The Asset (Avengers) Moon/Lady

“Probably all the way up. He’s not that observant.”Tony mused tilting his head a little before sulking as Doug put it out. “You just like ruining the fun. Besides, you’re just jealous your ass isn’t as hot. I mean, his can give third degree burns at the moment.”Tony grinned. If there was anything he did well, it was ham it up horribly. TJ giggled a little shaking his head slightly at the acting, startling a little as he was hugged.”But your hugging me....”he muttered sounding utterly confused. “yea, well, you’re just to hot to not want to touch.”Tony smirked a little, “Ewww he’s my dad Tony, and your boyfriend.”TJ whined a little before smirking at James, tilting his head. “No, the creepy part of this is that I’ve had sex with my step-father and nearly had sex in front of you. Totally creepy.”TJ whined a little even if he relaxed at the promise, relaxing slightly though
 
Doug snorted and Clint snickered. "i'm a party pooper." Doug agreed with a shrug. "never really learned how to be a fun guy." he admitted. "....i'm sorry TJ but your not getting my cock up your ass until you clear up that burning problem." "i can charm your cock to be heat resistant." "never mind then." "yes i am." James admitted. "i believe you need one." he admitted with a nod before he narrowed his eyes. "...you had sex with Tony?" he asked, his head cocked. "that's it! your grounded!" he paused and looked at Clint. "that's right, right?" "yeah. being grounded is a common enough punishment." "what exactly does it entail?" "mass amounts of boredom mostly." "ah. good, nothing painful or traumatic." Phil snickered a little and shook his head. "this is getting a bit weird, even for us." Bruce muttered as he walked in. "i mean honestly. it's bad enough that Jarvis had to tell me what was going on, but to walk into a conversation like this. ugh."
 
“You are a party pooper. I’m going to make you have fun sometimes.”Tony smiled a little. “...awwww.That sucks.I like your cock.”TJ whined a little looking amused more then aroused, looking amused as he snuggled against Phil’s chest, calming enough that he wasn’t actually burning James as he was held onto. “Oh.Well, yes I do.”he smiled before snickering.”I have. But it was long before you, since before he got together with the bitch-who-cant-be-named.”TJ smiled before stuttering.”What?I’m grounded?”He stared before looking up at bruce. “Bruce, if you hadn’t been buried in lab work and threatened me with bodily harm last time I interrupted and messed up your experiment, I wouldn’t have had jarvis tell you what was wrong.”Tony said making a face at the other man, snickering a little at bruce’s reaction.
 
Dpug shrugged. "Natasha is all the fun i really need." he admitted with a chuckle watching Phil stroke TJ's hair. "good... i'm going to stop now." James admitted as he stepped away, offering TJ a soft sort of smile that usually only Natasha received. "we could just call her lukavyy" "Evil One? i like it." "yes. grounded." James stated. "you have to stay inside and be waited on hand and foot and not be hounded by the press for... a month." James decided, Doug burying his head in his arms to stifle his laughter. Bruce just blinked at them. "yes... well.... is there any coffee?" "...Bruce? when was the last time you slept?" "uhm... what day is it?" "....go sleep." "but i want Coffee." Bruce... good god he Whined!" "You've infected him!" Doug gasped, recoiling away from Tony. "Tony infected Bruce with TONY NESS!!!!"
 
“I better be all the fun you need.”Natasha said smiling slightly. “okay.”TJ smiled a little as James stepped away, relaxing even more cooling off enough clint could probably snuggle him and be safe, before smirking. “I like it.We’re calling her Lukavvy.”Tony decided tilting his head a little snickering at James’ ‘punishment’. “Oh,I think I can do that.”TJ smiled looking amused. “Coffee.Coffee sounds amazing.”Tony perked up at the mention of his favorite beverage before glaring at Doug.”I have not. As if I’d ever touch you. Your ass isn’t hot enough. And your wife scares me.”Tony huffed a little. “Bruce, go get some sleep.”Tony ordered watching the other man. Despite the good night’s sleep, the man was edging into slight manicness, his brilliant mind circling around to many problems and worries, to the point he was starting to not focus well. Which meant he needed coffee. Holding out his cup towards james he smirked a little.”Coffee.”
 
