, she noticed that the double doors were already open. Her best bet was that it was Olivia’s doing. But when she finally grabbed her phone, she was shocked to see that it was already after nine. She must have been real exhausted yesterday. A stretch and a yawn later, she finally turned onto her side on the couch to look over at how Eric was doing: still fast asleep.

It was about eleven when Eric finally showed some signs of consciousness. Lizzie looked up from her laptop at the first sign of stirring. She watched him quietly for a moment until it appeared that he was once again registering what was going on and where he was. “Good morning,” she greeted as she saved the progress she made on her paper then closed her laptop. She then moved from her couch to sit at the edge of his. “So I guess Night Nurse was a better night nurse than me,” she teased with a giggle.

“You hungry? I can also make you some tea or Lemsip,” she continued while checking his temperature across his forehead. She then pulled his hair out of the scrunchie, giving his scalp a bit of a massage to relieve whatever pressure there was. “So, I’m thinking about skipping class today to stay with you. Everyone left already and I just don’t feel that comfortable leaving you alone in your condition. I mean, obviously you’re doing, like, a ton better. But I would just like it if you had someone with you to help take care of you.” She continued to run her hand through his hair. He seemed to find it comforting. “Will that be okay? I might not be as great as Malcolm, but I’ll try my best,” she joked with a smile. ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 101118-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

He held the mug in both hands as he didn’t trust himself to hold it with just one right now. Eric had a pretty high tolerance for hot temperature food and drinks so he hadn’t waited to take a sip of the Lemsip. The only drawback was the burning in his throat. Sure, the hot drink felt good on his throat but swallowing it brought on a whole world of pain and he winced with effort every single time. Just as he was ready to tap out for a while Lizzie spoke up inquiring about changing his sweater, ”—so you don’t have to wear mine anymore?”
Nope. That was a hard no. He tried, and failed to turn down her offer, but his voice just wouldn’t come out and it only irritated his throat which had just been coated by Lemsip. He managed to shake his head though while Lizzie took the mug from him before he spilled it. Once his hands were free they pulled the sleeves of the sweater down as far as they would go on him as though that would further secure the sweater to his body. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was so attached to it honestly, but the couple times he had removed it a wave of panic had washed over him. Almost as though he didn’t feel safe without it on. He needed her sweater, he really couldn’t explain why, but he needed it.

That was pretty much how the rest of Wednesday evening played out. Sipping tea or Lemsip and eating through as much pain as he could withstand. Lizzie stayed by his side for most of it and so Eric was plenty content—if not clingy as he protested anytime she had to leave him. Despite fading in and out of sleep all day, now that she was home Eric fought his body so hard to stay awake. He just wanted to be with her for as long as possible, but once she gave him Night Nurse he was out like a light. Even if he hadn’t felt like death, Eric couldn’t fight the sleep inducing cold medicine. He wouldn’t remember the times he woke up in the middle of the night, it was never much more than to roll over anyways.

When he did finally wake up lateee Thursday morning it took him a few minutes to actually open his eyes. Groggy was a bit of an understatement, honestly he initially felt drugged until Lizzie appeared at his side and gave him something to focus on as the post-sleep fog cleared. While Lizzie’s fingers ran along his scalp he found his eyes closing again as he relaxed into her touch. It helped ease him the rest of the way out of his mini Night Nurse hangover and stave off the headache threatening to wreak havoc. He could feel his dehydration draining him at the same speed as he was waking up. Waking up sick was always awful. Everything felt worse than it really was. The rational corner of Eric’s mind knew that this feeling would subside with time after he woke up, but all he could focus on was the bad right now and feeling like he would stay like this forever. The only thing he wanted to last forever was Lizzie playing with his hair.

He couldn’t let her miss class on his behalf though. No way, he didn’t want to be the reason she wasn’t at school, that was far too much of a burden, on both of them. He of course wanted Lizzie to stay, but no, she couldn’t. Eric tried to express this, to insist that he would be fine staying here alone but just inhaling to speak triggered an onset of deep coughing that coupled with his broken voice were not very convincing, ”I’llbe—fine—“

After a brief back and forth battle between them it was finally agreed that he wasn’t fine and Lizzie would be staying home with him today which despite his protest he truly was happy about. Now that they were on the same page and in agreeance, Lizzie repeated her earlier question of asking what she could get him, ”Tea?” His voice cracked, his throat really did feel better, but he hadn’t spoken in how many hours?? After yesterday Eric had decided that he preferred tea over the Lemsip, but he did acknowledge that the Lemsip helped more. Maybe he would have more in a couple hours, but right now he just wanted a proper cup of black tea; to have something in his routine back to normal.

The only downside to requesting tea was that Lizzie now had to leave him to go boil water and prepare it. Putting water in the kettle didn’t take long in itself, but Eric could hear rustling from behind him; knowing Lizzie she was probably going above and beyond and putting together something to eat. It was then that he decided he needed to pee. Yesterday Malcolm had to help him down the hallway the first time after he first woke up, but by now he had to be fine.

The hardest part was just standing up, everything whirled around him for a moment as the blood rushed to his head and he stumbled the first couple steps until his vision settled and he regained his balance. Part of him wanted to tell Lizzie he would be right back, it was a bit of a habit by now really. But not feeling great overruled that idea for now so he just silently or not so silently cause he couldn’t seem to stop coughing shuffled his way through the double doors and down the hall to the bathroom. All by himself, good job Eric. Once he was done as he stood in front of the sink to wash his hands he found himself staring at an unfamiliar face in the mirror. He was so pale, the only real color coming from the flush of his relentless fever and then the unnatural shadows around his two injuries. How had he gotten to this point? He thought he had everything under control and was balancing Howard’s business just fine—but clearly that had backfired in his face, literally. Eric hissed as he ran his finger across the raw, broken skin of his lip. This was going to take a while to heal up.

It had been a very disorienting past couple days. There were gaps in his memory and it all sort of blended together explaining why it suddenly dawned on Eric that he was missing something. Something important. He may have lost his bag and jacket to those muggers, but he distinctly remembered checking his pockets afterwards and still having the money. He didn’t cross Barking and take a beat for nothing right??
His hands went to the pockets of the sweatpants he was currently wearing as though expecting it to be there. Really Eric?

Howard was going to kill him for losing the money. Eric had essentially vanished and had taken the money with him...this was not good. He had left in the first place to keep everyone safe and uninvolved—now he probably had a bounty on his head or something. Great. He would have to go find Howard and try to explain this to him.
He coughed, fighting to keep it to just the one and not cough himself sick as he leaned over the sink. He couldn’t get back to Barking in this condition, he knew that much. Once again Eric’s hand slid down to his pocket only to come up empty. No keys. Where were his car keys? Maybe back in the common room? Maybe they were on the table, he really hadn’t taken a good look at it yet as he hadn’t been looking for anything yet. All he had really seen was the various ‘sick supplies’ that had come and gone. It seemed almost every time he opened his eyes something on the table had been moved, so it was very possible that his keys were just hidden behind something. He’d take a look.

With his new found stress motivation the walk back to the common room was much easier than the journey to to the bathroom had been. But once he arrived he didn’t see his keys or the money sitting out, just the various medicines, bottles, towels—all the sick supplies. Eric slowly lowered himself onto the edge of the sofa, his eyes still on the table as he noticed his necklace was still laid out exactly where he had seen it last. It was as he reached out to touch it that Lizzie returned to set his tea down in front of him making sure it was a safe distance from the edge but still at a reachable distance should he feel up to getting it himself.

He undid the clasp but as he raised his hands up to his neck to put it on he found his curly mane was in the way. This was normal, his hair was always there but today the extra effort needed to put his necklace on was just too much to much to deal with.
”Here, let me.”
Lizzie didn't let him struggle for long before her offer, but it must’ve been pretty clear that he just couldn’t do it. Her delicate little tatted fingers took both ends of the clasp from him and then reached up to wrap around the back of his neck under his hair. Her hands felt cool against his neck but that wasn’t what sent the micro shiver down his spine. Eric’s thoughts were flashing back to that day on the tube when she had fixed his necklace. She was so concentrated on her task at hand and Eric was so focused on her. He just stared in silence until she looked up and their eyes met. That same electric feeling from before was surfacing but about a thousand times stronger. In that moment he just felt so drawn to her to the point that he was even leaning slightly closer. He was so fixated on this feeling on how badly he wanted to kiss her that he hadn’t noticed he was holding his breath until he was hit by a wave of coughs as his lungs screamed at him for depriving them for so long. Eric quickly turned away and tried to scoot back so as to not cough all over her. His, ”—sorry—“ was drowned out in between his coughing until his breath finally settled. Lizzie’s hand rubbing his back may have had something to do with that.

Once he had caught his breath he found Lizzie was passing him the mug to take a careful sip, hopefully it would soothe his throat and bring the rest of his voice back.

”Where are my keys?” The mug was back on the table now. Lizzie seemed a little confused for a moment but she was quick to piece it together and responded that she last saw Olivia with them. Great, how would he get into contact with Howard if Olivia had his keys? He already knew he would get an earful if he tried to ask for them back.

Eric’s anxiety over the matter was slowly spiraling out of control and he was clearly lost in thought as he stared down at nothing in particular. Yesterday he had been too sick and delirious to fully comprehend it all, but he was conscious now and the dread and regret were sinking in. How would Howard handle this? Would he be calm about it? He trusted Eric, right? But Eric really had just vanished without notice, and with the money from his last transaction. There was no way Howard would be calm about this, especially if he showed up empty handed. He had to find the money, even if that meant coming up with it himself.

Maybe it was his fever waking up for the day, maybe just his stress—probably both— but he was starting to feel his temperature rise. He would be overheating in no time. Lizzie was insisting on fixing him something to eat now and so got to her feet to return to the kitchen leaving Eric alone with his thoughts. He didn’t want to be alone, and especially not while he was trapped in his head like this. But this wasn’t something he could talk to her about. He couldn’t put this on Lizzie.

Eric had pushed his sleeves all the way up to his elbows by the time Lizzie returned with food. He had melted back into the sofa, blanket abandoned on the floor. He was too hot for either sweater or blanket but at the same time he couldn’t bring himself to remove the sweater. The thought of taking it off was just too much. He didn’t want to be without Lizzie.

She was able to pull him back up from the depths of his mind to get him to eat, then tossed a new idea up in the air: ”Do you want to watch a movie or something maybe?” Least he thought that’s what he thought she said. Malcolm had put on Love Actually yesterday which in turn had just put him to sleep. But he was feeling better, and they did sort of have a thing going. He couldn’t stop the little smile in the corner of his hurting mouth as he looked over to her, ”Harry Potter?”

Watching the Dursley’s brought a strange sense of nostalgia to Eric. Strange in that his childhood home life hadn’t been awful like this. He was an only child like Harry, but he had no close cousins to share with. His mother loved him, and he loved her. Nothing like Mr. and Mrs. Dursley with Harry. But still the chaotic and neglected feelings of the Dursley home grabbed at him and with it resurfaced little fragmented memories of his flat in Barking. Especially that woman, Dudley’s aunt. With the dog. Eric was blanking on her name right now and he must not have been paying attention when they mentioned it. She reminded Eric of his own extended family, always speaking poorly of his mother—and his absent father for that matter. They rarely had visitors in Barking but when someone would come by they felt unphased and plenty entitled to speak their opinions on Eric’s little two person family.

Harry had taken to the streets by now and Eric really wasn’t sure what on Earth possessed him to mention this, but his sick mumbling voice just sort of blurted out, ”I had a park like that in my neighborhood…” It was just a casual observational musing, but his thoughts got stuck on the park then, and all the times he had left his own unhappy home to just sit there in silence.

Apparently Eric wasn’t doing a much better job at paying attention to Harry Potter than he had Love Actually, but at least he was still awake. He blinked and they were on the train. Maybe he was actually falling asleep after all...it was getting difficult to tell.
”Felt weird though, like I’d never be happy again.”
Wow, that line hit a little too close. Harry’s post dementor attack was making him a little uncomfortable. As Eric adjusted himself a bit to not slouch so much in his effort to stay awake he found something in his left hand and looked down to see Lizzie’s fingers interlaced with his. When had that happened? Well he wasn’t complaining. Almost instantly after noticing her there he felt himself able to distance from the dementors and Harry’s mother and just zeroed in on the way Lizzie’s hand fit so perfectly in his. His thumb ran across her fingers until he caught sight of what looked to be fresh ink. Well, it was at least still new enough to be a dark black, even still had some shine to it. Almost instantly he stopped rubbing her fingers and sort of froze for a moment. You’re not supposed to excessively touch a new tattoo. Eric new this well. And he hadn’t the slightest clue when she had gotten this, ”That’s new.”
She confirmed it was in fact new, but not as new as Eric had been afraid of. It was safe to touch, but he couldn’t bring himself to still and made sure not to. He wouldn’t break contact with Lizzie, but he made a point to not go too close to her new tattoos she had just explained to him.

Eric had just finished the last of his tea, and Lizzie had succeeded in getting him to eat as well but Eric still wasn’t feeling too hot. Or rather all he felt was hot. The combination of his blanket, the sweater, the space heater and cuddling with Lizzie was all just adding to his fevered body temperature. As he reached his right hand to try and place his mug down his eyes landed on the bruising on his arm above his own tattoo and Eric just about lost it. Internally at least. He found himself staring at it, and slow to release the mug as Lizzie tried to take it and set it on the table for him. Was he still high or something? Why was he finding it so damn hard to focus on this movie? The entire time his mind had been sending him in circles: thinking about his childhood, then Lizzie, thinking about his mother, then Lizzie, thinking about how his one and only instance with heroin had taken away his pain—and then Lizzie reappeared in his thoughts and did the same: ease his pain. She had called out to him softly, trying to get his attention and Eric released her hand then to hastily pull down the sleeves of her sweater over both his arms. Out of sight, out of mind. Ohhh if only it were that easy.

Was this going to be his life now? Was he just going to follow in his mother’s footsteps? That was honestly his biggest fear for as long as he could remember. He had been trying so hard to not think about it all of yesterday until now, but he couldn’t ignore how the drug had made him feel. Eric was well aware that heroin was one of the easiest drugs to get addicted to. Was this addiction already then? He was spiraling and legitimately could not stop thinking about it—about his mother.

And there she was again, Lizzie breaking through his thoughts as the back of her cool hand—well technically her hand was warm but it was cooler than his own skin currently—touched to his cheek while she assessed the situation and her options. His sickness aside, Eric had worked himself up over his experience and the stress was just dragging his body down with it. Lizzie of course suggested he take the sweater off, it clearly had done its job already and a little too well at the moment. But still Eric refused. It was more than just liking her sweater or the fact that it was hers. Now it was a matter of keeping everything hidden away and pretending it wasn’t there. Lizzie only tried once more to convince him before giving up on battling him over the sweater and went about preparing his next dose of medicine and a damp towel, leaving Eric to watch Mrs.McGonagall refuse to allow Harry into Hogsmade. How much of his life had he missed out on due to absent parents as well?

By the time they started The Goblet of Fire Eric’s fever was well under control and he was laying across the sofa as they watched. His head was on Lizzie’s lap, her fingers running through his hair in a way that would have sent him straight to sleep had his mind been able to let him rest. Presently though he was teetering between wanting to watch one of his favorite Harry Potter movies, but also wanting to talk to Lizzie. He just wanted to talk with her, but Olivia’s nagging mum voice was in the back of his head. He knew what she would have told him had she been here. She would tell him to explain himself to her, just as she had insisted he tell her when he was busy with extra rehearsals, and to apologize for being such a twat after karaoke. Actually...where was Olivia? He couldn’t remember seeing her at all apart from his scattered and hazy memories of the night they found him. He remembered telling her that he’d been with Howard—that Howard had been behind drugging him. But neither of those were things he wanted to tell Lizzie. Start small Eric, baby steps, “Love—“ It escaped as barely a whisper caught in his throat and no doubt overpowered by the audio from the movie so after he forced a cough Eric tried again, ”Lizzie…”
His voice was all rough from coughing himself hoarse the past couple days but at least he had his voice now. And it didn’t hurt to talk; well apart from the movement pulling at the corner of his torn mouth, but it was bearable. If only he knew what it was he wanted to say, ”I don’t—I’m sorry...for everything,“ that was definitely not what he had been trying to say. Well, it sort of was, but it wasn’t...Eric was just stalling at this point. But as soon as Lizzie started to speak he cut her off as for once in his Very British life he got straight to the point, ”I don’t have a place...of my own.” So much for starting small. Eric couldn’t bring himself to say the word homeless, it just wouldn’t come out.

He was so thankful they weren’t sitting face to face, sure she could see him as he lay literally on her, but he couldn’t bear the thought of seeing her expression right now as he exposed this part of himself to her, ”When I’m not here I usually sleep in my car…”
He was also thankful she spoke up then because he honestly didn’t know where he was going with this confession. She had asked why he was there, in Barking—but Eric couldn’t tell her that, “I uhm, had to go take care of something back home,” there was a pause and Eric could practically feel Lizzie’s questioning stare. Of course she would have questions, who wouldn’t? But Eric still couldn’t look at her, it was easier not to. So he carried on dancing around the elephant in the room, ”I grew up in Barking—Olivia and I did.” That was definitely not what Lizzie had been wondering about, but Eric pressed on with his slow speech in his rambling matter; further impeded whenever he had to stop to cough or catch his breath, ”I moved there when I was little —lived here before— “ Cough, ” —near here, in Kensington.”

Useless piece of information number one. She didn’t need to know about Kensington; did she even know where it was? Well it didn’t matter anyway, ”I dropped out of uni...five years ago?” It was honestly a little difficult for him to differentiate between the years since his mother’s passing. But finally he was clearing up Lizzie’s confusion from when they first met and she had assumed he was a student as well; again, he was just feeding her useless information.
”I didn’t tell Olivia for years, I’m sure she’s still cross with me…”
His whole body tensed as a particularly ugly set of coughs passed through, ”—I would hate me too.”

How long would it be until Olivia would speak to him? Eric fell quiet now as his nervous rambling ran out of steam. All of a sudden he felt very distant from Lizzie despite their physical contact. More than anything he wanted to hold her hand, to feel her play with his hair, or something. But Eric couldn’t bring himself to initiate any such actions, he was far too scared of the situation he had just put himself into. Here he was opening a can of worms that he most definitely did not want to talk about, but it was too late to back out now. His hands gripped at the cuffs of the sweater sleeves as though he could pull them further and have the lavender sweater turn into his own invisibility cloak, ”Sorry…” At a time when he should be thanking her for staying here at his side, all he could seem to do was apologize for putting her here in the first place. By now the coughs were returning at full force as the last dose of cold medicine wore off. No longer did they originate just from his scratchy throat, now they were set deep in his chest—storytime was getting cut short. But when Lizzie mentioned getting him something he finally rolled over to be able to look up at her and their eyes finally met. Sorry Harry Potter—Eric was far too into Lizzie to really pay attention anymore. He was getting so lost in her eyes now and Eric couldn’t stop himself as his hand reached up to push her own stray strands of hair back behind her ear. He longed so badly for that intimacy that they kept opening without following through on. He didn’t want to sit and tell her his life story; he didn’t want to burden her with that tragedy. Literally all he had wanted for the past two weeks was to hold her. Pushing himself upright took more strength than he had anticipated but he was soon sitting close and pulling her even closer as his arms wrapped around Lizzie’s smaller frame. His breaths were heavy as he fought back against his body and the coughs threatening to escape. Eric’s eyes shut as his too warm forehead nestled near the crook of her neck.

Why? Why was he doing this? He should have just stayed down and let Lizzie do her thing and grab more medicine like she had offered. But Eric was sick, and a little emotional, and literally all he wanted was to be as close to her as he could right now. He wanted so badly to thank her. Specifically to thank her for staying; not just today but for staying with him after she saw him at his worst. She really didn’t have to be here at his side, but here she was. Thank you. I appreciate you. It means a lot to me. I love you. Of all the things he could and probably should of said, of course Eric simply mumbled another apology with one simple request tacked onto the end, ”I’m sorry, you had to deal with all this—“ he finally lost against his cough, ”—could we just stay a moment?” He was admittedly a little dizzy now after having laid down for so long, his words muffled and breathy to match while in the background Harry and Ron were finally making up after their fallout over the Triwizard Tournament.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 101218-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

Taking care of Eric that morning was definitely a task and a half. Admittedly, Lizzie hadn’t needed to take care of anyone sick for a long time. Save for the few instances when she needed to take Marie to the vet, the last time she ever had to help take care of a sick person was when Katie caught food poisoning after an away swim meet. But even then, she didn’t do it alone. She, Jade and Lacey all worked together to take care of their friend. Maybe she should have picked up some tips and tricks from Malcolm and Olivia before she walked into the lion’s den that was taking care of Eric.

The bright side was that Eric was definitely feeling better. She was relieved to see him up and moving earlier when she was reheating last night’s soup and preparing him tea. The memory of helping Olivia bring him to the living room from the bathroom popped into her mind while watching him shuffle on his own to the hallway. At this point, any progress is good progress. They survived the worst of this fever. Things can only go up from here...hopefully.

Truthfully, Lizzie was really trying her best to keep a brave face around Eric. He did not need to know about how much she panicked over him. Not just because she was worried about his recovery, but also over everything that happened the night she and Olivia found him. Don’t get her wrong, she was relieved that he was safe and back at the flat with her. But...they found him in an abandoned church an hour away from here. If that Barking place was supposed to be his and Olivia’s hometown, why did they find him in such a state? Did they not both mention to Lizzie that Eric had a mother? Why did he not just stay with her while he was there?

Lizzie liked to think she was doing a fine job hiding her anxiety, curiosity and worry as she helped feed Eric some of the soup that finished heating up. If anything, she figured that Eric being too sick could also help hide her true feelings. In the meantime, she would utilize her nursing responsibilities to distract her from all the questions forming in her head. The last thing she wanted was to be so distracted that she ended up dropping hot soup all over him.

When Eric suggested that they utilize this alone time to continue their slow marathon through the Harry Potter movies, Lizzie welcomed the new method of distraction. Even if she knew all the movies by heart, she could at least force herself to concentrate on the movies to drown out the flashback images of the dark streets and sneaking about.

That is until… “I had a park like that in my neighborhood.” Suddenly, Lizzie time jumped back to the neighborhood park in Barking. She remembered how dark and cold it had been running to stand under one street light to the next. All the while frantically searching for any sign of Eric. Yes, she knew very well about the park in his neighborhood. It was a good thing they were sitting in a way that he would not be able to see her without pulling his attention away from the screen. He would have seen the moment Lizzie let slip through a single facial expression just what exactly she was feeling right now. But just as said expression appeared, Lizzie wiped it off her face while adjusting her head on his shoulder.

Eric had to be tired of soup by now. It was about a couple hours since his late breakfast and she figured she should get him to eat something so that he could take some medicine. Not cold medicine. No, he complained earlier about how he was developing a bit of a headache. But when water didn’t seem to alleviate it, she decided that maybe a painkiller medication might do the trick. Naturally, taking it on an empty stomach was not the best idea. But the only food they had readily at hand was soup. Maybe if his throat was feeling a little better later she could order him a sandwich from the cafe down the street or something.

After handing over the painkiller tablet and a fresh cup of tea, Lizzie took the mostly eaten bowl of soup with intentions to return it to the kitchen. First, she had to wait for him to finish taking the medication so that she could help him put the cup of tea back on the table. He may be doing loads better, but she could not exactly trust that he had the strength to do any type of movement that required him to extend his limbs outward. Sure enough, she noticed his hands shake slightly as he tried to put his cup back on the table. She was quick to assist, even if it meant that their hands awkwardly rested over each other around the cup. But just as she stood up to complete her task of bringing the bowl to the kitchen, she caught him tugging the sleeves of her sweater at the corner of her eye. A breath caught in her throat, Olivia’s words from last night returning to ring in her ears. It was lucky that she was with her back to him by that time.

Upon her return to the living room, Lizzie had a decision to make. It was still fairly early for him to take another dose of his cold medicine. But when she noticed how spaced out he suddenly appeared and then discovering that he once again felt like he was overheating, she thought it best to give him the cold medicine on top of the painkiller medicine. She once again excused herself to get run a fresh towel through cold water and prepare a cup of Lemsip. She also decided to give the space heater a rest for the time being. Even she had to admit she was getting a little toasty with it on.

When they made it through Prisoner of Azkaban and then began Goblet of Fire, Lizzie was reminded of the countless Harry Potter conversations they had during their time together. It was during their lunch date at GRANGER when Eric finally fessed up that Goblet of Fire was actually his favorite film. He was, of course, already aware at the time that it was her least favorite book. That conversation was a good twenty minutes of debating the lost in adaptation-ness between book and movie. And from the beginning of the film up until when the Death Eaters charged through the Quidditch World Cup camp, that was the memory replaying in her head in an attempt to keep her calm.

It wouldn’t take her too long to become invested in the movie. The moment she commented on the hair styles, she was in lighter spirits. But this mood didn’t last long.

There was a point in the middle of Eric’s version of an explanation when Lizzie wondered if she had made it obvious what she was feeling this entire time they were together. Did she, at any point, reveal how many questions she had in her head since the Tuesday evening?

If that was the case, she tried her damned hardest to not reveal just how frustrated she was with him right now. She knew all this. She knew all this. If not for the fact that Olivia told her all of this “new” information already, the events of Tuesday night were enough to clue her in on the basics. If Barking was supposed to be “home” then why was he found in an abandoned church? The same questions from that night once again sprang from the depths of her mind to plague her with curiosity.

She tried to ask a follow up question. She wanted to know why he didn’t stay at a “home” while he was at Barking. She wanted to know why Olivia thought that staying in a dirty, dusty abandoned church was better than anything else at Barking. But she never got that chance to ask. Eric continued through his coughing fits to keep explaining his side of the last two weeks. Except, he gave her nothing.

Blanket statements. Vague explanations of facts that she could figure out herself. She was the one that tagged along with Olivia as they drove across Central London to look for him. She was the one that felt the absolute panic sink in realizing his absence at the flat was more than just a very busy schedule. She was the one that saw the car and its evidence that it was being lived in. She was the one that searched the neighborhood park well past ten in the evening with the gut wrenching realization that it was too cold (and getting colder) to be sleeping on a bench. She was the one that found the man of her dreams, her perfect man, broken and defeated and covered in dust and blood. And this was all he was going to give her? Blanket statement and vague explanations. Was she supposed to just take it as fact and move on?

Right now, yes. As Eric turned across her lap so that he could face her, Lizzie melted into those blue eyes. The same blue eyes that she fell for that first day they actually talked. Even through the pale skin, the fevered cheeks, the bruised eye and busted lip, Eric’s eyes were still piercing through her right into her heart. She could and would never grow tired of the way he looked at her. Whether he was standing upright or resting his head across her lap, she could get lost in those eyes. Even if she tried, she can’t get them out of her mind.

She didn’t want to hear another sorry from him. Truthfully, sure, he probably should apologize for the last two weeks. But for Lizzie, now just did not feel like the right time for anymore sorrys. Hearing him apologize broke her heart. He just sounded so defeated and disappointed with himself. This wasn’t the Eric that Lizzie knew. It’s true that Eric typically didn’t exude much confidence in general, but this Eric in front of her right now was an absolute stranger to her and she didn’t know what to make of him. Was this a side of Eric that he was trying to hide from her? If so, should she think of this as a good thing? Was this vulnerability something she should consider as an evolution in this roller coaster of a relationship?

As the questions and her confusion about her feelings tuned out her surroundings, Lizzie noticed too late as Eric moved from his position across her lap to sit up again. It wasn’t until she felt his arms wrap around her and pull her closer. He radiated warmth even before their bodies touched. How was he bearing the heat he must be feeling right now? He should really consider taking off the sweater for a while. It wasn’t like she was going to take it back. He made it very clear that he didn’t want her to take it back. Admittedly, her worry over his condition distracted her from the current situation: he was holding her with such a strong need that she had never experienced before.

It was his apology that broke her out of her thoughts. Please, enough with the apologies. She couldn’t take it anymore. But then he nestled his head once again against her neck. His request vibrated against her skin. Whatever frustration she felt toward him vanished. She was upset at things that were out of her control. What should matter to her now was Eric and that he was back at her side; where he belongs.

For the rest of Goblet of Fire, they remained cuddled together on the couch. Every so often, Lizzie would reach a hand up to brush through his hair. She ignored the heat radiating from both of their bodies because she was too afraid of what would happen to them if they broke apart. All that mattered to Lizzie now was that Eric was content, if not happy.

Between Eric’s efforts to explain himself and his sudden need to hold her, the Harry Potter marathon ended once the credits for Goblet of Fire finished. Lizzie was unable to leave the couch. Not just because Eric made it difficult, but also because she didn’t want to leave his side. So instead of popping in the next movie, she turned off the television and grabbed her laptop that she abandoned on the side table. Eric was once again resting his head on her lap. She couldn’t blame him. His earlier position could not have been that comfortable for a long period of time.

It was hard to tell just how long they remained in this position. For some time, it was only silence between the two of them with the only sounds coming from Lizzie’s typing. Eventually, after the silence and typing became too much, she did once again turn on the television to serve as background noise. Eric was in charge of finding something for them to watch on Netflix.

It did not surprise Lizzie in the slightest that the first person to return to the flat hours later was Malcolm. It was also not surprising to find him with even more grocery bags full of ingredients. Lizzie just hoped he wasn’t going to make soup again.

With the new addition to the flat, things were once again put in motion. It was as if their little bubble popped and reality hit. Suddenly, Eric realized that he needed to use the bathroom - not surprising considering how much tea, Lemsip and other fluids he drank throughout the day - and Lizzie was in desperate need of her laptop charger. Their little flat of two grew into a flat of three and it shocked Lizzie just how well Malcolm integrated into the group so effortlessly. Wednesday just the two of them must have done wonders with developing their friendship.

Malcolm was the one that insisted Eric get off the couch for a bit. As he went about preparing whatever sick meal Eric was going to be forced to eat for dinner, Lizzie helped Eric get situated on a stool at the kitchen island so that the two could catch up. Of course, with Eric still suffering with a hoarse throat and coughing fits, much of the catching up was on Malcolm’s end. As for Lizzie, she took over the dining table for the time being as she spread out her laptop and her two manuscripts to get some work done while she had access to another babysitter.

There was about two hours before the rest of the flat arrived. Luckily, Lizzie managed to finish one report for her internship by then. When she returned from dropping her things off back in her room, she immediately noticed that Eric had completely abandoned listening to whatever Malcolm was talking about to look at her. Or, maybe he was looking for her? Regardless, the look in his eyes were practically pleading for her to join him.

Despite his condition improving, it still took the tag team effort between Lizzie and Malcolm to get Eric prepared for bed later that night. After getting him to eat enough of his dinner to take his medicine and Night Nurse, the two had a quick discussion about the sweater. Lizzie mentioned to Malcolm around the time Eric took a bathroom break about how he overheated throughout the day because he refused to take off the sweater. This discussion led to what Lizzie considered a pretty mean plan. Mean in that it was taking advantage of the fact that Eric would be so knocked out from Night Nurse to notice anything. But despite her feelings, she knew that Malcolm was right; he needed to sleep at least one night without the sweater.

Once they were certain Eric was knocked out, Lizzie and Malcolm dove in to get the sweater off. Naturally, Malcolm was in charge of all the heavy lifting now that Eric was nothing but dead weight. Lizzie really tried her best to work around her flat mate to get the sweater off of Eric. She did have to admit though that it was a bit easier compared to her shower mission the other night. After the sweater was off, Lizzie helped Malcolm return Eric comfortably back on the couch to sleep like a baby.

After some consideration, Lizzie decided to sleep in her room instead of the living room. It took some reassuring that Eric would be fine alone now that he was much better than the first couple nights. Plus Night Nurse really does wonders.

Lizzie woke up early Friday morning with intentions to get some laundry done. She wanted to take advantage of the break in her internship schedule that allowed her to be home at a time when no one else would be home. On top of that, she wanted to make sure Eric got her sweater back before he woke up. Of course, it wasn’t exactly important for her to finish her laundry by then, but she figured Eric would appreciate it.

She concluded that it was definitely safe to start a load of laundry when she heard noises coming from Olivia’s room. As she put her first load in the washer, she realized that she didn’t see Olivia come home last night. It was odd how distant she seemed since they returned to the flat with Eric. Olivia was the one that urgently wanted to look for Eric the moment she knew he disappeared the last two weeks. All of a sudden, she was nowhere to be found during Eric’s recovery time. The last thing she recalled her flatmate doing for Eric was buying the humidifier.

