Patreon LogoYour support makes Blue Moon possible (Patreon)

Not Your Average Teen Pop Star (DarkDreamer9110 x MsBloom)

Reader mode
Cassie purred as Ellie's fingers tapped along her spine, the pitch shifting as she did so. This became a whimper as Ellie turned back to Sabrina. As Ellie explained it, Cassie nodded. "It's ... Yeah. Our motto, basically. Our BFF thing. And it ... I mean, it's our band name. It was always something we saw as ... We'd always be together in it. I think ... For me, at least, if nothing else, it's always been the closest I ever felt I could get to both saying and hearing 'I love you' with her. So it ... Yeah, it means a lot to us. And more now."

Sabrina nodded thoughtfully. "So this has been a thing between you for some time. Interesting that it creates and reinforces a shared meaning for you two, that being your band and the music you work on together. So you both found something you enjoyed doing together, and eventually, that interest became a foundational part of your relationship. You have used those words of a shared future together to a point where it feels like you're both totally committed to making it work because, on some level, you have never considered it wouldn't, and that ritual reinforced the belief. So you two are prepared to do everything you can to guarantee it works. Which is good. It means compromise and communication are going to be very easy."
 
Last edited:
Ellie bit her lip and blushed with embarrassment as Cassie explained to Sabrina that their ritual was the closest she had ever been to saying/hearing: I Love You. She had been such an idiot for not realising it much earlier, for not having seen that her BFF loved her beyond that. She had been blind but she also couldn't help wonder why Cassie had never said anything before, why it had taken her almost getting date-raped for Cassie to let her know how she felt and now with Sabrina's reassurance of how the ritual was indeed a commitment between them to do everything they could to guarantee their relationship would work in the long run she swallowed and posed the question to Cassie.
"Why didn't you just tell me how you felt?"
 
Cassie blushed, glancing at Ellie before looking down and shaking her head. "I was scared. I didn't think ... I didn't think you'd be interested in me. You liked boys, as far as I knew, and I wasn't a boy. And everyone tells you saying you're in love with your best friend never ends well. And, I mean ... I didn't want to make things weird or ruin what we had. Because what if I told you and you thought I was crazy, or lying, or just didn't feel the same way? I was ... Uncertainty was safer than a confirmed no." She said, not looking up.

"I ... I never thought you felt the same way. That night at prom, that song ... It was the best thing I could think of that might show you how I felt without directly like mentioning it. I just ... So, when I told my mom and Sabrina, they both told me I was the only one who could take the step of expressing myself and my feelings towards you. And even now, if I had been clear sooner ... What if you hadn't been ready to accept yourself and rejected me for that reason?"
 
It was a fair point Cassie made. What if even a week before Ellie hadn't been ready to accept her own emotions, her own sexuality. Had anyone asked her before the night of junior prom she would probably have said she was straight as a bamboo pole, or had she. It was perhaps not that simple after all. As she thought back there had probably been little signs to the contrary. Nothing that would have stuck out to those around her and nothing she would have explicitly talked about with Cassie. Some of her nightly internet activity would certainly have suggested it though, whether or not she would have been ready to admit it to herself was of course a wholly different matter entirely.

It also raised the question whether the song alone would have been enough for Ellie to figure it out and accept that she did feel the same way, or was it Cassie charging in to save her from being raped like a knight in shining armour that had opened her eyes, and her heart. It also raised the question whether or not this was something Sabrina knew about. Was the answer to the first of the questions even important. It had happened and Ellie had realised the song had been specifically for her, a declaration of love from Cassie an now they were girlfriends. That was what mattered wasn't it?

She took Cassie's face in her hands and rubbed away the hint of tears forming at the corners of her eyes.
"I don't know Babe," she said and gave her girlfriend a quick kiss on the lips.
"We'll never know either way will we. You saved me and I fell in love with you, or maybe I just realised I already was in love with you without realising I was."
She looked up at Sabrina and smiled.
"I mean we've always been close, and emotionally intimate. The only thing that's really changed is that the intimacy is now also physical. I've always loved Cassie I just never thought it was in this way, not until ..."
The words got stuck in her throat as it was hard to say them out loud.
 
Last edited:
Cassie smiled, pulling Ellie close, and nodding at Sabrina as her girlfriend choked up.

"Until Keith assaulted you and Cassie stopped him." Sabrina said. "You went through a traumatic event and Cassie rescued you. It's probable that your heightened stress and the heat of the moment, the impact of Cassie's rescue, all simply made you more receptive to what was already there. But I must recommend you consider therapy, at least a few sessions. You went through a traumatic event. Keith tried to rape you. It's natural that you could benefit from guidance while healing from it. Just my suggestion."
 
