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The Big Good Wolf (Frogger/Campion)

He took her hand and as they walked, his shirt and pants became clean and he added puffy cuffs and neck ruffles.

The guards called to someone as they approached and a female wizard appeared holding a staff with a large crystal at one end. "Stop there travelers. We are picky about who and what enters here. She looked at them through the crystal, nodding. "Wolfwoman, as long as you abide by our laws and keep human form, you are welcome. Wizard...my you are poweful...and a mana gatherer. Which guild do you owe your alliance to."

Colin had a feeling in his gut, so he answered truthfully. "I have no guild alliance as yet. I was hoping to get some reasonably neutral advice on that very subject. Perhaps I could pay for some fine wine and you might have suggestions."

The Wizard narrowed her eyes. "Are you seeking sanctuary? There is a cost for that. Gainful work must be done to give back to the community. Or are you wanting to pass onward."

Colin looked a t Rieka, then back. "Um...look, I'm sorry. I don't know. We've come a long way and before saying, can I understand our options?"

The woman sighed and smiled. "I find no darkness upon either of you. Enter then...go to the commons inn. Stay in there until I come to you. Do not go anywhere else or you will be in trouble."
 
Dark green eyes studied the young woman asking questions, using her authority to demand the answers she seeks.

A mane of gold is pulled back in a braid, hidden underneath a black hat big enough to obscure part of her face. It is easy to see the shrewd brown eyes, however… just like it is easy to smell the power that which clings to her and that wretched staff. It burns Rieka’s nose. How can she guarantee anything? It concerns her little, their laws. If she has to shift to make sure they are safe, she shall do so in a heartbeat.

It sets her teeth on edge. Rieka stole a glance over at her son as the gates swing open, to allow them entrance inside. “I do not trust them,” she spoke in a low murmur, eyes darting about… posture stiff.

“Sanctuary? Does she offer it often?” Rieka growled, suspicion glittering in her eyes and pulling at the corners of her lips. “I find it very… unsettling. I cannot promise I will not shift, not here. I know you want to seek her counsel, though… and so, I…”

How can she explain she wants to remain outside the town? To shift, and keep an eye on things? It was not difficult to find the inn and, pausing outside it, she let her eyes focus on his once again.

“Go inside,” Rieka told him gently. “I do not know if I can abide by their laws. I am a wolf, and a wolf… never walks into a cage.” It is but the truth. “I need to make sure you stay safe.”

A hand reached out to touch his cheek. “I will return shortly.” Rieka rolled her shoulders, obviously preparing herself for what is about to happen. “I love you. Keep an eye out, and if you need me… I will hear you.”
 
He listened to what Rieka was saying with despair.
"Really? So far, this seems to be the one place that might have some options? Of course they don't want you shifting in the town...and unless trouble starts you won't have to."

Hearing she was not coming in, he smacked his forehead. "Rieka, what is the problem? And you are going to get us both into trouble."

Disconcerted, he entered the inn. It was quite clean, and a woman came over. "New wizard? Not black guild right? OK, you'll do fine. Wait for Themra to get here, but I have to tell you, many of use will be glad to see you if you take the position. Too many Orcs further South. Road Protectors are what keep us all safe. Here's bowl of stew for you, some thick bread and some cider."

Colin sat and ate, and after around an hour Themra came in. She looked around and rolled her eyes. "Your companion doesn't like following directions, does she. Well, I just hope she doesn't scare or harm anyone or I'll have to do something. So you don't have a Guild...there are a few of them. Some devoted to research, some power grabbers. I'm with the Protector's Guild. We maintain roads and handle threats to the populace. Some of us are warriors, some wizards, a few priests. If you join, you get free meals and bed and supplies in any town. People will treat you with appreciative respect.
Mind you, we aren't an army, and we don't have to join in any border disputes. We answer to the King and Queen only. If one of us abuses their power, well...we don't like that. Usually involves banishment. It isn't always an easy life. Lots of time in the wilds and on the road...heading toward danger instead of away. But if something's too big you can call on the rest of us. That were...she your older sister?"

He answered, "My Wife...and a free spirit. I don't know if she'll like the offer or not...but she and I are a pair. Both or neither. Let me find her and I'll let you know what we decide."

He went out and found a large tree in the center of the town. Leaning against it, he called out, "Rieka, could you come here? We need to talk."