While her laundry was in the washer, Lizzie decided she needed some time outside the flat. Having spent all of Thursday taking care of Eric, it didn’t occur to her until that morning that she was very close to experiencing some form of cabin fever if she spent another day cooped up in the flat. Once she made sure that everyone else still in the flat knew it was her clothes in the washer, she grabbed her wallet and left to go to the cafe. Initially, she wanted to head to the community center to swim a few laps, but with Eric heavily on her mind, she couldn’t get herself to leave him for longer than half an hour.

She perfectly timed her time out of the flat so that she would return just when the wash was finished. So upon her return, she went straight to the laundry room to switch her clothes from the washer to the dryer then put in the next load.

As she walked down the hallway to return to her bedroom, however, she came across an unexpected sight. Much to her surprise, the double doors were still closed considering the time. Sure, it was still fairly early for a Friday morning, but she would have figured at least one person other than Olivia would be awake by now. As she approached the double doors to look in on Eric, she came across another unexpected sight. Not only was Eric awake, but he was currently in what looked to be a deep conversation with Olivia.

It became clear to Lizzie almost immediately that the conversation had to be serious and to be kept between the two of them. Despite standing at the double doors for a decent amount of time, neither of them looked up to find her there. Granted, she was unsure whether Eric was fully in the conversation or not, but regardless, Olivia had a lot to say to him. And it seemed like now was the only time she could say it. Lizzie watched for another minute, taking in the facial expressions between the two of them. Whatever was being said, it had to do with whatever business Eric had going on in Barking. Olivia definitely knew more than she was letting on.

The outsider looking in jealousy hit her so unexpectedly. She thought she was over this feeling. But the crushing feeling in her chest told her otherwise. Just when she thought she was getting somewhere with Eric, Olivia comes crashing in reminding her that she would never be at the same level. No matter what she did.

Just as quickly as that feeling returned, all the thoughts she managed and succeeded to push out of her mind last night returned with a vengeance. It was as if it wanted to brutally remind her that Eric left her with more questions than answers. And with the realization that Olivia definitely knew more after one night than she did in two days, she was plagued with the painful thought that Eric didn’t trust her even after everything she did for him. Olivia got answers. Lizzie got apologies.

A little over an hour later, Eric’s voice cut through her concentration. Having avoided the common room after watching the Olivia and Eric show, Lizzie did not emerge from her room until both the washer and dryer were done with whatever load she had in them. She then spent a little extra time in the laundry room to fold her dry clothes while the next load took its turn in the dryer. When she finally emerged from the laundry room with intentions to bring her clothes back to her room, she completely ignored the fact that the double doors were now wide open and Eric was awake with what appeared to be breakfast and tea.

“What?” she said, confused and still processing that Eric was actually awake.

He repeated what he just said, apparently asking what she was reading. Lizzie looked down at the manuscript she had opened and balancing on top of her freshly folded laundry. “It’s one of my assigned manuscripts for work,” she answered simply. She then excused herself momentarily to put her laundry back in her room.

Now that Eric was wide awake and aware that she was too, there was no avoiding going into the common room. Something inside her told her that he was probably expecting her to join him. So once she dropped her laundry on top of her bed, she grabbed her freshly washed sweater and her manuscript to move to the common room.

“Here,” she said. A split second later, she noted the flat tone of her voice. She paused. “I, uh, figured you would want this back,” she continued, handing over her sweater. Okay, it was a bit of an improvement.

She took a seat on the other couch. “How are you feeling?” she asked while attempting to ignore looking directly at him. She feared how he might look at her if he picked up she was acting differently from yesterday. Was she acting differently?

Other than something about maybe feeling a little better, everything else Eric said went in one ear and out the other. In truth, Lizzie was distracted by her feelings. The frustration she felt yesterday returned thanks to Olivia and her infinite Eric knowledge. What did she and Eric talk about earlier? If she asked, would Eric even tell her the truth? Or would she get another round of vague explanations?

There was silence between them while Lizzie struggled to find something else to say that would not betray how she really felt right now. In an attempt to break the silence, Eric brought the topic back to her manuscript. She tightened her grip on the manuscript. “It’s, uh, supposed to be a, like, lighter read than the other one. You know, ‘cause I have a two manuscript week. Kinda why I’m still here, I guess.” She let out a small laugh. “This is supposed to be, like, a YA novel. It’s about this singer in a boy band, forced to go to school on top of, like, band activities. Apparently, he got blackmailed or something into dating this girl, but I haven’t reached the point of those details yet. So now he has to go to her school to keep face or something to prevent a scandal. But, he ends up, like, befriending this lonely girl with her own relationship issues. She also happens to be one of his biggest fans. They seem to be hitting it off so far?”

Lizzie could feel the distance between them as she spoke. Even if they were sitting together in the living room, it felt as if something was standing between them. It was a complete turn around from yesterday and she knew that he knew it. It put her in this dilemma over whether or not she should try to resolve it. Of course she should resolve it. But the question was, did she want to?

The image of Olivia and Eric having yet another private conversation still hurt her. Olivia knew she was awake. Why didn’t she call her in to be involved in whatever the two had to talk about? Did she not have the right to be included? Or did her involvement in Eric’s situation end the moment they brought him back to the flat? Just play nanny until Eric was back to normal and they could go back to keeping their secrets from her.

Lizzie let out a sigh. Honestly, she didn’t realize she had done it until she noticed that Eric suddenly stopped his efforts to say something. She looked up at him, took in his expression then made her decision.

“This...isn’t going to work,” she blurted out. Couple seconds later, she realized how that must sound to him. So she quickly continued with, “I need to know if this,” she motioned between them, “means more than I’m imagining.” She paused again to watch him closely.

“I, uh, saw that Olivia spoke to you earlier,” she then continued. “I...don’t know what you two talked about, but it’s obvious she knows a lot about what is going on. I understand she’s your best friend and that she has the right to know everything about what happened the last two weeks. But…” She paused again, placing her manuscript beside her instead of on her lap. She sighed once more. “But...I was there too. I was there at that church...scared to death over what I saw.”

“She didn’t have to take me, you know?” Lizzie forced out, fighting back the feeling like she was choking on her own words. “And yet, she asked me to help. Why would she do that if I was just going to be left in this situation, feeling like I’m purposely being left in the dark?” At another pause, she tried to collect her thoughts. After tossing her ponytail over her shoulder, she took a deep breath and continued. “I’m not...I’m not saying that I want you to spill your deepest, darkest secrets to me right now. I’m sure you have your reasons for—Honestly? For offering those vague explanations yesterday. But the truth is, Eric? I could have figured all of that out the night we went looking for you. We found your car. And I saw that park in Barking. I care for you, more than I could possibly explain. There is nothing more that I want than to be able to be with you. I just want to know if...if you can find it in your heart to someday...trust me? Trust that I’m pretty in for this—for all of this—if you’ll let me.” ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 101218-----------❖ LOCATION — boundary-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

Eric was up dumb early Friday morning, courtesy of having been knocked out with night nurse equally early last night. His body protested against waking up, it needed as much rest as it could get and waking up was the exact opposite of resting. But on the other hand this was part of his usual daily routine, so technically it was good he was waking up before the sun, as opposed to yesterday when it had been almost noon. It must mean he was getting better. But he still didn’t feel better and he groaned in protest as he made a feeble attempt at rolling over to go back to bed.

It was useless, he was awake now and there would be no falling back asleep just yet. He’d have to wait till he crashed again or until Lizzie woke, she seemed to be good at helping him sleep.

Well now that he was awake Eric’s senses zeroed in on how cold he was compared to his last memory of last night on the couch with Lizzie. He had grown so used to his endless fever over the past couple days that suddenly not experiencing that heat was a bit of a shock to his system. The hum of the space heater was gone, the TV was silent as well. There weren’t any comforting fingers running through his hair and honestly he felt a little...exposed? The blanket was still over him and pulled up to his chin, but as Eric slowly sat up he was able to tell that his arms were out; Lizzie’s sweater was gone.

What. How? Had he...taken it off during the night? He had no such memory but considering how spotty his memory had been the past few days he supposed it was possible to have taken it off and forgotten. But no, after glancing around him on the couch and the floor there was no sweater in sight. Well that was...creepy to say the least. He was alone in the room, and craning his head over his shoulder confirmed there was no one in the kitchen either. He must’ve been the first one up, just like usual. The silence was far from comforting though, if anything it made him feel uneasy and on edge. He wanted so badly for Lizzie to come back and sit with him, it didn’t feel right without her at his side.

He sat, lounged back against the sofa cushions alone in silence for some until the cold air began to irritate his throat and he pulled the blanket up to his face to muffle the first coughs of the day. His cold was better, there was no denying that, but it was also very early in the morning when he no doubt would be feeling his worst. His body needed time to warm up and adapt.

Warm. Up. God he was freezing. Lizzieeee.

As if on cue he heard a shuffling at the double doors and then the sound of the handle turning. The excitement inside was growing and he couldn’t wait to see her face. To have her brighten his very existence. All he wanted in that moment was for her to walk through those doors and straight over to him. His fingers longed to run across her perfect skin and hold her close. Last night had ended on such a weird note, and then waking up alone for the first time...there was this neediness washing over him now. He needed her. He needed Lizzie.

Not that the air had much life to it to begin with, but it immediately grew tense when the doors opened and rather than Lizzie, it was Olivia who let herself in. She softly shut the doors behind her after confirming that Eric was awake. Switching the lights on she stood there for a moment as they made eye contact, ”Feeling better?”
He managed to mumble a yeah, his voice getting caught not from his cold this time but rather from his inability to talk to Olivia right now. He just didn’t know what to say to her. She nodded, clearly not really knowing what to say either, ”Good…”

”Oliv—“ but she had turned away to walk over to the kitchen before he could even finish her name. She was angry with him, but Eric had already known that based off how little he had seen of her. Olivia was normally good at conflict resolution and expressing herself to people. So for her to be avoiding him like this it was a dead give away that his best friend was holding herself back from going off on him.

He watched as she went about preparing her morning coffee, a routine that normally she would have included him in. But today it seemed she would make no offer to pour him a cup.
”I’m sorry, Olivia,” again with the apologies. Was that all he was capable of? But he was met with silence as Olivia continued to ignore him for the time being. She had taken a water bottle out of the refrigerator now and it dawned on Eric how thirsty he was, but rather than ask her for a drink he just got himself in trouble instead. How did the expression go? ‘Don’t poke the bear’? Oops.
”You have it right? The money? And my keys...Olivia please I—“ He truly didn’t mean to sound so desperate. It’s just that the cabin fever induced by his real fever was leaving him so stressed over the prospect of what Howard might do now. Eric had left, with the money, and no form of communication.

”You what? Do you have somewhere else you’d rather be right now?” She had turned around so fast to snap and didn’t give him a chance to respond as she fired the next accusational question across the room, ”What were you doing in Barking?”
The two friends sort of just stared at each other from across the room now. She knew what he had been doing, so what was she really asking him?
“Where's your bag? Your jacket? Eric you had nothing when we found you.”
Eric still hadn’t spoken. He wasn’t sure what she wanted to hear and didn’t want to accidentally say the wrong thing, so silence was his friend now while his only real one went off on him.

“I can’t do this again Eric. You can’t put us through this again. Do you have any idea how scared I was to—you were just—you almost died.” Olivia had this rare and impressive talent of being able to keep her voice from shaking while tears escaped and freely rolled down her cheeks only to be wiped away as quickly as they had formed. She wasn’t sad, no, she was frustrated and had been bottling up all this emotion for days now. Eric couldn’t look at her. His own traumatic memories were surfacing at the mention of his near death; he knew very well what it must’ve felt like for Olivia to find him like that as he had experienced a similar scenario— his last interaction with his mother. He understood now exactly where she was coming from. She wasn’t mad at him, she was scared for him. Mad at the situation he had ended up in and scared of the possibility of losing him.

Olivia audibly exhaled as she forced herself to calm down and wiped at her eyes one last time, ”Fuck it’s cold in here…”
After turning on the little heater she took a seat on the couch with him and picked up his right arm. Without Lizzie’s sweater the bruising was out and visible, Eric was quick to try and pull away from Olivia held strong, ”You’re okay…”
To be honest, Eric couldn’t tell if she was telling him, asking him or trying to reassure herself as her thumb grazed over the discolored skin on his forearm above his tattoo. It wasn’t sore or swollen any longer, just an ugly assortment of colors making him look like a bruised banana.

She released him and moved to cross her arms over her chest, almost as though trying to fight herself from being too affectionate, ”So, are you finally going to tell me what happened now?”
The last time they had spoken had been on the bathroom floor with Eric’s barely coherent clarification that he had not administered the drug himself. She knew he wasn’t lying about that, but she also knew there was more to this story than Howard assaulting him. He had been gone for two weeks without so much as a single text to just say he was still alive.

This was Olivia, so Eric found himself spilling just about every gory detail—though mostly because Olivia knew all the right questions to ask. She already had all the insider knowledge which was what made talking to Olivia about infinitely times easier than talking to Lizzie. Olivia knew who Howard was. Olivia knew Howard had a drug business. Olivia knew Eric had a money problem—was broke and buried in a deep pit of debt. Olivia knew his mother had both a drug and money problem. Olivia knew Eric was terrified of following down the same path. Olivia knew his mother was dead...which was almost how he had ended up. Funny how history repeats itself. But Olivia knew all, and by the time he was done updating her on his little adventure she knew exactly why he had left. But that didn’t mean she agreed with his decision at all.

“Godda—did I not tell you to be careful!? She lives here Eric,” Olivia’s hands finally uncrossed to gesture around the common space, “She’s not going anywhere. There’s no need to rush into it all and run yourself into the ground to try and impress her—if you needed the money why didn’t you just tell me?“

Yeah, no. He didn’t have an answer for her. Just a residual cough as he looked over to stare into the empty darkness of the television screen, “This is my fault...I pushed you to go after her...I thought you could manage yourself better…”
Why was she trying to take the blame for all this? And why was this starting to sound like a failed drug intervention?
”I’ll bring the money to him later. ”
”Olivia, no—“ he had responded so quickly he was literally choking on his own words. Oh god...Eric thought he was over the coughing fits but apparently not. After a little back and forth the two best friends settled on an agreeance that she would drive both of them over to Barking later. Strictly for drop off. There would be no engaging with Howard. Nothing. Olivia agreed that she didn’t like hanging onto all that cash anymore than he did. Although she failed to clarify when “later” would be.

”Well I’ve got to get to work. Lizzie will probably be up soon but do you need anything before I go?” And just like that she was back. As cross as she was with him, she couldn’t stop her internal Mama Bear from coming out, especially when it came to him. Eric only asked for water, their talk had sort of taken away his appetite. But this was Olivia and she returned to the kitchen where she prepared a quick but hopefully easy to eat breakfast for him. A cuppa tea as well. She knew her best friend. She knew he would appreciate having his morning tea. So after she poured her own coffee into a to-go tumbler and grabbed a water from the fridge she returned to set everything down on the table before him. Eric didn’t get a chance to thank her as she returned and passed the water over to him. The second his hand closed around the bottle Olivia had cut him off, ”You should know, I told Lizzie.”
Told Lizzie what? Panic raced through him as Eric looked up to her with that very question written on his face, ”That you don’t have a place of your own.” Well that was one way to put it, knowing Olivia though she probably hadn’t put it so gently when she told Lizzie.
”That’s all though. I didn’t say why or any specifics...you can tell her that yourself.”

Olivia left him with that thought circling the forefront of his mind. Lizzie knew...not much, but she knew. She knew and she hadn’t said anything this whole time, she hadn’t even admitted to it last night during his poor attempt at opening up. Why hadn’t she said anything? Why hadn’t he said anything? Why had it taken such drastic measures to bring them closer together?

Were they closer? Apart from that first day with Malcolm, Eric couldn’t remember a single waking moment that she hadn’t been at his side since they returned from Barking. Of course some of his memories were a little blurry or out of order...but still, they had been together non stop. She had even skipped class for him. Surely that meant something.

But the pang of waking up that morning to an empty room resurfaced and Eric suddenly felt all too alone there on the couch. Where was Lizzie and why wasn’t she here with him? Had Olivia asked her to stay away so they could talk? No that wasn’t an Olivia move, she preferred to corner him, not make a scene out of it. Had he said something to upset her last night? He would have thought that was the case but Olivia had just verified that Lizzie already knew basically everything he had thought he was confessing last night. She had already known, so why would that have suddenly upset her? No...this was something else. Or maybe it was nothing at all and Eric was just getting himself all worked up over nothing. Olivia had said Lizzie would be here soon. Maybe she was just sleeping. It was pretty early after all and she must’ve been exhausted after staying up with him at all the odd hours of the night. Yeah...that must be it. Lizzie was just sleeping in. And she more than deserved it. Calm down Eric...deep breath—okay not that deep you’re coughing again—but calm down—Lizzie!

Eric perked up much like a dog seeing their human when he saw Lizzie pass the double doors which Olivia had conveniently left open. Flat rules after all, they were awake so the doors were open. She hadn’t seemed to notice him but some shuffling noises told him she had gone over to the laundry. She would be back, he would wait.

”What’s that?” Clearly she was doing laundry, she was carrying a whole pile of it. But on top was some form of reading material and Eric was betting that that was what had been keeping her away all morning. She had skipped school for him, surely she had a lot to catch up on. He couldn’t expect her to spend every waking second with him. But...she had been...he had seen her reading or typing away on the other couch. Or even sometimes at his side, stroking his hair till she finally soothed him to sleep. She had been multi tasking the past few days just fine, so why was she suddenly isolating herself to read?

It seemed she hadn’t heard him, so he took the opportunity to rephrase his question, “What’re you reading?” Were those pages truly the culprit for why he hadn't seen her all morning? He really wanted to believe that; whether or not that was the case he knew that she probably needed to finish it but Eric couldn’t help himself, he had grown so used to having Lizzie at his side that he selfishly wanted her to stay in here with him. Why hadn’t she been here when he woke up?

That...had not been the reaction he was expecting. Never before had Lizzie been so unenthused to see him. She hadn’t sounded like she didn’t want to be there per say, but she certainly hadn’t sounded like she wanted to either. There was no “Oh you’re up!” “Morning babe, I was just trying to do some laundry before you woke up.” “Do you need anything? Here lemme go put this away real quick, I’ll be right back.”
Was she coming back? She hadn’t said so. But...well she must be, right? He managed a sip of his by now lukewarm tea while waiting for Lizzie to return, his breakfast only half finished.

He had been looking forward to being with Lizzie after all of Olivia’s lecturing, but there was something...off about Lizzie. Eric had hoped it was all in his head, but she only further confirmed it when she did at last rejoin him in the common room. This wasn’t like her, something was wrong. And that something was him, he could just feel it. She passed the sweater over but all Eric could muster was a soft, ”Thanks…” When he would have otherwise jumped to tell her all about how he had woken up cold and half naked; an exaggeration, he was only missing the sweater he unintentionally mirrored her lack of reaction and let his hands fall to his lap while she crossed to the other couch. Why was she sitting over there?

The obligatory “how are you” came next and Eric’s grip tightened on the freshly washed sweater. He didn’t mean to sound so spoiled, needy and selfish but...who was this and what had she done with his little American girl? Lizzie up till now had always been so physical—she would have come over to feel for his fever herself. To giggle over his bed head hair and try to tame any stray bits poking out in funny directions. But now she sat away from him and it was almost like she wasn’t entirely there.

He really wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she really was just tired, or maybe she in turn was getting sick. Eric knew deep in his heart that that wasn’t the case, but still he tried to change the subject away from him and back to her, ”What’s it about?” He nodded towards her, still not moving to put the sweater back on, ”Your manuscript. Not too much I hope?”

It didn’t really sound like anything he would be particularly interested in, but that didn’t mean Eric couldn’t make a conversation out of it, ”That sounds like it’ll make a good TV sh…” She had sighed. And not in the tired way, there was emotion behind it. What...was it something he had said? Eric was still in denial that this Not-Lizzie was being directed at him, not that he didn’t think he deserved it or anything, he just didn’t want it to be true.

Sorry Eric. It turned out to be entirely about him.

After Lizzie had said her piece Eric sort of just stared at her for a minute as he contemplated how to handle the situation. He hadn’t been prepared for this. He had pretty much known it was coming, but he hadn’t expected to receive it like this. What did she want to hear? He was getting dejavu—back to karaoke night when she had first asked for honesty between them. That had been a train wreck and the last thing Eric wanted was a repeat of that night. But he also wasn’t exactly ready to share what she was asking about. Would she see him differently if she knew all the things he had done over the years just to survive? Would she stay by him after finding out? She said she was in for it all, but she had no idea what “all” encompassed.

Olivia wasn’t simply his best friend as Lizzie had called her, she was all he’d known since he was a tiny toddler. Eric didn’t know life without her. He didn’t know how to open up to people who didn’t already know him inside and out. All his work and theatre friendships had always remained surface level—friends by convenience. He really hadn’t let anyone else into his life since his mother passed away...until now. Until Lizzie. Lizzie had been the first to breakthrough to him, and Olivia had seen it coming all along. She had warned him from the beginning to be careful, to be truthful—he clearly hadn’t listened to her very well.

He had probably paused for too long, Lizzie looked ready to say more by the time Eric‘s words finally, slowly as ever, left his mouth. The corner of his lip stiff as his cut had entered the scabbing phase of healing, ”I realize this probably sounds...cliche. But it’s not you...”
It’s not you it’s me.
Eric’s hand left the sweater to anxiously fiddle with the cross around his neck, ”It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s me I don’t trust—my life—I just don’t want to get you involved in anything you don't have to be. It's safer that way.”

Eric could hear her frustration in the silence that followed and was quick to cut her off before she could vocalize anymore of her disappointment in him; time for a different approach, ”Please…” Please just give him a chance to stumble through an explanation.
”Olivia isn’t just my best friend,” he was back tracking now through what Lizzie had said, stalling for time so he could think up how to save this—how to save them.
”You have such a large family Lizzie, and you’re so loved by them all...but I...I only have Olivia. I’ve known her just about my entire life and she’s the only family I can go to,” ignoring the fact that just brought out a whole new set of question marks, Eric carried on, ”I’m not—I’ve never shared anything...with anyone, ever. Only her. But it’s not that I don’t trust you. No, it’s quite the opposite actually...Lizzie I would trust you with my life—I have,” he had done nothing but trust her with his life the past few days as she sat by his bedside and battled away his relentless fever, ”It’s because of that...because I know you care. But there are things I can’t let you get involved in because—well because I care about you too.”

He had woken up feeling better, his coughing this morning had been mostly minimal, but geez...his throat was starting to remind him that he was in fact still sick and he paused to swallow almost painfully, his gaze slowly falling away from Lizzie as he willed himself through the next part of his story, “Do you remember that day you came by the hotel? That man that sat at the bar? I think I told you he was a regular?” Eric paused again, the words getting trapped in his throat as he dreaded everything he was about to say, “Well that’s not entirely true...his name is Howard...he was our landlord...I used to work for him to help my Mum pay rent and well, he asked me to come back for a while.”

This wouldn’t be enough of an answer for her. She wouldn’t be content with this; he knew it didn’t make sense. He had already admitted to being homeless so clearly he didn’t have any rent to be paying, what could he possibly be gaining by working for someone like Howard? She had voiced similar thoughts while Eric stared down at his hand, running his own thumb over the cross tattoo and fidgeting nervously until he finally found it in himself to cut her off, ”—he threatened you, Lizzie.” Eric had managed to lock eyes with her in that moment. The fear couldn’t be hidden. He hadn’t wanted Lizzie to ever hear of any of this. He would have taken the truth of his beaten, broken, pathetic excuse for a life to the grave if he could. But Lizzie was forcing his hand now in a way that was either lose his mask or lose her. And he couldn’t lose her. He would rather die.

“He noticed you…at the hotel bar. I was so scared he would drag you into all this—find some way to use you. I couldn’t let anything happen to you Lizzie, so—“ he stopped to cough as all this talking and emotion was irritating his throat and would surely take his voice if he didn’t stop soon and sip his tea, “So I left. To keep you safe. “

Eric was a little wobbly later as he got to his feet having not left the sofa for ...well… since Malcolm had insisted he eat in the kitchen last night. He hated this, feeling so weak all the time. The two of them had managed to come to some level of mutual understanding for now and it was Eric’s turn to excuse himself to leave. He needed to get out of that room and away from all the bottled up emotions threatening to overflow. He had only intended to go use the bathroom but after a good long look in the mirror he started the water for a shower. Without Lizzie’s help. His hair was a gross mess courteous of his fevers, he really needed to shave too.

The shower had worked wonders as far as his health was concerned but as Eric returned to the common area he could physically feel the distance between them now. And while all he wanted was to hold her and be held in return, he couldn’t bring himself to move any closer. He would follow Lizzie’s lead as far as rekindling their relationship went. Well, at least that was his intention. She mentioned making Lemsip before he lost the voice he had just gotten back and asked if he could bring his mug over to her in the kitchen. Eric hadn’t yet sat down, but he wasn’t mentally prepared to just carry on with life and pretend that they didn’t just have a whole tiff not twenty minutes ago.

He had towel dried his hair as best he could back in the bathroom but the cold, wet locks fell across his face as he leaned down to pick up his mug. Eric of course simply pushed his hair back as he always did on his way over to where Lizzie stood in the kitchen. His right arm extended out to hand her his partially filled abandoned mug of tea but after she took it and turned to the sink to rinse it out Eric found himself stuck. He was trapped, glued in place momentarily as he lifted his arm slightly to better see his injection site.

He was like a moth to the flame. The next thing he knew he was seeing his mother lying there on the kitchen floor. A part of him was scared to see her, but another part was so disassociated by now that he just watched completely unphased to stare death in the face. He had almost been that. He had almost died. And it was easy to blame Howard for it all, but was it really his fault? Was it Howard’s fault that his mother had been weak to addiction? No, it was his mum’s own fault. She should have fought it harder, done more to stay with him—to take care of him like a mother should. He had grown up hating her for so long for being how she was, but now he was literally turning into the very person he hated the most—no, not hate. He didn’t hate his mum—well, he did...but not like that... But now as he stood there in the kitchen staring down at the memory of his mother’s lifeless body he felt what Lizzie had been saying earlier. He had been in her shoes...more or less. He was putting her through all the same things he’d been through courtesy of his mother. How could he have been so bloody stupid…

There was no warning for either of them, Eric’s body moved on its own as he took the few steps to close the distance between him and Lizzie. Her back was still towards him while she prepared his drink and maybe now wasn’t the safest time but Eric had lost all self control. His hands wrapped around her tiny waist, pulling her back ever so slightly until there was no space in between them. This was what he had wanted this morning. What he had longed to have and instead ended up caught in a whirlwind of emotions. His eyes shut as he rested his head against hers. He exhaled slowly; his breath trembled as he fought to push the sight of his dead mum out of his thoughts.
”Thank you…” No he wasn’t thanking her for flavoring some boiled water for him. Well, he was….but no this was infinitely deeper than that. And his voice, though rough, was so soft he wondered if he had even said it out loud or if it remained a thought in his head.

She had heard it, and after sitting back down for a while with her and his Lemsip he found himself following her lead for real this time as she led him outside for a walk. It had been entirely Lizzie’s idea of course. She had said something about fresh air and that it would be good to move around some. Right...let’s see you be active after more or less confined to a couch for three...four...however many days he’d been in and out of consciousness in the common room. No Eric was not annoyed with Lizzie, not in the slightest. More so with himself and how weak he felt having been living off of soup and extra strength cold medicine for days now. He didn’t really have the energy to be going far, but he knew Lizzie was right and he should be trying to not be a couch potato all day. Plus all he wanted right now was to please her—to be with her—he would go anywhere for her. He would do anything for her. He would walk through fire for her.

So here he was, dressed in sweats and his Henley shirt with Lizzie’s sweater to keep him warm. Olivia had brought his hoodie in from the car but truthfully it was so old and worn that without the added layer of his now stolen jacket it didn’t do much to keep him warm outside of the flat. They went slow; well, Eric went slow and Lizzie matched his pace. It wasn’t like they were trying to get anywhere in particular. He didn’t care where they went so long as she stayed with him. Eric’s grip on her hand tightened ever so slightly, he wouldn’t let anything happen to her—happen to them.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 101318-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

She was in for this, for all of this. But, was she really?

The truth was out. Or at least as much of the truth as she could get out of Eric from her “confrontation.” Based on what he told her, was she really prepared for whatever it is that is making his life so difficult? Now that the curtain that was Eric’s life was gradually being pulled aside, was she really ready to be some part of it?

Honestly it was a lot of pressure for Lizzie to consider these questions. This was not at all what she signed up for when she proposed to Eric that they explore their feelings. She had to admit to herself that she walked into her own feelings for Eric with rose-colored glasses on. And from day one, it made her believe that nothing could ever be wrong with him. To her, he was perfect. Not only was he so handsome, but he was smart, creative and fun to be around. Every moment with him was an absolute treasure to her. So much so that even to this day, she will always replay the day they went to the ABC together. Or when they took over the kitchen island to edit his script. Or the first time looking at him made her heart flutter: on stage that first Flat Night Out. To her, he was perfect.

The sound of the shower running broke her thoughts for a moment. Lizzie blinked away from the cup of coffee she was making herself to stare at the kitchen wall sharing the bathroom. So Eric decided to take a shower. Okay, that’s good. A shower is always good after surviving the worst of a fever. This also gave her enough time to just...mull everything over.

She has never before felt like she knew enough and knew nothing at the same time. It surprised her that she got Eric to answer some of her questions. However, just because he finally told her something she didn’t know, it didn’t stop the other questions from coming. The flood gates that were the little world of Eric Oliver were slowly opening and making things bigger and more complicated.

Lizzie wanted to hold onto the belief that she knew everything about Eric. Their countless hours of meaningful conversation had to mean something. She really felt like she knew him enough to make the decision to commit to her feelings for him. In the couple of months they spent together, however scattered they may be, she really believed that he was worth basically giving him her heart.

After everything that happened that Tuesday night, however, did she still feel the same? Were his breathtaking blue eyes, creatively genius mind and heartwarming voice — both speaking and singing — still enough to make her fall hard despite his secrets and his shadowed past?

Lizzie’s throat closed up as she sucked in a deep breath. Oh no. She thought she was doing so well keeping a brave face. She forced herself to remain calm through Eric’s second round of semi-truth givings. Even when he blurted out that this Howard person she apparently sort of met threatened her without her knowing she was being threatened. She held on this long not giving away how frustrated she felt. All it took was Eric not being in the room for that facade to crack.

Too bad it came at such a terrible time.

“Morning,” came a voice from behind. Lizzie jumped and kept her focus on her untouched coffee cup as soft footsteps approached the kitchen. She sucked in another breath, ignoring how her throat once again closed up. She shut her eyes tight for a couple seconds at an attempt to prevent the tears from swelling up.

Lizzie kept up the act that everything was okay while Angel moved around the kitchen. She considered herself lucky that he planned accordingly and showered the night before. After the almost awkward situation with Ricki walking into the common room in the middle of their talk earlier — albeit distracted due to running late for work — she did not want to be stuck with Angel while he waited for the bathroom to be available. She did not believe she would be strong enough to hold on to her brave face in front of the flat’s gossip girl. So while Angel initiated small talk and asked about Eric’s condition, Lizzie remained as calm as possible. Just pretend that the only thing wrong was that Eric was not well.

She was only given a few minutes to regain some form of composure before she heard a door in the hallway open. It was either the bathroom or Malcolm taking his turn to go about his daily routine...whatever it was today. When she heard the coughing, she knew it was the bathroom and Eric was done with his shower.

The truth was that she was not prepared to keep calm and carry on. Between Eric’s shower and Angel’s arrival, she did not have enough time to let everything that happened between last night and this morning sink in. She was not ready to face Eric again. But she knew that she had to face him. The last thing she wanted to do was make it apparent to him that she was frustrated about all of this. It wasn’t fair to him. She got dragged into the mess and demanded answers and in turn the answers she got were at the brink of scaring her away. If there was anything she learned in the past few days, running away from Eric in fear was the worst thing to do. Look what it did for him last time.

The coffee she made during Eric’s shower still remained untouched and was now lukewarm. At this point she simply used the coffee cup as an excuse to have something to hold to keep her hands occupied. She needed to do something to force them to stop shaking for just one second.

Just keep calm and carry on. God, Lizzie was starting to think that phrase was so stupid. How the hell is she supposed to carry on after all this?

