Daddy why is mommy...

[Dark Desires]

[size=-2]Mommy is never coming back. She is taking a permanent vacation. Daddy, why is mommy covered in blood?[/size]

 

[Niokuma]

Because she's a vampire and her last feeding didn't go quite as planned.

Daddy, why is mommy chained to a big hook in the butcher's freezer?

 

[RustyRedHero]

She saw SAW too many times and decided to act the part.

Daddy, why is Mommy laughing at that frat boy who threw up in a moldy jack o' lantern and then smashed it against his head because he was super drunk and thought it was a beer can and immediately regretted every life decision he ever made?

 

[AnnaBeth]

Because it makes her remember the night we made you by accident.

Daddy, why is Mommy taking a bag of lemons to her bestie's house?

 

[sirix]

They are making Lemonade honey.

Daddy, why did mommy in her room with uncle jack?

 

[RustyRedHero]

Because mommy likes to play pattycake in private.

Daddy, why is mommy always on her knees around the house? It's already all clean.

 

[CassandraV]

You see dear, some things need to be cleaned, and other things need to be polished.

Daddy, why does Mommy keep the drawers next to her bed locked?

 

[AnnaBeth]

It's where she keeps the cookies.

Daddy, why does Mommy take so many selfies?

 

[lowblow emma]

In case she forgets what she looks like.

Daddy, why did Mommy tell me to ask you how to make a cream pie when she does all the cooking?

 

[CassandraV]

Mommy and Daddy have a long tradition of making those together.

Daddy, why is Mommy sitting funny today?

 

[Theoni]

She was working out rather vigorously last night, my dear.

Daddy, why does mommy scream in the middle of the night?

 

[sirix]

Terrible nightmares honey. Just... just ignore them and go beak to sleep.

Daddy, why is mommy like that under you and the blankets?

 

[AnnaBeth]

She's scared of the sausage monster.

Daddy, why do we buy so much baby oil? We don't even have a baby.

 

[Kosmik_Khaos]

Because Mommy likes to keep her skin baby soft.

Daddy why does Mommy have a collar by the bed?

 

[AnnaBeth]

In case she needs to walk the dog in the middle of the night.

Daddy, why was one of brother's socks so stiff before I washed it?

 

[CassandraV]

His after school practice was very rigorous.

Daddy, why do you always touch Mommy's bottom when you hug her?

 

[Kosmik_Khaos]

I'm congratulating her for a good job.

Daddy, what do I hear funny sounds coming from Mommy's room when Auntie Liz comes over?

 

[RustyRedHero]

Because Daddy likes Mommy's bottom and wants to give it a hug too.

Daddy? Why does Mommy have a buzzing Lightsaber? It doesn't even make the right noise.

 

[CassandraV]

It's a sonic screwdriver dear, not a lightsaber.

Daddy, why do you and Mommy take such long showers at the same time.

 

[GenderBender]

To save on water, dear.

Daddy, why does Mommy tell her friends that you're a stallion?

 

[AnnaBeth]

Because I like to horse play, sweetie.

Daddy, why does mommy call Suzie her scissor sister? They don't even sew.

 

[RustyRedHero]

It's for Arts and Crafts, dear.

Daddy, what does Mommy mean when she says I came buckets?

 

[Deiranoth]

It means that she brought a bunch of buckets over, sweetie.

Daddy, why does Mommy have red lines on her body?

 

[CassandraV]

She must have lay on a rumpled sheet.

Daddy, why does Mommy have a tattoo that says SPIKE on her back?

 

[Kosmik_Khaos]

Mommy used to be on the professional swedish beach volleyball team.

Daddy, why does Mommy say Uncle Steve can only use the back door?