When she found him, he'd explain the offer.
 
Is it really so unbelievable to be suspicious of a town nestled at the edge of a forest?

Rieka finds it disheartening, and yet... it will keep her and him safe to be so wary. Of course she will not get him into trouble, nor will she pose any threat to the people in this town... not unless she needs to be.

"No words of encouragement or praise? I am not altogether surprised," she replied, her tone somewhat cool. "Fine. I shall leave you be, then." An arm crossed her midsection as she dared to bow before leaving him to feed upon the lies they will surely provide.

It was a relief to be outside the gates once again, to not feel the judgment and suspicion that which reside in blue, brown and green eyes alike. Rieka rolled her shoulders, allowing the shift to overwhelm her as she began searching the trees for any sign of danger. It stings, him believing her to be silly, and yet... is he not being naive, just going along with this? Does he not see how suspicious it is?

An hour later, Rieka heard her name. It was agony to shift back into her human form, weak and vulnerable in comparison to the other. After finding her dress and putting it on, as to not offend sensitive men and women with her nakedness, Rieka found him in the center of town. A large oak reaches for the sky there, its massive branches and thick canopy providing relief from the sweltering heat of late afternoon. Rieka paused several steps away, hands on her hips. "You called?" she spoke first, careful not to let any emotion into her voice.
 
He relaxed when she appeared...not in any trouble apparently. Then he outlined what had been presented to him.

"I have to say, it's tempting. Helping people and have a royal commission to do so. Room board and supplies covered. Granted, nobody's getting rich and the job has risks, but it seems like it's a legit way to get a place in the kingdom. I suppose I'm too innocent to think it will turn out like I wish. But shouldn't we try? Not be on the run? have a real job and others to back us? maybe have our place in the world?"
 
Yes, it would be nice if they did not have to run any longer. It has been a week or so since his father was murdered, but the effects of traveling is already evident on not just her body, but on her mind as well.

Why is he asking her, though? Colin may defer to her on some things, however he will not follow her advice here. No, he has already thought her to be ridiculous earlier. Rieka kept her opinions to herself, as per usual lately, instead choosing to say something else. "It is up to you," she told him plainly. It is not she who will have 'a real job', or 'others at her back'. No. It will be he. Here, she will have no place except that of being a nuisance.
 
He grew a little irritated. "No Rieka. I told her and I meant it that we are a package. If you don't want to join this group...and they DO have weres, then don't and I won't we'll travel further and take our chances. I would rather pass this up than put a wedge between us. So show some tits here and really tell me your thoughts. Have you smelled something I should know...or maybe...do you actually enjoy being on the road with me? I know it's been a couple of weeks and you find me a pain sometimes, but isn't that the way of families."

He sat and leaned against the tree. "Rieka, share with me...please don't be proud or distant. I need you as much as ever."
 
He? Need her? It was difficult not to laugh. Rieka frowned and turned her back to him, as to enjoy the sight of the sunset while it lasts. "Show some tits?" is the first thing she could bring herself to say. "Lovely use of language, my dear. And here I thought I raised you better." Of course he has proven himself to be very different than he was under her care and nurturing. "I am not being proud, or distant," she just about growled. "I do not care if we stay or go." A hand waved to portray her feelings on the subject. It does not matter, anyway. What is best for him does.

As far as Rieka can tell, she is the only werewolf here. No scents aside that of powerful magic are what plague her nose so.
 
An argument here in public is not going to do anything good. His spirit was so low he felt like giving up.

"Rieka...let's go back to the inn. If nothing else, it's a place where we can think of all we have shared. I am growing afraid that you don't want to be with me...that I'm not part of your future plans and your rather go another way. Can you show me this is all about? I really am trying to have us on the same page, but I feel like you fight me at every turn"
 
Rieka looked to him, dark green studying the young man before her. How can he not see how much she loves him? How much she wants him to be happy? Is it truly that difficult to believe, to see?

Tears stinging her eyes, Rieka had to turn away, else he may see the sign of weakness. It hurts her to see him so. His misery, though... is because of her, because she is part of his life in a way that she should not be. "Yes," she murmured, albeit quietly. "Let us go to the inn. You need to rest." Of course he is part of her future plans. He is her son. He is all she has left. Rieka had to fight off the strange feeling that has taken root within her since early that morning, and instead, silently, lead the way.
 