When she finally pulled her blank gaze away from a single spot on the kitchen island to watch Eric walk past the double doors, she noticed the awkward step he took toward her. It looked as if he had been in the process of joining her, but then changed his mind last minute. He was so close physically, but emotionally so far away.

As she watched him return to the couch, two scenes replayed in her mind almost simultaneously. The first, obviously, was their talk from earlier as he talked about his true relationship with Olivia and how Howard was more than just some phantom name that basically brought fear to anyone that knew it. The second was the day before he vanished for two weeks. Not the surprise visit to his work. No, she was remembering later that night; how he remained at her side from the moment he got off work to the last second before they said good night. She knew nothing then. All she thought back then was how romantic he was suddenly acting. She thought he was showing her that he was just as ready as she was to take their budding relationship to the next step.

God, how could she be so damn wrong? Why did it take such heartbreak and tragedy for her to know the truth?

Her mental beat down was disrupted by Eric’s cough. It honestly wasn’t that bad, but it was still enough to steer her thoughts somewhere else. Lizzie kept her voice low and she spoke slowly to cover up any signs that it might crack without warning. She had to put on her brave face once again; pretend that everything was going to be okay so long as she took care of him. Maybe she could use her nursing duties as a welcoming distraction from the reality of the situation.

The coffee was cold when she finally poured it into the sink along with the remainder of Eric’s tea from earlier. She focused all of her attention on washing the cups then drying off Eric’s to prepare it for the Lemsip she offered to make him. Maybe if she concentrated hard enough on the boiling hot water, she could ignore how heavy Eric’s presence was behind her. It became evident to her that simply keeping her back to him wouldn’t do the trick.

No, it definitely would not do the trick.

If Lizzie kept an eye on Eric, she would have been prepared for what came next. But since she didn’t, it was only natural that she jumped slightly as he suddenly came up behind and wrapped his arms around her. Her gasp caused a little discomfort to her already closed up throat. She forced back a tickling cough. For a few seconds, her body froze while Eric’s arms wrapped tighter around her until she felt his warm chest against her back. She mirrored his exhale, the first one she let out all morning. Had this been any other time two weeks ago, she would have melted in his arms already. Now, she just felt her heart break for him.

Lizzie shut her eyes tight as the tears finally fell. There weren’t many tears since she spent all morning fighting them back. And as he spoke two simple words in the smallest voice she ever heard from him, one hand reached up to cover her mouth and muffle a whimper while the other rested over his hands.

She was in for this…for all of this.

It was going to be a long and tough journey to fix this; to fix them. Lizzie accepted this as they walked hand in hand down the block for some needed fresh air. A sentimental cuddle in the kitchen and some fallen tears were not going to mend the secrets and heartbreak of the last couple days. But she knew now that she was willing to give it all she can to make things right between them. They’re never going to be the same Eric and Lizzie from two weeks ago; the Eric and Lizzie that agreed to take things slow and see where their shared feelings took them. They needed to evolve now if they wanted this to work.

After their mini stroll, Lizzie let Eric rest on the couch while she prepared for him some tea. Even though she suggested that they get some fresh air, she predicted that the October air would be a little too cold for Eric’s cough. “Here, drink this while it’s still hot,” she told him as she carefully placed the mug on the coffee table along with another bottle of water. “I noticed you ran out of Lucozade, do you want me to ask Olivia or Malcolm to get you some before they come home?” It honestly didn’t seem like Eric needed the electrolytes from the Lucozade, but she did notice how much he enjoyed the watermelon flavored one.

The drama of that morning eventually melted away some as the afternoon rolled in. Admittedly, the tension of the topics discussed still remained. There would be no getting rid of it anytime soon until Lizzie and Eric reached some mutual ground on the issues, but at least they can move past it for the time being. For the rest of the morning, Lizzie let Eric rest some while she went back to reading her manuscript. It suddenly dawned on her that she had less than twenty-four hours to read more than half of the manuscript and type up an acceptable report for her Saturday morning meeting.

She didn’t un-stick her nose out of the manuscript until sometime after one. Her head was heavy with too much information and her eyes were just so tired. But at least she managed to read enough of the manuscript to skim the rest, skip to the ending and write her report. But the report would come later. She deserved a break.

Lizzie craned her neck to the other couch to check on Eric. As expected, in the couple or so hours he spent napping, the blanket was almost immediately abandoned once the space heater turned on. He really did not need her sweater, the blanket and the space heater to combat the cold UK October weather. She was starving and she wondered if she should wake him so they could have lunch together. Surely he had to be hungry too.

In the end, she chose to wake him. Even if he was now out of the woods and probably dealing with a lingering cough, it was better for him to take one more day of medication just to be safe. After putting her things back in her bedroom, Lizzie walked over to his couch and carefully sat at the edge. Just like the morning before, she reached over to pull his hair out of the messy bun and combed her fingers through the now curly locks to alleviate any pressure.

She kept brushing his hair until he eventually stirred from his nap. As he opened his eyes, she stopped momentarily to let him go through the process of waking up. “Hey,” she greeted softly. “Let’s not try to ruin your sleep schedule too much. I’m really not tryna depend on Night Nurse when you might not even need it tonight.” She then scooted closer to brush the hair that fell in front of his face as he adjusted his position.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m empty. Let’s have lunch?” Eric seemed okay with this request. “Anything you want in particular? I really don’t think you’re that sick that you need to resort yourself to soup for a third day…” Lizzie made a face thinking about how if she were in Eric’s shoes she would have been over soup long ago.

After skimming through various options on the Deliveroo website, Lizzie and Eric agreed on Italian. While they waited for their food to arrive, Lizzie briefly excused herself to deal with the laundry she pulled out of the dryer before their walk and completely forgot about when they returned. She didn’t exactly “deal” with the laundry. What she ended up doing was transferring the laundry basket from the laundry room to her bedroom with the intention of folding her clothes and putting them away later tonight. Let’s just forget that she also decided to work on her report during that “later tonight” time period. Here is to hoping she doesn’t stay up too late getting everything done.

Since they still had a bit of time left before their food arrived, Lizzie proposed that they once again continue with their Harry Potter marathon. They were making such good progress and she was certain they could at least finish the fifth and sixth movies before any of the other flatmates returned.

Harry and the extraction team just arrived at Grimmauld Place when their food finally arrived. “Come on, let’s eat at the table,” Lizzie suggested as she carried the bags of food to the dining table. “So I should probably warn you, I may have ordered, like, an extra order of breadsticks. I didn’t know if you were one of those people that, like, fight over the last breadstick or something.”

They ate and enjoyed their lunch with the movie still playing. Lizzie was relieved that Eric was eating well again after the sick soup diet. He even seemed to enjoy the breadsticks more than his pasta. She was also relieved to see that things between them were continually getting better. Sure, every now and then she’ll recall their talk this morning, but the fact that they were able to push past it without breaking up — or whatever is the equivalent of breaking up in their situation — she considered this a win. Naturally, with a Harry Potter movie playing, they fell back into their routine of discussing it. Lizzie’s input: They really did Cho Chang dirty just so they didn’t have to explain some side details and no, that doesn’t excuse the fact that Cho Chang was honestly the worst first crush choice for Harry. He’s honestly better off crushing on Luna.

If lunch reassured her that they were going to be okay, starting the next movie basically confirmed it to Lizzie. It all started with an offhand comment. When they returned to the living room area after lunch to finish Order of the Phoenix, Lizzie took her spot on the smaller couch so that Eric could lay down on the other. It was around the time the gang sneaked off to the Ministry when Lizzie made her and Eric some tea that she was invited to sit with him on his couch. For the rest of the movie, they sat cuddled together under his blanket. However, after changing discs to start up Half-blood Prince, Lizzie commented that it must not be comfortable watching TV for as long as they were on his couch since they have to basically crane their necks to watch. That comment resulted in the both of them laying down on his couch. Yes. Together.

But, hey, at least it was no longer a struggle to focus on the television without needing to rest their necks. The problem now, at least for Lizzie, was keeping her focus on the movie now that they were laying down together, cuddling on his couch.

Yeah, they were going to be just fine.

Despite the cramped space, Lizzie was rather comfortable in this position with Eric. So comfortable, in fact, that she ended up falling asleep just before Harry successfully pulled the true memory from Slughorn. When she came to again, Malfoy just let Bellatrix and the other Death Eaters into Hogwarts through the Vanishing Cabinet. She naturally moved to adjust her position to better wake herself up. This, however, caused her to stiffen for a second while her body righted itself before she could fall off the couch. Once her body relaxed, she returned to her previous position while tightening Eric’s arm around her; almost like a seatbelt.

They remained together like this on the couch until the first flatmate returned. The movie finished long ago, but the menu screen was still up when Ricki popped her head in from the double doors. Lizzie caught the strange look her roommate shot them right before she rushed into their room. She could have sworn she heard her giggle or something before the door closed.

Just like every other instance when their alone time was disrupted by the arrival of the others, Lizzie was transported back to reality. And the reality was that she still had half a load of laundry to fold and put away and she still has not touched her second report for work.

But at the same time, being with Eric on the couch was just so comfortable.

In the end, it was reality that won. The evening was quickly coming upon them and it was always the trend that when one flatmate arrives, the others come soon after. Lizzie was certain that based on her behavior the last few days, Olivia would not be too thrilled seeing her best friend and her flatmate cuddling the way they were right now. So after a bit of coaxing on Lizzie’s part, she slid off the couch to grab her laptop from her bedroom. She once again made camp on the shorter couch while Eric too got up on his feet to move about a bit.

For the rest of the evening, Lizzie was back in work mode. Since she spent most of the day focusing only on Eric, she worked until the late hours to finish her work for her internship. Every so often she would switch between couches just so that she could keep some form of physical contact with Eric. It was either in the form of letting him rest his head on her lap as she typed or just sitting next to each other. Eventually, she succeeded in finishing her report whether it presented itself well or not. As long as she got the point across.

After preparing her things for her meeting the next morning, Lizzie went to the bathroom for a shower. It wasn’t that late that she feared she might oversleep, but considering how much sleep she lost when Eric was sick, she just didn’t want to risk it.

When she walked out of the bathroom half an hour later, she overheard voices coming from the common room. Actually, it was one voice. The moment she turned the corner and stood at the double doors, the voice stopped. Olivia was once again seated in the same spot from that morning. She also wore the same serious expression. This had to do with all that Howard and Barking business. Lizzie was certain of it. But did she dare ask them?

“Uh, good night…” Lizzie said simply. She then looked over at Eric, tempted to say screw it to Olivia and give him a proper good night greeting. Just like that Friday night so long ago, only better. She would kill to kiss him again.

In the end, she offered the two friends a shy smile and a wave then retreated to her room for the night.

The following morning, Lizzie was up just as her alarm went off. For someone that was a fairly early riser out of years of habit, she wondered why it was so difficult to get up for her meetings. Regardless of the reason, Lizzie forced herself out of bed to change for her internship. She rummaged through her tote to check that her manuscripts and her reports were still packed inside from last night. Just in case she didn’t just dream that she packed them.

She was shocked to find that Eric was also awake when she saw that the double doors were already open. “You’re up already?” she asked, although it was more as a comment than a question. She moved over to the kitchen, dropping her tote on the kitchen island while she prepared a quick breakfast and a coffee to take to go. As much as she wanted to just go to the cafe on the way to the station, she really needed to start setting some kind of budget on eating out. She seemed to be doing that a lot since she moved to London. ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 101618-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie & angel
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

Oh how he would kill to rush past Olivia, pick up Lizzie and whisk her away to their own private island full of peculiarities for them to discover together. But it seemed neither of them were quite brave enough to work around his bear of a best friend as Lizzie bid her good nights from the doorway and Eric was left with that longing feeling once again. It looked like it would be another night of falling asleep by himself. Once Lizzie had left Olivia returned her focus to him with a look in her eyes that clearly was telling him to be careful.

”She should know...”
”Eric, no. I’m telling you—it’s enough to process as it is.”
”You didn’t see her this morning Olivia...if she finds out on her own—“
”Fine! Tell her if you like.”
Why were they fighting like this? Why was it when he was on good terms with Olivia there was a road bump between him and Lizzie. But after smoothing things out with Lizzie, now Olivia was at odds with him. Why couldn’t he get on with both of them at once? He knew Olivia was just trying to look out for him. He knew very well that she had absolutely nothing against Lizzie. But he wasn’t exactly in an easy situation to navigate. His options were to essentially keep hiding things from Lizzie after she had just told him how excluded she felt. Or tell her everything and hope she didn’t didn’t get completely overwhelmed, change her mind and back out on him. Olivia was right. This was a lot to keep putting on her. Finding out he was homeless was one thing, but then the church? Mentioning how dangerous Howard was? If she were to find out he had been transporting illegal drugs would she still feel the same? The other things were more or less unfortunate circumstances of life. But being Howard’s errand boy and everything that came with it? That was completely on him. Then there was also the other half of telling her, the part that then endangered her just for knowing the truth. He knew Olivia was right, as usual, and that he couldn’t tell her about Barking right now. But Eric had always been more emotionally driven than logic, and so even though he knew it wasn’t the right time to tell Lizzie, all he wanted more than anything in the world was to please her right now. She had said so herself, that she was in for all of it.This conflict was releasing a whole damn tornado of butterflies in his stomach as Olivia got up saying she was going to bed now.

Eric had a disaster of a time trying to fall asleep once he was alone in the living room. Lizzie had said she wanted to avoid dosing hm with Night Nurse but as 2am approached Eric was beginning to wish she had. Or maybe he just wished for her presence. After all, it wasn’t like he was awake because his cold was bothering him, he was awake because of this ache in his heart that only she could soothe. And because of the stress eating away at him.

Would dropping off the money be enough really be enough? Would Howard let him return to his life and old payment schedule? Would his manager at the hotel take him back? What was his troupe doing now without him? He’d been able to ignore all these stresses when he was too sick to worry about anything else. But now that it was clear he wasn't going to die or something he had to face everything in his life he had run from. Lizzie had taken him back. Maybe everyone else would too?

He didn’t feel anywhere near well rested when he woke up a few hours later. After so many days and nights back to back spent in and out of sleep, suddenly cutting down to less than five hours was brutal. Well, the curtains were drawn back on his life now. It was time to wake up from the fairytale dream he’d been in and get back to reality. He would miss these days later. Not the emotional drama obviously. But staying here, just the two of them while Lizzie showered him with her golden adoration. Not that he was expecting that to change. No no. He just...it had been nice to have this mini staycation—a holiday of sorts. As stressed as he had been, it felt good to not have to do anything or be anywhere. Everyday he got to wake up to Lizzie and—okay well she wasn’t here now...he was alone again. As usual. And he had to go deal with that today. Eric almost wished he was still sick now; like beyond this residual cough. That cold medicine high combined with Lizzie running her fingers through his hair...he would miss that feeling all day today. Her face would be all he would think about.

As if he had summoned her from his thoughts alone, Lizzie’s voice filled the previously empty common space and Eric turned away from his couch where he had been folding his blanket. He didn’t want to leave now. Olivia would no doubt be ready soon but all Eric wanted to do was take Lizzie by the waist, pull her onto the sofa with him and just hold her. Fall asleep with her. Maybe kiss her first...it was a good thing Lizzie had kept walking past cause had she come over to him first he might not have been able to restrain himself and then neither of the, would have been able to go about their day.

Well his self control was absolute shot with Lizzie around. He had trailed after her into the kitchen with a simple, ”Mm,” as he mused to himself whether or not to tell her his plans for the day. If he were to be honest, he was completely scared at the idea of telling her, but he was having severe deja vu standing here in the kitchen with her. Just yesterday morning they had been here through a rather emotional moment; but hadn’t that meant they had moved past it? Or through it?

She was here, for all of it.

Eric reached out to take her hands, stopping her briefly from her morning rush and holding her in place. His head was tilted down to watch their hands while he braved on, “I uhm, was going to go back to work today after…”
After what? Dammit Eric. Deep breath, okay try again, “Olivia’s going to take me to Barking.“
The “why” question was coming, Eric could feel it—anddd there it was, but he just ever so slightly shook his head as he braved meeting her eyes “Not now...I will, one day, his voice then quickly dropped to a level strictly between them, or was it just that his scratchy sick voice got the better of him? ”I promise,” careful there Eric, don't go making promises you’re not comfortable with or creating expectations you run risk of letting down. You do understand what you're committing to right now, don’t you? “But not today.”

His hands squeezed her’s now as he tried to convince himself that this was the right thing to do right now. Tell her that something was on without disclosing any details, surely that was okay? Surely Olivia would accept that. And surely Lizzie would respect the boundary he had just put up after yesterday’s talk. He was trying here, he was trying so hard, but there was a frustratingly fine line between what he could and couldn’t share right now.

”Eric,” Olivia stood in living area just a few steps from the double doors, purse across her body and keys in hand, ”Morning Lizzie. Hey c’mon, let’s go, I can’t be late. Wrap it up and meet me outside?”

Having been up early again that morning, Eric was already dressed by the time Lizzie had come in. Well, as dressed as he could be considering his situation as of late. His already small closet was now limited to whatever Olivia had brought back from his car on Tuesday night. So he wore simple jeans and a dark flannel, dressed up enough to leave the flat without looking like a slob but still comfortable.
”Right, I should go before she…” Eric offered a slight smile, the cut corner of his mouth painful teasing at the joke he would never tell. Before she grounds me or something, Mum’s, am I right? Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. He really needed to stop with the dark humor about his Mum.
”Later then, yeah?”
Yeah. He’d see her later. He was coming back to the flat. Eric kept telling himself that as a fear began to settle in the bottom of his stomach. What if he didn’t make it back? There was no telling how this would go down in Barking. Okay Eric, c’mon now. Let her go, Olivia is waiting. He hesitated a moment longer, not wanting to leave but also not knowing the right way to say goodbye.
”Have a good day love,” a quick kiss to her cheek and another moment of hesitation and then he finally was able to pull himself away, grabbing her purple sweater from the living area on his way out the door.

”You told her, didn’t you?” Eric said nothing in response as he climbed into the passenger seat beside Olivia, he didn’t want to get back into this right now.

Their first stop was Eric’s car so that he could get his work clothes, as well as his iPod which Olivia insisted he grab. It was then decided that Eric would move his car so it didn’t just sit here looking abandoned for another week. But when he turned the key in the ignition...it wouldn’t start. It was fine, just a slight setback. Olivia had jumper cables and they had the little red automobile revving in no time. They waited a little while to let the battery charge up but soon found a new parking spot and Eric was then hopping back into Olivia’s car.
“Keys,” as she held out her hand expectantly, “Seriously?” Olivia gave no verbal answer, just a raise of her eyebrows as she extended her hand an inch closer to reiterate her request; she was serious.

They managed to keep the car ride to Barking fairly painless. That is to say, they didn’t dredge up difficult conversations or complicated feelings as much as possible. They’d done that enough last night and it would circle back to them soon enough. Eric just wanted his best mate back without her fretting over his every breath. Whatever talking they had been up to however quickly vanished as Olivia turned the corner into their neighborhood. It looked less creepy during the day. There were mothers out pushing prams, children on bicycles, an elderly man walking his equally graying little Dachshund. It looked normal, not at all like the dark horror of a place Eric knew it to be.

And just like that they were there. Eric’s head rested against the window of the car like a child bored of a long car ride. Olivia meanwhile reached into her purse to pull out a blank envelope that was clearly stuffed full, ”Stay in the car.”
She left the car running as she walked up towards Howard’s front door, and Eric watched her back until his mum’s flat came into sight and then he found he couldn't look away. There was this numbness as he stared across at his childhood home, a sort of disconnected feeling as though he no longer belonged here. Which was technically true, but it still wasn’t a good feeling. He pulled his attention back to Olivia now as she stood in front of Howard’s door—hold up. A family had just crossed his line of vision and for whatever reason he was compelled to look away from Olivia to follow them as they walked...right...up...to...his...mum’s...door. They all looked so happy together, coming back from a lovely Saturday morning stroll, and it honestly sort of hurt to see. That house was a place that Eric associated with a lot of painful memories, so to see others living so obliviously to all that had happened there...

He forced an exhale to try and clear his thoughts as he looked back once more to where Olivia stood. Only she no longer stood alone. Howard was leaning against his doorframe now, arms crossed with the envelope in his hands while Olivia appeared to be going on about something. The second he saw this Eric was scrambling with the door handle and getting out, Olivia and Howard both alerted to his presence at the sound of the car door opening.
”Eric, get back in the car.” Olivia was pointing at him, he knew that tone of voice and he knew her seemingly endless confidence was wavering. Another step towards them had her leaving Howard’s door and marching straight over towards him while behind her Howard smirked, ”Eric! Good to see you. Was beginning to worry about you.”
The two males had locked eyes now with Eric still walking towards them until Olivia had met him halfway and now put her hand to his chest to try and push him back towards the car. She was repeating for him to get in the car, ignore him, let’s go—”It’s just the two of you then? Where’s the American?”
Olivia was now shoving hard against Eric, fighting to get him to drop this before it turned into something more.
”Eric!!”

Olivia wasted no time in pulling a u-turn once she finally got him in the car and had jumped into the driver’s seat herself, ”You said just a drop off—no contact!”
”I know, I’m sorry Eric I—“
”What did you tell him?”
”Eric—“
”What did you tell him?”

The drive back towards Central London was much more charged than the initial trip had been. But by the time they were back in the bustling city the friends had both calmed down respectively. Olivia had apparently made some warning towards Howard to not drag Eric back into his life. Not that she was much of a threat to the older man, just protective of her friend. She had been trying to come to an agreement of sorts with Howard to let Eric off the hook for disappearing when Eric had interrupted them. So there was no telling how that would play out.
Eric on the other hand was worried for Lizzie all over again now as Howard had mentioned her directly. It took a great deal of reassuring on both ends; Eric promising he wouldn’t go off on his own, Olivia promising she would check up on Lizzie later. But by the time Olivia had parked her car outside of a Boots they had come to a mutual agreement that for now the best course of action was no action.

”You want anything?” Eric shook his head, hands turning over the iPod in his hands as it charged, ”Alright, I won’t be long.” She hesitated to leave him alone, the trust between them still rocky after the past few weeks. But true to her word, once Olivia had entered the store she was back not five minutes later and then driving them off to Eric’s hotel.

After Olivia shifted the car into park for the last time on their outing, Eric moved to unlock his door only for Olivia to tell him, ”Wait,” and followed shortly with, ”Pass me the bag.” Eric did as he was told, sitting still now as he watched her rummage through her shopping bag until she found what she was looking for and held up a small compact foundation in one hand with a tube of color corrector in the other.
”Olivia no—“
”Eric James Oliver,” oh no, she was using his full name, ”You’ve been gone two weeks and you’re just going to waltz on in there with—well quite honestly you look like shit, sorry.”
”Anyways come here,” Olivia talked him through which to use first and technique advice while she went about covering his black eye, her stiff British lip unaffected as Eric tried to move away when the bruising hurt to touch, ”Oh stop it.”

There wasn’t much to be done for his lip but she covered what she could and instructed him to just say he’d had a fall. Eric gave her a skeptical look at the cliche explanation which just earned him a slap on his shoulder before she passed the products over to him, ”Fine, then you think of a better story. You know how to use them, yeah? I can’t do your make up for you every morning.”
Thank you years and years of theatre. Yes, Eric could apply the make up himself, though no where near as skillfully as Olivia of course. But it would at least get the job done, ”Right, go on then. Get out. You’ve got beds to make and tables to bus.” Eric literally did neither of those things in a standard shift but he appreciated Olivia helping acclimate him back to his normal life and trying to send him off on a good note so after a kiss on her cheek he was on his way with a quick, ”Cheers.”

Today was just full of emotional talks, pleading and withholding of the truth, but Eric managed to successfully reclaim his job after a solid twenty minute sit down with his manager. Once reinstated there was no time to waste. He was quickly put to work—overworked in fact. But it wasn’t their fault, they didn’t know he’d been deathly ill all week. Eric really didn’t have the energy to keep up with his workload and by the time he left bout a quarter past seven he was absolutely exhausted. His coughing had alerted the flat when he finally got back and Lizzie was quick to come meet him in the hallway. A sigh of relief escaped as they embraced. Lizzie was here, and Lizzie was safe; though he couldn’t help but wonder if Olivia had mentioned what happened in Barking. Malcolm had apparently made dinner earlier and leftovers were saved for him, but after eating Eric was out like a light. No stressful thoughts to keep him up, and no need to Night Nurse to put him to sleep. His holiday was over, Eric had entered back into his fatigue inducing lifestyle and Eric was the first to fall asleep that night.

It seemed as though the cough was here to stay. The next couple days were very on and off spent battling it. He had come home that first night coughing up a storm but it was nothing a good cuppa tea couldn’t soothe to help him get to sleep. In the morning he seemed fairly fine, like he was getting better. More tea. But the hours spent away from the flat; the cold October air and constantly talking at work as he ran around the hotel would irritate his throat and he’d return to the flat in the middle of the night and cough himself to sleep. Twice Angel had commented on it, by the third day he was taking matters into his own hands.

Eric had returned to the flat late Tuesday morning to the rumbling sound of the washing machine. That itself wasn’t too odd, someone must be home and doing their laundry. But when he turned the corner into the common room he found that his blanket was gone, the pillows stripped of their covers and there was a heavy scent of Dettol in the air. Someone had been deep cleaning. But apart from the washer Eric didn’t hear any other sounds in the flat right now. He was honestly too tired to try and figure out a better alternative as he dragged his feet across the room to the larger sofa; he was used to living in his car, he didn’t need the blanket or pillows to get to sleep. Although if he’d had them then maybe he would have been able to enter a deeper stage and not be awakened at the sound of the door down the hallway. Eric rolled over to look towards the door to see Angel walk past. Not Lizzie.

He hadn’t even taken off his boots earlier but managed to do so now before turning so his back was to the doors and he curled up as best he could given his size. Eric managed to knock back out until the next time the front door closed. This time it was Lizzie and Eric had turned once again towards the doors when she walked in. He held his arms open as though requesting she come fill them. He groaned out an incoherrant attempt at speaking, either hey love or Lizzie or morning, some form of greeting. But when Lizzie did come over he used his recently recovered strength to pull her down beside him on the couch. Eric’s leg wrapped slightly over her as he held her close—she was so much warmer than he had been the past few hours here on the couch. He coughed, though slightly muffled by the amount of hair currently in his face, ”Missed you...” One of his hands had found hers and intertwined their fingers while he let his eyes close, maybe now he could finally get some decent sleep.

”Ahem,” that was Angel, ”I’ve just spent all morning cleaning the place so I’d appreciate if you two lovebirds don’t go and make a mess out here, yeah?” Eric could tell from his voice that he was alluding to something more than just level of tidiness or speaking hygienically about his cold. Angel was talking about something much more intimate which only made Eric hold Lizzie closer, thankful that his face was hidden behind her so no one could see the shy smile that had formed, ”Ugh, shove off Angel.”​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 101618-----------❖ LOCATION — lizzie's room-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

“Where the hell have you been?” Wow, what a greeting. Lizzie shifted in her seat slightly as two of her best friends got themselves comfortable and situated in front of whatever screen they were using for their video chat.

“Where’s Jade?” Lizzie asked, choosing to ignore the overdramatic greeting. She was sure Katie was just being silly.

Lacey explained that their missing friend was currently on a date...or that she was staying over at her date’s place. After a quick calculation to determine what time it was in California, Lizzie assumed it was probably the latter. Jade was never known to have day dates unless she was dating someone exclusively for a while. As far as she was aware, Jade had not been exclusively dating since last year.

There was only so much Lizzie can get Katie and Lacey to talk about Jade’s dating life before the other two put a hard pause on it to return attention back to her. They were quick to point out to her that they had not heard a word from her practically all last week. Save for the mandatory Snap Streak posts, but even then Lizzie mainly sent her best friends pictures of her at school or work. They were obviously eager and itching for more Eric updates.

That was a tough topic to discuss for Lizzie. Obviously Katie and Lacey were her best friends and were on the side of Pro-Eric. If there were any two people she could tell about what was really going on between her and Eric, it would be them. But she knew deep down that was not really the case. There were truths and details that she knew that she was responsible to keep in confidence. Just like Olivia pointed out that night they went to find him, what she knew was a truth that she was not at liberty to share.

So how to go about giving her best friends the details they were dying to hear.

After some consideration, she decided to follow Eric’s lead in regards to her truth giving: give only a little bit and hope that it was enough to satisfy them. At least she wouldn’t be lying.

She told them about Eric’s cold the past week and how she was trading shifts with Malcolm and Olivia to take care of him. When Katie asked if that meant she spent a lot of time at his place, Lizzie was hesitant for a second. If she told them the truth about him staying at the flat the entire week, would they ask why? She decided to give her best friends the benefit of the doubt. After all, this was Katie and Lacey she was talking to right now. If Jade was on the call with them, she would definitely be giving her the third degree interrogation about every detail regarding Eric.

“Where is Eric now?” Lacey asked. Lizzie watched as she craned her neck as if that would help her see if Eric was sleeping on her bed or something.

“At work? He left, like, an hour ago. Olivia gave him a ride to the hotel,” she answered.

“You didn’t go with them?” Katie asked now.

Lizzie shook her head. “No. Olivia wasn’t going to come back home after dropping him off, so there was no point. Plus I’m, like, hella behind on all my school work from taking care of him all week.”

“Girl,” called out Katie with a grin and a laugh, “Are you two dating already and you forgot to tell us? It’s not been a month yet and you’re already choosing him over school.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes. “It’s not like that. He was sick. I couldn’t just leave him to be miserable.” Her defense was met with “uh huhs” from both girls. Lizzie responded with another eye roll.

“So,” Lacey started sometime later after leaving for a moment to feed Marie, “you and Eric? That’s serious now? Even after two weeks of not seeing each other, it sounds like you two just went right back into where you guys left off. No, like, awkwardness or whatever?”

“Uh, no, not really,” Lizzie said simply. Obviously, she knew she was lying. But it was another situation that she knew it was not the right time to tell the whole truth to her friends. Maybe one day. Maybe. But it was still too early and too raw to acknowledge that what she knew now was really real.

For all she knew, things were back to normal now. Eric came back to the flat with his job at the hotel and in one piece. He was even the same tired poor thing that she remembered before he disappeared. Only, she knew now why that was so. But for now, she refused to give Eric’s situation with this Howard guy anymore thought than it needed. He said himself that one day he would tell her what she needed to know, not now. Maybe, just maybe, that was for the best. And for the sake of what they had together, she wanted so badly to give him that benefit of the doubt.

That, however, did not stop her from being just a little bit paranoid anytime this Howard guy became a blip in her thoughts. That Saturday had her in a ball of nerves the whole day. She barely had the ability to focus in her Saturday morning meeting at her internship knowing that Eric and Olivia were back at that place dealing with whatever business they brought back with them last Tuesday. It was torture for her not being able to call or text Olivia for any updates. And it was killing her that she had no way of reaching out to Eric to check that he was okay.

But aside from Eric and Olivia’s safety, Lizzie worried for her own safety as well. She was probably overreacting, but since Eric told her why he left, she found herself needing to look over her shoulder every so often whenever she was outside the flat. That Saturday morning on her way to her internship was the worst case of it. Just being on the train into Central London had her nervous and she freaked herself out thinking that anyone on the train with her could be that Howard guy or someone associated with him. She would never admit to either Eric or Olivia how deep and scary her thoughts became just trying to piece together what the hell Eric meant when he told her that she had been threatened that day at the hotel. If only she remembered what this guy looked like.

Despite her excuse to the girls about staying home to study, Lizzie remained on the video chat for a couple of hours. Jade never joined, apparently too hungover from the date the night before. Lizzie could not wait to hear about this whenever she could get the girl online. Until then, there was a lot of ground to cover just between her, Katie and Lacey. With the swim season just around the corner for their school, Katie took the weekend off from training to return home to see her family. Or more than likely it was to see her horses. Her family apparently comes from a very long line of horse lovers and have had their ranch for generations. Once the season starts, Katie would never have the time to go home until later next year. As for Lacey, she announced rather enthusiastically that she would finally be doing some international work after booking an European campaign. Naturally after the group call, Lizzie and Lacey continued to talk so they could schedule a possible time to meet when she goes to Paris next January. Lacey made it a point to add that she was very excited to meet Eric. As if she was certain she would get the chance to.

After her catch up session with her friends, Lizzie spent the rest of that Sunday trying to keep herself as busy as possible. As mentioned before, she was still fairly paranoid that something would happen to Eric while he was not with her in the flat. When she wasn’t forcing herself to read her assignments for school, she was constantly checking her phone for any kind of update from Eric. Each time he sent her a text letting her know how he was doing, she would breathe a sigh of relief.

That Saturday after he came back from work, Olivia stormed right through their happy reunion to insist that the two exchange numbers. Apparently she thought it ridiculous that their only form of communication after all this time was through Instagram direct messages. That was how Lizzie found out about the iPod. It all made so much sense to her now.

Monday came with a welcoming distraction for Lizzie. Sure, she was still partially nervous to be heading to school that morning, but it wasn’t as bad as last weekend. Since both Eric and Olivia seemed to be just fine after their trip to Barking, she gradually reassured herself that the Howard stuff was behind all of them and that they could hopefully move on from there. Keyword: hopefully. Either way, Lizzie was relieved that she could focus her mind on school until her next happy reunion with her Eric at the end of the day. As he had his usual schedule at the hotel, he had an overnight shift later and she wanted to get as much time with him until Tuesday afternoon. Cue all of the couch cuddles until they made everyone in the flat sick. God she was going to miss him so much.

When she arrived back at the flat that Tuesday afternoon, Lizzie was a mess with anticipation. She could not wait to see Eric again. It was hard to believe that before those couple weeks when he disappeared, she managed to be okay without him for days at a time. Now, she could hardly go twelve hours without dying to see him again. Luckily for her, he was right where she expected him to be; sans a couple usual items, but they were not important. The blanket didn’t matter to her so long as the owner was home.

Had she been able to control herself, Lizzie would have made a detour trip to her room to put her stuff away and change. Obviously that wasn’t the case. As soon as she saw that Eric was in the common room on his couch, she dumped her bag on the other couch and went right over to him. She completely ignored (or forgot) to take off the extra layers of clothes she had on. It was starting to get much colder in London. A bright smile spread across her face as she joined Eric on his couch. As he pulled her into a cuddle moments later, she could not suppress the giggle that came in response.

Despite the layers of clothing, Lizzie considered herself very comfortable in Eric’s arms. This was exactly what she waited all day for. And she would have stayed this way if it were not for the rather rude interruption from Angel. She didn’t even know Angel was here. Didn’t he have work?

But alas, their moment of cuddly bliss was put to an end and Lizzie was pulled back to earth and the realization that her extra layers and Eric’s own body heat was making her too hot for comfort. When Angel left the open double doors to return to his room, Lizzie struggled slightly to untangle herself from Eric’s long limbs. An extra wiggle later, she felt the couch escape from under her back and next thing she knew she was laid out on her side on the floor. The common room was filled with her laughter as she pushed herself up into a sitting position.

“You know what,” she started after she stood up from the floor and took a seat on the other couch. “Let’s just hang out in my room today. I don’t want to give Angel the benefit of cockblocking again. At least until your blankets and stuff are done in the laundry.” If Eric had any objections to this suggestion, Lizzie didn’t really give him time to point it out. As soon as she voiced this suggestion, she grabbed her bag and led the way out of the common room to her bedroom. It wasn’t like he was a complete stranger to her room. He’s been in there once already.

The first thing she did when she walked into her room was turn on the space heater. It was moved back into her room last weekend despite Lizzie’s protest that Eric probably needed it more than she did. She had been surrounded on all fronts when told that Eric was a big boy and could handle the cold. She also completely missed the subtle knowing tone in Olivia’s voice when her flatmate pointed this argument out. Whether it was on purpose or not, it was better for Lizzie to just not think about how Eric slept in his car whenever he wasn’t sleeping at the flat. That was all in the past after all. She refused to have him return to sleeping in that car if it was the last thing she did.

“So, how was work?” she asked while taking off her layers until she was just in her long sleeve and work pants. She’ll worry about changing into some at home clothes later. Lizzie sat cross-legged on the bed beside Eric. For a good hour or so, the two caught each other up about what happened during their time apart. And for that entire time, neither broke any form of physical contact; which was mostly holding hands.

When they could no longer keep the conversation going about how work went, Lizzie was quick to suggest that they should finally finish their Harry Potter marathon. She was notably more excited about the prospect of this idea as she explained to Eric that they did not even have to return to the living room to finish the final two films. She told him that her own copies of the DVDs came with digital copies and thus she had them saved on her laptop. Save for the obvious downgrade in screen size, they could stay in her room all warm and toasty - yes, her exact words - and not have to worry about Angel interrupting them at any random moment.

It was a divide and conquer team effort to set up for movie time. While Eric ventured back out into the common room to grab drinks and snacks, Lizzie fixed up her bed so that the pillows were against the wall. He returned just as she set up Deathly Hallows Part One on her laptop. She waited for him to put the drinks and snacks on her desk and then get comfortable beside her before she hit Play. As soon as the WB logo appeared on the laptop screen, Lizzie scooted closer to him and reached over to take his hand in hers and rest it on her lap. For Lizzie, they must keep some form of physical contact at all times.

After getting through a third of the movie, Lizzie found it difficult to focus on whatever was happening. She was now resting her head against his shoulder, arms wrapped loosely around his arm. Her mind was distracted by how intimately alone they were right now. Whenever they were in the flat, they were always spending time together out in the common room. The last time they were together in her room, she was aware that it was during their awkward crush phase; unsure how close was too close or if it was okay to even be close. Now, all they ever wanted to do was be glued to each other. They really have come a long way since last month. Their talk about testing their feelings for each other felt so long ago. To Lizzie, after everything they’ve been through, their feelings were as clear as day. He was just so cute and impossible to ignore. He made her laugh so much. And bad enough, they got along so well. Lizzie liked Eric in a way that was far deeper than any crush feels she felt her entire life. And she knew, as his thumb aimlessly brushed against her hand while he focused on the movie, that he felt the same way too. They would be great together.

Lizzie was so lost in her thoughts about Eric that when he turned to look at her, she needed a moment to realize he was probably looking at her because she had been staring. Or gazing, in her opinion. She tilted her head back to rest against the wall; to get a better look at him. She would never grow tired of the way she felt looking at him. Even if his face was permanently etched into her brain, she could find any and every reason to just look at him.

With one exception…

She was reminded of weeks ago when it was just the two of them in the living room in the middle of the night. They were seated exactly like this on the couch; tangled up in each other. It was the first time Lizzie found her courage to test how they really felt for each other. That night, she dipped her toe in to test where they were in their relationship. Today, she wanted to fully submerge herself in it. The temptation consumed her to the point that she felt her body pull her closer to Eric. She let go of his arm to sit up straight and tall. Then she leaned closer to him. Then closer. Closer. Closer.

Unlike the first time, this was far longer than a quick second. It lingered and satisfied all of the urges that consumed her. And as Lizzie wrapped her arms tightly around Eric’s neck to press him against her, she threw the last bit of caution out her sliding door to kiss him deeply. The wizarding world could be up in flames as far as she was aware. Lizzie didn’t care. All she wanted was to forever feel him on her lips and on her tongue. How is she ever going to go without the high his taste gave her?

It took a lot of willpower on her end to refocus on the movie. Admittedly she spent much of the time while the trio was on their journey with her lips all over Eric. Whether it was against his own lips or trailing along the side of his neck, she found it more entertaining than Harry and Hermione’s awkward tension breaking dance number. Her focus was eventually pulled back to the movie enough that she made it to the end credits. But once the movie was done, the urge to just pull Eric on top of her was hard to fight.

The only reason she was able to control herself was because of Eric’s lingering cough. Throughout the movie it occasionally forced Eric to pull away until he felt he was done coughing. By the end of the movie, it was obvious he needed a fresh cup of tea and some water.

Lizzie followed behind Eric out of her room. While he walked over to the kitchen to make tea for the both of them, Lizzie turned down the hall to go to the bathroom. It was about time she got out of her work clothes and into something more comfortable.

“Well, look who finally emerged from their little love cave!” Angel teased from the other end of the hall. Lizzie turned to find him carrying Eric’s blanket and pillow cases from the laundry room. “I was wondering when you two would need to come up for air.”

Lizzie smiled, embarrassed that she could not keep a straight face from all the teasing. The smile only confirmed to Angel that he was more than just teasing. “Ooh! Careful, Lizzie, or you might end up with mono.” She didn’t even try to argue back, shaking her head amusingly while she escaped to the bathroom.

After changing in the bathroom, Lizzie tried to avoid anymore of Angel’s teasing by rushing back to her room. It was only a matter of time before he blabbed to the rest of the flat about whatever story he wanted to tell. At least if she was in her room, the others were not likely to barge in...maybe. It was a damn good thing Ricki wasn’t due to be home until very late.

Speaking of which…

“So, I was thinking,” Lizzie started when Eric returned to her room. She was now dressed in another one of her oversized sweaters and a pair of leggings and was in the middle of redoing her ponytail. “Um, Ricki won’t be home until, like, hella late tonight. So why don't you stay and sleep here...with me? I assure you, my bed is more comfortable than the couch. And I doubt Ricki is gonna notice by the time she comes home. She usually, like, knocks out real quick.” Despite the invitation, Lizzie was actually pretty nervous. This was the first time she ever invited him to spend the night with her. But she really wanted him to stay. No, she needed him to stay. Her urge to be with him made it impossible for her to be okay with letting him say goodnight and go. ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 101818-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie & angel
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

Eric was leaning back against the kitchen counter while he waited for the kettle to boil, mug already set out with a tea bag sitting inside. His arm went up to cough into his elbow a couple times before settling across his chest. How much longer would he be stuck with this cough? It had been a full week now and was really taking its toll. At work he couldn’t sip tea all day to soothe his throat so by the end of his shift his voice was getting hoarse. But even here at the flat it was getting in the way—his hand flew back to muffle another cough now, his hand lingering at his lips afterwards. He could still feel Lizzie’s touch, her hands, her lips, her breath, her everything. What would have happened if he hadn’t been sick? If he hadn’t had to abruptly stop and leave like that? It really wasn’t cute to have to turn away mid kiss to cough and catch his breath. If he hadn’t been sick would he still be with her on her bed? Would they be all tangled up in each other under her sheets? He coughed again one last time before downing the glass of water he had poured earlier and willing away his cold. No. More. Coughing.

This water was taking forever to boil. It was almost as slow as Eric and Lizzie’s dating progression. Eric was new to the whole dating thing. Relationship thing. Feelings thing. Sharing thing. Opening up thing. But kissing was not new to him. Intimacy was not new to him, only when it came to Lizzie. With Lizzie there were strings attached; heartstrings that is. And Eric had never had to navigate such things before.

The longer he stood here waiting, and thinking, the more the temporary Lizzie magic wore off and was instead replaced with the headache that had been setting in throughout the second half of the movie. His coughing had rattled his brain until the poor thing lashed out in response. It had been a week already, when would this cold go away for good?? But the tea would help. Maybe some painkillers. But most importantly Lizzie. Lizzie always helped with everything. He needed another dose of Lizzie magic. But also...painkillers. Glancing over at the now empty coffee table reminded him it had long been cleaned of all the various medications, drinks and towels from the peak of his sick. And that despite having been coming over on and off for a couple years now he didn’t actually know where in the flat they were stored. He’d have to ask Lizzie.

As soon as he’d finished preparing his tea he wasted no time in returning to her room. She had changed clothes, making Eric suddenly all too aware that he had been in the same clothes all day long. He’d worn them home from work, he’d slept in them, they’d watched the movie in them, they were hardly comfortable looking at Lizzie now in her home clothes.

Focusing away from her new attire, he took a careful sip from his tea to keep himself occupied while his thoughts ran through her invitation at lightning speed. Eric would be lying if he said the thought of staying with her didn’t make him a bit nervous. Why though? They had already been alone in her room for hours, what difference would sleeping in the same bed be? Yes, sleeping. They would be sleeping. Maybe it was the Ricki factor? Scared of someone else seeing them? But it wasn’t like the rest of the flat wasn’t already aware that they were more or less a thing now. Would Ricki be okay with him being in here? She wasn’t some shy saint of a school girl, there was no way Ricki would mind sharing her room with a guy for the night. Rationally speaking, Eric had no reason to be nervous. But maybe it wasn’t a fear based nervous and instead stemmed from excitement. This was a next step of sorts that Eric wanted with all his heart yet was terrified he would find a way to mess it all up in the end.

Contrary to his internal hesitation however, Eric was quick to agree with her invitation. He never would have suggested such a thing on his own, but he also never would pass up the opportunity—he never wanted to leave her side again.
The two were both clearly happy with this plan for him to spend the night in her room, but Eric cut her off before she could ask a follow up question, ”Are there any more painkillers?”
She replied that there were but Eric was quick to notice the worry flash across her face and went on to explain his headache from the past hour or so.

While Lizzie was off retrieving the medication, Eric set his mug on a coaster at her bedside. His headache was making everything else feel twice as bad. Well, not bad. But his tired from before felt more tired. The silence in the room now only heightened the pain in his head as there was nothing to distract him now. And his body was quickly absorbing the aching feeling, which, combined with the discomfort of his clothes had him a little desperate to find a way to relax and be rid of all this. The painkillers would help, Lizzie would be his perfect distraction, but the only way to truly feel better right now would be the change clothes. Or at least his pants. His shirt was just a t-shirt, his shirt was fine, but the jeans had to go. And so they went. Belt, button, zipper, off. Eric let them drop to the floor and didn’t bother to move them. He slipped out of Lizzie’s sweater after sitting on the edge of her bed, set the soft lavender down beside him and then let himself fall backwards until he was staring up at the ceiling. Or he would have been staring had he not moved his arm to cover his eyes, blocking the light from shining in them.

When Lizzie returned she offered to go get his clothes from the common room if he wanted to change, but Eric was nearing a point of tired that left him clingy and would affect him emotionally—much like a toddler overdue for their nap. He mumbled for her not to go as he pushed himself to sitting upright again, ready to be rid of this headache and reunited with his love.

But as Lizzie approached him, painkillers in hand, a veryyyy hazy memory popped into his head of being in the bathroom last Tuesday with her. He’d taken a bath, so obviously he’d been undressed, so it’s not like Lizzie hadn’t seen him damn near naked before. But it also wasn’t like he was particularly body shy to begin with. Prior to Lizzie joining the flat, Eric often slept in no more than a t-shirt and his underwear. Though with the temperature dropping at night and the common room being the coldest in the flat he’d been making more of an effort to wear clothes. But then he’d been sick. On and off fever, sweating through shirts and then shivering half to death a couple hours later. His thoughts were rambling now but circled back to the question of: was it okay for him to be here on her bed in just his t-shirt and his underwear?

He was sure the discomfort from his headache was written across his face by now as Lizzie traced her fingers through his hair with that magic touch of her’s. She had already passed over a tablet with an opened water bottle she’d brought back for him which Eric took quickly before passing her back the bottle once he was done. His arms circled loosely around her, falling just below her waist as he stared up at her for a minute. It would still be a little while until the painkiller kicked in, but Lizzie being here and the feeling of her fingers through his hair was already relieving some of his headache—or at least serving as a strong enough distraction from it.

”Are you okay to keep watching?” They still had part two to get through after all, but Lizzie was quick to toss the question right back at him as he was the one with the headache after all. He just smiled up at her, fighting the urge to pick her up right then and there and pull her onto his lap. He was good to continue, and after convincing Lizzie that he was she went about setting up the second movie on her laptop while Eric moved back to his same spot against the wall from before.

Lizzie curled up beside him once she hit play and the two resumed their inseparable cuddle position from before with the exception of Eric breaking away for a bit to finish his tea when the tickling sensation in his throat reappeared. No. More. Coughing. But once the mug was officially empty and returned to her nightstand, Eric made the one single biggest mistake of the night. That is to say, he lay down. And promptly pulled her down beside him, ”Come here you,” so much for watching the movie, they were both giggling now and after a short bit of fooling around, Eric leaned over to kiss her cheek before adjusting his hold on her to a more comfortable position for the two of them. His hand reaching over her interlaced fingers with one of her’s, while the arm that was pinned under her held her as close to his body as he could.

Despite having been the one to ask if she was good to keep going, it seemed that Eric was the one to crash first as his overnight shift finally caught up with him. The first sign was when his fingers stopped playing with her’s. Next his body turned to deadweight as his hold on her loosened. And the final clue was the heaviness to each breath he took, a mixture of deep relaxation combined with that last ounce of his ever persistent cold

One might call it a blessing, others a curse, but being the first to fall asleep also meant he was the first to wake up and he did so well before the sun joined them. Despite the darkness in the room, Eric could make out just enough of her face and found himself just staring at her. There was something extremely comforting about her literally being the first one he saw. She was still here. She hadn’t left him and it had not been a dream. The corners of his mouth formed a sleepy smile as he ever so gently brushed her baby hairs off her face.

Somehow during the night they had adjusted to lay face to face and his arm was now cradled under her neck, almost as though she had positioned herself so as to use him as a pillow. Next he noticed was a slight weight over him which turned out to be a blanket draped over the both of them. Try as he might though, Eric could barely remember anything from last night after his head had hit her pillow.

Soon enough though Eric was ever so carefully freeing his arm from Lizzie’s head and pushing himself upright. All his tea and waters last night to fight off his cold symptoms left his bladder begging to be relieved. He just had to climb over Lizzie and cross the room in the dark without making a sound. Easy right? Well getting off the bed was easy enough, Lizzie didn’t take up much space on the bed so Eric didn’t have to worry much about accidentally touching her. But he had forgotten his abandoned pants on the floor and nearly tripped when he tried to take his first step. Eric froze in place after he slipped, waiting for any sign that he had woken Lizzie up, but the only sound he could hear was a soft snoring ...coming from the other side of the room? It was dark obviously, but looking over to the other bed reminded Eric that this was a shared room, Ricki must have come home after he’d fallen asleep. He suddenly felt a little exposed. Vulnerable even. He wasn’t at all used to this relationship thing. And despite how perfect last night had been, standing here now he was getting that same feeling from oh so long ago when Lizzie had invited him over for dinner. A weird conflicting feeling of not belonging here, but also feeling like this was where he was meant to be. At Lizzie’s side that is…

After he had finally slipped out of the bedroom and stopped by the bathroom, Eric went to open the double doors and then into the kitchen to make tea for them, at least…he hoped she would like tea. Would coffee have been a better choice? It dawned on Eric now as he glanced between the coffee maker and the kettle already nearing a boil that he had absolutely no idea what Lizzie liked. Well, rewind a second. He knew what she liked, but they had never really experienced breakfast together. Eric was usually gone or on his way out the door by the time Lizzie woke up. But he had decided today to surprise her with breakfast. It really wasn’t much, he just had crumpets in the toaster for them and had fully intended to go wake Lizzie up in just a minute for breakfast but it seemed she had woken up on her own and alone instead as she made her presence known now at her approach.

”Uhm, I wasn’t sure whether you wanted tea or coffee or what you would like on your crumpet, or if you even wanted a crumpet—“ he was rambling and his words, while still slow, came one after another until Lizzie had finally crossed the rest of the way across the room and managed to silence his nerves the second she touched him—kissed him quiet and he automatically reciprocated as though it was second nature—but when she pulled back he couldn’t stop the rest of his sentence from falling out, although his voice was a good deal softer now that she had entered his bubble, ”—I could make something else if you’d like.”

Standing in the kitchen, still in his t-shirt and underwear, Eric was all too aware of how much colder it was out here than it had been ”all warm and toasty” in Lizzie’s room. But rather than that isolating feeling from back in her room, now with Lizzie here the cold was bearable. The cold could never bother him so long as she was here.

Wednesday progressed as normal, but also not not what he was used to at all. He was still adjusting to taking public transport, to not having to leave over an hour early just to get to work on time, and to being able to see Lizzie off at the station before they parted ways for their schedules. That night he was back on the couch though, partly because he wasn’t brave enough to initiate going back into her room, and partly because after dinner he had crashed and no one wanted to wake him.

But once Thursday came around his routine was broken and he was trying new things again—going outside his comfort zone. He had been asked last night, before he fell asleep, if he could come into work early to help cover someone’s shift. Normally Eric wasn’t too fond of shift changes because they sort of threw his internal clock off. But the one good thing about being asked to come in early was being able to leave early. It was still dark out when Eric had left the flat that morning, not even Olivia had woken up yet. But as such he got off at 3pm, a whole hour earlier than usual and he used that entire hour to get himself over to Regent Street in hopes of catching Lizzie on her way out. Yeah he probably should have texted her, but he was still struggling to turn his iPod into a habit instead of just an emergency lifeline. Plus that would have ruined the surprise of it all!

Had he known where her classes were he would have gone to wait directly outside her room, but as it was he positioned himself in a similar spot to the previous times he had run into her near campus and began people watching. He was just staring up at the school like a dog tied outside a cafe waiting for his human to return. Any minute now she could walk by and he had to remain ever vigilant so as not to miss her.

It was a little chillier out today than usual, an early reminder that winter was coming. But it wasn’t necessarily cold, least not by British standards. Presently Eric's best means of keeping warm were his gray hoodie over Lizzie’s purple sweater with his hands shoved deep in the kangaroo pocket in front. Olivia had mentioned yesterday evening that he needed a new jacket before it actually started getting cold, but the conversation quickly died out when Eric excused himself to go shower. Or at least, Eric’s input on the matter had come to an end when he left Olivia and Lizzie sitting at the dining table…

Finally!! Eric couldn’t fight back the smile that formed when at last he caught sight of Lizzie. She made every bad thing in his life seem like nothing, like it no longer mattered because he had her and she brought him happiness. Or at least, he couldn’t help but be happy to see her, but it seemed life was throwing him a curveball this afternoon. The human mind is full of mystery. Always wondering, always questioning, always wanting more and more. His smile faltered when he saw her stop and turn to talk to a man who, while standing rather close to her, had taken the smile right off Eric’s face and placed it on his own. Eric glanced away now as they talked, he would wait, it was fine, he didn’t mind waiting for her to finish up with...whoever that was. Who was he? Did it even matter? Of course Lizzie had other friends, he had known she had friends for weeks now as he recalled she kept being invited out to things. And this was a school, classmates and a social life were key aspects to success. It wasn’t that Eric was worried about this man’s intentions, not yet at least just he had been waiting all day to see her only to have to wait some more while she was right there, right in front of him. Imagine you’ve just come back after being away at war and all you want to do is reunite with the girl you’ve left behind, but you come home to find her in the middle of hosting a book club meeting probably Harry Potter themed, and she’s talking so enthusiastically and you love seeing her look so absolutely glowing with joy. So you have two options, disrupt the book club because you can’t bear to be away from her a second longer, or let her continue because it’s something she’s passionate about, even if that means you’re not the one she’s smiling about.

Eric wasn’t aware of the jealousy behind these feelings, he had no reason to be jealous and certainly no reason to be suspicious. Lizzie was in for it all. He wasn’t doubting her feelings in the slightest, nor was he upset with this stranger, he just—he just selfishly wanted her all to himself, always. Sharing didn’t come easy to Eric Oliver. Being born into poverty, Eric understood sacrifice and selflessness and responsibility and all that came with his childhood lifestyle. But being born into such a hard life, and being an only child on top of that meant that when something truly was his, then he wouldn’t let anyone else have it. He never learned to share toys with a sibling, he would receive his one Christmas present and love it to pieces. Eric was used to having nothing, he had accepted having nothing. But then Lizzie Darcy entered his life and gave him something, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to share.

Right now she was his entire world, but watching her it felt like he was only a part of hers.

That wasn’t fair of him at all, but that was the feeling that had consumed him until her angelic voice called out his name upon seeing him waiting for her. Eric looked back up now and pushed off the pole he’d been leaning against as Lizzie, grinning ear to ear, ran over towards him and pushed all his negativity out the door as her arms reached out to him when she got close enough.

Eric didn’t miss a beat, bending down slightly so his own arms could wrap under her backpack and around her much smaller frame while her’s linked around his neck, so as he straightened up he quite literally was sweeping her off her feet. He spun around once before safely returning his princess back to solid ground, though he didn’t make any move to release her. In fact if anything he pulled her closer, if that was at all possible, as he leaned in to kiss her. And he held her there for a good moment. It wasn’t that he was afraid she would leave him when he let go, but he knew that their lives would carry on afterwards and at the end of the day, a figurative day not necessarily right now, they would have to separate when he went off to work and her to school. So he wanted to delay their inevitable separation for as long as possible, even if that meant getting a few side eyes from passing Brits. PDA wasn’t a thing most Britons would partake in, but Lizzie was American, and seemed to have this way of drawing his own half yankee side out.

”Hey babe, “ there was just a second of a pause between them, both searching the others’ eyes for some sort of answer before they simultaneously broke into a light laugh as Lizzie shook her head, ”No?”
That was a definite no. His attempt at dating lingo—calling her babe—was a fail. Truthfully the name had felt funny falling from his lips; forced almost. The smile hadn’t left his face since she came over though and his laugh lived in the corner of it, ”Sorry,” he kissed her one last quick time, ”Babe~” His smile turned into a teasing smirk before his hand took her’s to lead her away. Yeah all this PDA in broad daylight in the middle of the street was going to earn them some stares but Eric literally couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t keep his hands off her, couldn’t break physical contact with her. He could handle all the attention of strangers, mostly...but from the flat? Well….

“You two just don’t stop do you?” You could just hear the smirk in his voice. They were back in the flat’s kitchen now, with Eric leaning back against the counter while he held Lizzie extra close. They had just been talking in their own little bubble while waiting for their food to be done. But at Angel’s interruption his arms loosened around Lizzie’s waist as he shyly looked away wishing he could just sink into the floor right then and there. They weren’t even doing anything, but Angel seemed hell bent on making him uncomfortable and self conscious about their blooming relationship.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 101918-----------❖ LOCATION — john lewis - westfield london-----------❖ COMPANY — eric & olivia
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

Who was Lizzie going to update first? The obvious answer should have been JKL. Since Tuesday night, Jade, Katie and Lacey left her countless messages both personally and in their various group chats demanding answers and updates. This continued for the rest of Tuesday night into all of Wednesday. All because she sneaked in a photo of Eric sleeping on her bed after finishing the movie; Eric didn’t make it to the end of the movie, of course. It was just a perfect opportunity for Lizzie and she was quick to take it. He looked so cute and so peaceful and she wanted to have that moment with her forever. Of course, since it was a new development in her relationship with Eric, she had to share it with her best friends; even if it was just one photo out of the entire big picture. So, yes, the obvious choice to update first should have been her best friends who have been waiting so impatiently for anything other than the quick responses Lizzie was able to give in-between work and school.

Keyword: should.

In the end, it wasn’t JKL that she updated first. She loved the girls and they were so supportive of the progression of her relationship with Eric, even if Jade was jumping on the devil’s advocate role a little too much lately. But when it really came down to it, if there was someone she wanted to tell first about this huge progress in her relationship with Eric...it was Irene.

Lizzie opened the Clock app on her phone to double check what time it was currently in California. She knew she was cutting it close calling Irene right now. Although right now it was seven in the morning on a Thursday in the UK, it was roughly eleven in the evening on a Wednesday in California. If she remembered her cousin’s school schedule correctly, Irene had an early morning class first thing Thursday. Now that school started for everyone back in LA, keeping up with other schedules on top of her own was getting complicated. But what she wanted to tell her cousin could not be saved for text messages until Irene inevitably fell asleep. Lizzie didn’t even have the patience to type a text message with how much she had to say.

It was a sort of good thing Eric left early that Thursday morning. Sure, at the time she was bummed to find that he was not in the living room when she woke up. The least he could have done the night before was let her know he wouldn’t be home the next morning before going to bed. She could only hope that his reason for leaving the flat so early was because of work...and not the other reason she continues to push to the back of her mind. So long as she told herself that he was fine and he was just at work earlier than usual, she clung to the excitement of finally having the free time to tell someone in her life about everything that happened on Tuesday.

“Thank goodness you are still up!” Lizzie exclaimed as soon as Irene answered her FaceTime call. “I have things to tell you!”

With Ricki in the common room preparing to go to work, Lizzie set up camp in their bedroom. She sat on her bed with her back against the wall and her iPad resting on her lap. There were still other flatmates at home, so she plugged her headphones in to ensure that no one would hear much of their conversation.

Ever since the heart to heart they had about whether or not Lizzie should talk to Eric about their feelings for each other, Lizzie made sure to keep Irene as up to date as possible about how things are going with her and Eric. Unlike JKL, Lizzie didn’t constantly spam her cousin with Snapchat photos of Eric whenever she could sneak a picture here and there. She did share a few, of course, but most of her updates consisted of how things were going between the both of them: the talks she shared with Eric, updates on how sure she was regarding his feelings for her, all things involving her heart. There was one exception, of course. Despite how much it helped advance her relationship with Eric, Lizzie was still not ready to tell Irene about his disappearance, going with Olivia to find him and his recovery. Maybe one day she will, but now was not the best time while she was still trying to figure it all out herself. For now, Irene was the first candidate to hear the good news.

“Okay, before I start, I know it’s, like, hella late there right now so please try not to freak out too much over what I’m about to tell you.” By now, Lizzie was grinning from ear to ear. To prepare for the full play by play, she had to recall all that happened on Tuesday and the memories and sensations made her feel like she was floating all over again. The grin on her face only made Irene more impatient. Her cousin’s excitement made Lizzie’s grin wider. “We kissed~”

It was cute watching Irene attempt to contain her excitement over the news. Lizzie laughed as her cousin tried to muffle her squeals with her pillow. Hopefully her boyfriend wasn’t too bothered. Once Irene calmed down, Lizzie went into detail about Tuesday. Everything from finally finishing their Harry Potter movie marathon to the kiss to her invitation for him to spend the night in her room to Eric passing out before the final movie was done. That was when she sent over the picture she took of Eric sleeping on her bed.

“Doesn’t he look so cute?” Lizzie practically gushed when she knew Irene got the picture. “I didn’t have it in me to, like, wake him up to finish the movie. Plus he had, like, an overnight the night before. Poor thing must have been exhausted.” Lizzie picked her phone back up and unlocked it, revealing that she designated her home wallpaper to Eric’s sleeping picture. “So, after the movie was done, I had to be careful not to wake him while I got ready for bed. He’s a pretty heavy sleeper when he wants to be though. Like, even while I was moving him a bit to make him more comfortable and then to put my comforter over us, the most he did was stir and that was it.”

Irene gushed and commented multiple times about how cute Lizzie and Eric were. “Also a sign that he trusts you!” she added in response to Lizzie’s explanation about Eric sleeping like the dead. “You must make him feel safe, Lizzie~”

“You think so?” Lizzie asked. She briefly remembered another talk she and Eric had that she was not ready to tell her cousin: the one after she spent the day nursing him to health. The one where she asked him to trust her. The one where she told him that she was in for all of it. Did his peaceful sleeping Tuesday night mean that he trusts her? Did that even correlate to their talk days ago?

Lizzie didn’t press that topic onward for fear that Irene would pick up on certain details and ask for clarification. The last thing she wanted was for them to reach the point of having to discuss Eric’s disappearance. To Irene and JKL, Eric was the perfect man for Lizzie and she wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. It would kill her if they knew what she knew and suddenly decided he was too dangerous or that his secrets meant that he was not right for her.

In an effort to keep his disappearance and the days after from coming up, Lizzie pushed forward her detailed story telling to all that happened Wednesday night. It wasn’t much to share, really. But the fact that they spent all of Wednesday night together until he fell asleep was enough to keep her cousin occupied and continuously gushing. At least until she noted that it was well past midnight on her end and she needed to go to bed. Once Irene’s face disappeared from her screen, Lizzie smiled lightly and let out a sigh of relief. She survived that round.

JKL were less than forgiving having to wait days for any sort of update after the sleeping Eric Snapchat photo. Actually, it was more like K and L. Lacey excitedly asked the questions. Katie offered the commentary and reactions. Jade, oddly enough, remained pretty quiet through most of the conversation; almost checked out if Lizzie had to be honest. It was as if her friend didn’t want to hear about these new updates in her relationship with Eric. However, no one called Jade out on her weird behavior. This was mostly because Lacey and Katie were just so excited about the details of the first kiss.

Lizzie’s catch up sessions lasted all morning. By the time she stepped out of her bedroom to prepare to go into the city for school, it was past noon and she forgot to eat. So breakfast for lunch it was.

She arrived in the city an hour before her afternoon class to meet with Anna. By the time she made it to the library - their planned meeting location - Anna already claimed a table for the both of them. However, as she came closer to the said table, Lizzie found that they were joined by Andrew and Eddie. The two boys had a break before their next class and, naturally, Andrew wanted to spend it with his girlfriend. Lizzie couldn’t help remembering the off-handed comment Sophia made just last week about how Andrew should just put a ring on it already. As she offered her greetings to her friends, Lizzie dropped her backpack against the leg of the table and took the empty seat beside Eddie. He was quick to ask how she was progressing through her paper. And when she responded that she was currently struggling with the flow of her paragraphs, he offered to look it over and help her. Lizzie smiled at him, grateful.

