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Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc.

RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

Just... wow. I'm amazed at the delusions some people seriously and vehemently believe....
*hugs*
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

Yup. Most of this happened over Facebook chat and so he blocked me. I called him to tell him he was such an adult for doing so and that he and his ex-wife both sucked. He called me back, I deleted his message and told him not to call me if he was gonna be a pussy about shit like this and he told me to lose his number. Yay! I have awesome friends.
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

-hugs-

This guy is a stupid-head and not worth your time or concern at all. That is all.

Also, he can sod off. That too.
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

Lets not mention that he didn't bother trying to contact me at all after he got married and that I had to track him down. BUT NO! I'm horribles cause I can be unbiased in a situation that doesn't involve me when someone bitches and moans that the other person is to blame! I mean, really! His marriage failing isn't some of his fault at all. Nope.

And yes, he's a stupid stupid head.
 
Sometimes I really don't mind cooking as long as I can leave it in the oven or cooker until it's ready. Otherwise, I can't stand there for long before I get super annoyed and aggravated with it. My tummy is hungry when it's hungry!

Making a combo lunch today. A small romaine salad with taco shell bits, bacon, and baked chicken. <3

If only I could have some cookies or chips to go with it. Oh well. <.<
 
So today I decided to do something I should have done awhile ago but wasn't sure if I should or not because I was worried about being accepted.

I applied to volunteer at the NE Aquarium in Boston. A lot of people apply to those positions so when I was first into the biology field, I felt like I didn't have enough classes under my belt to apply. So now I have applied. I honestly hope more than anything to get the position and then get an internship or even a job working there. I really do hope so.

I don't want to work with the penguins or seals. I want to work with the tropical fish, rays, turtles, and most of all, the sharks that are in the Giant Ocean Tank exhibit. I have a couple of things I have to get done in order to intern/work there, like get a diving certificate, but I'm willing to do that. I have plenty of time before I can start volunteering [if they accept my application].

I'm crossing my fingers on this one. I honestly want to be able to be in that tank and watch the sharks casually swim by and be able to touch and feed them. It would probably make me cry. They are honestly the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen, and the most graceful in the water.

I really hope I get this volunteer position. It would mean the world to me.
 
At least my dad finally gave up the whole "I want you to be in the military" bit. He wants to see if I can get a job working for the navy out in cali. I decided not to decline him and just let him do what he wants with that. It would be interesting to do a comparison between handling sharks and handling dolphins. Though I wouldn't be super happy, to be honest. Still, it's nice of him to consider something like that without actually shoving it at me like he he has done in the past. We'll just wait and see on that.

I already know that if I could manage to score a job at the aquarium, I wouldn't give it up for anything [except maybe my boys and see if I could get transferred to a different aquarium]. However, if I do get the volunteer position, going into Boston will suck. I'll have to be sure that I take better care of my car since traveling into the city blows. I'll also have to practice patience. Which is hard to do when driving.

My muse has been tired just like me lately. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it. I think I ran myself into the ground again RP wise and since my dragon RP was on hold for so long, my muse is barely awake for that one. And with more tests/work/life on the way, I'm not sure when I'll get back into replying to my other partners. I will try to do that next weekend or something.

Also I'm gonna get piercings this upcoming Friday since it's buy one get one free at the piercing shop. I think when I don't have to rely on either of my parents to any sort of degree, I'll get my snake bites and make sure I can hide them when I'm at work and such depending on my job's policy. I also need to save up to get more tattoos.

But most of all, I want to save up some money to visit my loves. Hopefully that can happen sometime in the next few months.
 
If you want to take a break on our Dragon one to give your brain a rest, that's cool. I know how it can get sometimes. Just let me know.

The bit about the aquarium is cool and exciting! I hope you get accepted as a volunteer. <3
 
I find myself extremely enamored with adorable things. I got a Raichu plushy as an early birthday present [last year got a Reptar] and will be getting a reptar sweatshirt [maybe]. Does it make me a little kid? More than likely. I guess because of how much I have to take care of myself, I didn't really get to enjoy being a kid. There were too many factors that made me actually hate being a child. It wasn't all bad, though. I can say that with honesty.

However, I think I lost some of my childhood just because I knew that I needed to grow up much faster than normal. I've never been one to party all the time. I've never wanted to get drunk all the time. I never had to urge to get out and just have sex with people for the hell of it. I never went out and ended up driving way too fast. The only thing I wanted was to be able to stay out as late as I wanted or to drive wherever I felt like. I didn't want to blow my money on things I didn't need or didn't actually want.

