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Blood written(lady/moon)

“Hm, true.”Baileysmiled a little before tilting her head. Thinking about that. “Ah. I see. That’s...wow.”She muttered flushing a little, before snorting a little at the idea of him having a type of woman. Assuming it was for curvy girls, not what he was really thinking. “Hm, maybe. Though I doubt he’s apperciating his thumb stuck to his screen....if anything, he’s gonna give cas a hard time about it.”She pointed out, sighing softly.

“Good.”sam smiled a little pressing a kiss to the other’s hair, before snorting as he watched dean get his clothes messed with. “You look good. Well ready for a wedding. Sorta surprised it didn’t come in plaid really.”Bailey said smiling as she walked over to him, fixing his tie, and batting at his hands a little as he fiddled with the clothes. “Leave them alone dean. You look fine. I promise.”She said before looking at the others. “We didn’t need anything else did we?”
 
"yeah..." he shrugged before chuckling a little. "i hope he gives Cas a hard time. maybe then Cas will snap and kiss him." he admitted. "it's for the greater good you understand."

Dmitri grinned as he snuggled into Sam, pressing a kiss to his chest. he tucked perfectly under Dean's arm and he had no intention of moving anytime soon. "he's lucky. no need for a fitting." Dandy admitted happily. "no suits come in plaid. plaid is tacky." he sniffed, stalked off, highly insulted by the idea, Dean snorting before sulking as she smacked at his hands. "i'm used to wearing suits you know." he huffed. though he'd never had one so... nice, before. "nope. i already got all the odds and ends they'll need. and i have some jewelry at home that you'll look fantastic in." he promised Bailey.
 
“...Ah. Yes. Just for the greater good.”Bailey snickered a little. Smiling at dandy. “That’s good. Thanks. And I’m glad someone agrees with us that it is.”She said giggling a little at the sulking, “Then stop iddling with it, Oil slick. You’re gonna wrinkle it.”She scolded, sounding so much like a mother you knew she’d used the same tone with justice sometimes. Looking over at Dmitri she grinned, nodding. “Awesome. Thanks.”She said, for the moment, everything else set aside in favor of enjoying this few minutes.

Though over the next few days, she found herself agiated and upset, only belatedly realizing why. Beyond the fact that hse’d had to read about dean’s awesome relationship with lisa, and adopting-thinking- ben was his own, the woman had forgotten her daughters birthday. For the first time in the 5 years since the girl had been gone, she’d not spent the day in lawerence. Granted, she’d been busy and saving dmitri with the others at the same time, but still, everything had crept up on her, and resulting in her hiding in the guest bedroom for most of the day, and actually thinking on skipping out on the wedding. And she’d do it, if she didn’t think sam would drag her out if only to find out what was wrong. And she didn’t want to do that to him, not when he was so excited about reconnecting for awhile with some of his college friends. Sighing softly as she started to get ready to go,frowning at the scars on her skin, the pale stretch marks from carrying justice....feeling raw and hurt. And hiding out because she didn’t want to hurt dean.
 
"like i care if it get's wrinkled..." which was lie, he was practically having an Anxiety attack about it. he'd literally never had something so nice before. the idea that he could ruin it somehow was enough to make him want to tear it off and wear one of his fake suits. he had a feeling that Dmitri wouldn't allow that though.

"Bailey?" Dmitri asked softly as he knocked on the door. "can i come in?" he asked softly. "i'm... uh, i brought you some ice-cream. it always makes me feel better when i'm sad." he admitted. "...Dean told us why you where upset, because Sam was going to come in here and shake you i guess." he admitted. "but Dean said he wasn't allowed and the started screaming at each other and Dean told us you lost a daughter and that her birthday was a few days ago and Sam went really quiet and Dean got all angry because Sam didn't have any right to push in the first place and now they're not talking to each other" he admitted. "i don't know what it's like to loose a child, but i know what it's like to loose someone close to you. my little brother Damien, he died right in front of me. we where climbing a tree and we thought if we believed hard enough, we could fly... i broke my leg but Damien... he broke his neck." he admitted. "so... i know it's not the same, but i know a little bit about how much it hurts."
 