As always, her two hour class was split into two one hour sessions. The first hour was spent as a class discussion reviewing and applying all that they learned during their Monday and Wednesday lectures that week. The second half was allocated to work on their papers in groups since said paper was due next week. Lizzie used that entire full hour to edit her paper using the notes Eddie gave her earlier at the library. They were serving to be helpful indeed.

At the end of the class time, Lizzie expected to see Andrew waiting for Anna outside the classroom. He was like a dog waiting outside for his human. Today, he did not disappoint; waiting patiently along the wall across the door to their classroom. Right beside him was Eddie. While she did not always expect him to be around after class was over, she did notice that he did tag along with Andrew lately.

While they all traveled out of the building, Anna was already thinking of where they should eat for dinner. She and Andrew were tossing ideas for possible happy hours or any cravings any of them should have. Lizzie interrupted her conversation about her essay with Eddie to inform the others that she once again had to skip out on dinner. While she did not give them a verbal reason why, her long-haired perfect man immediately popped into her head. She hoped to make it to the flat before him in the hopes of giving him a warm greeting after a hard day’s work. She was just so smitten and she knew it.

“So, should we meet Sunday morning?” Eddie asked as they walked down the steps outside campus. Lizzie turned to look over at Eddie, all the while thinking over his suggestion. Their conversation earlier from the classroom was about her paper. Eddie offered to look over the final draft she promised him she would finish by next Monday so that he could look it over and help her make needed changes. Earlier she suggested just emailing the paper over to him to look over, but he insisted they meet up so that they could speak face to face. Apparently to him, it was the better option.

“Um, yeah, sure. Sunday sounds great,” Lizzie replied with a smile. Her mind quickly ran through her Sunday schedule. Okay, not her Sunday schedule. Sunday was her day off; her day of rest. Her day to catch up on anything and everything she needed to catch up on before a new load of work piled on top of her. But on top of that, she had to remember when exactly Eric went to work that day to make sure that she was and would be home by the time he was. It didn’t take her long to remember his work schedule of course. “But, um, do you mind if we meet, like, in the afternoon?”

Eddie didn’t ask why Sunday morning didn’t work for her, nor did she think he should ask. They could meet for lunch. It was no big deal. Whether he had an issue with her suggestion or not, he didn’t say such. Instead, he agreed and offered to pick her up from her flat so that she wouldn’t have to spend money on the Tube. Lizzie once again smiled at Eddie, honestly grateful for the offer. As much as she was used to taking public transportation to the city, she could not deny that taking it almost daily for school and work was pricey. Any opportunity to not have to take it was an opportunity she took almost willingly. At least Eddie was nice enough to offer on his own accord without her making any kind of suggestion.

After they agreed on a time that he could pick her up from her flat, Lizzie said her goodbyes to Eddie, Anna and Andrew and watched them leave in the opposite direction for their early dinner. Lizzie, on the other hand, went about her usual after school routine of getting herself a coffee and pastry from her now anointed favorite coffee shop.

But just as she took the last step off the steps of the school building, Lizzie looked up from her phone in time to notice a familiar face. It was hard to say how she managed to recognize it, to be honest. This was usually the busiest time to be on Regent Street. People were either getting off work or finishing classes for the day. So for little Lizzie to be able to find Eric Oliver standing against a pole right outside her school was almost a miracle. The English were just so generally tall. And yet, here she was, able to zoom in right on her perfect man obviously waiting for her. Sure, it was strange that he was able to do this in the first place. If she remembered correctly, he was supposed to get off work right now. Maybe his being here had something to do with him having left for work early this morning?

Oh, forget it. Him being in front of her school was not an actual problem to Lizzie. In fact, just the very sight of him with his head down and his hair falling in front of his perfect face made her heart leap in her chest and a grin spread across her face. She would be lying if she denied ever having daydreams of this very moment. Ever since that very very very first day they “officially” met - when they crossed paths outside school after Flat Night - she hoped to have this kind of happy surprise again.

Lizzie pressed her thumb on the record button then kept her thumb on her phone screen as she swiped it up. On the screen, Eric zoomed in; very unaware that he was being recorded. Hidden by the noise of her surroundings, the recording picked up Lizzie’s little giggle before she lifted her thumb off the phone screen. She typed “LOOK WHO CAME TO SEE MEEE!” then grabbed a heart themed bitmoji to add to the video before sending it off to JKL for them to gush over later.

While that video was being sent, Lizzie tucked her phone in her back pocket and focused all of her attention on returning to Eric’s side.

“Eric!” she called out to gain his attention. With only a few feet left between them, Lizzie skipped the remaining distance with her arms outstretched waiting to jump into his own.

It was obvious by her happy display of affection toward Eric that Lizzie had no idea about how awkward PDA actually was for the English. No one in the flat warned her of such. And Anna and Andrew had their fair share of affection sharing in public for her not to think otherwise. So if she noticed the stares and glares she and Eric were getting as she pulled him into a tight, warm embrace and went off as if she hadn’t seen him in ages, she didn’t show it. To Lizzie, at this very moment the world did not matter to her. What mattered the most was the pure joy she felt being literally lifted off her feet by her perfect man.

“I missed you this morning,” Lizzie told him as soon as they made their way to the coffee shop before heading to the Tube station. “Did you have to go to work early today?” she then asked.

After getting her usual cup of going home coffee and whatever pastry she was craving today - chocolate croissant, although the cafe near the flat will still have her favorite - she and Eric took the train back to the flat. They were, of course, the first ones back. Which was fine. Meant more time to be alone.

With Ricki due to come home in about an hour, the two remained in the common room instead of spending time in her room like last time. They continued their conversation from earlier. Since the train home was packed with people, it was difficult to keep up a conversation without feeling like someone nearby was eavesdropping on them. Not even their little bubble could protect them. So while Eric prepared his usual tea, Lizzie made herself comfortable on the couch and listened as he went on about how he planned to go back to rehearsals this coming Saturday.

“Are you going to present the script? It’s finished already, right? Since we last worked on it?” Lizzie tucked her legs under her and turned around on the couch to watch Eric stare at the kettle as it boiled his water. He explained how the troupe was currently rehearsing for a winter production they apparently did every year. Of course, this all sounded very exciting for Lizzie and she was quick to ask what this winter production was about and if it was the same one they did every year. More questions arose with every answer Eric gave and that was how much of their hour back in the flat was spent: talking about him.

Sometime after Ricki came home, Lizzie and Eric moved from the couches over to the kitchen. Lizzie expressed some concern that she was starting to get a bit hungry to which Eric suggested that they prepare dinner. Thankfully there were still some leftovers from whatever Malcolm made that week and so it was only a matter of heating the food up. Conversation this time around was on Lizzie’s assigned manuscript for the week. The first thing she mentioned was how she did not enjoy it and it was only because she wanted to be done with the book that she finished it as quickly as she did. This was one of those occasions, she explained, similar to ripping off a bandaid. If she prolonged the inevitable, she would have gotten in trouble with her internship for not reading it.

Lizzie was in the middle of showing Eric an excerpt from the manuscript when she overheard Angel’s familiar teasing voice cut through their little bubble. She looked up to find her flatmate dropping his bag on the dining table with that ever present smirk on his face. However, as Eric’s arms loosened around her waist, Lizzie’s subconscious defensively pushed her back against his chest as if to tell him to not let her go. But when the nudge had no response, she looked up to find Eric bashfully looking away at something. She didn’t know if she should think of this as cute or not. It was just Angel. And besides, they weren’t doing anything for him to be embarrassed over.

Angel didn’t stay for very long in the common room. After his teasing remark, he mentioned something about how he needed to get ready for a date then poured himself a glass of wine to unwind. He then retreated to his room to get ready for said date. Lizzie was once again left alone with Eric in the common room. At which point, their food was ready. They did not bother moving to the dining table to eat their dinner. Instead, they pulled out the stools and had their dinner at the kitchen island. At least they could conserve their little bubble once again.

As always, Eric didn’t last very long once they were back at the flat. Long before anyone could think about calling it a night, Eric was the first to fall asleep. Lizzie returned from the bathroom after having finished changing into her home clothes to find Eric already curled up on his couch fast asleep. Olivia was in the kitchen heating up what she explained were leftovers from a lunch meeting.

Lizzie was relieved to find Eric still at the flat Friday morning. Seeing him before work always made her mornings ten times better. “Morning, babe!” she greeted cheerily as she dropped her purse onto the couch. She then walked over to him on his couch, bending over slightly to offer him a good morning kiss. It instantly made her smile grow bigger.

“Well, that was cute,” suddenly came a voice at the other end of the common room. As Lizzie pulled away and stood up straight again, she found that Olivia had also been present the whole time and currently in the process of preparing her morning coffee. “Do I get a kiss too?” Olivia teased as she poured her coffee into her to-go tumbler.

Lizzie laughed then shot Eric a quick wink. “Sure! But only if there is enough coffee in the pot for me too,” she teased back while she traveled across the common room to the kitchen. There was, in fact, enough coffee for Lizzie, but Olivia laughed and shied away from Lizzie’s teasing advances.

“Hey Lizzie?” Olivia started while Lizzie prepared coffee in her to-go tumbler. “What time are you off today? From your internship?”

Lizzie turned to look at Olivia for a moment before she returned to her task. “Three. Why, what’s up?” she asked.

While she tightened the cap of her tumbler, she noted that there was a silent pause after her question. But just as she looked up to see what happened, Olivia said, “I was thinking that the three of us go to the shopping centre after Eric gets off work to find him a new jacket.” There was another pause, but this time Lizzie knew why. She watched as Olivia turned to look over at Eric with a strangely maternal-esque look on her face. “You can’t avoid the topic, Eric. I’m sure Lizzie’s jumper is warm on its own, but it’s supposed to start raining next week. That jumper and your grey hoodie are not going to keep you dry and warm.” It amazed Lizzie that Olivia nowadays sounded so...motherly. She slowly learned through Eric’s indifference to his best friend’s tone how accustomed he seemed to be about it.

“Yeah, sounds like a plan. I’m down,” Lizzie quickly chimed in. Having been present when the two discussed the whole new jacket issue the other day, she was well aware of why the topic was brought up in the first place. And while she wanted to support Eric on practically everything, she had to side with Olivia on this one. It was obvious he was not comfortable talking about this whole getting a new jacket business. But Olivia was right. The weather in London was not getting warmer and he did not drive to and from places daily. He needed to replace the jacket that was stolen from him a couple weeks ago.

Once the three of them confirmed their plans for later that afternoon - although it was more Lizzie and Olivia finalizing the plans while Eric quietly agreed - Lizzie collected her things and said her goodbyes to her flatmate. Eric once again offered to accompany her on her commute to her internship, at least until they had to separate to take their transfer trains. As they walked hand in hand to the train station, Lizzie commented to Eric that jacket shopping was going to be fun; that there was nothing he needed to worry about. They were going to find him the right jacket even if it meant Lizzie needed to contribute. She didn’t care. What mattered to her was that Eric didn’t get sick again because his situation made him ill-equipped for UK weather. That opinion was something both she and Olivia shared completely.

After a long day at her internship, Lizzie was relieved when her editor gave her the go ahead to leave. Because of a meeting that ended up lasting longer than anticipated, Lizzie had to stay after three until her senior editor signed off on her tasks for the day. By the time she left work, Lizzie had a few text messages from Olivia waiting for her letting her know that she was on her way to pick Eric up from the hotel. She mentioned that morning that she would be in the area for work. For some reason, Lizzie thought Olivia might be lying about being near the hotel so that she can insist she can pick him up. Probably so she can guarantee he would actually go with them. She didn’t share these thoughts though.

Although there was a fifteen minute delay from Olivia’s last message, Lizzie acted as if it just got sent to her. She responded to Olivia letting her know that she was walking to the train station right now to head to the shopping centre.

Due to delays and overall heavy foot traffic, Lizzie arrived at Westfield London just as she got a text from Olivia (via Eric riding shotgun) letting her know that they just pulled into the parking garage...erm, car park? But even though they seemed to have arrived at Westfield at the same time, it took another ten minutes for Lizzie to find Eric and Olivia. Apparently the directions she pulled up at work led her to a train station located at the opposite side of the shopping centre from where Olivia told them to meet up. So when she went to find John Lewis (the store Olivia suggested they start first) on the directory, she quickly saw her mistake and had to let Olivia know she would be running a little late. From that point it was another adventure for Lizzie. Because Westfield was so huge, she got turned around twice before admitting defeat and looked for a security guard to ask for directions.

When she finally found the John Lewis store and then got pointed in the right direction of the men’s section, Olivia already had Eric carrying a few jacket options for him to try. Even from her distance, she could tell that he didn’t seem to be too happy about something.

“Hey! I’m here!” she greeted as soon as she was in earshot of the two friends. “I may have gotten a little lost for a bit there,” she added with a laugh at her misfortune. She immediately took her place at Eric’s side, wrapping her arms around his waist to give him a tight hug. When she pulled away slightly and leaned up onto her tiptoes, he picked up on her indication quickly and leaned down to meet her halfway. Since Olivia was with them, Lizzie left her kiss at a peck then pulled away to look at him closely. “Everything okay?” she asked.

“Oh, don’t mind him. He’s just being picky and uncooperative,” Olivia said with a quick glance at Lizzie. She then returned to her task of rummaging through the rack of jackets for what Lizzie could guess was Eric’s size. “But maybe now that you’re here, he’ll lighten up a little. I told him that we don’t have to find his jacket here. We’re just starting here to get some ideas and then we can look somewhere else if he wants.” She muttered something about being “overdramatic” and “spending a fortune”, but the rest was lost while she concentrated on a brown coat.

Lizzie once again turned to look at Eric with a smile. “Are there any that caught your eye at least?” she asked while eyeing the jackets he was currently carrying.​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 102318-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

“Why are you grabbing so many? I can just try it on here—Oliviaaaaa...” he groaned, even as he spoke she was handing him another jacket, “That’s no fun. You’ve got to grab a bunch so you can compare them all and besides—“ she had slipped on a leather jacket now and with a teasing smirk turned back to look at him just enough so the jacket fell off to seductively reveal her shoulder; a move that would have worked on literally anyone other than Eric who just stared back unimpressed and dreading the rest of this excursion, “You can’t go shopping without a fashion show!”

Thankfully this didn't carry on for too much longer. His saint and savior, light of his life, angel sent from heaven, the very oxygen he needed to survive: Lizzie Darcy had arrived. But as she wrapped her arms around him he found he couldn’t hold her in return. Olivia had piled too many jackets into his hands and it was killing him not being able to touch her directly. He was so in tune to her now though that he easily picked up on her non verbal cues and responded immediately. Oh how he would kill to drop these jackets to the ground, pick her up and go find some dark corner of the shop where they could just be alone without Olivia or any strangers watching them. Somewhere they could just escape from everything happening around them, without this social pressure from the general public, and most importantly without his nightmare of a life constantly dragging them down.

But it seemed Eric wouldn’t get the luxury of alone time, not so long as Olivia was here on a mission. She had quickly taken charge in updating Lizzie at the so far highly unsuccessful shopping trip while Eric unknowingly had adjusted how he stood so his arm was against Lizzie’s and maintaining some sort of physical contact with her.

“Are there any that caught your eye at least?” Eric couldn’t stop himself from instinctively glancing over at Olivia as though contemplating what sort of answer to give Lizzie. Almost like a child wondering if it was safe to admit something in front of his mother. The truth was no, not really. But Eric didn’t dare speak that truth in front of mama bear so hopefully Lizzie would pick up on his own body language as he had hers.

Why though? Why couldn’t he just outright say he didn’t like anything here? Olivia could see through anything he said, she knew he wasn’t happy with the options she’d picked. And if Lizzie was truly as obsessed with him as he was with her then surely she too could tell he didn’t even want to be in this particular store any longer. They both knew him so well, and he loved them both to bits. So why couldn’t he just open up and tell the truth that he didn’t like anything here? It’s not like any feelings would be hurt. If anything it would be less of a burden on them so they weren’t wasting time in a store that he wasn’t interested in. But Eric couldn’t bring himself to speak up and so shuffled through the handful Olivia picked out and pulled out the one he hated the least.
”That looks so similar to your old one though, and it’s definitely not suited for rain.”
Well maybe he just wanted to replace his jacket and not find a new one. But Olivia did have a point that he didn’t currently own any weather resistant clothing and as they moved into autumn and then winter he would definitely need something that could keep him both warm and dry. A wool peacoat would soak up all the water so fast— ”We could just get two though~”
Eric shot her a look so fast. He was already against this shopping trip, even though he knew he needed it, the last thing he wanted was to add on unnecessary purchases. Like a second jacket, ”Don’t give me that look, you know I’m right. Come on, let’s see it then.”

Eric humored Olivia for a bit and tried on some jackets but ultimately they left John Lewis empty handed. Well, Eric had Lizzie’s hand in his, but they were sans new jacket. Onto the next store! And the next….and the next….
”I hope you know we’re not leaving the mall until you pick a jacket.” Eric looked up from the brim of his water glass when Olivia’ voice finally reached him. They were taking a little late lunch break at a sit down restaurant after several more unsuccesful stores. Lizzie sat at his side, his legs under the table were invading her personal space with his knee in direct contact with her. Olivia was across from them and had just finished listing out some more shop names to visit. Eric hadn’t replied, his attention too fixated on Lizzie, hence Olivia now calling him out and saying he had to pick in order for them to leave.

Truthfully he hadn’t hated all of the jackets they’d looked at. There were actually some decent contenders, just nothing that Eric had fallen in love with enough to splurge the money on— or to feel comfortable letting the girls pay for. It was no secret that Eric’s heart wasn’t in it for this shopping trip, Olivia was pulling teeth trying to get helpful responses out of him. But that didn’t mean he was miserable. Oh no, far from it actually. Eric was absolutely loving it. Specifically: loving Lizzie. What had started as an accidental brush of his foot soon turned into a secret footsie war under the table with her while “above ground” Eric and Olivia went back and forth over his unhelpful indecisiveness until they finally agreed upon the next store to check out after they finished eating. Lizzie had by now taken to resting her little legs across his lap as they had positioned their chairs so close there wasn’t any space between them and Eric’s left hand rested protectively near her thigh, occasionally trailing his fingers across her or fiddling with the fabric of her clothes while his right hand stayed in view on the table as he tried to eat. It wasn’t that he wasn’t hungry, he just couldn’t concentrate on his food with Lizzie next to him.

Eventually Olivia excused herself to the restroom leaving the two lovebirds alone for the first time that day and Eric didn’t waste a single moment constructing their little bubble as he propped his elbow on the table creating a little wall between them and the outside world. Lizzie too wasted no time only she moved to grab his hand from her leg pleading for him to stop. Apparently she’d been dying in silence this whole time not wanting to expose them in front of Olivia but she couldn’t take the tickling sensation any longer. Eric only smiled and pulled his hand free for one last touch even farther up her leg where it was more sensitive before giving in and giving up. He settled with just holding her hand but still leaned in closer if that was at all possible. He just stared at her in silence for a moment, soaking up her attention while he could before life or Olivia, whichever came first, pulled them apart again. She asked him ‘what’, a cue that he had been admiring her in silence for too long but Eric’s smile just grew as he quietly shook his head. He didn’t need anything, he didn’t want anything; just to be here beside her.

”Can I ask you something?”
She of course responded with a yes answer but before Eric could say anything else Olivia had returned and cleared her throat in a teasing manner that read similarly to: “Guys, really? I’m right here.” Eric released Lizzie’s hand for now as he was interrupted and retreated back to his own space bubble as he turned to see Olivia sitting back down across from them, ”Eric can you finish eating so we can go?”
”Okay Mum,” it was Olivia’s turn now to give him a warning look but he did as he was told and focused his attention back to the food in front of him while Olivia opened up conversation with Lizzie— most likely to keep her busy so Eric couldn’t get distracted again.

The next store they went to didn’t have much to offer, but the one after finally had something that caught Eric’s eye, ”Come here love,” Lizzie had hardly left his side this entire afternoon. Only on occasion to divide and conquer racks that had too many options to sort through and this was one of those occasions. She of course returned to his side when summoned, inquiring if he found the one. But when Eric turned to face her he instead held out a little black sequined dress in front of her as though imagining her in it. It apparently passed in Eric’s book as he went on to ask her to try it on. He was met with a little hesitation but nothing that his little, ”Please?” couldn’t win over. So as soon as he got the first sign of acceptance he took her by the shoulders and turned to walk her back towards the dressing room.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. The dress was a yes in Eric’s book. Eric took both of her hands to pull her over to the full length mirror just outside of the room she had come from and then positioned himself to stand just behind her, hands still holding hers as they spoke looking through their reflections. Lizzie was quick to remind him that they were supposed to be here shopping for him but Eric, still holding her hands, just wrapped their arms around her waist and held her close, ”Shhh…”
He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was but the words just wouldn’t come out. He was too entranced just staring at her through the mirror. Had he had a couple drinks then nothing would have stopped him from speaking his mind and demanding they get her the dress while they were out. Screw his jacket, he didn’t need a jacket, she needed this dress instead. But as it was he was a little starstruck and still shy in public with her. Well, it wasn’t quite that obvious seeing as how he couldn’t keep his hands off her. But somehow verbally admitting his heart was harder than all the physical contact.

“I really just can’t leave you two alone, can I?”
Andddd they were caught. Olivia had found them. She proceeded to hand Eric one of two jackets she had found, ”Okay I wasn’t really serious about this one but so long as Lizzie is playing dress up you might as well join her.”
It was a black leather jacket with plenty of shiney zippers and snaps to match with all the sparkles on Lizzie’s dress. Normally a leather jacket wouldn’t exactly suit a black dress look, but the combination actually sort of created a popstar look that Eric didn’t mind. Well, he was still head over heels for Lizzie, but he actually really liked this leather jacket. It had inner quilted paneling making it surprisingly warm. But it still circled back to not being practical and they were here for a winter coat, not a fun night out. He needed something with a hood, and something he could toss in the wash and not have to take to a dry cleaner. Sorry leather jacket, as cute as you are, the verdict is a no. But that didn’t stop Lizzie from busting out her phone for photo ops as she had with just about everything he’d tried on today. So with hands in the jacket pockets he posed beside her in front of the mirror for her photo...and then another angle...and then she asked Olivia to take one for them.

As he reluctantly slipped off the leather jacket Olivia reached out to take it back and in exchange handed over a bundle of olive, ”So it’s not a peacoat...or a trench,” she knew his style well, ”But it’s warm, and has a hood and I mean, I think it’s cute.”
It was an army green fishtail parka with a slight sheen to it hinting towards water resistance. The interior was lined with white sherpa and once he put it on it fit pretty damn perfectly. The style was meant to be a little oversize which left room for him to layer up without creating bulk. Plenty of pockets for all his things like his keys and empty wallet. All in all it seemed to be the best choice so far. In fact...it might actually be the one. Olivia was right in that it wasn’t exactly something he would usually gravitate to, so if she hadn’t been here he probably would have completely passed by it.
Yes. This was it, and both girls approved of it as well. But before they went to checkout, Lizzie insisted on trying it on. Why? Who knows. But the jacket drowned her completely, it was even longer on her than the dress had been.

It wasn’t cold enough right now to warrant wearing his new jacket so it stayed in the paper shopping bag as they walked back to Olivia’s car. But Eric still caught himself stressing over the whole thing. What was he supposed to do now? Should he toss Lizzie’s lavender jumper into the wash as soon as they got back? Fold it up and return it to her. Or was it okay for him to keep wearing it? She hadn’t made any indication yet that she wanted it back. Was he even ready to give it back? It wasn’t like it was the warmest option for him now but he still felt a strong sense of security with it on and he wasn’t sure he was ready to give that up.
Their hands were once again joined and his fingers interlaced with Lizzie’s tucked up into the cuff of the(ir) lavender jumper’s sleeve.

” ‘livia could we stop by my car?” They had just gotten into her car to head back to the flat before Eric’s request from the backseat. She of course agrees that they could make a pit stop, presumably to grab something he needed.

Why was Eric sitting in the backseat? He’d actually volunteered to take the back, which was of course met by plenty of teasing from Olivia. But the car ride to his car was fine. Spirits were still high from the shopping excursion and everyone seemed to be in a good mood. It wasn’t until she shifted into park and asked Lizzie for her purse from the passenger side floor that a heavy silence took over. In that silence the only sound was the shuffling of Olivia rummaging through her purse for Eric’s keys because yes, she still held them hostage. And just like that Eric felt that distance between them all from his Barking drama wash over the car. How long would it take Olivia to fully trust him again? Was Lizzie still waiting for the answers that he had promised to give her “one day”? He was at a point of being completely dependent on the girls and this whole having to ask for his car keys only highlighted it further.

Eric had tried this very method with his own mother back in the day. He would take or hide things she wanted until she got her act together, like a reward system. Only his mother eventually stopped playing along and would find alternatives or go straight to the source. Keeping her wallet for instance as a way to keep her from buying drugs was useless when she could just go next door and ask Howard directly.

It wasn't like his car was his sole method of transportation. He could catch a train just as easily and Olivia knew this. But her goal here wasn’t to control where he went, just to force him to stay in contact with her. His entire life was in that car so if he wanted something he had to go through her. But how long would it be till he stopped caring enough to—no, stop it Eric. You have Lizzie, and Olivia, and they've done so much for you. You can't just turn around and let all they've done go to waste.

Eric mumbled a thanks once the keys were in his hand before letting himself out of the car and walking over to his Mum’s little red Ford. He sighed as he unlocked the door, it was a mess inside, he hadn’t really had a chance to fix it up since he’d gotten over being sick. But that would once again have to wait for another day, he didn’t want to keep Lizzie and Olivia waiting.

His guitar case was easy enough to locate but finding his song book took a little more effort. Soon enough though he was climbing back into the car with everything he needed. Olivia was watching him through the rear view mirror and he could sense her impending question, ”I was gonna drop into rehearsal tomorrow...see how they’re doing.” Hence the guitar and scripts and songs.
Once he was situated back inside Olivia was quick to shift back into drive and begin their journey back to the flat. It was quiet again as Eric reached forward to drop his keys into the cupholder between Lizzie and Olivia. She hadn’t asked for them back, but she didn’t need to. Eric distrusted himself more than she ever could. It was just safer this way, for everyone. Just until the ground beneath him solidified a little more.

The rest of the evening wasn’t all as awkward or tense, it actually began easing back up not long after leaving his car. Eric was quick to resume his favorite position at Lizzie’s side once they were back in the flat and it was as though that moment in the car never happened. They just carried on, now discussing his return to the theater as Lizzie was curious whether they would jump straight into the script she had helped him edit all those weeks ago at the kitchen island. Eric stayed with her for as long as possible that night and likely would have even crashed in her bed again had Ricki not come in after dinner and scared him off. Unintentionally of course. Ricki was just being Ricki and Eric was just too shy to stay. He bid his love goodnight and retreated back to the living room to go to sleep.

The next day he attended rehearsal for the first time in about a month. There were plenty of questions of course regarding his mysterious absence but Eric successfully dodged each one with half truths and his own questions. They had already started rehearsals for the winter production but his new script blessed with all of Lizzie’s input was well received when he presented it. So while for the moment Eric had a lesser role in rehearsals, it was time to start finalizing and making a schedule for when it was his time to return as director and playwright.

The weekend was pretty much just all back to normal bouncing between work and the theatre. Just like that and Eric had fallen back into his routine as though his two weeks in and out of Barking and then his week camped out on the sofa coughing up both lungs hadn’t even happened. It was amazing how quickly life just moved on. But then at the same time sometimes life seemed to just stop and time stood still. Like right now as he hesitated, his grip on the handle to the staff room weakening as his manager’s words ran through his head a second time.

It was Tuesday morning after his usual overnight shift and he had just been asked if he could stay and help because the opening team had mostly called out sick that morning. A large part of Eric wanted to say no. He was beyond tired, he wanted to go back to the flat and sleep, a shower would be nice too. He wanted his Lizzie. But despite everything he wanted he couldn’t find the words to turn down his manager. It was just one little word, two tiny letters, but Eric couldn’t bring himself to say the word “no” and instead with a sigh gave a slight nod of his head before verbally confirming he’d stay.

Eric’s next mistake was not asking how much longer he would need to stay. What he had initially thought would just be a couple hours max soon turned into an entire second shift. It was already late in the afternoon by the time he was released for the day and the only thing keeping him going was knowing that Lizzie would be waiting for him with open arms back at the flat. Well, that coupled with the fact that even though his car was closer than the flat, he didn’t have the keys so the flat was really the only place he could go. But anyways, back to Lizzie, she was the only thing that had kept him going all day. So you can imagine the mass of guilt that landed in his empty stomach when he finally checked his iPod to see worried texts from her asking where he was and if he was okay. He really really needed to get better at this whole communication thing, it would really be his downfall. He composed a quick response saying that he was leaving work now but he saved the gory details to tell her in person. Typing it all out just wasn’t him.

He finally walked into the flat sometime after 5pm, closer to 6 and was rushed at the door by a rather worried looking Lizzie. She couldn’t have been home for long but it hadn’t taken long for the panic to set in. She was speaking so quickly, asking just about everything she could think of until Eric’s arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her close, his back against the closed front door as he shushed her a couple times till she finally quieted enough to let him speak, ”Work was short staffed...they asked me to stay,” he hands had left her waist now and cupped her face as he leaned down to meet her, ”I’m so sorry love.”
Back at work he hadn’t really thought to contact anyone that he would be home late. Truthfully he hadn’t expected anyone to notice really. Usually no one was home till about now anyways. But after hearing Lizzie’s story of coming home and not seeing any sign that he had come home all day—he could see why that had her worried. Sure you could argue that he’d had plans after work. But that wasn’t usual for him, he understood where Lizzie’s fears stemmed from but at this point all he could do was hope he could kiss them away. And he tried, one hand staying on her cheek while the other returned to holding her small form close.

Once they finally parted he had to excuse himself to go pee. Honestly a shower sounded great but all he wanted was to return to Lizzie, so the shower would have to wait for now. When he did return he went over to slip off his new jacket and leave it with his guitar case in the corner of the room where he seemed to be accumulating his belongings while he went through life without a backpack. As he moved the guitar some he heard Lizzie comment that he hadn’t touched it since he brought it back to the flat. Eric paused at this and glanced over towards where she sat on a couch before kneeling down to undo the clasps keeping it shut, ”Alright then,” he was exhausted, his eyes heavy but there was an undeniable smile creeping into the corner of his mouth as he pulled out his acoustic guitar and moved to sit on the other couch. He strummed it once, twice, then softly the chords started up for his song. He hadn’t actually sung it all the way through yet with the music, so this would be the very first time. But it wasn’t a particularly difficult song and would be forgiving enough for him to freestyle should a note or lyric not fit in properly. He couldn’t hide the tired from his voice as he started up, not looking at Lizzie as he harmonized with his guitar, ”Ohh oh oh oh ohhh”
He still didn’t look at her as he started the first verse, his eyes instead trained on his fingers making sure he hit every chord correctly, ”I don’t ever ask you
Where you’ve been
And I don’t feel the need to
Know who you’re with
I can’t even think straight
But I can tell
That you were just with her
And I’ll still be a fool
I’m a fool for you…”
At that last line he finally looked up and over to her, there was no nerves or uncertainty. Just complete adoration for her as he moved into the chorus and on through to the end.​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 102618-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — eric & all the flatmates
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

“That’s a pretty dress. You going to wear that during Flat Night next week?” Lizzie looked up from the new assigned manuscript. Her eyes followed where Ricki was looking until they fell upon the black sequin dress she bought the other day. To be honest, between the growing to-do list and trying to spend as much time with Eric as possible, she forgot all about the dress until it was mentioned. That was saying a lot considering the dress has been hanging from the back of the door since she came home with Olivia and Eric on Friday after their jacket shopping. She loved the dress, that was obvious. And she loved that Eric loved it on her. But the truth was since Friday night, she’s failed to look in its direction when something more handsome continued to pull her attention onto him.

“I would like to, but I don’t think we’re going out this month?” Lizzie said. Her roommate questioned why she bought it if she wasn’t going to be wearing it anytime soon. To which Lizzie shrugged her shoulders and responded with, “Eric liked how it looked on me.” She caught Ricki rolling her eyes before turning her attention back to her manuscript.

