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Superpowers Gone Awry

Grant can I get mine removed too?

Also yeah it goes away but only when you move to France and change your name to George

Weight losing powers
 
I'm allergic to Anchovies....damn

Only the writing about where you turn into a monkey comes to life

Power to grand anyone's wishes but my own
 
You can only grant the ones they don't mean.

Transport myself into any story setting
 
You can only transport to setting that are really shitty (Clarification: The setting is not shitty from a story perspective, it's shitty for those who live in it) like Warhammer 40K, Any Lovecraftian or Junji Ito setting, Greek Mythology etc.

EDIT: Forgot to write about super power I want. Super luck : I always get lucky and things go my way.
 
But extreme misfortune occurs to anyone who gets within a ten foot radius of you

Self-Duplication a-la multiple man
 
So what you're saying is... I'll become Bane Johns, Interplanetary Man of Mystery.

Every time you split, your total physical health is also split in half. So make too many copies and everyone dies or becomes a vegetable.

Being able to understand and talk to animals and plants and getting cool powers if they become my close friend. Like being able to run really fast if I become close buddies with a cheetah.
 
You end up with their appetites and hungers as well

Manifest my favorite book characters
 
Granted, but they have amnesia and are normal humans without any powers or abilities from their universe.

The ability to enter the dreams of others while I'm sleeping
 
But only their worst nightmares, and you are that person

Able to live DnD or Pathfinder adventure
 
But you're an npc who has a 50/50 chance of getting murdered whenever you encounter the adventurers. Also, you're an important merchant who sells and buys magical objects.

Healing powers (not like Wolverine or Deadpool, more like a super doctor)
 
But only toothaches, indigestion, and the like

Voluntary control of ejaculate quantity and pressure(mine and others)
 
but only those of barnyard animals

better at writing and communicating
(for me, that is a superpower)
 
But only for a extinct language

full control over time (slowing it down, speeding it up, go back or forward)
 
but only you are also effected by how the time has changed if you speed it up or slow it down, and if you go forward or backwards then you can't remember anything from the time you came from.

The ability to communicate with animals
 
That's a drawback? Lol

But your metabolism gets super amped to fuel it

Give orgasms with a look
 
You are only able to make it denser

Eat as much and as often as I like without getting sick or gaining weight
 
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