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Not Your Average Teen Pop Star (DarkDreamer9110 x MsBloom)

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It was so hot watching Cassie eat her own cum from her fingers and the way she once again called Ellie Mistress had Ellie shivering. This was going to be a game she would enjoy. Despite the circumstances under which their relationship had changed from BFF to Girlfriends, with Cassie charging in like a knight in shining armour to save Ellie, her damsel in distress, it had slowly evolved into something quite opposite where Ellie was now the dominant one and Cassie the submissive, if indeed those terms really applied. Ellie knew far too little about it except that she truly enjoyed hearing her girlfriend call her Mistress and to hear her beg for permission to cum.

"I'd love to," she said and disappeared from sight on Cassie's screen but soon appeared in the window which she opened all the way.
"We really are being quite naughty," she said in an ironic posh British accent, something she somehow felt was just the voice for talking to her Pet.
 
Cassie chuckled, getting off her bed and meeting Ellie at the window across from her. She wasn't sure how this game of theirs was going to develop, but she did know she enjoyed it. She paused as she considered the very slight weight of the panties, then grabbed a couple of pens and wrapped the panties around them so the weight would make it easier to throw accurately.

She chuckled as Ellie spoke. "Indubitably, Ma'am. Naughty lasses, that's us." She said, her own accent going for a lower class London accent rather than Ellie's posh approach.

When Ellie was ready, Cassie gave her a countdown and tossed them over. She paused for a moment. "Hey, so after school tomorrow I have my therapist appointment. Got a lot to talk about, obviously. Coming out publicly, both as trans and a lesbian. Us getting together. How you've made me ... Start reevaluating my interest in my dick as a sexual organ." She said, dropping the accent as she went into the more serious topic. "And, well, if you want, I'd like it if you went with me."
 
Ellie chuckled at Cassie's rougher British accent and for a brief moment her mind drifted to the play they'd seen as part of their English class, Pygmalion. Just as briefly she imagined Cassie as Eliza and herself as professor Higgins but it passed when Cassie started the countdown to throw the now weighted panties back to her. She caught them just as they were about to hit her and shook the pens out and brought them up to her face, sniffing them. The scent was strong, musky and considering how long ago it was since she left her own contribution to it a bit off, a bit like how she imagined the girls' locker room would smell after soccer practise. This soon had her mind wandering to Adrienne, even if she was on the track team and not the soccer team. Then she flicked her tongue at one of the creamy additions of Cassie's semen, made a face at the unfamiliar taste. It wasn't bad just strong and a bit odd. She was sure it was something she would get used to the more she tasted it. She did smile at Cassie though and winked as she blew her a kiss.

"I'd love to. You think she'll let me though? I mean ... it's your therapy after all and like ... it's supposed to be about you ... and your issues."
 
Cassie smiled at Ellie's indulgence in the scent of the panties, although the face she made caused a brief look of concern on her in turn. But Ellie's smile and the blown kiss alleviated the worry and she returned it.

At Ellie's next question and very understandable concerns about her being welcome in the session, Cassie nodded, smiling brightly. "Babe, listen to me: you're part of my issues now. A very good part. And Sabrina has always said that I'm the one who gets to choose the pace and focus of our therapy sessions. And I think that we need a few sessions to focus on our relationship and how everything fits together. And you deserve and have the right to be involved in that discussion. But even if you just want to sit in on it and not contribute, I want you there so you can at least be aware of what's being discussed. And besides ... I may have already texted and asked her earlier today if you could come. She replied, and I quote, 'Cassie, if you feel comfortable with her coming with you, if you want her to be there for some of our sessions, I will not say no.' End quote. And yes, I do want you there. I want you to be welcome in that part of my life. Besides, considering our ... arrangement with Adrienne, among other parts of our sex life, I feel you have the right to be involved in the discussion about those things. So don't worry about if you should be there. You should be there. It's important to me that you are."

She chuckled. "Anyways, I'm going to head to bed. Need some sleep. I don't know how tomorrow will go at school, so I want to be rested and ready for anything."
 
Much of Cassie's speech spun around Ellie's head as she went to bed. She was part of Cassie's issues now but in a good way. What exactly did it mean? Had Cassie not really expected, or even intended, to fall in love or get involved in an intimate relationship until ... what ... she had gone through her gender confirming surgery and was as much woman as medically possible? Ellie couldn't honestly remember Cassie ever having had a boyfriend, or girlfriend. Perhaps what had happened between them had been unexpected in more ways than one.

Then there was of course the added complexity of the arrangement they had made with Adrienne on top of everything, a third party to their relationship and at such an early stage. Of courses Ellie was excited at the idea of beng intimate with Adrienne but their own relationship wasn't more than a week old. Was that also part of the relationship issues Cassie intended to bring up with her therapist? She knew that Cassie always said that if there was one other person she felt she could talk to about everything as much as she could with Ellie then it was Sabrina, which made her wonder if Cassie had spoken to her therapist about the one thing she had apparently not been able to talk to her about, her romantic feelings towards her BFF. Just how much did Sabrina know already about Ellie and Cassie's feelings towards her.

