OH Baby(sitter) (Wolvenrogue and Frogger)

Carissa glanced down at their hands. For some reason...she was feeling a prickling warmth, one that made her want to move closer. "I will talk to administration and see what I can do about my schedule. Right now I'm taking four classes, but I can't guarantee having a free weekend, since I will only be going to school in the evenings. Saturday may be busy. We'll see. Now, I'm glad that you like dinner." The woman absently patted his hand, returning to her dinner and spearing a few noodles of macaroni. There was a reason that she didn't say anything about Jeanine seeing her as her mother. It just wasn't right, to forget her mother. Of course she was very young. Replacing her, though, was something terrible. The little girl should learn about her mother when she was older. "If you want, I can make some dessert as well."
 
"Have you ever made homemade ice cream? We have an icecream maker. Jeanine loves it. " He got up and helped her clear the dishes from the table. Again stepping behind her and wrapping his arms around her. He had done it without even thinking. It felt so natural to him, and the feeling of her in his arms melt him feel warm and good all over. He let go with one arm to caress the babies cheek in his hand while the other stayed around her slim waist. It felt to him as though they were a family again. Suddenly though, when he realized what he had done, he came to his senses, and let go of her. "I'm sorry I didn't mean, I mean it felt so natural. Just like before.... I mean when Jenny ...." His shoulders started to shake and a tear fell from his cheek and landed on the front of her blouse.
 
"Um...no, it's fine. I understand. Really, I do." Carisa hesitantly reached out, hand caressing his cheek to wipe away the tears. "You lost your wife only a few weeks ago. Of course this situation would remind you of when she was by your side. Maybe you should wait...on hiring a sitter who stays in your home. After all, the pain is still fresh. You need time. It isn't fair to anyone if you start confusing the woman who is babysitting your daughter to the woman who was your wife. You could hire a babysitter who is only here when you're gone," she suggested. Her hand lingered on his cheek, thumb stroking the skin lightly.
 
"No." he said emphatically. his clarity returning for the moment. "My daughrer means too much to me to hand her off to just anyone. The fact that I confuse you with Jenny just tells me you are the perfect person for Jeanine. I'm sorry if I offended you in any way, but honestly, though I don't expect you to understand, I feel as though you are the perfect person to be Jeanine's mother, not just her sitter. I'm not confused now.. not at all. I know exactly what I just said." He hoped and prayed silently that he had not just scared her away. He not only wanted her for Jeanine, but for himself. He and Jenny had agreed that should anything happen, that they would go on, and remembering the other fondly, find new love. He didn't know quite how to explain this to Carissa, but then he remembered Jenny's diary. "I have somethig to show you Carissa" he said. He got up and went to the bookshelf and took down Jenny's private diary. He unlocked it with a small key and had her read from an entry made a month before her death. " Dear diary, talked with Jason today about what to do if one of us dies. We decided that living in love is better than living with grief. We promised each other that we would, as quickly as possible, find someone to love, and someone who could love our darling Jeanine. I couldn't be happier with a decision than I am with that. "
 
Carisa dropped her eyes from the diary, stepping back away from the man. No... This couldn't be right... After the death of a loved one, you're supposed to mourn... Cherish each memory that was shared... Then you try and move on. He...He lost his wife just two weeks ago. How could love be discovered within two hours...? That's how long they've known each other... Dating was the proper method of discovering a new love. Not just... looking at someone and deciding they're the one. Not to mention she looked like Jenny. All of this...it just can't be right. Yes, she was willing to take care of that little girl in the next room....but to be her mother? No. There was just too much going on in her life right now...and she wasn't ready. How can someone be ready to accept that sort of responsibility as soon as someone offered it? This...This had to be a dream... It just had to be. None of this can be real. One day she'll have children...but with the person she loved. Not with a man who loved who she resembled.

"Um...I'm still willing to babysit Jeanine...but I'm sorry, I can't be anything more than that to you, or her. You seem like an intelligent man...and you...you're certainly attractive. I don't feel anything but responsible for you and your daughter...."
 
"I don't expect you to understand. Just to realize that what I'm doing was what Jenny wanted. What we chose for our daughter and for each other. It's the final expression of my love for her here on earth. That, and what we both wanted for Jeanine. I think your the one, and I wasn't in a hurry. All i ask is that you please don't walk away without givivng it a chance. We can take it at your own pace, but I'd be a liar if I let you think I was hoping for less." You have your own room, and you won't owe me more than proper care of Jeanine. Give it a try. If the day ever comes that you don't feel you can stay, then give me weeks notice, and we will part friends. But in the meantime. Jenny and I are hoping your are Jeanine's future mother.
 
