Reasons To Live(Avengers)Moon/Lady

“True.”Natasha tilted her head as she considered that, frowning slightly. “....well. He didn’t have that training, he’s been with garret since 16, but not...black widow training is a mind rape all on its own, even garret’s training has nothing on that. Some of the things she’s learned, there will never be undoing.”natasha frowned, because she’d never been worried before, but as she thought about it, it made her worry vaguely about eliza’s loyalty, and trying very hard not to consider that. “I will.”Natasha said already dialing to call xavier, frowning as she watched grant stalk off. “Probably not.”She said following bruce as they headed off to get eliza. And by the time a hour had past, eliza was losing her mind, to the point that even through sedatives she was bugging tony and hustling the billionaire as he tried to find a camera that had grant on it. “...Steve. Go have sex. Please.”Tony demanded, whining a little as he looked at the super soldier, trying to work but not truly able to.
 
Bruce nodded. "yes. but, unlike a mind rape, the Black Widow training only breaks the spirit, the will as it where. once you get it back, they have no control over you. just like you, and Eliza. you found your will again, a reason to do more than just exist and to Live." he smiled at her. "heavily abused children are much the same way." he admitted. "and while it may never be undone, it can always be made better or be re-purposed." he admitted. "isn't that what you've done? re-purposed all that training for a better goal? to protect instead of harm, to help instead of serve?" he asked with a smile. "she's fresh out of the academy, it's true but Grant, and yes, Steve and you, have given her new lessons to live from." he admitted.

"Eliza. come here." Steve ordered gently. "your distracting Tony, he won't find Grant any faster with you bothering him." he admitted. "come on. we'll go out and search the old fashioned way." he promised. "we might find a trace of him." he suggested to her. but there wasn't any sign of him. he was just gone, he hadn't even packed a bag. there was no letter, no sign at all that he was going to leave. he didn't even take his toiletries. he didn't take his wallet. he didn't take a change of clothes. he hadn't even put on his shoes. they where still sitting in the lab. so he was somewhere, no shoes, no weapons, nothing. which meant he probobly hadn't planned on vanishing.
 
“we have. And grant...and steve...are her most protected people. This is going to be a mess...”Natasha sighed softly. Because while eliza wanted, needed to protect everyone and the world, those two, were special to her in a way that few but other black widows could truly understand.

“...”Eliza frowned moving away from the billionaire, responding to the order as if she was still at the academy instead of free. Responding, relying on him to help her figure out how to handle things. “...we might.”She agreed looking anxious and annoyed the longer things went without finding him, taking a shuddering breath as she called phil to tell him that the man was gone, needing help and trusting phil enough to accept him as someone who could help her."....What am I supposed to do?"She paused looking up at steve, shuddering a little.
 
"it is going to be a mess... but hopefully it will be a mess we can all get through together." he admitted with a smile. even if he didn't much feel like smiling.

"we trust those who can work better than us. we trust Phil, and Tony to find him." he admitted. "he will be spotted eventually. not even Grant is good enough to hide from Jarvis every hour of every day." he admitted. "we'll find him. until then, we'll help Tony and Phil as best as we can." he admitted, smiling at her. "we wait, i know that sucks, but there's little we can do now. all we can do is hope he comes back."
 
Eliza sighed softly as she moved over to the board walk, sorta glad the man had convinced her to leave the house for awhile, absently rubbing her arms, twitchy and anxious, sighing quietly. “What can I do?I can kill a person a billion different ways, but I can’t help him, Steve. Even when we find him....I wont be able to help.”She said sounding frustrated as she looked up at him.
 
Steve smiled at her. "of course you can help him Eliza. you think he's going to trust any of us? it's you he's going to go to." he admitted. "it's you he loves and adores and you who he knows without a doubt won't hurt him. it's you, who knows what it's like to be unmade. just like him. it's you, who knows him the best." he admitted. "you'll hold him when he cries and kiss him when he hurts and sing to him when he wakes up from nightmares." he explained with a smile. "you'll be the one who helps him the most." if they ever found him anyway.
 