“Hm?”Bailey stirred a little. “yea you can come in.”Bailey sighed a little as she finished brushing her hair, tying it back out of her face before looking up at him. Looking startled, before sitting down carefully, not wanting to wrinkle her dress as she took the ice cream. “Thanks.”She muttered, frowning a little. Wondering if Dean had told them everything, or simply the most basic. Considering she hadn’t heard sam yelling, she guessed he didn’t know about John. Or really pressed to find out if justice had been dean’s. “Sammy’s a sweetheart. I know he was just worried.”She muttered wincing a little at the idea of the brothers getting in a fight over it. “they shouldn’t have done that....I mean...it wasn’t....that big of a deal. Just...just the first time I never went home for her birthday.... Or forgotten about it. I forgot...”Bailey swallowed hard. And she’d been with dean, somehow the knowledge she’d been with dean made it worse. “I’m sorry....no child should have to know what that’s like....when it should have just been a game...”She smiled softly, painfully. Because justice had scared her like that once in the months before, and it had scared her so much. She couldn’t imagine what that had done to dmitri. “....We have to get going....weddings in a few hours. And I bet Sammy wants to visit with everyone before...”
 
"Sam was being a dick." Dmitri admitted. "and Dean wasn't feeling very well to begin with." he admitted. "Dean told him to back off a couple of times but Sam's... getting frustrated. he knows that Dean is hiding something really bad ad he's anxious because he can't help. they where going to fight anyway, this was just the spark..." he assured her with a smile. "better now, when they can cool down, than at the wedding or during a hunt." he admitted before nodding. "i know how you feel... i cried for three days when i came here, because i couldn't go lay flowers on Damien's grave and tell him about how much of a bitch my mother is." he admitted. "it's still really hard, but it gets a little easier. especially knowing that Damien would want me to be happy. wouldn't want me to be so sad about him all the time. he would have smacked me for moping about him so much." he admitted with a smile. "sometimes... i forget too, and then i realize that it's normal. i'll never forget him, but... sometimes it's okay not to feel agonized." he promised her. "just like it's okay to be miserable. you have to deal with it for yourself. there's no set way to grieve and there's no time limit either." he promised her before nodding. "i'm pretty sure... that's when mother stopped loving me." he admitted softly. "we'll be fine. the hall we're going to is only a haf an hour away." he promised. "by foot."
 
“Ah. Well. Getting dean to talk about anything is like pulling teeth. They were bound to fight about it I guess.”She sighed softly, biting her lip. “I know what he’s hiding. Tell Sam not to worry to much. I’ll help him. We’re friends again...we can do this.”Bailey sighed softly, because she might not know everything, but she knew enough to be worried about him. “...true. I guess it’s better that we have some time before we go then...”she said before staring down at her bowl, nodding slightly. “....Yes...It’s....I’ve never not gone. or...It was just me. For a long time.”She muttered, swallowing hard. She wanted so much, to curl up with Dean, to let him take care of her. But she couldn’t do that. She would just hurt him if she did that. “.....It’s....it’s nice having people around again. I haven’t....not since justice died. I haven’t had anyone. Except occasionally bobby....”She muttered nodding a little. Feeling a little less damaged at his promise, nodding a little. “In that case....I think I’m going to lay down for a bit....”She muttered scooting back on the bed, despite the talk, feeling miserable and tired, and wanting to rest before they left. And not about to admit to wanting dean, not when she knew he had more then enough problems to deal with.
 
he nodded. "i figured. Sam kind of suspected too but it'll make him feel better to know that at least someone can help." Dmitri admitted with a smile before he nodded. "your not alone anymore bailey. we can help you. you just have to let us in." he admitted, smiling at her. "i now that's super hard, but you'll feel better, having someone you can trust." he admitted. "even if it's just Dean, or just me, or just Cas, it's someone and that's what matters." he promised before nodding. "okay. want me to tuck you in?" he offered, already doing that, gently tucking the blankets around her and pressed a kiss to her temple. ten minutes after he left, Dean hesitantly knocked on the door. "Bay's? you asleep?" his voice a soft whisper so he wouldn't wake her up if she was asleep. "can... could i... take a nap with you? i... i don't want... to be alone..."
 
“We just didn’t want him to worry....seems we failed in that....but yes. Tell him. I’ll help him.”Bailey promised though she wasn’t sure if sam would leave it alone, if only because he knew they were probably hiding more then just the existence of justice. But she’d try to keep the man from worrying to much. “IT’s good to not be alone anymore.”She muttered smiling a little. “....I’m trying.”She muttered because despite knowing it had hurt dean to know about everything, she did feel better knowing he knew. “Yes please.”Bailey said looking amused as he tucked her in, settling in to rest. “Dean?No. I’m not asleep.”She said smiling a little, wondering if he was mind reader now as she looked up at him as he came in. Nodding slightly. “yea. Come on.”She said looking a litle relieved to see him actually shifting around, waiting for him to get in before nudging him around so she could curl up in front of him, simply settling into being spooned, and while it was probably just a tad to close, she needed held, needed snuggled close. And this made her feel better.
 