Ellie leaned into Cassie's embrace and rested her head against her shoulder, only just managing to hold the tears back while she listened to Sabrina fill in the blanks of what she had left out. She was right, Ellie concluded to herself, about everything. It was the elevated stress of almost getting raped and Cassie coming to her rescue, the comforting embrace after Cassie had kicked Keith's ass that had led to their first serious kiss, to Ellie opening her eyes to see Cassie in a completely different light, or rather letting the feelings she had carried around inside out to allow her to admit them to herself. Perhaps she had hidden them, even from herself, for the same reason Cassie had not mentioned how she felt about Ellie, fear of losing her best friend ever, fear of ruining everything they had shared and would share in the future, a future that now lay wide open in front of them.

She nodded, her cheek still against Cassie's shoulder, when Sabrina suggested therapy. Perhaps it might be a good thing to have a safe space to breakdown about what had almost happened about the aftermath of it.
"I think I would like that," she whispered barely audibly.
 
Cassie pulled Ellie into a full hug, stroking her cheek gently and whispering softly, "it's okay, babe. I've got you. You're safe now. You're okay. You're alright."

Sabrina smiled as the two girls sat there, nodding. "I will see about referring you to one of my colleagues, then, and get you started on that. But for now, is there anything else either of you want to discuss?"

Cassie smiled at Ellie, then nodded as Sabrina spoke. "I, uh, yeah. We both think ... We'd rather have a couples' therapy thing in place before we need one. I mean, considering a lot of things, it just will make it so much simpler to already have that support structure."
 
Ellie nodded in agreement, both to Sabrina seeing about a referral to one of her colleagues for trauma therapy and to Cassie's response to her question if there was anything else either of them wanted to discuss. No matter how much either of them wanted to think they could have a normal relationship they both knew it wouldn't be that. Even if there might not be any issues between the two of them there would always be issues with the world around them, whether it would be small minded people or legal and medical issues.
"And, I'm not sure if that is something you do but I know that at least I would very much like it to be you."
 
Cassie squeezed Ellie's hand reassuringly. "I'd like that, too. You and I already have a rapport, and I know Ellie's onboard with you."

Sabrina nodded. "I can manage that. I do provide some couples' therapy. Although I would also like to begin seeing you separately, Ellie, if that is okay. That way, you have the same space Cassie does, and you and I can start working together. Now, the individual therapy, and this goes for both of you, is for individual issues. Personal matters that do not concern the larger relationship. The couples sessions are for you both to address issues and concerns in the context of the larger relationship. Essentially, if a matter directly affects or concerns you both and/or could directly affect your relationship, it should be discussed in the joint sessions. Anything that has a tangible effect on the relationship's stability can be discussed there. Okay?"

Cassie nodded. "Okay. And ... Thank you. Thank you for agreeing. I know I wasn't looking forward to having to find another one, even just for this."

Sabrina nodded. "I'm happy you feel that way, Cassie. And I'm glad I could help."

"And hey, when we do the, uh, sex experiment stuff ... If it's okay with you ..."

"You have my number, Cassie. Whether it goes good or bad, you can call me and I will find the time for you. And you, Ellie."

"One more thing. Ellie and I are doing a livestream charity gig at my dad's restaurant this weekend. Gonna mix it with a Q&A. I'd love to see you there."

Sabrina nodded. "I'll be happy to be there."
 
Last edited:
Having never before been to a therapist Ellie now left Sabrina's office with three appointments in her calendar, one for trauma therapy that Sabrina had phoned a colleague and set up, one for a couples session with Cassie and one for herself with Sabrina. In a sense it almost felt like the most grown up thing she had experienced even if perhaps that was of course ridiculous. It just meant she had had a safe and comfortable life up until the night of her junior prom.

In the following days they wrote some of they brainstormed some questions for their charity gig, mostly very basic questions intended to get the ball rolling with questions from the audience. Adrienne was of course also involved in this since she would play the part of MC that evening and was the one asking the questions. They also handed out special invitations to some of their friends at school, among which was a trans-male who had found the courage to come out as such after Cassie's speech. It turned out that he was among their biggest fans. They also arranged for the rather awkwardly cute couple from the AV club, that everyone knew were into each other except for themselves, to film the event since it would be too important an event to do with a static camera.

Come Saturday afternoon the girls had hauled most of their musical equipment to Eric Clayton's restaurant and set it up on the small stage in one of the corners. Ellie was doing a quick last minute check to make sure that all the backing tapes were as they were supposed to be and did so with just a hint of frustration as she felt it was a bit restricting to be bound by backing tracks and would rather have had an actual group of musicians to perform their music fully live. That was however just a dream at the moment, but perhaps now that people had started talking about them there would be a chance of putting such a group together.

With that done she then checked and adjusted the tuning on her guitar and called Cassie to the stage for a sound check. She was quite nervous since this was without question their biggest, and perhaps most important, gig to date. This might be the one that really put them on the map.
 
It was definitely a big gig, and very important to Cassie, at the least. It was also definitely important as a fundraiser, with all proceeds (including the restaurant's entire profits for the evening) earmarked for donation to trans and LGBTQIA+ organizations. They had also written a list of questions and such that would absolutely not be allowed, mostly because they were either insensitive or offensive.