“...No. But he doesn’t trust me either, otherwise he’d still be here.”Eliza said chewing her lip bloody before stepping into the other’s arms, shuddering a little. “I should have known something was wrong when he couldn’t remember us meeting...I can’t...I should have known.”She sighed leaning into him, simply taking the comfort, because she hated not being able to find the other yet.Feeling helpless at not finding him.
 
he shook his head. "you don't know that. he's been mind raped, for all we know there was a hidden trigger or something." he pointed out. "or worse, he might have been kidnapped." he admitted, shaking his head. "there's no reason to have known. besides, from what i understand, the type of mind rape that's been used on him cannot erase memories. no one can erase memories." he pointed out. not realizing that people could erase memories. that she had seen them do it. he wrapped his arms around her. "someone has hurt Grant but we'll get him back even if we have to burn the world down."
 
“I don’t know.And don’t say that. If-If he was, then I have no idea where to start looking for him.Or how to find him.”Eliza said sounding anxious at the idea of grant being kidnapped, swallowing hard as she shuddered. “...It can. At least...memories can be deleted. I’ve watched James go in, and come back having no idea who me and natasha were....what if...what if he forgets who I am, cap?”She whimpered, completely undone at the idea.
 
he nodded. "i know. but honestly if he was? we'd probably have an easier time finding him. he's sly as fuck." Steve admitted with a smirk. "you know he did a crawl through of the vents and Clint never even noticed?" he asked her. "if he doesn't remember you, then we'll just have to mentally calibrate him." he stated with a smirk. "a really hard hit on the head fixed Clit, i'm sure it'd knock some sense into Grant." he admitted with a smile. "no one who loves you as much as he does, could ever really forget you. they can't erase memories. it's impossible, but they can bury the memories. buried memories always come back in the end. you said your handler James had his memories erased right? but didn't they have to keep doing it because he'd revert to other behavior? memories come back and once we find him, we'll help him."
 
"He is a sly fucker."Eliza made a face. Before snickering and nodding."I know. He was so proud about it. and clint's sulking something fierce about never noticing until grant mentioned it."Eliza snickered taking a slow breath swallowing hard as she leaned into the other."...maybe."she said wanting to believe grant would never forget her before tilting her head nodding slightly."you're right....with time things start coming back. He'll come back or we'll find him..."
 
Steve chuckled a little and snickered at that. he hadn't realized Clint had found out. "they started up a game of tag in there a few days ago. Grant won." he admitted with a laugh ad snuggled her a little more. trying to offer her what comfort he could. "he'll come back, and if he doesn't we'll never stop looking." he agreed softly. "we won't ever let him go. never." he promised, giving her a gentle kiss. "come on. let's go back. maybe someone's found something." but when they got back all they had found was that Garret was gone too.
 
"That started after clint figured out he was in there."Eliza snickered a little trying to relax."no we wont."she muttered kissing him back,nodding a little. "Lets go then."she said though by the time they found out garret was gone to the woman was a anxious mess,utterly afraid that garret was going to catch up to grant. Hoping he could take care of himself until they could find him
 
A week passed with no new information. a week of nothing but tense silence and anxious worry. Bruce, looked over the brain scans again and again and even Professor Xavier could not locate the wayward specialist. Garret was spotted often, all over the place but they could never catch him. it was a third picture that really got people panicking. a picture of James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barns, the Winter Soldier who was shooting at Nick Fury in the middle of a crowded street. Steve nearly went catatonic. Clint had to physically restrain Natasha and Eliza both. the where well aware it was only a matter of time before 'they' sent James to attack the Avengers and those in the Tower. only the fact that they didn't know how to stop James from killing them all, stopped Steve from going after him. for himself and Eliza both.
 
Eliza was a mess, both because grant was missing, and because she was worried about how steve was dealing with things. “Dammit you two. Okay. Time to go. You two, are going out. On a date. And away from everything.”Tony growled looking at the two sitting at the kitchen table, despite knowing there was danger and it was probably a bad idea, he also knew they had to, otherwise they were going to be going insane soon.
 
Steve blinked up at him. he looked like hell, he hadn't been sleeping too well and only snuggling with her made him relaxed enough to sleep. "a date? Tony we don't even know when, where or if we're going to be attacked, we can't just go out on a date." he protested, shaking his head even if he glanced at her, wondering if maybe they should go out on a date? dinner, a movie, dancing? Tony had taken the time to teach Steve how to Dance.... "well... maybe a date wouldn't be so bad." he admitted. "it's not like we're being watched. we could go out for a few hours. just to relax a bit...."
 
“No we don’t, but it’s not going to be any better by staying here cooped up either.”Tony said making a face at the man as he protested. “Go out.” “...Would it be okay?I mean, I’m going insane being in here...”Eliza said biting her lip as she looked at steve, swallowing hard, looking like she’d been hit by a bus, having been sleeping even worse then steve, without a serum to keep her from being totally worn out. She was running on fumes, a few hours out would do wonders.
 