In another building of the town, the female mage sat across from an elderly sage. He spoke, looking in her direction through blind eyes. "You say that the younger one is an unbound wizard with high potential?"
She nodded, "and his mana flows through the veins of his mate. I would not care to cross her when she has such a resource and is were. As a team they'd be difficult to cross. My advice is to offer them a home. A place of their own to go to off duty. They are landless and alone...if we can change that, I doubt they'll resist."
"So she is in charge then?"
"Oh...she may nod her head to him as alpha, but she knows every trick to make him follow where she wishes....granted, I don't think her choices will be bad ones."

The sage nodded. "Make it so then. A more elegant offer to a more capable set of recruits."

Colin started out ready to scream. but he was disappointed with himself. Why had he brought up her tits..er...breasts. But as she spoke, his eyes kept drifting back to their fullness. How they shimmered as she moved. Oh, he just wanted to suckle at her, make love and ignore the world. she smelled so very wonderful.

And instead of arguing, her voice was softer, more persuasive. "I need to ...to be with you. To be close. Yes, let us go to the inn. Rieka...I love you...you do know that? I know you love me? and you are the most gorgeous woman...when did we last mate?" His mind was getting fogged as he inhaled her aroma.

In the inn, he saw the woman he'd met and almost growled. "Your nicest room...a....a plate of meats and cheeses...and beer, lots of beer! Leave it all outside the door. And...well, just leave us alone."

He rushed upstairs and once in the room, he spun to pull her close. "R-Rieka? I...I'm not all myself, b-but I like it. I, you...please. love me. Make love. What. You want me?"
 
"I do," she replied, just as quietly as before, if not more so. "I do know. And I you." It may not be the same, but they do care for one another. Rieka loves him as the son she herself never bore... and he? Well. It is still difficult to say, however it is clear he cares for her to a certain extent.

Be with her? Be close? No. Rieka does not know if she can handle it. All they do is cut each other with their words, hurt with their actions... until there is scars upon their hearts. No, she cannot handle it, not right now. It feels as though she is too... raw. Too vulnerable. How can she reject him, though, without doing any further damage?

A soft sigh left her lips at his next question.

"How am I to know?" Rieka asked, her tone quiet, subdued. It is as though... she is tired of fighting, tired of warding off his advances. All it has done before is brought naught but agony, frustration and pain.

Please. Leave her be. It is all she asks. A headache pounding at her temples, Rieka stepped into the inn, unaware of how all the men inside stiffened, their eyes hungry on her and her alone.

"Was it a week ago?" Rieka spoke up once again. "A day or two more?" It matters not. It is mating. It is an act of submission, an act of procreation. It is passion for the male, and it is the duty of the female to oblige him. No more. Feeling strangely dizzy, Rieka ascended the stairs, crossing her arms under her breasts as she did so.
 
Colin opened the door to their room. He watched as she moved past him and closed the door hard. Then locked it. Then shoved a chair up under the latch.

His clothes have fallen to the floor, though he doesn't remember removing them. "Rieka...I know you usually suck on me...just, I was wondering. today. Do you want me to make love to you? Or...maybe to fuck you...so hard. To ram your puss full of me and fill you over and over. To hear you whine in need and what the fuck is goingon???!!!" Colin froze. He had been schooled to resist sexual spells and drugs. But Rieka...every move she made was a symphony of sex.
"Rieka...I think we both know... so raise your ass high. Don't make me fight you for it. Tell me what you want...because I have just this much control. I can step outside and find the serving girl. But we both know you want me.
Her scent...it dizzied him.
 
No. No. How revolting. Rieka hates her heat cycle with every fiber of her being, within every corner of her heart. Why did it have to strike now, of all times?!

“I… I do not want this,” she confessed on a heartbroken sob. At long last her tears broke free, trailing down her cheeks. “It is my duty to satisfy my mate. I do not want pleasure. I do not want sex, not for myself.” Why must her body betray her so? A whine following soon after, Rieka forced herself to turn away from him, to hold onto her arms tighter. It was not long before she was trembling, like a leaf caught in a brisk breeze. “I… I need to be locked away,” she managed to pant at last.

“My heat cycle will last for several days. I… I hate that my body does this to me.” Mating is only to satisfy a male, to bear an heir, nothing more. Rieka pressed a hand against her mouth, doing everything she can not to make some sort of embarrassing noise. If he does not leave soon… she may shift into a wolf, and she will have no way of knowing what she will do.
 
