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Blood Bound (ScarlettRose & Hatchet)

Ronan didn't look at her, his breathing still a bit ragged as he sat silent for a very long time. He had never spoken to therapists about his past either, well just simple bits and pieces but now he had to tell someone who he wasn't sure if he could still trust his life story.

"Just so you know. If you break me again after I tell you. I'll kill you." His words were cold, there was no room for teasing, his words not a threat but a promise.

Allowing her to nestle in his arms as he continued to stare out the window he started to talk after a while, his voice quiet and didn't leave room for interruptions as he would not repeat himself.

Ronan told her a story of two boys born in the pit of hell, by an incredibly poor family. Both bastards, their father unknown and a mother that had nothing but regret for them. He told her of how he was used at a very young age to keep his brother safe, how the woman he called a mother sold him out for money used to buy not food or clothing but alcohol and drugs.

He told her of how hungry he was for a long part of his childhood as he was abused in every way possible by men and women he didn't know, by things he didn't understand. How he was able to somehow get into public schooling, or what at least on the outside was called public schooling. He did well for the most part but the lack of sleep, the trauma, the terrors started to get to him.

He told her of how he gained his first gun, his first taste of alcohol and drugs and how he opened fire on that public school when he was barely twelve. How he had murdered thirteen people before he turned it on his mother from finding out she sold his brother into trafficking, how he tracked him down and shot down every pimp he saw. How his brother was lifeless when he finally found him in his cage.

Ronan went silent for a long while before he continued, throwing in some bits and pieces of past relationships, not sugarcoating on how they used him as well as other jobs he had, his time in jail, how he never got help or the medication he really needed, how he felt like life fucked him over one too many times.
 
Amelia held onto him tight as he told his story. Never interrupting, simply listening to the horrors of his short life. Wondering how he even functioned after all that shit. Yes, she was a monster in her own right but . . . Never like that. She showed him no pity for she knew he would only hate her more for it, only held him. As if the safety of her arms was all encompassing and she could keep him safe from all the wrongs in the world.

She kissed the side of his face after he finished. Silently just holding onto him. Minute passed by into minute. "You're not weak. You're the strongest person I know." She told him kissing him again. "And I'm not going anywhere. Ever." Nor would she ever let anyone do anything like that to him ever again. "I love you. I'm sorry. I was stupid and angry and I promise I'll never do that to you again Ronan."

Her sincerity seeping through her words. Had she ever felt so strongly about anything before? She didn't think so. The things that happened to him as a child almost sickening her to her stomach. She had been a mother. She didn't understand how a mother, any mother, poor or not could do that to her own child. It made her furious. The woman did not know how lucky she was to be already dead otherwise Amelia would have torn her limb from limb herself.
 
Ronan was incredibly unhappy now as she kissed his face and lips but it garnered no reaction from the stiff man. His walls were still up, at least some of them with her as she promised she wouldn't do it again which he responded with.

"Yeah. We'll see."

It was not the response she would have wanted, but after bleeding out to her and the pain he had endured, his trust issues wouldn't simply go away. However, he did promise her he'd let her in little by little, but that what happened between her and Alexander would always stay in the back of his mind. "People like me don't just forget being stabbed in the back. I won't bring it up anymore. But don't think you'll ever be one hundred percent forgiven." At least the thug was brutally honest with her, his heart still ached.

After a while he still felt the need for some space as he shifted from her grip and slid away. "You can go home now. I'll see you later." He didn't want to go back with her, he couldn't just pick up where they left off as he continued, "we're going to have to build from the ground up again. Because if I go back with you and we act like we used too I'll just snap. If you want I can take you out to dinner though." It didn't sound official, but it was the only way he could attempt to ask her on a date at the moment.
 
It was hard to do but Amelia walked away. She knew Ronan needed his space at this time. They both had their insecurities and this is what it had boiled up to. Almost like Pandora's box. She had told him to call her or drop by when he was ready to . . . whatever. For now, it was just enough for her to know he was still in her life. She was rather embarrassed the way she had broken down. No other being in the universe had ever garnered such a need from her. But this broken soul had.

Amelia had always believed that the monster in Ronan called to the monster in her. Though they were different kinds of monster's they were still creatures of nightmares. The days that turned into weeks were agonising. Still, she waited patiently, day in day out. Hearing nothing from him but just waiting. Giving him the time he needed. Amelia was wondering where he'd just blown her off for good. Packed up and left . . . But she was too afraid to go there to see if what her fear told her might be true. So she continued to wait. Patiently. Miserably.
 
