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Is He A Lover or A Fighter? (Part 4) WF+GF

"Fashion Week. The week my girl kicks ass and takes names." He told her with a smile. "I can't wait to support you babe."

It freaked him out a bit talking about going to a therapist. Part of him is afraid someone would leak all the dirt even though laws prevent it, he's still worried about it. Then when she mentioned him calling, that freaked him out even more. It made it more real. "I'm not sure I can call tomorrow. Can you please just call for me?" He asked. "I just..."

"Maybe I'll see how I feel in the morning. You know the major stuff." He told her.
 
“You’ll be working Boo. You’ll be with Nick filming his show. I’ll take the Nanny and Owen can sit in for you. I’m only walking in a couple shows though. Mostly a Front Row guest.”

She nodded her head, “I can call but I don’t know the full story, Jake. I can guess at it but I don’t know if I’m right. I don’t know if I want to hear the truth because it’s probably a million times worst than what I think it is.” She said softly.

“Do I?” She asked when he said she knew the major stuff. For some nagging reason she didn’t believe that he told her the full story. Again she didn’t know if she wanted to hear.

“We can call tomorrow. You do most of the talking and when you don’t feel like continuing, I will take over.” She promised. “But I can’t go to your meetings. That’s between you and your therapist.”
 
"I can support from a distance..." He told her. "Nick will too. Owen is totally your favorite..."

He looked to the side because it was easier than looking behind him. "What I mean is you know the basics. My stepfather was a piece of shit. You know he would beat the shit out of me and you know what he did to Amy. What else would you have to tell him to find a therapist?" He asked.

Jake sighed. "Yes...Okay maybe you don't know every shitty detail. I didn't explain every single thing that he did. I don't know if I even remember everything..."

He closed his eyes and was trying not to get mad. He wasn't mad at her and he didn't want her to hold his hand through the sessions. He just didn't know if he could the next day talk about it. He may need another day. And all he wanted at the time was just names of people to call. Jake moved to get up, he went out on the balcony and honestly the cold air felt really nice.
 
“Kind of, yeah.” She teased when he said Owen was her favorite.

“Jake I’m just saying I don’t know how to explain it like you would. I can only give basics. You want the right person to help you through this. It’ll be faster for you to find them if you explain what help you need. Do you just want to talk about it? Do you want to remember? Do you..I don’t know what else want or need.”

She watched him walk out to the balcony and rubbed her face. This wasn’t going to be easy and finding help, the right help, was the hardest part. She just wanted him to start on the right path.

She got out of bed and took a shower to wash the days events off her body.
 
"Alright...I'll do it tomorrow or the next day." He told her and ran a hand through his hair. It was something he could do it just may take a day or so before he was ready.

He stood outside a bit. His mind was racing again and the questions she was bringing up about wanting to remember or talk about it, he wasnt sure about what he wanted. It was part of his past. Could he ever fully forget what he went through?

He knew Adri was trying to help but didn't know how. It was a familiar feeling with her and when she got attacked and then the pregnancy situation.

Heading inside he heard the shower going so he stripped down and climbed in the shower. "I'm sorry."
 
“Don’t be.” She said softly. “What you went through was tough. I don’t understand it because I didn’t go through it with you. I’m just letting you know therapy is going to make you talk about all the things you don’t want to think about. All the things you thought you forgot. I want you to be ready for that.”

She got out of the water so he could get wet and while he did that she washed her body with soap. When he wanted to soap up, she got her hair wet so she could wash her hair and get her curls back.

Maybe she should talk to Luke. He would know what she was going through since he was going through the same thing with Amy. They could help each other help their partner.
 
"And I was ready for that. I was." He told her. "Before that dream. I was all in nand ready for it. It just caught me off guard." He told her softly and touched her sides but sighed when she stepped out of the water and gave her shoulder a kiss.

He started with washing his hair first and getting his body wet, then he swapped places with her to lather up with the soap. While she was thinking of talking to Luke, he was thinking of talking to his sister. She'd get it. She was the only one who would know what he was dealing with.

As she washed her hair, he grinned to himself. Adri was amazing and did help him through a lot. But there were times he probably did lean on her too much. "You make things too easy sometimes. I know you're here. I know you'd do anything for me. You would do anything to take my pain away. You also worked so damn hard to get in to that wall I built that sometimes I just let you walk in and own the place. Sometimes that's great. That's okay. But sometimes I lean on too much. I'll be better about that...."
 