Having a live camera crew was a new experience, but it was unquestionably the right call. Cassie and Ellie would, of course, be too busy to handle that, and Adrienne needed to focus on the question management and such. Plus, with a multi-camera setup, including multiple static cameras and a moving camera operator, it would make it easier to both get good shots and to move between the stage during their sets and the area set up for the Q&A sessions during those. It was simply a more professional setup and choice.

Cassie had been going over the starter questions and such with Adrienne when Ellie called her over for the sound check. She smiled, heading over and getting that underway.

The restaurant was packed to capacity, both inside and on the outdoor dining area. It was definitely the largest audience they had performed in front of, and Cassie was definitely feeling the nervousness.

As they wrapped up the sound check, Cassie smiled again, walking over to Ellie and pulling her close.

"You wanna do the thing before we go live, or at the beginning of the first set on camera?" She asked.
 
Ellie made a few last second adjustments on the mixer before picking up her guitar to play the first chords of the song they would open with, Heart of a Dreamer. It was also a good song to test the overall sound with since it had both quiet parts and some rather loud rocking parts in the middle with lost of drums and a fuzzy guitar solo. They ran through the entire song and with a few minor adjustments Ellie was happy and left Cassie to do a few vocal tests on her own if she wanted to and to warm up her voice.
"I'll just go change," she said and headed into the staff's changing rooms.
She had actually gone out to buy an entirely new outfit for the gig that even Cassie hadn't seen yet. She felt that if this would turn out to be their first break through it was time to start dressing the part of a rising pop star, even if of course Cassie was the real star.

By the time Cassie joined her in the dressing room for their last minute preparations before Adrienne was to announce them Ellie was already dressed and wore knee high boots with the outfit, her bright red hair in pigtails. She was putting the last touches on her rather heavy elaborate eye makeup.

She looked at herself in the mirror while Cassie was getting dressed. She certainly did look the part. It was not everyday Eleanor Margaret Spencer looking back at her.
 
Last edited:
As Cassie entered the dressing room a few minutes later, she paused as she caught sight of Ellie in her new outfit, staring at her for a few moments before walking over.

"You look awesome, babe." She said, giving Ellie a quick peck on the cheek before changing into her own outfit, one she had picked out and bought for the occasion with her mom (and one she had shown Ellie the pictures of, although she had held off on showing Ellie how she looked in it. Her own makeup was similar in intensity to Ellie's, her eye makeup especially, having been done with blue, pink, and white for the same reason she had chosen a sparkly rainbow dress; anybody with a passing knowledge of LGBTQIA+ flags would recognize the Pride and trans flag colors. If she was going to be out there and visible, she certainly wasn't going to shy away from showing the world that she was queer. Her look was a very clear statement of that fact.

As they finished up, she looked over at Ellie again. "You ready for this?" She asked.
 
Last edited:
"Damn we look good," Ellie said as the two stood side by side in front of the mirror after Cassie had changed and done her make up.
It was obvious to Ellie what her girlfriend was trying to say with her outfit. The dress might be obvious to most people but the make up would speak more loudly to those in the know regarding her choice of colours.

She took Cassie's hand and nodded almost as if trying to convince herself she was ready.
"Funhouse Sweethearts forever, babe," she said and pressed her forehead to Cassie's and then after Cassie had said it back Ellie added a kiss to their ritual.
It somehow felt natural. She then took a deep breath as she heard Adrienne greet the audience.

Adrienne was dressed much more low key than the band, in purple jeans and a dark orange button down shirt with a wide white belt separating them, which was about as close as she got to representing the colours of the lesbian flag, even if that would perhaps be less obvious to most who were not in the know.
"And now I won't keep you waiting any longer," she said after having explained the purpose of the concert and encouraged the audience to write down questions for the Q&A sections.
"The reason we are all here ... Please welcome Funhouse Sweethearts to the stage."

Ellie gave Cassie one last nod and then walked out alone, picked up her guitar, started the backing tracks and played the intro to Heart of a Dreamer, barely looking up at the audience until Cassie took the stage just in time for the first verse.
 
"Funhouse Sweethearts forever." Cassie echoed, returning the kiss and finding that it made a suitable addition to their ritual.

In addition to the live audience's questions, there was of course an online means for those streaming it to ask their own questions. Adrienne had made it clear during her introductory bit that no questions of rude, insensitive, offensive, or transphobic nature would be permitted.

As Ellie headed out first and took her place, Cassie smiled. As the song started, Cassie moved into position herself, mentally counting down the beats and starting the lyrics just as the spotlights came on, instantly turning her and Ellie into glittery, reflective disco balls.

It wasn't the first time she'd been on stage, of course, and not even the first time performing at the restaurant. But this was their first livestreamed performance, and more than that, this was Cassie's debut performance as openly trans to the world. She was making a point here, taking a stand. The importance could not be overstated. She was almost paralyzed with nervousness, only her mouth moving as she sang for the fist few moments, but as her eyes scanned the crowd, seeing everyone there who had supported her, who had come to show her they supported her, her confidence grew, and soon she was working the stage enthusiastically, dancing and very much showing she knew the importance of stage presence.