It took a while, it was about a week and a half before she got a text, mostly because Ronan needed to purchase a new phone.

[Do you want to catch lunch] typed the way he talked, instead of a question it was more of a statement if anything. Either way he met her at the flat and he looked terrible. His arms were wrapped up from the scarring and bleeding, his eyes glazed with bags under them from his insomnia and not having a comfortable place to crash since the scandal.

His hands were in his pockets, his expression guarded as he waited about a foot from the doorway his walls up and around him once more.

"...Hey..."
 
“Hey.” Amelia smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She looked as aweful as she felt. She’d hardly fed and hard sleeped. Being both sleep and blood deprived was taking a toll on her but she had been miserable while he was gone.

When he’d text she was both glad and sick to her stomach. What would happen next? She had no idea but there was only one way to find out.

“ . . . How have you been?” She asked after an awkward silence, simply taking him in. He looked as terrible as her but she didn’t care Amelia was just glad to see him.
 
"I've been better," his words were cutting like glass, his tone hard but he didn't press on the subject, it would take him time to trust her once more but at least now he was putting in the effort.

"...Do you wanna go have lunch with me?" He mumbled, the words seeming foreign to him as he grimaced. God why was he so terrible at this? He felt like a stupid school boy, he never once had an actual date before it was always sex both on his end or his partners but he always deep down wanted more. Ronan never would press the subject now but he found her to be a little different.

"...I get if you have work. But I'm hungry now." There he was, his little grumpy attitude was harmless and it was the most Ronan thing he said in weeks as he put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.
 
"I've got time." Amelia smiled shortly. This was the most awkward situation she had been in since she had first made her grand entrance into good society over two hundred years ago. It just would not do. Straightening her spine she walked towards him. "McDonald's?" She grinned, trying to ease the tension between them.

In all the time they had been together, they had actually never gone on a proper date. It had seemed unnecessary at the time but then . . . maybe that was the reason they hadn't really know each other really that well and communicated. Of course, there was more to the story than that but this . . . was a start. Amelia reached out, the back of her pale had stroking his cheek. "I've missed you."

Pulling him close, she wrapped her arms around him, sinking her face into his neck and inhaling the scent of Ronan. She didn't know if anything would ever be okay but they had to try . . . didn't they?
 
Ronan snorted a low laugh, "no not McDonald's. I wouldn't do that to you." He muttered allowing the tension to ease just a bit. He was a bit tense at her touch but slowly relaxed into it though his white eyes were guarded. He wouldn't simply forget what happened, and he would never fully forgive her at least for some time but he knew he had to try a little bit.

"I missed you to." He murmured nuzzling her temple lightly but kept his hands in his pockets still a bit standoffish. "Come on, lets go."

Driving off in his sports car he took her to a place more...Her style as they walked in. Obviously Amelia was dressed for such a place and Ronan well...

"Sir we require a reservation for seating." The host said though a little scared at Ronan's 'give no fucks' appearance as Ronan slowly rose a brow and fumbled in his pocket. The host acted as if Ronan was about to pull a gun but instead flashed three 100 dollar bills in his face, and when the host hesitated, Ronan squinted and slid out another two before they were taken to a nice seat. As Ronan walked passed the host he smirked tucking the money into the uncomfortable man's front pocket and patted it as they left to their seat.
 
The journey was not long luckily and not much was said between the two. Things were . . . different now and Amelia wondered if any of this was worth the trouble. She wondered how her life would have been had she no encountered Ronan. Blissfully ignorant no doubt but she had encountered him and had developed feelings for him and this is where her dilemma struck. She was stuck in a sense. She knew she could survive without him. She was strong of character and will and to someone like her life always went on and there would always be something to live for.

However, when she peered across at Ronan, she realised the same could not be said for everyone, especially not her partner. He lived very much in the moment. Felt every feeling far too much. It was a tense emotional battle he constantly faced and she knew it would be her fault entirely if she let him lose in the world like this. More destructive than he'd ever been but worst of all his destructiveness would effect him more than anyone else and that for some reason, Amelia found she could not live with.

When they arrived at the restaurant, it was surprisingly fancy and completely her kind of haunt though she had not visited this particular establishment ever before. She did not interrupt as he dealt with the maître d'. Money was no object clearly but a lack of class was certainly raising eyebrows as they entered and took their seats. Maybe more so since she was dressed so eloquently and fine where as Ronan lacked much but that hardly effected her. She was simply happy to have some time with him at last.
 
