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Is He A Lover or A Fighter? (Part 4) WF+GF

“I’m not getting a castle. Do you don’t get a fridge.” She smiled. “It’s not going in our bedroom. You can put one in your closet when we build a house.”

She nodded her head, “Of course I miss my boy. It almost seems too quiet without him running around. It is nice to have some alone time though.” She said softly and started to drift off.

She would wake up when he spoke to her but would make a noise of agreement or disagreement instead of talk to him. The bed was very comfortable and his head massage lulled her right to sleep.
 
"I knew that no would come back to bite me in the butt." He grumbled. "That's bullshit. My fridge is like a hundred bucks. Your castle is like a million..." He said softly. "Oh I'm getting a fridge in the new house for sure. For the kitchen we should get one you can see in though the door."

Jake missed Owen as well but their alone time was nice and a bit needed. A little trip the two of them should be something they tried to do every so often. It was hitting Jake being away from Owen too because he knew he was going to he away from him and Adri.

He let her sleep awhile as he watched TV a bit and emailed the lawyers. After he finished the emails he laid down and it wasn't long before he fell asleep too with the tv on. He slept fairly well but then another dream started.
 
She chuckled, “No the person who cooks the most gets to decide what the kitchen looks like. Hi, I cook the most.” She reminded him. “I want two fridges. One for all the veggies and prep and the other will have real meals and snacks. I want an island, a breakfast bar, a gas stove, two ovens, a giant dining room and all smart appliances so I can check what the food looks like from my phone.” She smiled. “And marble. So much marble.”

Adri was able to sleep quiet well while Jake was watching TV and eating. She woke up a little when he slid into bed but was back asleep in no time. When he started talking in his sleep again, she woke up. She tried to sleep through it but it was so new and strange to her that she couldn’t ignore it.

She watched him in the darkness, hoping he would get quiet. She grabbed her phone so she could record him in the darkness and play it back to him later.
 
Jake just watched her a moment. "I'm down with the smart appliances but I cook sometimes too. I do more breakfast." He told her. "So I want a flat top griddle. Wait why are we deciding out entire kitchen because I brought up wanting a fridge in the bedroom?" He asked confused.

His dreams were terrifying that night. It brought up a lot with his step father and the fear and abuse that he had endured growing up. It was like he was in a new situation at that house he grew up in. His legs twitched just slightly. He let out a few moans and mumbles. He got out a few, "Stop!" "No!" "Quit." "Please."

After a bit he quieted down and stopped moving. Then he started moving his head back and forth, getting more violent as time passed.
 
“I don’t know. The kitchen is mine though.” She said sleepily.

She record about two minutes of him talking in his sleep and then set her phone down and watched him. When he got quiet again, she was able to close her eyes and drift back off to sleep until he kicked her in the chin when he started thrashing.

It wasn’t the best move but she was annoyed when he woke her up and kept her up so she forcefully pushed him back.

“Jake.” She put her hand on his chest and tried shaking him like she woke up Owen when he was sleeping too long. When that didn’t work she went back to pushing his arm. Hoping the repetitive movement would wake him up. “Jacob.” She said sharply.
 
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"I want a griddle. We need a big kitchen." He told her.

Jake heard his name jolted awake and but thought it was in his dream so he got in defense mode. His hand swung and made contact with the back of his hand and her face.

It took him a moment to fully wake up, realize where he was and then what may or may not have happened. He froze and just looked at her. "Oh my god. Adri....babe....I...." He shook his head. It was an accident but he instantly felt awful about it. "I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry." His face was white and he felt like he could vomit.
 
Adri jumped when he hit her. She didn’t know what it was at first. It was all very fast and very shocking. Her hands went up to her nose and she stumbled out of the bed.

“Oh wow.” She said still in a state of shock that he just hit her. She knew he was sleeping but didn’t think that would happen.

“I know Jake. I know. I just...” She rubbed the bridge of her nose and went to the bathroom to check for a mark. He hit her hard but she didn’t think she was bleeding. He didn’t hit her eye thankfully. Mostly just her nose. It felt like a ball just came and smacked the middle of her face.

It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the light but when she could see she saw that her nose was very red. She frowned and went back to the bed. “At least you’re not wearing a ring.” She said softly.
 
Jake sat up and then got up walked to the bathroom to make sure she was okay. Shock was on his face and disgust with himself. He just watched her, he too wasn't expecting that. He didn't know it was her or that she was that close.

He looked around a moment before staring off for a moment. All he could think about was that he just hit his fiance. The woman he loved. Then he wondered what would have happened if it was Owen. Owen crawls on him when he's trying to wake his dad up. His eyes started to water and he blinked and grabbed his underwear and sweats getting dressed.

He grabbed his key and slid his shoes on before heading to the door. He never had been so angry with himself.
 
Adri kept rubbing her nose wondering if it would bruise. She could cover it with make up if it did but that didn’t look good from the outside. If someone found out the rumors would spiral and there would be no going back. She loved Jake and would hate to see him destroyed like that.

She heard his keys jingle and turned to look at him, “Jake...” she started but what could she say. She couldn’t say it was okay because it wasn’t. She understood he was mostly asleep but that didn’t change the fact of the matter.