he grinned. "of course you are. without you i'm no more exciting than a wet rag that was used to clean a toilet." "gross, Doug. just gross." Doug just snickered while Clint snuggled TJ and grinned, glad that his lover had calmed down. "good." James stated. "because you have to." he stated, winking at TJ before blinking as Tony wigged out over the Coffee. "my wife is scary." Doug agreed, looking delighted. "it's part of why she's so hot. i like a little terror in my sex." he admitted with a snigger at most of the rooms looks of horror. "i can't... i still have to calibrate the...." and he fell into a sleepy mumble about stuff no one understood. not even Tony, considering it was about DNA, genetics and some sort of viral infestation in one of his lab rats. Bruce ended up falling asleep on the table as James gave Tony a refill on his coffee. "this is your last cup Tony." James stated. "Jarvis says your only allowed ten cups in the morning."
 
“,...Gross.”Tony grumbled shuddering a little at that mental image, snickering as he imaged doug as a towel being used to clean....yea. He was starting to get a little weird, with his blood more caffeine then water at the moment, and his own emotional response to the idea of being married. No matter what steve said, the man wasn’t as calm as he pretended to be. “A little terror is always good. Gets things going.”Natasha smirked at the looks of horror she was getting. “No, you don’t.Sleep.”natasha ordered looking amused as bruce rambled off into sleep. Tony shook his head in amusement at bruce before frowning at James, tilting hsi head. “I can have more coffee. I know when I should stop having coffee.”He said sipping the drink, sighing quietly as he settled into his seat and eating the eggs and bacon steve had made, simply relaxing, at least trying to and figure out what to do the rest of the day, knowing that no one was going to be going anywhere until they were sure both doug and tj were going to be.
 
Doug just grinned. he could be fun, it was just that most people didn't like his brand of humor. "mmm i like terror. it's why i always rode the scary rides in the amusement parks. the ones TJ would refuse to go on." Doug admitted with a snigger. "Teej always did have more of a self preservation trait than i did." he admitted. "you can't. your getting weird." James stated simply as he ate his own food. a smoothie and a pancake. without syrup. without anything at all actually. the others where all eating the same, save Bruce who was asleep and clutching his half empty coffee cup like it was a lifeline. "Bruce is feeling okay isn't he? he's been burying himself in work..." "he's feeling guilty and ashamed." Clint admitted with a sigh. "he's been taking Psychology courses you know. because he thinks he doesn't do enough for us. he's blaming himself for what happened to Tony. seams to think he should have known what Lukavvy was." he shrugged. "he'll calm down on his own. he's not reaching dangerous habits yet."
 
“Well, that explains why you like me.”Natasha teased amused as she kissed Doug’s cheek, looking worried though she was watching tj as the man simply cuddled against his boys. “I’m weird?Your the one eating a pancake without syrup.”Tony whined a little even as he ate, relaxing a little before looking at bruce. Huffing out a sigh. “He shouldn’t. If anyone should have known, it was me. But she was good. We’ll see that he’s okay.”Tony smiled a little sighing softly as he relaxed, closing his eyes, simply trying to enjoy being with the others and not freak out as much as he wanted to. He could relax, would never have to tell his boys just how freaked out he was feeling, knowing that they’d be upset over it.
 
Doug chuckled. "one of the reasons." he agreed with a playful grin. "i don't like syrup." James stated simply. "Steve puts strawberry in my pancakes." he admitted, shoving another mouthful into his mouth. "you couldn't have known Tony. after all, when you first hired her you did how many background checks? three?" six. but that was standard procedure for SI. "i'll get him to bed." Phil promised, kissing TJ's forehead. "i'll be right back." he promised as he moved over to Bruce, muttering a few words that was not in any sort of human language and then hauled the far too skinny scientist up and out of the room with a grunt. "i think Bruce needs to get laid." "he can't. his... stuff, is poisonous to humans." "...seriously? his cum kills?" "yup. or at least makes them very sick." "that sucks."
 
