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have you ever.

^ Excellent new avatar. ^

Well, no, but I was moving one once (with a lot of other baby gear) and stuck it in my mouth because I was running short of hands.

Have you ever been... in a park, say... and taken a pet home because she looked just like yours and you couldn't figure out how she'd got there?
 
Eek! Thank you!

No, I haven't but I found a dog in a park while out on a run and took it home with me after no one claimed it and it was starting to rain. He's still my dog now!

Have you ever awkwardly let out body gas when you were hanging out with your girlfriend/boyfriend?
 
Sure; we were getting near breakup one time and I burped loudly. She said, "That was crude!" I replied, "There are two avenues by which gas can leave the body. You'd no doubt prefer the other!"

Have you ever entered into a relationship (i.e. started screwing) in a state far from home, and discovered inconveniently after the fact that y'all were related?
 
Well, I guess Pandora and I are alone then.
Pandora, of course, being my computer in reference to the box of wonderful, terrible things that is the internet. Sometimes I scold her when she's too slow and whisper soothing words when I tinker with her hardware.

To answer the query, I have boinked a girl before realizing we shared a last name. Thankfully, I later discovered we were unrelated (or so distant it didn't matter). On the plus side, neither of us would have to change our names if we married.

Have you ever ripped the skin off of a piece of meat with just your teeth while a fork and knife were readily available?
 
Just because I have a funny story for the one above Raze's: I met this guy at a party, we made out and we exchanged numbers. Two days later, my dad tells me he met an elderly lady on the bus who is actually related to our family, and that her family has invited us over for lunch. Cool, everything's great and there's good food. Then, I see the SAME GUY from the party and I get really freaked out. I talk to his mother who then informs me that him and I are fifth cousins. It's funny and a little bit horrifying, lol.

Anyway, yes I have done that. A person's just got to eat sometimes, and when the need is that intense, utensils aren't that high on the list of important things.

Have you ever eaten any "strange" meat? (Anything other than beef, pork, chicken, turkey, fish, etc. OR the weird parts of the animal i.e. pig ear, intestine, tongue, etc.)
 
No, thank god to the REALLY weird meat like cat (my dad at cat before on accident while on an army tour), but I do want to try like gator meat.

Have you ever been in a house with a number of animals that made it uncomfortable?
 
All too often.
But then, as far as I'm concerned, one cat is too many.
Primarily because of the fact that I've yet to meet one that did not want to scratch me at some point.
I have a core body temperature slightly higher than the average human, so I'm usually warm to the touch. While this has received mixed reviews among humans, cats invariably love this. Meaning whenever I sit down to talk or play or watch a movie for long enough, any cat in the house inevitably finds itself in my vicinity. Which is all well and good until the moment I have to get up at which point said cat attacks me like "Sit the fuck down, human. I still have need of you." Naturally, this causes problems. Sometimes for me and sometimes for the cat. I once broke up with a girl because I punted her pussy.

Have you ever wanted to scream someone's name during climax, then realized you didn't know it?
 
No, I've always made it a policy not to fuck anyone without finding out who they were first.

Next question: have you ever screamed out someone's name during climax only to realise that you were with someone else?
 
Ouch. Imo, that would honestly hurt more than just forgetting, which I've done before. I have a horrid memory for people's names, unless they're exotic. Which is funny since I remember chemicals almost photographically.
I also don't scream names during climax in general. I just roar.

Have you ever frantically searched for something that was in your hands/somewhere on your body all along?
 
Yes, all the time! I do it most often with my phone and sunglasses when they're in my hand and on top of my head, respectively.

Have you ever listened to music and started singing along because it's your favorite song, only to have someone nearby tell you that you actually suck at singing?
 
I absolutely hate wearing earphones or headphones, so while I haven't sung for an audience since I starred in a musical in high school, I occasionally sing in hallways, on busses, etc.
You know, that time most people spend zoned out on their iPods.
I've been told to shut up because I was being distracting or because they were trying to sleep, but I've never actually had someone call me a poor singer. I suppose that makes me not half bad?

Have you ever had your girlfriend/boyfriend rant and rave about a gender-specific act or piece of clothing (like running in high heels, in my case) so much you decided to try it just to put the matter to rest and realized they were perfectly justified?
 
Not quite, but I have done it for non gender specific things and usually find they are not justified.

Have you ever gone from watching one type of porn to another extreme altogether? For eg, Mature women to 18 year old girls, BDSM to gentle romantic etc?
 
Yeah that could be one extreme to another.

Yes but only when I am alone and too busy turning pages or finding better pictures...

Have you ever thought it would be more fun to have sex with the less attractive person than the good looking one?
 
Yes, in the sense that there are lot of pretty girls that I would happily turn down for less physically attractive ones that are more interesting/wild/crazy/fun. But no in the sense that I have never been in bed with someone and thought "Man, if this chick was just not so fucking hot this would be much better."

Have you ever used alcohol as a way to get sex?
 
^ Three cheers for Cecily Brown! You don't have to be an art critic to tell she's good! ^

Now: sure I have; a favorite is asking the barmaid to substitute Everclear for the vodka in a Screwdriver, say....

Have you ever "fallen in love" during the first fuck?
 
Sadly no, and the guy did deserve it.

Have you ever wanted to beat the living hell out of someone but couldn't because of a certain reason, like legality.
 
Yes a few times, but that was back in the early 90's!

Have you ever been interrupted by a cop while having spontaneous sex in the bed of a pickup?
 
No, but I've been interrupted by two Galveston cops while having well-planned sex on Stewart Beach at three in the morning - does that count?

Have you ever used the "Bill Clinton Defense", i.e. claiming that anything other than vaginally-penetrative coupling was not "real sex"?
 
Definitely- it counts twice as much!

And yes, I did when asked by my boss about break time during my first job...technically it wasn't -real- sex!

Have you ever used pudding as body paint?
 
XXtraPrince said:
No, but I've been interrupted by two Galveston cops while having well-planned sex on Stewart Beach at three in the morning - does that count?

Have you ever used the "Bill Clinton Defense", i.e. claiming that anything other than vaginally-penetrative coupling was not "real sex"?
Click to expand...


And no, since I was even allowed to start dating, I've only dated one person...and we're still together.

Have you ever been caught by the police for something you didn't do?
 
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