He listened and just shook his head. He loved her but she truly was crazy. "No...you are going to be locked in this room with me. I think you being in heat will be a good thing. I'm not afraid of you, and what you are feeling is natural for a wolf. Guess what, for a human, feeling pleasure is also a good thing, so you have no logic to stand on. You are paying the price for pushing down the feelings that are not only natural, but normal."
With a quick spell, the window and door latches locked and would not open.

He quietly removed his clothes and lay down on the bed, letting her do as she wished. But eventually, she'd have to come to him. Why did she always fight against what was supposed to be?
 
“What? How will my heat cycle be good for me?” Rieka snapped. “I think you are just taking advantage of my… weakness… in order to try and… and… make me believe this nonsense!” A hand gestured wildly, but it was just a heartbeat later that she had to cover her mouth and step back from the bed. No, no! It will not change anything! Rieka looked to the door in the hope she can escape… but of course, he cast a spell to lock not only it, but the window as well.

Frustration bubbled to the surface, and she relished the fact she can focus on it and not this… insanity threatening to take over all sensibility.

Moving over to the bed, Rieka slammed her hands down on either side of him… her eyes locked on his. “How is any of this natural?” she growled, hiking her skirt up until he can see between her legs, trails of arousal glistening on the inside of her thighs. “I do not need or want this,” Rieka told him plainly, even though she is trembling. “If I could rip out whatever causes such… a nuisance, I would.”
 
Take advantage? As a guy getting sex whenever he asked for it, all he felt like was that he was taking advantage of her... Then it hit him. She didn't want a lover relationship, but was willing to do sex just to keep him relieved. It was like those couples who settled for so much less. He really didn't want that. He wanted the care, the passion.

"Rieka. I know you believe that what you think is normal. Pretty much most people do. But not feeling passion, or sexual attraction, or desire not to be alone and close to one's mate. Those are not normal for human or for wolf. I don't know how you were hurt so badly that you can't do the most important thing after survival, and the survival of those we care for...to enjoy one's life!
The way you are talking is like the priests of that odd religion. They think all sex and sexual thought is bad, so they castrate themselves. But sexual desire IS natural. And is what you are saying, since I apparently cause some of this in you, that you'd like to rip me out of your life? Because then it would be easier not to face the holes you cover with duty? You are made for more than just duty. You are made for Rieka. You are made to enjoy and celebrate. Otherwise life is far too cruel. How are you so terrified that anything you crave will instantly be snatched from you?
How many disappointments and losses does it take before a person is no longer willing to consider desires and intimacy. I don't know, but I do know this. YOU raised me to be loyal and to keep my word. And I swear that I will never leave you. May I be struck down if I do. I swear that no matter how you resist, I will always love you and be there when you finally decide that you want my hug, my kiss, my love, my partnership and my body. If it takes ten years and I miss everything else I might have had in life, putting being with you first will be my goal. If you leave me, I will trace you and follow you, even though you hit me and kick me."

He had not touched her at all as he spoke, wanting his words to sink in. She could ignore them, but there was no way to refute them. So all he did was strip down and look at her, his member rising up as he enjoyed her beauty. "So go ahead. Tear into me. You can submit to the wolf, because the wolf can be your excuse to not admit to very human needs and feelings. I'm going to just lean back here, and admire your body and your spirit. I'm going to love you and be so hot for you, but I'm not going to lift a finger to touch you, even though my heart and body are screaming for me to take you. Not until YOU take ME."
 
“No, I did not say I want to rip you out of my life,” Rieka told him on a frustrated growl. Must he argue with her at every turn-?! “You did not cause this. It is just something that happens once every few years, give or take.” A hand pulled through her hair roughly, dark brown settling upon her shoulders while dark green darted about… looking for escape.

Is he truly leaving her with no other choice? How long can she control this… insanity before she snaps? Rieka let her legs give out from underneath her, so she collapses next to the bed. “Me? Made for myself? Do not make me laugh,” she spoke up again, albeit quietly, reluctantly. It is as though the emotion had bled out of the words, leaving the werewolf naught more than an empty husk. How long has she fought him on this? How much longer is she going to do so, when it is obviously not going to change the dynamic of their relationship?