Adri frowned, "Make things too easy? I'm not here to make things harder for you, Jake." She told him. "I'm here to help you through things and support you no matter what."

She didn't like what she was hearing. It sounded like he was pulling away from her. He didn't want her to work so hard to get to know about him. She let down her walls and now he was building his back up. It took forever for him to feel safe enough to open up to her and he was pulling back. That hurt. Did she push too hard? Maybe she shouldn't' have gone to the house. Maybe she should have let him come to his own conclusion of coming to therapy.

Did she fight to stay where she was and risk pushing him further away or did she let him retreat and hope he opened up to her again? Now she wished she didn't wash her hair because she was stuck in the shower with him until she could rinse it out.

"What does that mean?" She asked simply.
 
"I know that. And I love you for that. And you do an amazing job of it. You always have, that's what made me fall for you." He told her.

He wasn't trying to put up walls but she was saying he would have to do therapy alone. So he was saying he could and would go through it alone. He needed to go to therapy and get through it all.

"It means exactly what you said. You can't come to therapy with me and do it for me. I have to do it." He told her. "I love you, I love that you held my hand as long as I needed it and you didn't judge me for what I was feeling or what was going through my head. And honestly, you probably don't want to know every shitty detail about what happened. I don't know if I can actually tell you either." He told her softly.
 
It felt like she could breathe again. There was certainly a better for him to say that. She was glad she asked what he meant rather than run off with her first horrible thought. She nodded her head and smiled at him.

“It’s not that I don’t want to know.” She said. “I just...I don’t know if I can handle knowing everything. And I probably shouldn’t know everything. I don’t know. I just know a professional can help you better than I can.”

She rinsed our her hair and got out of the shower so he could finish. She tried off her body and wrapped her hair in a clean towel.
 
He was a guy and explaining what was in his head wasn't always the easiest for him. Especially when it felt like mush after the dream. That always tended to be an issue with him.

"That's kind of what I meant. It will be hard to listen to it. I want to protect you from it. I'm also afraid you'll look at me differently..." He said softly.

Jake got out and wrapped a towel around his waist. He kissed her shoulder before going to comb his hair.
 
“I won’t look at you differently.” She told him. “But I will respect your boundaries. I won’t ask about it unless you want to talk about it.” She smiled at him and rubbed his arm.

“You don’t ask me about my therapy. I won’t ask you about yours. Just make sure you feel comfortable when you come home.”

She put product in her hair and twisted a few curls that were out of whack. She got most of the water out and the rest could air dry.
 
He put a pair of underwear in and looked at her. "Am I supposed to ask you about therapy? I never have. Now I think of it...should I? I just figured that's private and you'd share what you wanted with me when you wanted to. It's not like couple's therapy where I was forced to talk to you." He emphasized forced to joke a bit.

Jake shrugged bit as he leaned in the doorway to talk to her as she did her thing. "I think what it triggered being at that house and then with the dream was he hurt not just me but people I love and care about. I have a lot of guilt with that. Then you mentioned my mom...maybe she was abused as well...maybe she was scared." He rolled his eyes a little. "My mind can't go there. And I still have a shit ton of anger for her. I dont want to hurt my dad because....I can't ignore that." He said with tears in his eyes.

"I'm trying not to judge. I'm trying to put shit aside...but part of me doesn't want to. You saw how I got when I just dreamt of something happening to you or Owen...but she slept next to that fucking monster....for years." He looked away and shook his head.

Jake was quiet a moment. "One summer, he was drunk, I didn't make him happy with something he wanted, fuck if I remember what." He took a long pause. "He hit me so hard I fell through the back screen door but it was all glass at the time. I got all cut up. Bleeding everywhere. My mom had just got home from work and was walking up the back steps when I flying though. She helped me up and took me to the hospital. The whole drive she was quiet. Before we went in, she told me that if I told them the truth, the state would take Amy and I from her. We would get split up. That I may never see her again if that happened." He looked at her. "So she told me that I feel while playing. It was an accident."
 
She shrugged her shoulder, “I don’t know. In passing maybe, a general how did it go and then we leave it after that. I don’t know. We don’t have to talk about it though.” She told him.