Lizzie thought it was nice that things were gradually going back to normal in the flat. Well, truthfully it was a little bittersweet. While she was glad Eric was back on his normal schedule at work and rehearsals, she did miss having him around in the flat as often as he was when he was sick. Doing any work in the living room just felt too cold and too lonely without her perfect man sprawled out on his couch. But she had to remind herself that this was a good thing. It meant that he was back to being the same old Eric she knew and loved and that no one was out to hurt him anymore. So long as he came back to her at the end of the day, she would be content.

When Monday rolled in, Lizzie stared at her Google Calendar feeling a bit overwhelmed. Aside from school and her internship being a constant on her schedule, Lizzie realized she suddenly had a blossoming social life. Okay, not exactly, but she noticed that she made plans to meet up with friends quite a bit this week. There was the aforementioned Flat Night on Friday with her flatmates and Eric. The plans for Flat Night were still a little up in the air - Angel was holding on to hope that the rain forecasted for that day would go away - but regardless of what they were doing, it was still happening. She had dinner plans with Beth and Patricia on Wednesday, but that was mostly so that they could finalize their travel plans. See, the following week, she and her friends from the internship were off to Paris for the weekend. More specifically, they were going to enjoy Disneyland Paris for Halloween. Despite everything that Lizzie was going through, these plans were constantly occurring in the background until they were finally...finalized. This dinner was planned so itineraries could be discussed and approved and splits were paid. And then there was the rather secretive invitation for breakfast on Thursday by Andrew. Literally, the guy mentioned nothing else to their group chat other than he wanted to treat all of them to breakfast before classes. Not even Anna knew what the deal was with that.

So yeah, Lizzie was going to be rather busy this week. Between her continuous battle to catch up with school work, drowning in manuscripts and her raging social life, Lizzie found herself wishing it was already Tuesday. It was the only day of the week she would have quality time with Eric before he needed to sleep so he wasn’t exhausted during work and after work. She wished she saw him that morning. By the time she left her room, he was nowhere to be found. Which was strange since she was certain he had an overnight shift before rehearsals on Monday. Her only reasoning for him not being in the flat Monday morning had to have something to do with Olivia not being home as well. It always had something to do with Olivia somehow.

Hey babe!​

Hope you’re awake. I got out of work early.​

Was thinking of chilling at the cafe for a bit​

before going home...wanna meet up?​

Lizzie was relieved the platform at the station was pretty much empty. If only she could get out of her internship early all the time. She checked how long until the next train arrived before taking a seat on a nearby bench. As she waited for the next seven minutes to pass, she stared down at her phone. No response from Eric since she sent her text. Maybe he was still asleep. She could try again later when she reaches her transfer.

Babe? Last chance to join me at the cafe,​

sleeping beauty! LOL​

A couple sat across from her on the Overground. It was now nearing the end of the school or work day for many in the city. As such the trains were growing more and more crowded. Luckily, Lizzie filed into her transfer train before anyone remotely taller than her could step on her toes for a seat or decent space. Lizzie once again kept staring at her text thread with Eric. Surely he must be awake by now.

Heyyy i’m at the cafe now. Maybe you’re​

still sleeping. Kk i’ll just grab something​

real quick then go home.​

She fell in line at the cafe, shoving her phone into the back pocket of her jeans. Out of habit, she gazed up at the menu to check the options. By the time she reached the front, however, she ordered a chocolate croissant and a soy latte; her usual. She also ordered Eric a sandwich just in case he failed to eat before knocking out.

Babe?​

The food she bought at the cafe sat partially forgotten as Lizzie stared at the living room area. It looked almost exactly as she remembered it from last night. Eric’s pillows and blankets remained folded and stacked against the side of the long couch closest to the television. His guitar case rested against the arm of the couch while his notebooks were stacked on top of his blankets. Neither her old lavender jumper nor his new green jacket were in sight. Even the bathroom didn’t look recently occupied.

Lizzie looked over at the clock, it was quarter to three. Strange, Eric should have been at the flat by now.

She unlocked her phone again. Her text thread with Eric was still up on the messaging app she installed after the Barking excursion. No responses from him yet. When she looked around the living room once again, she realized that the scratched up iPod she was told about and shown was nowhere to be seen. That must mean he has it with him, right?

Are you coming over today?​

Would she be overreacting if she reached out to Olivia? Surely there had to be a good reason why Eric wasn’t responding to any of her messages. But...It was just…. Eric was usually so good at responding to her when she was aware he had wifi to connect to. It was for that very reasoning that she messaged him the whole time during her commute; she thought he was already at the flat and thus with access to wifi. But no, turns out he has not been at the flat since Monday morning. And thus we return to the previous question, would she be overreacting if she reached out to Olivia?

Lizzie didn’t want to panic. Everything was fine. Everything had to be fine. There was a perfectly good reason why Eric Oliver was still not present at the flat even though it was Tuesday and he was always the first one here on Tuesdays. Maybe he and Olivia were out having a late lunch? Maybe Olivia took Eric out on another shopping trip to make sure he was more prepared for the upcoming weather changes? Maybe he had some last minute meeting with the people in his troupe? He missed two weeks of rehearsals after all. Maybe he was at work? But...that didn’t make sense…. Why would he still be at work after an overnight shift? Is his employer even allowed to do that? Maybe he had an errand to run?

Or...maybe….

Lizzie looked at her Google Calendar. It was currently the 23rd. No, that didn’t seem right. She may not know much about the situation, but Lizzie was certain Eric’s trips to Barking happened roughly around the end or beginning of the month. It was still fairly middle of the month. There was no way he could be making that long journey to Barking today. And especially not with his car. Or maybe Olivia was with him to make sure that he wouldn’t get hurt by this Howard guy.

Her stomach turned. Any appetite she had before for her chocolate croissant vanished as the worry simmered then boiled inside. Her soy latte was basically cold now as was Eric’s sandwich.

As much as she didn’t want to, Lizzie was stuck on the possibility that Eric was currently in Barking for some reason she knew nothing about. But even with these thoughts, she did not dare reach out to Olivia. Just in case all of this was really nothing, she did not want Eric’s best friend and protector worrying for no reason. Hopefully, and there is a big emphasis on hopefully, if Olivia did know something about Eric, she would tell her.

Hey i'm at the flat now…​

Lizzie hadn’t moved from her spot at the kitchen island for half an hour now. The sandwich was now in the refrigerator and the chocolate croissant was stuffed in her purse. She tried to drink her latte thinking maybe that would calm her nerves. After a couple sips, it did nothing. The longer she waited in the common room for something, anything from Eric, the more she worried and the more she let all the bad images infest her thoughts.

What if he was back in Barking? What if he got into something bad? What if he was hurt? What if it was this Howard guy that hurt him? What if he was back in the abandoned church with the dust and trash and overall decay?

Babe? Is everything oka―​

The text remained unfinished and unsent as doubt joined her worry party. Was she starting to sound like she was nagging him? She already sent six text messages in over two hours. At some point Lizzie had to stop. She stared down at the message she began to type. With a deep sigh, she hit the backspace button until the message was completely erased.

The best thing she can do now to stop from worrying so much was keep herself distracted. Yeah, that seemed like a good plan. Find something to do while she waits. As long as she kept herself busy, time would surely fly and soon enough Eric would be back at the flat. He would be with her. He would be safe.

A whole hour was wasted trying to commit to one task. Reading her manuscript failed, the plot was just not enticing enough. School readings got her nowhere. She could barely make it through half a page before her eyes trailed off to the clock. Watching television barely helped and it was only because she had the volume turned up high. Earlier she tried talking to Lacey, but every time her phone went off to indicate a new text message came, her heart skipped a beat thinking that it was Eric even though she knew it was probably Lacey. When she resorted to drowning her thoughts and feelings away with television, her phone was completely abandoned face down on the coffee table. She couldn’t handle the disappointment any longer.

The great thing about the “double doors” rule in the flat was that anyone in the common room could practically hear when someone was moving about in the hallway. That being said, despite the loud volume from the television, Lizzie could have sworn she heard a door open down the hall. Her heart raced as she turned off the television and leapt off the couch. One look out the common room brought on a sense of relief Lizzie has not felt since that night in Barking. It was brief though. As relieved as she was that Eric was back, she still worried about him for nearly three hours.

Lizzie didn’t mean for the question to pour out. It was the result of suppressing the many urges she had over the last few hours to constantly ask for some kind of update from him. What happened to him? Why wasn’t he at the flat earlier? Did he tell anyone where he was? The questions just kept coming. It was only when Eric reached out for her and pulled her into his arms did she finally stop. Lizzie sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted.

They did not leave the front door until Eric kissed away her worry and all was right in their little private bubble. While Eric went off to the bathroom, Lizzie returned to the kitchen. She was starving, but only had a chocolate croissant to satisfy her hunger. It was probably smushed in her purse by now. She’d figure something out while she heated Eric’s sandwich for him.

“Here, I bought this for you earlier. Figured you might have been hungry after your overnight,” she explained as she placed the plate with his sandwich on the coffee table. As she watched him take off his jacket and place it on top of the pile in the corner of the room, Lizzie’s eyes momentarily traveled towards the other couch. “You know, you haven’t touched your guitar since you brought it inside last weekend.”

She honestly did not expect the response she got from that statement. It occurred to her as he pulled the guitar out of the case that she probably should have said something to stop him from feeling the need to play it. That hadn’t been her intention when she made the comment. She was simply pointing it out thinking he would offer some reason. But instead, she watched as Eric placed his guitar on his lap and strummed a couple chords. Then a couple more chords. Then a string of chords that were strangely familiar to Lizzie, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on why.

It wasn’t until the chorus did Lizzie finally figure out how she knew this tune. It was the song Eric was working on when she walked in on him the last Tuesday he was here...all those weeks ago. After everything that happened between then and now, she actually forgot about the recording she filmed on Snapchat that she saved on her phone. But despite the time that passed, she remembered the chorus well. Now, with the knowledge she was actually listening to the entire song, Lizzie listened intently to every word.

“Wow…” Lizzie breathed out. “That was beautiful.” It really was. She still felt the longing that resonated from the lyrics. “You really are an amazing writer, you know that right?”

Lizzie and Eric did not have the flat to themselves for very long. The two were in the middle of a conversation about the song and how Eric had intentions of incorporating it into his next script when Angel and Malcolm arrived. From that point on, it was near impossible for the two of them to get any alone time together. Between Angel once again trying to offer ideas for Flat Night and Malcolm trying to get his best friend to leave the “lovely couple” alone, alone was the last thing they were allowed. That didn’t mean they didn’t try. There was some strength to their efforts of keeping their little bubble from bursting. But sometimes Angel knew the right words to say to try and C his way into Lizzie and Eric’s A and B time.

Eventually, Eric excused himself to shower. This was Lizzie’s cue to also leave the continuous Flat Night conversation happening whenever Angel was around. He really was adamant that they go out on Friday even though the majority vote at the flat meeting voted for staying in. Some of the clear headed flatmates preferred staying dry. When it came to on and off rain throughout the day, no one was willing to take the chance that they would catch the weather during the off time.

“Lizzie’s in her room,” she heard Malcolm say later. Seconds after, there was a knock on her door. Since the door was slightly open already, she didn’t stop what she was doing to open it. She gave Eric the go ahead to come in.

“You finished in the bathroom?” Lizzie asked Eric now as she hung clean clothes over her arm. “I’m going to take my turn before Angel calls dibs on it for the next, like, hour or so. You can chill here, if you want.” She then excused herself to shower.

As romantic as it would have been to say that Lizzie and Eric enjoyed their private time together in her room once they were both nice and clean, that honestly did not happen. Sure, upon Lizzie’s return from her shower the two spent the time waiting for their long hair to dry by catching each other up on their days. Lizzie even told Eric more details about her upcoming Disney trip next week. But she could not be fooled. The moment they both got comfortable in her bed - yes, that’s correct, in - Eric was a lost cause. He tried so hard to stay awake so they could talk. But after an overnight shift and then a second shift right after, the poor thing had to be so exhausted by now. He’s basically been awake for over twenty-four hours. So when Eric suddenly stopped responding while she told him about her morning plans on Thursday, Lizzie checked to see if he fell asleep before pulling the blankets higher. Looks like he was going to be staying with her tonight.

Lizzie’s schedule that week definitely kept her busy. When she wasn’t working on assignments for school or her internship, she was out with friends. And when she wasn’t doing either of those, usually back in the flat late in the evenings, she was spending as much time with Eric as she could before one or both of them inevitably fell asleep. Suffice it to say, despite all the excitement that occurred that week - between finalizing everything for her Disney trip and taking part in what apparently was Andrew’s proposal to Anna - Lizzie was relieved when the flat successfully persuaded Angel to accept that Flat Night this month would be in and not out.

“I’m surprised that Eri is not with you,” Ricki commented, her voice trailing off as she went to their room to drop off her things. “Or is he not joining us tonight?”

Lizzie adjusted the cat ears headband on her head while she waited for Olivia to hand her another bottle to put in the refrigerator. The two took on the task of going supply shopping for Flat Night when they both got out of work. “No, he is. He’s just going to be late. Rehearsals,” Lizzie explained as she eyed the bottle of wine Olivia handed over.

It took a couple more hours for the rest of the flat to arrive. By the rest, it was Angel and Malcolm the girls were waiting for. While Malcolm came in with his hands full with the take away they ordered, Angel sauntered in cradling two long bottles in his arms. The moment he placed the bottles on the kitchen island, Lizzie felt her stomach turn. He really brought home new bottles of gin and whiskey. Olivia was quick to question if this was some kind of punishment for having Flat Night be indoors. To which Angel “sweetly” argued that if he was really going to punish the others, he would have bought tequila. Always a queen, that Angel was.

October’s Flat Night began an hour later than they had planned. It started with a late dinner at the dining table. As always, multiple conversations occurred at once when they could not stick to a single topic all together. During that time, Lizzie, Olivia and the boys finished the first bottle of wine while Ricki was already on her second bottle of beer. Eventually, after another half an hour of strictly conversation, the flat was split into two teams. One team prepared the board games and other games while the other team cleaned up and packed away the leftovers. Lizzie volunteered to be on clean up so that she could prepare Eric a plate for when he arrived.

It should be mentioned that the flat didn’t exactly have their own supply of board games. It was nothing like the cafe she and Eric went to ages ago during their night out together. The flat had the typical supply of board games any apartment with young adults needed to be entertained. Naturally, they gravitated towards Cards Against Humanity. But eventually the sexual innuendos and lowkey messed up choices lost its flare and they moved on.

That flat was in the middle of a game of Heads Up when Eric arrived. Lizzie was in the middle of laughing over Ricki’s tipsy impersonation of Snow White when she noticed him standing at the open double doors. “Babe! Yay, you made it!” she rejoiced as she carefully placed her wine glass back on the coffee table. She then got up, carefully, from the couch to greet him. As expected, their public displays of affection got a reaction from the others in the common room, but Lizzie ignored them.

“How bad is the rain right now?” she asked Eric as he took off his jacket. She watched as some of the raindrops that managed to cling to the jacket fell to the floor. “Did you wanna change or dry off first? There’s also some leftovers for you in the kitchen.” ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 102618-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

So Olivia had been right, as always. As much as he stubbornly didn’t want to admit it, Eric was thankful his bestie had forced a new jacket into his life as the rain poured down on him most of his commute back to the flat. But of course, as soon as he got to their street it began to let up a little, he just had horrible luck and timing. Still, he was warm, and dry, as he pushed back the hood once he was under the overhang at the front door. Eric sighed as he went about unlocking and letting himself in. It had been a long day at work and then the rain had just sucked what energy he’d had left.

After the wave of warmth that hit him(not that the flat itself was warm but compared to the weather outside), the first thing he noticed was all the noise coming from down the hall and to the right. Eric had known it was flat night, he knew very well that the plan was to stay in on account of the rain. But still all throughout the day he had repeatedly forgotten and then later remembered that it was today, and then it would slip his mind again as work consumed him followed by throwing himself into rehearsal in his efforts to be present and involved even though they weren’t working on his production yet. Well that moment of forgetting and remembering struck again now as he heard all the laughter coming from the common room.

One second. That’s all it took for Lizzie to wash away all his bad feelings from the day as she completely overwhelmed all his senses with her presence alone. He was so relieved to be reunited with her and honestly just wanted to take her by the hand and lead her down the hall to her room…
”You’re late!”
Angel had danced off towards the kitchen when Eric first appeared and he now returned to infiltrate their happy little bubble as he handed Eric a glass of...was that gin? Eric was definitely caught off guard by this, he was still processing that he was home. He was hungry, Lizzie had made a good point about changing, and now here was Angel insisting that he had to catch up. But while the others had started off simple, Angel was just tossing him into the fire with this.

Eric did manage to eat some after Angel’s welcome home ceremony, but the other male was dead set on catching Eric up to their level. In the end Eric didn’t get to change and so flat night in was to be spent in his button up he had literally been wearing all day from work and then rehearsal. But several drinks later and that button up was now button down. He was plenty warm now and a large part of his chest was exposed while he also rolled his sleeves up his forearms for extra comfort and move-ability….was that even a word? Was it mobility? Eric’s brilliant mind could not seem to focus right now. Yeah he’d played an entire scrabble game while drinking with Lizzie, but that had been a date. Sitting across from one another and respecting each other’s space. There was still plenty of respect between them, but now her space was his space and vise versa. Eric could not keep his hands to himself and if there wasn’t a drink in his hands, courtesy of Angel, then there was a Lizzie.

The games continued and split into two teams now that Eric was here to even it out. It was boys versus girls but both teams seemed to be winning and losing rather equally.

After Eric successfully guessed Lizzie’s word she ran back to him on the couch while the others all complained for the hundredth time. ”Eri you’re supposed to be on our team!” But Eric wasn’t listening as he grabbed Lizzie’s tiny waist and pulled her down to sit on his lap, her cat ears falling off in all the movement.
”Ew, someone stop them.” Despite her words, Ricki was grinning at the kiss that had followed their in house couple’s PDA. As Lizzie resituated herself to a more comfortable sitting position, Eric reached to pick up her cat ears; only instead of returning them to her head he placed them on his own head.

The flat put up with their couples antics for as long as they could stand until Angel declared it was time for a new game: Never Have I Ever.

“Lizzie you start!”
She started off stating that she had never ever smoked which brought up a little confusion that needed clarifying, “Smoked what?”
“Anything.”
Oh. Well then. All five of the UKers reached for their shots in near unison now. Ricki was on Lizzie’s other side and so Olivia prompted her to go next. Yes. Eric did a little internal triumphant dance knowing that he was going last now so he would have time to think of something. He was really never good at these sort of games. Ricki of course complained at it being her turn but she didn’t miss a beat as though she’d had her statement in her pocket already, ”Never have I ever gotten a tattoo.”

Shit. Once again half the flat picked up their glasses, though Lizzie was included this time.
”Oi Eri, you should take a shot for every tattoo you have.“ Eric forced an obviously fake laugh alongside Angel’s very real laugh. Then raised his hand holding his drink surprisingly steady and expertly raised his index finger off the glass to point at Angel as though warning him not to try that again, “Haha—no. Not a chance.” That would be over thirty shots and that would be the death of Eric Oliver. No thank you, hard pass.

After taking his poison and returning his glass to the table, Eric turned his attention to Lizzie. He couldn’t help himself, shifting his leg to cross over into her bubble as he leaned closer intending to whisper something to her, his turn was last after all, he had time, ”Eric!”
”Whaaat?”
”You’re next.”
What? No he wasn’t. All games go in a circle. You’re not supposed to just randomly pick the next person. But all of Eric’s arguments got shot down as Ricki, Angel and Olivia all ganged up on him. So screw the circle then, apparently it was Eric’s turn now and his mind was spinning, partially thanks to all the hard liquor kicking in, partially because he simply didn’t have a clue what to say, ”Uhm…” There was so much he had done, but at the same time so much that he hadn’t gotten to experience because of how demanding his life had been. But the trick here was what was safe to say and wouldn’t incriminate him in front of the flat? Most of these game statements tended to be sexual in nature or at least pushing boundaries. But Eric wasn’t about to open up his sex life like that for everyone and all the “safe” ones he had done. Skipped school? Check? Cigarettes and tattoos? Check and check. Should he say he’d never been in a car crash? But that was weirdly serious and sort of specific. The goal here was to get as many people as possible. Then it dawned on him, something that was a common occurrence to most but not to Eric who had lived in England all his life, ”I haven’t—“
”Never have I ever!”
”—never have I ever been on a plane.”
As soon as he finished speaking there was a round of grumbling complaints from everyone over getting got on such a simple one, “Oh come on, that’s so boring.”
“Sorry,” he was most definitely not sorry, ”Bottoms up.”

Olivia was next and she paused with a knowing gleam in her eye. She had a good one and she knew it, ”Never have I ever…” Oh get on with it already, enough with the theatrics, ”Seen Love Actually.”
Everyone just about lost it with that one. How could Olivia consider herself a Britt without having seen Love Actually? Surely that had to be illegal or something. But while she gloated the rest of the room raised their glasses together, “Cheeers!!” The camaraderie between them was so real as they clinked glasses over having all seen Love Actually like the proper Brits they were. Plus Lizzie…

“Ugh, anyways,” Angel wasted no time in moving the game forward, ”Never have I ever been told that I look like my Dad—which is fine cause my Mum is gorgeous~”
”And you said mine was boring…” Lizzie was trying to stifle her giggles now as she elbowed him for his commentary but it seemed Angel hadn’t even noticed.

Olivia on the other hand seemed to be having a momentary crisis over this as she reached for her glass, “Does that mean I look like a guy??”
“Nooooo you’re so pretty!”
Eric had followed her lead though and quietly took his shot in hopes that nothing much would come from it. But of course it was just his luck for someone to pick up on it and proceed to ask if they could see. What was it with people and always wanting to see family photos and pictures of you as a baby? Well sorry guys, no photo here, “I never met him,” in true Eric fashion his words were slow as he continued on, almost as though he were thinking of each word to say before he carefully spoke, ”Mum just used to tell me I reminded her of him.”
“What does your Mum look like then? Bet you got your hair from her~” Had he not been drinking he would have noticed Olivia glance away and distract herself by reaching for a snack in the center of the table during the pause Eric left.
”She didn’t—“ His hand ran through his hair as he dropped another excuse only he had forgotten he wore the cat ears now and so he cut himself off when they fell from his head. ”I don’t have any of her either,” that was such a lie though. He had several photos of her buried in the depths of his car, ”Not on me at least.”

There was an awkward seriousness to his words now as he sort of trailed off and reached to grab the headband and put it back on. He really did not want to stay on this topic any longer and honestly was fighting the temptation to just pick up the next drink and get it over with. Maybe he just wasn’t drunk enough. Maybe he needed more so he wouldn’t be so weighed down by his own sad stories. One day he’d learn to be careful what he wished for.

There was a silence after Eric ended the last turn on a slightly heavy note, though whether anyone other than Olivia picked up the undertones was up in the air. Still, trust Malcolm to try and lighten the mood and kick the fun up a notch, ”Never have I ever walked in on someone having sex.”
”Gross.”
Gross was right. Eric was trying to block the memory from mind as he, Angel and Ricki all reluctantly reached for their shots.

”Did everyone go?”
”Back to Lizzie!”
They were going another round? Oh god...with the exception of his own turn Eric had just taken five fairly consecutive shots and he was not doing so hot. He had wrapped himself around Lizzie’s arm with no indication that he would be letting go anytime soon, ”Never have I ever dated someone because I felt sorry for them.”
Honestly, Eric didn’t exactly comprehend it completely at first, he had to repeat it in his head a couple times before coming to the conclusion that no, he had not done that either. The girls on the other hand…

Okay, he was ready, he had his statement in mind. Eric started to speak, forgetting that the circle was stupid on their side, ”Nooooo, it’s Ricki’s turn!” Well good thing Angel was policing this game.
”Never have I ever made out with the same gender.”
Angel was in the middle of some comment about “the true queens” when he fell silent as Eric reached for his glass, ”Ohh~ I knew it~” Angel was grinning ear to ear now but Eric just shrugged and took his shot. What was there to say? Drinking games with his theatre troupe were a little more intimate than this had been with the flat.

Okay so now it was his turn. Yes? Yes. But poor Eric had already forgotten what he had wanted to say and so had to come up with something else on the spot, ”Uhm...never have I ever….hooked up with an ex?”
Sure, that was a good one. He knew one hundred percent that he would get Angel back with that one. But some movement beside him and Eric watched as Lizzie drank now. This weird jealous feeling stirred up within him and he almost posessively tightened his grip on Lizzie. Logically thinking, it didn’t matter. They were in London, he had no exes here to compete with, but Eric was too drunk to think logically. All he could think about was his love with someone else and he vowed in that instant that he would never let that happen.

”Never have I ever dated someone longer than two months!” Olivia’s voice pulled his attention away from Lizzie as someone pointed out that that wasn’t exactly something to be proud of. Eric, Lizzie and Malcolm all grabbed their glasses but Eric hesitated to drink while the other two downed theirs.

”Is it that cute guy on your Instagram that you—“ Eric stopped listening at that point. He didn’t want to hear this, he was also too preoccupied staring at his still full glass contemplating if he was supposed to drink. He hadn’t really had a proper relationship, but yeah he’d been involved with someone for longer than two months...or what about school back in Barking? How long had they dated for…?

Eric didn’t get a chance to find his answer as it was now brought to light that of the three of them he was the only one who hadn’t actually taken his shot, ”Uhm...well—“
”Just drink, Eric.”
Okay, so he drank. Ugh, the earlier statement of not feeling so hot was now considered an understatement. There was this sick feeling settling in and steadily infiltrating his happy drunk feels. He kind of just wanted to lay down, but rather than voicing this he instead just sat back against the sofa and rewrapped his arm around Lizzie’s while his head rested on the top of her’s. This game felt as though it had gone on for forever and he was quickly fading now.

“Never have I ever~” Angel’s eyes landed on Eric and stayed there tauntingly as if making an accusation, “Dated someone for money.” Eric stared back with a hatred growing in his heart for Angel. Why couldn’t he just let Eric be? All he wanted to do was hold his little Lizzie while she ran her fingers through his hair and fed him grapes or something. But here was Angel intent on making Eric lean forward every single turn to grab his glass.

”What!?”
There was a fair bit of outcry at this, mostly from Ricki and Olivia who found the statement out of line for flat night, but Angel just pointed at Eric the second he started to raise his glass to his lips, ”So it’s true!”
It was no secret among the flat that Angel had some rather sketchy theories concerning Eric. Poor Eric though hadn’t even realized he was instinctively trying to take the shot until Angel spoke. At this realization he froze up and tried to deny it but that only prompted Angel to call him out on not drinking, ”Angel pleaseeee I….everyturn.” Eric’s voice faded mid sentence with his slow and slurred words but Angel was adamant, ”Drink. Unless you’d rather explain~?”
He really did not like the way Angel was watching him, he was far too drunk to process why he felt so uncomfortable, but had he been sober he would have been quick to point out how almost predatory it felt. Angel was enjoying this far too much.

In the end Eric could not defend himself and took the shot like a champ to save himself from having to share his story with the entire flat. He was no longer intertwined with Lizzie now, too far gone for his clingy tendencies to show; Eric was teetering slightly as he sat, fighting to keep his balance.

It was now that Olivia suggested they call it a night, surely everyone had had enough to drink and it was clear her best friend was barely hanging on. But Angel was quick to protest and whined for one last turn since after Malcolm it would have gone full circle. Olivia agreed a little begrudgingly, she wanted to go to bed. But so it was Malcolm’s turn now to ask the final statement, and Eric was using every last shred of his will power to concentrate on his newly formed bromantic partner. But Malcolm seemed to be drawing a blank until a shifty looking devil on his shoulder leaned in to whisper in his ear. As Angel pulled away, Malcolm repeated his words without putting much thought into them, ”Never have I ever slept with someone ten years older.”

Despite being extremely intoxicated by this point, Eric was still able to glare over at Angel who was smirking with anticipation for his response. When had this game turned into “personal attacks on Eric”? Malcolm was glancing over at everyone to see that no one was drinking but the silence between Eric and Angel was so loud that it wasn’t long before all attention landed on the two of them, ”Well~?”

Eric was still hesitating whether or not to drink. Well, it was a little more so like he was fighting his body on this one. A part of him knew he was supposed to drink but he also wasn’t feeling great; understatement of the year. Not to mention his shred of rational thinking didn’t want to give in to Angel’s bullying. But Eric’s competitiveness was pushing him over the edge.

”Alright I think we’re—“ As Olivia stood up and reached to take his glass from him, Eric stubbornly threw his head back and downed the final shot before slamming the now empty glass down a little too hard on the table. It was fine, the glass was fine. But Eric was visibly irritated and he still stared, as best he could, across at Angel.

It really wasn’t often that Eric got angry. Annoyed, sure, but this sort of directed anger was unusual for him. Some people grew a temper when drunk but that wasn’t it either, this was purely a result of Angel’s endless taunts and Eric was fed up with it. His vibe wasn’t exactly hostile, there was no concern that Eric would leap across the table to clobber the flat’s devil. He was just clearly in a mood now, a complete flip from the sickeningly sweet lovey dovey ness he and Lizzie had subjected the rest of the flat to all night, ”Ooookay, yeah we’re done.” Eric’s hand was still on the glass but Olivia took it from him now before beginning to gather the others.

Eric decided he needed to get up and so after murmuring to Lizzie that he would be right back followed by a peck to her cheek he finally peeled away from her for the first time that night. He must have been too invested in the game to really notice just how affected he was, but nine shots later and not to mention the “pregame” drinks Eric was definitely feeling it now as he struggled to get to his feet. He held onto Lizzie for balance till he was standing but then once he was up he didn’t move. Not intentionally at least, he clearly couldn’t stop swaying. Everything was spinning around him and for the first time since his fever the common room actually felt really really warm. Maybe he was getting sick again...?

You know what sounded great right now? Water. He had stood up without purpose but now that he had a mission in mind he took his first clumsy step away from the couch—and kicked the leg of the coffee table.
”Sorry!” Thankfully he had never taken his boots off since getting home so his toes were fine, but an empty bottle knocked onto its side with a clattering sound. It didn’t break or fall off the table but it definitely caught Olivia’s attention from the kitchen as she proceeded to yell for them to be careful followed with, ”I don’t want to be up all night cleaning broken glass!”

Eric sort of heard her but honestly was having a hard time processing anything. He was too focused on the mission at hand. Okay, he was on his feet...why was he on his feet? Oh right, water. Kitchen. He took another cautiously wobbly step, and then another trying to step around the table. But Eric’s maneuvering skills were severely impeded and by the third step he ended up on the floor. He wasn’t going anywhere.
”Ow,” he also wasn’t hurt but still the word fell out of his mouth quickly followed by another apology. Everything had gone black for a moment when he hit the floor but as he slowly opened his eyes everything was still moving around him at a sickening pace.

There’s nothing more sobering than realizing your friend is in trouble and this was especially true for Olivia now as she zeroed in on her best friend and quickly abandoned her cleaning task in the kitchen. Most of the others had cleared out of the common space by now. Angel had called dibs on the shower and Ricki had retreated to her room to probably knock out for the night which left Olivia, Lizzie and Malcolm to deal with their mess of a friend.

Olivia had crossed the room in a jiffy but Malcolm was already attempting to pull Eric to his feet to move him back to the couch. This just got a groan of disapprovement though as drunk weight Eric did not want to be moved. After a little debating with the girls over their options, Malcolm ended up just moving Eric back a bit so he was at least propped up against the couch even though he still sat on the floor.

While she knelt down to his level to check him out Olivia was cursing Angel under her breath. She hadn’t seen Eric too drunk to stand in a long time; Angel had pushed him too far and too fast.
”Eric,” despite her concern she kept her voice soft and steady as she called out to him trying to gauge his responsiveness. At first she got nothing but when she tried again a little more sternly he repeated her name back to her in his attempt at the same tone of voice. Okay, so he was still trying to be funny, that was a good sign at least.
”Is he gonna be okay?”
Olivia sighed as she glanced over to Malcolm, this whole scenario was giving her way too much dejavu, ”I hope so...I’m gonna get him some water, can you guys sit with him?”

She left to retrieve whatever other supplies she thought might be needed and Eric felt himself slipping to the side until a hand stopped him and held him upright. By the time Olivia had returned he had thoroughly attached himself to Lizzie and was still refusing to move to the couch no matter how many times they tried to assure him it would be more comfortable.