“I love you.” She said softly. “If you have to leave then go do your thing but be prepared to talk when you come back.” She sneezed once and then a few times more.
 
Jake wasn't even worried if someone found out or not. He did what he did. It wasn't something he could take bake. Yes he was asleep but he still hit her. If she had to go to the ER it would just look like a lie and cover up.

He stopped and listened but couldn't look at her. How could he? How could she look him in the eye after that? Or her parents? Her parents that had accepted him and his son into their family. He just hit their own daughter. That's when the tears flowed. He didn't just let her down but her parents. How would they trust her with him ever again?

When she sneezed he waited until she was done. "Are you okay? Like really okay?" He asked softly. Leaving wasn't an option. She wasn't okay from the shock of it all, that he knew but physically he needed to know she was okay.
 
“I’m fine. I know what concussion protocol is. I am pretty sure my nose isn’t broken. It’s just shock, I think.” She said and made space for him on the bed if he wanted to sit down.

“Will you come here please?” She asked and held her hand out to him. If he didn’t come she walked over to him and held his hand tightly so he couldn’t pull away.

“I love you. You know that. This was an accident. I wasn’t thinking I shouldn’t have pushed you. I was fully conscious and annoyed and I pushed you. I shouldn’t have done that, especially when you were having a nightmare. And I’m sorry.”

She made him look at her and she wiped his eyes. “This was an accident.” She was mostly sure it was an accident. She wiped his cheeks.

“I don’t...I” she thought over how to say it. “Why don’t you get some sleep? You can drive and I’ll sleep in the car in the morning. I probably shouldn’t try to sleep right now anyway.” She offered.
 
He hesitated but walked over and sat on the side of the bed. His eyes stayed on the floor until she told him she loved him and then they closed. He shook his head. "You didn't do anything wrong..." Jake told her and looked at her. "This wasn't your fault. I'm sorry I kept you up and I'm sorry I hurt you..."

Jake shook his head. "I don't want to sleep. I don't think I can anyway." He said with a sigh and looked down again.

She thought she had a concussion...or at least could... "Maybe we should get it checked..."
 
“Will you say it back please because I’ve said I love you three times and you haven’t even looked at me.” She sighed.

She rubbed her lips together and watched him for a moment. “I don’t need to get my head checked. I don’t have a head ache. I’m not seeing spots. I’m fine. I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep just in case.” She rubbed her temples and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

“What were you dreaming about?” She asked. She grabbed her phone and played what she recorded.
 
He looked at her, really looked at she and what he did to her. "I love you too. I'm just...upset with myself." He told her softly.

Jake wanted to insist her getting checked but trusted she knew her body and if she really thought it was necessary she'd speak up so he just gave a nod. "Okay...If it changes...tell me."

He watched the video before answering. "I was back in the house. My step dad was there. He was pissed about something. He was beating the shit out of Amy then me...I thought you were him. In my dream. He was trying to get to me. I didn't know it was you." He said softly.
 
“I know you are. And that’s why I’m not as mad as I would be.” She said honestly. “Because you didn’t mean too.” She rubbed his back.

She listened to him talk about his dream and bit her tongue. “It seems like they are getting worst.” She told him. “You were like this for a while and then calmed down and then it picked up again and you were kicking. Maybe running. And you kicked me and I got angry because you I don’t like being kept awake and I pushed you.” She said connecting the dots on her end.

She yawned and laid her head on the pillow. “Maybe two beds for the rest of the trip and then when you start seeing a therapist you will feel better. I don’t know.” She said softly and touched her face.

“Will you get ice and put it in a bag. I’m going to be so upset if I swell or bruise tomorrow.”
 
Not as mad as she would have...so she was mad. Jake didn't blame her. He shouldn't have done that.

He wasn't going to say it wasn't worse because he could tell he was from the video and how he remembered the dream. He gave her a nod. She wasn't going to trust him for awhile to sleep with him and he didn't know if he trusted himself either.

Jake got up and went to get some ice and came back giving it to her. His plan was in the morning to call the therapist. He needed to get a grasp on it as soon as he could.

He sat in a chair in the corner and emailed his therapist. "I want that house fucking gone. I want it to burn. It's never effected me this badly."
 
She thought there would be a bigger upset about not sharing the bed. Maybe when they got home in their big bed they could share again but not right now. She also knew there would be no more Owen in the bed or nap time with Owen, but she didn’t know if he connected those dots yet. She didn’t want to sprinkle salt in the wound.

She thanked him for the ice pack and put it over her nose and eye. “Maybe it’s because you’re talking about it. You haven’t had to talk about it beforeand now it’s effecting you.” She reasoned. “It could get worst before it gets better.”

She hated the thought of it getting worst but she would accept it. They would get through it like they got through everything else.
 
Jake knew Owen wasn't going to understand the changes they needed to make but at least he would be leaving soon and that would make things easier with sleeping arrangements. It may not help him with therapy though. Adri was his biggest supporter and she wouldn't be in LA with him.