“Maybe your should talk to her. Because bottling it up and being angry at her isn’t going to fix anything. It’s going to make the nightmares worse.” She finished with her hair and leaned against the counter looking at him. “Pushing stuff aside isn’t helping. It isn’t fixing anything.”

She bit her tongue while she listened to his story and crossed her arms over her chest. “Why is she here?” She asked Jake. “Why is your mom downstairs if you don’t trust her or want her around?”
 
He gave a nod. "I do care how it's going. I just don't ask because I don't want to invade that privacy." He told her.

Talking to her wasn't something he was ready for. Talking to a therapist first would be the way to go he felt. "With therapy, I'll be able to hopefully." He shrugged. "I'm not sure."

"Because my dad is with her. Like you said, they work." He shrugged. "He's good for her. And I've spent too many Christmases and other holidays away from my dad. Plus, Amy is trying to mend that relationship and same thing, she is here. So therefore, my mother is here." He told her plainly. "I'm trying to forgive for myself but I'm not forgetting and I will not leave our son with her alone. Period. Ever. Dad knows that. I've talked to him about it." He told her.

"Maybe she did it because she was afraid that was what would happen to Amy and I." He shrugged and put his hands up like he didn't know. "I don't want to give my stepfather and more of my strength and energy today. It's exhausting." Moving into the bathroom and kissed her shoulder. "I do think tearing down that house will help a lot. I'll buy the woman a mansion I don't care...but we mentioned staying and traveling back, let's make a kick ass documentary and shove it in the piece of shit's face that when he told me I wouldn't be anyone or anything. I'm world fucking champion, engaged to a sexy ass Sports Illustrated, Victoria Secret model, I have two fucking houses in two different states, I'm going to own my own gym, you're going to own your own line. We're building a fucking empire baby." He kissed her deeply.
 
He didn’t trust his mother and she didn’t trust her brother. He invited her for the same reasons he invited Drew. They had other family that wanted to see them. She nodded her head and sighed.

She understood that he wanted to get rid of the house. He wanted to tear it down and dance on the ashes but there was the chance that his mother did not want to give it up. She didn’t want to bring that up though, since he was trying to change the subject.

She put her hands on his hips and kissed him back. “I love you. No matter what.” She told him and rubbed his back. “Let’s make a documentary.” She agreed.

“I do have to tell you something though.” She said softly. “I think Victoria’s Secret is out. We aren’t doing fashion shows anymore because the owner is a pig. And we aren’t print ads anymore. I guess I could stay and do the Instagram ads and the occasional billboard things but it’s not fun anymore. I think I want to move on.”
 
Jake smiled a little. "I love you too. No matter what." His hands rested on her hip. "Road trip with my girl!"

His heart almost sank when she said she had to tell him something. That was never a good sign. Good things never come from those words but what she had to say wasn't as bad as he had braced for. "That's okay. Move on babe. I trust you and support anything you want to do. The fact you already are an Angel is thrilling to me." He told her and kissed her. "Seriously though baby. Whatever you want to do, I support you."

He gave her another kiss before heading to the bedroom. The rest of the evening went fairly well, in the morning though, Jake was up early and went down to work out before anyone else was up. After his workout, he came back and was quiet while he showered then he headed down to start some breakfast. Adri really helped him the night before so he wanted to do something nice for her so he was making omlettes.
 
She smiled and kissed him back, “There are plenty of other opportunities, so I won’t be at home sitting in the couch. I just don’t feel the same connection that I felt when I started VS.” She explained. She felt better about not signing the contract now.

They finished the movie and Adri fell asleep at some point during the movie and stayed asleep for the rest of the night. She didn’t feel Jake get up and she didn’t feel him tossing and turning from a nightmare.

When she woke up she stretched out and felt Jake’s side of the bed. It was cold so she knew he hadn’t been in bed for a while. She got out of bed and put on a pair of shorts and one of Jake’s shirts and went downstairs.

“Good morning.” She smiled and kissed the middle of his back. “How did you sleep?” She asked softly.
 
"Oh I know you won't have trouble finding something else. Babe...do whatever makes you happy. You've supported every career move I've made, every fight." He told her. "I will only support yours."

