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Save my Mind(Avengers)-Lady/Moon

“Yes, it is.”He said before grinning nodding. “I do. The suit is really cool. I’ll have to show you next time we go around the house.”Tony smiled. “He did. But loki, you were hurting, everyone lashes out and hurts people when they’re like that. You just...took it to a extreme that most mortals aren’t capable of.”Merry said standing, “get some sleep loki.”She said smiling as she watched him fall asleep. “Sleep. I’m going to get some work done, yell if you need anything.”he muttered waiting until he was asleep before leaving.

“Loki!?What are you doing!?”Tony scowled looking annoyed as he walked into the med lab, looking very,very annoyed at having loki looking up videos. “Leave Jarvis alone. Just don’t look at the videos, please.”he said trying to reason with the amnesiac.
 
Loki grinned a little. "i'd like that." he admitted as he shook his head. he didn't want to admit that he wasn't at fault. he was, and he knew it. "...i need to know." Loki admitted, glaring at hte TV. "traitor." he complained of Jarvis as he looked at Tony. "please... i need to see..." he looked back down at the Tablet. watching himself attack the people of Shield, frowning as he watched. what was he trying to accomplish here? he wiggled his fingers when the Tablet froze and glared at the TV again. "stop it!" he demanded of the electronic man, well aware that Jarvis was trying to stop him. "i want to see what i did!"
 
“Loki, please don’t. You’re going to remember soon enough, do you really have to watch it?”Tony said sounding pissy, because he was afraid of just how traumatized loki was going to be before sighing, when he realized what loki was doing. That loki wasn’t going to give it up. “J, just play it.”He said simply, eyes pained as he sank down onto the bed next to loki, sitting with him because he had no idea what to tell him, or how to help, but he could stay with him and help him deal with the emotions afterwards.
 
Loki nodded. "i do. i have to see." his voice held that tone, the one that said that he wasn't going to give in. he watched the highlights now that Jarvis was helping him. "...i don't understand." he whispered as he watched himself be taken away. "i don't understand. how can you stand to have me here?" he asked softly as he looked up at Tony, confused and frantic. "why would i do this!? what could possibly have been so bad that i would do this!?"
 
Tony swallowed bracing himself, because he was so not the person who should be having this conversation, this was merry’s job, or thor’s. But...he felt out of his depth, but couldn’t hurt loki by bailing out and not helping him either. “You were raised by odin and frigga, as their son. You found out after a misadventure to Jotunhiem that you were really a frost giant, adopted to stop a war. You sorta of lost it after that, according to thor. And I can live with having you here, because one, I’ve done plenty of things I’m utterly ashamed of, two, you’re brother’s a friend and loves you, and three, cause I could have been you, if I hadn’t had pepper and Rhodey. I would have totally been a evil genius at one time in my life if the cards had been played differently."
 
Loki looked confused at Tony. "...oh..." he muttered, looking down at the Tablet in his hand. "...the Jotun where monsters." he complained. "we grew up, Thor and i, hearing horror stories about them... i guess i can understand why i... freaked..." he admitted before looking up at Tony. "you could never have done what i did." Loki whispered softly as he set the tablet aside. "but thank you." he muttered as he leaned against the other. swallowing thickly. "will you make me a promise?" he asked hopefully. "if i ever... be like that again... will you lock me up so i can't hurt anyone else?"
 
“Yes. That is what Thor said. He was upset because he didn’t understand why Odin allowed you to hear the stories, when he knew your hertiage wouldn’t be able to be hidden forever.”Tony sighed quietly before making a face. “You didn’t know me then. I was...totally out of control. If pepper hadn’t been around to catch me, I probably would have had a different kind of revelation after my kidnapping.”he said twitching a little staring at him, trying to decide what to say. Not wanting to tell him that was how he’d gone missing in the first place, from a locked cell. Nodding jerkily he swallowed hard. “I will.”
 