He gave a nod. "Maybe..." He shrugged. Jake did want to get help and get better as soon as he could. He also thought about it and wondered if he should put it in the documentary. It lead him where they are now.

He left an email for the therapist to call him and see if he could do a call or video session. It was hard for him after sending it to sit still. His mind wouldn't stop. It was constantly thinking about the dream and he kept looking at Adri to make sure she is okay.
 
The ice helped a little bit but her head was starting to hurt. Sleeping it off seemed like a better idea than freaking Jake out and making him think he really hurt her.

“Will you go for a run or something please?” She asked him. “I can feel you looking at me. I can hear your foot bouncing. Go for a run. I’ll be here when you get back. I promise I’m fine. If I’m not by the time you come back we will go somewhere. But go do something. So punch a bag or something.”

She picked up the ice pack and looked at him, “You didn’t work out yesterday like you were planning too. It’s fine. Just go. I’m going to try and sleep.”
 
Jake looked at her when she mentioned a run or something. "You're sure you're okay?" He asked softly. Once she confirmed it was okay, he gave a nod and got up and grabbed her phone, "I'll have mine, call if you need me." He told her. Punching a bag wasn't an idea for him. Not with what happened, but he could run it off. Or attempt to.

He found his earbuds and put them in before heading out. Jake was fairly familiar with the area but the buildings changed slightly. He took off running the neighborhoods. He went far and hard to get the anger with himself out despite the angry rock music he was listening to. Once he was done was spent and calmed down he stopped and walked a bit. It was cold but he didn't care, he just walked.

After awhile he grabbed his phone and dialed his dad. He didn't know who else to talk to and he knew his father wouldn't place judgement. Or he hoped he wouldn't.
 
She assured him she was okay and when he left she got up and turned all the lights out before getting back in bed. She balanced the ice over her face and did her best to get some sleep.

John was sleeping when Jake called him. There was an hour difference but it was still too early for this call to be good news. He wiped the sleep out of his eyes and saw Jake’s face. His heart raced as he picked up the phone.

“Jake? What’s the matter? What happened? Are you okay?” He asked, not even a hint that he had just woken up. Nothing but concern for his son.
 
Jake knew it was late and if it was anything else, he wouldn't have called. He let out a breath. "I'm okay. Well....Nothing to really worry about. I just....I screwed up and I need to talk. I went for a run and it helped. But I still can't get it out of my head."

He got back to the truck and got in to have privacy and warmth. Jake turned the heat on. "I was having a nightmare. I was thrashing around, talking. Adri wasn't getting any sleep. She tried to wake me up and I thought if was Rick... I ended up hitting her. I hit her hard dad.. " He teared up again. "She says she's okay but I can tell it hurts and she's upset about it..."

"I promise I didn't know it was her. But what if it was Owen. I could have really hurt him. Or her." He shook his head. His hands honestly were lethal weapons with his training. That's when he started to cry. "She's made it really clear my problem is getting worse. Dad...I'm turning into someone I don't know and I don't know what to do....I'm scared to go to sleep. I don't want to hurt anyone..."
 
“What happened Jake?” John asked confused. He wasn’t making sense.

He listened to the story and rubbed her forehead. “Shit Jake.” He said softly and rubbed his hand over his face. “Is she okay? Does she have a bruise or anything? Where is she now?” He asked rapidly.

“Hey, hey. You can’t keep yourself awake every night either. You go in there take her some flowers or chocolate and apologize to her. Did she leave?” He asked. “I think the silver lining her is that you know you were in the wrong. You weren’t in control of your action and you reacted. She’s still in the room. She knows that just as much as you do. You can’t let this eat you up. You have been nothing but loving and supportive of her and Owen. You would never harm a hair on their head.” He reminded Jake.

“Jake I’m more worried about what the press will say. If she has a bruise, it doesn’t look good on you. You two need to be united on this. On everything. Give her a hug, tell her you love her and watch her. Watch her the way she watches you after a fight. Note down every mood change, every yawn, every complaint of a headache.” He tried to think of what else could help. “She loves you Jake. Remind her why she loves you.”
 
"She's in the hotel trying to sleep. She will probably have a bit of a bruise. She said she's okay." He said softly.

His dad was right. She was still there and she made sure he knew she loved him. That said a lot. He also didn't ever want to hurt a single hair on Adri or Owen. They were his entire world.

"I don't care about the press or anyone else. I just want her okay." He said softly. "Okay. I can do that. I can be there for her. I should go check on her." He said softly. "Thanks pop. Thanks for listening. I love you."

After hanging up he grabbed some of her favorite candies from the vending machines. He came back to the room and gently got into bed with her and held her close.
 
“I do. Okay. I care about it because the world can turn against you in a heartbeat and I need to make sure you’re okay. That’s my job.” He already failed him and his sister a few times before. He wouldn’t do it again.

“I love you more. Be safe.” John said and hung up the phone. He looked at it for a long while and bit his tongue. A part of him wondered if he should go down there and make sure Jake was okay.

Adri rubbed Jake’s hand when he got back into bed. She was able to get some sleep but she felt better with him back in the room. “You feel better?” She asked softly.
 
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