She woke up late and found it harder to come alive than usual, probably because she had slept a lot less than usual. After having showered and dressed in a purple skirt and a black t-shirt, done her hair into a tight ponytail and her usual subtle make up she grabbed two pancakes and a to go mug of coffee and headed for the Claytons'.
"Mornin'," she muttered but then, invigorated by the sight of the most beautiful girl in the world, she smiled added a kiss to her greeting of Cassie.
 
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Cassie had realized not long after bidding Ellie goodnight that perhaps calling her girlfriend part of her "issues" could have been seen as a negative thing despite the assurance she was a good part of the issues, and had resolved to address it when they met to head to school together.

Standing naked in front of her mirror, she had pulled out her prosthetic vulva/tuck and had been about to get it all set up when she paused, taking a long moment to stare at her body, particularly her crotch, realizing after a few moments that she was admiring the organs there, not reviling them. She glanced at the silicone prosthetic in her hand, and after a few cycles of holding it in front of her genitals and then removing it, comparing the two looks, she started giggling, softly at first, but soon the giggling fit turned into a nearly hysterical cackle that forced her to sit down as the laughter turned to crying in delight.

When she recovered, she smiled as she put the prosthetic away and slipped on a pair of panties, not bothering to tuck completely, but finding a comfortable compromise where it wouldn't be making a particularly obvious bulge. She put on a silver top with a long black skirt, then went about the rest of her routine.

As she headed out to meet Ellie, she smiled, embracing her girlfriend and returning the kiss. After separating, she sighed, then glanced back at Ellie. "I want to explain what I meant last night, about you being part of my issues, and a good part. It's ... I'm a trans lesbian, Ellie. That's a rough deal to market for a relationship, especially pre-GCS. I ... I was basically at a point where I accepted that if you didn't reciprocate my feelings, I was probably going to be alone forever. So it's confusing and different to think I'm romantically entangled with someone, let alone a polyam deal. But not all issues are bad. They're just things that need some processing and adjusting to. An issue can be a good issue." She said. "I'm happy to have you as an issue. Because you make me happy, and you've made me start reevaluating things I was negative towards."

She smiled, leaning in to kiss Ellie again before gently guiding one of her hands to her crotch. "Feel that?" She whispered softly. "I decided I didn't need to tuck or wear the prosthetic today. Because of what you've shown me and done for me."
 
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The kiss combined with a few large sips of coffee soon had Ellie fully awake and as they sat there in the car en route to school she nodded while Cassie explained about her being an issue that needed to be addressed with the therapist. It made sense that it would need some processing considering so many things had changed in Cassie's life almost over night.
"It's ok. I kinda get it, even if it did keep me awake quite a while last night," Ellie assured Cassie and then giggled as Cassie guided her left hand to her crotch. While the bulge could perhaps not be seen through the skirt it could certainly be felt and Ellie was tempted to rub it to make it grow and give her girlfriend an handjob on the way to school. She also imagined, now that it seemed Cassie was starting to re-evaluate her distaste for her sex, what it might feel like inside of her. Perhaps that was still a bit too optimistic and certainly something she was sure Cassie would have to work up towards but between the fact that she had not tucked it into her prosthetic and the way Cassie had stroked herself last night it was obvious her issues with her sex were no longer as strong as they had been in the past.
"That's so hot," Ellie said, not entirely sure it was even remotely appropriate but it was honest.
"And brave," she added and withdrew her hand reluctantly but let it rest on Cassie's thigh.

At school things were different. People looked at them differently and that was something they would have to get used to now that basically everyone knew about them and about Cassie. They met up with Adrienne for lunch but none of them mentioned the talk they had had the day before, not in so many words at least, though Ellie did catch herself looking at the track star and biting her lip.

After school there was just about time for a quick coffee before the therapist's appointment and even though she really did want to be there for Cassie, as support and to help her process the new issues she had to deal with, Ellie was getting nervous.
 
The reassurance that it was okay got a nod from Cassie. "I'm glad you understand." She said.

Cassie cringed almost reflexively as Ellie commented on it being hot that she wasn't hiding her genitals away, expecting a pang of dysphoria at the comment, but to her surprise it didn't come. In fact, she nodded after a moment, a smile slowly crossing her lips. "It kind of is, isn't it? Hot, I mean. To not be hiding it after so long. To accept I am a girl who happens to be bedicked at the moment. And it's all because you accept it."

