The Mercenary (Beautiful_Disgrace and I)

"Wait, what?" Pit said, backpedaling a moment with a frown. "Wh...what do you mean?" Hold on...something was real funny about this guy...it kind of reminded him of that one time Palutena...yeah, yeah...that definitely looked familiar!
 
Chi closed the distance between them once more as the seductive grin remained on her face. "You don't know? Could you still be a virgin, Pit? I could take care of that if you want." The look on his face was amazing, totally worth being caught. "Come on, Pet likes it. That means you should like it too..."
 
"...Wait a minute," Pit frowned, leaning back a little when she leaned closer. "You're not a guy at all, are you? I can smell the difference!" For reasons that...he didn't want to explain, and shouldn't have to!
 
"What?! Smell?" Chi asked as her cheeks suddenly flushed with embarassment. Was she..no. She wasn't wet, it's not like he was attractive or anything! She only liked the boss...even though this guy was basically him in different colors. It had been a while since she..Ugh! Now she was getting turned on! This guy.. "It must be your imagination, I don't know what you're talking about. Idiot." She growled as she crossed her arms.
 
"No, no...you smell like a girl," Pit said, smug in his correct guess. "I can tell, I know what women smell like, you know. It's part of my job."
 
"Part of your job? You're a pervert...I don't even want to know what vulgar activities you engage in, but yes. If it actually matters, I'm a girl, and I'm Pit's girlfriend, so there." Chi stuck out her tongue and turned her back. Now her fun was ruined! And she still had to figure out where she was going with this lie!
 
"What!?" Pit hissed, face flush in admonishment. "Y...You're the pervert! Since when is it wrong for me to know you're a girl now!?" Wait, he had a girlfriend? How did he have a girlfriend before him!?
 
"It's not nice to call your girlfriend a pervert. You two are the same right? That means you're my boyfriend too, so you better start treating me right!" She was a pervert, but those little details could be ignored right now. She could fool Pit...but she wondered if the others would buy into her story...
 
"What?!" Pit frowned. "How does that work!? I mean..." he said, arms crossing in thought. "I...I guess I am, sort of...but I don't know...that doesn't seem right..."
 
"Well it is. You've never had a girlfriend so you wouldn't know. First order of business is that I need a place to sleep. A bed. But your friends can't know about me, okay? They won't understand.." She wouldn't even give him any room to argue...he seemed like the type that liked to follow orders unlike her Pit.
 
"H-Hey, I can't just let you hide out!" Pit grumbled. "You being here is a big problem! If people like you can get in, then that means anyone can! That's bad!"
 
"Hey, I told you, didn't I? I'm not Medusa's believer anymore...I meant that! I'm not hiding out. I've just been flying around for days with no food or shelter. I'm really tired and I can't think straight...and also I'm really shy around strangers." She leaned in close to him and rested her hands on his shoulders. "Please, Pit...just do this for me. You're my boyfriend..."
 
"...Fine," Pit sighed heavily. But he was telling Palutena...this was serious, he just...no, he wasn't her boyfriend, was he? He didn't know how that worked...

"C'mon...I...suppose you can take my bed." he grumbled.
 
Chi gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you..." She whispered in his ear. Damn, he smelled like her Pit as much as he looked like him, too! The only thing wrong was his attitude. She had to be careful, she didn't want to have sex with this wannabe unintentionally. She just had to keep this up long enough to figure out a plan.

She needed to spy.
 
Pit chuckled nervously, rubbing his neck with a wide grin. "Well...y'know!" he laughed faintly.

Well, what was the harm as long as he let Palutena know?
 
..She didn't know, but whatever. "I'm too tired to walk and fly, you should carry me. That's what the boss does, so you have to do it too." She jumped onto him, wrapping her legs and arms around his body. She would have fun with this.
 
"H-Hey!" Pit stammered, stumbling forward and hitting the ground face first with a pitiful groan. What? Pittoo actually let this happen to him!? Was he crazy!?
 
"I'm not that heavy." Chi muttered as she narrowed her eyes at him. "Come on, let's go. I'm tired. And hungry. I hope you have some food."
 
"Ugh..." Pit grumbled, getting back on his feet. "This is the worst thing ever...Pittoo actually lets you do this to him?" he muttered. "What kind of dummy is he?"
 
"No, he's far more romantic than you. He just sweeps me off my feet bridal style and carries me where I need to go." Chi said dreamily. She really missed him...a lot. But she had to do what she had to do. Medusa would ask why she was gone for so long, and she would have to tell her the truth.
 
"uh huh..." Pit grumbled. "We thinking about the same guy? Moody? Grumpy? Always ready to pick a fight and act like a jerk?"
 
"Yep. He's got a much kinder side, even if he doesn't want to admit it. And I'm the only one who's ever seen it. Is this the fastest you can go? You're not as fast as him if that's the case...that's two things you're not as good at. Sure you came first?" Chi grinned as she pulled on his wings.
 
"Oow! Hey!" Pit grumbled. "Ugh...if this is what a girlfriend is, I don't want one." he mumbled, but trodded to his place anyway. This was so dumb, how did anyone do this willingly? Did every woman just force it?
 
"Well maybe if you treated me nicer, I'd be nicer to you." Chi trailed her hand to the base of his wings and gently massaged the erogenous area. "I like being touched here, it feels good. So as a peace offering, I will make you feel good."
 
"Ugh...quit being so confusing!" Pit whined, wings twitching under her touch. Reminded him of when Palutena...did that thing, that felt really nice. He needed to study up on what these things were...who was a good person to-oh! Zelda! He had heard from Sona that Zelda was really good at that kind of thing!
 
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