“I know.”Tony smiled rolling his eyes a little, leaning over to kiss James’ cheek as he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Well, if I couldn’t know with 6 background checks, then Bruce couldn’t have known.I’ll talk to him.”Tony said worried for his friend, smiling quietly as phil carried him to bed. “It’s fairly bad, not to mention his pulse spikes during sex and he nearly changes.”Tony pointed out sighing softly, worried for his friend.. Looking at the others he smiled as he finished eating, “I’m heading to the lab.”Tony muttered kissing his boys as he headed off. TJ frowned watching his go, looking thoughtful and bemused after his friend, worried about him. Because it was easier to worry about whatever was bothering tony, then about the fact that he had a father who wanted him, or deal with the emotional fallout of knowing elaine and bud were hydra. So much better really. not ready to face that emotional storm.
 
James smiled a little as he studied Tony. "that's not how it works Tony." Clint admitted with a shake of his head. "he looks back, picks out her behavior and realizes he should have been suspicious and blames himself, forgetting that he's only seeing those behaviors now because he knows." Phil stated simply.

a half a week later and it was all ready and Doug was more scared in his entire like. he fidgeted in his suit and tried to flatten his hair. Anne was already in Shield custody, so they only had to worry about Elaine showing up. well, that and Natasha changing her mind. never mind that she'd already signed the paperwork, what if she didn't want him anymore?! "TJ... i think i'm having a panic attack." Doug admitted, his 'political face' was in place, as it always was when he felt the stirring of any negative emotions. it was a training he could not quite overcome. "TJ... what if she changes her mind!? what if Elaine shows up!? what if the tower is bombed while we're all out there helpless? what if..." "shut up already." Loki ordered. "one. Natasha is getting ready, i checked on her ten seconds ago using a clone. two, Elaine won't show up, she's being distracted by the fact that Anne has been captured by Shield and by the fact that Tony paid three hundred people to mob the white house with picket signs. and three, i have this entire Tower warded against malicious intent, bombs, assassins, thieves, verbally abusive assholes and other such people cannot get in." "...really? i didn't know magic could work like that." "it can if you invest the time."
 
Tj sighed as he stuided his twin, and as bad as it was, was enjoying the fqct that for once he wasnt the twin having a meltdoen."doug, your kitten loves you. Personally I'd be more worried about accidentally shocking her in the middle of sex then her leaving right now."tj pointed out because while doug had gotten amazing control, the random shocks happened every once in awhile. And while tj himself had gotten some control it still wasnt perfect." And that james still hasnt given you your shovel talk. Dont worry doug. Youre getting married, you poor bastard. "Tj teased because he wasnt against marriage, he just enjoyed giving his twin a hard time.
 
Doug gave his brother a small glare. "she'll kill you if he finds out you called her that." he warned, though he did sound vaguely amused. "i did actually... electrocute her..." he admitted. "turns out she has a bit of an electricity fetish. it was awesome... i blew up my phone again too." he admitted with a sigh. now they all knew why Thor was so bad with electronics. much like Doug, Thor was always emitting some sort of electrical charge. only he'd never had to learn control because Asgard didn't have electronics. Doug was already far more advanced than Thor was, even if the Thunder god was full of good advice. "...shit! you don't think he's going to come and do it NOW do you?!" "he said it wasn't right to give his own son and/or daughter the Shovel Talk." Loki stated. "he's decided not to do it... not that he ever really figured out what it was." Loki admitted, looking amused as he watched Doug pace. "is he usually like this?"
 
"I know.but she'll never find out so its all okay."tj snickered before whimpering a little."i could have lived without hearing a world class assassin had a thing for electricity. .much like I could have lived without knowing james likes being held down and steve has a kink for bossing tony around."tj grinned just to amuse doug watchi g him pace."I'm telling you, just let tony work on a new phone. He'll enjoy it and stop conplaining when you keep buying a blackberry."tj smirked a little."no I dont think he is.but watching you freak out was amusing."tony snickered a little as he walked into the room studying doug."do you want a drink? I have the good stuff." "Tony no youre not getting him drunk, and yes loki he's usually like this when he's worried."
 
he snorted. "i might tell her if you annoy me too much." he admitted with a snicker and a shake of his head. "i knew Steve was a kinky bastard." he muttered as he continued to pace. "no. it's my phone and i don't want Tony doing weird things to it." he grumbled. "the last phone he gave me picked my nose for me. gross!" he complained, shaking his head. "i don't think i could stomach a drink right now, and i'm not worried!" he stated. "she loves me and she will be there when the music starts and everything is going to be FINE!" he declared, yelping when everything electrical in the vicinity exploded, let loose a discharge that rendered it useless or started smoking. "oh god i can't do this." Doug groaned, sinking to a sitting position and buried his face into his knees as lightning skittered across his skin and his suit like he was wearing electrified clothing.
 