Ronan paid no attention, at least outwardly to the other diners in the restaurant but she could easily see him tensing with eyes on him. He was a common piece of bad news in this town and now since he was out of jail for so long, he continued to walk the streets like he owned the place, though he never made it to the more stuffy areas of town before.

Finally they sat down away from the others and he started to relax as he looked over at her and then down at the table his brows furrowed. "...I've been recommended a shrink. Since money grows on trees for me now, no one really cares about my past in the medical sense. Its just to get some kind of drug to make me act more...Presentable." He said his eyes narrowing slightly at her, "for you."

Clearly he didn't like the idea of having to do this but it was a start if they were to piece their relationship back together. "If you still want me around that is," in otherwords, he was only doing it for her at this point.
 
Amelia was rather surprised by his declaration but showed no outward reaction. After a moment she simply nodded. "I still want you around Ronan. I think I made that implicitly clear." Her pale hand reached across the table to hold his as she bestowed upon him a loving smile. "And if you think that will be best for you - the medication and the therapy sessions - then by all means I will support you. Personally I think it will be a step in the right direction for you."

She wanted to reach out and pull him close. Hold him and tell him everything would be alright. A date was good but she wanted more. She twined her fingers through his. " . . . Will you be coming home?" She asked hesitantly after awhile.
 
"Don't think too much on it, no idiot with a psychology degree can fix something that's shattered." He muttered bitterly but he shifted lightly under her warm loving gaze, not because he was uncomfortable, but because he felt his hard exterior melt a bit from it.

Ronan's eyes stayed on hers for a long moment his expression guarded as he chewed on her question. "...I guess I can." He muttered but wasn't completely sold on the idea thinking they'd just fall back into place from where they were.

When drinks were ordered he tried his best not to find something on the 'adults' list as he just had water instead of his self proscribed elixir.
 
"It's not about fixing." Amelia replied as she relaxed back into her seat and sipped on her red wine. "It's about finding ways to move forward and not let the past have a hold on you."

There was nothing that was going to fix Ronan. Nothing on this earth had that power but she was certain there were ways he could move beyond it and yes, she did want that life with him. Maybe she would even give up the clan. She was tired of being bound to one place with all these commitments. It made her feel her two hundred plus years and the weight of the responsibility was overbearing.

When she had murdered Nile's parents in cold blood it was for a lust of power. Something she had wanted then but she was no longer that person. Not since Ronan . . . "Maybe we can move forward together." Amelia suggested, not telling him her current train of thoughts. "Start over . . . Somewhere else. Somewhere far away."
 
"Start over? Isn't your base of operations here?" Ronan asked slowly raising a brow knowing how important her power was and keeping Nile away from clan leadership or something like that. Ronan was really only have listening at that point.

"Plus. I don't have any socially acceptable skills, least I can think of." Ronan snorted not wanting to feel worthless if they were go go away, "not to mention, where would we even go?" The thought of it started to make him tense, no matter where he went destruction would fallow, that's just how Ronan seemed to roll.
 
"Power is something you can build up from anywhere if you wish. You simply need a will and then action behind it." Amelia informed him then sighed. "I'm . . . just tired with all this bullshit." She rarely swore but she was feeling it. Feeling tense and fed up. "It will go as easily as it came."

She looked across at him for a long moment. Was she really suggestion this? Up and leave everything she'd worked hard for? It was hardly the first time she had done something like this in her long life. For some reason, this time she had settled on this would be her life forever, but it didn't appear that way anymore.

"Darling, social skills are hardly a requirement when one has monetary stature to make up for it." Amelia added at Ronan's second point of contention to her suggestion. "I mean we can go anywhere." She gestured with her hands. "The world quite literally is our oyster. I have more money than we can use in ten lifetimes. Plus my more legitimate business will keep providing a rather substantial salary even with me not at the helm. So . . . you know, something to think about."
 
“It’s not about surviving Amelia. You know how I get when I’m bored.” He growled needing to spell it out better. “You might have all the money in the world but I need something to do. And if I keep busting heads and selling drugs I’ll just go back to my old self. I have no socially acceptable skills for any job. Unless it’s like a bouncer but still.”

He had a point, he had a record unless Amelia could use her monotary power to make it magically disappear.