The school day went by quickly. Cassie was relieved that there seemed to be no drama brewing, in contrast to the violently explosive climate of the previous day. She still got some dirty looks, but apparently the events of the previous day had convinced those who didn't accept her that it was socially smarter and academically safer to keep their opinions to themselves. PE, particularly changing before and after, had been the biggest concern she had, due to the fact hat it meant a greater level of exposure to her untucked state, but to her relief none of the other girls even gave her a second glance during the brief time she was stripped down to her underwear.

As they went for the coffee, Cassie glanced at Ellie. "So, babe, is there anything you'd rather we not talk about with Sabrina at this point? I don't want to bring up something you aren't comfortable with disclosing to her. And since a lot of this concerns you, you have a right to have a say in when we talk about it and what we talk about, okay?"
 
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Ellie nodded.
"Exactly. That confidence and acceptance is what makes it hot," she agreed.
"And to see you stroke for me last night, that was ..."
Ellie tried to find words to describe what it had been but failed, words were Cassie's department.

It was perhaps not entirely true that none of the girls had given Cassie's panty bulge a second glance in the locker room. Ellie had looked but done so discreetly enough that none of the other girls had noticed.

Ellie sipped her coffee and shrugged pensively at Cassie's question.
"We don't have to mention Adrienne right off the bat do we. I mean especially since nothing has actually happened so far."
She took another sip and bit her lip.
"But ... I mean ... do you think it would be ok if we talked a little about me coming out as well and what it might mean to be a lesbian in love with a transfemme? I mean it kinda relates to you reevaluating how you feel about having a penis."
 
Cassie nodded as Ellie suggested maybe not bringing up Adrienne and their arrangement right away. "Yeah. That's not something we need to get into at this point." She agreed. At Ellie's next question, about discussing her own coming out, Cassie gave her a confused look. "Lesbian? I thought you'd said you weren't sure what you were?" She shook her head. "Sorry. That was uncalled for. But yeah, we can definitely talk about that with her."

A pause. "If you're wondering if you can still be a lesbian if your partner is a transfemme who wants to keep her dick, you absolutely can be. Genitals aren't gender." She said, and a moment later her eyes widened as she connected the dots.

"Wait ... Do you mean ... Are you asking if I suddenly want to ... Keep mine?" She said, clearly both surprised and confused. And then another possibility arose, and she looked at Ellie. "Or are you saying you suddenly want me to keep it?" Despite the possibly confrontational wording, Cassie's tone was more honest confusion, and she bit her lip as she waited for a response. She reached over to squeeze Ellie's hand. "Babe, be honest with me. I just want to know what you mean and where this is coming from."
 
Ellie didn't flinch or bat an eye-lash at Cassie questioning what she had said earlier about her orientation but nodded at the apology anyway to let her girlfriend know she had taken no offence. She listened to Cassie while taking bigger and bigger sips of the cooling coffee and kept nodding almost as if she was keeping a beat. It was of course quite true. Genitals weren't gender and that was of course exactly what she had meant. That and the questions Cassie followed up with.
"That's just it," she said.
"I'm not really sure what I want or what I am and part of that is because it's you specifically I've fallen in love with and I mean I know you're getting rid of it as soon as they give you the go ahead to have your surgery and stuff but still. It's there and ... hmmm ... must be considered part of the equation."
Ellie kept nodding to herself as she was now starting to see more clearly how she was a part of Cassie's issues.
"I mean ... I love you babe. I do, with all my heart and maybe I did even before I knew I did, but ..."
She bit her bottom lip and looked out the window, away from Cassie, for a moment as if it was hard for her to say what she was thinking at look at Cassie at the same time.
"Maybe that is part of it. Like, especially after last night, I think part of me wonder if you want to keep it but I also think I would want you to be ... y'know ... my first, if perhaps only, time. You can't blame a girl for being curious now can you."
It was suddenly perfectly clear to her that the two of them would need some sort of preemptive couple's counselling.
 
It was Cassie's turn to listen and nod in understanding as Ellie spoke. Her expression turned to surprise as Ellie mentioned thinking about wanting Cassie to be her first, and possibly only, time being fucked by an actual dick. She squeezed Ellie's hand again, smiling warmly.

"Ellie, I ... You're not the only one who's confused right now. I mean ... I'm not sure about keeping it indefinitely, but I am starting to wonder if I might want to push back the GCS. Because I kind of want to have more time to explore this new territory. Using it for intimacy stuff, I mean."

She sighed. "We can definitely talk to Sabrina about it, and I think we might need to see about couples counseling, just to try to get ahead of something turning into a problem. I mean, there are reasons Sabrina wouldn't be able to do that for us, medical ethics, conflict of interest and the like, but we can definitely see if she can recommend someone for us." She assured Ellie.
 