"he's always going to worry. he can't help it." he admitted with a smile. "he can't help so he gets anxious and stuff." he admitted, shaking his head before smiling at her. "i felt the same way when i first met Bruce. for the first time since i was seven, i wasn't alone anymore. it was... wonderful, but terrifying." he admitted. "i kept fearing tht i'd let something slip. that he'd know killed my own brother. i still blamed myself for Damien dying you know? and i thought it was only natural that everyone else thought i was a murderer too. it took a long time before i told him and even longer for him to convince me that it wasn't my fault." he admitted. "it takes time, but Dean can help you." he promised with a smile before grinning at her, understanding as he tucked her in. "Sorry. i know you probobly want to be alone.."Dean whispered. "i didn't realize until this morning... i yelled at Sam and now i feel bad..." Dean mumbled, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close once he got the clue as to what she wanted. "...will you... when you feel better. would you tell me about her?" he asked hopefully, holding Bailey close because it was all the comfort he could afford to take. he didn't dare pop a pill yet. maybe before they headed to the wedding, but he was well aware Dmitri would probobly notice the adderall and call him out on it.
 
"Hell be okay. You just make sure he looks after himself to.b she looked amused a little."yes....that. I don't want to be alone but I feel like I'm going to mess up somehow...."she said sighing, glad someone understood the feeling."....I didn't get justice killed. At lwast, dean thinks so."she said because she was always going to shoulder the blame of justices death, even if she blamed John to."no its okay....I could use the snuggles."bailey muttered at dean as the man climbed in, shuddering a little."how could you have knoen?I didn't tell you. Of course you didn't know."she muttered before smiling."he was only trying to help....just Apologize and he'll forgive you."she said smiling a little.swallowing thickly as she got settled in against him, glad he hadn't shoved her away she nodded a little."I will....and when we go to Bobby we can get the letters I wrote but never sent you. And the videos....all for you. You can know her...."
 
he smiled at her. "i know that feeling all too well." he admitted. "good friends help with that, it still takes a while, but eventually things get better." he promised her. "of course you didn't get her killed, no more than i got Damien killed." he assured her.

Dean smiled a little. "it was her birthday." he whispered. "i didn't realize. i looked at the picture again and i noticed it had been her birthday and i felt horrible because i had... not noticed." he admitted. "and it felt as if... as if i had betrayed her, and you, somehow." he admitted. "and then Sam sarted pushing... he does that, he pushes and pushes and pushes until i can't take it anymore and it wasn't my secret to tell but i said it anyway because he wouldn't shut up..." he sighed and smiled a little. "okay. and we can take them to the bunker where they'll be safe." he agreed. "as for the letters, even if you had sent them, i probobly wouldn't have gotten them. i never stayed in anyplace long enough to have an address."
 
Bit was...and I forgot. I didnt....I didn't remember dean."she muttered her voice cracking a little before sighing, looking at him."dean, you were a little distracted by the fact that she existed to notice 2hen her birthday was. Be fair to yourself."she said smiling at him, sad and soft before nodding."because he worries about you, and knows if he doesn't keep after you, you'd probably never tell him anything."she pointed out."we'll she was your daughter to. She's your sector to....though did you tell him that? Aman everything else?"said asked tilting her head a little even as she settled closer, intending on taking a nap."hm true, but I would have sent them to bobby. You would have gotten them eventually....it just...made me feel not as alone. Like you were just away from home then, for a little while, while I was writing...it never worked long, but for a bit. It was okay."
 
"i'll never be fair on myself. not until you're a little more fair on yourself." he shot right back. "besides. i saw the day i found out about her when her birthday was. it's unforgivable that i forgot in three days." he grumbled before huffing a little. "Sam's a dick and he should leave me alone." he grumbled before shaking his head. "no. i only told him you had a daughter and that she died and that it had been her birthday and that was why you where upset. i'm sure he suspects but i didn't tell him. didn't feel... right, telling him. not now. not yet. maybe later. if i feel like it." he decided. "i didn't tell him how she died either, though i'm sure he thinks it was a spook of some kind." he admitted. "that's true but we hadn't spoken to Bobby until after John left. and even then, John would have burned them or torn them up. he never would have let me know they existed." he admitted. "i can read them this way." he admitted before sighing. "i'm sorry i wasn't there for you." he whispered. "i... i never told you, why i really left did i?... i just gave you bullshit excuses..." he swallowed thickly. "i should have known better. Sam would never have let John do those.... do that to him."
 