Loki shook his head. "i guess it doesn't matter." he muttered. "i'm not a proper Jotun anyway. i'd never be accepted there. can't go to Asgard either cus everyone hates me... tried to destroy the earth... i really made a mess of things." he muttered with a sigh before he looked at Tony and smiled. "i guess, even the best of people can have their bad times huh?" he asked, leaning against Tony. "thank you Tony." Loki muttered as he rested against the other. "maybe that's what made me so..." he hesitated, looking for the right word. "i never had any freinds." he admitted softly. "i never got along with anyone really. they thought i was weird because i didn't like to fight. i liked my magic." he admitted as he played with Tony's hand. "you have good freinds... i'm glad they don't mind that i'm staying here." he admitted as he closed his eyes. "Tony?... how badly hurt was i?"
 
“You did, but we all make a mess of things every now and then.”Tony smiled at him before nodding. “We do. And I’ve never claimed to be the best of people.”He said shifting, letting the other lay against him, wrapping a arm around his shoulders, closing his eyes. “Friends make a difference. If I hadn’t had the avengers this last year, it would have been bad...you never had that. But now you do...though, Clint might yell at you. You did fuck with his head after all....”He said because he so knew that when he eventually got away from loki long enough, clint was going to yell at him for having him here, of so readily accepting the god. So far, he’d managed to avoid it. Startling out of his thoughts a little he looked down at him, “...bad enough that even being nearly immortal, I hadn’t thought you’d live through it.”He muttered shuddering at the memory.
 
Loki smiled a little. "yeah well... at least you didn't wage war on a world." he mused with a chuckle. "and you don't have to claim anything, i know it's true." he admitted with a smile as he felt the other holding him. it felt nice to be so close to someone. "it's okay if Clint yells at me." Loki admitted. "i'd yell at me too." he admitted with a smile. "i hope i didn't hurt his brain though." he admitted, looking a little bit worried. "...that bad huh..." he muttered, shuddering a little as he closed his eyes. "i can't remember it at all." he admitted. "i don't really remember much of anything at all really. even though i just saw it, i don't actually remember it... do you think maybe i'll never remember?" he sounded rather hopeful about that. "i know i'm starting to remember some things, but maybe i won't remember much else."
 
Tony made a face at the idea of loki knowing he was a good man, but didn’t try to protest. He’d let loki think it, even if he personally knew that it wasn’t true. “Hm, well, I’ll tell him that. I think he’s been avoiding talking to you, cause he really can’t be civil....but he’d probably feel better if he could say something..I don’t know if you did damage or not, he doesn’t like doctors, and he’s been resisting pretty much everything to do with the time he was under your control. Wont talk or anything...”Tony smiled slightly looking down at him before nodding. “Yes, that bad...and it’s probably a good thing you can’t remember.”He said pressing a kiss to the other’s hair.”You’ve already remembered enough for now.”He said before biting his lip, shaking his head. “No...I think you’ll forget some, and remember some...I was talking to Merry, and she says that some people, who suffer like you did, only remember bits and pieces, but it’s truly rare to forget everything...so you’ll get some of it back I think, but we’re here to help you when you do...”
 
he smiled a little. "alright. i wouldn't mind letting him vent his anger a little." he assured tony, well aware that telling Tony 'he can beat me up if he wants to' wasn't going to go down well. "i can understand not wanting to talk about it... i'm not sure how i managed something like that though, the kind of magic that i use isn't usually capable of something like that." he admitted, frowning as he shook his head, snuggling into Tony. "maybe Merry can help him? Merry is pretty amazing." he admitted with a smile. he'd talked to her for over an hour the day before, and she always made him feel better. "yeah, i've remembered more than enough..." he admitted with a small shudder as he smiled up at the other. "thank you." he muttered, closing his eyes. "i think i'm really going to take a nap now. i'm tired." he admitted with a sigh, closing his eyes.

he was awake a few hours later, and was running the Tablet again, much to Jarvis's amusement. learning about everything he could about the history of earth. learning about the evolution of the phone, the TV, the Computer, various kinds of foods, vehicles and buildings. anything that caught his interest he googled. "Tony! i want to try Hamburgers! and Chinese, and goat!" Loki declared once tony reappeared. having been cornered by an irate Clint and yelled at for a good while.
 
