Woof.
I wake up after what seems like a million years but is actually, after I check my phone - squinting at the bright screen with rheumy eyes - only a few hours. The room is dark, with just a bit of light from the outside lamps coming in through the gaps in the lowered shades. The room is not only dark but seems cold. And it seems larger and emptier than it should, like something's missing.
And I don't feel so good. I'm still exhausted, physically. My cock is aching - a deep, deep throb - and my loins are spent. Everything just sorta hurts, my head, even my bones. I know, I know...poor me, right? I'm complaining about feeling a little sore after being mouth-fucked about a hundred times by a smothering sex kitten. I can hear the tiny violas playing in pity for me out in the living room.
I'm exhausted, sore and drained but after closing my eyes again I don't think I can sleep. Maybe it's because I was napping all day but it feels like something else. There's an uneasiness in me, something beyond the physical. Anxiety? Is that it?
I try to just shut my eyes, harder, and sleep but I can't. Sometimes trying to clear my mind at times like this helps, but right now it's not. It just adds to the emptiness. Rather...as much as I can't stand admitting it to myself...the only thing that's helping calm me is thinking of her. I think of the curves of her body, the feel of my hand on her thin waist.
I turn, to my left, and look at the space she was in just hours ago, next to me in the bed. I take a deep breath and I can almost smell her again, almost see her there like she was in the sunlight...
...the vision calms me, it replaces the emptiness. Breathing in the air she used to fill replaces the cold. I move over, inching towards where she was, seeking comfort at that br-
JESUS what's happening to me?!?
This can't be. This can't be...gulp....
love, right? Not with
her. But why do I feel like this about her?? Why do I ache like this, like I need her here, so I don't feel...lonely.
I turn onto my back again, and with a big exhale I stare up at the ceiling and resign myself to try to getting to sleep. I notice then that - goddammit - I'm hard again, after my reverie.
Just ignore it...it'll go away...
...and just then, my phone buzzes. I reach over, it's her, texting me from the gym...
...fuck me.