By the end of their first set, she was positively glowing, her entire being channeled into the performance. She belonged on the stage as though she'd been born for it.

As they wrapped the set up, she glanced over to Adrienne, who nodded, and soon Ellie and Cassie were seated across from her, one of the cameras focused on the trio for the first Q&A session.
 
The intro had been four bars of clean guitar only followed by another four bars with just a simple yet driving hi hat figure before it all just came crashing down in a roll across the toms. Ellie pressed the fuzz pedal and the spotlights flooded the stage in red and yellow light which lit them both up like disco balls and the song was on its way, for the chorus there was another dynamic rise. This was repeated for another verse and chorus before the music died out to almost nothing, just a soft melody played on a flute of some sort with the instruments all coming back in one by one building up to a fast paced instrumental middle eight where Ellie played a short energetic solo before the song returned to a final chorus. It was all over in just under three minutes and the fact that they had managed so much withing those three minutes was something Ellie had always been proud of.

Eight minutes and two more songs later the first set was over and it was time for the first Q&A. Ellie put the guitar in the rack, checked something on the lap top before joining Cassie who had certainly grown into it after having been apparently nervous through the first verse. As the chorus started it was as if someone had flipped a switch in Cassie and she had started to dance around on the small stage and, when the stage wasn't big enough for her, on the floor below it. Ellie had remained mostly still, moving subtly to the music, tapping her foot on the floor. She was not much for the kind of attention Cassie's performance style attracted but was rather pleased taking the back seat to provide Cassie with the beats and grooves she needed to blossom.

As the girls seated themselves Cassie's dad brought them each a tall glass of iced sodas with a big proud smile on his face. He gave Cassie a quick peck on the cheek, looked straight into the camera, made a thumbs up and said: "That's my girl," before removing himself from the camera's view which then focused on Adrienne seated opposite the girls with a small bunch of cue cards and a smile.
"So, girls. This first round are questions you have pre-approved just to get things started so why don't we start with a question for you Cassie that I am sure in light of recent events many of your fans are curious about."
Adrienne paused momentarily looking at both girls in turn.
"You recently came out as being trans. When did you first start to realise you were a girl rather than the boy you were born as?"
 
Cassie had blushed, given her dad a quick hug, an "I love you, Daddy," and a wave goodbye as he headed back to the kitchen.

Cassie took a deep breath as the Q&A officially started. She has decided it would be best to get the personal questions out of the way first. Especially that one. And not to satisfy the morbid curiosity about it some might have, but because Cassie knew the story could help others. It was something that might matter to someone to hear.

She took a deep breath, reaching over to clasp Ellie's hand, looking at her for support before nodding.

"I was about ... Six when I started to think something didn't feel right. I wasn't sure what. Ellie and I, we had been friends from birth, basically. Raised together since diapers. When we occasionally hung out with other younger kids, especially boys, I never really felt like one of them. And when Ellie and I played pretend, I liked to pretend I was in a female role.

"By the time I was eight, I had realized what was different, that I felt ... I envied Ellie and the other girls at school and in the neighborhood. But I didn't understand what that really meant. I didn't have the words. 'I want to be a girl' wasn't a thought I could cohesively express. But I had gotten my parents to let me grow my hair a bit.

"It wasn't until I was nine that I finally comprehended what I felt, what I wanted. And it was a song that finally made me realize it. So that led to me coming out to my parents on my tenth birthday. We'll have more about that specifically later." She said, smiling warmly, looking at the camera. "I knew who I was before I had the words to express it. Long before. Think about that. Listen to your kids, people; they know themselves better than you do, and better than you think they do."
 
Ellie nodded along as Cassie told her story up to the point of coming out to her parents and as it happened also to Ellie's mum who, as a long time neighbour and Madison Clayton's business partner, had of course also been invited to Cassie's tenth birthday party. She didn't interject though but a knowing smile spread on her face as Cassie mentioned that it had been a specific song that in the end gave her the words she needed to express what she felt. Before that Ellie had been the only one who knew. Sometimes Ellie felt that she had perhaps known before Cassie herself had the words to express who and what she was.

Every time they played dress up pretend as kids Austin, as Cassie's name had been back then, always chose Ellie's more girly clothes and even if Ellie didn't have any more words for it than Austin had had she had always found it curious that Austin didn't stop at just slipping a dress on, or a skirt but also borrowed Ellie's underwear and pantyhose. Ellie also remembered how they had played around with a lot of different names for Austin as a girl, Allie, Tina, Bridget until one sleepover when the two were cuddled up in Ellie's bed both wearing nighties the name Cassandra, Cassie for short, somehow stuck with Austin and from that night forward Ellie never called her BFF Austin when they were alone together. After the name Cassie had stuck Austin somehow didn't feel right anymore.