“All I know is how to cook but still. Who’s gonna hire this face?”
 
"Yes then why don't you go to culinary school or just school in general and find something you're passionate about. Time is hardly a factor. This is your chance Ronan. Your time. You have the opportunities that life denied you before." She leaned forward once more claiming his hand in hers. "I believe in you." Amelia squeezed his hand.

She wanted him to have the world. Wanted to help. She couldn't imagine having the life he had. She had always, from birth had all the advantages that most did not have. She couldn't say she understood what he was going through but she could be there to better himself and as far as she could see he was the only one holding himself back.

"What is it you want love?"
 
"Amelia...No one is going to want to accept this," he said gesturing to himself, "into anything, especially a good culinary school...One simple background check and they'll lock me off the grounds..." Ronan muttered but perhaps he was forgetting his lover was indeed a powerful woman...Though he didn't want to trouble her anymore than he already was.

"Look...I-I don't know what I want." He muttered looking to the side as their food was brought to them. "I just know I don't really like where I am right now...Morgan says I went right back to where I started after...Well you know." He muttered not looking at her as he shifted. "I think I just want a little stability..."
 
"I can give you that." Amelia replied insistently after the server has left. "Look Ronan . . . I made a stupid and I'm not excusing that. I have a handful of my own issues but I really . . . don't want to lose what we have and as for your record trust me that is minor. There are ways and means around things like that. You really shouldn't worry yourself about things like that love."

She felt terrible. This was all her stupid fault. Her apepitite was lost before she even started her food and simply stirred it around her plate. She just wanted to make things right. How could one stupid mistake case this much distruction. It had literally meant nothing at all. It was just her relieving her pressure and had not been romantic or affectionate in anyway at all. Amelia realised if this relationship was to work in anyway, she would have to give up her old ways too. Which would be no small feat on her part. She had been far to used to being alone and thinking only about herself and her own needs.

"I love you Ronan, I . . . Just want to try . . ."
 
Ronan frowned as he listened to her before slowly cocking a brow, still able to find himself able to eat...But that was just him being a man of coarse.

"...This country's moral system sucks." He mused lightly at the fact she could just make his record disappear like it never even existed at all. "But okay...If I don't have to worry about it then I wont..." He said his grip on her hand tightening a little as he kept his scarred fingers laced in hers.

"I love you too Amelia...We can try it...You're better at decision making than I am so I think...You know as usual I'll just go along with whatever you decide..." He muttered flushing a little as he looked to the side. "I'll be right behind you."
 
Amelia leaned over the table to kiss Ronan, long, passionately with the longing of weeks. It was more than she could have hoped from him. "Thank you." She whispered against his lips before sitting down with a genuine smile after such a long time.

In that moment, she knew everything would be alright. It wouldn't be easy but it would be okay and that's all she needed. She squeezed his hands before bringing his hand to her lips and kissing each finger. "We'll figure it all out." She promised.

She couldn't wait for him to come home. She had been so lonely and missed his presence terribly. Though he was far from noisy or loud his absence was felt harshly. She missed waking up to find him cooking in the kitchen or when he came home and took her in his arms. All those little things.
 
Ronan smiled just a bit as he finished his meal with her and drove them home to the apartment. He seemed a little reluctant to go in, walking slower than normal before they entered the elevators and stepped out letting her unlock the door.

His white eyes flicked around to see that everything remained the same since he had left in the first place as he shouldered his duffle bag of the things he took with him down and sat on the couch still not quite feeling at home.

"What's your work schedule for the week?" He asked fiddling on his new phone trying to get used to the touch screen.
 
"No particularly busy." Amelia said as she sat next to him and slipped his phone out from between his fingers. "Ronan . . ." She spoke gently as if she were talking to a child. "I can stay at my own place if you'd be more comfortable with that."

He was clearly not in a place to be near her for long periods of time. This would take patience on her part. Patience she used to have in droves but now was lacking greatly. She wanted nothing more than for things to go back to the way they were.

"I understand if you're not ready for this . . . yet."
 
Ronan's brows furrowed as he shifted on the couch when she took his phone from him, having a hard time meeting her gaze. "...No...It's fine..." He mumbled to her and slowly sunk into the couch glancing over at her, "you do whatever you want I don't care."

He sort of did.

Ronan however didn't want to make this more difficult than it already is which it was incredibly. "...I'll...Get over it." He mumbled glancing away from her staring at a spot on the floor his guarded walls up again.
 
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