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A couple more bits of comedic dialogue about His Redemption, this time from when Matthias was recovering from injuries sustained by having his demonic soul ripped out by Hydranes.

Ari: Making the women do all the work seems to be a trend lately.
Clara and Thora: mmhmm.
Human!Matthias: Hey, you get badly injured, you get sympathy sex. It’s a thing.
Sigurd: Yeah, what he said.
Ari: I damn near lost my arm, and died. Where is my ‘lie on my back and do nothing sex?’
Human!Matthias: You got a psychological threesome.
Ari: That was a dream, not sure that counts.
Demon!Matthias:Well, if need someone to fuck you *smirks*
Ari: Wasn’t asking you.
Demon!Matthias: You don’t need to ask…

Matthias: Look, I'm just checking that everything's healing properly.
Ari: Oh, that's all.
Matthias: That's all. You heard the physiker. It's just a test, because I'm still too injured to do this…
Ari: mmmmmmm...
Matthias: Or this...
Ari: Oooh goooodesssss...
Matthias: Or evenAAAAGH! My BACK!
Martin. Seriously?

As a bonus, here’s a fairly NSFW picture that could easily have been Matthias and Aurianna in the woods (as discussed/parodied above in post 190).
 
And a bit more of the comedy dialogue, this time on the subject of the harem comedy that became Clara’s love life...

Sue: Whoa, wait a minute. I'm just jealous. I'm not ready to get involved in some polyamorous group. I don't even know this Sigurd! I really don't know if I want to be part of his 'harem'.
Clara: Sue, you've got it all wrong.
Sue: I do?
Clara: Yeah, he's part of my harem.
Sigurd: Wait, what?
Thora: Yeah, really. What?
Clara: Well, you know...
Thora: I'd assumed you two were part of my harem.
Sigurd: Hey, I'm the man in the relationship!
Thora: Good point.
Sigurd: Thank you.
Thora: So go lay Sue hard and proper, so she gets a sense of why she wants to be in my harem. Clara and I will... watch.
Sue: Wait... is anyone even listening to me?
Thora: We will be...
Sigurd: Too...many...women...I can't...keep up...
Clara: Hmm, maybe we need to add another man to my harem.
Thora: You mean my harem.
Sue: Clara, what about Willam?
Clara: Oh, good idea! We can add Willam to my harem.
Sue: That's not what I meant...
Thora: Adding a second guy to my harem would really open up the possibilities.

Ari: This is getting out of hand.
Justine: They are unsupervised teenagers, what do you expect?
Ari: Someone should be watching them.
Justine: Well, she is your apprentice, I think you were supposed to be keeping an eye on her.
Ari: Yeah. I guess I was a bit preoccupied juggling the two Matthiases.
 
Last one for tonight: the assorted titles we kicked around as we were getting Star Wars: Eclipse started.

Star Wars: The Shadow of Hope
Star Wars: Dakness and Light
Star Wars: Eclipse
Star Wars: Somebody's Losing An Arm. Seriously. There's Lightsabers In This.
 
xanaphia said:
Clara: And this is why we called it the Clarem.
Thora: only because the Thorem doesn't roll off the tongue as easily.
Click to expand...
Sigurd: You roll easily off the tongue.
Clara: ...
Thora: ...
Sue: ...what?
Willam: That made no sense, Sigurd.
Sigurd: It sounded so good when I thought of it.
Sue: I thought you were a bard?
 
The rough map of Monsford, circa the assault of the Host of Torment.
tumblr_nzuo7gRBwo1u7oh87o1_1280.png
 
From early in Star Wars: Eclipse, a hypothetical mission debrief for Quentin

Quentin: And then the Sith escaped in the chaos.
Jedi Master: ...
Jedi Master: ...Quentin?
Quentin: Yes?
Jedi Master: You do remember that I can sense your thoughts, right?
Quentin: Uhm... uh... uh oh...
Jedi Master: And I assure you that, had you used the binders as intended, the Sith would not have - as you put it - 'escaoed in the chaos'.
Kaydia: Oh, was that not how we were supposed to use them?
Quentin: Apparently not. From a certain point of view...
 
Again from the archives:

Linora: Give in to your hate. It will make you powerful!
Quentin: That's... uhm... not hate, Linora. I mean, kissing generally isn't a sign of...
Linora: Lust. Giving in to your lust will also make you more powerful.

Quentin: Kaydia is dead, for sure this time.
Kaydia: Quit telling everyone I’m dead.
Quentin: Sometimes I can still hear her voice.