"There are so many kids out there, and I would dare say even adults, who are hiding their true selves for fear of being humiliated, ostracised and sadly also of being abused, both physically and mentally for who they truly are. Why? Simply because even today, our society and its normative expectations is still centred around obsolete ideas about gender roles. Girls are still expected to play with dolls and learn how to cook while boys are expected to play with cars and action figures. I was never interested in dolls when I was younger. I much preferred to run around playing rough with the boys. That doesn't mean I feel like a boy, or want to be a boy. I am still very much a girl and very comfortable being a girl. I'm just as much a girl as Cassie is. I was just never into girly stuff."

Normally Ellie wasn't quite as vocal or outspoken. Most of the time she was quiet and shy leaving Cassie to do the talking but at that moment she felt that she wanted to elaborate on Cassie's appeal for parents everywhere to listen to their children, to be openminded when it came to gender identity and aware of the signs of gender dysphoria, their children might be displaying and rather than seeing it as a problem to be fixed to support and encourage them to express themselves any way the feel comfortable with.
 
Cassie gazed at her girlfriend with a look of adoration as Ellie spoke about her own acceptance of Cassie.

"It's the difference between gender identity, gender expression, and gender roles. Identity is a feeling. It's not something I can describe, really. But I was most comfortable behaving in a more traditionally feminine manner. Like I said, I knew it before I knew the words for it. It's an innate feeling. Something that just resonates with you."

Adrienne nodded. "So, next question?"

Cassie nodded. "Yeah."

"You started your medical transition fairly young, correct? What was that like, and is there any advice you might have for people concerned about the possible medical issues?"

Cassie nodded. "For me, it started with puberty blockers. Buying time to stave off the irreversible changes to things like skeletal structure that a testosterone-driven puberty would cause. Things that would make it so much harder living in my skin.

"I started those a few months after coming out, and after I had started seeing a gender therapist. And then, when Ellie and I moved here with our families, I was 13 and by that point we —my parents, gender therapist, and myself— were all certain that moving forward with my transition was the best thing for me. It had been the subject of three years of careful consideration. Far from rushed, or impulsive. Carefully done under professional care. Plus, we were moving to a whole new area. So I could socially transition. Blend in as the girl I was instead of being 'that trans kid.' I could have a normal high school experience, nobody persecuting me or bullying me for being trans. I was lucky enough to have the privilege to be able to blend in as the girl I was.

"So I started the female puberty HRT at the same time I socially transitioned. And it felt ... Let me tell you, the day I started those ... It was impossible not to be just ... Overjoyed. It was finally happening. After most of my life not feeling comfortable in my skin, with that image, that boy, staring at me in the mirror, I was finally going to have one I could look at, even enjoy seeing.

"Now, for advice for anyone looking at transitioning and worried about the risks, all I can say is, it is far safer to have those resources available through legitimate and readily-accessible means. Of course there can be medical issues and complications. Nothing is truly entirely safe. Nothing. But medical care should be done be professionals, experts in this stuff who can properly monitor your care. People who actually know what they're doing. But when that isn't easily accessible to those who need it, you end up with people becoming desperate to find alternative options for transition because they don't have access to those safe and controlled services. So those people who get desperate, they might try DIY stuff, hormones from shady sources, find some meatball surgeon to do their GCS. If society would just allow access to life-saving health care and just trust people to make up their own minds about what they want for their bodies, it will save lives. Gender affirming care is life-saving care! I will be willing to go into detail more about the studies and safety concerns after the concert finishes, because we'll be doing a more freeform discussion then."

Adrienne nodded. "Gender affirming care is life-saving care indeed."
 
Last edited:
"So the next question is for you Ellie," Adrienne said after a brief pause to allow Cassie's message and advice to sink in.
"It is now only a week since you came out as a lesbian, or at least as bisexual. When did you realise that you were attracted to girls?"
The question was simple enough but the answer was a lot more complicated than the question might suggest. Ellie was sure that Adrienne herself would have a quick and definitive answer to it, perhaps even a date and a situation where it was clear to her that she had no interest in boys.
"Honestly," she said and looked into the camera for a moment.
"I'm not entirely sure how to answer that. I mean the defining moment came after Junior prom only a week ago when Cassie charged in like a knight in shining armour to save me from a boy expecting more than was offered or even suggested. That was the moment I realised I was in love with Cassie. I also realised the next day that I probably had been for quite a while, even if I wasn't ready to admit it, or recognise it."
She paused and looked at Cassie, reaching out to take her hand and give her a quick kiss.
"That had me thinking back to all the sleepovers we've had over the years, to all the times I've found myself ... ummm ..."
She hesitated and blushed but realised that she had started down a path of confession that she had to follow to where it took her.
"... watching videos of women masturbating and ... well touching myself as I watched."
Her face was now bright red and she looked down at her hands as they rested in her lap. She had of course been aware that the question would be asked as she had approved it, even if the idea of it had come from Adrienne.
"Maybe that should have been a clear sign that I was attracted to girls, but somehow I rationalised it with being curious about how to touch myself for maximum pleasure."
She now looked up at Adrienne who smiled a comforting smile at her.
"So yea. It took Cassie saving my ass, literally, for the shoe to drop but there was signs before that. I was just blind to them. Next question please."
The last words were little more than a whisper but it was clear that Ellie was done talking about her late night internet activities.
 
