Patreon LogoYour support makes Blue Moon possible (Patreon)

Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc.

RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

Today, the weather is a bit crappy. It's humid yet cool and damp. It's an odd combination of conditions. However, I'm a grand mood. <3

I find that instead of instantly getting mad or even relatively upset, I become morbidly amused. I love being me and I love the people I have in my life that I actually give a damn about. <3

Love, love, love~
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

I always find it interesting when people seem to assume that they know me. I find it very amusing when they dredge up these assumptions from moments where I was goofing off or perhaps in an argument with someone. When these assumptions are made, it seems that they stick like glue. It doesn't matter that I disprove their preconceived misconceptions for they decide to be biased for whatever reason. Maybe perhaps one thing I said struck a nerve and they refuse to let it go. Perhaps they just can't take the way I dish out my criticisms of their character. Or they just don't like me because I am who I am.

I'm a scientist in that I tend to do things for the reaction and end result. I don't do it with the mind set of, "Well, this will most certainly bother them!" I'm not a demon out to destroy. I just happen to be a wolf amongst the sheep and get a bad reputation for showing my teeth. I find myself getting more and more amused with the way people speak about me. It really makes me snicker. It means, in most cases, that whether it was intentional or not, I've left a brand on them. An imprint, if you will. It means that somewhere, I'll be remembered, for good or bad reasons that will depend on the person. It just makes me laugh. Unless you actually mean something to me and something about you makes me think of you positively or with some regard, I'll forget you. Now, it's not to be cruel, it's just fact. If you mean nothing to me, you'll equal just that: nothing. Nothing times nothing is still nothing.

Now that all the indepth reflection is done, it's the weekend!
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

I find I'm getting more and more turned on by people getting face-fucked, more or less, by dominant characters, and the submissive/bottom being a wanton slut about it.

Jebus. I should get a strap-on. Or just do more face-fucking in my RPs. Either way, it's an interesting development. Maybe it's because it can be so raw and vulgar. It wouldn't surprise me if that was the case. Or maybe it's because I never enjoyed giving/getting oral and it's a clear indication that some people enjoy it immensely. I have no idea.

But it is pretty hot.

It also makes me wish I had a penis. Sigh. Strap-on will have to do when I can afford it.
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

I feel like maybe I need to elaborate more on why people who are cowards amuse me.

For one: They can't say to my face how exactly they feel.
Two: They talk behind my back.
Three: They try to ruin my reputation.
Four: They go to my friends and say all this.

Honestly, as much as I can be standoffish, I'm an open book when it comes to someone's character. If I honestly DO NOT like you, I will say as much - especially if asked about it. I will tell you what I don't like, what you should improve, and how your attitude/demeanor effects those around you.

Sorry, but I'm not your mother, I won't spare your precious little feelings when telling you all this. I'm harsh and as abrupt and blunt as a heart attack and knife to the ribs. I will be that shock to your system that you weren't expecting.

I'm not God or whatever deity you believe in. I'm not here to judge you. However, I won't let you waltz all over me or my friends. I did that once - long ago- and it formulated and molded the person that I am today. You want to insult me? Go ahead. I'll laugh it back in your face. Call me a bitch, call me an immature brat, I don't care.

However, my friends/family are another story. The minute you start in on them, you better expect to lose whatever fight you expected to start. I win, motherfucker. I always do.

Know why? I actually have a spine. I have the intellect, the cunning, the cold-hearted calculations and sinister grin that will rip you apart.

I only give one warning: do not fuck with me. Once you cross that line, there is no turning back.
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

Dear Reader,

I don't know why you read this, or what you get from it, but I hope you get something out of this journal. Obviously, you take the time to either skim it, glance over it, or fully read whatever I put. It does make me curious, though. I wonder what goes through your head when you read over some of the good [and not so good] things that I've put down. I won't apologize for anything you've read making you cry, be angry, or be irritated, or whatever emotion that passed through you. The fact that you felt something means I've held my end of the deal. When you write something in an open space like this, maybe you don't expect anyone to read it or to try to understand, or hell, to even like what they read. But that's not why you write it. You write it for yourself. You do it for yourself and hope that when it's all said and done that someone, somewhere, will have been moved by the words you painted. Or typed, as the case may be. However, I do hope that when you are done reading this, you reflect on something or even just say, "I get it."