Why does she continue fighting him? Is he not her mate? Yes, he had… forced the issue, but did she not go along with it? Did she not decide she want him to be happy, regardless of whether or not she herself wants the things he does? It seems… it is well past time to cast aside any and all… inhibitions. How else will be happy? Colin has made it very clear how he wants her to be: devoted to him, and fueled with his mana… happy with his love, and passionate with lust. It all seems impossible. No, it is time to lock her heart away, to throw the key away and put a smile on her face.

Rieka’s heavy breathing began to slow and so, with her eyes on him and his… she climbed up onto the bed until she was straddling him. Not a word left her. Both hands lifted to deal with the issue of her dress, revealing inches of skin to his hungry gaze as she struggled to discard the thing.
 
Colin could only watch as the turmoil within her went on and on. Yes, he had trapped her here with himself. And yes, she was being forced to face it. But in the end, he didn't believe that he was doing something wrong. He couldn't. Didn't she see that ripping pleasure and passion from herself would be to forever shut him out?
When she spoke, he kept his face serious and just nodded. Yes. Like it or not, it was a fact that all people were made for themselves. Many had that stolen from them, and others chose to push that aside to joyously serve others or a greater cause...but what was going on with her, serving but never taking pleasure in herself. It was horrible.

As she slid to the floor next to the bed, he ached to reach and pull her to himself, but he had to be resolute. She had to want to come to him or it would all start all over.

He saw her head raise and where her eyes were focused. He had never seen this look before. She openly desired him...she wanted what he had, and he was thrilled to the core and slightly frightened. He kept his hands down as she rose and straddled him, only moving when she struggled with the dress, to pull the side lacings so it expanded letting her pull it off.

Then he saw her in all her glory, a woman who wanted him. What more could a man request?

He lifted her right hand and pressed it to his cheek, kissing the back of it, then turning it over to lick her palm slowly. As she moved her heavy breasts swayed. He knew she hated them and thought them so impractical, slowing her on the hunt, but they were so desirable. He wanted to grab them. He wanted to grab her, but other than the palm kiss, he knew she needed to need. She needed to decide what she wanted. His member was flat on his stomach, her labia pressing wetly down. It took every bit of his will not to move his hips.

"Rieka, what is it you desire. I give you permission. This time we are together for you, and all I care about is your pleasure."
 
An unfamiliar heat shot down the werewolf’s spine, only to take residence and throb between her legs a heartbeat later. Rieka had to close her eyes, or else react in a way that… goes against the way he wants her to be. And of course she has to choose her words carefully, not honestly. It… would not go well if she was to share the thoughts on her mind.

To him, she needs this wretched experience, to teach her a lesson that it is ‘natural’ to feel such things, to indulge in the carnal and primal. No. How can she ever see it from his point of view? How else will he be happy, though-? It seems the way she is now… will not make him happy. Rieka has no desire to seek pleasure, to seek satisfaction for herself… but, what if she seeks it to please him-?

What a ridiculous idea. And yet… what other choice does she have? If she is to lock away her heart, her feelings, he will figure it out sooner or later and order she act differently.

“I do not know what I desire,” Rieka chose to reply at long last, being that it is the only kernel of truth she has to offer. It is obvious he wants her, because his cock is throbbing right against her… and yet, he refuses to do anything except look at her. It is a little… infuriating. This traitorous body of hers insists on doing something about the ache that is between her legs, about the heat threatening to consume her entirely… but she has no desire to act upon it.

How will they ever come to terms on this? Dark green eyes closing once again, Rieka grit her teeth… fighting against the impulse to climb off him, to fling herself at the window so she may be free of the situation.

No matter what she does, it is wrong, wrong, wrong. All she wants to do is rip her hair out! Every brush of his skin on hers is making it difficult to think straight, and she hates that with every fiber of her being. Rieka prefers to be one who thinks logically, who lets nothing deter her from her goal. It feels as though there is a fire held hostage beneath her skin, too… which is not helping matters any. Why does he insist that this is natural-?! A hand went down between he and her, the fingers wrapping about his cock while she lifted herself up onto her knees.

Maybe this will satisfy he and her selfish body. Rieka kept her eyes on his, taking advantage of this opportunity to impale herself upon his cock. A strangled cry left her lips, but just as quickly she swallowed it down.
 