"Noo you wouldnt do that.thats just mean."tj snickered a little before frowning a little before laughing. "It picked your nose? Youre lucky it didnt give you a handjob....just tell him to not to do theweird stuff and get steve to enforce the rule."tj smirked a little. "Okay no drinks and you are worried, even if you have no reason to be. Just relax."tony sighed wincing as the electrical stuff exploded looking around before sighing quietly and texting natasha.

"Doug?"natasha asked from the other side of the door, not coming in as to ruin the tradition of not seeing the bride, but sounding worried for her soon to be husband.
 
he smirked a little. "it is mean. i'm good at being mean." he admitted before paling. "tony wouldn't really... not... i hate him sometimes, i do." he admitted as he shook his head. "i'll be fine once i get my powers under control." he stated firmly before completely melting down.

"...Nat?" Doug asked, sounding panicked again. "what are you doing here?! you should be getting ready! you're not calling it off are you!? your calling it off." he sounded quite distraught. "she's not calling it off!" Loki snapped. "calm down! your having a panic attack that's all!" Loki promised Doug who just shook his head. "everything's happening all at once and you haven't dealt with it properly. you need to get yourself together before Natasha marries you without you being there. it can be done! i've seen it!" "....i'm okay... sorry. i'm okay." Doug gasped, realizing he WAS having a panic attack. a big one. "i'm not okay...." and he puked into a wastebasket. he felt better though, a lot better actually.
 
"He wouls. Thus is tony we're talking about. A man who wanted to have sex for the tapent show.you know hes capable of putting a phone handjob app on."

"What? No.tony said you were having problems. Do you need anything?"natasha said sounding so worried before wincing realizing he was having a panic attack."ibusec, do you need me to come in? Or get james?"she said having found that of all of them james was the one who had the easiest time talking any of them calmer
 
Doug shook his head. "No! don't come in! it's bad luck, or... something, i forget but i'm not supposed to see you! why is that anyway?" he complained. "it's a stupid rule, we should change it. unless there's a really good reason for it... maybe it IS bad luck!" Doug, surprisingly enough, was exceedingly superstitious. "no need to get me." James stated calmly. "Loki texted me." he admitted as he slipped into the room and knelt in front of Doug and started talking in Russian. "...i don't speak Russian." Doug complained, even if he already sounded calmer. Doug had taken the fact that James was his father with great delight. out of everyone in the tower, aside from Natasha, James was the one he trusted the most... even if James scared him to death sometimes. "sorry. i was telling you to breath and to calm down." James admitted. "you're being entirely stupid. Natasha loves you more than anyone else in the world. of course she's not having second thoughts, even if you did blow up her phone again." James promised, glancing at the door. "Natasha is already married to you, sworn to you and your insulting her by thinking otherwise." "i don't want to insult her!" Doug agreed, sounding horrified by the idea.
 
“Because it the days of arranged marriages, the father of the bride was worried that if the groom saw the bride before the wedding they’d refuse to marry them. So it’s not that bad of luck, unless there’s something you want to tell me.”Natasha said looking worried even as she stepped aside to let James into the room. “We should teach him russian, Jamie.”Tony muttered because he’d picked up a few words here and there, simply from listening to james talk to natasha. “And no, we wouldn’t want that. Insulting natasha is a deadly thing.”TJ muttered smiling a little nudging the other man, looking worried. “You ready?It’s that time.”He muttered.
 