“Good. I’ll tell him.”Tony smiled a little looking down at him before smiling. “You know, not a bad idea. I’ll mention it to her.”he said glad merry was helping loki, before nodding. “You have. Just rest, I’ll be around.”He said smiling as he dozed himself, before going in search of merry. When he returned he paused at the sight of loki trying to everything. “...Goat?”he paused trying to make sense of what he’d just heard.

“Clint?”Merry said as he paused at the opening to one of the vents, knowing from natasha about the man’s habit of hiding in them, and knowing this one lead to the nest he’d made for himself. Wanting to talk, but also wanting to be invited to talk, not about to traumatize him more then she ahd to.“Can I come up?”
 
Loki smiled a little and nodded. "goodnight." he murmured happily. "Yes! Goat! see? don't all humans eat goat? it seams like they d according to Gloogle. oh, and i wanna try chicken, and lamb, and this thing called Steak, and Pizza, and Tacos, and everything!" well, at least Tony had a new 'lets try that weird food' partner. mostly because Loki wouldn't know it was weird.

there was a long silence and then the Vent popped open and Clint leaned out. "i doubt you'd be able to get in here." he admitted, lookign amused. most of the vents where closer to the ceiling, and all of them where big enough for Clint to climb through. he had made a massive 'nest' in one of the larger open spaces in the venting. big enough that he could stand up, and lay flat without hitting his head. he was quite proud of it, even if no one else had seen it, because no one else wanted to go crawling through the vents. "what did you need?" he asked curiously.
 
“Uh...I guess?Some people would eat goat. In other countries probably.”Tony said sounding thoughtful before smiling.”And it’s google.”he said before tilting his head. “okay, we can do that.”He grinned, because he loved weird foods. “So, what do you want to try first?We’ll order something for dinner.”

Merry smiled as she looked up at him, pausing to gauge the distance before dragging over the chair she’d brought with her and put it under the vent, making a motion for him to move back before gripping the edge of the vent and hauling herself up, panting with the effort as she slumped into the vent. “Nothing. Tony mentioned that you had a nest up here. So I thought I’d come and see the cool archer’s nest.”she said smiling trying to gauge his mood before she brought up why tony really had sent her up to talk to him.
 
Loki grinned a little and nodded. "yes. Goat is supposed to be really good for you and everything." he admitted. "i want to try This!" he declared, holding out the Tablet so that Tony could see the plate of Spaghetti, next to a slice of Lasagna, next to a bowl filled with Ravioli. "these look really good." Loki admitted. "it's called 'italian'. and i like pasta!" he admitted happily.

Clint laughed a little as she pulled over the chair and he pulled back inside and helped her inside. "you alright?" he asked, looking amused. "yeah! i have a nest. i like how it's high and enclosed." he admitted. "come on up." he offered, turning and leading the way. he made it look so graceful and effortless, but vent walking was actually fairly hard because you couldn't get all the way up on hands and knees so you almost had to belly crawl. he popped out into the large open space, where a vent led to the outside so he could see the impressive view without having to worry about falling out. there where huge blankets folded up and piled onto the floor, making the floor soft and comfortable. there where all kinds of... well, trinkets inside as well. various things that meant a lot to Clint, a picture of his parents, a medal he'd won for being the best in phys ed as a child, a picture of all the Avengers and a few books and a tiny TV and a game console. it was like a man pad, only without all the macho ugly stuff. "pretty awesome huh?" he asked with a grin. "so. you wanted to do your psycho hoodoo on me right?" he asked, looking amused.
 
“Well, I’ll have to see about getting goat. I don’t know where I’ll get it, but I’ll find some.”Tony said before looking at the tablet, looking a little startled at the normal looking food. “Well, that is easily done. CAp is good at it. J?Can you ask Steve if he’ll make some ravioli for dinner tonight?” “Of course sir.”

“Fine. That was harder then I thought.”She snickered a little as she let him help her up, smiling at him a little. “Well, that’s the whole point of having it in the vents. It’s enclosed and protected.”She teased watching him go for a moment, before growling quietly. “You make this look to easy, Clint.”She whined even as she followed, glad that she was short enough that it was a little easier then it would have been if she’d been truly tall. Looking startled as she saw the view he had she laughed a little, looking around at the place, shaking her head. “You have like the perfect man cave up here.”She teased before nodding. “it is fairly awesome.”She said before looking at him, “No, only if you wanted me to. Tony just asked me to make sure you were okay. Said you spent some time with loki.”She said simply, leaving it up to him if he talked or not.
 