”She died…” It was a good while later now. Malcolm and Olivia had both gone to bed already and after throwing up a couple times Eric was reviving some with the help of many small sips of water and his ever diligent Lizzie. He was on the sofa by now, lying on his side using Lizzie’s lap as a pillow with a towel under his head, “just in case” as insisted upon by Olivia earlier. His hair was currently being hugged by Lizzie’s scrunchie ever since he threw up the second time but she still ran her fingers along his scalp the way he loved it so. That was actually how they got on the subject. Lizzie had commented on his hair and circled back to during the game when his hair had been brought up in regards to getting it from his mother. But Eric hadn’t really given a clear response: ”I don’t really remember?” That had certainly confused Lizzie who went on to clarify, asking if his mother still lived in Barking, which brings us back to the present: she died.

”It was uhm...five years ago…? Six?” Saying he didn’t remember had been a lie, meant to be an excuse to save him from talking about it. But in truth Eric remembered his mother quite vividly and yes, he had definitely gotten his hair from her. Eric pointed out his false reply with an apology, ”Uhm...sorry...yeah, she had really long hair. Darker though...almost black.”
Eric shifted so he lay on his back to look up at her, the movement churned his still upset stomach but Eric was still too intoxicated to care about much more than focusing all his attention on Lizzie and then in turn eating up all that she reciprocated, ”...sorry.” He really needed to stop apologizing but he felt so bad dumping this bit of news on her. He hadn’t meant to be such a buzzkill, he’d been enjoying this alone time with her but now the memory of his mother was coming to the front of his mind and he was hating her for infringing on his time with Lizzie. Why did everything have to relate back to her? She was gone, why couldn’t she stay gone?​

​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 102718-----------❖ LOCATION — lizzie's bedroom-----------❖ COMPANY — sleeping eric
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

It appeared that the later into the night it became, the louder it got in the flat. It was safe to say that the alcohol and the overall excitement of Flat Night Game Night could be to blame for that. Here is to hoping the neighbors had no problems with the noise....if they even heard the noise. Lizzie was currently not aware if the thin walls of the flat extended to the outside world. They did have a lot of windows though….

Now that Eric was joining in, the flat was excited at the prospect of finally having access to even teams to play more games that didn’t involve cards or a board. As Malcolm and Ricki took their turn at Fishbowl (erm, Salad Bowl since that was the only bowl big enough to use), Lizzie scooted closer to Eric on the couch. After a couple rounds of team games that were split into boys versus girls, the flat grew lowkey tired of the blossoming couple cheering each other on or helping each other out when they were not even on the same time. To resolve that problem, three teams of two and toss Lizzie and Eric together.

It was hard to tell if this game of Fishbowl was going to work out in the end. The game was brought up at the last minute and so one of the flatmates searched for a template of words and people online and went from there. God only knows if there were going to be some obscure names, phrases or words that no one would know.

“Oi! Lovebirds!” Ricki cried out in-between fits of giggles. She and Malcolm apparently didn’t do so well during their turn. “You’re up!”

Lizzie looked at Eric for a moment, flashing him a confident smile. They got this. They just needed to get off the comfortable couch first. Wasn’t very easy while under the influence of alcohol. As Eric got up, keeping a hand up so the cat ears headband he stole earlier wouldn’t fall off his head, Lizzie looked down at her phone one last time. Four more likes came in for the picture she took of her and Eric during Angel and Olivia’s turn that she posted on Instagram. All of her American friends seemed to be enjoying it more than her English friends. Maybeeee because it was reaching close to midnight in London. Forgive her, she’s a bit tipsy at the moment.

Although, she was not tipsy enough because she and Eric crushed their turn. The other flatmates groaned at the end of their time. They got twelve words and only skipped on two because Eric didn’t know how to explain his way through a couple celebrities. While the flat whined about how they were basically cheating because of their love connection, Lizzie skipped over to Eric to celebrate their victory. If there was any more reason for Lizzie to truly believe she and Eric were practically made for each other, crushing it at this game about did it.

“I’m going to get a refill,” Lizzie explained as she grabbed her empty wine glass from the coffee table. Eric, obviously, insisted on going with her. Back in the living room, Angel insisted on a round two. So while the second round began without the lead couple at the couches, Lizzie hung around at the kitchen island. She took a seat at one of the stools then motioned for Eric to take the one beside her. In the hours since Game Night began, the table was covered from all corners with food, snacks, and drinks. Lizzie fished for the wine bottle Malcolm opened earlier. She found it hiding behind a bag of [st]chips[/s] crisps and emptied what remained into her glass.

She didn’t drink it though, not immediately. Instead she wanted something much sweeter. Blame on the alcohol if you want.

“Hey,” she called out to Eric, keeping her voice low between them. Not that she needed to call out to him really. When she turned to look at Eric, he was already looking at her. Perfect. “Come here,” she continued, tugging at the highest button still clinging his now buttoned down shirt together. Lizzie smirked as she drew closer and it remained even when she felt his lips against hers. Yes, this was definitely much much sweeter. And much more fun than whatever was happening in the liv—

“Okay, really, do you two need to be hosed down or something?” Angel cried out suddenly. He seemed to always be eager to burst their little bubble the moment it came up.

Angel cut the game of Fishbowl short before Lizzie and Eric could have their turn and declared that they were going to start a new game: Never Have I Ever.

As deadly as the drinking game tended to be, Lizzie was relieved that they did manage to get through the first round with fairly tame statements. At least she only took a shot three of the six turns. Although, Lizzie was still so utterly shocked that Olivia has never seen Love Actually. Even she’s seen it before coming to London. Did that mean she was more British than Olivia?

Probably not. After all, her athletic career all throughout her life refused to let her experience smoking once.

Blame it on the wine and the three shots, but Lizzie suddenly had a difficult time figuring out what her statement would be on her turn. She sat among the rest of the flat for a moment pondering it over. When she finally spoke, it was honestly just a string of word vomit. Sure, it had some merit to it, but it wasn’t the ideal statement she would have given. At least it got Ricki and Olivia to drink.

Lizzie’s statement seemed the most tame compared to all that happened next.

She watched as Eric picked up his shot glass to take a drink for Ricki’s turn. She was curious to hear who of the same gender he kissed before. No, sorry. Made out. There were obviously big differences between the two. For instance, if Ricki said “kissed someone of the same gender” Lizzie would have taken a shot. She and JKL were just silly that way. But no, her roommate had emphasized the statement to making out with someone. That was more than just kissing. It was what she and Eric did earlier in the kitchen. Who was this person that kissed Eric’s lips before she did?

Wait...was she still just curious? Or is she now jealous?

Eric was now taking his turn before her intoxicated mind could figure that out. Hooked up with an ex? By the power of alcohol, Lizzie immediately thought about Brandon; her last ex-boyfriend. The one that had the most potential. The one that was doing so well in the five months they were dating. The one she broke her cardinal rule for regarding not getting tattoos for boyfriends. The one that JKL was so certain would make it to the coveted six month achievement. But inevitably, the one that said he could not and would not do long distance relationships just so that she can go to London for school.

Brandon was the one ex that she went back to after breaking up. Because at the time, she thought he was the one and he missed her and she thought being together again would persuade him to reconsider. He didn’t. And for that, Lizzie grabbed her shot glass and took a drink. As the warm liquid traveled down her throat, she leaned into Eric’s shoulder and nestled against him. Brandon was her past. The man at her side right now was her present. And, call her crazy, in love, or just drunk, but she wanted him to also be her future.

Yet somehow, her past continued to come back up and basically punish her. Why couldn’t she take a shot for things she did with Eric? Whatever they may be. With Brandon and her five month relationship with him once again in her mind, Lizzie grabbed the freshly poured shot glass to take her back to back shot. Okay, that’s it. Done. No more talk or thought of Brandon— “Is it that guy on your Instagram that you went to Disney World with?” Ricki. Why? Lizzie’s brain was a little fuzzy as she attempted to focus on the question. Nodding her head as her attempt to respond was more difficult than she initially thought. “How long were you two together?” Really? A follow-up question?

Lizzie cleared her throat. “Five?” Wait, why did that come out as a question? She knew exactly how long she and Brandon were together before they broke up.

The conversation about her past relationship did not push onward after that once it was pointed out by the rest of the group that Eric still did not take his shot for this round. He needed to take a shot? So, he made out with someone of the same gender and has dated someone for longer than two months. Well...it couldn’t have been them. Their first date was last month. She wished she had been more prepared for these reveals. Of all the hours they spent together, talking and getting to know each other, why did they never talk about their past relationships? If they had, maybe she would know how to keep her inner jealous feels in check.

God, those back to back shots were the worst. Plus those two, Lizzie was at five shots since they started the game. It was getting harder to concentrate. How the hell is Eric still going? He basically took back to back shots almost every round that wasn’t his.

Lizzie would quickly learn that complaining about being drunk and back to back shots was nothing compared to the remainder of this round. It was just Angel and Malcolm left and it was very obvious from the moment Angel took his turn that he had intentions of targeting just one person: Eric.

It was difficult to pinpoint why exactly Lizzie focused only on Olivia during Angel’s turn. Obviously, she didn’t expect her flatmate to date someone for money. As far as she knew, she already made enough on her own that she didn’t need it. But whatever the reason, as she felt her arm being tugged back and forth, she couldn’t get herself to look at Eric. And then he let go and she felt as if she was sitting on her own separate island miles away from him. Just the thought of him ever dating someone - for longer than two months maybe? - and getting paid for it was like a punch to the chest. No. Not her Eric. This perfect specimen of a person that swept her off her feet from day one. This could not be the same person that would even think of playing with someone's emotions for profit. Why? Why would he do that?

“Never have I ever slept with someone ten years older.” Even while she was staring directly at Olivia, Lizzie could see from her peripheral as Eric grabbed for his shot glass one last time. Not only did she feel like she was getting punched in the chest again, but now it was as if she got dropped kicked in the stomach. She felt sick. Who was this guy sitting next to her?

The sickening feeling had a sort of sobering effect on Lizzie. Or at least, she thought that was what this sudden exhaustion was. She knew that it couldn’t be possible. After plenty of glasses of wine and then five shots earlier, she could not be sobering up this quickly. And yet, here she was, staring at nothing in particular just to not look at Eric while her head felt less fuzzy and her vision stopped spinning. Whatever remained was this full on exhaustion like a dumbbell weighing down on her. She wanted this night to end.

Lizzie was stuck in her own mind as Olivia put her foot down and called an end to Flat Night. If asked, she could not describe any of the events that happened from the end of Never Have I Ever until she heard the coffee table scrape against the hardwood floor. When she finally snapped out of her daze, Eric was on the floor and Malcolm and Olivia rushed over to help him up. Or at least tried to. In the end, Malcolm helped Eric over to lean against the couch. Looks like he would be stuck on the floor until he somehow managed to sober up enough.

“Hey,” Olivia called out, her voice cutting through despite speaking at a low whisper. “Are you here?”

Lizzie blinked. She then looked up at her flatmate as if surprised to see her there. Well, she kind of was surprised. The last thing she recalled was being on the couch still while Eric clung to her leg in an attempt to remain upright. How she managed to make it to the kitchen with empty bottles in her hands was beyond her. Maybe she somehow switched gears into autopilot while she remained drowning in her increasingly confusing thoughts.

It appeared that all it took was one lost look from Lizzie for Olivia to understand why she could not get her flatmate to focus. “Angel’s a git, okay? Don’t let him get to you,” she explained as she took the bottles from Lizzie and tossed them into the trash bag assigned for recycling. “Don’t let him sway you from what you already know. He thinks he knows everything, you know this. But I promise, you know more than he ever will. Nothing he did tonight should make you change your mind about Eric. I promise. Whatever he’s done in the past was essential.” Lizzie was quick to note in her fast sobering mind that Olivia had chosen her words carefully.

There were two heaving sounds from the other side of the common room. “Quick! I need a bag!” Both Lizzie and Olivia looked over at the living room to find Malcolm currently on all fours looking right back at them while panting. Eric was no longer on the floor. Instead, he was half sprawled out on the couch with his legs still dangling over the edge. What caught the girls’ attention almost immediately was the rise and fall of Eric’s shoulders.

Lizzie rushed across the common room back to the couch, extending her hand out the entire time until Malcolm was in reach of the plastic bag she was holding. Whatever remaining energy Eric had disappeared the moment his face sank into the bag. The living room was filled only with his heaving sounds while Malcolm kept the plastic bag open and Lizzie held Eric’s hair back and out of his face.

After throwing up for a second time, it appeared that Eric was finally sobering up himself. While Malcolm tied up the soiled plastic bag to throw in the trash, Olivia urged Eric to drink some Lucozade while Lizzie carefully tied his hair with the scrunchie she grabbed from her room. While Eric was being taken care of by Olivia, Lizzie got up once again to help Malcolm clean up. There was a lot more of a mess than they were let on to believe, especially in the kitchen.

There was a point in the clean up when Lizzie was left alone in the kitchen to organize the remaining opened bags of snacks while Malcolm took the trash outside. Olivia left to go to her room to grab a clean shirt for Eric to change into. Ever since they brought him back from Barking, Olivia has been keeping his clothes in her room so that they didn’t stay in his car. So not only was she left alone in the kitchen, she was left alone in the common room...with Eric.

She once again felt like she was on a separate island miles away from Eric. Now that her head was close to cleared up, all she could think about was the stupid drinking game and the stuff she learned from it. She was still in disbelief over the things Eric did. Olivia said all of that was done in the past, but what did that even mean? Why did he do all of that in the first place?

She continued to lean against the kitchen island after she stowed the leftover snacks in the cabinets. While she was stuck in her uncertain thoughts, she watched Eric as he groaned and turned slowly to get comfortable. A couple times, he looked like he was about to throw up again, but then quieted and dug his head into the pillow he was resting on. Everything was a mess and she did not know what to believe.

Apparently his past consisted of sleeping with people way older than him and dating for money, sometimes for more than two months and possibly with someone of the same gender. And yet, Olivia had the nerve to tell her that everything he did in the past was essential. Nothing was making sense. How was getting paid to date someone and sleeping with people ten years older supposed to be essential???

“Do you mind giving me a hand?” Olivia asked when she returned. By now, Eric was going in and out of consciousness. He would get in a few minutes of shut eye before waking up groaning and needing to turn onto his side. Lizzie joined Olivia in the living room again. They worked as a team to take Eric’s work shirt off. Before they put him in the clean shirt, however, Lizzie rushed to the bathroom to grab a face towel to soak. He had sweated through his shirt the entire night. She returned and went to work cleaning him up. It was Olivia that held Eric up enough for Lizzie to pull the shirt over his head then get his arms through the sleeves. Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that the common room was just too cold and getting colder now that summer was over, they would have just let him sleep topless.

“Are you going to bed now?” Olivia asked later as she grabbed a water bottle from the refrigerator.

Lizzie shrugged her shoulders. “Do you think he’ll be okay by himself?”

It was Olivia’s turn to shrug. “I think we’re out of the woods for now. If anything, I think he’ll be okay enough to go to the bathroom later.” That wasn’t exactly assuring, but Olivia knew Eric the best out of everyone in the flat.

Speaking of which….“Olivia, can I ask you something?” Her flatmate looked down at her and listened closely. “What you said earlier...about the things he did in the past being essential? Did you mean that...what he admitted to tonight...he did it for that Howard guy?” The thought came to her while she was in the bathroom earlier soaking the face towel. She spent so long wondering how in the world exploiting someone the way Eric did could ever be valid. It wasn’t until she looked at the bathtub did she have an idea. From there she recalled everything Eric and Olivia told her since she went to Barking weeks ago. From that point on, things started to slowly make sense.

Olivia didn’t say anything, not verbally at least. After taking a long swig of her water, she only sighed and nodded her head. There was a sadness on her face that Lizzie only now realized showed whenever hers and Eric’s Barking years came up in conversation.

Whatever Eric did in the past, it wasn’t him. He had to do it for reasons that had to involve this Howard guy and the debt Eric mentioned on Tuesday. That was what Lizzie knew now.

“Hey you,” Lizzie greeted softly, turning away from the now closed double doors to look at Eric. He was awake again, groaning softly while adjusting his position on his couch. She half expected him to go back to sleep right after, but instead, upon hearing her voice he looked right at her. “How are you feeling?”

Lizzie ended up not retreating to her room for the night. Now that Eric was practically wide awake and aware that she was still around, she couldn’t get herself to leave him. What if he needed something and was still too weak to get it himself? Maybe Olivia was overestimating her best friend. For the time being, while he was still awake, Lizzie returned to his side for the first time since the dreadful ending of the stupid drinking game.

Eric was now laying on the couch with his head resting on her lap. The cat ears headband that was long ago abandoned after Eric fell earlier was now back on her head to keep her hair out of her face. They didn’t talk much and they especially did not talk about earlier. In fact, Lizzie wasn’t sure if Eric even remembered what happened earlier. If that was the case, it didn’t seem right to bring it up now while he was a bit miserable. For now, she was fine letting him rest on her lap while she ran her fingers gently through his hair and massaged his head.

“Did your mom also have wavy hair like yours?” she asked as she tied his hair back in the scrunchie. The question intended to start light conversation. Something simple that related a bit to what was happening right now. Lizzie had been playing with his hair and massaging his head for a while now and it had her thinking about what he said during the drinking game. He didn’t tell her much about his mom while they talked. All she really knew as of late was that she lived in Barking and while she raised Eric on her own, she had money problems the entire time. Since then, she just kind of assumed Eric didn’t have the best relationship with his mom.

Turns out it was more than just that. Lizzie’s fingers paused when Eric told her that his mom was actually dead. That was an explanation she did not expect. He never gave any indications that she wasn’t alive. Or, if he had in the past whenever she was briefly mentioned, he never made it obvious. Regardless, this explained so much.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said. “So...um, that’s why you’re paying off a debt to your old landlord?” She didn’t mean to ask questions like this in the state Eric was in, but this bit of news was making things more clear to her and she just wanted to make sure that she wasn’t making things up.

When Eric disclosed just how long he’s been paying off this debt, which is also how long it’s been since his mom passed away, Lizzie felt her heart break. How much money did he owe this Howard guy? She could not wrap her head around how his mom could have screwed him over this bad. To leave her son with a debt that he is going to spend the next five or six years struggling to repay. What kind of mother would do that to her son?

“I can’t even imagine what that must feel like, losing your mom so recently…” Lizzie admitted. She went back to combing her fingers through his hair again, just to give her something to do during the heaviness of this conversation. Especially as she added, “I lost my mom when I was three, so I don’t remember much of anything when it comes to her.... Anything that I do remember is just...vague memories that seem more like third person memories than real ones.” She paused to just look down at him. The way he looked up at her was heartbreaking. He just looked so apologetic about the entire situation right now. She didn’t even know why he apologized in the first place. She was the one that asked the questions that led the conversation this way in the first place.

“It’s okay,” she finally said after her long pause. “We’re okay. Everything is going to be okay.” Despite the darkness of the living room, Lizzie smiled down at Eric.

Lizzie didn’t get much sleep later that night. It took Eric another hour or so to go back to sleep after their talk. After he did go back to sleep, she stayed on the couch with his head still resting on her lap until about three or four and then she carefully slipped out from under him to take a nap on the other couch. Of course, like all naps, the short ones always felt like only minutes passed before Lizzie was woken up by her phone’s alarm. Shit, it’s Saturday. She had a meeting at her internship this morning.

Thank goodness she sobered up when she did last night. She was concerned she would wake up with a hangover after all she drank.

Even though she woke up with enough time to get ready for her meeting, Lizzie had other tasks that put her behind schedule. For instance, having been so busy taking care of Eric last night, she forgot to charge her phone so she needed to make sure it was charging while she got ready. She needed it to last her until she got back to the flat later. The next thing she failed to do yesterday was prep her work bag. All of her things from the week were still tucked away in her school bag while her report on her manuscript rested right on top of the manuscript on her desk. So that was another few minutes wasted getting ready. And then, there was the fact that she did not shower last night and considering the activities from Flat Night, she felt the need to wash her hair. She had a lot to do in such little time.

When she walked out of the bathroom, Eric was still fast asleep on his couch. This at least gave her some time to get her things packed up and ready to go as soon as she finished combing out then styling her hair. With one last look into the common room, she slipped into her bedroom to finish getting ready.

She returned to the common room with only twenty minutes left before she needed to be out of the flat to make it to her meeting on time. “Eric?” she called out, taking a seat on the edge of the couch beside the still sleeping Eric. When he didn’t stir or wake up, she reached a hand out to his arm and shook him gently. “Babe? Hey.” She tried shaking him again. This time, he stirred.

As he struggled to open his eyes, Lizzie leaned in to kiss him gently on his cheek. “Morning. Do you feel like shit? I wouldn’t blame you if you called out today,” she teased with a light giggle. “I’m gonna make you some oatmeal before I have to go, okay? Can you get up for me, please?” After taking his hair out of the scrunchie, she combed her fingers through his hair a couple times. Then she went to work urging him to sit up so that he could drink some water. When she did successfully get him sitting upright, she walked over to the kitchen to make him breakfast.

“Here you go,” Lizzie said, returning to the living room with a bowl of oatmeal in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. “Eat this so you can take some medicine.” When Eric took the bowl, she put the cup of coffee on the table then dug into her pocket to pull out the bottle of pain relief medicine she grabbed from the cabinet.

Lizzie sat with Eric for a few minutes while he struggled to get through his oatmeal. She would have stayed with him a little longer, but she glanced at the clock and saw that she really needed to go. “Babe?” Eric turned slowly to look at her. “I have to go to my meeting now. Will you be okay by yourself?” she asked him. “How about this? After you finish breakfast, take some medicine and then get more sleep in my bed. Okay? Don’t go back to sleep on the couch.” She reached up to push his hair out of his face. “I’ll come back as soon as I’m done with my meeting. ”

Before leaving the couch, Lizzie leaned in to Eric to kiss his cheek again. “If you need anything while I’m out, text me. But please get more rest. And don’t forget to drink water.” She gave him one more kiss on the cheek then left the couch to grab her things from her room. As she passed the double doors, she waved goodbye to him then walked down the hall toward the front door.

It did not take long after Lizzie left the flat before her own energy started draining. She sacrificed five minutes of her commute to pass by the cafe for a pick me up. Luckily, now that Lizzie was considered a morning regular, the morning staff immediately knew her order and had it ready for her by the time she paid. At least she only had to speed walk to the train station instead of running.

Through some unknown miracle or the soy latte earlier Lizzie survived her meeting. Outside the building of Little Hopper Publishings, she breathed a sigh of relief. Walking into her meeting earlier, she feared being assigned two manuscripts for the upcoming week. The last thing she wanted was to stress over not being able to read them both in time before her Disney trip.

During her walk to the train station, Lizzie pulled her phone out of the bottom of her bag. The phone did not charge as much as she would have liked while she was getting ready earlier that morning. To prevent the risk of losing battery life for the next three hours, she banned herself from social media and only used her phone for texts and calls. When she found her phone, there were only a couple text messages waiting for her. One of them was from Malcolm letting her know that she made his hangover magic juice and put it in the refrigerator. The other was from Ricki, informing her that she found Eric fast asleep on her bed. Okay, good. He actually followed her advice.

There was some activity in the flat when Lizzie walked through the front door. Aside from Ricki who has work today, everyone else in the flat had Saturday plans that were typically up in the air. The first noise she heard was the washing machine going in the laundry room. A quick glance into the laundry room didn’t tell her who was still home. It wasn’t until she passed the double doors did she see that Malcolm was still home...as well as Angel.

Shit...

Truthfully, Lizzie didn’t want to see Angel. After the stuff he did last night, she felt a bitterness against him that she didn’t think she could hide. He went out of his way to target Eric last night for things he had no control over. Angel had no right.

As much as she wanted to get Eric a cup of Malcolm’s hangover juice, Lizzie just could not make the sacrifice. So without a single word to the boys - they were currently invested in some episode or movie, she wasn’t sure - Lizzie turned away from the double doors to head into her room.

The light blocking curtains were still drawn, leaving the bedroom dark the moment Lizzie closed the door. She contemplated whether to keep the lights off or turn them on just in case Eric was still feeling a little hungover. In the end, she chose to turn on the lights. At least the bedroom lights were not as bright as the sun was if she were to pull away the curtains.

Just as Ricki mentioned, Eric was fast asleep under her comforter. A part of her didn’t want to wake him. He probably only slept for another couple hours or less after she left for her meeting. Maybe while she was away Malcolm took over nanny duties and gave him the magical hangover juice before he retreated to her room. So, hopefully, all this sleep he was getting meant that he was on the fast track to recovery. The fact that he was still in the flat meant he must have called out from work today.

Lizzie decided to let him sleep some more. The light didn’t phase him once, but that might be due to his face being practically buried deep into her comforter. It did a good job blocking out light as well. So while Eric slept, she left her work bag on her desk chair then rummaged through her drawer for some comfortable at home clothes to wear. Unless told otherwise, she did not have any intention of leaving the flat. And until Angel disappeared from the common room, she had no intention of leaving her room either.

After she finished dressing down into her at home clothes, Lizzie pulled her hair out of its usual ponytail and shook it out to let it fall down her back. She then carefully climbed into her bed beside Eric, bringing the comforter back over them as she snuggled up against his arm.

Just then a wide yawn escaped her. Now that her head was resting against her own pillow, she could feel her energy level drain to zero. The last thing she remembered was gazing at her sleeping Eric until she felt herself fading. A nap sounded pretty good right about now and it wasn’t like she needed to be awake at the moment when the person that needed her the most didn’t exactly need her yet. ​

​

 

[JINFINITE]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ERIC JAMES OLIVER ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 102918-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — lizzie
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---TRULY MADLY DEEPLY I AM -------- FOOLISHLY COMPLETELY FALLING -------- AND SOMEHOW YOU KICKED ALL MY WALLS IN

Fear. Hope. Dread. Acceptance. These were the four stages Eric experienced in the moment after he processed that Lizzie had mentioned work. First came a sense of panic knowing that he was going to be late. After all it wasn’t like he could just hop in his car and speed off. Even though he took the tube these days it was still a decent commute, there was no way he could make it on his own. But then, maybe Olivia would drive him? Maybe if he got up now and was able to get ready quickly enough then she could drop him off and he would only risk being a few minutes late at the most. But if she couldn’t drive him and if he couldn’t get there on his own then did that mean he would have to miss a day of work? He couldn’t afford to miss a day—literally. And even if he did skip, it felt like he had just gotten back to work after being out for close to a month. Would they fire him now? After all he’d been through, was this going to be the final straw? He’d have to find a new job...but maybe that was okay. Maybe he just didn’t care enough anymore to put in the effort to fix this. He was going to have to miss work and suffer the consequences for it when he was finished with his current suffering.

All that in just a single moment. But by the end of that emotional whirlwind of a moment, Eric just felt like death. This was possibly even worse than when he’d been sick. Although he’d have to give a proper review later once he had recovered—right now he couldn’t focus on anything beyond how awful he felt and if asked he would swear it was the worst he’d ever felt.

As Lizzie’s hand went through his hair he could feel himself on the verge of slipping back into unconsciousness. There was a weightless feeling that came with the darkness as he let his heavy eyes shut and he longed so badly to return to that realm of nothingness.
“Ugh noooo...” his voice was scratchy and cracked as Lizzie tried to get him up. Eric weakly protested as best he could, which wasn’t much given his current state, but in the end she got him sitting upright. The second he was seated all the blood rushed to his head and Eric’s hand slowly moved to press at his throbbing temple while he let his eyes shut again.

When he managed to look up he first took note that he didn’t recognize the shirt he wore—or rather, he didn’t remember putting it on. It was definitely his, but he really had no recollection of changing into it. Or of going to bed on the couch for that matter...actually no wait. He sort of could make out a distant memory of him and Lizzie on the couch together? He really couldn’t think straight right now though and it took an agonizing amount of effort for him to do just about anything. As hungry as his empty stomach was he still could barely touch his oatmeal. Slow and steady though, he’d get there. After another sip of water he took a break to let his stomach settle and instead tried to will away his brain fog by focusing his attention on Lizzie’s directions and then her touch. That was really all he wanted; her touch. He leaned into her hand much like a cat would and just barely managed to find his voice in time to bid her farewell and to have a good day.

“A good day”? Really Eric? She just told you she’d be back after her meeting. A few hours tops. But it was the sentiment behind his words that were the point. As soon as she had left he could feel her absence in the room. There was nothing now to distract him from himself and he quickly gave in to his headache and lay back down, ”Eric?”
Had he fallen back asleep? It couldn’t have been for long, but he moaned in protest to being woken, ”C’mon, uppp you go.”
It was Olivia now, coming in to finish what Lizzie had started, though she was noticeably less gentle than his love had been. His entire body ached as she pulled him up from his spot on the couch. Then once he was sitting again Eric closed his eyes to relieve the building pressure as he leaned forward, elbows to his knees with his head held in his hands, ”Are you going to be sick again?”

Again? When had he thrown up?

But Eric slowly shook his head no. Olivia was sitting on the edge of the coffee table now so she was directly across from him, ”Good, then here,” she nudged his leg with her foot to get his attention and when she succeeded she held out a pain tablet and water bottle, ”You didn’t take it yet, right?”
No, he hadn’t. But when he hesitated to reach out for it she slowly lowered her hand seeing the discomfort cross his face, ”Eric?”
There was a moment's pause before she set down everything she held, ”Ohh no you don’t—“

Olivia pulled him to his feet while his hand went to his mouth as he fought his gag reflex. Last night he had been far too gone for this, but Olivia was determined to get him into the bathroom now that he was conscious. He felt like shit, sure, but he was coherent and capable of walking despite his body screaming in protest.

”Better?” Olivia sat on the edge of the tub now. It had been several minutes of silence since last flushing the toilet and it seemed they were in the clear, she just hoped they really were because she needed to leave soon. Well Eric would be okay even if he spent the rest of the morning in the bathroom, but Olivia would just feel better leaving knowing that he wasn’t stuck in here, ”I’m gonna call in for you, yeah? Where’s your iPod?”
His poor voice was still shot, even more so now that his raw throat was exposed to stomach acid, ”Uhm, my jacket...?” Maybe? That was at least where he last remembered it but just about everything from last night was this giant dark fuzzy blur in his mind that was only hurting more and more the harder he tried to think about it, ”Alright, well wash up, yeah? I’ll be around a little longer if you need something but you should go try and eat.”

Eric didn’t have the energy to shower just yet, but he did rinse out his mouth several times and splashed some water on his face before returning to the common room. And thereeee was the oatmeal Lizzie had so caringly made for him, still sitting on the coffee table just waiting for his return. Honestly he was really hungry but there was that fear in the back of his head now that he’d just throw it back up. Luckily for Eric, that didn’t seem to be the case. He took the medicine and managed through almost all of the oatmeal before Olivia had to go, leaving him a quick kiss to his forehead and a rather stern reminder to drink water.

He felt as though he had been awake for several hours already but it was still too early for anyone else to be up so the flat was back to being super quiet once the door shut behind his best friend. Unlike the first time he’d been left alone though, Eric was feeling a little better now. Well, that was a bit of a stretch, but it was sort of true. True enough at least for Eric to drag himself from his couch, into the hall and then open the door to Lizzie’s room.

Ricki was still asleep and he glanced across the room at her from his position in the doorway. He could very well have gone to Olivia’s bed, he would neither disturb anyone nor be disturbed in there. But Lizzie had told him to sleep in her bed, so here he was doing his best to follow her instructions. Eric you forgot to bring the water with you. Everything hurt, he was unimaginably tired, and even though he could feel the painkiller beginning to kick in his headache was still very much present and he sort of felt like he was trapped in a cloud of confusion. He hadn’t been able to make heads or tails of much anything from last night, but maybe it would start coming back to him after he slept? Slept some more that is. Even though he’d basically done nothing but sleep, he was still very much exhausted and Lizzie’s bed was sort of the only thing he could concentrate on.

So much so that Eric was unable to even remove his pants to be more comfortable. He had worn them all yesterday, and slept in them out on the couch, but it looked like he would sleep in them one last time. Yes he might regret this a little later but it was just one physical feat he could not accomplish just yet. He was barely on his feet as it was, he was not about to spend the last of his strength fighting his pants. That was a battle for another day, err, hour.

Climbing into Lizzie’s bed had to be the single best decision he’d made in a long time. Or at least since Tuesday when he’d been here with her...the only difference now was that he was alone. Or not alone as a snore from across the room reminded him. Maybe he should have taken Olivia’s bed instead. But no, the second his head hit Lizzie’s pillow and he took in her familiar scent he knew that he had made the right choice. He was out like a light in seconds and quickly entered into a deep, deep sleep. The kind one enters after sheer exhaustion or when they finally feel safe enough to allow complete vulnerability. Hungover, tired, sore, hungover, possibly still a little buzzed, in pain, did we mention hungover yet? Sleeping on the couch was nothing compared to the comfort that came from a real bed—Lizzie’s bed. The only thing that would have made this better would be if Lizzie herself were here.