Cassie had smiled back at Ellie, returning the kiss and squeezing her hand. Talking about the attempted rape wasn't easy. She nodded, giving Ellie a brief hug.

"Let's all be glad that she was there, then." Adrienne said somberly, then looked at Cassie. "And what about you, Cassie? You also came out as a lesbian recently. Was that something you only recently figured out, or have you known for a while?"

Cassie shrugged. "For me, I always liked girls more. Even as a little kid. But that was, for lack of a better word, 'normal,' since, at the time I still thought I was a boy. So for me, realizing I was a lesbian went hand in hand with my egg cracking. That is, with my realizing I was trans. I was a girl who was sexually attracted to girls exclusively. So I just ... Yeah. It wasn't like a big, life-changing revelation. The only thing that changed was the term for my preference. But I never really advertised that interest. I know even Ellie thought I was straight until I serenaded her at junior prom."

Adrienne chuckled. "Yeah, that was cute. So, one more question for you, Cassie, and then a couple for the both of you. Now, we've talked about you realizing when you were transgender and stuff. But let's talk about a more serious thing for a moment. Now, most of those watching have probably seen the videos from the school assembly and it's aftermath on Monday. You came out publicly that weekend. What was it like going to school that first morning? How did people react, and how did that match or differ from your expectations?"

It was Cassie's turn to look at Ellie and seek comfort with a hug and hand squeeze for a moment before speaking. "Let's start with how it differed. I understood, at least from a logical perspective, that not everyone would like it, that some people would see it as reason to hate me. I expected at least some level of transphobic reactions. But it's one thing to anticipate a bit of transphobia. It's a whole other thing to have a guy like twice your size decide he's going to slam you into the wall while screaming slurs and try to punch your skull in just because of who you are. I mean, because I was stealth, because I "passed," which is inherently a transphobic concept and expectation, I had never really personally experienced transphobic reactions from people, let alone such a violent one. So yeah, that was ... Terrifying. I honestly thought he was going to try to kill me.

"As for how it matched my expectations ... I mean, you and the rest of the girls' track team are the perfect example. You accepted it unquestioningly, you all threw your support behind me. At the assembly, especially, when you and the others offered to stand up there with me. That was more the reaction I had hoped for."

Adrienne nodded somberly again. "I remember seeing him attack you. It can't be easy talking about something like that. Thank you for sharing."

Cassie nodded. "Awareness is the most important tool of all. A lot of people try to ignore the ugly truths, sweep issues under the rug or just pretend they don't exist. Violence against women, cisgender or transgender, is one of those. The best way to fight that is to speak up, to not let people keep their heads in the sand, to force society to confront the ugly bits about itself. People as a whole don't like talking about uncomfortable subjects. But we need to. Nothing gets better, nothing improves, if nobody talks about the problems."

Another nod from Adrienne, this one more enthusiastic and upbeat. "That's the truth, girl!"
 
Last edited:
Ellie held Cassie hand tightly to support and comfort her as she talked about the start of that first day back at school after their coming out video, both as lesbians, as girlfriends and Cassie telling the world she had been born a boy. On a strictly intellectual level Ellie could of course understand what Cassie must have been going through that morning but emotionally was a whole other cup of tea. She had of course been nervous herself about what to expect that morning but there was a difference between her coming out as at least bisexual and Cassie publicly kicking down the door to the closet as vast as the ocean. Even though Cassie had talked about it, turned the attack on her into a victory that day Ellie had no way of ever fully understanding what she had gone through. All she could do was offer support, comfort and acceptance.

She mentioned some of the hate they had gotten on what had become known as the coming-out-video and agreed with Cassie that the only way to achieve any kind of change was to not shy away from the difficult topics but rather stand up and let the world hear the truths they don't want to hear but need to hear.
"Me Too was a good start but it can't stop there. Every girl who is subjected to the oppression of male expectations is one victim too many, and that goes for trans girls, and trans boys, as well, no matter what the TERFs say." she concluded and looked at Cassie with love and pride glittering in her eyes.

Adrienne once again nodded in agreement and then moved on to the next question.
"Now both of you. As I understand it you have been friends for a very long time before becoming girlfriends. Just how and when did you meet?"
 
Last edited:
Cassie nodded as Ellie spoke, holding her hand. "Every voice matters, and we cannot allow ourselves to be silenced." She said.

At the next question, Cassie chuckled. "Honestly, probably the day I was born. See, our families had been friends for some time before that. Our moms were pregnant together, and we were born only a week apart, Ellie being the older of us. So we've known each other almost literally our entire lives. We've been neighbors almost that whole time, too. So we've honestly practically been one family. I know I basically consider Joan, Ellie's mom, like an aunt."