Linora: You know what I just learned?
Jeoram: Ex-lovers be crazy?
Linora: Other than that.
Jeoram: What?
Linora: You can get everything you wanted, and still regret it.
Jeoram: Word.

Oh. And I apparently promised to write out one of the times Aldane raped Kaydia, using Force Puppetry so that she knows she’s being controlled but can’t stop.
 
From the PMs, here’s a cute little vignette Xanaphia wrote about Linora and Quentin, back when they were Padawans. Before she tried to kill him and he cut her arm off.



“Do you have to go?” Linora called after Quentin, reaching for his hand as he eased out of bed. He turned and placed a kiss on her lips before getting up.

“Yes, I have a mission with Master Valis,” Quentin insisted, looking for his discarded clothing.

“Just blow it off. I doubt it’s very important,” Linora tempted, sitting up in bed, revealing her bare chest to his eyes.

“It’s about Master Ki Aid and her padawan, who both went missing. I’d say it’s fairly important,” Quentin explained, reminding himself as much as her. Linora pouted for a moment before reaching for his datapad and browsing the files.

“Kaydia…Oh! I’ve seen her around,” Linora aexclaimed, examining the hologram of the girl. “Quiet, but hard to miss with hair like that. She’s cute.”

“Is she?” Quentin asked, pulling up his pants, “I hadn’t noticed.” Linora briefly tapped into his surface thoughts, trying to determine if he were being honest, or diplomatic. But his thoughts told her nothing, and she couldn’t help feeling a twinge of jealousy, so she decided to turn it back at him.

“Don’t get any ideas, you’re not her type. I think she has a boyfriend, Kazak. The
Iridonian with the pretty eyes.” Linora explained, watching the flexing and bunching of his back and shoulder muscles until he covered them with a shirt.

“You think every pair of Jedi who go off alone are dating,” Quentin teased, rejoining her on the bed to tie on his boots.

“And how often have I been right?” Linora asked, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and caressing his chest. She took a deep kiss form his lips, trying still to distract him from his duty. All she needed was to get in another round of mind blowing sex, and he’d forget Kaydia even existed. It almost worked, as he half twisted to kiss her, rough fingers caressing her face, trailing down her neck…

“I really have to go,” He asserted, pushing her back with trembling hands. She could see the desire in his eyes, feel it pouring out of his mind, but his willpower was too strong to overcome easily.

“How long will you be gone?” She asked, not bothering to hide the disappointment in her voice.

“Depends how long it takes to find them. If they are even still alive.” Quentin said with a shrug. The words left a somber note in the air, overcoming the playful teasing atmosphere Linora had try to create.

“I’ll miss you,” she admitted, pressing her nude figure against his clothed one, to take one last kiss.
 
TheCorsair said:
Oh. And I apparently promised to write out one of the times Aldane raped Kaydia, using Force Puppetry so that she knows she’s being controlled but can’t stop.
Click to expand...

Don't worry. You sufficiently scarred me with that flashback sequence on post 272 of Eclipse.
 
xanaphia said:
TheCorsair said:
Oh. And I apparently promised to write out one of the times Aldane raped Kaydia, using Force Puppetry so that she knows she’s being controlled but can’t stop.
Click to expand...

Don't worry. You sufficiently scarred me with that flashback sequence on post 272 of Eclipse.
Click to expand...

Post 272? Which one was...

Hang on, I’ll just go and look. That was...

o_O

Crap. That was really dark, wasn’t it?
 
More stuff from the PMs. This time, early hypothetical parental reactions to Jackie and Sam’s relationship in Legacy.

Jackie: Uh..Ma? What's this?
Liluye: What's it look like? I figured you two were probably ready for some privacy.
Jackie: But...she's not my wife...
Liluye: Well I know there wasn't a ceremony or anything, but I recognize a son-in-law when I see one.
Jackie: But I'm kinda...y'know...
Liluye: *shrug* Son-in-law, daughter-in-law, all the same when your child is a two-spirit. You just find me a beautiful grandbaby and we'll call it even.
Jackie: .... *giant hug*

This second one is probably less likely, though. It has since been revealed that Sam’s Mother was bisexual and her dad was aware of his wife’s orientation. So he’d be a lot less baffled, really.

Pa: So... you and Jackie are living together as... man and wife?
Sam: Yep, an' Ah ain't...
Pa: How... how does that... work?
Sam: Gonna... what?
Pa: I mean, y'all'r both... women. Right? Least, you are. An' Jackie sure looks to be a lady as well.
Sam: Huh?
Pa: What Ah mean is, well, if'n yore her husband... that is... well, y'all ain't got th'... th' parts. Y'know, at do yer duty.
Sam: ...