he blinked a bit. "what, seriously? that's kind of twisted..." Doug admitted as he shook his head. "no. i think i'm okay now... just a panic attack. being stupid. i'm kind of good at that you know." he pointed out. "i should learn Russian." he agreed. "Natasha likes to sweet talk me in Russian... at least, i think it's sweet talking... it could be Death Threats." he admitted, sort of babbling. still in a bit of a shock but he would be mostly alright. long enough to get married at any rate. "already!?" he asked, his voice a squeak, panic ratcheting up even as he got to his feet and followed Tony to the Isle. Tony was the ring bearer and TJ was his best man. the others all had their roles to play as well but he couldn't rightly remember what they where. he stood in position, waiting for Natasha and James. both of whom where waiting for the music to start. "you know he's only panicking because he loves you right?" James asked with a grin. "all men who truly love their wives do this. think they won't be good enough husbands and the like." he glanced at her. "you look beautiful you know. i never said it when you where growing up. but i love you, and i've never been more proud in my entire life." he paused. "well. maybe when i got Steve on the Tiltawhirl."
 
“It is.”Natasha agreed tilting her head before smiling.”I know you are, Ibusec.”Natasha smiled. “...Well, for Natasha death threats might be sweet talking.” “I heard that Tony.” “I know. But its still true.”Tony smiled a little watching the other man before nodding.”Yea, its time. Let’s go, Dougie.”Tony snickered a little as he led the other out of the room, amusement bright in his eyes as he smirked up at his ‘flower girl’, looking at his tall blond. “You should be in a dress. You’d look good in a dress.”He muttered as they got in the right places.

“I know. It’d be more amusing if I wasn’t worrying about him panicking himself into passing out.’Natasha said smiling a little as she slid a arm into James, giving him a half hug before settling into their walking positions, smirking at him. “Oh. Well, I’d say that explains some of Tony’s recent insanity, but we all know he’s the wife in your relationship.”She teased a little before flushing brightly as James looked at her, giving him a shy smile.”Thanks. You’re looking fairly good yourself. I’m amazed Clint got your original uniforms right.”She muttered looking at the military dress greens, amused that both steve and james were wearing their original dress clothes, laughing quietly. “The tiltawhirl, really?”She muttered smiling quietly as she listened for the music, flushing a little as she heard the first strands, stepping forward, nervous despite knowing doug was there.
 
he had to smile when she called him Ibusec. he loved it when she called him that. "shut up Tony." Steve ordered as he dumped flower petals on the ground. Clint was taking the photo's, the traitor and Phil refused to be in a feminine role... apparently being a Flower Girl actually meant something to the Fey and he absolutely refused to play the part and suggested Clint. who passed off the duty onto Steve who couldn't say no or pass it on because he was too nice.

"he chuckled a little and nodded. "i don't think he'll pass out during the ceremony, i'll happen when your dancing no doubt. or he'll sit in his shower and cry for a while." he admitted looking amused. "yeah Steve mentioned getting married and i think Tony's wigging out a bit about it." he admitted, looking a bit concerned. "not sure how to calm him down about it..." he admitted before he grinned and tugged on his dress greens. "Clint does amazing work really. he made your dress right?" he asked, examining the gorgeous material. "yep. he didn't even make it off the machine before he was puking on everything. i managed to set it up that he had to go on without me. i don't think he ever really forgave me for that." he admitted with a smirk before he gently kissed her cheek as the music started. letting her walk slowly as he chuckled at the sight of the piano playing itself. Phil had charmed it so TJ wouldn't have to play.
 
“nooo, cause I’m wearing cap girl underwear, you should wear a dress.”Tony pouted a little as he settled into the spot next to TJ, looking to pleased with himself.

“...Probably dancing.”Natasha agreed smiling slightly before sighing. “Tony’s not good with emotional things. Either make him talk about it or he’ll work it out in his head....though it’s showing no signs of calming down....Just talk to him.”She muttered kissing his cheek before nodding. “He did. He really does do amazing work.”She smiled shaking her head at the idea of steve puking on everything. “I doubt he did forgive you”

Natasha smiled as they got to the front, blushing ever so slightly as she let go of james’ arm and slipped her hands into doug’s. “Hey.”She muttered before tilting her head towards TJ, in utter bemusement that he’d gotten his certificate online to be able to marry them. “Now, Douglas Charles Barnes, do you take Natalia Anastatisia Rommanov as your wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward?”
 
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