Adrienne nodded. "So you've literally grown up together. That's got to be a hell of a bond." Cassie nodded, gazing at Ellie.

"Yeah. It is."

"Now, a lot of times, you'll see people suggesting that dating a friend can end badly, that it's not a good idea because it can ruin the entire friendship if something happens that affects the romantic relationship. How does it feel to be romantically involved with someone who has been your BFF your whole life, and aren't you worried about things falling apart?"

Cassie looked at Ellie. "I have loved Ellie my whole life. First as friends, and then, starting a few years ago, as more. I never acted because of that fear of it ruining things. But this ... Being with her feels right. It feels like ... We've known each other so long I know her as well as I know myself. She's my soulmate. And no, I'm not worried about a breakup ruining our friendship. I know we can work through anything. Hell, we've both already agreed that we should have a couples' therapist, to have a support structure that can help us resolve and deal with any issues that might arise. The fact is, expecting anything, especially a relationship, to work with zero maintenance or effort is ... Fucking stupid. You want something to last, you take care of it. You nurture it. You have to work on it. I love Ellie, and I am willing to put in every ounce of effort I have to in order to make it work."
 
Last edited:
"I remember mum saying that when we were younger we came and went in each others' houses it was almost as if our parents had shared custody over us both, almost like step-sisters," Ellie added with a smile and an embarrassed chuckle.
"As taboo as that sounds in light of recent development, but I'd say it is a good metaphor for how close we've always been. Like Cassie said, I've always considered her parents, Eric and Madison, like an aunt and uncle or perhaps as a sort of extra parents."
She then paused and looked across to the other end of the bar where Cassie's dad was serving drinks. In many ways he was almost more of a dad to her than her biological dad was and had been ever since her mum and dad separated when she was four. Her dad moved to Sacramento and they had moved first to Fresno where Joan Spencer and Madison Clayton had started their own legal firm focusing on contract law and divorce and then to Los Angeles making for a distance of almost 8 hours by Greyhound. She said nothing about it though because even if her dad didn't exactly follow their YouTube channel her half sisters Alice and Megan did and she didn't want to hurt anyone with such a statement. Eric knew, so did Joan and Madison. Even Cassie knew that Ellie was emotionally closer to Eric than to her own dad.

"I think this closeness we've always shared as the most natural thing in the world is why I'm no more worried that a possible break up of us as girlfriends would ruin our friendship than Cassie is," Ellie followed Cassie's reply.
"I've always loved Cassie. I just love her differently now, not more, just differently. It's Funhouse Sweethearts forever."
Ellie leaned in close to Cassie and touched her own forehead to Cassie's and looked into her eyes. It was the first time anyone beside the two of them had seen their ritual even if they of course didn't know what it meant.
"And it always will be."

Adrienne nodded and smiled.
"Speaking of which," she said and turned to look directly into the camera.
"It is now time for the second set so please give a big applause for Funhouse Sweetheart as they retake the stage."
 
Last edited:
Cassie watched as Ellie spoke. She knew that Ellie saw Eric as more of a father figure, had more emotional connection with him, than her biological one, of course. Heck, she remembered the times she and Ellie had gone shopping for Father's Day presents together and had usually jointly bought one for Eric, usually far more thoughtful and expensive than the one for Ellie's father. She also understood Ellie not wanting to put the depth of that emotional connection out to the world because it would only hurt her father and half sisters to hear.

Cassie nodded as Ellie spoke of their closeness, and as Ellie drew her closer and initiated their ritual, she smiled, reaching up to caress Ellie's neck as she returned the phrase. "Funhouse Sweethearts forever." She repeated, adding a quick kiss before they moved back to the stage.

As they prepped everything to get back to the music, Adrienne filled the gap in airtime with a quick filler conversation with Sabrina, focused on the importance of proper and trans-affirming language, meant as a basic primer of what was acceptable rather than a comprehensive discussion of why some things were acceptable and why others weren't. That would be done later.

As they worked through the next set, Cassie's confidence carried over from the previous set, easily pushing aside the turmoil that speaking about the attack from Keith had brought up. It was almost the opposite of stage fright. Stage euphoria, maybe a stage high? It gave her a rush, a supremely heady high that soon had her lost in the music.

With the second set done, it was time for another session of the Q&A. However, this time, with audience questions being included, they had decided to allow for time to let the girls moderate the questions and any that Adrienne was unsure about. So while Cassie and Ellie headed over to another booth to go over the questions, Adrienne was doing a segment segment with Madison, Eric, and Joan, to showcase the parents' perspective on the issues.

"So, here we are, with the proud parents. We have prepared some questions for them, because their perspective might be enlightening in some areas. Let's start with a quick introduction."

The three went around, introducing themselves, and then Adrienne started with the first question. "So, this first question is for Madison and Eric. You both have definitely shown yourselves to be amazing and supportive allies of your daughter. But what was it like at first? When Cassie first came out to you, how did you respond?"