Loki beamed at Tony. "we could go to a restaurant! i've never been to one of those before. there's lots of restaurants that sell 'fancy' meat!" he admitted. "says so right here." he admitted, holding up the Tablet again, showing a New York food critic page speaking about rare meats like goat, ostrich, bison, and alligator that was cooked and served in New York and surrounding areas.

he chuckled a little. "it takes a bit of practice." he admitted with a smile. "well, that's true." he admitted with a chuckle. "plus, no enemy would think to look in the vents." he admitted with a grin. "and of course i make it look easy, i'm in here all the time." he reminded her. "nah, i'm still working on getting some of the bigger things in here." he admitted with a chuckle before he sighed and settled himself next to the vent, looking outside. "...i did. he's..." he frowned. "i want to hate him, i really do. but i saw what they did to him. whoever they where..." he sighed. "you know... when Loki controlled me... there was a transfer of mental impressions... it's the only way i can really explain it." he admitted. "while i was under, i knew how Loki felt... he was..." he frowned. "it was like the time when i was sixteen. and i was upset because i found out that my father was dead. i was so angry, and so upset. i didn't know whether to cry or to destroy something." he admitted. "i know i should hate him, but... i guess i kind of understand why he did it." he admitted, glancing at her. "i don't like him. but i'm not going to beat on him... plus i've been watching him from the Vents. he's really... you know, not insane but cutting it close." he admitted, tapping his own head.
 
Tony grinned looking amused as he took the tablet o read the reviews."it amuses me that you've gone through thia much trouble to find food."he teased truly amused tht the man who'd tried to take over the world was going through so much trouble to try and get food.

"I'll just have to practice then."she snickered a little before making a face."how are you going to get bigger stuff in here?the vents not that big."she said frowning lightly before tilting her head,listening to him.nodding. "I see...you aren't the first gictim to feel understanding towards their attaker,though you are probably the first to get such a look at their emotions...and yes,he is. Though I think stark's going to drive him insane "she teased just hoping or a smile even if she knew tony was doing amazingly well being nicer then he normally was."..you're spying on him?"she said snickering a little at the idea
 
Loki blinked a little at Tony. "but i like food..." he stated softly as he looked at the Tablet, his head tilted. "i think they starved me... i guess i didn't realize how obsessed i'd gotten about food...." he admitted before shrugging and holding it up again. "tell Steve the cook i want this too! it's called a dessert." on it was a cheesecake with caramel and chocolate. "it comes after dinner. that's what the Di-tio-nary said." Loki admitted, stumbling over the strange word.

he chuckled a little at her. "i don't know, that's the problem." he admitted, looking amused. "yeah, it's called Stockholm syndrome." he admitted, sounding amused. "though, usually people are kidnapped, not mind invaded." he admitted before he snorted. "please, Loki's so infatuated with Tony right now it isn't even funny.' he pointed out. "if they don't climb into bed with each other before the weak is out then i'll eat slugs." he admitted with a chuckle. "and of course i'm spying on him!" he stated with a shake of his head. "here, i'll show you." he led the way up another vent and slid down another before they stopped at a vent that looked down into Loki's room, where Loki was chattering about how pies and tarts were not the same thing! "he's a bit food obsessed." Clint admitted, looking amused.
 
“...Oh. That makes sense. When I got home from my own kidnapping, I kept eating even if before I usually could go days without eating. It was the choice to not eat...after I just couldn’t stop eating.”Tony smiled a little before grinning. “We’ll have dessert. And I’m so totally changing his name to that. He’s no longer the good captain, he’s the cook.”tony snickered before smiling. “Dictionary.”Tony said understanding what he meant, and gently correcting him.