I guess that can also mean I never really took any risks, at least not like most normal teenagers did. I stayed at home a lot because it was easier even if half the time my mother worried I was staying in too much. [Then when I got a boyfriend and was out 24/7 she bitched about that]. I guess I just like the convenience of being in my own space and not having to go out to interact with people I actually like. I find myself quite content most of the time with just listening to some music while IMing people and curling up with a good book.

I'm probably pretty weird for someone my age who should want to just go out and have fun all the time, but I find quiet fun can be just as good as loud obnoxious fun. -shrugs- Also, going out to bars isn't really my "scene" either. Lets just say Saturday really sucked.
 
Every one is cut from a different cloth so to speak and you are who you are. Kudos to you for having a good understanding of that AND being comfortable with it most of the time.
 
So my grandfather has been unwell, as some of you know. But now I have found out that his life can be measured in weeks/days. He was having small seizures a few days ago...and now they are just trying to keep him comfortable...

Right now I'm not even sure he's gonna be alive next week...

I don't know. I really don't know.
 
So I went to the hospital yesterday to see my grandfather and I have to say, I still hate hospitals. At least it was easier being there because my family was there with me and kept my mind off what kind of ghosts roamed the halls or the boxed in feeling I get from being in there.

I could barely look at him. He looked so tired and fragile that I thought if I looked too long he'd just suddenly break. The only comfort I had was that he looked cozy and settled. All I could think of was the promise he had made me when I was little. I've known for a long time now that he wasn't going to be able to walk me down the aisle when I decided to get married. But seeing it staring you in the face makes you realize that you still had the one little bead of hope that maybe maybe something might change. And then that wave of crippling disappointment washes over you when you figure out that having that hope was pointless.

I think it also tears my heart up that he won't see any of the rest of us get married or see any of his great-grand children since he doesn't have any yet. What's worse? Even if he was fine, he wouldn't remember anyways. But the best thing would be? That we would.

I guess I'll be that weird mom who gives her son two middle names, but that's just how I am. I lost my other grandfather when I was ten and it really stuck with me because he was so kind and wonderful. And now my other grandfather is going to leave this world and it just makes me realize that there was so much we should have done together and never got to do because he was sick and losing all his memories.

I take solace in one thing: He never ever forgot my grandmother and how much he loves her.

And I know he's not gone yet, but it's turned into days. I feel it in my chest that he's not going to live out until next week and I just...

I just wish I could hear him say one more time that he loves me and my mother.
 
You know, with Halloween coming up, it makes me think of last year when I was still living with my ex-roommate. It sucked hardcore. We got into so many fights, had so many problems, and the bastard stole from me and didn't pay the landlord like he was supposed to. And of course, the fight last year was the night before Halloween and it was so explosive that I almost punched him in the face. I literally saw red and I had never been so mad in my entire life- not even when I was a hair-trigger away from ripping someone a new one every damn day at school.

Thinking about it now just makes me shake my head. I still can't believe that he reduced almost 7 years into nothingness because he was selfish, drunk, and spiteful. And above all, a completely spoiled brat that was too big of an asshole to admit that he was actually stealing money from me and couldn't handle any responsibility.

What the fuck ever. This Halloween is gonna rock.
 
Yes. It will.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAXMtUCcp7o This.

I want this. So badly.

Btws, I love the random drive bys and the kid who runs out of the house.
 
Going to bed early. Feeling like shit and just awful. This is why I don't study. Gonna eat some bread or something to calm my stomach and if my headache gets worse - take something for that. Hopefully I'll get some decent sleep.
 
So my friend and I went to check out an apartment and I really like it. Mum says to keep looking around so I shall do as she asks instead of just jumping at this offer. However, I know the listing won't be around for much longer so there is that to think of. Hopefully will be set for when my lease is up this weekend or so. Crossing my fingers here.

Today seems like one of those days when I smile in amusement. I've been accused of many things over the years, but it never ceases to amaze me that it comes from people who claimed to know so much about me. And then when it comes to actually figuring out how much they know - they come up short.

If I want you to know something, I'll let you know. Otherwise, you'll never know about it. Maybe you'll get hints or whispers, but never anything solid. Funniest thing? People never actually say to my face what their speculations are. Most people anyways. Most people are far off the mark. I do have to say to those I have let in - I haven't let you in very far. It's really nothing against you - you are good people - but you know what I'm like in a sense. I'm closed off, distant, and at times apathetic and cynical.

But you know you still love, even if you hate some of the shit I do. But that's what it means to be friends and lovers - to accept the flaws with the qualities you love. Not picking and choosing. So I guess that's my reflection of the day. Just because it seems like someone has changed, maybe it shows that you never really knew that person to begin with. Or maybe they are showing you what they are really like - whether YOU like it or not.
 
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