This was of course a planned question, and one which had had the answer already planned.

"Well, Adrienne, we can do better than answering that question." Madison began as Eric stood up and walked over to the projector they'd set up. "A picture is worth a thousand words, so a movie must be worth more. We actually have the home video from that birthday party here, and with Cassie's permission we are going to show that."

Adrienne nodded. "So we're actually going to see the moment she came out to you and your reactions?"

Madison nodded. "Words alone wouldn't do it justice. Now, it is very important to note that this video does include Cassie's deadname. That is not permission for anyone to use it. Cassie chose to let us show this for the importance of the educational value it might have. But you do not disrespect her by using that name for her anymore."

When Eric gave the thumbs-up that they were ready, Madison smiled and nodded.

"Everyone, if you would please direct your attention to the screen on the stage, we're about to see a very important moment in Cassie's life. Coming out, especially to family, can be a very personal experience and involves allowing yourself an incredible vulnerability to their reaction. Rejection or acceptance, it's still putting yourself in a spot where you can't be sure until the moment they react." Adrienne said.

Eric returned to his seat as the video started.


Madison and Eric were shown, sitting at the family's dinner table, and it could be inferred that Joan was recording. The video panned over to the stairs as two children's voices could be heard. Ellie came down the stairs first, and she looked at the adults. "Austin is coming down in a moment. He has something he wants to tell you all, but he needs you to promise you won't say or question anything until he's done."

Madison and Eric exchanged a glance. "We promise." They agreed. Ellie nodded, calling out for Austin to come down. Joan focused the camera on the stairs as the sound of footsteps could be heard, and Austin emerged. It was a little hard to see, but it seemed that there was some makeup on his face, and shoulder-length hair was pulled back into a short ponytail. Murmurs could be heard from off screen as Madison and Eric had a quick exchange of unintelligible words.

The two kids walked over to the microphone and musical instruments set up nearby. Austin looked at Madison and Eric nervously. A gentle nudge from Ellie got him to reach for the microphone, before Ellie picked up her own guitar and started playing. As the opening notes of "Reflection" from the 1998 animated Mulan movie started, Austin took a breath before starting to sing. It was the movie version rather than the OST, and it soon became apparent that Austin had replaced the female gendered terms with male versions, making it more in line with a boy singing it. As the song ended, he glanced at his parents, who sat there, clearly slightly confused.

Before they could speak, Austin spoke. "I'm not the son you thought you had. I never have been. I ... I'm a girl inside. I'm sorry. I can't hide who I am inside." The confidence that had taken over the young girl while she performed soon faded, and it was clear she was nervous to the point of tears.

As the words sank in, Madison's hands moved to her mouth in a shocked gasp, and Eric simply seemed stunned. Seeing the reactions, Austin's eyes started to water, and just as she turned, dropping the mic and about to flee sprinting up the stairs, Madison sprang into action, practically flying out of her chair and rushing towards Austin with a cry of "Wait!"

Austin paused, looking back at her mother, who dropped to her knees in front of her, pulling her into an embrace. "I don't care if you're my daughter and not my son. You're my child. I love you."

By this point, Eric had joined them, also dropping to his knees and embracing his wife and daughter. "Just what your mom said. You're our kid. Nothing can change that. We love you. No matter what."

Austin looked at them, drying her tears and stifling a sob. "You mean it?"

Emphatic nods from both. Madison spoke. "Listen to me, Aus-" she stopped herself halfway through, glancing at Eric before looking back at their daughter. "Do you ... Is there something else you want to be called? A name you feel okay with?"

Austin nodded, glancing over at Ellie for a moment. "Ellie and I talked a lot about it, and I want to be called Cassie."

Madison nodded. "Listen to me, Cassie. Your father and I love you. No matter what. If you say you're a girl ... Who are we to argue? You know yourself better than we do."

Eric nodded. "Cassie, that's a beautiful name, and I am so proud of my little girl. It can't have been easy doing this. But thank you. Thank you for feeling safe enough to show us who you really are."

Madison looked over at Joan and Ellie. "Come on, you two. This is a family moment, and you're both family."

The camera was set down, and Joan and Ellie joined the group hug.


As the video ended, Adrienne looked at Madison and Eric. "Incredible. Such unhesitating, unconditional love and acceptance. No judgement, no hatred, no disgust. That's ... Commendable. So many parents react negatively. But you two ... You saw how scared and nervous she was, and you immediately reassured her, embraced her, accepted her."

Eric nodded. "Of course. We were her parents. She was our child. And I'd rather have a living, happy daughter than a dead son."

Madison smiled, nodding. "Besides, Cassie was our only child. If we rejected her, if we didn't help her, and if she ended up killing herself because of that ... That was an unacceptable outcome. Eric and I swore that day that we would do everything we could to make sure Cassie stayed happy and grew up to be a happy, confident young woman. We weren't going to be the reason she killed herself. We weren't going to fail her like that."
 
Last edited:
Reader mode
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom