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Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but the additional hands rot at 11:59 pm every night and you are required to cut them off with a hatchet. They will grow back by morning, but you're in for a painful and uncomfortable night. And your trash is full of... hands.

I wish I could teleport to any location I want. Similar to Jumper where I just have to picture the location.
 
Umbrale said:
(Brutally specific wishes, to the chagrin of many a genie; I dub thee, "Creative Sadist".)
Click to expand...

*wicked grin*

Granted! You’re able to teleport anywhere with any objects that you’re wearing or holding. The only thing that doesn’t carry through a teleport is your orientation. You never know what body part you’re going to land on. It leads to a lot of bruised elbows and knees, twisted ankles, a sore ass, not to mention the ever presented risk that you will land badly on your head.

I wish that I could pick up any hobby I wanted and get good at it without frustration.
 
Granted, but only you hear it good while everyone else who hears it thinks it's horrible and want to hit you with a chair to make you stop.

I wish that I could turn myself invincible and unable to feel pain at will.
 
Granted, but your skin feels nothing, ever.

I wish I had my dream job.
 
You got it and now you think the job sucks and quit within a week.

I wish for a punching ghost that only I can command.
 
Granted! The ghost is incorporeal and invisible to everyone else, so no matter who you tell it to throw hands at, they are completely unaffected.

I wish I could see fine without glasses or contacts.
 
Granted, but every time you go to sleep your colour perception changes, so every time you wake up every colour has changed into a different colour.

I wish I owned the magic mirror from Snow White.
 
Granted, but it only speaks in Middle English and constantly makes pretentious, unprompted allusions to Ovid.

I wish I had a ttrpg group that met consistently.
 
Enjoy your group edgelords who barely talk about their backstory and don't care about the plot only wanting to be a bunch of murder hobos.

I wish could easily learn about the things I need to know about ttrpg to be able to play well enough that I don't slow everything down.
 
Granted you now have a private jet, specifically the Trump Force One and thus you are charged with and found guilty of its theft.

I wish that Pluto was still classified as a planet.
 
Pluto is classified as a planet, but larger orbital bodies that presently qualify as planets receive a new term.

I wish I could make people have an orgasm on the spot just by looking at them and thinking the order "Cum."
 
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