Finally, random funny thought. Sam’s dad is a widower and Jackie’s mom is a widow. Sparks could fly.

Sam: No.
 
And more from the PMs! (Yeah, I really am trying to clear them out.)

First, a little cross-setting conversation.

Aurianna: My lover’s ex is my boss. So awkward.
Kaydia: Been there, done that.
Ari: Did that help?
Kaydia: No, not really. It just made everything much worse.
Ari: Yeah things are bad enough around here.
Demon!Matthias: I am hearing foursome.
Baronet Too many names: Seconded

Although, as things transpired, Ari did try doing her boss and her husband’s ex-fiancée. It worked out better for her.

Second, the teens from His Redemption discussing Willam’s introduction to the cast.

Sigurd: Do we really need another guy in this...harem?
Sue: I don't think we need any guys in the harem.
Thora: I don't know, he is pretty cute.
Sigurd: I...I don't see it.
Sue: Oh, are you sure? Don't want to give it a try? Just once?
Sigurd:...

And the Celebration...

Sigurd: Hang on. Neither of us?
Clara: Apparently.
Sue: It's a sacred rite, for ordained Paladins.
Sigurd: Then why does she get to attend?
Thora: Because I'm officiating.
Sigurd: I could take vows!
Thora: You don't believe, though.
Sigurd: I totally believe I want to go to an orgy!
Thora: You know what I mean.
Sigurd: So do you! C'mon, buddy.... help me out here!
Willam: Well... I guess I could. I do prefer girls though.
Sigurd: That isn't what I meant!
Clara, Sue, Thora: Aaaaawwww.
William: Actually, I don't think I can help you out, Sigurd.
Sigurd: Why not? I mean, I don't need that kind of help anyways.
William: I need to figure out how I can get promoted to Paladin in time for the orgy. So, you guys fought a Demon lord, right?
Sue: You are going to try and fight a demon lord just so you can join in an orgy?
William: Let's see, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead? Yeah, point me towards a demon lord right now.
Sue: That is the most shallow reason for perfirming a great deed I've ever heard!
Sigurd: You know I'!m a skald, right. What you guys call a bard?
Sue: Yeah. And?
Sigurd: And so I can tell you authoritatively that every great hero in the history of ever has been motivated by wanting to get a leg over.
Sue: No! What about... or... no, how about... but...
Sue: Well, fuck.
Sigurd: Exactly!
 
Discussions about Zeltron customs, from the PMs:


The famous Klingon saying is "Today is a good day to die." The equivalent Zeltron saying is "Today is a good day to get laid. A lot." So Sheila, at keast, will be up for it.

Sheila: "What can I say? Narrowly escaping death gets me wet."
Quentin: "Doing your taxes probably does that."
Sheila: *shivers* "Oh, you have no idea. Why don't the two of you come back to my office and help me review my capital gains..."

Sheila: Congrats on your engagement. It's Zeltron custom to celebrate with an orgy.
Kaydia: Really?
Sheila: It is our custom for many celebrations.

Sheila: It's also customary that the officiant join in the celebratory post-service orgy.
Valis: We're not even remotely the same species.
Sheila: I can work with that.
Valis: In my species, the fertile females of the household all lay eggs in a communal creche underwater. All of the fertile males of the household then release sperm above the eggs.
Sheila: Right! Let's do this! I'll run a bath and grab a rebreather, and you strip down!
 
Shifting to Meridian Society PMs, here was Sam trying to make a good impression and n her future in-laws by getting into the Hanukkah spirit...

Sam set her package down in the Schmidt family kitchen, and kissed Erik happily. "Ah know Ah ain't been gettin' on wit' yer ma, so Ah thought Ah'd show her Ah kin be lady-like."

Erik shifted nervously at that. "How, liebchen?"

"Reckon Ah'll cook dinner tonight. Some o' mah own family holiday recipies." Cheerfully, she began unpacking the bags. "We didn't have much, but pa always butchered a hog fer Christmas. Ham, an' taters wit' red-eye gravy, an' lard biscuits. Was gonna make fried crawdads as well, but there ain't ni such critter in Germany, so Ah reckon Ah kin fake it wit' this here lobster..."

Erik clapped his hand over his face. "Liebchen..." he began slowly.
 
And some cross-setting conversation that ends, well, the way you might expect.