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Ellie had been nervous that Cassie would get upset about her confession about wanting to feel it inside her at least once and sighed with relief as Cassie admitted that she was no longer sure about having the GCS as soon as she turned 18 and was given the green light. It was surprising to hear her say it but it did make Ellie's heart rate slow down a little. They were treading treacherous ground between the two of them with regards to Cassie's undesired body part, or perhaps not so undesired as it had been in the past. She had after all refrained from tucking that morning and that almost never happened. Maybe on weekends when she'd spent the night at Ellie's and they'd been working on their music all day and she didn't have to meet anyone else, except maybe Ellie's mum.

"I've got a few ideas or some experimental intimacy you could try," Ellie said with a wink to lighten the mood a bit.
"And I'd be more than happy to help you."
She started giggling and then bit her bottom lip again though not nervously but seductively.
 
Cassie smirked as Ellie mentioned having some ideas for experimenting. "We can definitely try those out." She agreed, checking the time. "Okay, babe, we need to get going." She said, finishing her coffee and standing up.

A short car ride later, they arrived, and not long after Cassie signed in, they were called back into Sabrina's office.

Sabrina was a woman in about her late thirties, with black hair tied back in a ponytail and dark green eyes, with lightly tanned skin, wearing a white blouse and black skirt. As the duo entered her office, she smiled, walking over to greet them. "Hi, Cassie." She said.

Cassie smiled back. "Hey, Sabrina. This is Ellie."

Sabrina nodded, extending a hand. "Well, Ellie, it's good to finally meet you. Cassie has talked a lot about you." She glanced at Cassie, who nodded.

"You have my permission to discuss anything we've talked about with her." Cassie confirmed. "She's my girlfriend and I don't want to keep her in the dark about this part of my life."

Sabrina nodded again. "Please, have a seat, you two." She said.

As the girls settled in, Sabrina nodded. "So, Cassie, a lot has happened since our last session. You came out publicly and you got a girlfriend, among ... other things. That is a lot to deal with, especially with how much happened in a matter of hours yesterday. Do you want to discuss any of it?"

Cassie sighed. "I mean, I nearly got my skull bashed in by a guy who already had reason to hate me even before he learned I was trans. I had anticipated some form of hostility at school from a few people, but I never imagined someone would try something so brazen and so public." She said. "I was fucking terrified. The look in his eyes, the rage, the hatred, the bloodlust. I genuinely think he wanted to kill me. It was ... If I hadn't managed to hit him where it hurts ... I might not be alive today."

She shuddered. "But I managed to fight back and escape with just some bruised shoulders. I just ... Whenever the trial finally starts, I'm going to have to face him again. And that ..." She trailed off, once again shuddering.

Sabrina nodded. "We don't have to talk about that incident anymore right now if you aren't ready. So, I saw the videos from yesterday. Would you like to talk about those and what it was like to have your voice centered on, as well as the responses?"

Cassie nodded. "I mean ... How could I not stand up and speak about it? I was out, and I was being offered a chance to speak about the issues trans people face. I could make a difference. And I did. It was ... It was amazing to see how positive the response was. And then after that, well, it seemed people were itching for a fight. So yeah, I called them out. I shamed them. Because they deserved to be. And it worked."

Sabrina nodded. "I'm very proud of you, and I hope you're proud of yourself."

Cassie nodded. "I am. But anyways, that's stuff we can talk more about later. Right now, Ellie and I have some stuff we've both realized we need to talk about. Sex and relationship stuff. If that's okay."

Sabrina nodded. "I'm listening."

Cassie nudged Ellie. "You want to start us off, babe?"
 
The closer they got to the therapy session the more nervous Ellie got. The things she wanted to bring up were things she had never really talked to anyone about before, except for Cassie, and maybe to some extent her mum. In the waiting room, furnished in a rather homely fashion, with an oxblood leather couch a small teak coffee table and soft lighting. There were a few magazines of varying subjects spread on the coffee table and the receptionist even asked if they wanted coffee, freshly brewed but they had both declined since they'd just had coffee. Ellie did ask for some water though because her throat was dry. Having downed the glass in a few big mouthfuls she suddenly needed to pee and almost missed them being called into Sabrina's office.

She smiled nervously as she was being introduced to and greeted by Sabrina. This was a woman who already knew things about her that she didn't know what they were, who had probably known for quite a while that Cassie had had a crush on her for some time before everything just happened like a landslide in a whirlwind. As they sat down on the couch side by side Ellie took Cassie's hand for support and listened to the initial conversation between the two of them which confirmed that Cassie must have had contact with her therapist by phone as well.

And then the focus was on her, to start talking about what they had touched on in the car and Ellie bit her lip looking first at Cassie and then at Sabrina.
"Well ... I suppose we might as well start with the elephant in the room," she said, nodding to herself.
"As long as I've known Cassie she's never been comfortable with her ... boy parts ... and it's not something I've ever really thought about, until ... well ... y'know ... we grew beyond just being BFFs. I've never really even considered I might be attracted to girls before and now ... well ... now I have a girlfriend ... with boy parts to boot and ..."
She looked at Cassie as if asking permission to reveal what had happened between them last night and what they had talked about that morning.