"....fine. I'm trying."she huffed a little."hey I knew for longer and still forgotten."she sighed softly, turning her face into his shouoder, trying to relax."you only think he's a dick cause he's worried and anxious about it. Be nice."she said smiling a little. "Ah...okay. and yes...I think he'd be even more upset about upsetting you if he knew for sure...you know he feels bad for yelling at you."she pointed out a little relieved that sam wouldn't be hurt by her hiding justice. "Ah...that's good."she muttered he can just continue thinking that ...no reason to make it worse..."she muttered.wincing a little before shrugging."maybe."she said hating John would have destroyed them, "it's okay...I mean...it's not but you did what you had to....and I was just to hurt to let you know."she sighed a little, kno2ing that she'd messed up. "You protected sammie. You told me......after we talked about...joyn."she shuddered 2incing a little."you didn't though. You thought you were keeping us safe....did I thank you for that?trying to keep me safe?"she muttered
 
"yeah well... we'll have to do something for her... maybe Sammie can make a paper lantern?" he mused. "nd we can set it off into the air for her, or make a paper boat or something." he mumbled before he smiled a little. "he always feels bad when we fight. honestly he's a little bit of a bitch." he admitted with a smile. "i'll tell him i'm sorry later." he decided. "i did what i thought... i always thought... but more often than not i was wrong so really it didn't matter much in the end." he sighed. "oh. alright." he mumbled, not convinced he had told her but willing to let it go. "you shouldn't thank me for that when i failed so horribly." he pointed out. "just go to sleep. you need some rest."
 
"Maybe....we'll come up with something....I'm sure he's out theretrying to decide what 5o make. Or do."she snickered a little before snorting."I'm sure he'd say the same about you oil slick."she teased before sighing.you thought it was right. It's the effort that counts, dean."she muttered before letting it go, nodding."you to. Get some sleep."she ordered snuggling close.

Later she carefully squirmed away from him before bolting towards the bathroom to get ready, not wanting to be there when he woke up. Not wanting him to know just feeling him hard and leaning against her back, that hard lean body was more then enough to get her achy and wet. Definitely not how she wanted to start attending a wedding with him. This was gonna be long. After a cold shower she walked out, leaning over to gently shake him awake."oil slick, time to get up."
 
"i'm not getting up unless there's coffee and pie." Dean slurred as she shook him, though he was moving a few seconds later because he didn't doubt that she had gotten very creative. hell she had been creative when they had been teenagers and he hadn't wanted to get up. he shuffled off to get ready and take a pill and he was starting to wake up once they got started to the wedding, Dmitri leading the way, wearing his gorgeous tux and glimmering emeralds dangling from his ears. Bailey had some gorgeous pieces of her own from Dmitri's collection, some of which cost more than a down payment on a house. he insisted though, stating that she was so beautiful she needed beautiful jewellery to match. Dmitri was even wearing faint lip-gloss and khol, making him look fantastically beautiful. it was hard to tell if he was a masculine woman, or a feminine man. which was what he was going for. hard to be insulted when you didn't know what gender someone was.
 
“There will be eventually.”Bailey said looking amsued because she knew he’d be getting up soon enough. Sam smiled al ittle as tehy walked, looking amused and happy at how dmitri was. He was just perfect. And the fact that he’d helped Bailey with her makeup when she’d realized she was so not up for the task of getting ready, amused him. Though by the reception, he wasn’t quite as amused. Though it was good to see all the friends he’d made, and hadn’t seen in years, it made him even more aware of the gap between then, and his life now. It made him sad to consider he might never get to go back. Though what was annoying him mostly at the moment was watching dean make eyes at the bridesmaids, who were equally eyeing him back. It would be yet another wedding dean bagged all the bridesmaids. And he really wouldn’t care, really, if bailey hadn’t been sitting there. Smiling slightly as the DJ called for all the mated couples at the reception, he knew the game. It was to see who was the longest together couple, just to see. Though he knew amber had gotten a present for whoever it was. Curious to see the answer, even if he knew he wasn’t going to win, he held out a hand towards dmitri. “Dance with me?”
 
Dmitri was very happy, he loved parties and he loved how gorgious Bailey was. gorgious enough that Dean kept looking at her, flushing, and looking away. it didn't help that he was high as fuck, though the others couldn't tell. he was starving, which was good, there was going to be pie, but by tomorrow he wasn't going to want to touch anything at all. he practically twitched his way through the wedding, though the others probobly assumed it was just his usual 'im bored' twitching. Dmitri was having a ball, he loved weddings. Dean heped himself to a slice of every kind of pie available and was eating, grinning as he watched the Bridesmaids before scowling at the DJ for ruining his instant chances. well, at least he knew which bridesmaids where single now. all of them. yay! "i'd love to dance!" Dmitri agreed, leaping into Sam and giving him a kiss, just a bit tipsy from the wine but well in control of himself as he swept Sam into a giggling dance. once that dance was done and Dean was too ful to eat anymore pie he swept off to dance with all the lovely single bridesmaids only to return at the end, looking miserable. "it's just... not worth it." he sighed, poking at the pathetic remains of his pie.
 