“Hmmm...Ask tony. It’s his tower, if nothing else, have him open the outer vent, and use the suit to flew the large stuff in that way.”She eoffered before making a face at him. “I know what stockholm syndrome is. I did go to school.”She snickered pointing it out before smiling. “Tony’s just as infaturated. It’s fairly amusing....and ew....you wont have to though. As soon as loki feels well enough to do it, they will.”she smiled before smiling as he led her to the vent, looking amused as they were looking at loki. “Most starved people are.”She muttered smiling as she watched them.
 
Loki shrugged. "it's weird. i can't actually remember being starved... but, i just feel like if i don't have food then i'll go hungry..." he admitted. "i can't really explain it." he admitted as he smiled at Tony. "good captain?" Loki asked, blinking a little. "dictionary." he repeated easily, already googling more things before turning as his Hamster poked it's head out of it's little hut. "Acorn! your finally awake." Loki chirped, delighted. making Clint in the air vent smile a little. it was amusing that a man who had hated so much, could love such a tiny hamster so easily.

"...i don't want Tony in here. he'll try to improve it." he complained, shaking his head. "i'll just have to keep the big stuff in my room." he admitted. "yeah well, you might have but i didn't." Clint admitted. "i had to look it up." he admitted. "it too a while." not many would know it, but Clint never actually went to high school. he had the basic education, he could read and write and do math, but he'd stopped going to school shortly before middle school. "it's highly amusing how Loki dotes after that rat." Clint admitted with a snort. "how someone who had been so evil, could love such a tiny creature so much... sort of gives you hope for the human race, doesn't it?"
 
“Somewhere in your head, you know it. You just can’t remember it.”Tony said smiling softly before snickering. “Uh-huh. Steve is Captain America, and wears a spangly outfit. J?Can we see a picture?”Tony said snickering as jarvis showed a picture of steve as the captain on the tv, smiling slightly at loki’s utter delight that the hamster was awake. “You’re good with him.”He smiled wiggling his fingers through the bars of the cage to absently stroke the hamster’s head.

“....True. You’ll figure something out.”merry smiled before studying him, looking thoughtful. “....Clint. Did you finish school?I mean, did you want to?”she said, guessing at what he was hiding. After all, she’d read all their files, and while his schooling wasn’t in there, she could read between the lines. Giggling a little at his observation she nodded. “It’s amusing how much tony lets him dote on it. I’d thought Tony would want to be the center of attention.”She snickered before nodding. “There’s always hope, clint, even if we can’t see it.”She sighed, yawning a little.
 
Loki nodded a little. "yeah.' he admitted before blinking a little. "oh! the Blond face!" he paused and blinked at the picture before looking at Tony. "he's into men then, huh?" Loki asked, nearly killing the hidden Clint, who was struggling not to burst into laughter at that. "he needs me. of course i'm good to him." Loki admitted with a smile as he opened the cage and let the little hamster out, stroking his head. "what a cutie you are Acorn!" Loki praised with a smile.

"Clint chuckled a little as he heard Loki call Steve Gay before he glanced at her. "school? well. i never got into middle school." he admitted. "but i never really needed to know anymore smart stuff really. i know what i need to know." he admitted. "i'm an assassin after all." he pointed out. "and a spy, i don't need to know what a square root is." he admitted with a chuckle as he looked down at Tony and Loki. "oh, Tony's always the center of attention, see how Loki's body is always turned towards tony even if his face it focused on the Hamster? and how Loki always pauses when Tony talks? it's because he's entirely focused on Tony, the rat is just a distraction to keep him from pouncing on Tony."
 
“Yea, the blond. And never make the mistake of thinking he’s a stupid blond. He’s horribly intelligent, makes making fun of him hard.”Tony snickered before bursting out laughing at the idea of his best friend gay before shaking his head.”No, I don’t think so. He just models spandex as a living.”he said snickering, wondering how long it would take loki to realize he was being a ass about steve’s chosen outfit, and ask what he really did for a living. Smiling slightly, amused that loki was so adorable about the hamster.

“Ah. I see.”Merry said biting her knuckle to stop the laughter that was threatening at loki’s comment about steve before looking over at clint, shrugging. “You know things normal people wouldn’t know. Like what their body language means...that’s cool actually.”She said smiling a little as she watched tony and loki, looking bemused.
 
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