"I...I wouldn't keep your hopes up, Mr. Thomas." Carisa turned her back to him. Her long dark red hair flickered and danced under the lights, her delicate frame outlined in the soft glow. "I am not ready for anything like having a child of my own, or being involved with a man. What is on my mind is having a stable job, and attending my classes so that I can get my Bachelor's degree. That is my top priority. I think it would be for your best interest...to date another woman. Even while I am under your roof. I don't plan on being a mother so soon in the future. Once I have my degree, I'm going to date men, and when I find the right one, that is who I will marry and have a family with."
 
"Just love my daughter. That's all I ask." he said as tears escaped the corners of his eyes, and he turned and went up stairs to his room. He had hoped for much, but she was quick to dicourage his hopes, and it cut him to the heart. How could he be so wrong about a person, He would wonder. He crawled onto the bed and began to cry, his chest heaving. He really didnt know how to handle what she had said. How could he have been so wrong? He wouldn't wake up again that evening but slept the night in his clothes. It was the first time since she was born, that he hadn't kissed his daughter goodnight. He woke the next morning when his alarm went off, and jarred him awake. He woke up distraught, but did his best to bury his feelings as he showered and dressed for work. He steeled himsel and came downstairs.
 
Carisa was in the kitchen, getting breakfast ready with the little baby girl on her hip, giggling and smiling. "You're so silly," the redhead told the child with a smile. It was warm and nothing like how she was to him last night. Even her eyes were warm and like melting pools of blue. "How do you feel about me staying with you this morning? Huh? Huh? Do you like that?" Setting down the spoon that was stirring grits, she blew playfully on the baby's tummy. That brought a loud giggle.
 
He heard laughter from the kitchen as he made his way down the stairs, it was Jeanine's giggles, combined with the cheerful voice of Carisa. the sound lifted his heart, but also tugged at him a bit when he remebered that those feelings would not extend to him. He paused a moment outside the kitchen door to steel himself against the inner dissapointment that had nagged at him most of the night. He was tired, and haggered, and try as he might, he was afraid it showed. Unfortunately, he was already late to work and needed to kiss his daughter and be off.

He stepped into the light of the kitchen from the dark hall and smiled at Jeanine, and the leaned in and kissed her on the forhead. She gave him a somewhat worried look and the smile dissapeared from her face. That was until she turned and saw Carissa, and then she brigtened up again. Jason forced a smile at Carissa and said " she really is taken with you. I'm so glad your here. He poured himself a cup of coffee and prepared to be on his way to work. "I'm late...I'll be home about 6:30." he kissed Jeanine again and headed out the door. When he reached the car and had pulled away out of sight, he broke down again.

That evening 6:30 came and went. At 7:15, the telephone rang the caller announce that they were from County General hospital. They were looking for a Jennifer Thomas. She was needed at the hospital, her husband Jason had been injured.
 
"Oh no..." Carisa hung up with the nurse from the hospital, rushing to gather the things that Jeanine was going to need at some point. The diaper bag was luckily found right in her room, beside the changing table. "I can't believe this is happening... I better call the school and make sure I won't fail since I won't be going..." Digging out her phone, she went on to call the administrations office as she picked up the child. "Yes, hello? This is Carisa... There has been an emergency, and I won't be able to make it to classes for an indefinite period... Yes, I know this is inconvenient, but it can't be helped... I'm sorry."

Sighing, she hung up and stuffed the device back into her pocket. "Snooty school people..." she grumbled, nuzzling the red-haired baby to calm herself down. It wasn't long before they were both in the car. Ten minutes later, they were at the hospital talking to the front desk.
 
"Mrs. Thomas? were so glad you could get here quickly." the nurse said. " He is in room 5, let me take you to him. He's been asking for you. I have to warn you, he's pretty beat up, a steel beam fell on him, and broke one leg, his arm and several ribs. he will recover, but it will be a while. he is certainly fiesty. We are hoping you can convince him to lay still and rest." The nurse didn't wait for any comments from Carissa, but took her by the hand and escorted her aand the baby to his room. "Perhaps you will behave yourself now that your wife and child are here!" the nurse scolded, looking at Jason.
 
Carisa frowned slightly. "Um, ma'am.... I'm not his wife. This is his child, but we are in no way in that kind of relationship... And Jason. You do need to rest. If you don't, you'll just stress out your body, and you will be here in this hospital even longer. Behave, and I might bring you something good to eat when you're dispatched." The redhead approached the bed, laying his baby down near his good arm.
 