"Last night we played around a little on cam and I dunno Cassie wasn't as awkward about her ... penis, and touching it ... as she normally is."
Ellie who normally wasn't shy blushed as she continued to talk about what that had led to and her questioning herself about whether it was Cassie's penis that had enabled her to fall in love with her BFF the way she had.
"Like, she's the only girl I've ever really been attracted to and what does that make me? A lesbian, bi ... curious ..." and then she just stopped mid sentence and looked at Cassie again.
 
Cassie had taken Ellie's hand and squeezed as she spoke, giving her an encouraging nod.

Sabrina arched an eyebrow up in surprise as Ellie mentioned that Cassie hadn't been as awkward about her penis, glancing at Cassie, who just shrugged and nodded.

As Ellie finished, Sabrina nodded. "First, Ellie, please don't downplay dysphoria by calling it and equating it to something as trivial as awkwardness. Especially not with someone who tends to experience it as strongly as Cassie does." She said gently.

"Secondly, it seems that you're worried you're actually heterosexual, even if you're homoromantic. Would that be accurate? Because romantic and sexual attraction are different things. And you're concerned that Cassie not having a penis after her GCS will affect your attraction to her." She said.

"Now, let me ask you some questions. Take your time to answer them. I want you to think carefully. First, when you and Cassie got together ... Did you initially desire for her to perform sexually as a male? Did you want to be penetrated by her penis? Was that a driving desire in your first intimate night together?" She asked.

"And secondly ... What does it change if you are a lesbian or bi or anything else? Again, sexual and emotional interest are not synonymous. Do you love Cassie? I am not asking about if you find her physically or sexually attractive. I'm asking about your emotional relationship to her. Plenty of couples can overcome sexual preference incompatibility simply because their emotional relationship is stronger and sex is either not necessary or the emotional connection allows them to override their usual preferences. Or, in some cases, they do not demand sexual exclusivity in the relationship and are allowed to pursue casual safe sex with a variety of partners of their preference. Sometimes it's even a polyamorous relationship. My point is, there are plenty of ways you and Cassie could have a fulfilling relationship even if you aren't sexually interested in each other."

Cassie smiled, pulling Ellie close. "See, babe, we can find ways to make it work. I think you're worth the effort."
 
Ellie looked over at Cassie nodding. She wasn't trying to belittle her girlfriend's feelings about her boy by trivialising her dysphoria. She never had and never would. Cassie at least, she hoped, knew this. She knew how serious Cassie's dysphoria were, or had been, or still was even if she had perhaps begun to handle it in a different way. It had been a bad choice of word though. For this she felt bad and apologised to Cassie looking deep into her eyes to try to see if she had been hurt by Ellie's choice of word. There was nothing she wanted less than to hurt Cassie in ways similar to all those not accepting trans-people for who they were.

She heard Sabrina's analysis of her own issues with sexuality and orientation and nodded. Most of it was stuff she sort of knew already but there is a difference in what you know and what you feel. In Ellie's case it had more to do with the discovery of her attraction to girls having been quite sudden. It hadn't even been over night. It had been one very emotional kiss that turned her and that was really what was confusing her. She was careful not to use the phrase turned her but rather awakened her, emotionally and sexually, one kiss and she had suddenly seen her BFF since early childhood with totally different eyes, seen how beautiful she was and fallen in love, one kiss that had set her on an emotional roller coaster. She was right though. On some level Ellie was worrying that perhaps her romantic feelings and sexual attraction towards Cassie would change once she had gone through the last stages of her transformation.

The first question Sabrina asked was a lot more difficult to answer, especially since she knew that the wrong answer might actually hurt Cassie even though she had already hinted at it in the car. Cassie hadn't really said anything about it though but Ellie was sure she had been thinking about it all day, one way or another. The real question though was whether that desire had been present that first night. Remembering the shower they had taken together after coming back to Ellie's after the dance, how she had tried to think of ways to stimulate Cassie sexually without touching the penis, how she had suggested that Cassie should take the lead. Had the desire to do so been there in Ellie then? It didn't feel like it had mattered, not when she thought back on it, not unless you would count the idea of grinding against it without penetration to simulate how two women might make love to each other.

She also remembered that there had been a desire for Cassie to fill her pussy that night as they explored each other in the shower but also that, even though she had hoped for a cock at the start of the evening she would have been more than satisfied with fingers, or perhaps another suitable object like a brush handle or even a candle. The desire for a penis had been there but not for Cassie's, or had it. Had fingers, brush handle and candle all just been compromises for what she had truly desired, for Cassie to fuck her. Perhaps but she didn't find it likely.