Sam rolled his eyes a little as he watched his brother, pressing a kiss to dmitri’s forehead as he pulled him in to dance. Looking amused at how very amused his friends were to see him simply being happy. It seemed like a long time, since he’d simply enjoyed himself. Amused that Dean was sulking at having nearly missed the bridesmaids, he sighed a little, “Dean’s going to get himself killed.”Sam muttered looking at a equally miserable looking bailey nursing a glass of whiskey and a slice of pie, even as he watched Dean heading for her. Looking up at Dean as he sat down, bailey raised her eyebrows, chin resting on her hand as she considered him. “What?Dancing? I’m fairly certain that bridesmaid there wants to do some dancing with you. On the table. Bar. She doesn’t look to particular about where she wants to ride you.”She growled, sounding defensive and upset, wired tight. Despite having wanted sam to have a good time, and it was obvious the man was, she had known coming herself would be a bad idea. She should have just stayed home. Being mated and single at the same time, sucked.
 
Dmitri nodded. "somethings wrong though, Dean doesn't look like he's enjoying himself too much." Dmitri mumbled. "isn't he supposed to be some ind of ladies man?" he asked. "do you think having Bailey around is affecting him?" he wondered, his head tilted. "he's acting odd..."

"no... dancing is... whatever." Dean admitted with a shake of his head. "i just... they're just too easy." he admitted. "and i'm so tired. having sex just... doesn't..." he sighed a little and poked at his food some more. "it's a habit. it's boring. it doesn't mean anything anymore and i hardy even feel it... i don't know why i even bother anymore." he admitted, watching his brother and soon to be brother in law dancing. "i want to go home." Dean admitted. "i want to have a home, not dance with some tramp at a wedding party..." he admitted, sighing before looking at her. "do you wanna dance? at least thn it might be fun."
 
“No he really doesn’t.”Sam sighed softly, before nodding. “Usually he is. He’d have a line going of bridesmaids. Hell, the only ever wedding I’ve gone to him with, he bagged all 6 between teh wedding and reception.”Sam muttered eyeing the two, before nodding. “Yea. I think it’s messing with him.”

“Ah.”She said tilting her head at him as she sipped her drink, “...you’re doing sex wrong if you’re finding it boring. You always said that.”She said studying him, feeling the same icy cold feeling at the idea of taking someone home. Hell, she hadn’t had sex since the last time she’d had sex with him, first justice had taken her full attention, and then after nothing had been able to reach her through the icy cold of justice’s death. “We can go. It’s not that far you know. But....yes. One dance, before we go.”She said smiling at him a little before getting up, holding out a hand. “Come on.”
 
"huh... do you think maybe he's sick? he's been behaving kind of erratically..." he admitted. "does he have a drinking problem? it would explain a lot..." he admitted, shaking his head. "maybe we should stage an intervention?" he mumbled.

"nah. i'm just... tired. tired of trying to be... normal." he admitted. "i'm tired of pretending there's nothing wrong with me. i'm tired of pretending i'm not fucked up. i'm tired of pretending that i'm not tired." he admitted before smiling at her. a bitter, twisted smile. "i'm tired of pretending." he admitted before nodding. "yeah. one dance. just to say i got to have one that didn't suck." to say he got to have one with someone who mattered.
 
“He might be. I’ve....he’s been getting worse. Drinking worse...”Sam bit his lip, looking down at the man in his arms, before nodding a little. “Maybe....we’ll wait and see. See if Bailey gets to him.”

“Ah. Well, we’re not normal.”Bailey said sighing softly. “And there’s plenty of wrong with us, but we got each other, yes?I mean, we can be tired together.”She said watching him, worried about him being suicidal, the dark blue eyes worried as she nodded. “Can’t promise that. I’ll probably step all over your feet, and considering these boots, its gonna hurt.”She said stepping into his arms, shifting, the woman, tall for being female, plus the two inch boots put her at the perfect height to rest her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes as they danced. For the moment, a small tiny moment, allowing herself to believe she could have this. Feeling those strong arms, broad chest, and gentle breathing ruffling her hair, made her want to cry, because she knew she would never have this. That she didn’t deserve this.
 
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