He could not say for sure how long he slept seeing as how he hadn’t even been aware of what time it was when he fell asleep. But when Eric’s eyes did slowly peek open there was a sort of serene silence to the room. Maybe he had died in his sleep and gone to heaven—no, if this were heaven he’d be with Lizzie. Eric tried to turn over to go back to sleep but as he did he encountered something, or rather someone that hadn’t been there before, Lizzie! Maybe this truly was heaven after all. He would have loved to just lay there and watch her sleep but when it came to Lizzie, Eric really just could not keep his hands to himself. So with absolutely no regard as to whether this would wake her or not, Eric’s arms naturally slipped around to pull her close. If smelling her pillow earlier had put him at ease, it had been nothing compared to having the real thing with him now. Yes, Lizzie was most definitely his drug of choice and he was so beyond addicted. Breathing her in was like a cleanse after having been haunted all last night and into the morning by the smell of alcohol that clung to him.

Lizzie didn’t seem to have entered the same comatose level of sleep that Eric had as she woke now from his movements, ” ‘ello love,” was he still drunk? God he hoped not. Was he hopelessly in love with the most perfect girl in the universe? Yes. How on Earth would he survive without her while she was away at Disneyland—World—whatever?! She asked how he was feeling which just got a groan response while his eyes shut as all the regret set in, ”—never drinking again…” Right, that’s what they all say Eric.

He coughed briefly, trying to clear his scratchy throat and speed up the groggy waking up process before going on to mention how he’d thrown up after she left that morning, “Can I get you anything?” His eyes reopened to look at her, a tired smile growing in the corner of his lips as he reached up to hold her face with one hand, his thumb brushing against her cheek. Could she get him anything? Water would be great honestly. Maybe another painkiller? It was a little too early to tell if this was still his headache or just him waking up severely dehydrated. Maybe it was both?
”Just you…?” Honestly part of him just wanted to lean over and shower her with a thousand kisses. When it came to Lizzie, Eric had little to no control over his body; it was just the two of them here, nothing to stop them—except it seemed Eric’s body was still very much in control over him as his head sunk even further into the pillow if that was even possible. While he was finally awake, it was fairly obvious he still lacked the strength to do much more than cuddle in bed, but that would return in good time. He’d already made great strides since his time back on the couch with Lizzie—hold up. Staring at her now was clearing some haze from his memory in such a way that he hadn’t felt earlier that morning. Maybe he could finally make some sense of what happened. Was the uncertainty showing on his face? Probably, but Eric bravely pressed on, ”Honestly, how fucked was I last night?” Oh good, he’d found the rest of his voice; his accent shining through especially strong in his still half asleep state. Although, was it still considered an accent when he was the local here and Lizzie was the “foreigner”?

When she asked, Eric confirmed that he couldn’t remember much of anything. Scratch that, he didn’t remember a single thing. Great. So that must mean that he had been blackout drunk then. Completely shitfaced. Lovely.
”Did you stay up on the sofa with me?” He really just needed to clarify whether his one fuzzy, disorienting, oddly dejavu inducing memory of being absolutely miserable on the couch with Lizzie had been a dream or not. Because he had definitely been dreaming about Lizzie too and so he was all sorts of lost in his head.

Eric would have prefered to stay here in bed with Lizzie for the rest of his life but it didn’t take long for his pain to reach the point of being unignorable. He needed help: water and painkillers….and food. How long had it been since he’d eaten? That was when Lizzie was leaving for work so it had to have been well before 8am and it must be past noon by now, not to mention the oatmeal wasn’t much compared to what he was recovering from, ”Nhh…” as Eric woke from having dozed off for a bit he blinked over to see Lizzie still beside him though seemingly preoccupied by her phone while he’d slept, ”Okay, I’m awake…” was he though? ”Are you hungry?” Surely he wasn’t the only one starving...and he wasn’t, Lizzie was quick to agree. She climbed out of bed first, turning back to face him while he regretted having said anything now that it meant leaving the warm comfortable nest they’d created amidst all their cuddles. Eric took her hand when she extended it to help him up even though they were both well aware there was little she could do to pull him up on her own but her touch alone did the trick and sent an electric pulse through his body that pushed him to sit up and slide his legs off the edge of the bed. Lizzie had almost succeeded in getting him out of bed but Eric took advantage of the fact that he still held her hand and instead pulled her close. He knew he’d feel better once he got up and ate, but he also felt better just being here with her. Every time her fingers ran through his hair or caressed his skin it was like her aura alone was pushing all the toxins from his system. Did they really need to get up now? Yes, yes they did.

It was Lizzie who now suggested they go down to the cafe to eat, “get out of the flat for a bit”. Eric didn’t ask why they couldn’t stay here, he was perfectly happy going anywhere and doing anything with her. He did just have one little setback to that plan though, ”I should shower first then…” She agreed, a shower was definitely a good idea considering all he’d been through in the past twenty-four hours, but separating himself from her was the hardest thing he’d had to do since she first woke him up that morning.

Shower, medicine, cafe. Seemed simple enough but leave it to Eric to overcomplicate things. See it would have been smart on his part to have grabbed clean clothes before stepping into the shower. But blame the hangover he’d been fighting all day that left him now post shower with two options. Either put yesterday’s clothes back on despite how long he’d been wearing them, his pants in particular. Or walk out in his towel and go fetch clean clothes from Olivia’s room. Where was the harm in that? Eric wasn’t shy, and without any memory of last night’s drama he had no reason to hide; it wasn’t like anyone in the flat hadn’t seen him shirtless before.

He shivered when he stepped out of the bathroom with just his towel around his waist. The bathroom had been all steamy and warm and the drop in temperature in the hall was shocking to his tired body. Pressing onwards though, in order to reach Olivia’s room at the opposite end of the hall he first had to fight the urge to slip back into Lizzie’s room where her bed called his name and then pass by the open double doors of the common room. As he passed by said doors he was greeted by a particularly flamboyant voice, ”Ohh~? Look who’s back from the dead!”

Despite his whole little spiel about not being self conscious, Eric’s arms subconsciously moved to cross over his chest as he paused in front of the doors now to see Angel smiling back at him from the couch. If Eric’s head wasn’t still lightweight pounding then he maybe would have stopped to chat but instead he briefly waved back and continued on the last leg of his journey to get clean clothes. As he turned away he could hear Malcolm from further back in the kitchen, ”Is Eric up!?”

Walking into Olivia’s room wasn’t exactly warmer but at least he had reached his destination. As he moved over to his pile of clothes he quickly noticed his dress shirt discarded on the floor alongside his jacket. His iPod appeared to be plugged into the wall and charging with his wallet and...were those his keys? Eric’s eyes bounced back to his shirt though as he went through a sort of out of body experience. That was the shirt he’d worn last night and while he was aware by now that he’d blacked out and they’d taken care of him all night, it was still eerie to see it sitting there without the memory of taking it off. This black hole gap in his memory was such a trippy feeling— pushing those thoughts aside, Eric went about picking out new clothes so he could go reunite with Lizzie.

”Eric?” There was Malcolm’s voice again when he had stepped back out into the hall and shut Olivia’s door behind him. The flat’s in house chef was standing in the double doorway now with a worried expression on his face. After having been witness to all of last night he had gone to bed while Eric was still in his unconscious phase with Lizzie playing nurse. Then Eric hadn’t been on the couch when he woke up, this was the first Malcolm had seen of Eric since his near death experience last night. Eric of course was still juggling with not remembering it so couldn’t exactly relate to Malcolm’s sympathetic look but he still appreciated the concern.

Malcolm looked about to say one thing but then changed his mind at the last second upon seeing that Eric was fully dressed in his jacket and boots on his feet, ”Are you going out?”
”Lizzie and I were going to go eat? “ Malcolm was quick to offer that he could cook but Eric turned him down politely while his hand went up to press on his temple— Malcolm picked up on the action real quick and after asking Eric to wait a moment, disappeared back into the common room and on towards the kitchen.

Eric went now to take his place in the double doorway, Angel seemed to be heavily focused on his phone but the sound of a door shutting behind him had Eric turning to see Lizzie exiting her room and dressed to leave. When she was close enough he wrapped his arm around her shoulders while hers slipped around his waist, ”Here,” Malcolm had returned now and passed over a tumbler of hangover elixir. It wasn’t exactly as fresh now compared to if he’d been awake to drink it that morning, but Malcolm mentioned he had made sure to save some for him knowing he’d need it, ”Are you sure I can’t fix you two something to eat?” They were sure; well, Lizzie was and Eric would agree with anything she said. They only stayed long enough to get more painkillers for Eric before leaving the flat hand in hand with Eric’s other hand clutching the magical wonder potion Malcolm had so lovingly concocted for him.

Besides the bleak gray color covering London’s skies, the only thing to dampen their time together now was Eric’s announcement that he needed to leave later. He was still going to attend his rehearsal meeting. Did he feel up to it? No, not really if he was to be honest. But he needed to go, and it’s not like he would be on his feet for hours on end like he would have been at work. It would just be a lot of sitting around and talking mostly, so he would be fine. Especially now that he had real food in his stomach and downed plenty of fluids. But after rehearsal he was back in the flat and in Lizzie’s arms for the rest of the night. The headache had been beaten, his body didn’t hurt either, he was just tired now but thankfully Sunday morning he got to sleep in some before work pulled him away for the rest of the night— literally...it was basically 1am by the time he got back. He got to spend Monday morning with her as well, or at least had tea and a light breakfast together before it was Lizzie’s turn to leave. She had a full day ahead of her while Monday was generally a day of rest for Eric. He had nothing to do today until his rehearsal and then his overnight shift would begin just before midnight. This would have normally meant that this morning would be the last they saw of each other until around 4pm Tuesday afternoon but not today, ”See you tomorrow love,” but today Eric had a little something up his sleeve.

He first messaged the director of their current winter production to explain that he wouldn’t be coming in tonight, of course this was only after asking if it was okay. If they desperately needed him there then he would come in. He didn’t have to miss rehearsal. The troupe came first, they had a lot to do in preparation for the show, December would be here before they knew it. So it was fine, he could still come in— yes Eric and the other director went in circles each telling the other that it was fine. “Go ahead, take the day.” “Are you sure? No I should come in.” But in the end Eric accepted his evening off and he was absolutely thrilled knowing he’d be here to greet Lizzie when she got home. She was always the one to see him after a long day, and had taken care of him all weekend, now it was his turn to return the favor. His feelings had him in a bit of a tizzy to the point that a new melody popped into his head and he ended up playing with chords for a couple hours trying to bring this emotion to life. Try as he might though, not a single lyric seemed to fit. It was as though he was writing two entirely different songs. He was so completely out of sync with himself and maybe it had to do with his excitement knowing he was going to surprise Lizzie later, but you would think that with so much emotion the song would come easily to him. No, he was struggling real hard and the tune he had wasn’t meshing with the words he was coming up with.

Honestly the day dragged for Eric. The hours weren’t going quick enough and he was just sitting on his hands until around 3:30 when he left the flat for the cafe. As much as he would have loved a coffee right now, he walked out with only a single chocolate croissant in hand and hurried back to set up in the kitchen to begin cooking. It really wasn’t gonna be much. It was outside Eric’s budget to order takeout and he was sort of limited to whatever he could find in the cupboards but it would just be nice to come home to a hot meal after a long day and the less than pleasant weather London had been throwing at them all weekend. He was pretty good at whipping up something out of nothing after feeding himself and his mother for years, so by the time 4:30 rolled around everything was done and ready to go as soon as Lizzie walked through the door.

Some time passed, any minute now. Maybe he should serve it out. He set the table for two and continued to wait.

And wait…

And wait…

Eventually it reached a point that Eric cleared the food into the fridge to reheat later, the still bagged croissant as well just to keep it fresh. She could heat up the croissant too, weren’t they better warm anyways? Eric alternated between watching whatever was on TV and going to the window to peek outside and see if Lizzie was approaching.

Was she okay? Had something happened? Maybe he should text her— or call her? But he didn’t want to ruin the surprise so maybe just something generic. Just to make sure she was okay.

hey love xxx​

No response. Eric was really starting to worry by now. His life had finally started to settle back down to “normal” after the whole Barking incident and all the fallout from it— was it all just coming back to get him now? Did Howard have something to do with Lizzie’s sudden disappearance? He had relocated to sitting outside on the front step now, a lit cigarette to fight the building stress and keep him company while he stared down the street in the direction of the Boundary station just waiting to see Lizzie’s ponytail any minute now.

He definitely had not been expecting a car to pull up in front of the flat but maybe one of the boys had taken an Uber and was returning home now? Eric’s eyes landed curiously on the vehicle that was just stopped in the road, until that ponytail finally appeared as she got out of said car. What was Lizzie doing in an Uber? And it was so late now, she should have been back hours ago. Stomping out what was left of his cigarette Eric stood to his full height as he watched her say bye to her driver; she hadn’t noticed him yet.

Eric wasn’t dumb, he quickly deduced that this wasn’t an Uber driver and she personally knew the man behind the wheel. In fact, when the man moved and Eric got a clearer view of his face he recognized him as that guy Lizzie had been talking to outside her school the last time he had tried to surprise her. A fire had been lit inside now, the jealous waters reaching a simmer while he waited for Lizzie to finally turn around and see him. Here he’d been worried for her and she was with this...guy?? No, calm down Eric. Maybe something really had happened to keep her so late and this guy was just helping her get back. He was trying so hard to give them the benefit of the doubt here. It wasn’t exactly that he thought she was with this other guy. No he knew she was his. Faithful and true. In for all of it. What Eric was jealous of was that he wasn’t this guy. Why couldn’t he be the one to drive her home from class? Wouldn’t Lizzie’s life be so much simpler if she had a “normal” relationship? One that wasn’t a constant shroud of secrets. One that someone like this guy could give her. Eric suddenly felt so utterly useless and pathetic standing there in his hoodie when Lizzie turned to see him and her own concerned expression mirrored his.

Of course she would be worried, he wasn’t supposed to be home right now. But this was not how he had thought this would pan out. It was hard to suddenly put on a joyous smile and play his part in this surprise when he had just spent the past couple hours worrying for her safety and then now getting a hard taste of reality; of what Lizzie’s reality should have and would have been had he not been in the picture. ”Are you alright? Where were you? I thought your class ended at 4?”
Her own questions were similar, yes he was supposed to be at rehearsal but Eric found his eyes flickering back to watch the car behind her as it drove off finally. Lizzie’s touch pulled him back to Earth and he refocused on her though didn’t move to embrace her in the huge bear hug of feels he’d been wrestling with all day. All his built up excitement had dissipated now and he freed his arm from her to push back his hair. He didn’t want to be here right now. He wished he had just waited inside so he wouldn’t have witnessed the stranger in the car, ”Who was that?” If he had stayed inside then he would have just been worried and then felt relief to see her walk in, their reunion wouldn’t have been tainted by this dark jealousy that had filled him.

Eric still hadn’t explained what he was doing home. Did he even want to share the surprise with her now? He really wasn’t in the mood. But he couldn’t lie to her; he wouldn’t lie to her. So after a sigh to try and get this weird festering internal anger under control he finally spoke up, ”I was waiting for you,” there was heavy pause before he glanced away finally, he couldn’t talk to her head on like this, ”I wanted to surprise you— I skipped rehearsal for you. I wanted to...we— you— “ he didn’t know what he was trying to say, maybe he should just stop, ”Whatever it’s fine…”​

 

[feelsHASkilig]

(❈)----▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀----ELIZABETH DARCY aka LIZZIE ⋮⋮
------ ❖ DATE — 102918-----------❖ LOCATION — the flat-----------❖ COMPANY — eric
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
---WHY'D YOU HAVE TO BE SO CUTE -------- IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE YOU -------- WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH

Lizzie decided that she would not disclose to Eric all that happened during Flat Night unless he asked specifically for the details. This decision was in large part to him being satisfied with simply finding out that he had gotten piss drunk that night. There was also the fact that despite the personal attack from Angel the two managed to keep things civil while in the same room. The last thing she wanted to do was to have him find out all of the hard truths that came to light during the drinking game. But at the same time, Lizzie debated over whether or not she should tell Eric all that she learned. She considered the possibility that maybe it was best for him to know instead of finding out from someone else.

In the end, Lizzie spent the rest of the weekend going over this debate in some vicious cycle with no end. Come Monday morning she still did not tell him exactly what she knew from Friday night. Maybe by Tuesday she will have the courage to tell him while they had the flat to themselves. That was exactly what happened last Tuesday when they were alone together in her room and they discussed his debt and its reason for him taking the second shift. It was likely the lack of privacy last weekend that contributed to her uncertainty.

“Lizzie?” Anna said as she and Lizzie gathered their things at the end of class. “Do you have any plans tonight?”

Lizzie looked up after locking her iPad and tucking her bluetooth keyboard into the case. Admittedly, she had to think for a moment on that question. Today was Monday. Eric had rehearsals and would not be in the flat by the time she got home. And after rehearsals, he had to go straight to his overnight shift at the hotel.

Why did all of this matter to Lizzie? Because she was unbearably lovesick over Eric Oliver and anytime she was able to spend time with him she wanted to take. But Monday did not give her that opportunity. She needed to remind herself of that when she finally told Anna that no, she did not have any plans tonight outside of studying and reading for work.

This delighted Anna some. “Great! Would you like to come over tonight? Andrew and I wanted to have some friends over for dinner.” After their engagement last week, Anna and Andrew have been working on getting him moved into Anna’s flat. According to Anna, nothing was exactly official yet as he still had a couple months left on his lease, but if they gradually moved most of Andrew’s stuff into her flat things would run more smoothly when it was official. Lizzie found herself relating slightly to that sentiment. Between Olivia’s efforts and her own influence, they were basically preparing Eric to move into their flat. Any day now he would finally agree.

For the first time since Lizzie got to know her school friends, Andrew was not waiting for Anna outside their classroom after class was over. Lizzie was quick to make a tease out of it, comparing Andrew to a loyal dog patiently waiting for his human to come home. This got a giggle out of Anna. There was obviously some truth to it. But, really, the reason why Andrew wasn’t outside waiting for Anna was because he was off running errands for dinner tonight. Apparently they were going to be cooking. Lizzie wasn’t even aware until now that either of them actually knew how to cook.

It always amazed Lizzie how close Anna lived to school. She could either walk to and from school or take a quick train ride. When she was trying to find a place to stay for her year long program, she nearly cried over how expensive it was to rent a flat in the city. Even now, she technically lived outside the city and the only reason she got lucky with the flat in Boundary was because she was going to be living with other people. Lizzie was always curious how Anna was able to afford living on her own in the city, but considering they only knew each other for a few months, she was still too shy to ask. She knew that Anna had a job, but was her earnings enough? And she thought living in LA was difficult without help.

When they arrived at Anna’s flat, there were already sounds coming from inside; mostly in the kitchen. Andrew was quick to poke his head out into the hallway to see who just arrived. “Oh, hey!” he greeted with that wide grin Lizzie now associated with him. “You’re a little early, but since you’re here I do need a couple things from the shop?” And just like that, after dropping their school things off in the living room area, Lizzie watched as Anna jotted down a shopping list Andrew was calling out then followed behind her friend back out the flat. It was a good thing the weather today only looked like it was just threatening to rain. None had fallen...yet. Maybe?

“So, are Eddie and Sophie coming too?” Lizzie asked as they strolled down another aisle to check off another item on Andrew’s shopping list.

Anna nodded. “Andrew has Eddie on drink duty since we don’t really have much in terms of entertaining guests. As for Sophie, well, you know how she is.” Lizzie nodded. She always considered the possibility that Sophie and Angel would get along if they ever met in person.

By the time they returned to the flat carrying handfuls of bags from the shop, another male voice greeted them. Eddie sat at the dining table with a glass in his hand. Although he greeted both of them, Lizzie noticed as she glanced up from her task that he was looking right at her. But upon that realization, Eddie quickly looked away to focus on whatever Andrew was doing.

Dinner was ready to serve around half passed five. The four of them just sat down to dig in when they heard a knock on the door. Sophie finally arrived. But at least she came with wine as a form of apology for being late. As everyone took their turn filling their plates with food, Lizzie pulled out her phone with the intention of messaging Eric. But then her gaze caught the time. He had to be out of the flat by now on his way to the theater. He probably would not see her text until he arrived at the hotel. Maybe she’ll just message him later when she is certain his iPod is connected to wifi. After a quick browse at their messages earlier, she locked her phone and slipped it into her bag for the time being.

After dinner, Lizzie and the others moved to Anna’s living room area for a glass of Sophie’s wine and a nice session of catch up. With the buzz and excitement of Anna and Andrew’s engagement still lightening the atmosphere among their group, it was easy to just relax and catch up. Other than hearing more about the engagement - which honestly wasn’t much considering it hasn’t even been a week since the proposal - her friends were more interested in her. Outside of school, they have not seen her around. Lizzie was well aware of this. She knew that her conscious decision to choose Eric over spending time with her friends meant they hardly saw her outside of a classroom setting. What she wasn’t prepared for was actually telling them what she was up to during basically all of October. Just like with JKL, she was not comfortable telling them about things with Eric starting from that trip to Barking. It was not her business to tell.

That, however, did not mean they weren’t curious about Eric still. Well, it was more Anna and Andrew that were curious. As soon as Eric was mentioned, Sophie appeared to check out of the conversation to focus on whatever seemed more interesting on her phone. As for Eddie, he grew strangely quiet; once again unable to look at her directly. Oh well, if the happy couple wanted to hear about the progress of her own happy developing relationship, why not give it to them. That was fair game to discuss. After all, she was always very happy to share how happy she was with Eric with the rest of her world whenever she got the chance.

Before Lizzie knew it, time had flown by and it was getting late. It was now evening outside Anna’s apartment and Lizzie still needed to walk to the train station to get home. The unfortunate situation with this predicament was that no one in the group seemed at all concerned about the time. Then again, most of them did not live half an hour away by train. She really needed to be a mature adult and know when it was time to call it quits on the fun.

Before she grabbed her things to leave, Lizzie scooped her phone out of her bag. Much to her surprise, a text message was waiting for her from Eric. It was odd though, wasn’t he supposed to be in the middle of rehearsals?

Hey babe! How are rehearsals going?​

Hopefully she caught him during a time that he was connected to wifi. Was there even wifi accessible to him in the theater?

“Lizzie?” She looked up after grabbing her things to find Eddie now getting up from his place in the living room to approach her. “Let me give you a ride home.”

Despite the fact that Eddie made this very offer twice already, Lizzie still felt a bit embarrassed over it. “Oh, no, it’s okay, Eddie!” she assured him as she shouldered her backpack. “I can always just take an Uber.”

“So,” Eddie started slowly, “you’d rather pay to get into a car with a complete stranger than accept a free ride from a friend?” Okay...he honestly did have a good point there. But still, Lizzie commented - like the other two times - that she didn’t want to impose. Wasn’t his place in the opposite direction of her flat? But, like the other two times, Eddie simply insisted that he wanted to give her a ride. It was the safest option after all at this hour.

Her usual half hour commute by train was reduced to almost ten minutes by car. As Eddie pulled up in front of the flat, Lizzie noticed that almost every spot on the block was now taken. So either both Olivia and Malcolm were both home or Malcolm did not drive into the city today for work. She took a peek out the passenger window to see that two of three bedroom lights were on: Olivia’s room and her room. So Ricki was home already too.

“Thanks for the ride, Eddie. You’re a lifesaver as always,” Lizzie said with a smile. She then unbuckled her seatbelt to get out of the car. As she did this, she heard the driver door open as well and saw that Eddie was now getting out. When he opened the back door directly behind him, she rushed around the car to meet him on his side. He was already holding her things for her. She offered him another thanks for being such a gentleman. Once she shouldered her backpack, she looked up once more toward Eddie just in time to notice he was suddenly much closer to her. The hug was unexpected, to be honest. Sure, she hugged Eddie plenty of times before, but this hug felt kind of abrupt and overall awkward. By the time she could reciprocate the gesture, she managed to loosely wrap an arm around him before he let go.

Lizzie stood there feeling kind of confused by what just happened, watching Eddie quickly climb into his car to leave. He didn’t even say goodbye, just offered her a wave before starting up the car. She waved back before turning around toward the flat. What a weird end of her day.

Or, at least she thought this was going to be the end of her day.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” He seemed to not have heard her. If Eddie’s hug earlier left her confused, seeing Eric in front of the flat when she was fairly certain he was supposed to be at rehearsals left her mind completely unable to process anything in front of her. Seriously, what was he doing here? It was Monday, right?

Eric didn’t answer her initial questions, instead going into his own round of questions regarding her whereabouts. Lizzie blinked a couple times. She was finding it impossible to keep up with him right now. It was likely because she was still processing that he was here, standing at the front door of the flat instead of in the city in the middle of rehearsals.

Behind her, she heard a car drive off. It was probably Eddie. “I…” she started, giving her mind a moment to finally catch up. “I had a dinner thing with...with friends...after class. I thought you were going to be at rehearsals?” Eric once again did not confirm nor deny anything regarding rehearsals. She walked over to him now. Even from a distance, she could tell that he had been standing outside for a while. He must be freezing. Maybe that was the reason he still hadn’t responded to her text before she left Anna’s earlier.

“Have you been out here long?” she asked, concerned. She reached out to him, placing a comforting hand on his arm. It occurred to her that she still had not greeted him. However, those thoughts flew right to the back of her mind as she watched almost in slow motion as he shrugged his arm away from her touch. Lizzie could feel her expression go from concerned to almost blank. What. Just. Happened? She blinked again, then looked up at him. Why did she feel like a wall was being put up between them? She didn’t like this and she could not for the life of her understand why it was even happening in the first place.

“Who was that?” Eric asked instead of answering her question first. Who was who?

“Um…” Lizzie turned back toward the street as if to find Eddie still there in his car. He was most likely long gone now. “He—That was a friend from school. He wanted to give me a ride so I wouldn’t have to take the train or pay for an Uber.” She focused on Eric again. “Babe, I—What are you doing here? Did rehearsals get cancelled? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Finally, her questions were answered. Almost immediately, the confusion and worry from earlier disappeared and she was left feeling completely guilty. He skipped rehearsals to surprise her? That must mean...he waited for her for over two hours.

“Eric, I—” “Whatever it’s fine…” Lizzie could feel her apology lodge deep in her throat. Not only that, but the tone of his voice felt like a punch to the chest. He has never used that tone with her before. “Eric…” By then, he fully turned away from her to go back inside. “Eric!”

“Eric, wait!” Lizzie called out after him, locking the front door behind her. He was already turning right into the common room by the time she left the door. As she followed him, she debated whether or not she needed to close the double doors. Unlike many of their other talks, they were not alone in the flat. Not even her bedroom was available for them to talk. In the end, as she passed her closed bedroom door, Lizzie decided against closing the double doors. This was all a huge misunderstanding after all. Just like last Tuesday, this could be resolved with calm, cool words. They could be adults about this. But...it was just...Eric has never walked away from her like that before….

“Eric,” she called out again, dropping her things at the edge of the couch. She then went over to sit with him on his couch. “Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your surprise.” He still wasn’t looking at her. Why wasn’t he looking at her? “Please, I just—Eric, I didn’t know. I honestly believed that I wasn’t going to see you ‘til tomorrow. And—I just—My friend invited me over for dinner so I said yes. I didn’t think your iPod would be connected to wifi during the time for me to tell you.”

He still wasn’t looking at her. The longer Eric avoided her constant gaze the more she felt like she was talking to a brick wall. She hated this feeling the most right now. It was the same feeling from last Friday during the end of Never Have I Ever. Or, no...this was way worse. On Friday, it was as if she was miles away from him on a completely different island. Now, he was right in front of her but it felt as if nothing she was saying was getting through to him.

“Eric, please…” Lizzie tried again in her efforts to tear down the growing wall. She reached for him again, placing her hand on his left thigh. “Can you just talk to me?” She really just needed for him to look at her. “Don’t dismiss this if it’s upsetting you….”

Not only did Eric still refuse to look at her, but he once again tried to dismiss the situation. He could claim that he was fine all he wanted, but Lizzie wasn’t born yesterday. She has been through her fair share of relationships to pick up on the vibe when something wasn’t “fine.”

Lizzie sighed, frustrated that this was not going the way she wished it to go. Taking her hand off him now, she adjusted her position on the couch to face him. If he wasn’t going to build up the courage to look at her, she would look right at him. “No, it’s not fine!” she complained. Did she intend for the volume of her voice to go up when she spoke? Not really. But his overall dismissive behavior right now was really starting to boil up her frustration inside. Why couldn’t he, for once, just talk to her straight when it was the right time?

“Eric, please!” Lizzie got up from the couch now. She knew at that moment that this would not be resolved the way she hoped when she first walked through those double doors. With another sigh, she approached the double doors and closed them shut. It was the best she could do to prevent whatever words or volumes that were about to come out to travel too far. Once the doors were closed, she turned to look at Eric again. “Jesus, Eric! I am begging. Can you just—stop running away from your conflicts. Pushing away anything and anyone that makes you even the smallest bit uncomfortable is not going to help you.”

She couldn’t even get herself to sit back down. Her entire body shook and she just needed to have the chance to move. It was driving her nuts how uncomfortable she felt being in her own body while it felt like her chest was being clenched with no chance of release and her skin burned from the head to toe.

“Talk to me! You are obviously upset over this. It is hard for me to believe you when you say ‘it’s fine’. You haven’t looked at me once since my friend left.” Lizzie paused to collect her thoughts. “Avoiding this is not going to make it go away. That’s not how this works. That’s not how we make this better!”

“How can—You planned this surprise for me. You went out of your way to skip rehearsals and I left you waiting for hours. How are you not upset?! How can you sit there and just dismiss whatever you are feeling just so we don’t have to talk about it?!” Lizzie cupped her hands over her mouth for a moment. She shut her eyes tight to keep her emotions in check. Her eyes burned forcing her frustrated tears back.

The moment ended. Lizzie dropped her hands then walked back to the couch. She took the smaller couch so that she was directly in his line of vision whether he was looking right at her or not. She was going to force him to acknowledge that she was right there. “You have every right to be upset with me for being late; for ruining your plans. What you aren’t allowed to do here is push those feelings aside and pray that we can move on from this.” She leaned back. “Believe me, that’s not going to make things better for us. It’ll just make things more difficult. I have been telling you this for weeks, if something is wrong, tell me. I, of all people, can understand your frustrations for making you wait for me when you could be doing something else.”

Lizzie’s eyes widened. She knew the second the words came out that she had not intended for Eric to hear that. And she knew from looking at him now that it struck a chord.

She bit her bottom lip as her mind went into overdrive to figure out how to reel the conversation back before more words meant to be unsaid were said. But the moment she caught Eric’s reaction to her statement, she knew there was no going back. She refused to have him try and walk out of this one too. She refused to have this moment be another situation that she would have to wait “one day” to face with him.

The common room was dead silent between them as Lizzie took her own advice and plucked up the last of her courage to continue. “Eric, listen to me.” She sat up straight now. “I meant what I said weeks ago when I told you that I was in for this, for all of it. And I have been patient because I—” She took a deep breath. “What you went through these last five years can’t have been easy. I can’t even—I understand that talking about this out loud is difficult. The last thing I want is to make you feel like you’re being forced to share what you’re not ready to tell me. But if I have to find out through a drinking game some of the things you did during that time, what’s even the point of me waiting?” This seemed to catch his attention again. He must still have no recollection of what happened during Flat Night.

“I can’t be like Olivia, okay? I can’t,” she continued, tugging at the sleeves of her sweater. “She’s had two years to be okay with whatever this is that you’re going through. You two grew up together. She has the benefit of knowing basically everything. But me? I just met you last August and I only started getting to actually know you two weeks ago. With what little I know now, I can’t be like your best friend and be okay with just an update every so often. After Barking, I’ve been worried sick for you. Every. Day.” Her voice cracked, unable to keep her emotions together. “Last Tuesday I drove myself crazy waiting here for you because you didn’t even bother to tell me you had a second shift. I was scared that this Howard guy brought you back to Barking or something and I would never see you again.”

“I…” Lizzie bit her lip again. This was the first time her thoughts finally caught up with her and hesitated to say what she wanted to say next. After a long sigh, she decided to go for it. “I want to believe you when you said weeks ago that you would talk to me ‘one day’. But, should I really, when you keep dismissing any opportunity you get to talk to me?” ​

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