Aurianna: Yes because it would be a tragedy if a single drop of blood got on your wedding dress.
Kaydia: Well, it would be. Did you seen what that thing cost?
Aurianna: I was soaked in so much blood I had to peel mine off at the end of the evening
Kayda: Okay, jeez I-
Aurianna: Alone.
Kaydia: You win, okay? You win gold in the suffering Olympics.
Ari: My dress was gold...
Kaydia: *throws her hands in the air and gives up*
Clara: Goddess. Someone throw a buket of water on them, before they start playing "my trauma was worse than yours".
Aurelia: Or brandy. We could pour brandy down them.
Clara: That... I don't actually know if that would help. I've never seen Auriana drunk. What if she gets maudlin.
Sheila: Merkuya. Not brandy.
Aurelia: You just want a massive cross-genre lesbian orgy, don't you?
*everyone considers that for a moment'
Clara: Sounds good.
Aurelia: i'm in.
Sheila: I'll be right back with the drugs.
 
Heh, I actually wrote a sequel of sorts for that one, that I intended to put on my journal.

Kaydia is my favorite. You can tell, because I put her through the most shit.

Kaydia: Can someone else be the favorite for awhile?
Aurelia: Nah girl, you got this.
Kaydia: Maybe Aurianna can be the favorite for awhile?
Aurianna: Lol, doesn’t matter, my story is already done and I got my happily ever after.
Lily: Oh, hey Mom, I meant to tell you. I got involved with a demon redemption sex cult and may have to drag you back into the narrative.
Ari: Goddess damn it all.
Astrid: What’s wrong? The author doesn’t seem so bad to me.
Clara: Oh you sweet summer child, you have no idea.
 
LOL

And now, a sequel to the sequel.

Ellistar: Gentlemen. Anything I need to be aware of?
Quentin: You may end up thinking your wife is dead.
Quentin: Repeatedly.
Matthias: Torture is a possibility.
Quentin: That only happened to me once.
Ellistar: Once sounds like more than enough.
Matthias: Being raped is also a possibility.
Quentin: Yep.
Ellistar: This... sounds bad.
Matthias: It was.
Quentin: More than fifty demons, over the course of a three days.
Quentin: My ex, and her lover. Who I married.
Matthias: ...what?
Sigurd: And the group sex. Let’s not forget about that.
Matthias: There is that, yes.
Quentin: Oh, yes. Yes there is.
Ellistar: That doesn’t sound so bad.
Sigurd: It’s exhausting.
 
Sheila Golb. An introverted, bookish Zeltron who isn’t all that interested in sex. By Zeltron standards.

Quentin: What does it say about our lives that your closest female friend is a mega-wealthy nymphomaniac?
Sheila: That you have excellent taste in friends.
Quentin: Oh, hi.
Sheila: Also, I'm not a nymphomaniac. That's a mental illness, in which the victim has an utterly unhealthy obsession with sex, to the point that they can't function.
Quentin: I actually didn't mean...
Sheila: *laughs* No, don't worry. You didn't offend me. Hells, I thought it was funny. I mean, by Zeltron standards, I'm practically frigid.
Quentin: ...you are?
Sheila: *laughs* I rarely have more than three partners a week, mostly drawn from the same eight... uhm... there really isn't a good word in Galactic Basic. 'Friends' is close, but not close enough.
Quentin: ...uhm. Really?
Sheila: Oh, yes. How else do you think I managed to focus enough to build a sector-spanning corporation?
 
I meant to get some posts written. But then I got distracted doing touristy day trip things with the family, and then building Rube Goldberg death traps for Corsair, Jr. in Minecraft.

Lava does not behave the way I expected. But lava said n the top floors of a dungeon plus creepers is pretty satisfying regardless.

Not an apology, really. More of an explanation. I should get some posts written tomorrow. Once the forum opens back up after the 2.0 conversion, anyway.
 
I don’t often read Fox News. But when I do, it’s because I saw a headline like this:

How knife-wielding prostitutes turned hot Spanish vacation destination into nightmare for travelers

“Knife-wielding African sex workers robbing European tourists are turning a town located in the southwest of the island of Mallorca, known for its beaches and Roman ruins, into a tourist no-go zone.

“Magaluf is a hot spot in Spain frequented by young people who take advantage of the cheap alcohol and raucous nightlife, according to The Daily Mail. The prostitutes — who are said to lack the proper documents to live in Spain and apparently end up in Magaluf through Nigerian crime groups — lure the tourists away from bars and restaurants with the promise of sex. The vacationers are then ambushed by either men or groups of other women and robbed; the sex workers also group around drunken men and pickpocket them while they are distracted.”

There’s probably a plot seed here.
 
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