Steve nodded. "let's go out on a date." he agreed, smiling at Eliza. "we'll go to a fancy restaurant that has a dance floor." he suggested. "and then go watch a movie or go for a walk after." he offered. "hows that sound?" he asked her with a smile. worried about her, he knew she wasn't handling Grant's disappearance and James appearance any better than he was.
 
“Let’s.”She smiled at him, “I could go dancing. I haven’t been dancing since....before I left.”She shuddered a little but smiling, because she truly enjoyed dancing. Heading for their rooms to get clothes, changing into the little black dress, slipping on some high heels. Swallowing hard, because she was trying so hard to put on a brave face, but the appearance of hre mentor and grant missing, was breaking her apart."ready to go?"She smiled looking up; at her captain.
 
Steve smiled at her and nodded. "i haven't been dancing ever." he admitted. "i know how to now but i didn't have a partner other than Tony and he kept grabbing my ass." he admitted with a grin. "you look beautiful." Steve admitted, wearing his own set of nice clothes, smiling at her. "i love you." he admitted, gently kissing her. "Tony called in a favor." he admitted. "we have reservations for one of Pepper's favorite restaurants." he admitted. "so that means it has to be good." he admitted with a grin, offering her his arm.
 
“Well, it’s a very nice ass. No wonder he kept grabbing it.”eliza teased smiling at him. Blushing at his praise as she looked him over. “You do to.”She muttered, a quiet frustrated look crossing her face at his declaration. Not because he loved her, or that he had said it, but because she couldn’t make herself say it back. Kissing him back she smiled, “Awesome. And yes, she has good taste.”She smiled a little as she took his arm, heading for the door with him.
 
he snorted. "there are only two people i want touching my ass and he isn't one of them." Grant and Eliza of course. he could only smile at her. "it's okay. i understand." he promised, brushing his lips across her forehead. she had to tel Grant first. h knew that. and she needed time to recover before she could. the dance hall and the fancy, but not overly so restaurant was just up Steve's ally. they had to be polite, but they didn't need those stuffy rules about silverware and how to eat your food. he grinned and swept her up when he heard a song he actually knew and danced with her, looking better than he had since nineteen forty four. "i never realized how fun dancing could be!" he admitted, beaming at her. "i'm glad Tony suggested this."
 
"I'm sure you'll break his heart when you tell him that."she said with a slight giggle sighing quietly. She knew he understood but it didn't make her feel any better."wow. I'd assumed it was a fancy restaurant not this. This is nice."Eliza said with slight wide eyes as she looked around her. It was indeed perfect for them. Looking happy and pleased as she danced with him,for the first time in weeks feeling utterly relaxed."me to. This was a good idea."
 
he smiled. "Pepper knows we don't have the same level of 'sophistication' as her." he admitted with a smile. "so she selected a restaurant more to our tastes." he admitted with a smile. "it really was a great idea." he agreed, smirking. "but we can't tell Tony or he'll get a swelled head." he warned, leading her back tot he table and soothing his parched throat with water. he danced with her another three times during the course of their meal and smiled as they left. "we really did need that." he admitted softly before gasping when pain bloomed across his chest. he paused, blinked and looked down at the read spreading across his fancy white shirt. "...oh..." he was on his knees all of a sudden, going numb. in front of him was James, Buchanan, Bucky Barnes. the Winter soldier, metal arm out, gun in hand with a silencer attacked. eyes blank and a familiar white scar across his hairline. a scar he got struggling against the straps that held him in place when his memories where wiped. the same kind of scar Grant had, less pronounced since Grant had to sit in that chair far less, but the same.
 
“true.”Eliza smiled a little before nodding. “No telling Tony, he’ll try to do even more stuff, and it’d get outrageous on how much stuff he’d try to get us to like.”She snickered amused as they finished dinner. “Yes we did.”She said responding to the shot before she’d even heard it, gun pointing towards james even as she knelt down next to steve, pressing a hand against the wound trying to stop the bleeding even as she watched james, not taking her eyes off the soldier even if she knew she needed to help steve. She needed to take care of james first.”James!Stop. Don’t do this.”She demanded, voice hard and scared, trying to talk to him even if she knew it was useless, trying to figure out how to get help withotu turning this into a bloodbath.
 
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