So here's to you, Reader. Enjoy.
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

I just want to give up.
Lay my heart down on the ground.
Say it isn't mine anymore,
And just let my love run aground.
My shoulders aren't strong enough,
My back has been bent,
I can't find the will anymore,
To muster any strength.
These hands can't hold on to this,
These eyes can't hold back tears,
I'm falling into darkness,
From all these wasted years.
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

Just... wow. That poem was very intense. I rather liked it. <3

And *raises hand* I most certainly read your journal! And I'm proud that I do and will continue to do so too. *hugs*
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

Not the in-laws this time. This time it's my own parents. And yep. They're still here. They're taking off tomorrow morning. Probably at around 9 or 10am or so.
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

Nope. No stress at all. Busy? Sure. But it's all good at the very least, so I don't mind at all. And the kids are loving it, which makes it that much better. :)
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

So I find that I really don't like surprises. One of my friends, I--, used to talk to me all the time via text and we would randomly hang out. Then (so it seems) since I turned him down from hooking up, that he started to just talk to me less and less. So I didn't think much of it. It seemed more like a struggle to actually go out and do things or even have him talk to me. So all I could think was, "Oh, so I turned you down and you don't want to be friends? Wtf." Haven't seen the kid since I started college again this semester.

Randomly saw him today and he was like, "Wow, I haven't seen you in forever!" "Well, you don't text me anymore." He looked guilty and said, "Yeah..." So I ask him if the woman he is with is his new girlfriend, pretty much joking about it. To which he replies, "Yes, this is Jen." So we are introduced. All I could think was, "Okay, so I don't get the time of day and then BAM, girlfriend?" She seemed really shy and I wondered if that's just because I can be intimidating or maybe she wasn't used to being introduced as his girlfriend. But I digress.

That kind of just bothered me. I personally don't care if he got a girlfriend out of nowhere, but it's like, "Okay, you don't text me, you don't message me on FB, but when I suddenly see you you act like you had actually missed me? Fuck off." I think most of it is that any time I had tried to get him to hang out, it was like twisting his arm and then the plans never developed. It's like "you could have just told me you had a girlfriend." I think the whole leaving me in the dark is what bothers me most. If we're friends, shouldn't you say that you have a girlfriend rather than just making me try to be psychic?

People irritate me. At least I get to go to the aquarium for free.
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

Also - if only I knew how to make clothing cause I would make a half-jacket. As in, it would stop just under the bust and have a flowing tail. For a reference - like a steampunk jacket or how the jackets brush the ankles in the Matrix.
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

So I'm tired of my friends. I either feel like I'm breaking their arms to try to get them to just hang out with me or that I have to chase them to do so. Either way, it's irritating. I get people get busy - hell, I get busy- but you know what? If I text you to see if you want to hang out and you ignore it completely, that definitely doesn't signal you are just "busy," it says you really just don't want to talk to me at all. Awesome friends.

Gotta love how when they need me around I'm there but can't really hold any plans together unless I make them. Maybe I should honestly just turn my phone off for three days and see if anyone notices besides my boys.
 
RE: Chaos Theory: Causing Hahvoc. [Update]

I've mentioned this one friend a few times. The one who got married a year or two ago. We started talking again and lo and behold, we stopped being friends over an argument. What was this argument about? How he keeps blaming his soon-to-be exwife for their marriage ending. Why? cause she slept with about a dozen different guys while he was off doing his army crap.

I've heard this song a few times and I got to a point where I didn't care. Why? Because he also cheated on her. Sorry, but just because you didn't stick your dick inside some chick, doesn't mean you didn't cheat. "Oh, but it was just kissing and touching," so her sleeping around made it totally okay? Not really. I don't see how your "levels" of cheating make a difference. Cheating is cheating depending on the couple in question.

But no, that's not why we stopped being friends. Because I told him flat out that their entire relationship started because of a one-night stand and it's basically ending because of the same thing and how it was totally stupid for them to get married. They were both cheaters and I said as much.

Also, apparently being a boyfriend/girlfriend/non-married couple makes it okay to cheat cause you aren't bound by vows. WICKED. I'll let my other grandfather and his companion know that it's okay, cause they aren't actually married.

Yup, that's my day so far.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom