Reasons To Live(Avengers)Moon/Lady

“Ahh, probably.”Eliza snickered a little, even if she didn’t remember that, it wouldn’t surprise her if she was at fault. “Yea...I was. It was some painting from teh russian royal family....I don’t know why they sent me after it, or why you guys had classified it as a 084, but it was, and they did. But...I dunno. I didn’t question alot of things then.”She shrugged a little before smiling slightly. Sadly, not about to go into it, not when he didn’t remember. “Well, you did, must have found you to cute to beat to badly.”She teased a little before looking up at him, looking confused and lost. “But...I thought....we’re good together, you know?We could be good with Steve....”She said looking so lost as she watched him get up, staying where she was, sitting in the sand, watching him leaving her. Staring at him before her features shuttered, slipping easily back into her training, hiding, so effortlessly it was like she’d never left the red room. “...Well. I guess you’re right, you know yourself the best.”She said before waving him off. “Drive back. I’ll walk up the beach.”She said heading for the trail that went back up to the mansion.
 
he smiled a little. "ah." he tilted his head. they did have a Russian painting in the vaults but he had never bothered looking into it. he never looked into anything at all, he just did what he was told to. "i don't question things at all." he admitted before snorting at her. "...Eliza? i'm broken." he admitted softly. "i can't be the person to help you. i can't..." he swallowed thickly and looked away so she couldn't see the tears in his eyes. "i can't be with you." he admitted softly. "you are better being with Steve, he can love you the way you truly deserve to be loved." he admitted softly before wincing at her blank expression. "no. you drive back. i don't like you out here on your own." he admitted. "too many thugs, your still hurt." he admitted softly. "...ifor what it's worth... i'm sorry i can't be the person you want me to be." he whispered.
 
“...I...If...if that’s what you want.”She said hurting, hating that this is what happened. “....I ...I’m sorry for...”She muttered softly, staring at the ground, hating herself for wasting so much of his time, “wasting your time...”she muttered ineligibly as she wipe her eyes, swallowing hard. “...Well...if you’re sure....do you want a ride back?”She said heading for the car, running her hand through her dark hair, letting the dark strands hide her face as easily as her mask of indifference did. Simply wanting to be away from him, needing time to gain control again.
 
he offered her a smile, a sad broken thing. at least the water had left his eyes. "you could never waste my time." he promised her. "i can't love you, but you will always be the most important thing in my life." he promised her. "i'm too broken to be right for you." he admitted. "but i will make sure your happy." he promised softly. "Steve can make you happy." he promised her with a smile before shaking his head. "no. i need to walk." he admitted, hesitating before touching her shoulder. "i'm sorry i hurt you." he whispered before he headed off down the trail. he would take his time. she needed the time, he knew.he knew she wouldn't notice that he was clutching the bracelet in his hand, refusing to let it go, not giving it up because he did love her. he loved her so much he would giver her up just to see her happy.
 
“...”Eliza stared at him, biting her lip a little, not sure what to say, to lost and broken to know how to handle a breakup. Utterly lost because grant had for so long been her rock, the one person she never questioned who’d have her back, and she had no idea what to do about this. But...”Yes....I think he will.”She said watching him, before nodding. “Okay. I’ll see you later, okay?”She muttered tensing a little at the touch, squirming away from the touch. “It’s okay. Really.”She said feeling utterly lost, and hurt because maybe despite his words, she hadn’t meant as much to him as she had thought. If he couldn’t remember how they met...or if he was just writing off years of trying....she felt confused and lost as she headed back to the house. Stumbling inside, blindly sesarching for the super soldier.

“...El?”Tony muttered looking up from his gift, having been letting steve play with it, but looking a little surprised and confused on how to deal with the other’s obviously distraught mood. Eliza having fallen apart as soon as she’d gotten back to the house.
 
"of course." Grant promised her. "we'll watch a movie." he promised, letting his hand fall away from her. "it's not okay, i know." he admitted softly. "but i don't know how to make it better." he admitted. "go to Steve." he suggested. "he can fix anything." he promised her, watching her leave and closed his eyes as she went to the car, pressing the bracelet to his chest. "i am sorry... Eliza..." he whispered, knowing she could not hear him.

"...Eliza?" Steve asked, worried, abandoning his 3doodler[/i] to rush over to her, wrapping her up in his arms and scooping her up, carrying her off because he knew she wouldn't want to have a breakdown in front of other people.
 
“Good.”Eliza smiled a little at the promise towatch a movie, staring down for a long moment before nodding. “I will..”she muttered shuddering as she left.

“S-steve.”She muttered stuttering a little as she leaned into him, swallowing thickly as she buried her face against his chest, clinging to teh captain as he walked into the bedroom, swallowing hard. Whimpering quietly.”Grant....grant broke up with me...”
 
Steve looked startled. "he... he what?" Steve asked, stunned before grimacing, wondering if maybe he'd only been seeing things when he thought Grant was head over heals in love with Eliza? "it's okay." he murmured, stroking her back. "come on." he murmured. "we'll go snuggle in bed. that makes Tony and Clint feel better." he admitted, carrying her into her room and gently tucking her in. "i'm sure Grant's being an idiot. he probably thinks he's protecting you or some such silly rot." he admitted, stroking her hair. "he would never leave you without a good reason, and i'm sure it is a good reason, even if we won't let him do it. right?" he asked, smiling at her. "it might take time, and a lot of effort, but we'll make him see reason. or at least, make him obey us."
 
“He said...he couldn’t love me....wanted me to be with you, since you could.”Eliza swallowed hard, pressing her face against his chest, crying silently, coming utterly undone at the idea of not having grant, of not being with him. Her whole world crashing in, as she realized the one person she’d always relied on, wasn’t goign to be there anymore. “...kay...”She muttered simply letting him put her in bed, totally disconnected, the black widow training settling back into place even if she couldn’t manage to stop the tears. “....no....he doesn’t....want to.Doesn’t want me anymore....I wont force him....”She sighed softly, “Not like I already did. I don’t want to ruin things anymore...”She muttered her voice soft and hurting, going quiet. Pained because not only was she thinking grant didn’t want her now, maybe he never had, simply been going along with it, because she had. Had she raped her partner?Her psychosis and past leaving her twisted up and hurt, letting her think maybe, just maybe...
 
Steve shook his head. something was very, very wrong here. very wrong. he just couldn't think of how. "shh now. of course he loves you. he just doesn't think he's capable of it." Steve assured her. "we just have to give him time, okay?" he asked, smiling at her. "it's going to be okay." he promised her. "of course he wants you. he'll always want you." he promised before he scowled at her. "Eliza, last name i can't pronounce!" he chastised. "i never want o hear you say that again, you did not Rape Grant! you think he'd just lay back and let you rape him?" he demanded. "people ave tried you know. before you showed up, people have tried to rape him and they never succeeded. do you know why?! because he pitched a fit! even his own brother didn't get to rape him because he clawed and bit the hell out of him!" he admitted with a snort. "i saw his file you know. anytime anyone ever has tried to take advantage of him he pitches a fit, beats the shit out of them and then flees. he actively participates every time you two fuck, which is most assuredly not rape." he promised her with a smile. "he loves you. he's just too fucked up to know it."
 
Eliza calmed slowly as steve talked, swallowing thickly as she bit her lip. “...Okay.”She muttered, to upset to even think on her own, simply agreeing because it was her default answer to think, following orders. “...Petronova.”Eliza muttered, giving a watery snicker at his chastisement, flinching a little. “...Yes. I mean...I’ve always been able to beat him in a fight...”She muttered before her eyes widened, she hadn’t known. Because they both had their own problems, the twisted past that left them unable to talk for days, that they never pressured each other to talk about what happened before, unless instigated to talk about it by the person. “....he does participate.”She muttered relaxing, swallowing thickly, resting her head on his shoulder. “...”She wanted so much to believe that he did love her, but it took to much faith to do it. “...I still... Want to be with you to...this doesn’t...change anything.”She muttered.
 
he smiled at her. "it's a funny name." he mumbled, a little annoyed with himself that he could never remember it. "there is a difference between you beating him in a fight, and you trying to rape him." he pointed out. "even if you had been trying he still would have fought back." he assured her. "he will let no one use him that way, his body is his own and no one will have it without his permission." he admitted. "his own words." he admitted. "i know." he promised her with a smile. "i still want you too. we will have him as well, someday, he just needs to have time to realize it's okay to love us, i think." he admitted, hesitating before pressing his lips to hers. kissing her deeply. "i love you." he promised her, with a smile. "do you want me to stay?" he asked her, not sure if he was supposed to go to sleep with her or not. the rules of the day and age where funny.
 
“It is.”Eliza agreed smiling a little, before going quiet. Staring down at the blankets before nodding slowly, not sure if she believed it, but well, it was cap, and she kne whe couldn’t like worth a damn, and he was looking so earnest. “okay....I...I can see him saying that.”She said sighing quietly, biting her lip a little. “...well. We’ll just how to show him then.”She muttered, wanting to believe that steve would see. That he’d want to be with them. Startling a little at the kiss, because she’d so rarely been kissed by anyone but grant in the last two years, before relaxing into him, kissing him back hesitantly before nodding. “I do. Please.”She said biting her lip, because she trusted him to stay while she was asleep, but that trust still made her feel awkward. Right now, she just didn't want to be alone.
 
Steve smiled at her. "he's just having issues. we'll work through them." he promised. "he said it after the first rape attempt. he killed the man who tried ad there was an investigation. probably why it was so easy for those bitches to imagine he'd been taken advantage of. according to the files three men and four women have tried various ways of raping him, from drugs, to bindings, to blackmail, everything's failed." he admitted, glancing at her. "so you couldn't have raped him because he's never been raped. he's never allowed it. he kills anyone who tries." he admitted. "and if they don't die they sure as hell aren't fit for service after." he admitted, smiling at her. "okay. i'll stay." he agreed, crawling into bed with her. "can we snuggle?" he asked hopefully. "i like to cuddle."
 
“Good. We will. We’ll work through it.”Eliza muttered pressing her face into the other’s chest, simply relaxing. “....Well. That makes sense really. Stupid women...”She muttered calming slowly, before smiling slightly.”And he’s not tried to kill me. So it was all good.”She muttered softly, relaxing before grinning, “Snuggling is good.”He muttered snuggling into the other, yawning as she relaxed and fell asleep in his arms.

In the morning Tony glanced up from his coffee cup, raising a eyebrow as he studied the spy sitting at his table. “You look like ten miles of bad road, Grant.”Tony muttered worried about the man. “You okay?”He asked, sipping his coffee, tensing a little as Eliza stumbled in, looking just as blank and collected as ever, having reverted to black widow training to deal with things as she went around getting her breakfast ready.
 
Steve smiled at her. "yes. then again Shield Agents where never well known for their intelligence or common sense." he admitted. "he hasn't even tried to attack you." he agreed with a smile. "snuggling is good." he agreed with a happy little sigh.

Grant blinked at Tony and then shrugged. he looked like he hadn't slept at all and his clothes looked a little scuffed, as if he'd spent the night in the park or something. "i'm fine." Grant said, waving off Tony's concern. "i went for a run and tripped over something. an animal. i think it was supposed to be a dog." he admitted, wrinkling his nose. "morning Eliza." Grant said, forcing himself to be completely normal. he didn't feel normal at all though. he felt very... odd really. he couldn't place the feeling really.
 
“...You know, I have like a whole gym downstairs you know. Things called a treadmill, sorta takes away the whole falling over animals thing.”Tony said studying him, sighing softly. “Morning.”Eliza said, looking and acting completely normal as she held out a glass of coffee and his cigarette for him as she settled at the table, settling in to simply eat her ceral. Which in turn set tony’s teeth on edge and made him want to run away. He knew something had happened, and all this normalness was making him twitchy.
 
Grant shrugged. "i needed the fresh air." he admitted. "i keep forgetting it's okay to go outside whenever i want." he admitted. "Garret discouraged such ideas, probably because he knew i'd run away if i wanted to." he admitted with a shrug. "if you really think about it, i have run away." he admitted with a grin before smiling at Elia, Tony couldn't tell but Grant looked worried about her, and upset still. she could probably tell even if he was hiding it well. "thanks." he chirped, lighting the Cigarette and slipping it into his mouth and taking a deep inhale because he was desperate for Nicotine. "Tony? are you okay?" Grant asked, blinking at the man. "your... fidgeting."
 
“Ahh. Yea, you have. Though does it count as running away when we flew?”Tony snickered a little. “...”Eliza tilted her head as she realized grant was still upset and worried, not sure how to bring it up without bringing up the whole conversation. And she was still upset and hurting herself enough to not want to talk about it. “Welcome.”Eliza said smiling a little. “Yea I’m okay, just thinking about what I want to build next.”Tony said trying to stop fidgeting, sipping his coffee and eating, hungry enough that he wasn’t going to leave simply because they made him twitchy.
 
he snorted a little and shook his head. "yeah i think it still counts." he admitted with a chuckle before focusing on his breakfast before blinking when there was a loud Thump. Steve had walked into the wall next to the doorway. Steve mumbled unhappily and shook his head, Grant dissolving into giggles, which e tried to hide, burying his head into his arms so all Steve could see where the shaking shoulders. not that Steve even looked at Grant. he just took a Cigarette, a cup of Coffee and started cooking more breakfast while trying to wake up. "did he really just do that?" Grant asked, having to make sure he'd actually seen what he'd thought he saw.
 
Eliza'Eliza ' s eulyes went huge as she stared at steve as he stumbled in, biting her lip to keep from laughing. Tony wasn't nearly as nice as he dissolved into laughter, nearly snorting coffee out his nose he was laugh ing so hard."which part? Him walking into the wall,or stealing a cigarette?"Eliza said once she was sure that she wasn't going to die laughIng at her boyfriend when she tried to talk.
 
Grant shook his head, unable to hold it in anymore, laughing when Tony snorted Coffee out his nose, dissolving into giggles when Steve mumbled unhappily but didn't actually do anything. "he.. walked... into the wall!" he laughed, shaking his head. "that's so awesome!" "no breakfast for you." Steve decided, which only made Grant giggle even more and shake his head. "Tony already fed me." "...no lunch for you then." Steve decided, making Grant pout. "but you have to feed me. i'm helpless, you don't want me to starve do you?" "go beg food from Tasha and Clint." Steve ordered, making Grant grimace. "no way! they scare me." "aaaw we got a compliment." Clint chirped as he walked in. "how nice of him to think we're scary. what's for food and why has Tony got Coffee all over himself?" "Steve walked into the wall." "...why? is he sick?" "no. just sleepy." "that's awesome." "i know right?"
 
"You won't starve. You might not be a good cook but you can make something."Eliza snickered giggling a little, her heart hurting at the sight of grants ever changing moods."It is indeed quite nice of him to find us terrifying."Natasha mused smirking a little looking around the room in bemusement."steve you're just going to have to forgive them for finding you amusing...though I gotta admit that was fairly cute."Eliza teased smiling at her boyfriend, feeling vaguely awkward and at a loss.
 
"nope. i'll starve." Grant chirped wisely. "Steve's the only person in the house who ever buys the food." he pointed out. "so i don't have any food to cook with." he admitted before wincing when Natasha came in. "i'm not amusing and you don't get food either." Steve decided, tamping out his cigarette before tossing it into the trash where it belonged and draining the last of his coffee before he handed food out to everyone, even Grant and Natasha. Grant looked rather amused as he dug into his poached eggs and french toast. "it wasn't cute. besides my eyes where closed so it's not my fault." Grant had to hide his head in his arms again to keep from laughing at Cap.
 
“well, you can always go get food yourself.”Natasha snickered a little. “You’re just mean steve.”Natasha teased rolling her eyes, knowing better then to take him serious. He probably wouldn’t deny her food, at least she didn’t think so. “No, I guess it’s not.”Eliza snickered a little as she ate, looking amused at steve’s explanation
 
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