It was as Cassie had said the next day after they'd made their coming out video. She had never seen Cassie as anything but a girl, totally regardless of her having a penis. Cassie had never been a boy to Ellie. She still wasn't even if after last night's display she now wanted Cassie to fuck her at least once. In parts it was to just get it over with, to lose her virginity in the traditional way without having to cheat on her girlfriend which seemed unnecessary since her girlfriend did have the necessary equipment for it. Perhaps the desire for Cassie to use her penis to penetrate her was of a more practical nature to satisfy a curiousity than it was an actual desire. Would it be that much different if Ellie experimented with a boy than if she experimented with Adrienne? Perhaps, perhaps not.

She also remember that it had been Cassie who had taken the initiative and allowed Ellie to touch the object of her dysphoria, even saying it didn't feel as bad when it was Ellie touching it, that it had felt good because it was her touching it and that it had meant a lot to her that Ellie could make her feel ok with having it touched in a sexual way. It was true that in those moments of intimacy she had enjoyed the feeling of it getting hard under her touch and she had looked at it with lust and desire, and there had been a slip up on Ellie's part when she had run her tongue along it and wrapped her lips around the very to, not really taking it into her mouth just a very deep kiss, and even if her intentions had only been to lick and suck it in the same way one might lick a clit it had made Cassie tell her to stop. It had been one step too far. Had she been disappointed by Cassie telling her to stop stimulating the penis? She couldn't really say that she had been. There had been a moment of miscommunication between them and once that was straightened out Ellie had been quite content to just rub it the way she enjoyed rubbing herself, even if of course it was worlds apart.

"No," she said and looked from Cassie to Sabrina.
"I mean I touched it and even used my tongue and lips on it but not as if to give her a blow job or anything, more treating it like I would treat a clitoris," she elaborated and then added that Cassie had said it was ok for her to touch it before she had done anything at all with it.
"There was a bit of miscommunication though but I can't say I was disappointed when she told me to stop what I was doing."
She tried her best to sound as confident as possible but she was still nervous about what Sabrina would make of what she had said.

The second question was both easy to answer and not. She stated clearly and confidently that she did love Cassie, that she had always loved Cassie but that the love she felt for her had changed after their first kiss. It was a deeper love. She added that regardless of everything the physical attraction she now felt towards Cassie, the desire to kiss her, to touch her, to hold her close, it was all part of that deeper love she now felt for Cassie and also that her love for Cassie was not in any way depending on whether she was lesbian, bi, or even straight but homoromantic. That was in almost every way a different issue and one that probably came from the rather sudden discovery of her attraction to girls. At this point she also admitted that since she and Cassie had become girlfriends there was at least one other girl who had caught her eye. She felt this to be a safe admission after Sabrina had explained that there were couples to whom exclusivity was not an absolute requirement. She was of course aware of polyamoury, or at least the idea of it, and also realised that it was perhaps the path she and Cassie were already on with Adrienne, not that that in any way would satisfy Ellie's curiousity to feel a real cock inside her at least once. It would allow her to experiment with and actual pussy though and explore that newly discovered part of her sexuality.

With Sabrina already having mentioned polyamoury Ellie now leaned in close to Cassie and whispered into her ear: "Think we should maybe mention Adrienne anyway?"
 
Cassie had smiled, nodded, and accepted the apology, giving Ellie a warm hug and a kiss as she assured her it wasn't taken too negatively, adding that she had been awkward in how she addressed the issues of her penis.

Sabrina nodded as Ellie explained the details of her intimacy with Cassie. "Well, I'm glad you two were able to get past the miscommunication. And, Ellie, it sounds to me like you have been nothing but respectful and sensitive of Cassie's needs and feelings, for which I applaud you. I don't think it sounds like you only want Cassie for her penis. It might be something you see as a bonus, but I certainly don't believe it will make or break your relationship. Now, Cassie. How do you feel about this?"

Cassie had been about to whisper back to Ellie when Sabrina addressed her, and shifted to look at her, then took a deep breath and let it out. "I ... I never saw myself being in a sexual relationship until after my vaginoplasty. I just ... It never felt like someone could accept me having one. And Ellie, the way she played with it, she never treated it like a problem. It made me feel like she accepted me, warts and all. I mean ... Especially after last night, I ...I didn't tuck today. I started to, but ... Looking at myself in the mirror, it felt like part of me. Not like an eyesore, not an imperfection I wanted gone. But a part of me that was okay. And ... I don't know if I could do it just at this point, but ... I do think I would be open to actually using it sexually, at least once. And not with anyone besides Ellie. Using my penis for sexual pleasure, it's something ... I want to explore. I guess ... Like, I want to at least know what it's like to have it as a part of our sex life as a penis before I get rid of it. I mean, Ellie seems to like it. And I kinda do, too, I guess. At least, at the moment."

Sabrina nodded. "Interesting. Now, do you think the fact that Ellie likes it affect why you like it?"

Cassie paused, glancing at Ellie. Did it? But Ellie had not made the first move about it. Cassie had. She shrugged. "I made the overture that she could play with it. I didn't know if she'd like it. But ... I felt safe exploring it with her. Do I like that she likes it? Yes. But I think it's that I love her and I feel safe with her that is why I like it. She makes it feel okay."

She glanced at Ellie, nodding. "So, the girl Ellie mentioned who caught her eye ... Ellie and I already discussed that I didn't want to inhibit her sexual exploration. And I may have a voyeurism and cuckolding fetish. So ..." She blushed, trailing off and then nudging Ellie.
 
"We kinda talked to Adrienne, that's her name, about it last night. It was a bit sudden and rather ... improvised. She's the one who stood up for us, who almost acted like a body guard of sorts for us at school ... but that's not the point. I think we both kind of like her and I have a feeling she kind of likes both of us as well. At least that's the feeling I got from her last night."
Ellie wasn't entirely sure what else to say. It seemed to her that all the cuckold stuff would be better coming from Cassie as it was her idea and her turn on.
 
Cassie nodded as Ellie spoke. "Yeah. And so, well, we were probably gonna give things a shot in like a couple of weeks. Adrienne's a lesbian, see. And I felt Ellie should have the freedom to explore her sexual interest in the ... Naturally vagina-bearing."

Sabrina looked at each girl in turn, from Ellie to Cassie, then thought for a second. "So, Cassie, you mentioned a fetish for voyeurism and cuckolding. So you want to watch Ellie have sex with another partner?"

Cassie nodded. "Yeah, I do. But, like, I also want, well, I think I might be a submissive. Ellie and I have kinda played with D/s stuff a couple of times and I just feel more natural taking the submissive role. So, like, I want to be ... Treated as an inferior choice of partner, that I'm less desirable than Adrienne because she's hotter, more experienced, just overall better than me. And also ..." She trailed off, biting her lip nervously and blushing as she squeezed Ellie's hand, taking several deep breaths. "Ikindofwanttheretobesometransphobicplay." She said, the words rushing out like she was trying to cram them into a single syllable.

Sabrina stared for a moment, frowning. "Cassie, I did not understand a word of that. I can tell you must feel it's embarrassing, shameful, or wrong, or you wouldn't have tried to rush it out so fast, but remember, this is a safe space. Nothing you say here is going to be belittled or laughed at, nobody will call you a freak or weird or wrong, nobody will think lesser of you. I am here to help you, Cassie, and to do that you need to be open and honest. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. But it seems relevant to the matter at hand, and the more I know about that, the better I can help you with it."

Cassie sighed. "Sorry. Yeah, you're right. It's ... I want there to be transphobic play. When Ellie and Adrienne ... Do it."

Sabrina raised an eyebrow, eyes widened. "Well, Cassie, that was ... Unexpected. But many people have fetishes because they're considered taboo. So I can understand the interest, at least in terms of where the desire comes from. Have you discussed this with Ellie and Adrienne?"

Cassie nodded. "Last night. And we all know it's a very sensitive area to explore. We talked about it. We're going to be using the red/yellow/green safe word system, and any of us can use one if we need to. Then we're going to do a debrief afterwards, talk about it. And we all know this first time, at least, is just to experiment, to see if I really like it in actual play and if they're okay with it as well. If it's not something we all feel we can do, we're going to drop it."

Sabrina nodded. "That was a very mature way to handle it, and the sort of thing I would have recommended. So, Ellie, what are your thoughts on that?"
 
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"I dunno really," Ellie confessed.
"It's all very new but so exciting. Like last night when Cassie called me Mistress and I called her Pet. It was such a turn on. I had never imagined that a single word and the meaning behind it would have such a profound physically arousing effect on me."
She held on to Cassie's hand for support. It was rather embarrassing to talk about these things as openly as they were, and with a stranger no less. Though if she was honest it would probably have been even more embarrassing had it been someone she knew.

"About the whole transphobic fetish thing ..."
She looked at Cassie with a hesitant smile.
"I think the whole red/yellow/green thing is as much for me as it is for her, perhaps more."
It was one thing to take a dominant role in their physical relationship, or even to have Cassie watch as she had sex with Adrienne, but a completely different one to degrade and humiliate the one she loved more than anything for being what ... not a real girl ..?

She then looked back at Sabrina with a serious face.
"I dunno but I'm afraid it might trigger her dysphoria and make it worse than it has ever been before," she said knowing fully well how bad Cassie's dysphoria had been from time to time.
 
Cassie nodded as Ellie brought up her belief that the safe word system was as much for her as Cassie. "It's for all three of us." She confirmed.