Jake smiled when she came down and kissed his back. "You were supposed to stay asleep just a little longer. I was going to bring this up to you." He flipped the omlette. "Once I fell asleep, not too bad actually." A sigh was let out. "I love you. Owen is still out, I checked." He pointed to the monitor on the counter.

"I made a pile of toys we need to take back vesus what they can take with them on the plane." He told her. Most of their families would be heading back to Vegas and honestly he was ready for time alone with his fiance."
 
“Sorry. I didn’t feel you in bed and I wanted to check on you.” She put her cheek against his back and closed her eyes. “I can go back to bed if you want me too. I wouldn’t mind sleeping a little bit more.” She said honestly.

“Oh goodness. What does that look like?” She laughed and went to go look at the piles. She felt like she might have gone a little overboard with presents. She knew her family did. The piles confirmed it.

“Awe need to hide his truck or he will want to ride it all day. Might throw a fit when we take him off of it.” She walked back into the kitchen and leaned against the counter.

“Their plane leaves at three. Then we will have the house to ourself for a little bit. I told the cleaners we would be out tomorrow morning so they are going to come clean up in the afternoon. We need to find a shelter to donate this food. I was thinking a youth center.”
 
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"If you want to. Go for it babe. It's up to you." He told her and rubbed her arm that was around him.

Jake chuckled when she went to look. "We spoil our family and they spoil us. We are loved. Nothing wrong with that." He chuckled and shrugged.

"I can put it in the back of the truck." He told her. "We are taking that and the train back." The two would never fit in the airplane. Well it would but not with the families as well.

He put her omlette on a plate. "Do you want this now or later? And a youth center sounds good babe. We probably should get some snacks for the road trip though and keep things we can maybe take with us."
 
“We are going to have to do a serious room room for Owen. Get rid of the baby toys and replace them all these. I don’t think he will notice.” She laughed. “This is a little much.”

She stretched her arms over her head and then her lower back and popped it. “Oh my god that feels so much better.” She said softly.

“What do you want to keep for the car ride?” She asked. “I’ll pack up some snacks. Make sandwiches for the trip. We can figure it out tonight.”

“I’ll eat now. Owen will be up any minute now.” She smiled. “I want to spend some time with my boy before he goes home. When we get home I’m going to get him a passport. I might have a job out of the country and if you are with Nick, O can come with me. If you’re cool with that.”
 
"You did it Adriana!" He laughed. "Let's do it before we pick him up when we get back. Or do you want someone to go in and do it for us? Want me to send dad in?" He laughed.

Jake thought of it. "Cookies and some of the candy maybe? The rest can be donated. We can't take anything that really needs to stay cold. I mapped out our trip. The only things I don't have is our hotels. But I'm thinking hot tubs in some of the rooms may not be a bad idea. Hot tubs are good for relaxation and muscles."

He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "What kind of job? Since you're going after other avenues, what do you have in mind babe?" He asked and started some scrambled eggs for Owen. "I think that would be fun for you two. Would you take the nanny or just the two of you?"
 
“No we should do it. There are some thing that we should keep. I don’t want anything accidentally being tossed out.”

Adri raised her eyebrows, “Nice hotels? We can always do an Airbnb for the night. That seems safer-ish. It’s more private at least. No one can find us and ask for photographs or autographs.” She shrugged her shoulder, “It’s up to you. This is your trip, I’m just riding with you.” She smiled.

“Germany’s Next Top Model guest judge.” She wiggled her eyebrows and smiled at him. “While we are out there I might take him to meet my grandparents. Maybe spend a few nights with them. The doctor said they shouldn’t travel during the flu season so I don’t know if they will make it to the wedding. They are going to try but...” she shrugged her shoulder. “We will see.”
 
"That's fine babe. We can do that." He told her.

Jake shrugged. "I don't mind either way to be fair. I just want some alone time with you. WIth a pool or hot tub is preferred but not required." He kissed her softly. "An Airbnb or Homeaway is fine with me love."

He lit up. "What?! Did they officially ask you?" He asked. "Wait...hold on. He is going to get to go see your grandparents without me?! That's bullshit." He was a little bummed but was excited for her and Owen. It would be good to have them travel alone and bond with her family. "Maybe I coiuld come visit for a day...or two." Germany's NTM would be awesome for her since she was part German. "What if we pay for a private flight for them?"
 
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