He watched her with concern and yet fascination. The rapid play of emotions and thoughts that were obviously sweeping through her was intense. When she finally spoke though, she admitted something he had not been sure he'd ever here. Truth. "When you don't know what you want, that means you have options."

The tremors in her body....how hard she was keeping from letting things out. She was fighting herself so hard it hurt to watch...but he still believed it was exactly what she needed. He could see her eyes narrow and look high, trying to be deceptive and hidden, but then refocus as her steaming body yanked her back to reality.

When she grabbed his member he stayed calm and waited for her to do as she wanted. Her unwilling cry of passion was his clue. He concentrated, using stone from a boulder he'd noticed outside, he suddenly made their room into a cave around them with no exit, and only his hand glowing for light. "Rieka, thank you for wanting me. Now, I will show you. My strength keeps growing. I could fly us somewhere and as you can see, I can shield us from anything. I could feel the wizard who interviewed me. I am many times stronger than her. I can protect you. I won't ever let anyone hurt you again, or force you to be a bad person. You are free to be good. Free to feel. I don't care what you may have done and are fleeing from. That is your past. I want your present and your future."

He began to thrust up into her, looking at her eyes, only moving when he could see her need there, not her level self-controlled gaze.
 
Options? No, she has no options. Rieka knows this to be true. If she speaks her mind, the words are cast aside in favor of his opinions. If she does what she believes he wants, he is not happy because it is not what she herself wants. It is a never-ending cycle. In the blink of an eye their surroundings change… looking like a cave?

Rieka looked about in awe, not entirely sure what to think. Yes, it seems his power is, indeed, growing. Why is he demonstrating this, though? “And?” she spoke at long last, looking to him below her. “You are stronger now… and it is because of this that others will seek you, track you, until your power is at their disposal. Do not make promises you cannot keep, my son.”

No. Enough of this. As… cruel and demanding as this heat is, she will not submit. Rieka reached out and pressed a hand down on his chest, a frustrated growl bubbling up to replace any noises that could be misconstrued as pleasure. “I would much rather… give myself over to the wolf… than to be a weak woman,” Rieka told him. “Your strength grows, but my strength comes from… determination… and I pride myself on never being distracted by something like pleasure. I do not care about the past, nor do I care about the present, the future. I told you I want you to be happy.” Rieka never spoke about her own happiness, though. Dark green eyes closed, a scowl settling over her features as she pulls on the leash which she binds the wolf within, yank it up to the surface. It shall not be long before the transformation takes her over completely.
 
Colin growls back at her. "You are a self repressed woman, whose only point in life that she accepts is to serve others! Rieka, you and only you have made yourself a slave."

He shook his head, and concentrated, and a finely meshed suit of miniature linked steel mail appeared on him covering all but his face, hands and privates. "Go ahead and go wolf. I'll relish the challenge. My power is NEVER going to be at someone else's disposal. before that happens, I'll blow them up or blow myself up! Now. Let's see that big hot were form and see what she thinks about all this!"
 
Rieka’s eyes snapped open, rage flashing through their depths as she struggled not to give in to his… what is the right word for it? Bait? Snide comments? Ah, it matters not.

“No,” she growled, pressing both hands down into his chest again… only this time, using this as a means to climb off him. His cock slipped free of her body, and though every part of her ached to have it inside her again, she refused to surrender. “No. Absolutely not. I am not going to… do this. Not with you. Not now. Not when I feel so-” No, do not speak of it! Rieka began to pace about the room again, her body fueled by a restless energy she had no idea what to do with.
 
As they were in a small cave, she had little room to pace. He was struggling with having been near orgasm.
"Damn it, I think I'm going to cum! Fine, you go do what you have to since you don't want me and apparently, you never want me...or won't let yourself want me which is the most hateful thing I can think of when I want you so much and we love each other! Your pride is....is hateful! It is evil! It hurts me everyday. It hurts you everyday! It serves not purpose and when you maintain it this way, you serve no purpose for yourself.
Oh you can get mad, but it isn't really me you are mad at! It's yourself, because you know you want it and won't let yourself have it, because you hate yourself that much!!!"

Suddenly he realized that he was right. Deep down, she hated herself and could not forgive herself for something. "What the hell did you do to make yourself this way! If it's going to make you this way forever, stunted and cruel with dispensing affection, I really would like to know."
 
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