As Ellie finished, Cassie turned to look at her, taking both her hands and locking eyes with her. "Ellie. Look at me. Stay quiet and listen to me. Really listen. Hear what I'm saying. I know that I am asking for something that is entirely antithetical to your beliefs and feelings. I know that it means putting myself in an extremely vulnerable position. But I would never have even asked this of you if I did not already trust you absolutely. I feel I need to explore that stuff, my feelings about it. But all it is is experimenting at this point. I promise you, if I feel uncomfortable enough that I have to use the safewords to end the scene or pause it, I will use it the second I no longer feel safe. And you and Adrienne are just as free to use them as I am; my comfort is not the only one that matters. If you or Adrienne are no longer okay with it, you have just as much right to invoke the safewords. And even if we all get through it, if we decide in the post-aftercare debriefing that even one of us really isn't comfortable doing it again, that will be that. It never has to come up again and I'll let you and Adrienne do any future stuff without that. Although I still would like to watch."

By this point, her voice had grown into a soft, urgent, vulnerable plea, tears glistening in her eyes. "I know you will keep me safe. I know that it seems like I am asking for something horrific. But I know you, Ellie. I know you could never mean anything you're going to say. But I need to explore this, at least once. I am asking you to trust me that I have considered the risks. And I find that I am comfortable taking those risks with you and Adrienne because I know you especially will be on guard for any problems. I know you want to keep me safe. I trust you with my life, Ellie. That is why I am asking this of you. I love you and I need it to be you I explore this area with. I could never trust anyone else, any other person, as much as I trust you. I know you will be extra vigilant about warning signs of discomfort. I trust that if you no longer feel comfortable for any reason, even if out of concern for me, you will use the safewords. Do you understand? I trust you because I know you'd never try to hurt me. I trust you because you're so worried about hurting me. So I know you won't. And if anything does ... Trigger me, I know you and Adrienne will stop the scene and make sure I'm okay."

She reached up to set a hand on Ellie's heart. "Ellie, if I were even slightly unsure of my belief that you would never use those things against me, that you would never use them in anger towards me, that you could never mean them in your heart, I would not have ever asked this of you. I know we will all be as careful and cautious as we can. I have a list already for "slurs that are okay or that I want you two to try out on me" vs "do not fucking use these/preemptive red light slurs." So that way you will at least know some hard boundaries going in. I hope that helps. Less uncertainty means one less avenue for things to go badly."
 
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Ellie looked into Cassie's eyes as her girlfriend began another of her speeches which Ellie just loved. Cassie had always had a way with words that sometimes baffled Ellie. She nodded occasionally and taking in the assurances that there was an almost absolute trust from Cassie that Ellie would never consciously hurt her and and absolute need in Cassie for it to happen, at least once. It was something she needed to experiment with, needed to experience, as part of exploring her submissive side and perhaps her sexuality as well and perhaps for Ellie to also explore her newly found role as the dominant as well as her sexuality. At the end of the speech she just nodded and a smile spread on her face before she glanced over at Sabrina and then took Cassie's face between her hands, refocusing her eyes on those beautiful eyes and kissed her.
"You are the best thing to ever happen to me Cassie and I don't know what I would do without you. I love you so much."
 
Cassie's tears brimmed over at Ellie's positive reaction, and as they kissed and Ellie explained how much Cassie meant to her, she started laughing and crying in joy, slowly regaining her composure after a minute, just hugging Ellie and clinging to her as she recovered.

Finally, she locked eyes with Ellie, their faces close, as she leaned in to press her forehead against Ellie's, clasping her hands and squeezing gently as three words came out of her mouth. The three words that had the most meaning for the two girls.

"Funhouse Sweethearts forever."

The soft murmur of the words was more than a reassurance of love, a reaffirmation of their bond; it was a promise now more than ever, a point of commitment from Cassie. She was Ellie's as long as Ellie wanted her.

Sabrina, who had smiled and nodded when Ellie had glanced at her, watched the two girls' strange intimate ritual play out, nodding and chuckling as it finished. "I see you girls definitely had a moment there, and it looks like you resolved the concerns. So, do either of you want to talk about that? That seemed pretty emotionally intense for you both."
 
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For a moment, a seemingly endless moment, there was nothing but them, from the moment their lips touched to them looking into each others' eyes after Cassie had initiated their band ritual, which now took on a whole new meaning to Ellie, and probably to Cassie as well. It was now also a declaration of intimacy, a commitment to always be by each others' side, through thick and thin, for better and worse.
"Funhouse Sweethearts forever," Ellie whispered back and let her hand slip around the back of Cassie's neck, touching the tip of her fingers, one by one against the sensitive spot at the bas of the skull before letting the hand gently come to rest there. It was almost as if she was doing a count in, finely adjusting the two of them to one tuning. She almost kissed Cassie again but didn't as she slowly became aware of Sabrina's presence again.

She bit her lip and turned her eyes from Cassie's and nodded.
"It's a ritual we do whenever we perform live with our band. It has always signified a closeness between us, a bond as well as a promise to always be by each others' side, us against the world if it should come to that and now ... I feel like it means more than that."
She glanced over at Cassie to see if she agreed.
 
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