The nurse pulled her aside and whispered. "Your realize you can't be here if your not his wife? Look at the way he looks at you and the child. Honestly, I don't care what the situation is really, but please for his sake, pretend your his wife so the hospital won't kick you and the baby out. Happy patients heal faster. His wife can come and go as she pleases." The nurse left without saying another word except to say "Were glad your here Mrs. Thomas," loud enough for the nurses at the desk to hear as she left.
 
"Fine...I won't say anything, then." It wasn't right to act like a lie was reality though. Carissa pulled up a chair to the bedside, watching the baby carefully to make sure that she didn't fall or hurt herself in any way. "How are you feeling?" she asked the man. "I made arrangements so that I can take care of Jeanine for the time that you're in the hospital... so don't worry about that." Her eyes avoided his, instead just looking out the window.
 
"I'm sorry to put you through this...I'll pay your tuition if you lose your classes. You don't know what it means to me that you are taking care of Jeanine. I love you for that alone." He played with the baby with his left arm, though he was clumsy. It was hard for him when she wouldn't look at him. He wanted to cry, but kept it bottled up and focused his attention on Jeanine.
 
Carisa glanced down at the child. "No, it's fine. In fact...the administrations office said that if I was going to take off indefinitely, I might as well drop my classes...and they are right. I should try and find a stable job before resuming the classes I was taking... Don't worry about paying my tuition. You'll have enough on your plate, what with the hospital bills and just recovering alone."
 
He was disturbed when she spoke of finding a stable job. "What do you mean "find a stable job" ?"he asked. "You have one. I'll happily pay you, I'll even pay you a years wages in advance. Would $30,000 a year plus room and board be enough? I have insurance for the bills, and the company will be continuing my salary, but I can't replace what you mean to Jeanine! Oh! keep the car too!"
 
"Jeanine won't be a baby forever, Mr. Thomas." Carisa turned her gaze onto him. Within those dark blue irises was a distance, although not cold, was lonely. "What I mean is having a job that I am sure I can do something...more. I love your daughter, but in a year's time, maybe two or three, she won't need me anymore. No, she'll be an independent little girl wanting to explore the world for what it is. And she won't remember me. It's common for that to happen. Don't worry about paying me a year's wages in advance. I will stay for now. As of right now, it is where I'm staying."
 
He looked despondednt at her words. "She's only an infant in three years she will be four. By then you will be the only mother she knows, and nothing could make me happier. You can go back to school and learn a career. I'll even pay your tuition, but at least consider being there for Jeanine for the long term. I promise, it will be worth your while."
 
Carisa let out a long sigh. "We'll see what happens, sir. I won't make any promises. As much as I love Jeanine, I do have my own matters to worry about, and what if my own family calls? I would leave to see them immediately." The redhead turned her eyes away from him, looking out the window again.
 
He cringed at the word sir, but decided that he would do no better today, and lay back in his bed and tried to focus on jeanine as she smiled at the two of them, as though it were the most natural thing in all the world. He couldn't help notice her contenetment, and decided that at least for the moment he would do nothing that might disturb her blissful illusion of a complete family.
 
Carisa soon returned her eyes to the little girl, running a hand through her long dark red locks. "I probably should call a nurse...you look tired," she told him. It wasn't that. It was just...awkward to be here. With him, in this position. Acting as though she was his wife. "I also have to use the restroom....do you think you can watch Jeanine?"
 
"I'm not really tired" he said, "but she is my little girl of course I'll watch her. Use the bathroom if you need to, but please don't call the nurse. I'd like to spend at least a little more time with Jeanine, and if you do, they will have you take her home. I'm sorry to be such an intrusion on your life." The words caught in his throat, he didn't want to say them, but he could tell that this was all to much too soon for her. He couldn't really blame her.

"You have been kinder to me than I deserve, I will find a way to make it up to you someday." He held Jeanine with his good hand and smiled at her so that Carissa could leave for a few minutes.
 
"Alright... I'll be back in a little bit. I might grab some food while I'm gone. Is there anything you would like to have?" Carisa rose up from her seat, dusting off her skirt and shirt in one fluid motion. Her fiery red hair tumbled down over her shoulders, catching the light, shimmering under its ambiance. "And no. I haven't been kinder to you than you deserve. You are a good man. You are just a...misled man...who cares about his daughter very much. I know you mean well." Dark blue eyes flicked over to him, holding onto his gaze for an infinitely long time.
 
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